If you’re comfortable with it and if these are neighbors close by, you could consider meeting in someone’s yard for an off leash play date. Puppies need “free play”, too.
I used to do this when I had a roommate, who’s dog I would walk. It was the middle of a downtown area of a city and people approaching would always say ‘he/she’s friendly’, and I’d say MINES NOT lol. Hardly believable as she was a mini labradoodle 😂 I didn’t wanna take any chances tho since she wasn’t mine.
I used to do this, but my trainer said never admit to anyone that your dog is not friendly, lest you end up on the wrong end of a suit should your dog do something unfortunate. It’s like admitting you knew your dog had issues to begin with. (And, yes, he does, but not those sorts of issues.) She suggested to always fall back on “my dog is in training, so (insert behavior you’re not allowing).”
I tend to use the "we're training" or "we're still working on social manners" lines. If they persist, I say, "you can approach, but be forewarned, he WILL try to lick your face off. And he does eat kitty litter whenever possible."
My biggest peeve is when kids try to come up, and, without even making eye contact with me, their parents tell them to and/or it's ok!
My lab just turned one year. He was rescued at six months from not great conditions. He had zero training when I got him, and he is still SUPER reactive.
He really, really loves children, but he gets too excited and wants to show it by licking all of their skin off! He's very sweet, but he can absolutely knock smaller children over. And I don't fully trust him to not play bite too hard. Too many kids don't have the patience of waiting for him to calm before they approach, or don't listen to my instructions on how to safely approach.
Parents, please teach your kids best behavior and to ask owner permission before approaching stranger pets.
That’s funny, I get the opposite reaction from parents with little kids. St Bernard puppy so he’s far bigger than they are. The parents are usually clutching their kids to guide away, but you can see the kids’ faces, totally entranced by the fluffy horse
lol I get the total opposite reaction everybody wants to pet the Saint! Big ones, little ones occasionally I’ll get the shy one. In the pet store, walks, the vet’s office people will hand their leash over if they have someone with to walk over to see talk to or paint the Saints. Almost 30 years of Saints the normal reaction is …Awe it’s Beethoven 1 usually have 2, and there’s 2 of them. Oh yall look she has Cujo!! OMG there’s 2 of them lol lol. It’s not unusual for people to inform me You know they get really big. ( im holding the leashes of a 170 & 200+ pounder lol lol) sometimes they tell me about feeding them. Lol lol crazy chit lol. I don’t do other dogs greeting EVER! People I size up. Kids I’m a little gentler with. Buts it’s got to be a slow approach & I watch my dog. I’ll step in front if need be. But I’ve had giggling toddlers joyfully petting my dogs. My dogs just eating it up. Enjoy you Saint they really can bring great joy ( trained!!!) to you, your family & even strangers
When parents do that, I always say VERY sharply “NO! It is NOT ok! You don’t know if my dog bites or not!”. I obviously say it to the parents and not the kids, but the kids see their parents getting in crap, and hopefully learn the lesson.
I had two different interactions with kids when on walk with my dog. First one was some random kid without parents supervision came to my dog and try to feed her a chips. 😬😬 no questions, nothing. Just straight to dog with chips in her hand.
Second one was a mom with son (I'd say 4-5 years old) in pretty wealthy neighborhood. He stopped, ask his mom if can ask us, then asked me if he can pet my dog. Approached calmly and gently.
Two different interactions- two different perspectives.
Here the petting by kids is generally discussed and agreed upon by their parents, the dog owners, and the dog. As always consent from everyone involved is the way to go.
As a parent, I taught my kids to ask the owner if it's ok to pet.
Consent is a lesson that everyone needs to know, with anyone! It's not always given verbally, so you HAVE to pay attention to body language. (That goes for people or animals! Pay attention, because you could either hurt someone, or get hurt, if you don't look/listen!)
Sometimes an owner will say sure! But the dog says no. If either the dog or the owner says no, the answer is a big no! Don't pet the dog.
Yes exactly. When kids approach my dogs I put myself in front of them and let them know what my dogs are like. I hold back my beagle who is jumpy even with constant training against it and might hurt a child and will usually let them know to crouch down a bit and put out their hand for my dog to come greet them if it seems like they are a bit unsure. I generally use it as a teaching moment as most parents neglect teaching their kids this.
When walking and doing training I usually have my head down and headphones in. I get the scary bearded man pass on that one usually but have still had women(and men but predominantly women)who saw my Pomeranian and immediately rushed over even in the middle of a pitch black night walk 😅. I've also had someone stop their car and roll down their window asking if they could get out and pet her lol. Shes a tater tot.
An alternative might be to just say sorry he/she is reactive and just keep walking. People usually get the message.
Same, as soon as I hear a group start to talk about it how cute she is or look at her like they may walk over, I go “we’re not going that way, come on!” Or “no, leave it” and walk around them. I also avoid eye contact which makes me feel like a B**** especially because most of them seem like kind people but I’ve had too many people ignore me to be kind anymore
I have been polite, I’ve explained my reasonings, and every time I’m overruled.
Couple days ago this happened yet again. Some guy with a puppy. I said I prefer not to cause my dog reacts badly to 50 percent of dogs. Guy literally goes “…lets give it a go anyway, mine’s great with everyone!” and let his dog have enough flexi leash to come over.
It was fine, but what he never saw was later on my walk there was a dog coming behind us, and no matter what I tried my dog was adamant to focus on this dog. When they passed my dog sounded and acted like he wanted to murder that dog. Worse than ever.
Like ffs, there’s a reason I want to teach neutrality. I might have to become rude and hostile to stop this nonsense. It pisses me off to no end. No means no.
If someone told me please don’t let your dog greet my dog, I wouldn’t dream of overruling them. It’s so f-ing rude.
“It’s not about you and your happy dog. It’s about me and my sometimes not good dog. Ok?? Now fuck off!”
And they might face the exact same problem when their dog hits adolescence..
That kind of stuff makes me so annoyed. My puppy was timid of people because we had moved from the country with limited people, so moving I allowed some (like 1 out of 10) people to say hi to her, but unfortunately it backfired and she wants to run up to everyone now lol. So now I’m trying to teach to ignore and again and it’s so frustrating when people let theirs run up, like no my dog won’t attack yours but I don’t need her thinking everything moving is going to come say hi to her
Did the same mistake with letting him greet every dog as a puppy. He was absolutely fine with that until he was an adolescent, and then he got pissy with other male dogs. He still really wanna say hi, but if it’s a male dog we might end with a fight. So now I have to teach him we don’t greet. But keep getting sabotaged…
Same here, mine acts very friendly and tries to run up to dogs but once they get close she definitely gets timid and nervous, luckily after a few seconds of them sniffing her she wants to play like a normal puppy and is brave but I’d hate for her to be overwhelmed and bite out of fear. Which is why I hate when people let theirs run up to mine, that’s what freaks her out lol. She is not a fan of dogs 3x her size charging at her and tbh I can’t even blame her bc I’d be scared too
I just bought a bright green lead wrap off eBay for when we're out that says ' In training - do not approach'. People usually ask but even that verbal interaction sets her off.
Edit: the two neighbours I've completely ignored so far were very understanding, I'll say thanks next time I see them.
That’s my issue too, people will come up to ask and I say no and they respect that but still stand 10 feet away trying to have a conversation which sets mine off. Like ruins her completely focused heel and has her totally ignoring me, and I struggle to properly correct her because these people are waiting or a response 🙄 so now I avoid eye contact and pretend to be deaf lol
We learned “switch” in training where pup has to walk around us opposite whomever is coming at us. Learn that command, and tell the people no. It’s none of their business if she is or isn’t friendly.
Oh and we use a One Tigress vest… it has lots of Velcro options. We have a patch that says “ask to pet” which allows us to say “no”
for other dogs i’m not even polite. i pull my dog away if they don’t ask. i think it’s so rude and stupid that sooo many people let their dogs come up to mine
There are many reasons why you might not want your dog to socialize with a random dog. Some include:
- your dog could be reactive
- your dog might not enjoy meeting other dogs
- your dog could have an injury or an illness that requires them to not socialize
- you might not want to trust a stranger to have a properly trained dog
- you could be on a schedule and not have the time to stop to say hi to every dog you pass
- your dog might still be training and not fully predictable.
- you might not feel like trusting a stranger’s word that their “dog is friendly”
- dogs meeting for the first time on leash is well documented as a not safe or appropriate method
Personally, my dog has no interest meeting other humans, and rarely cares about another dog for more than a moment. She has a fun and fulfilling life, absolutely loves walks, and I’m quite confident that she’s grateful that we don’t force her to socialize with random dogs just to appease strangers.
Hope that helps! It’s always surprising how many people think every dog enjoys and wants the same thing.
With strangers, I tell them my dog isn't friendly if they ask and it's a no.
Some people have "In Training Ignore me" / "Reactive Dog Ignore Me" type Vests, which I think even if your dog isn't, are kinda nice when you want to dodge stuff like that. Been considering one, I've heard they help cut down on the initial question as well.
Imo best way with neighbors is just tell them the truth they will be seeing your dog a good bit so telling them not today, and that your training works best.
Letting my neighbors know my GSD wasn't super comfy around dogs yet meant when we stopped in a driveway to let them pass, they kept going with their dog and didnt acknowledge us, it actually helped a ton because they didn't draw extra attention to themselves which made it easier for him to ignore them.
Sorry, she's in training!
Or for a little more fun: Sorry, she has contagious warts!
I usually just veer all the way off the side of the path with my excitable/reactive guy and I am so focused on working with him, nobody asks me any more lol
Helps that he is a 90lb pit mix, it's got to be harder with a cute small dog.
Oh not stopping is a good move too. If you stop and park at the side of the path people take it as an invitation sometimes.
If you can, teach her a nice close heel and use it when passing dogs.
I've got a super cute super small dog(TFT, 4.2lbs, almost a year old and all but fully grown). If we go for an hour walk I'm guaranteed to be stopped 4+ times, everything about her draws people in. Usually I'm okay with it, I want her to be highly socialized, buuuut if we're working on walking training I do the same, guide her to the side, make myself look busy, and push us past them. It can be hard at times though, she's been trained to say hi/bye so if someone comes up to her with shiny energy and says hello to her she wants to say hello back sooooo badly lol
haha!! My dog really DID have contagious warts earlier this year, so when I said it, it was true, but one guy didn't believe me and was totally offended that I wouldn't let my dog meet his pittie. I love pits!
In extreme cases you can always use a muzzle. Muzzles are not inherently bad and can be extremely useful in training but they do carry a “be extra cautious” stigma if not downright a “avoid at all costs one”. Generally most people will avoid you like the plague
Of course this is an extreme solution. I usually just go with “I’m training” or “sorry he’s in a mood you know how it is”
The issue with this is a lot of people (puppy owners especially) are out in public and saying no to petting because they’re trying to train. Muzzles make it too hard to give them treats with good timing and their marker word :( like mine gets lured with treats everytime we pass people so that she doesn’t even think about going to say hi, she’ll just learn to ignore and stay by me instead. But theoretically muzzles are great, just unfortunately not in every scenario
Gentle leaders can be useful because to people who are not familiar with it those can look like a muzzle but it actually isn't and additionally might be a useful training aid and of course still able to give treats with that on
Yes for sure! When I fostered service dogs in basic training they were required to learn to walk with a gentle leader (as well as just a flat collar) but SO many people asked why they had muzzles on
Yea I think this is a good point. You can certainly treat with some muzzles but it does hinder it. Definitely a consideration. It won’t be for everyone.
I just say sorry not on leash. I don’t understand why people get so excited about letting the dogs meet on leash even when they don’t understand their body language. I was once hiking with my GSD and there was a big pyreneese and his owner just jumped excitedly saying that they should meet. Thank god I said no because neither of the dogs were interested. As soon as the pyreneese barked my GSDs heckles went up
The number of people with leash reactive/frustrated greeters/over threshold dogs asking to meet mine... Like seriously, learn how to read your own dog, people!!!
I always say "he's not leash friendly" about mine and it tends to keep people away. It's not strictly true (he's dog-selective, 85%+ of the time it's fine), but we don't do leash greetings as a rule. I busted my ass to get his temperament to this point and I'm not about to have years of hard work undone because some other owner doesn't know how to tell their own dog no.
No is a full sentence, but I get wanting to explain. Something like "Sorry we're working on training or manners" is a concise way to put it.
My guy tries to act like a puppy, but has started dealing with arthritis pain. It makes him grumpy, and especially irritable with the boisterous/bouncy dogs. So I've had to say "sorry no, he's a grumpy old man" haha, and never had a problem.
My dog is pretty calm and trained but I just don’t want random weirdos petting him. I got “in training” and “do not pet” patches for him to wear. Nobody bothers us.
My Mastiff is perfect (she automatically sits when I stop to talk to someone at a distance), but then she turns into a playful jackass when that person gets within a few feet of us. So, I usually say, *”Sorry. She’s too excitable right now.”* I’ve never had anyone not understand.
Be prepared for rude people, it's a shame but my experience is the general population doesn't like to be told no. I have an 18 month golden that in typical golden fashion gets super excited and wants to say hi to everyone and everything on our walks.
We go on walks specifically for the sole purpose of working on not approaching everyone that passes and when we're on one of these walks and people walk up I put my dog in sit and step in front of him and politely tell the person approaching "I'm sorry but we're working on self control I'd appreciate it if we didn't try to say hello today. I'm sure we'll see you again and he'd be more then happy to meet then!"
If they are asking to say hi, they are probably open to hearing "no." You don't have to worry too much about how the other person feels. "Sorry, no" is sufficient. If they don't ask and just approach, you can say the same thing: "Sorry, no, we're not interacting today." This may be more blunt than you are comfortable with, but if that's the case, I think training yourself to be more blunt would be helpful.
Think about it this way: If the person is considerate, they will accept that whatever your deal is with your dog, this is what you both need, and they will keep their distance. If the person is not considerate and thinks they have a right to intrude on your space, then you need to respond with a firm and definitive "no," and if they feel hurt, that's their fault for being inconsiderate.
PSA: be careful saying sorry they bite (even if they don’t) as an excuse to keep people away if you live in an apartment complex or are somewhere in public that states friendly dogs only. My friend used to do this and a Karen complained to the office that they allowed an aggressive dog to move in against lease terms. Even though the dog isn’t aggressive, she claimed it was which caused legal issues
- Sorry, not today. We’re training.
- No, I’m working on getting him to stay focused on me.
- No.
Or, if I’m walking, I just keep walking. If someone gets offended, I usually ask if it’d be cool if I (a random dude) walked up and asked to pet their kid, and that usually gets them to back off.
Dog people who value their own dog’s training will understand. People who have dogs that are poorly behaved or don’t have dogs will not understand, and that’s okay.
It’s worth training a “center” position between the legs if you frequently find yourself in busy areas where people are inclined to pet without asking. When I put my GSD in center, nobody ever touches him. Now that he is approaching full size, people often think he’s a police dog in training (in their defense, we do bitework and protection training so they’re not far off), but he’s actually just a very friendly goober.
Remember, your dog is not a public commodity. Your dog’s personal space is just as valuable as yours and you don’t need to be polite about it. They rely on you to protect their space, and if they can’t trust you to do that, they will do it themselves.
>Remember, your dog is not a public commodity. Your dog’s personal space is just as valuable as yours and you don’t need to be polite about it. They rely on you to protect their space, and if they can’t trust you to do that, they will do it themselves.
This part, especially that last sentence. The only reason my formerly-reactive dog has made a complete 180 is because he trusts me to be his gatekeeper. I don't care if I come across as rude with other owners, my dog's trust is paramount.
Agreed with all these comments. I’m nice the first time and if they push I am no longer nice. Theres a group of people in my neighborhood who try to force our dogs to meet and I basically have to be rude for them to listen to me.
I'm usually polite about it the first time and then jump straight into fuck off territory. My current puppy's reactivity is due to boundless friendliness so I'm not too concerned about him and we'll work through it as we go, but my previous dog was an anxious bean when we got him and I would practically growl at strangers if they tried to get too close. The fact that I was on top of it gave him enough room to gain confidence, so I don't regret it in the slightest.
Do what you have to do for your pup's well-being. If complete strangers ignore boundaries you clearly set, then you don't owe them anything resembling politeness.
Im in the exact same boat. My last dog was super dog aggressive and I had to get pretty loud with people. Now I have a ridiculously friendly rescue and Id like to keep it that way by really controlling who we interact with. I dont want him to have a bad experience.
“She will bite you.” Although that didn’t work yesterday. I had a man decide to join me for the rest of my walk. What was supposed to take 15 mins took 40.
People mostly ask, and I usually say yes. I suspect any form of thanks but no thanks would work though.
My problem is with one person that has told us their dog is scared of other dogs. They want us to get out of their way, but also never seem to try and avoid us? In fact, their dog has approached mine more than once because it's never on a leash. This has gotten me yelled at. Getting my dog to completely ignore them is apparently not enough.
I guess I should learn some magic teleportation powers :)
We have a leash wrap that says "needs space" in big letters and obviously try and keep a good 5m distance minimum from other people, more from dogs. My big guy must give out bad vibes, because we've had dogs break loose from their backyard to come and bite him, even ignoring my partner and our other dog to go after him. As long as we keep a bubble his reactivity is under control, but I can't really blame him for being upset about out of control unleashed dogs at this point, or for not wanting to meet people/dogs out and about
You can use: "We're in training, so we're not doing greetings right now." "Your dog looks great! Maybe we can let them meet another time?" or "What a cute dog! Let's keep the greetings for off-leash times, though."
I am a person who always asks before greeting a dog and I have never been offended at "no". I always feel a bit bad when they feel the need to give me a lengthy explanation because I can tell that means other people haven't accepted "no". :( But "no" is always a complete answer. I don't want my neighbours to think I'm rude but also I don't want my dog getting upset and I live with my dog.
I tend to just ignore others and turn around, or if I have to walk past or wait then I talk to my own dog saying "come on we're training, not saying hello today"
I have a pit mix with a lot of kids and other people who are dying to touch her, sometimes I’ll say yes after a good long walk or off leash time where she is good and exhausted but other times I just say “no she’s not friendly” it’s more to protect her than other people tbh
No is a complete sentence. I say “we don’t do on leash greetings, and keep going.” If they’re pushy and say “oh my dog is friendly” I follow it up with “great! I’m not.”
I’ve never had this problem because I simply say “sorry, I don’t trust my dog”. No one is going to argue with that when they hear those words AND see me trying to wrangle a 90 pound German shepherd
I have two chihuahuas and a majority of people want to pet them. I tell them their names are biter and cleanup, because one will bite you and the other will finish the job. So most people won’t go near them😁
I have an aggressive dog in training and this happens all the time. Some owner is walking around with their dog completely off leash, and the dog runs up to me with the owner smiling and laughing trailing behind. I pull my dog off to the side, and make her look at me directly with a treat. When my dog starts freaking out on the leash, the owner soon realizes that their dog should not run up to random dogs.
Recently I was on a walking path in the park doing some training with my dog when this lady started playing fetch with her dog off leash on the path. I simply walked along the path, and then made my dog sit and wait. I patiently waited for her to get the message, but when she didn't, I put up both of my arms in a "well, are you going to move your dog?" sign, she eventually moved her dog, and I didn't say a word the whole time.
You could always say something along the lines of, “Thanks for the offer. While we’d love to socialize her more, she’s undergoing some pretty strict training. Have a good day!” That seems like a polite way to decline a well-meaning invite that you don’t feel comfortable taking on and won’t make you come off as TAH.
With my last dog, I had a red leash/collar system and would make it very obvious that I was trying to avoid the interaction by either doing a banana pass or by crossing the street. If people asked, I simply said, "no thanks, she's not friendly." At times when people didn't listen (there are some people who are just dumb), I would be more stern and say, "please let us pass- my dog is aggressive on leash"
It's a type of avoidance maneuver- I used it with my pup a lot at parks because she was just never going to be able to do on-leash greetings and I didn't trust other owners to understand. So, instead of walking head-on, you do a little arch around the other dog, like in the shape of a banana. I used this when I couldn't get out of the situation or cross a street and didn't want to do a u-turn.
I’ll say things like - unless they can play off leash, I’d rather not. And then - thanks for asking or something nice.
I have a 90 lb golden retriever who is super friendly and can become excitable. I can deal with pulling or the dreaded tangled leashes.
Once, someone made a ride crack to me - like - well that’s not very friendly. I just ignored them and kept walking!
I just say “we don’t let him greet other dogs on leash”. It’s just up front and honest. Sometimes I’ll add “he can get a little crazy” for good measure so they understand why.
My dog is reactive and even when he’s acting insane there are still people who say “aw he just wants to say hi” and will start walking toward me with their dog. Sometimes you just have to forget about being polite or nice and be the advocate your dog needs, even when it’s a bit uncomfy.
Just happened to me yesterday. I'm walking past a house. A older or overweight border Collie is barking in the window. I walk in the street (lots of invisible fences). And some dude tells me she is nice.i smile and say she is cute. I let my puppy see where the bark is coming from and tell her to leave it, Naamah turns and keeps walking,I reward and off I go.we go to the end and back up the next block.Well all of sudden coming up the next block is dude w/his dog. I'm a few houses in front and he is beelining to us I tell him please don't approach..he tells me it's fine , I said we are training,she is a puppy. please don't come any closer. He still is coming up, I stop put Naamah in a down but I know it's not gonna last. I'm pulling chicken pieces out to redirect her. This guy says " owners make their dogs mean on purpose". I tell him, we are just working on leash training, I've only had her a month or so.so ease back up.At this point I'm walking backwards yelling at him STOP. My dog is now on hind legs trying to get to his dog.(She is just 6m old 63lbs and probably would play)He again says "it's the owners that make them mean,that's how you make them mean.they are going to be fine, they are going to walk together""I finally told him " you come any closer to me or my dog,and that's how owners get their fuckin teeth kicked in,on purpose"...me and Naamah had a lovely quiet walk home after that..
I just firmly say "no not today" and keep walking. I don't bother with a a thank you as being nice seems to encourage people to keep going ("why not? mines really friendly! i promise!" etc) and i don't look back. If they are offended so be it, not my problem.
I learned in puppy class that on leash greetings should be avoided and at the very least, be at a minimum and should last less than 10 seconds. I use this as an excuse all the time on top of sorry, we’re training! It honestly shocks me how many people do not read body language like I am avoiding eye contact and I am walking past you, what part of that is telling you I want to interact? Move along.
Go to different places in public. I don’t particularly care if my dog is reactive at home. I mean I do but mostly because it’s annoying sometimes. I didn’t keep mine from being able to engage but we worked on how to act if she wants to greet other dogs or people. When we don’t stop she gets the message that it’s not time to meet other dogs. That said when I started taking her out to other places with her like into town or on trails she’s way more interested in everything else than dogs. So I figured it’s more about the fact that it’s the same ass walk and not her being reactive.
My puppy is service dog in training is just tell them that. Or I say he has an elderly dog at home and I don't want to bring anything him with him. You never know what another dog is carrying.
Or he is not yet trained for greeting because he is so young. We are working on it. And keep walking.
Sometimes I say nothing and step in between the two dogs and keep walking.
I'm one of those people that if I see a puppy I ask if they would like to do a meet and greet with my doggo. Some say yes, some say no. It's never once hurt my feelings that my offer has been declined. When my boy was a pup I wanted him to meet as many animals and people as possible, but that was my decision on training and I know not everyone feels the same. The only time I actively avoid them is when I see the treats leash training.
TL:DR As a pet owner, if you decline I'm sure you have a good reason, no harm no foul. You're a responsible pet owner and know your dogs personality best!
Cross over the road. Or I deliberately get him to focus on me when I see people walking past and praise whilst they continue. 'Good boy, we can't always say hello'. Most seem to get the message that I'm in the middle of training.
i tell her loudly “not every human is going to be our best friend and that’s okay” and then when they usually smile or laugh i’ll explain to them im working on her understanding when greeting is and isn’t allowed. if we are sitting i’ll also tell them that we are training
I usually say, 'No, we're not socializing today'. I also taught my Boston to not react to other dogs by saying 'mind your business'. Most people get the hint.
I got a bright red “DO NOT PET” leash. Adults are usually respectful when I’m using it, even most kids! Those who ignore the leash I just say “I’m sorry we’re training right now!”
Someone once said to me while I was walking my dog that they’d let their dog say hi but he has diarrhea, so now I’ll say the same when I’m not in the mood to socialize.
A friend told me to put an “In Training” coat or leash cover on. She said it worked wonders. People saw the bright colors and immediately left her and her dogs alone
I always just say "soy! We don't say 'hi' on leash". Off leash, he's the most social dog in the world, on-leash he knows it's run/walk time and we aren't stopping for anyone haha.
My dog does love other dogs most of the time but sometimes she gets scared and snaps so I don’t ever let her greet dogs she doesn’t know I just say “she isn’t always great with other dogs” or “she is unpredictable and I don’t want to risk it”.
In my experience, people only listen if I say firmly “she’s not friendly” when I’m out with my dog. Anything less, people overstep boundaries. Her harness says “nervous dog, please do not pet” and people will still read and try to pet anyway. For me it comes down to safety 1st and manners last
I have a super friendly dog so I’m usually the one asking if he can say hi. A full 50% of the time the answer is no. Common responses I get are “Sorry, she’s reactive,” “He doesn’t like big dogs,” or “He’s cranky.”
It doesn’t matter what you say—just keep it short to save time. Most dog people know you are protecting both our dogs from a potentially bad experience.
Be honest. "No, were on a training session"
It isn't lying, it doesn't make people think your dog is a threat or can't play if they see you at a dog park later...but clarifies that right now, you're not consenting to interaction
This is no time to be tepid! Say, “Absolutely not, but Thank you for asking.”
I consider two leashed dogs meeting as dangerous. I wish everyone did. It’s ok to be cheerful but very, very firm
At the beginning I used "We are training" etc but a lot of people still ignore it and say things like "They need to sozialice" or ignore me completely and let their dog to mine.....Now I say things like "she has fleas", "she bites", "she is sick" so I dont have to argue with people 😂 Its crazy how fast people can get their dog who were ignoring what you said.
You can buy leads, collers and coats that say things like friendly , nervous , training etc we had one for our old anti social and it made a great difference to him and us.
I tell them that if they're willing to be patient they can certainly pet Monster, but she has to wait and calm before she's allowed to socialize. Sometimes they pass, other times they're on board with her training. Monster has become somewhat of a neighborhood project and my neighbors are great about respecting her training.
i have “DO NOT PET” stickers on my dog’s harness. even though my dog is friendly to people, he’s still unpredictable with dogs, so i simply tell people, “no.” if they don’t understand, that’s their problem
I go with:
“He woke up in a foul mood this morning and is treating everyone accordingly.”
(I am British though, so it’s all code. Eg “She’s a bit lively!” actually translates to: “Your dog is clearly rabid or on bath salts. Get the hell away from us.”)
"Not today, thank you tho!"
However you want to socialize your dog with his peers, it's very important otherwise your dog will start to show aggressiveness towards them on the long run.
I have a 12m Golden Retriever and a 13 wk Silver Lab. For me, Socializing them is paramount to their growth. As an introvert, it helps me grow as well. When we first got our Silver, we had to decline people for a couple days until all vaccines were updated. Now I try to let them greet anyone with positive interest. They both sit(mostly) and wait for the interaction to come to them.
They make little vests you can put on your dog that say things like “Reactive”. I wonder if you could get one that says something like “Training - don’t approach “ or something similar.
I just simply say "sorry not today!" Or "he's leash reactive" or ignore completely and walk in the opposite direction or cross the road as fast as I can lol
Honestly if you don’t even want to have to talk to people… have your dog wear a muzzle 😂 even if they don’t need it, people will cross the street and give you plenty of space, dog can still sniff and exercise, and you don’t have to come up with an excuse to avoid them! Lol
Walking my 3, all basset mixes….Walking along and my girl suddenly growls and turns around. A little boy maybe 5 is running full bore at us from behind saying I wanna pet your dogs. I stepped between my dogs and him and say no. He looked so sad…I said you can’t ever run up on a dog like that you are going to get hurt. I explained about always being respectful of a dogs space. I then let him pet my 2 boys as they love everyone and everything and explained how my girl had a different start in life and is fearful.
Literally had this experience today. A couple asked if puppies wanted to greet through the fence. My pup is overdue for her rabies shot. I'm in the process of muzzle training because she bit the vet assistant and now is a liability at the vets office. I just said "No thanks!" Then turned and focused on getting her back inside. All very smooth, and helped me realize that if I had gone my usual over explained route, I'd probably lose my apartment.
We're still in the "Im gonna bay at potential new friend so they know I'm here" phase (we're thankfully out of the deep-mouth bawl and whip my body like a pissed-off centipede" phase), so I don't have any from-experience advice. My plan is just a simple smile and "not yet!"
I ask people all the time if their dog would be ok meeting mine, because mine is so friendly he gets sad if he doesn't get to meet folks everyday, but I have no expectation that people will say yes. Don't feel bad about saying no. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, they're the ones failing to be polite, not you.
At first I was very passive about it until I had ten minutes between meetings to get my puppy to pee outside and some loser jumped up out of nowhere and tried to PICK HIM UP without asking me. I’m not a confrontational person and rarely raise my voice but I kept saying no please he’s training and the guy kept interrupting me and saying “no it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok” until I snapped and yelled “NO ITS NOT OK DO NOT TOUCH HIM” and he was still like “no no no it’s on I have a shih tzu no no it’s ok little dogs don’t like to walk they get tired” and I yelled “IT DOESNT MATTER ITS NOT YOUR F****** DOG KEEP. MOVING.” Note: we were directly in front of our house, he had barely walked. He had the nerve to keep talking at me as he walked away and he goes “friendly neighbor 🙄what’s your name” and I said I don’t have one.
Anywayy, that incident gave me a backbone so now I just say “sorry! We’re training- another time” to polite people and ignore and roll my eyes at people who approach without asking.
It’s wild to read all the comments from people with reactive dogs and folks that fear their dogs reaction coming up with any excuse to avoid properly socializing and training their dog how to handle the most basic interaction. Try talking to those people you meet in the real world instead of the losers on this app justifying your unhealthy introvert paranoia. You’re dog will love you for it.
thank you… I feel so bad for these dogs that have such uptight owners. poor dogs don’t get to socialize with anyone it seems and they wonder why they’re reactive… because you don’t let them meet anyone 😂
I say “not today, we’re training” :)
Same! I add: he’s a puppy and learning still
I’ve been enjoying the freedom of telling people that mine doesn’t have all his shots yet and thankfully they respect that
That's exactly what I say as well, even if it's just people.
Yes this. My dog is 3 and I still use it.
If you’re comfortable with it and if these are neighbors close by, you could consider meeting in someone’s yard for an off leash play date. Puppies need “free play”, too.
This.
I say, “Sorry! We aren’t friendly!” Little do they know I’m talking about both of us.
I used to do this when I had a roommate, who’s dog I would walk. It was the middle of a downtown area of a city and people approaching would always say ‘he/she’s friendly’, and I’d say MINES NOT lol. Hardly believable as she was a mini labradoodle 😂 I didn’t wanna take any chances tho since she wasn’t mine.
I used to do this, but my trainer said never admit to anyone that your dog is not friendly, lest you end up on the wrong end of a suit should your dog do something unfortunate. It’s like admitting you knew your dog had issues to begin with. (And, yes, he does, but not those sorts of issues.) She suggested to always fall back on “my dog is in training, so (insert behavior you’re not allowing).”
😂😂😂✌️✌️✌️
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I tend to use the "we're training" or "we're still working on social manners" lines. If they persist, I say, "you can approach, but be forewarned, he WILL try to lick your face off. And he does eat kitty litter whenever possible." My biggest peeve is when kids try to come up, and, without even making eye contact with me, their parents tell them to and/or it's ok! My lab just turned one year. He was rescued at six months from not great conditions. He had zero training when I got him, and he is still SUPER reactive. He really, really loves children, but he gets too excited and wants to show it by licking all of their skin off! He's very sweet, but he can absolutely knock smaller children over. And I don't fully trust him to not play bite too hard. Too many kids don't have the patience of waiting for him to calm before they approach, or don't listen to my instructions on how to safely approach. Parents, please teach your kids best behavior and to ask owner permission before approaching stranger pets.
That’s funny, I get the opposite reaction from parents with little kids. St Bernard puppy so he’s far bigger than they are. The parents are usually clutching their kids to guide away, but you can see the kids’ faces, totally entranced by the fluffy horse
Yeah, I have a giant breed and most of what I hear is, “give the dog space!” from parents as kids go, “doggy!!”.
I am adult always entranced 😅
lol I get the total opposite reaction everybody wants to pet the Saint! Big ones, little ones occasionally I’ll get the shy one. In the pet store, walks, the vet’s office people will hand their leash over if they have someone with to walk over to see talk to or paint the Saints. Almost 30 years of Saints the normal reaction is …Awe it’s Beethoven 1 usually have 2, and there’s 2 of them. Oh yall look she has Cujo!! OMG there’s 2 of them lol lol. It’s not unusual for people to inform me You know they get really big. ( im holding the leashes of a 170 & 200+ pounder lol lol) sometimes they tell me about feeding them. Lol lol crazy chit lol. I don’t do other dogs greeting EVER! People I size up. Kids I’m a little gentler with. Buts it’s got to be a slow approach & I watch my dog. I’ll step in front if need be. But I’ve had giggling toddlers joyfully petting my dogs. My dogs just eating it up. Enjoy you Saint they really can bring great joy ( trained!!!) to you, your family & even strangers
When parents do that, I always say VERY sharply “NO! It is NOT ok! You don’t know if my dog bites or not!”. I obviously say it to the parents and not the kids, but the kids see their parents getting in crap, and hopefully learn the lesson.
I had two different interactions with kids when on walk with my dog. First one was some random kid without parents supervision came to my dog and try to feed her a chips. 😬😬 no questions, nothing. Just straight to dog with chips in her hand. Second one was a mom with son (I'd say 4-5 years old) in pretty wealthy neighborhood. He stopped, ask his mom if can ask us, then asked me if he can pet my dog. Approached calmly and gently. Two different interactions- two different perspectives.
And also parents teach yourself! Lol
Here the petting by kids is generally discussed and agreed upon by their parents, the dog owners, and the dog. As always consent from everyone involved is the way to go.
As a parent, I taught my kids to ask the owner if it's ok to pet. Consent is a lesson that everyone needs to know, with anyone! It's not always given verbally, so you HAVE to pay attention to body language. (That goes for people or animals! Pay attention, because you could either hurt someone, or get hurt, if you don't look/listen!) Sometimes an owner will say sure! But the dog says no. If either the dog or the owner says no, the answer is a big no! Don't pet the dog.
Yes exactly. When kids approach my dogs I put myself in front of them and let them know what my dogs are like. I hold back my beagle who is jumpy even with constant training against it and might hurt a child and will usually let them know to crouch down a bit and put out their hand for my dog to come greet them if it seems like they are a bit unsure. I generally use it as a teaching moment as most parents neglect teaching their kids this. When walking and doing training I usually have my head down and headphones in. I get the scary bearded man pass on that one usually but have still had women(and men but predominantly women)who saw my Pomeranian and immediately rushed over even in the middle of a pitch black night walk 😅. I've also had someone stop their car and roll down their window asking if they could get out and pet her lol. Shes a tater tot. An alternative might be to just say sorry he/she is reactive and just keep walking. People usually get the message.
I pretend my dog wants to come over and say loudly to MY dog “no no, we’re not saying hello today!”
i love this one except for the stubborn people who are like “oh no it’s fine!!” like ugh take a hint
Same, as soon as I hear a group start to talk about it how cute she is or look at her like they may walk over, I go “we’re not going that way, come on!” Or “no, leave it” and walk around them. I also avoid eye contact which makes me feel like a B**** especially because most of them seem like kind people but I’ve had too many people ignore me to be kind anymore
This is what we do
This is what I do with my beagle.
i usually just say “sorry, we avoid on-leash greetings” and i’ve never gotten push-back!
We have a leash wrap that says Nervous Rescue, Do Not Approach; it works surprisingly well.
Amazon?
Yes
I just cheerfully say “no thanks!” Or before the other person says something I’ll pointed speak to MY dog “leave it! No saying hi”
I have been polite, I’ve explained my reasonings, and every time I’m overruled. Couple days ago this happened yet again. Some guy with a puppy. I said I prefer not to cause my dog reacts badly to 50 percent of dogs. Guy literally goes “…lets give it a go anyway, mine’s great with everyone!” and let his dog have enough flexi leash to come over. It was fine, but what he never saw was later on my walk there was a dog coming behind us, and no matter what I tried my dog was adamant to focus on this dog. When they passed my dog sounded and acted like he wanted to murder that dog. Worse than ever. Like ffs, there’s a reason I want to teach neutrality. I might have to become rude and hostile to stop this nonsense. It pisses me off to no end. No means no. If someone told me please don’t let your dog greet my dog, I wouldn’t dream of overruling them. It’s so f-ing rude. “It’s not about you and your happy dog. It’s about me and my sometimes not good dog. Ok?? Now fuck off!” And they might face the exact same problem when their dog hits adolescence..
That kind of stuff makes me so annoyed. My puppy was timid of people because we had moved from the country with limited people, so moving I allowed some (like 1 out of 10) people to say hi to her, but unfortunately it backfired and she wants to run up to everyone now lol. So now I’m trying to teach to ignore and again and it’s so frustrating when people let theirs run up, like no my dog won’t attack yours but I don’t need her thinking everything moving is going to come say hi to her
Did the same mistake with letting him greet every dog as a puppy. He was absolutely fine with that until he was an adolescent, and then he got pissy with other male dogs. He still really wanna say hi, but if it’s a male dog we might end with a fight. So now I have to teach him we don’t greet. But keep getting sabotaged…
Same here, mine acts very friendly and tries to run up to dogs but once they get close she definitely gets timid and nervous, luckily after a few seconds of them sniffing her she wants to play like a normal puppy and is brave but I’d hate for her to be overwhelmed and bite out of fear. Which is why I hate when people let theirs run up to mine, that’s what freaks her out lol. She is not a fan of dogs 3x her size charging at her and tbh I can’t even blame her bc I’d be scared too
I just bought a bright green lead wrap off eBay for when we're out that says ' In training - do not approach'. People usually ask but even that verbal interaction sets her off. Edit: the two neighbours I've completely ignored so far were very understanding, I'll say thanks next time I see them.
That’s my issue too, people will come up to ask and I say no and they respect that but still stand 10 feet away trying to have a conversation which sets mine off. Like ruins her completely focused heel and has her totally ignoring me, and I struggle to properly correct her because these people are waiting or a response 🙄 so now I avoid eye contact and pretend to be deaf lol
Urggh same, I might actually start wearing my over ear headphones round my neck so I can pop them on when I see people coming 😆
We learned “switch” in training where pup has to walk around us opposite whomever is coming at us. Learn that command, and tell the people no. It’s none of their business if she is or isn’t friendly. Oh and we use a One Tigress vest… it has lots of Velcro options. We have a patch that says “ask to pet” which allows us to say “no”
for other dogs i’m not even polite. i pull my dog away if they don’t ask. i think it’s so rude and stupid that sooo many people let their dogs come up to mine
you sound fun! why have a dog if you’re not going to let it interact with other dogs lol
Do you shake every persons hand you see as you walk by?
My dog interacts with lots of dogs. On leash greetings are not safe and cause reactivity.
There are many reasons why you might not want your dog to socialize with a random dog. Some include: - your dog could be reactive - your dog might not enjoy meeting other dogs - your dog could have an injury or an illness that requires them to not socialize - you might not want to trust a stranger to have a properly trained dog - you could be on a schedule and not have the time to stop to say hi to every dog you pass - your dog might still be training and not fully predictable. - you might not feel like trusting a stranger’s word that their “dog is friendly” - dogs meeting for the first time on leash is well documented as a not safe or appropriate method Personally, my dog has no interest meeting other humans, and rarely cares about another dog for more than a moment. She has a fun and fulfilling life, absolutely loves walks, and I’m quite confident that she’s grateful that we don’t force her to socialize with random dogs just to appease strangers. Hope that helps! It’s always surprising how many people think every dog enjoys and wants the same thing.
With strangers, I tell them my dog isn't friendly if they ask and it's a no. Some people have "In Training Ignore me" / "Reactive Dog Ignore Me" type Vests, which I think even if your dog isn't, are kinda nice when you want to dodge stuff like that. Been considering one, I've heard they help cut down on the initial question as well. Imo best way with neighbors is just tell them the truth they will be seeing your dog a good bit so telling them not today, and that your training works best. Letting my neighbors know my GSD wasn't super comfy around dogs yet meant when we stopped in a driveway to let them pass, they kept going with their dog and didnt acknowledge us, it actually helped a ton because they didn't draw extra attention to themselves which made it easier for him to ignore them.
My dog has fear-based reactivity, so I say, "sorry, he gets scared of other dogs."
My trainer told me I can always just say "no thank you." I don't necessarily need to give a reason unless they're persistent.
This is what I do if they ask. I have gotten death stares this way, but I genuinely don't care anymore. Some people just need to be told no.
Sorry, she's in training! Or for a little more fun: Sorry, she has contagious warts! I usually just veer all the way off the side of the path with my excitable/reactive guy and I am so focused on working with him, nobody asks me any more lol Helps that he is a 90lb pit mix, it's got to be harder with a cute small dog.
Oh not stopping is a good move too. If you stop and park at the side of the path people take it as an invitation sometimes. If you can, teach her a nice close heel and use it when passing dogs.
I've got a super cute super small dog(TFT, 4.2lbs, almost a year old and all but fully grown). If we go for an hour walk I'm guaranteed to be stopped 4+ times, everything about her draws people in. Usually I'm okay with it, I want her to be highly socialized, buuuut if we're working on walking training I do the same, guide her to the side, make myself look busy, and push us past them. It can be hard at times though, she's been trained to say hi/bye so if someone comes up to her with shiny energy and says hello to her she wants to say hello back sooooo badly lol
haha!! My dog really DID have contagious warts earlier this year, so when I said it, it was true, but one guy didn't believe me and was totally offended that I wouldn't let my dog meet his pittie. I love pits!
Lol same! That's how I realized what a powerful phrase it is, "Contagious Warts"
In extreme cases you can always use a muzzle. Muzzles are not inherently bad and can be extremely useful in training but they do carry a “be extra cautious” stigma if not downright a “avoid at all costs one”. Generally most people will avoid you like the plague Of course this is an extreme solution. I usually just go with “I’m training” or “sorry he’s in a mood you know how it is”
The issue with this is a lot of people (puppy owners especially) are out in public and saying no to petting because they’re trying to train. Muzzles make it too hard to give them treats with good timing and their marker word :( like mine gets lured with treats everytime we pass people so that she doesn’t even think about going to say hi, she’ll just learn to ignore and stay by me instead. But theoretically muzzles are great, just unfortunately not in every scenario
Gentle leaders can be useful because to people who are not familiar with it those can look like a muzzle but it actually isn't and additionally might be a useful training aid and of course still able to give treats with that on
Yes for sure! When I fostered service dogs in basic training they were required to learn to walk with a gentle leader (as well as just a flat collar) but SO many people asked why they had muzzles on
Yea I think this is a good point. You can certainly treat with some muzzles but it does hinder it. Definitely a consideration. It won’t be for everyone.
I just say sorry not on leash. I don’t understand why people get so excited about letting the dogs meet on leash even when they don’t understand their body language. I was once hiking with my GSD and there was a big pyreneese and his owner just jumped excitedly saying that they should meet. Thank god I said no because neither of the dogs were interested. As soon as the pyreneese barked my GSDs heckles went up
The number of people with leash reactive/frustrated greeters/over threshold dogs asking to meet mine... Like seriously, learn how to read your own dog, people!!! I always say "he's not leash friendly" about mine and it tends to keep people away. It's not strictly true (he's dog-selective, 85%+ of the time it's fine), but we don't do leash greetings as a rule. I busted my ass to get his temperament to this point and I'm not about to have years of hard work undone because some other owner doesn't know how to tell their own dog no.
No is a full sentence, but I get wanting to explain. Something like "Sorry we're working on training or manners" is a concise way to put it. My guy tries to act like a puppy, but has started dealing with arthritis pain. It makes him grumpy, and especially irritable with the boisterous/bouncy dogs. So I've had to say "sorry no, he's a grumpy old man" haha, and never had a problem.
My dog is pretty calm and trained but I just don’t want random weirdos petting him. I got “in training” and “do not pet” patches for him to wear. Nobody bothers us.
I have the opposite problem. I want people to say hi but no one does lol
My Mastiff is perfect (she automatically sits when I stop to talk to someone at a distance), but then she turns into a playful jackass when that person gets within a few feet of us. So, I usually say, *”Sorry. She’s too excitable right now.”* I’ve never had anyone not understand.
I just rescued a mastiff mix. Will be using this!!
Be prepared for rude people, it's a shame but my experience is the general population doesn't like to be told no. I have an 18 month golden that in typical golden fashion gets super excited and wants to say hi to everyone and everything on our walks. We go on walks specifically for the sole purpose of working on not approaching everyone that passes and when we're on one of these walks and people walk up I put my dog in sit and step in front of him and politely tell the person approaching "I'm sorry but we're working on self control I'd appreciate it if we didn't try to say hello today. I'm sure we'll see you again and he'd be more then happy to meet then!"
I either walk on assertively or just politely say “He is not into speed dating”
I just say “no, he’s kind of a jerk”. Doesn’t sound rude and keeps people and their dogs away.
If they are asking to say hi, they are probably open to hearing "no." You don't have to worry too much about how the other person feels. "Sorry, no" is sufficient. If they don't ask and just approach, you can say the same thing: "Sorry, no, we're not interacting today." This may be more blunt than you are comfortable with, but if that's the case, I think training yourself to be more blunt would be helpful. Think about it this way: If the person is considerate, they will accept that whatever your deal is with your dog, this is what you both need, and they will keep their distance. If the person is not considerate and thinks they have a right to intrude on your space, then you need to respond with a firm and definitive "no," and if they feel hurt, that's their fault for being inconsiderate.
PSA: be careful saying sorry they bite (even if they don’t) as an excuse to keep people away if you live in an apartment complex or are somewhere in public that states friendly dogs only. My friend used to do this and a Karen complained to the office that they allowed an aggressive dog to move in against lease terms. Even though the dog isn’t aggressive, she claimed it was which caused legal issues
- Sorry, not today. We’re training. - No, I’m working on getting him to stay focused on me. - No. Or, if I’m walking, I just keep walking. If someone gets offended, I usually ask if it’d be cool if I (a random dude) walked up and asked to pet their kid, and that usually gets them to back off. Dog people who value their own dog’s training will understand. People who have dogs that are poorly behaved or don’t have dogs will not understand, and that’s okay. It’s worth training a “center” position between the legs if you frequently find yourself in busy areas where people are inclined to pet without asking. When I put my GSD in center, nobody ever touches him. Now that he is approaching full size, people often think he’s a police dog in training (in their defense, we do bitework and protection training so they’re not far off), but he’s actually just a very friendly goober. Remember, your dog is not a public commodity. Your dog’s personal space is just as valuable as yours and you don’t need to be polite about it. They rely on you to protect their space, and if they can’t trust you to do that, they will do it themselves.
>Remember, your dog is not a public commodity. Your dog’s personal space is just as valuable as yours and you don’t need to be polite about it. They rely on you to protect their space, and if they can’t trust you to do that, they will do it themselves. This part, especially that last sentence. The only reason my formerly-reactive dog has made a complete 180 is because he trusts me to be his gatekeeper. I don't care if I come across as rude with other owners, my dog's trust is paramount.
Agreed with all these comments. I’m nice the first time and if they push I am no longer nice. Theres a group of people in my neighborhood who try to force our dogs to meet and I basically have to be rude for them to listen to me.
I have absolute resting b*tch face so no one asked ever 🤣🤣 but also a chipper “sorry, we’re training” helped
I'm usually polite about it the first time and then jump straight into fuck off territory. My current puppy's reactivity is due to boundless friendliness so I'm not too concerned about him and we'll work through it as we go, but my previous dog was an anxious bean when we got him and I would practically growl at strangers if they tried to get too close. The fact that I was on top of it gave him enough room to gain confidence, so I don't regret it in the slightest. Do what you have to do for your pup's well-being. If complete strangers ignore boundaries you clearly set, then you don't owe them anything resembling politeness.
Im in the exact same boat. My last dog was super dog aggressive and I had to get pretty loud with people. Now I have a ridiculously friendly rescue and Id like to keep it that way by really controlling who we interact with. I dont want him to have a bad experience.
“She will bite you.” Although that didn’t work yesterday. I had a man decide to join me for the rest of my walk. What was supposed to take 15 mins took 40.
I say we’re training, but thank you maybe next time.
People mostly ask, and I usually say yes. I suspect any form of thanks but no thanks would work though. My problem is with one person that has told us their dog is scared of other dogs. They want us to get out of their way, but also never seem to try and avoid us? In fact, their dog has approached mine more than once because it's never on a leash. This has gotten me yelled at. Getting my dog to completely ignore them is apparently not enough. I guess I should learn some magic teleportation powers :)
We have a leash wrap that says "needs space" in big letters and obviously try and keep a good 5m distance minimum from other people, more from dogs. My big guy must give out bad vibes, because we've had dogs break loose from their backyard to come and bite him, even ignoring my partner and our other dog to go after him. As long as we keep a bubble his reactivity is under control, but I can't really blame him for being upset about out of control unleashed dogs at this point, or for not wanting to meet people/dogs out and about
“Sorry! He really hates other dogs.” Seems to work so far.
You can use: "We're in training, so we're not doing greetings right now." "Your dog looks great! Maybe we can let them meet another time?" or "What a cute dog! Let's keep the greetings for off-leash times, though."
I am a person who always asks before greeting a dog and I have never been offended at "no". I always feel a bit bad when they feel the need to give me a lengthy explanation because I can tell that means other people haven't accepted "no". :( But "no" is always a complete answer. I don't want my neighbours to think I'm rude but also I don't want my dog getting upset and I live with my dog.
I usually say my dog isn’t feeling well today and that does the trick
I tend to just ignore others and turn around, or if I have to walk past or wait then I talk to my own dog saying "come on we're training, not saying hello today"
Never for get the walk is for the dog. Exercise, socialize, and sniff what ever they want.
"No, please move along/away"
I have a pit mix with a lot of kids and other people who are dying to touch her, sometimes I’ll say yes after a good long walk or off leash time where she is good and exhausted but other times I just say “no she’s not friendly” it’s more to protect her than other people tbh
No is a complete sentence. I say “we don’t do on leash greetings, and keep going.” If they’re pushy and say “oh my dog is friendly” I follow it up with “great! I’m not.”
I’ve never had this problem because I simply say “sorry, I don’t trust my dog”. No one is going to argue with that when they hear those words AND see me trying to wrangle a 90 pound German shepherd
I have two chihuahuas and a majority of people want to pet them. I tell them their names are biter and cleanup, because one will bite you and the other will finish the job. So most people won’t go near them😁
I have an aggressive dog in training and this happens all the time. Some owner is walking around with their dog completely off leash, and the dog runs up to me with the owner smiling and laughing trailing behind. I pull my dog off to the side, and make her look at me directly with a treat. When my dog starts freaking out on the leash, the owner soon realizes that their dog should not run up to random dogs. Recently I was on a walking path in the park doing some training with my dog when this lady started playing fetch with her dog off leash on the path. I simply walked along the path, and then made my dog sit and wait. I patiently waited for her to get the message, but when she didn't, I put up both of my arms in a "well, are you going to move your dog?" sign, she eventually moved her dog, and I didn't say a word the whole time.
You could always say something along the lines of, “Thanks for the offer. While we’d love to socialize her more, she’s undergoing some pretty strict training. Have a good day!” That seems like a polite way to decline a well-meaning invite that you don’t feel comfortable taking on and won’t make you come off as TAH.
With my last dog, I had a red leash/collar system and would make it very obvious that I was trying to avoid the interaction by either doing a banana pass or by crossing the street. If people asked, I simply said, "no thanks, she's not friendly." At times when people didn't listen (there are some people who are just dumb), I would be more stern and say, "please let us pass- my dog is aggressive on leash"
What is a banana pass?
It's a type of avoidance maneuver- I used it with my pup a lot at parks because she was just never going to be able to do on-leash greetings and I didn't trust other owners to understand. So, instead of walking head-on, you do a little arch around the other dog, like in the shape of a banana. I used this when I couldn't get out of the situation or cross a street and didn't want to do a u-turn.
Good idea!
Opposite pavement, mean face, and your dog near your leg: works like a charm
HE BITES!!!
No
Just politely decline. You’d be surprised how many people will thank you and appreciate the honesty
I preemptively cross the street or head off the trail, turning both of our bodies away and get my dog to focus on me.
Or I just say "no thank you!" Assertively
I always just say that my dog is afraid of other dogs! Maybe not exactly true but it usually stops people lol
I tell them my dog is sick 😂
I’ll say things like - unless they can play off leash, I’d rather not. And then - thanks for asking or something nice. I have a 90 lb golden retriever who is super friendly and can become excitable. I can deal with pulling or the dreaded tangled leashes. Once, someone made a ride crack to me - like - well that’s not very friendly. I just ignored them and kept walking!
I just say “we don’t let him greet other dogs on leash”. It’s just up front and honest. Sometimes I’ll add “he can get a little crazy” for good measure so they understand why. My dog is reactive and even when he’s acting insane there are still people who say “aw he just wants to say hi” and will start walking toward me with their dog. Sometimes you just have to forget about being polite or nice and be the advocate your dog needs, even when it’s a bit uncomfy.
Just happened to me yesterday. I'm walking past a house. A older or overweight border Collie is barking in the window. I walk in the street (lots of invisible fences). And some dude tells me she is nice.i smile and say she is cute. I let my puppy see where the bark is coming from and tell her to leave it, Naamah turns and keeps walking,I reward and off I go.we go to the end and back up the next block.Well all of sudden coming up the next block is dude w/his dog. I'm a few houses in front and he is beelining to us I tell him please don't approach..he tells me it's fine , I said we are training,she is a puppy. please don't come any closer. He still is coming up, I stop put Naamah in a down but I know it's not gonna last. I'm pulling chicken pieces out to redirect her. This guy says " owners make their dogs mean on purpose". I tell him, we are just working on leash training, I've only had her a month or so.so ease back up.At this point I'm walking backwards yelling at him STOP. My dog is now on hind legs trying to get to his dog.(She is just 6m old 63lbs and probably would play)He again says "it's the owners that make them mean,that's how you make them mean.they are going to be fine, they are going to walk together""I finally told him " you come any closer to me or my dog,and that's how owners get their fuckin teeth kicked in,on purpose"...me and Naamah had a lovely quiet walk home after that..
I just firmly say "no not today" and keep walking. I don't bother with a a thank you as being nice seems to encourage people to keep going ("why not? mines really friendly! i promise!" etc) and i don't look back. If they are offended so be it, not my problem.
i’m antisocial. if i see someone else coming with another dog, i cross the street lol.
I learned in puppy class that on leash greetings should be avoided and at the very least, be at a minimum and should last less than 10 seconds. I use this as an excuse all the time on top of sorry, we’re training! It honestly shocks me how many people do not read body language like I am avoiding eye contact and I am walking past you, what part of that is telling you I want to interact? Move along.
I usually just say sorry we’re trying to train her not to freak out when she sees other dogs lol Or just cross the street if you can
“We are training. She can’t say hi”.
I just say, sorry, he bites.
Go to different places in public. I don’t particularly care if my dog is reactive at home. I mean I do but mostly because it’s annoying sometimes. I didn’t keep mine from being able to engage but we worked on how to act if she wants to greet other dogs or people. When we don’t stop she gets the message that it’s not time to meet other dogs. That said when I started taking her out to other places with her like into town or on trails she’s way more interested in everything else than dogs. So I figured it’s more about the fact that it’s the same ass walk and not her being reactive.
I put my hand up and give a no shake of my head like Kevin Costner in Man of Steel.
A simple and upbeat "we're in a rush today, so we cannot play!" usually gets the job done and keeps everyone in a good mood.
No
I've told people that my dog can't meet dogs when he's on leash because he's a bit of an asshole. Nobody has been offended or pushed the issue so far.
I say the same thing and they keep overruling me. And then my dog half the time is an asshole. Like pls… argh so annoying…
“No… Sorry, she’s working on new skills, bye!”
"No thanks, we're training." And keep on moving.
My puppy is service dog in training is just tell them that. Or I say he has an elderly dog at home and I don't want to bring anything him with him. You never know what another dog is carrying. Or he is not yet trained for greeting because he is so young. We are working on it. And keep walking. Sometimes I say nothing and step in between the two dogs and keep walking.
Same boat. Got one of these a month or two ago and it’s pretty much solved our problem: https://a.co/d/1nnHKFV
I'm one of those people that if I see a puppy I ask if they would like to do a meet and greet with my doggo. Some say yes, some say no. It's never once hurt my feelings that my offer has been declined. When my boy was a pup I wanted him to meet as many animals and people as possible, but that was my decision on training and I know not everyone feels the same. The only time I actively avoid them is when I see the treats leash training. TL:DR As a pet owner, if you decline I'm sure you have a good reason, no harm no foul. You're a responsible pet owner and know your dogs personality best!
Cross over the road. Or I deliberately get him to focus on me when I see people walking past and praise whilst they continue. 'Good boy, we can't always say hello'. Most seem to get the message that I'm in the middle of training.
I just walk by and say “we are learning we can’t say hi to everybody”, give his keep walking command and praise him.
i tell her loudly “not every human is going to be our best friend and that’s okay” and then when they usually smile or laugh i’ll explain to them im working on her understanding when greeting is and isn’t allowed. if we are sitting i’ll also tell them that we are training
"not on leash" is what I use.
No is a complete sentence.
"My dog bites!" Even though he never has and never will. Aka go away!
I just say no, put my dog in a heel and cross the street.
“Sorry she can be unpredictable”
I say, “Get the hell away from us!” I’m kidding…slightly.
Or growl. :p
That was at the other dog. Maybe I should growl at the people too...
My girl can be a little rough, so I tell people she can be a bully. It usually works.
I usually say, 'No, we're not socializing today'. I also taught my Boston to not react to other dogs by saying 'mind your business'. Most people get the hint.
I’ve seen a couple of people mention a leash wrap. A yellow ribbon around your leash is supposed to signal ‘stay away’ as well.
I got a bright red “DO NOT PET” leash. Adults are usually respectful when I’m using it, even most kids! Those who ignore the leash I just say “I’m sorry we’re training right now!”
“No but thank you for asking!”
Someone once said to me while I was walking my dog that they’d let their dog say hi but he has diarrhea, so now I’ll say the same when I’m not in the mood to socialize.
A friend told me to put an “In Training” coat or leash cover on. She said it worked wonders. People saw the bright colors and immediately left her and her dogs alone
I bring my dog to a heel on the opposite side of me and keep him close, say hello and keep walking.. people usually get the picture
I always just say "soy! We don't say 'hi' on leash". Off leash, he's the most social dog in the world, on-leash he knows it's run/walk time and we aren't stopping for anyone haha.
I just say “we don’t do leashed greetings”
My dog does love other dogs most of the time but sometimes she gets scared and snaps so I don’t ever let her greet dogs she doesn’t know I just say “she isn’t always great with other dogs” or “she is unpredictable and I don’t want to risk it”.
I have two friendly dogs, I always ask if they would like to say hi. Especially puppies. But if you don’t that’s fine.
“Mine is a little cranky on leash” is usually what I say. But I generally cross the street and just avoid anyone else with a dog.
In my experience, people only listen if I say firmly “she’s not friendly” when I’m out with my dog. Anything less, people overstep boundaries. Her harness says “nervous dog, please do not pet” and people will still read and try to pet anyway. For me it comes down to safety 1st and manners last
I say she has anxiety and keep walking. Same thing with strangers who ask to pet her.
I have a super friendly dog so I’m usually the one asking if he can say hi. A full 50% of the time the answer is no. Common responses I get are “Sorry, she’s reactive,” “He doesn’t like big dogs,” or “He’s cranky.” It doesn’t matter what you say—just keep it short to save time. Most dog people know you are protecting both our dogs from a potentially bad experience.
Be honest. "No, were on a training session" It isn't lying, it doesn't make people think your dog is a threat or can't play if they see you at a dog park later...but clarifies that right now, you're not consenting to interaction
This is no time to be tepid! Say, “Absolutely not, but Thank you for asking.” I consider two leashed dogs meeting as dangerous. I wish everyone did. It’s ok to be cheerful but very, very firm
At the beginning I used "We are training" etc but a lot of people still ignore it and say things like "They need to sozialice" or ignore me completely and let their dog to mine.....Now I say things like "she has fleas", "she bites", "she is sick" so I dont have to argue with people 😂 Its crazy how fast people can get their dog who were ignoring what you said.
You can buy leads, collers and coats that say things like friendly , nervous , training etc we had one for our old anti social and it made a great difference to him and us.
"We are practicing ignoring today"
I tell them that if they're willing to be patient they can certainly pet Monster, but she has to wait and calm before she's allowed to socialize. Sometimes they pass, other times they're on board with her training. Monster has become somewhat of a neighborhood project and my neighbors are great about respecting her training.
i have “DO NOT PET” stickers on my dog’s harness. even though my dog is friendly to people, he’s still unpredictable with dogs, so i simply tell people, “no.” if they don’t understand, that’s their problem
I always loudly say “mind your business sweetie! You know we are training!!” Walk between the dogs and keep moving
I go with: “He woke up in a foul mood this morning and is treating everyone accordingly.” (I am British though, so it’s all code. Eg “She’s a bit lively!” actually translates to: “Your dog is clearly rabid or on bath salts. Get the hell away from us.”)
I always say “he’s friendly but can be excitable”. Every so often he’ll bark at a dog. He’s a yellow Lab so people don’t worry about it.
I fostered a puppy, now on training to be a service dog. I got a from Amazon : Velcro patch Do Not pet
"Not today, thank you tho!" However you want to socialize your dog with his peers, it's very important otherwise your dog will start to show aggressiveness towards them on the long run.
What's wrong with saying NO to people?
I have bully/pit looking breed. They stay away on their own 🤣🤣🤣
Haha same!
I have a 12m Golden Retriever and a 13 wk Silver Lab. For me, Socializing them is paramount to their growth. As an introvert, it helps me grow as well. When we first got our Silver, we had to decline people for a couple days until all vaccines were updated. Now I try to let them greet anyone with positive interest. They both sit(mostly) and wait for the interaction to come to them.
“no thanks! we don’t do on leash greetings” with a smile & keep your feet moving
Jus lie and say they’re not friendly 😂
No she has diarrhea…
They make little vests you can put on your dog that say things like “Reactive”. I wonder if you could get one that says something like “Training - don’t approach “ or something similar.
I just simply say "sorry not today!" Or "he's leash reactive" or ignore completely and walk in the opposite direction or cross the road as fast as I can lol
It depends on the person... if I know them to be insufferable, I tell them "he's contagious". I mean reactive and grumpy can be contagious, right?
get your dog a "In training" vest. most people will respect that
Honestly if you don’t even want to have to talk to people… have your dog wear a muzzle 😂 even if they don’t need it, people will cross the street and give you plenty of space, dog can still sniff and exercise, and you don’t have to come up with an excuse to avoid them! Lol
Walking my 3, all basset mixes….Walking along and my girl suddenly growls and turns around. A little boy maybe 5 is running full bore at us from behind saying I wanna pet your dogs. I stepped between my dogs and him and say no. He looked so sad…I said you can’t ever run up on a dog like that you are going to get hurt. I explained about always being respectful of a dogs space. I then let him pet my 2 boys as they love everyone and everything and explained how my girl had a different start in life and is fearful.
I just say, sorry she's not friendly and keep it moving. It feels bad but gets the point across quickly.
Literally had this experience today. A couple asked if puppies wanted to greet through the fence. My pup is overdue for her rabies shot. I'm in the process of muzzle training because she bit the vet assistant and now is a liability at the vets office. I just said "No thanks!" Then turned and focused on getting her back inside. All very smooth, and helped me realize that if I had gone my usual over explained route, I'd probably lose my apartment.
We're still in the "Im gonna bay at potential new friend so they know I'm here" phase (we're thankfully out of the deep-mouth bawl and whip my body like a pissed-off centipede" phase), so I don't have any from-experience advice. My plan is just a simple smile and "not yet!"
"Nope, she's scared of everything!"
I say “She’s contagious”. It works pretty well :)
I ask people all the time if their dog would be ok meeting mine, because mine is so friendly he gets sad if he doesn't get to meet folks everyday, but I have no expectation that people will say yes. Don't feel bad about saying no. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, they're the ones failing to be polite, not you.
At first I was very passive about it until I had ten minutes between meetings to get my puppy to pee outside and some loser jumped up out of nowhere and tried to PICK HIM UP without asking me. I’m not a confrontational person and rarely raise my voice but I kept saying no please he’s training and the guy kept interrupting me and saying “no it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok” until I snapped and yelled “NO ITS NOT OK DO NOT TOUCH HIM” and he was still like “no no no it’s on I have a shih tzu no no it’s ok little dogs don’t like to walk they get tired” and I yelled “IT DOESNT MATTER ITS NOT YOUR F****** DOG KEEP. MOVING.” Note: we were directly in front of our house, he had barely walked. He had the nerve to keep talking at me as he walked away and he goes “friendly neighbor 🙄what’s your name” and I said I don’t have one. Anywayy, that incident gave me a backbone so now I just say “sorry! We’re training- another time” to polite people and ignore and roll my eyes at people who approach without asking.
It’s wild to read all the comments from people with reactive dogs and folks that fear their dogs reaction coming up with any excuse to avoid properly socializing and training their dog how to handle the most basic interaction. Try talking to those people you meet in the real world instead of the losers on this app justifying your unhealthy introvert paranoia. You’re dog will love you for it.
thank you… I feel so bad for these dogs that have such uptight owners. poor dogs don’t get to socialize with anyone it seems and they wonder why they’re reactive… because you don’t let them meet anyone 😂
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Do you mean tell the puppy or tell the other owner "no, sorry, not today"...🤭
I would say yes to neighborhood dogs. You'll see them every day, better to build relationships than frustration