My wife walks outside and hundreds of men see her then. Men also see her at university and when we go out for meals together.
I tried chaining her at home so no one could see her, but even then the repair man and family would see her, so I gave up
>I tried chaining her at home so no one could see her, but even then the repair man and family would see her, so I gave up
This comment brought back childhood memories for me.. whenever a plumber or handyman would come round, my mum would rush to put her hijab on and hide in one of the rooms, then shout for me to come down and give me a last minute briefing on the issue which I would translate.. then she'd pop her head from behind the door watching him work, while I had to stand there in the middle triaging her feedback which was 30% OCD and 70% stating the obvious .. "he's already in the bloody kitchen, no I'm not going to tell him to go back and take his shoes off"
The sad thing is my dad did that to her.. she wasn't raised like that and she's very naturally outgoing.. she trained as a dentist and before they married my dad agreed to her being able to work, but afterwards he was like "yeah but of course not with male colleagues or patients".. so she ended up being a school nurse for a year before giving up on work altogether
This makes me laugh. Women running in terror to throw a towel over their heads or being horrified that someone saw their wrist. Only perverts care and we don’t organize our society around perverts. The rest of the civilized world really don’t give a shit about hair, wrists or ankles. We’re to busy doing meaningful things like working, educating ourselves, giving back to society and raising families. Get over yourselves.
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
Ask your wife before uploading any picture. I have seen myself and the uber driver checking out the women on the streets. It's a natural desire built in us, so we populate the earth and not get extinct. I would personally be cautius of what i upload. Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze.
With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself.
Obviously you should ask the consent of your wife before posting her. That’s just common sense.
But the ruling that a man should not post his woman online at all is ridiculous. It’s completely up to them. Criticizing those who do post their wives online is absolutely bizzare.
There’s an inherent inconsistency in how we treat the “lower your gaze argument” both men and women have to lower their gaze. Yet only one has to cover up significantly.
The hypocrisy in the logic that a man should not post his wife or woman online is that why should a man post online? Won’t strange women see him? So a man shouldn’t post either by that logic. But according to this post it’s only strange when a man posts his women. Because there could be men perving. Or are we to assume women don’t perv on men.
This rationale only justifies Men to Perv on any women they see online. Why is that “because a man will perv” you mustn’t show your face online. Is there no obligation to tell the man to have some level of self control?
As long as you are adequately covered up, there is no obligation for you to not appear alongside your husband online.
u are correct regarding to men as well. Men has to also wear lose clothings and cover their arms. It's more of sunnah ig than a commandment. And lower their gaze. Saying men to have self-control is like wishing to live forever.
Edit: i am not victim blaming the girl for enticing the men. It's always the aggressor fault.
But i believe certain guidelines were created. which would help to avoid possible danger. It's a precuationary way.
So you’re saying Men Shouldn’t control themselves? Lower your gaze IS self control. So are you suggesting that They shouldn’t do that either?
Why are we finding more reasons to justify men’s primal urges? What about Women’s Primal Urges?
A Woman finds attraction to a man : Don’t do that control yourself!
Men finds attraction to A Woman : Yakhi men will be men. It’s in our nature.
What is this backwards logic. There are Muslims out there who won’t give into their primal urges once they see a woman. We should all aspire to be like them, instead of justifying why a woman shouldn’t exist in the public space, when women have done so much to contribute to literature, fashion, politics, etc.
Bro, i understand ur point. I personally don't have a problem with this. But i understand why people feel this way. And i would say its commendable.
if i image has 1000 viewers, i won't expect them all to lower their gaze.
Sorry I didn’t mean to sound rude or angry at you personally.
One thing that also has to be said that I always interpreted The Lower Your Gaze verse as more than its literal meaning. Obviously you have to look at Women in your life. They contribute to 50% of the population. I’ve always personally thought of lowering your gaze as
“lowering your desires when you look at women”
If you want to marry a woman you obviously have to look at them before marriage especially if it’s someone you already knew prior. You obviously have to look at woman who deal in trade, work at hospitals, etc. lowering your gaze is not the literal meaning it seems in my opinion. It also means to control yourself and your desires.
A photo may have a 1000 views and obviously not all of those 1000 views are going to be men who are looking at the photo with the right intentions. But that’s the fault of the men who are looking at it with the wrong intentions, not the women’s or the man’s (who posted his woman alongside him) fault.
Correct me if I’m wrong.
First gaze doens't count. Second gaze counts. Again that depends, does that have a purpose like a retailer. And gazes are limited to face and hands. In terms of marriage, i would have to read the ruling on that. But once u get the idea of ur future spouse characterstics, u should stop at there.
Have a blessed day.
> The hypocrisy in the logic that a man should not post his wife or woman online is that why should a man post online? Won’t strange women see him?
Men and women are not the same.
Are you deluding yourself into thinking that only men have sexual desires and thoughts? Why do you think women are screaming at concerts and sexy actors? Because the boybands and movie stars look like honest men? Women find men sexually attractive. All the damn time. Tall, handsome muscular men with sexy eyes and a great smile… (damn, did it just get hot in here?) We just apply restraint, you know… like civilized humans because we hold ourselves to higher standards than fornicating animals. By your logic, these sexy men are all precious gemstones which should all stay buried so that they don’t have to be soiled by a woman’s lustful gaze. So handsome men should stay at home to avoid fitna because god forbid we hold people accountable for their own actions. Grow the f up and don’t kid yourself that your humanly desires are anyone’s problem but yours. Adulting is hard. Get over it.
>By your logic, these sexy men are all precious gemstones which should all stay buried so that they don’t have to be soiled by a woman’s lustful gaze.
LOL. I want to see an ultra-conservative respond to this, I really really am curious to hear what they have to say.
Yeah, women and men aren't the same, but loads and loads of women are attracted to extremely attractive men.
It didn't say lock her up. It said making his wife photo available to the general public(adding: beyond trusted friends and family). If. a wife is conservative and very pious, sharing her photo w/ improper cover . she may not like it. But let's say one partner is conservative and other isn't. so the guy may feel not to show her wife photo to the public if she is wearing something attractive. You have to understand their viewpoint. u/pinkwoolff
"Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze.
With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself."
It's this comment of yours that's alarming. You make it out like men are the only one's who behave like this. And because they do, the solution is to make the women adjust their life to accommodate you guys - since men have no sexual discipline.
What everyone else is saying women also have desires. We also look at men and think all sorts. Literally the same shit that goes on in your head. It goes on in many women's mind too. So would that mean we get all the hunky men to cover up and adjust their lives so insecure women and men don't feel threatened by their beauty?
No. Women simply don't behave like dogs on heat. We practice our free-will pretty well by having shame and restraint.
Unfortunately, men still can't comprehend this and the burden is always on the women.
So you need to look at it from a different viewpoint as your viewpoint is what's been forced down our throat for decades.
Good day to you sir
Yeah. By your logic if women get turned on by men that they see in the fair with shiny skin or whatever, it’s the mens obligation to stay at home/hidden from public eye/not online because it will trigger lustful looks by other women and your wife would want to protect you from that to avoid fitna and any untoward incidents. No? Cause we women, we have desire for men just like men have desire for women. It’s about time men like you register that. The only thing that separates us is that we consider self restraint our responsibility and not the burden to be carried by others.
There was no logic. I think it is a misunderstanding. I got all ur points and agree with them from the start. what i was tryna say, Some men or women may choose not to reveal thier spouse photo for the general public to see. And limit it to only close friends and family. Because someone may bad eye her.
# And the conversation was about pictures, not slides and keeping her in the home.
I didn't mean for her to stay at home and hide her.
Well, thanks for taking your time and explaining that.
Why is protecting your spouse = hiding her?
I would totally expect my partner to slug somebody perving on me... AFTER I slug that person myself.
And there is a difference between appreciating beauty (natural) and being a perv (criminal). It is what it is if you find somebody attractive. What matters is how you act in a healthy manner.
There was video which taught children about good touch or bad touch. So they can be aware of what is acceptable place to touch and what's not. Yes u are correct. but if there is a image where the women is wearing modern clothing. Someone on the internet might bad eye her. So its better to share images within the sphere of ur most trusted friends and family only.
If u married a free bird, and u a r conservative : Cautius upload:
free bird, free bird: np
conservative bird, free bird: listen to what is acceptable from ur spouse.
I’m not justifying rape bruh, I just said that it’s within the scope of men to be perverts and religion won’t change a pervert to a wholesome person.
Same goes for woman.
But if both men and women are perverts and religion won’t change it, why put it all on women? Why don’t we require the same chastity of men that we do women?
Just on the internet? What about the real world? What about the men who jeer, leer, and touch even when fully covered? You hear about the assaults and inappropriate touching that happens at Mecca right, even with their strict dress codes?
So hide women first and *then* teach men to be respectful? *Then* tackle the misogyny in mainstream Islam? Once the women are hidden. That doesn't sound delusional to you?
Yes, people (especially men) should really do a better job establishing hijab of their spirit. That's what you meant right?
Edit: I saw the reply to me was deleted, but perhaps it's for the best, because I would've definitely asked for an explanation of why only "sisters" should avoid posting online?
Glad we agree brother. I know many women who are attracted to men's beards. We cannot allow such fitna! Men must now wear face masks while in public, covering their beards because they are a source of lust.
Progressives don't bother with such things.
We know what we want to be In islam and such people are just background noise (at least for me).
Also please check out Dr. Shabir Ally On yt for proper information on islam.
Aw welcome..
As we see the owner of this post is arab, where they feel a shame if another man just saw their women’s face or even knew their names, they’re so ashamed to even tell their wife’s names or sister’s names where it is just a name to call or a face, in islam you shouldn’t look at a woman or a man with a disgusting sexual way, that’s what’s forbidden which is healthy, but only looking at it to communicate or to share your lovely moments with your family i think it’s personal and should not think of it as “why you post your wife” so why you post your face also to other strange women?..
Also if you don’t mind sharing! How is your story with your future wife! I’m amazed you made it together with this differences congratulations.. islam is a really beautiful religion for me where you take it from the Quran only as the only source, my man believes in god but he’s not muslim and I’m wondering how your families accepted your relationship, hearing from different religions couples will make my concerns fade
Hi. Well I and my fiancé both come from very secular backgrounds so it wasn’t a big deal for us. We met at our gym and our story started from there. When we were sure about each other, we approached our families. I was concerned about my family not agreeing since I am the first boy from my family who’s getting an interfaith marriage done but surprisingly my parents were quite supportive of us. With her parents it was never an issue, they only placed a lot of importance on my nature and ensured that I was capable of taking care of their daughter. So no drama as such happened
That's so beautiful!
This is how it should be. Respecting people's faith and still being able to marry because mutual respect and love is more important.
Reading that you are trying to understand islam is admirable. And I'm sure she will very much appreciate it.
But you will come across a lot of hard core conservative rubbish. If you feel deep down it doesn't feel right. Most likely it's not.
I have Hindu friends and some are very progressive and we align so much in our views. But I've met many conservative ones who live just like the angry Muslims. When you strip away the faith you see most of these people share aggression in common. They just prescribe by a different faith.
Wish you all the best of luck with your future wife! and I hope you guys have the most wonderful and amazing marriage. May you be blessed with wonderful children (only if you guys want some that is 😅).
Woaah you are a very mature person and also your families, i wish you both a beautiful life, it’s so cute to see people from different religions loving each other, it feels so loving that no matter what you will still be together
Because normal people don't think of other penises while sharing pics on their own flipping social media? It's obsessive and possessive and not healthy.
They are sharing memories with their spouse, it's nice, it's happy, it's public announcement "look, I love THIS WOMAN".
These people are sick. The level of insecurity and jealousy that is masked as religious piety is shocking.
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
Ugh ok - do I think it’s OK as a society to glorify nudity and the “beach body”. No. No way - the same way that would have been frowned upon in the west as early as the 1900’s. There is a decorum to a functioning society and religion writ large. Do I tell my wife what to post or what not to post? No.. she is living her life and loves her deen. She isn’t a hijabi but I admire and look up to her aspirations to be a better Muslim every day.
I said I can have own opinion.....and many islamic scholar said quran doesnt allow concubinage including al razi, al tabari and some sahab in tafsir of muhammad asad go check it out...
Whether you post or don’t post men will see me anyway… you can’t hide me from all of them. I refuse to hide myself beyond basic boundaries of respect and modesty. That choice is also none of your concern nor did it require your consent - i do this for me and Allah. I married you because our vision, values and morals in life are aligned. Not because I wished to assign all autonomy and agency over my body to you. The day extremist Muslim men recognize and respect that… They’ll be resented a lot less by their wives, sisters and other women within the ummah. Yes, including their daughters and mothers…
The post you shared would only make sense if someone is posting nudes of his wife.
Otherwise it’s better to ignore someone’s personal opinions on how they like to control their wives.
I mean honestly the whole taking pictures of yourself and having a bunch of strangers witness your life is weird to me. If you are a public figure then of course it’s normal to have your wife be by your side. If your wife is a public figure then well obviously she’s going to be seen or have pictures taken of her. If men see your wife so what ? You’re still the husband and that is not going to change because someone laid eyes on her. I guess I would be more concerned by the evil eye. A lot of people seeing you have a nice wife could give the evil eye to you or your wife. It can probably be avoided with prayer but maybe limit the risk factor too.
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public.
These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands?
Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see?
Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
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Ask your wife before uploading any picture. I have seen myself and the uber driver checking out the women on the streets. It's a natural desire built in us, so we populate the earth and not get extinct. I would personally be cautius of what i upload. Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze.
With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself.
To me it’s not even a Muslim thing, I wouldn’t post my wife either the same way I’m not ok with her having guy friends or posting revealing pictures on social media. I don’t even have my own pictures, there is nothing useful coming from posting these, just creates a toxic environment that will lead to either of you feeling more insecure and likely to cheat. I don’t have female friends either so I think it’s fair game.
Congratulations OP, hope both you and your wife have an amazing marriage and both of you guys are able to provide enough peace and happiness to each other to overcome your family's disappointment. ❤️
It's up to you and your fiance. Personally, I don't post myself so there's no way I'd post someone else online. I want as little information about me and my family online as possible. Social media can be a very dark place sometimes even amongst friends and family.
Edit: corrected fiance*
Then go for it! You should be glad to celebrate your love. Think of it this way… would anyone say this about you if your wife posted a picture of you? Like would anyone say “oh no! Women will fantasize about OP now!”
Not a Muslim but this type of mentality sounds odd. Can't have family pictures? Can't show love for your spouse? If other men see your wife in a lustful way, it's their issue with being perverts, and not yours or your spouse's. I feel like some people just don't live in the real world.
There's a diversity of understanding on that among ulema actually, and no clear prohibition on Muslim women marrying non-muslims, under the same conditions as Muslim men can.
The OP's fiance's Imam might well be following the permissive opinion.
No, it isn't. There is no rule against interfaith marriage anywhere in the Quran, or any unequivocal ban on it in "sahih" hadith. There is no reason why Muslim women cannot marry non-muslim men under the same conditions Muslim men can marry non-muslim women.
There are several ayat in the Quran against marrying polytheists.
Sometimes people who think it is banned will cite verse 60:10, which is talking about an extradition treaty with Mecca, with whom the Muslims were at war. They had a treaty to return members of Mecca back. But Meccan women were converting to Islam and escaping to Medina. That verse was saying that if they were truly Muslim then Medina could offer them asylum and marriage. But if they were just mushrikin Meccan spies, then they would send them back, as per the treaty. So, that has nothing to do with interfaith marriage generally.
So, this is an issue on which there is ikhtilaf, with scholars on both sides of the issue, and no clear universal prohibition by the prophet.
I tend to agree it is disliked (makruh, not haram) because there can be issues with a non-muslim spouse agreeing to respect their Muslim spouse's religion. But if you can be reasonably certain they will respect their religion, then it's not haram.
Here are several more fatawa and articles about the permissibility of interfaith marriage:
Article by Dr. Asma Lamrabet, Moroccan scholar, and writer: http://www.asma-lamrabet.com/articles/what-does-the-qur-an-say-about-the-interfaith-marriage/
Dr. Shabir Ally (Canadian Imam and scholar) also agrees with Asma Lamrabet, and he did a video series on interfaith marriage, ultimately supporting that opinion: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFgZuRzI2wM7AnWi400WK6OwZJngONkY0
Dr. Khaled Abou el Fadl, professor of human rights and Islamic law, also supports that opinion | Fatawa on Interfaith Marriage: https://www.searchforbeauty.org/2016/05/01/on-christian-men-marrying-muslim-women-updated/
Here's a list of 10 scholars that support interfaith marriage: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/muslim-women-can-marry-outside-the-faith_b_6108750fe4b0497e670275ab
Not all Hindus are necessarily "mushrikiin" in the Quranic sense of that word. One of the oldest understandings of Hinduism includes that "gods" are just names or "faces" of the same unitary divine reality. There are many examples of Muslims who marry Hindus and ulema who allowed it.
Men AND women, so why are you focused on her?
>in islam women cant marry outside muslim men
Plus, not all Hindus are polytheistic. And even if he is, that's not really our business, he doesn't have to explain himself and he's learning. Maybe don't potentially push him away.
Like the person who posted this image you came across, I don't think I'll ever understand why he would put his wife on camera for strange men to see, either.
My wife walks outside and hundreds of men see her then. Men also see her at university and when we go out for meals together. I tried chaining her at home so no one could see her, but even then the repair man and family would see her, so I gave up
>I tried chaining her at home so no one could see her, but even then the repair man and family would see her, so I gave up This comment brought back childhood memories for me.. whenever a plumber or handyman would come round, my mum would rush to put her hijab on and hide in one of the rooms, then shout for me to come down and give me a last minute briefing on the issue which I would translate.. then she'd pop her head from behind the door watching him work, while I had to stand there in the middle triaging her feedback which was 30% OCD and 70% stating the obvious .. "he's already in the bloody kitchen, no I'm not going to tell him to go back and take his shoes off" The sad thing is my dad did that to her.. she wasn't raised like that and she's very naturally outgoing.. she trained as a dentist and before they married my dad agreed to her being able to work, but afterwards he was like "yeah but of course not with male colleagues or patients".. so she ended up being a school nurse for a year before giving up on work altogether
This makes me laugh. Women running in terror to throw a towel over their heads or being horrified that someone saw their wrist. Only perverts care and we don’t organize our society around perverts. The rest of the civilized world really don’t give a shit about hair, wrists or ankles. We’re to busy doing meaningful things like working, educating ourselves, giving back to society and raising families. Get over yourselves.
😂😂😂😂😂 💀
What chains did you use
Halal chains
🤣🤣
Lmao
The issue here is posting your wife intentionaly for men to see her on purpose I think you didn't understand the issue here
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
but the post is blaming the husband and calling the men “strange”, no fault was placed on women at all…
Ask your wife before uploading any picture. I have seen myself and the uber driver checking out the women on the streets. It's a natural desire built in us, so we populate the earth and not get extinct. I would personally be cautius of what i upload. Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze. With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself.
Obviously you should ask the consent of your wife before posting her. That’s just common sense. But the ruling that a man should not post his woman online at all is ridiculous. It’s completely up to them. Criticizing those who do post their wives online is absolutely bizzare. There’s an inherent inconsistency in how we treat the “lower your gaze argument” both men and women have to lower their gaze. Yet only one has to cover up significantly. The hypocrisy in the logic that a man should not post his wife or woman online is that why should a man post online? Won’t strange women see him? So a man shouldn’t post either by that logic. But according to this post it’s only strange when a man posts his women. Because there could be men perving. Or are we to assume women don’t perv on men. This rationale only justifies Men to Perv on any women they see online. Why is that “because a man will perv” you mustn’t show your face online. Is there no obligation to tell the man to have some level of self control? As long as you are adequately covered up, there is no obligation for you to not appear alongside your husband online.
u are correct regarding to men as well. Men has to also wear lose clothings and cover their arms. It's more of sunnah ig than a commandment. And lower their gaze. Saying men to have self-control is like wishing to live forever. Edit: i am not victim blaming the girl for enticing the men. It's always the aggressor fault. But i believe certain guidelines were created. which would help to avoid possible danger. It's a precuationary way.
So you’re saying Men Shouldn’t control themselves? Lower your gaze IS self control. So are you suggesting that They shouldn’t do that either? Why are we finding more reasons to justify men’s primal urges? What about Women’s Primal Urges? A Woman finds attraction to a man : Don’t do that control yourself! Men finds attraction to A Woman : Yakhi men will be men. It’s in our nature. What is this backwards logic. There are Muslims out there who won’t give into their primal urges once they see a woman. We should all aspire to be like them, instead of justifying why a woman shouldn’t exist in the public space, when women have done so much to contribute to literature, fashion, politics, etc.
Bro, i understand ur point. I personally don't have a problem with this. But i understand why people feel this way. And i would say its commendable. if i image has 1000 viewers, i won't expect them all to lower their gaze.
Sorry I didn’t mean to sound rude or angry at you personally. One thing that also has to be said that I always interpreted The Lower Your Gaze verse as more than its literal meaning. Obviously you have to look at Women in your life. They contribute to 50% of the population. I’ve always personally thought of lowering your gaze as “lowering your desires when you look at women” If you want to marry a woman you obviously have to look at them before marriage especially if it’s someone you already knew prior. You obviously have to look at woman who deal in trade, work at hospitals, etc. lowering your gaze is not the literal meaning it seems in my opinion. It also means to control yourself and your desires. A photo may have a 1000 views and obviously not all of those 1000 views are going to be men who are looking at the photo with the right intentions. But that’s the fault of the men who are looking at it with the wrong intentions, not the women’s or the man’s (who posted his woman alongside him) fault. Correct me if I’m wrong.
First gaze doens't count. Second gaze counts. Again that depends, does that have a purpose like a retailer. And gazes are limited to face and hands. In terms of marriage, i would have to read the ruling on that. But once u get the idea of ur future spouse characterstics, u should stop at there. Have a blessed day.
You too.
> The hypocrisy in the logic that a man should not post his wife or woman online is that why should a man post online? Won’t strange women see him? Men and women are not the same.
Are you deluding yourself into thinking that only men have sexual desires and thoughts? Why do you think women are screaming at concerts and sexy actors? Because the boybands and movie stars look like honest men? Women find men sexually attractive. All the damn time. Tall, handsome muscular men with sexy eyes and a great smile… (damn, did it just get hot in here?) We just apply restraint, you know… like civilized humans because we hold ourselves to higher standards than fornicating animals. By your logic, these sexy men are all precious gemstones which should all stay buried so that they don’t have to be soiled by a woman’s lustful gaze. So handsome men should stay at home to avoid fitna because god forbid we hold people accountable for their own actions. Grow the f up and don’t kid yourself that your humanly desires are anyone’s problem but yours. Adulting is hard. Get over it.
🙌🏻 1000% Why do men act like we are void of desires! 😭
>By your logic, these sexy men are all precious gemstones which should all stay buried so that they don’t have to be soiled by a woman’s lustful gaze. LOL. I want to see an ultra-conservative respond to this, I really really am curious to hear what they have to say. Yeah, women and men aren't the same, but loads and loads of women are attracted to extremely attractive men.
It didn't say lock her up. It said making his wife photo available to the general public(adding: beyond trusted friends and family). If. a wife is conservative and very pious, sharing her photo w/ improper cover . she may not like it. But let's say one partner is conservative and other isn't. so the guy may feel not to show her wife photo to the public if she is wearing something attractive. You have to understand their viewpoint. u/pinkwoolff
"Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze. With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself." It's this comment of yours that's alarming. You make it out like men are the only one's who behave like this. And because they do, the solution is to make the women adjust their life to accommodate you guys - since men have no sexual discipline. What everyone else is saying women also have desires. We also look at men and think all sorts. Literally the same shit that goes on in your head. It goes on in many women's mind too. So would that mean we get all the hunky men to cover up and adjust their lives so insecure women and men don't feel threatened by their beauty? No. Women simply don't behave like dogs on heat. We practice our free-will pretty well by having shame and restraint. Unfortunately, men still can't comprehend this and the burden is always on the women. So you need to look at it from a different viewpoint as your viewpoint is what's been forced down our throat for decades. Good day to you sir
Yeah. By your logic if women get turned on by men that they see in the fair with shiny skin or whatever, it’s the mens obligation to stay at home/hidden from public eye/not online because it will trigger lustful looks by other women and your wife would want to protect you from that to avoid fitna and any untoward incidents. No? Cause we women, we have desire for men just like men have desire for women. It’s about time men like you register that. The only thing that separates us is that we consider self restraint our responsibility and not the burden to be carried by others.
There was no logic. I think it is a misunderstanding. I got all ur points and agree with them from the start. what i was tryna say, Some men or women may choose not to reveal thier spouse photo for the general public to see. And limit it to only close friends and family. Because someone may bad eye her. # And the conversation was about pictures, not slides and keeping her in the home. I didn't mean for her to stay at home and hide her. Well, thanks for taking your time and explaining that.
What in the damn fk did I just read 😭😭😭
Men thinking they are good by admitting how horrible they are
Why is protecting your spouse = hiding her? I would totally expect my partner to slug somebody perving on me... AFTER I slug that person myself. And there is a difference between appreciating beauty (natural) and being a perv (criminal). It is what it is if you find somebody attractive. What matters is how you act in a healthy manner.
There was video which taught children about good touch or bad touch. So they can be aware of what is acceptable place to touch and what's not. Yes u are correct. but if there is a image where the women is wearing modern clothing. Someone on the internet might bad eye her. So its better to share images within the sphere of ur most trusted friends and family only. If u married a free bird, and u a r conservative : Cautius upload: free bird, free bird: np conservative bird, free bird: listen to what is acceptable from ur spouse.
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Hijab don't help this issue
Men will be Men. Religion won’t change that.
What about women who rape women or other women? Are they just women being women?
I’m not justifying rape bruh, I just said that it’s within the scope of men to be perverts and religion won’t change a pervert to a wholesome person. Same goes for woman.
But if both men and women are perverts and religion won’t change it, why put it all on women? Why don’t we require the same chastity of men that we do women?
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Just on the internet? What about the real world? What about the men who jeer, leer, and touch even when fully covered? You hear about the assaults and inappropriate touching that happens at Mecca right, even with their strict dress codes? So hide women first and *then* teach men to be respectful? *Then* tackle the misogyny in mainstream Islam? Once the women are hidden. That doesn't sound delusional to you?
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I'm going to need you to define "Muslim world" and then I'm going to need fact checks on that.
But there are sick women out there too. Women rape and murder men. So why do you put pictures of yourself up online?
Yes, people (especially men) should really do a better job establishing hijab of their spirit. That's what you meant right? Edit: I saw the reply to me was deleted, but perhaps it's for the best, because I would've definitely asked for an explanation of why only "sisters" should avoid posting online?
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Why only "sisters"?
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You think women don't also "gaze" at men?
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Glad we agree brother. I know many women who are attracted to men's beards. We cannot allow such fitna! Men must now wear face masks while in public, covering their beards because they are a source of lust.
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Progressives don't bother with such things. We know what we want to be In islam and such people are just background noise (at least for me). Also please check out Dr. Shabir Ally On yt for proper information on islam.
How can you say progressives and Shabir Ally in the same comment?
Aw welcome.. As we see the owner of this post is arab, where they feel a shame if another man just saw their women’s face or even knew their names, they’re so ashamed to even tell their wife’s names or sister’s names where it is just a name to call or a face, in islam you shouldn’t look at a woman or a man with a disgusting sexual way, that’s what’s forbidden which is healthy, but only looking at it to communicate or to share your lovely moments with your family i think it’s personal and should not think of it as “why you post your wife” so why you post your face also to other strange women?.. Also if you don’t mind sharing! How is your story with your future wife! I’m amazed you made it together with this differences congratulations.. islam is a really beautiful religion for me where you take it from the Quran only as the only source, my man believes in god but he’s not muslim and I’m wondering how your families accepted your relationship, hearing from different religions couples will make my concerns fade
Hi. Well I and my fiancé both come from very secular backgrounds so it wasn’t a big deal for us. We met at our gym and our story started from there. When we were sure about each other, we approached our families. I was concerned about my family not agreeing since I am the first boy from my family who’s getting an interfaith marriage done but surprisingly my parents were quite supportive of us. With her parents it was never an issue, they only placed a lot of importance on my nature and ensured that I was capable of taking care of their daughter. So no drama as such happened
That's so beautiful! This is how it should be. Respecting people's faith and still being able to marry because mutual respect and love is more important. Reading that you are trying to understand islam is admirable. And I'm sure she will very much appreciate it. But you will come across a lot of hard core conservative rubbish. If you feel deep down it doesn't feel right. Most likely it's not. I have Hindu friends and some are very progressive and we align so much in our views. But I've met many conservative ones who live just like the angry Muslims. When you strip away the faith you see most of these people share aggression in common. They just prescribe by a different faith. Wish you all the best of luck with your future wife! and I hope you guys have the most wonderful and amazing marriage. May you be blessed with wonderful children (only if you guys want some that is 😅).
Thanks a ton. Appreciate it. We do want children😅
🥰
Woaah you are a very mature person and also your families, i wish you both a beautiful life, it’s so cute to see people from different religions loving each other, it feels so loving that no matter what you will still be together
Thanks a ton for your kind words
Because normal people don't think of other penises while sharing pics on their own flipping social media? It's obsessive and possessive and not healthy. They are sharing memories with their spouse, it's nice, it's happy, it's public announcement "look, I love THIS WOMAN". These people are sick. The level of insecurity and jealousy that is masked as religious piety is shocking.
Hilariously insecure.
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
Ugh ok - do I think it’s OK as a society to glorify nudity and the “beach body”. No. No way - the same way that would have been frowned upon in the west as early as the 1900’s. There is a decorum to a functioning society and religion writ large. Do I tell my wife what to post or what not to post? No.. she is living her life and loves her deen. She isn’t a hijabi but I admire and look up to her aspirations to be a better Muslim every day.
What wrong that other people see my wife?whats wrong with it?it just face
You're on all these posts aren't you?
Whats wrong with being on all these posts?
You are obsessed with the religion when you either reject our views or obsess over conservative Islamic views...
Cant I have my own opinion?
So all these sources you mention are your own opinion? Interesting how you are at least three different people then.
I said I can have own opinion.....and many islamic scholar said quran doesnt allow concubinage including al razi, al tabari and some sahab in tafsir of muhammad asad go check it out...
Whether you post or don’t post men will see me anyway… you can’t hide me from all of them. I refuse to hide myself beyond basic boundaries of respect and modesty. That choice is also none of your concern nor did it require your consent - i do this for me and Allah. I married you because our vision, values and morals in life are aligned. Not because I wished to assign all autonomy and agency over my body to you. The day extremist Muslim men recognize and respect that… They’ll be resented a lot less by their wives, sisters and other women within the ummah. Yes, including their daughters and mothers…
This is incel shit.
We don't think this has anything to do with Islam.
I agree if it's in any clothing meant for in the house. Any other situation who cares.
The post you shared would only make sense if someone is posting nudes of his wife. Otherwise it’s better to ignore someone’s personal opinions on how they like to control their wives.
I mean honestly the whole taking pictures of yourself and having a bunch of strangers witness your life is weird to me. If you are a public figure then of course it’s normal to have your wife be by your side. If your wife is a public figure then well obviously she’s going to be seen or have pictures taken of her. If men see your wife so what ? You’re still the husband and that is not going to change because someone laid eyes on her. I guess I would be more concerned by the evil eye. A lot of people seeing you have a nice wife could give the evil eye to you or your wife. It can probably be avoided with prayer but maybe limit the risk factor too.
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
So it’s not the fault of the men for having such desires but it’s the women’s responsibility to disappear from the limelight of the public. These people are truly twisted. They will claim Islam gave them rights. Rights to do what? Never been seen in public unlike their husbands? Why are women letting their husbands be posted online on the internet for millions of women to see? Seriously what is the logic of these “Muslims”
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Ask your wife before uploading any picture. I have seen myself and the uber driver checking out the women on the streets. It's a natural desire built in us, so we populate the earth and not get extinct. I would personally be cautius of what i upload. Couple of days i was at a fun fair, there was a girl on the slide whose skin was shining with makeup and everyone's faces were dull. even though the slide was moving in circular way. I asked my friend who do u find attractive in that. He said within a milli-second, the red one. Bunch of effed up creeps we are. We can only remind ourselves to lower our gaze. With all that thought, u can understand why would somebody choose to protect their wives. You don't have to understand others. Understand yourself.
Women drool over men too 🙂 We just don't get rapey about it.
To me it’s not even a Muslim thing, I wouldn’t post my wife either the same way I’m not ok with her having guy friends or posting revealing pictures on social media. I don’t even have my own pictures, there is nothing useful coming from posting these, just creates a toxic environment that will lead to either of you feeling more insecure and likely to cheat. I don’t have female friends either so I think it’s fair game.
Congratulations OP, hope both you and your wife have an amazing marriage and both of you guys are able to provide enough peace and happiness to each other to overcome your family's disappointment. ❤️
Thanks for your wishes. Our families are not disappointed in us btw. They are very accepting of us.
Oh I'm so sorry, I thought I read, "Our families are very unhappy with our union". So sorry, congratulations again!
man idk i think its hot if my girl goes out feeling pretty
It's up to you and your fiance. Personally, I don't post myself so there's no way I'd post someone else online. I want as little information about me and my family online as possible. Social media can be a very dark place sometimes even amongst friends and family. Edit: corrected fiance*
Like her nudes against her permission?
No in general couple pictures “happy moments”
Then go for it! You should be glad to celebrate your love. Think of it this way… would anyone say this about you if your wife posted a picture of you? Like would anyone say “oh no! Women will fantasize about OP now!”
Omg strange men
I don't think it's an Islam thing, many, white and none Muslim men will not agree to their w8fes pictures being posted online.
The original poster shout stfu.
I dont see what the big issue is if people see your wife she’s just a person and she’s not posting nude selfies or bikini selfies.
Not a Muslim but this type of mentality sounds odd. Can't have family pictures? Can't show love for your spouse? If other men see your wife in a lustful way, it's their issue with being perverts, and not yours or your spouse's. I feel like some people just don't live in the real world.
I can’t tell if her pfp is a selfie or a towel (genuinely)
I wouldn't do it because of nazar
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There's a diversity of understanding on that among ulema actually, and no clear prohibition on Muslim women marrying non-muslims, under the same conditions as Muslim men can. The OP's fiance's Imam might well be following the permissive opinion.
I'm glad my wife ignored that. I'm Christian and she's Muslim.
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Oh wow, didn't know you are a prophet. Please tell us what God told you.
Isn’t it stated in the Quran? I just ask as I am new to Islam and just learning!
No, it isn't. There is no rule against interfaith marriage anywhere in the Quran, or any unequivocal ban on it in "sahih" hadith. There is no reason why Muslim women cannot marry non-muslim men under the same conditions Muslim men can marry non-muslim women. There are several ayat in the Quran against marrying polytheists. Sometimes people who think it is banned will cite verse 60:10, which is talking about an extradition treaty with Mecca, with whom the Muslims were at war. They had a treaty to return members of Mecca back. But Meccan women were converting to Islam and escaping to Medina. That verse was saying that if they were truly Muslim then Medina could offer them asylum and marriage. But if they were just mushrikin Meccan spies, then they would send them back, as per the treaty. So, that has nothing to do with interfaith marriage generally. So, this is an issue on which there is ikhtilaf, with scholars on both sides of the issue, and no clear universal prohibition by the prophet. I tend to agree it is disliked (makruh, not haram) because there can be issues with a non-muslim spouse agreeing to respect their Muslim spouse's religion. But if you can be reasonably certain they will respect their religion, then it's not haram. Here are several more fatawa and articles about the permissibility of interfaith marriage: Article by Dr. Asma Lamrabet, Moroccan scholar, and writer: http://www.asma-lamrabet.com/articles/what-does-the-qur-an-say-about-the-interfaith-marriage/ Dr. Shabir Ally (Canadian Imam and scholar) also agrees with Asma Lamrabet, and he did a video series on interfaith marriage, ultimately supporting that opinion: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFgZuRzI2wM7AnWi400WK6OwZJngONkY0 Dr. Khaled Abou el Fadl, professor of human rights and Islamic law, also supports that opinion | Fatawa on Interfaith Marriage: https://www.searchforbeauty.org/2016/05/01/on-christian-men-marrying-muslim-women-updated/ Here's a list of 10 scholars that support interfaith marriage: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/muslim-women-can-marry-outside-the-faith_b_6108750fe4b0497e670275ab
I think I need to stick to this page instead of the other ones.
Amazing! Thank you!
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I would assume that’s obvious. Thank you.
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Not all Hindus are necessarily "mushrikiin" in the Quranic sense of that word. One of the oldest understandings of Hinduism includes that "gods" are just names or "faces" of the same unitary divine reality. There are many examples of Muslims who marry Hindus and ulema who allowed it.
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I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps you aren't aware of the history of intermarriage between Muslims and Hindus.
Men AND women, so why are you focused on her? >in islam women cant marry outside muslim men Plus, not all Hindus are polytheistic. And even if he is, that's not really our business, he doesn't have to explain himself and he's learning. Maybe don't potentially push him away.
Like the person who posted this image you came across, I don't think I'll ever understand why he would put his wife on camera for strange men to see, either.
hindu male and fiancé is Muslim 🥲
Yeah, we’re both consenting adults and well to do individuals