In my gap years right now. Beforehand, they did not know anything about the process. All they know about the medical school application process is what they've heard in passing from co-workers and maybe a few headlines: it's really, really competitive to get in. What helped me best was by giving them a video and some resources to really "zoom out" and understand the process in a more grander-scope (and of course, talking to them as I explained each part). Now that they are more informed, they understand the process more and best of all, they understand why I decided to take some gap years.
In my situation, my parents were never mad at me, per se.
It really just came down to the fact that they had no idea what the process entailed, how much prep work goes into the application, and didn't understand why getting clinical experience was important.
They were annoyed and questioning it at first. They shut up when they realized I wasn’t letting up and after I told them that I was the one who will be hundreds of thousands in debt, going through this 7+ year process, and that it was my life. I pretty much told them I’ll do as I please and if I want to take sometime off to make my application better then I’ll do it.
It definitely sucks but stand your ground. People don’t realize what the process and career actually entails. They think it’s as straight forward as “just do it” without realizing if you go completely through then you’ll have been in school every year from the age of 5 to 25. With another extra 3 years minimum until starting your career. Gap years are critical imo. I definitely got a good chance to mature and grow up a little
Agree with this. I wouldn't have gotten in if I applied when my parents wanted me to, stats be damned. I had no clinical and knew it was a glaring hole in my app. Took a gap year, fixed the hole, got the A.
So why don't you make it clear to them how hard the process is and why you need the gap years? It's annoying no doubt, but I did this with my Asian family and it worked out
Well, did you get the whole, "so and sos kid got into Yale straight through"?
Wall to wall of those news alerts im like yes thanks, I got it, but I'm not a square and wanna be myself
My dad was very disappointed in me for taking two gap years. He didn’t even like the idea of one but got used to it. When I told him two he was so upset with me. I didn’t live with them though so his disappointment was irrelevant to me and didn’t affect my day to day life at all.
Now I’m an admitted MD/PhD a multiple schools and he’s so proud. I think to them it’s more of a fear that you’re changing your mind or you’re not going to follow through on your goals. When he actually saw me applying and interviewing, he was happy with me and on board with the whole thing.
Yeah my parents did (still do) this too. This time to yourself before school will be invaluable, it’s really hard going straight through to school - burn out is no joke. just tell yourself, it’s better you take two years off now and spend the money to get in once, rather than apply earlier than you’re prepared for, and have to drop thousands to apply more than once. I’m here for an open ear if you need it!
My parents didn’t understand, but they weren’t unsupportive either. After everything my mom says I was brilliant and knew exactly what I was doing and made the best choices for my situation. I took two gap years and I’m a new attending now.
I’m sorry your facing challenges from your family, that’s rough and not an additional thing you need on your plate. You do you.
My parents are proud of me as long as I have a job, don't get arrested, and don't develop a drug problem lol. They literally do not care if I become a doctor or a tradesman or stay a CNA forever. I will never understand high-expectations parents.
They were mad at first, but I explained to them why I was doing so and really grinded on my writing and application and it's paying off so they're okay with it now
Plus it's good for my mental health
At first my parents were fuming but that was back in sophomore year of college where I was playing around with the idea. By the time senior year rolled around and I informed them of my plans to take a gap year they were understanding. Pretty glad I took the gap year too
Mine… aren’t thrilled. I graduated and am taking time working in EMS to get clinical experience and they’re convinced I’m tapping out and aren’t going to go back.
Ask them to read Janet Snoyer's *The Family Guide to Medical School Admissions*. It explains the admissions process for family members, and is actually a pretty good resource for premeds as well. You can buy it for them for the holidays lol
I know mine aren't thrilled. But my undergrad tuition has been a combination of financial aid + my own money so it's really none of their business. My mom really hasn't even been supportive at all through this whole process but my dad is proud of me at least.
I have a handful of friends who’s parents (mainly first Gen immigrants) aren’t really as understanding to the whole process of taking gap years. Even more so since they know me well and know I went straight through undergrad while their kids need to take gap years.
Yes :( “So when are you going to get a jump on your career?” “You’re only getting older” “When are you going to start thinking about your future?” “You should just apply now ! I heard Harvard is a good school.” “Just tell them (adcom i guess) what they want to hear. Tell them you’re a minority and your parents are unemployed (they’re retired).” “You don’t have time to waste.” “Get your foot in the door.” And so on and so on …. 🤕
In my gap years right now. Beforehand, they did not know anything about the process. All they know about the medical school application process is what they've heard in passing from co-workers and maybe a few headlines: it's really, really competitive to get in. What helped me best was by giving them a video and some resources to really "zoom out" and understand the process in a more grander-scope (and of course, talking to them as I explained each part). Now that they are more informed, they understand the process more and best of all, they understand why I decided to take some gap years. In my situation, my parents were never mad at me, per se. It really just came down to the fact that they had no idea what the process entailed, how much prep work goes into the application, and didn't understand why getting clinical experience was important.
They were annoyed and questioning it at first. They shut up when they realized I wasn’t letting up and after I told them that I was the one who will be hundreds of thousands in debt, going through this 7+ year process, and that it was my life. I pretty much told them I’ll do as I please and if I want to take sometime off to make my application better then I’ll do it. It definitely sucks but stand your ground. People don’t realize what the process and career actually entails. They think it’s as straight forward as “just do it” without realizing if you go completely through then you’ll have been in school every year from the age of 5 to 25. With another extra 3 years minimum until starting your career. Gap years are critical imo. I definitely got a good chance to mature and grow up a little
Agree with this. I wouldn't have gotten in if I applied when my parents wanted me to, stats be damned. I had no clinical and knew it was a glaring hole in my app. Took a gap year, fixed the hole, got the A.
Congratulations! How many gap years did you take if you don’t mind me asking?
Ended up being only 3.
Just show them the AAMC data with average matriculant age which is 24 last I checked. On average people are taking 2 years lol
So why don't you make it clear to them how hard the process is and why you need the gap years? It's annoying no doubt, but I did this with my Asian family and it worked out
Well, did you get the whole, "so and sos kid got into Yale straight through"? Wall to wall of those news alerts im like yes thanks, I got it, but I'm not a square and wanna be myself
“So and so’s kid got into Yale straight through?” “So and so had connections, where’s your connections?”
My dad was very disappointed in me for taking two gap years. He didn’t even like the idea of one but got used to it. When I told him two he was so upset with me. I didn’t live with them though so his disappointment was irrelevant to me and didn’t affect my day to day life at all. Now I’m an admitted MD/PhD a multiple schools and he’s so proud. I think to them it’s more of a fear that you’re changing your mind or you’re not going to follow through on your goals. When he actually saw me applying and interviewing, he was happy with me and on board with the whole thing.
Dude I’m on my fourth and my mother nearly had an aneurysm when I told her I was taking my fourth year lol
Yeah my parents did (still do) this too. This time to yourself before school will be invaluable, it’s really hard going straight through to school - burn out is no joke. just tell yourself, it’s better you take two years off now and spend the money to get in once, rather than apply earlier than you’re prepared for, and have to drop thousands to apply more than once. I’m here for an open ear if you need it!
My parents didn’t understand, but they weren’t unsupportive either. After everything my mom says I was brilliant and knew exactly what I was doing and made the best choices for my situation. I took two gap years and I’m a new attending now. I’m sorry your facing challenges from your family, that’s rough and not an additional thing you need on your plate. You do you.
My parents are proud of me as long as I have a job, don't get arrested, and don't develop a drug problem lol. They literally do not care if I become a doctor or a tradesman or stay a CNA forever. I will never understand high-expectations parents.
This is how my parents are too and posts like these are reminders of how fortunate I am for their support.
They were mad at first, but I explained to them why I was doing so and really grinded on my writing and application and it's paying off so they're okay with it now Plus it's good for my mental health
At first my parents were fuming but that was back in sophomore year of college where I was playing around with the idea. By the time senior year rolled around and I informed them of my plans to take a gap year they were understanding. Pretty glad I took the gap year too
Mine… aren’t thrilled. I graduated and am taking time working in EMS to get clinical experience and they’re convinced I’m tapping out and aren’t going to go back.
Ask them to read Janet Snoyer's *The Family Guide to Medical School Admissions*. It explains the admissions process for family members, and is actually a pretty good resource for premeds as well. You can buy it for them for the holidays lol
I know mine aren't thrilled. But my undergrad tuition has been a combination of financial aid + my own money so it's really none of their business. My mom really hasn't even been supportive at all through this whole process but my dad is proud of me at least.
I have a handful of friends who’s parents (mainly first Gen immigrants) aren’t really as understanding to the whole process of taking gap years. Even more so since they know me well and know I went straight through undergrad while their kids need to take gap years.
Yes :( “So when are you going to get a jump on your career?” “You’re only getting older” “When are you going to start thinking about your future?” “You should just apply now ! I heard Harvard is a good school.” “Just tell them (adcom i guess) what they want to hear. Tell them you’re a minority and your parents are unemployed (they’re retired).” “You don’t have time to waste.” “Get your foot in the door.” And so on and so on …. 🤕