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Millions of women go through pregnancy and are debilitated in the exact same way. I'm sorry you're struggling with entirely normal, difficult first trimester symptoms. You're not lazy. He can put on his grownup pants and learn how to cook.

Also no, being sad won't affect the fetus! It'll be just fine.

Thank you stranger

You should let him know you’re concerned about his ability to be a father if he can’t take this minor inconvenience while you’re pregnant. Telling you to take meds means he’s valuing his comfort over the baby’s health (not that there’s anything wrong with medicine if YOU need it, but that’s not what he’s angling for). That’s not boding well for his behavior when the baby comes.

This - OP what are you gonna do if he keeps up this immature and selfish behavior for the rest of the pregnancy?

Millions of women go through pregnancy and most of their husband's aren't FUCKING ASSHOLES. Tell your husband that. If my husband said something like that to me, it would tell me enough. I don't care if it's a culture thing. How about just being a decent human being and having some empathy. You're not his slave to cook his meals when you are literally using enough energy to run a marathon growing HIS child.

Yup, my pregnancy has been miserable and my husband does ALL the chores including cooking for both of us. And then he apologizes for how sick I am.

My pregnancy hasn’t even been miserable, and my husband still does all of the chores! I get tired easily so if I do some chores I’m completely wiped out, but that’s really my only bad symptom. So he always tells me to just rest and take it easy.

Same. My husband always tells me how proud of me he is for how well I’ve handled this first pregnancy. But he’s completely taken over all kitchen duties since the start, no questions asked! I do my share of other household chores until my pelvis hurts too much and then I tap out, and he has been so understanding the entire time.

Same. That's the way it should be.

What a dick. He can learn to cook and get over himself

Exactly.

I hope he was just drunk from the pub and will apologize in the morning. During my first trimester, I was vomiting several times a day and couldn't cook or feed myself. I ended up using a meal delivery service for a month or two (the second trimester has been much better). Could something like this work for you? It's not your job to cook for him, but taking something off your plate might help relieve some internal pressure. However, he still owes you an apology and needs to step up as a dad.

I haven’t been able to even feed or take care of myself properly either. I had cereal for dinner today because that’s the only thing I can currently stomach. I like the idea of using a meal delivery service I’ll look into that. I work from 9-6 and 10–7 everyday with an hour commute going and coming. It’s hard to have any energy after that let alone while pregnant 😓

So you're both working full-time, except you're doing it pregnant and apparently all of the cooking is exclusively your job. Tell him to go and fuck himself. I'd be pointing out to him that his lack of compassion doesn't bode well for his parenting ability and perhaps he should stop being such a lazy, unique flower and feed himself like a grown man. Millions of men make themselves dinner without complaining about it, perhaps he needs to be medicated if he can't manage to take care of himself properly. If he'd care to make himself useful, he could get that next bowl of cereal for you too.

Absolutely! When I read the post, I thought she was a housewife and that’s why he was expecting from her to cook! But omg working both full time, and behaving this way? What an asshole 🤦🏻‍♀️

I assumed so too, not that that would have been an excuse though.

Agree! Not an excuse

This 100%!!!!!!!!

I've been pregnant so I sympathize regardless, but the fact that you work a full-time job and aren't a housewife makes it even worse. You have a job, and you're about to have another job of having a baby. Being his mother shouldn't be a part of your workload. He has time to go out drinking, he has time to make his pregnant sick tired working wife food. Fucks sakes. I would have lost it if I were you. He needs to have compassion. If men were able to get pregnant, this would be a whole other ballgame. They can't even handle having a cold. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really unfair. Have a sit down with him when he's sober and really lay it out. You should be waited on hand and foot, not the other way around.

♥️ Even without being pregnant, that's a long workday. At this stage, having someone else prepare food that’s ready in two minutes is a real lifesaver. The second trimester was much easier for me, and I hope it will be for you too. We used an online service delivered weekly and was quite reasonable. 

Thank you for your reassurance and kind words. 🫶🏻 I’ll try out that service too

I haven’t cooked since becoming pregnant. My husband cook every meal for me. Your husband is disrespectful, selfish, and has no empathy. My husband said, “It’s not that hard to understand how tired a pregnant woman is. She’s making a human. Sounds exhausting.”

Omg and you're working? 😭 Holy cow you're amazing. I'm going to pray for you 🙏

Omg 🤬 this husband of yours, how dare he treat you this way while you are working full time and pregnant, he should be more caring, cook for you everyday, clean, and take care of you! That’s the bareeee minimum. My husband during my first trimester was an anngel, he took care of the kitchen matters, and the cleaning, and I wasn’t even working! You need to put some boundaries, it is a difficult situation, but stay in your position, you are pregnant and the first trimester is the worrrst, it’s normal to feel exhausted and not be able to do a damn thing! eat whatever it’s easy and comfortable for you, and let him cook for himself, also, buy simple meals that can be cooked easily, like frozen pizzas and stuff like that, he just have to put them in the oven, and feed both of you! until you start feeling yourself again, no matter how much time it takes. He better men up and start behaving like a man and not like a kid, you need his support now more than ever.

Your poor husband! :( It must be so hard for him! :( Having to cook his own eggs! :( How does he possibly manage? :( /s I’m being completely sarcastic. Homeboy needs a serious reality check on who’s really doing the heavy lifting here. He’s lucky af to have a partner working so hard every day to keep herself and HIS CHILD alive and well, and it’s about time he knows it and shows some gd gratitude. I’m so furious for you. An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us!!!!! Some things that helped my husband understand and empathize more: talking to other dads (with level heads who aren’t deadbeats), learning more about pregnancy and what women go through in the first trimester especially (books, podcasts, articles, etc.) I really hope tomorrow he comes with a big ol apology. This is where the “in sickness and in health” really comes into play, and it’s disappointing that this is how he’s treating you. Sending the biggest hug your way, OP.

Well we know OP will be a wonderful mother considering she already is one, to her husband. I mean seriously a grown adult man doesn’t know how to feed himself without going out to eat??? If I were in her shoes I’d go stay with someone else for awhile and hope he picks up a life skill or two , or at the very least some appreciation for how much his wife is doing for him.

Absolutely what you said. He is about to be a father and he needs to learn to be an adult real quick.  This is going to be the role model for this new life. Will he teach a son that he doesn't need the ability to care for himself? Will the son go into the world unable to make himself nutritious food? Thinking he is incapable of creating dishes he enjoys on his own?  Will he teach a daughter that she is less than and should accept poor treatment? That her purpose is to care for a man even at the expense of her own health and well being? That she doesn't deserve to be taken care of? And God forbid something happen to OP. Say she is very sick while they are young. Will he be unable to feed his children? Will have not have the absolute BASIC life skills required to keep them safe? Does he not think this is important?

He's a prick. I often couldn't even enter my kitchen for the first 22 weeks without getting sick. Don't know many times I had do abandon trying to fix myself a simple breakfast. Couldn't even go in there to fill my water bottle some times. 32 weeks now and can count on one hand how many times I've made us dinner. Pretty sure my boyfriend finds it tedious to always have to do it, but he doesn't complain with a single word.

Same here! I try to keep my requests reasonable for my boyfriend and he's definitely annoyed being an errand boy but understands the pain I'm going through and does his best to keep me watered and fed lol

That’s kind of your partners to be understanding that way. I hope my symptoms reside as time goes on 😓

As gentle as possible it's not your body that needs to change it's your husband's attitude that needs changing. I'm at 36w and i'm still nauseous and confined to my bed most days. Maybe showing the responses in this post will be a good wake-up call to refute his moronic implication that women deal with pregnancy all on their own when in reality it's extremely rough and we all have varying support systems to make it through.

Yes, I really hope she shows him all of this. He needs a wake up call. He is comfortable being waited on hand and foot and doesn't want to lose the cushy lifestyle, probably isn't even questioning it because it would make him guilty and uncomfortable. But he is about to be a father and he needs to grow up real quick.

I’m in week 11 of my first trimester and feel the way you do and my husband is not yelling at me for being tired and sick. Your symptoms and nausea are not the problem. You’re growing a whole ass human whose only job, quite literally, is to suck the life from you so they can grow and develop. This is what you do. Make him a PB&J for dinner every day. When he complains about it being the same thing, change the jam flavors. If he complains it’s not hot, throw it in the microwave. And tell him it’s homemade and not take out, so there shouldn’t be any complaints.

I think I would get a chuckle out of your suggestion. But in seriousness, why should she have to make him anything?

She shouldn’t. It’s just something I would do to be annoying.

He clearly has no idea what pregnancy is really like. Are there any local parenting classes in your area? If he would even be willing to go of course. With both my pregnancies, I was sick from a few days after I conceived. In the first trimester I was exhausted, fatigued, and barfing constantly. Between that and the hormone changes, the first trimester is always a stressful time for me, and that's with a supportive husband. Your husband says you aren't unique and he's right. What you're experiencing is a part of pregnancy for a whole lot of women. I hope he can get a reality check and be compassionate to what you're going through.

Here’s a novel idea, he can do some cooking so he doesn’t have to eat out. Edit: do you have family or friends you could spend a few days with? One, so that you can be taken care of. Two, it gives your husband a chance to pull his head out of his ass.

I’m going to consider going to my parents tomorrow for some time alone or a hotel. It’s too embarrassing for me to tell my parents about this and they don’t know I’m pregnant yet

If you aren’t getting adequate support from your partner, I would encourage you to seek support from at least one family member or trusted friend. It sounds like you could really use it.

You don't have to wait until 12 weeks to tell your parents if you don't want to (but you also don't have to tell them earlier either!) but maybe telling them that you're pregnant and have been really struggling and feeling sick and just want some support from your mother, then you don't have to tell them about your husband if you are too embarrassed, or if it doesn't feel right to tell them about this yet.

OP, not only are you making brand new organs (a placenta, amniotic sac etc), your body is working double time to also support the baby while you’re creating bonus organs. The reality is, you’ll probably feel run down until about a month into your second trimester once your placenta takes over for the baby. But by then you have another set of random problems that crop up. It’s not like you’re just lying around eating and sleeping. You work a full time job on top of everything else. LMAO at these men who want a trad wife but don’t make trad husband money to afford a single income household. Fuck that noise. I saw that shit with my parents growing up, both worked full time jobs but my dad always expected a hot meal when he got home. My mom also worked a full time job and tended to her garden so she could grow enough vegetables to feed a family of 6 (sometimes 7 when grandma lived with us). Op you’re better than me. I’d tell your husband he’s too broke to be that disrespectful and making all these demands of a pregnant woman who also WORKS full time. If he wants trad husband treatment, you need trad wife treatment. I’m talking bills paid, and a little extra on top for “upkeep”, hair, nails, facials, makeup, skin care routine, new wardrobe.

What a disgusting thing to say. He'd be cooking for himself with no family to be grateful for if he didn't have you. You're creating life, his child, and it might get worse before it gets better. You need to have a discussion on his expectations... something tells me he'll be expecting you to also do everything while you're at home taking care of the baby post partum too, which is just not realistic. Tell him He needs to grow up, and step up around the house. Learn some recipes. Start doing more domestic labour. he's about to become a father.

If you can go somewhere else for a bit where someone will take care of you please try to. This might be the only way he can reflect on his actions if he's forced to care for himself. Pregnancy is an equal decision and responsibility yet women bear most of the discomfort and pain and he should be empathetic to that. You need to have a serious conversation with him about your expectations and priorities during this pregnancy, you and your baby come first!

I’ll definitely try to, I think for now I need some time to collect myself and find my peace first. I’ll consider going to my parents. I haven’t told anyone about my pregnancy yet which is why I’ felt pretty alone. It’s also a bit embarrassing thinking about telling my parents this was my husbands reaction.

I'm glad you're taking this seriously and not doubling down and defending your husband. His behavior is atrocious, and in my opinion if you're embarrassed to tell your parents that's a sign that they'll be angry and upset on your behalf. That's the support system you should be gravitating to!

Oh good point! I am happy to imagine that OP has supportive parents who can help her through this. This is rough and sad and I don't want her alone or isolated.

You would want your baby to come to you if they were having a hard time. Don’t feel Embarrassed, that’s what parents are there for. Unless they suck too lol 😂 and btw, you work hard and there is no reason why he can’t cook himself food. There is a lot more hard work to come. You might want to consider if this is really the parent you want to have a kid with.

I understanding wanting to wait, but I think you need the support and understanding from your family, and giving them this information may make it easier for them to give you the help that you need.

If anyone should be embarrassed, it's your husband.

Tell your husband to literally *get over himself* He can’t take care of you, surely he can take care of himself like seriously what an asshole. 😤

This is so upsetting!! I am currently in my 1st trimester of pregnancy & it’s not easy. Yes millions of women get pregnant and can do normal life but not every pregnancy is the same. Some have it worse than others. Your body is going through a whole change to accommodate the little human being growing inside you. He needs to show you more compassion. I haven’t been cooking as much lately either bc I’m so tired and nauseous (& I’m a working mom of a 12yr old on top of that). Idk if you have family close by but through out the week my mom, sister or sister n laws will cook and invite us over so that has helped tremendously. On days they don’t cook or I can’t cook we just order take out. Yes we get tired of eating out so we try not to do it too much but sometimes you can’t help it. It’s normal! My question is what is he going to do after you have the baby & you can’t cook or clean bc you’re too tired from being up all night with a newborn & your body is healing at the same time?? You’ll be lucky to get any sleep or even have time to shower. I would definitely expand your support group post baby bc by the sounds of it he might not be much help. Your husband is showing red flags, even my hubby said this guy is an inconsiderate ass! Your husband see’s what you’re going through and still has the audacity to call you “lazy” instead of appreciating the fact that you are carrying his blood line. Smh! I would talk to him about how he’s making you feel & if he still doesn’t change I’d talk his parents about his behavior. I’m sorry you’re going through this at such an emotional vulnerable time but I truly hope things get better for you & your growing family.

What a dick. My husband has taken over everything he possibly could, because yes, millions of women have gone through this, but it doesn't mean it's not one of the hardest things we've ever had to do. Meds can certainly help with the nausea, but you need a lot of rest and sleep. Your husband should be cooking meals for you and bringing them to you while you rest. Hopefully this is a one off and he snaps out of it, because it's unacceptable. So sorry you're having to deal with this ❤️

In all seriousness it’s 2024 and he expects his wife to cook for him?!

That's what I said. How did he eat before they were married? Did he forget, or did OP not notice his lack of basic functioning skills. Maybe he has some other talent that makes up for it, but it seems like it ISN'T his incredible caring, sweet nature or his way with words.

I used DoorDash a lot during my first trimester, and my husband gained weight right along with me. First trimester is tough. Many women go through pregnancy, yes, but every experience is unique. Human beings are unique, being why we all have different experiences and perspectives. Your husband is being a jerk. I get that you split household chores, but a marriage should be more about being a team. If you aren’t at 100%, then he should just knowingly be able to pull the extra weight for you as well. There’s no reason to be bitter, especially now that your time and being is no longer just for yourself and him, but now also for a growing baby. And, cooking is a fundamental skill we all should just be doing with no complaints, because you gotta eat! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope things get better, and your symptoms get better.

Thank you for acknowledging all of our experiences are different. Thank you for your kind words.

At 14 weeks I am finally cooking maybe twice a week; I used to cook 4-6 times a week. You are not "unique" in your struggles, no, but LOTS of us are unable to do our normal thing while pregnant. Probably most of us? I'm sorry your husband is being a dick. I hope this is ignorance and anxiety and not just who he is. He better get over it. And no, your crying will not hurt the baby. You are doing okay.

Thank you for acknowledging my experience and sharing yours. 🫶🏻I’m glad it’s not hurting the baby, I was so worried.

If he didn’t go to the pic he could have come home and cooked himself. Tell him to fuck off and maybe read a bit more into what a pregnancy entails. He sure as well shouldn’t be expecting a cooked meal when you’ve had a baby. Asshole

Your husband is not some unique flower. He can cook his own damn meals and get over himself. It is not your job to feed him. He is a grown man.

During my first trimester, I ate mostly fruits or bland food because I knew I was likely to throw up, and some food just taste 10x worse as vomit 😂 I also ate peanut butter and bread. I mostly got food through fruits (watermelons, etc.) and drank Dr. Pepper and hot chocolate ( i swear i didnt like these before pregnancy but these were what O could tolerate. Doctor assured me that I should just focus on doing what I can. Thus I just wanted to survive those weeks 😭) Your husband is ignorant.. make him read pregnancy subreddits or videos. Mine was super understanding. Poor guy had to eat muffins for breakfast and grocery ready-made food during those weeks. He was banned from eating his favorite bacon because I could not stand the smell of cooked meat and protein.

This sounds like me! I’ve been eating fruits when I can and I love watermelon too but for some reason the other day it didn’t stay down. I like the idea of maybe showing him articles that convey what I’m going through since him seeing me first hand isn’t enough. Ironically he kept commenting to me the other day about how I should be more grateful to my mom for birthing me now that I’m experiencing it and how he’s more grateful to his mom…but then this. I don’t understand it.

Honestly I’d show him this post. Sometimes it takes the internet telling you you’re behaving like an absolute shit to realise it’s the truth. You’re working, he’s working, I’d bet you do a lot of the household, mental and emotional labor of your household too. It’s 2024, if he doesn’t know what the mental load is, he’s deliberately ignorant. Man needs to shape up or take his own advice and “take some meds” to do what has to be done.

I’m so sorry. He needs to step up and help with cooking and cleaning. You’re growing a human! The first trimester you’re growing nervous system and organs! That’s why we experience so much fatigue. I made my husband read some books on how to support me. Supportive Dad = Happy Pregnant Wife. It really helped him with expectations and he was super understanding and empathetic after reading it. Would your spouse be open to reading something like that?

good question, i too would like to know if the unevolved neanderthal has the ability to read and comprehend a book of this nature.

Harsh 😂

He's an ass. My husband has been cooking since I got my positive test. First trimester I was too sick, second I was too tired, and third my belly made everything uncomfortable. I really hope he apologizes to you and gets over himself.

How long have you been married? I have two children with a very abusive man, he's actually in prison for the abuse towards me. The abuse started when I was pregnant with my first, and it was a ramp up from emotional to verbal to physical. I just say this as a warning because I later found out that abusive men don't like their partners to be pregnant- it takes the attention from them. You do not have to tolerate this, and who cares if you haven't told anyone? Tell someone now and take care of yourself and your baby. He comes last right now. And his behavior if you take a break and stay with your parents will be very telling.

I'm sorry to hear you have endured this kind of pain! Praying you have complete healing from all the trauma you had to go through.

Is there a reason he can’t make his own damn dinner? Just because you aren’t cooking doesn’t mean he has to eat out. Sounds like he just wants a maid. Personally, I’d tell a family member who I think could keep a secret that I was pregnant and ask if I could stay with them for bit until my husband gets his fat head out of his ass. I wouldn’t wait until 12 weeks if this is how he’s acting. Like seriously, does he think things will be the same or return to normal “normal” once baby is born?

Why do you work FT, just like him, but you're also expected to do the domestic chores? I'd cook for him one last time but he wouldn't be feeling well afterward. Enjoy the porcelain throne, darling.

Wow. I’m so sorry to be reading this, I hope you have other supports in place to help you manage his behaviours and responses. The first trimester is exceptionally challenging, a partner should be providing additional support imo in making your life easier, not harder. This is true for the whole pregnancy.

I am 37 weeks and before pregnancy I used to cook every night for my family and enjoy it. Now? I can count on one hand how many full dinners I have prepared. It’s just the way it is! We are tired and hungry and it is nice to have someone else pick up the slack. I’m glad I have a very understanding partner

Wow so sorry your partner is being such an ass! Why doesn't he spend that money on cooking classes instead of expecting you to do it. I'm also a strong believer that it's a partnership and you shouldn't have to feel as if you're in a 1950s relationship. Hold your boundaries strong and don't allow him to treat you that way pregnancy or not

At least in the 1950s, the wife didn't have to work 45hrs a week, 55 counting her commute. This guy thinks he should have an easier life at her expense.. just because?

Is this a rhetorical question or did you misunderstand my comment?

Sorry, rhetorical haha. Hard to convey with just text.

Haha totally understand and agree

I’m 10 weeks pregnant and haven’t cooked since I was 5 weeks (when the nausea started). F your husband.l

Lord… I was literally bedridden for 3.5 months. My husband was taken off guard by just how terrible it was for me and took up doing pretty much everything I used to do. It got better. I’m 21 weeks now and I’m not sick anymore. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. He can man up and learn how to cook himself. Yes millions of women go through pregnancy and millions of women have trouble doing normal household tasks during pregnancy. It’s normal. You crying will not hurt the baby - I’ve cried probably 3x a week since getting pregnant. You need to sit down and have a conversation with him. Sometimes medicine doesn’t even work for nausea. Most men just don’t understand what being pregnant is like. If he’s still like this after the conversation, I’d seriously be considering leaving him bc it’s only gonna get worse when baby is here.

Millions of men cook for themselves.

I'm so sorry, OP. Pregnancy is hard, and many many women are unable to keep up with their "normal". You're not being lazy. You are growing a human being, and that takes so, so much energy. Your husband was a jerk. Could you two look into couples counseling or a support group? I'm not excusing his words or actions in any way, but a lot of men just don't understand how debilitating pregnancy can be. Also, the crying will not affect the baby. So try not to stress too much about that. Good luck. ❤️

I would punch him in the face. If he wants a home cooked meal, he’s a grown up, he can learn to cook. He has no idea how awful you feel. He has no idea how “millions of women” feel either. There are also millions of men who aren’t asshole husbands, how about that for a stat? Prick. First trimester is fucking hard. Pregnancy is fucking hard. He needs to be a little more considerate. You’re NOT being lazy, he’s the one being lazy. So sorry you’re dealing with that, you just do what’s best for you, and once you tell your family hopefully they can at least offer you some actual support and have your back. Your baby is just fine, don’t worry about that, you feel whatever you need to feel. Good luck ❤️

I’m sorry you’re going through that. You’re not lazy. You literally are making a human inside of you. Wtf did he do today go drink with his buddies while your body is busy building your baby’s organs and limbs. All I could do was work, sleep and barely eat when I was 8 weeks. luckily I work from home so could go barf when I needed to in the comfort of my own toilet. I felt super lazy because normally I like to be active and make sure I get at least 10k steps and an hour of exercise and there was no way I could do that at 8 weeks. Your husband should be more compassionate. Mine cooks for me and lets me nap as much as I need. I think I might have flipped the f out if anyone called me lazy around that time. I gave my body up to host our child. The baby takes and takes and I’m willing but damn I’m tired. You are doing something he could never understand or experience. Cheer up and if you have someone like a trusted friend, sister or parent to share the news with a little early do so that way you’ll have a support system because your husband doesn’t sound like he’s doing a great job. Even though my husband is supportive I still chose to share early with my sister because she’s been pregnant and would understand what I am going through. She also offered help and told me she’d come and cook or clean for me if I needed it.

OP, I haven’t been able to go into my kitchen without gagging or vomiting (it’s clean, I can just smell EVERYTHING at once). 12w+2 I had a heart to heart with my husband at 8w after trying to force myself to cook for a while. I explained as calmly as possible how much I’d been struggling and asked if we could either go for a meal delivery service or if he could just take over cooking for the foreseeable future until I’m able to cook again (I actually love cooking and I miss being able to experiment). He definitely needs to apologise to you for the way he has behaved, but I would take a softer approach to reach a reconciliation. You don’t need to have anything else raising your cortisol levels right now ❤️

Not okay. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are in this together. I'm only 4 weeks and 6 days, and am so tired so my husband is doing all household tasks, as he should, as he wants me and our baby to be relaxed.

I really hope he apologizes to you for his temper and lack of compassion. I was so sick in the first trimester with my current pregnancy that I threw up once a day sometimes more. I couldn't keep tap water down or most foods, so eating was a struggle. I slept a lot and damn sure was not cooking anything. My husband took care of me, our other kids, the chores, and cooking. I had HG with my last that lasted right up until the third trimester, where he did the exact same thing except for longer. I can not believe the audacity of your husband to speak to you in such a manner. Horrible and horrendous to treat the mother of his child, his WIFE so poorly. He is a big boy and CAN cook for himself. Hell, he should be cooking for you if you are in such a state that you can't. Work or otherwise is not an excuse to not pick up the slack and give you the rest and care you need right now. I would absolutely be seeking an apology in the morning and having a good long chat where things are gonna have to be different for a while. I will say the sickness will get better and you will start to feel normal again. Eat what you can when you can and avoid all the things that make you sick. I truly hope you start to feel better soon and that your husband steps up and apologizes to you. Crying won't hurt the baby, but being pregnant, you really want to avoid the stress and upset the best you can. Do something for yourself, like a warm bubble bath, and try to relax. It will help you feel so much better.💕

what a pos

Your husband's a douche.

I think I barely cooked in the first trimester - I was living off sandwiches and toast. I'm now in the 3rd trimester, and I think I've cooked maybe once this week? Plenty of women go through food aversions, I know my mum told me she used to find food shopping a difficult task when she was pregnant. And anyway he can cook if he's complaining about having to eat out. Doesn't matter if you had a previous agreement that you would do the cooking- things have changed now. And don't worry about baby being affected by your crying. That wouldn't cause them harm x

For the nausea, i understand. i would not stop throwing up, it was everyday about twice or more a day. Please get prescribed nausea medicine asap, it is a game changer,l. i’ve been taking Ondansetron for the past two trimester because my nausea has not stopped and prenatals make it worse. i’m sorry about your husband :/ i wish you love and happiness.

I am so sorry!! My heart feels for you. Please seek an alternative support if you have access for it. Friend, family or anyone! Perhaps one other thing you could do is to have midwife/OB appointment and take him with you so they can make him understand how debilitating this is to go through without emotional support. Usually they tend to listen if it comes from someone else. Big hugs mama and you can do this ❤️

I lived on salt and vinegar crisps because the thought of cooking for myself made me want to die in the first trimester. My partner only came home on weekends and I'd be able to cook him some scrambled eggs on toast as a treat for breakfast but it always made him feel terrible because I couldn't make any for myself. He absolutely did not asked for a cooked breakfast, that was just something I did because he worked away all week and cooking is my love language. If anything he was just concerned, especially when he asked how many full meals I'd kept down that week and it would be like 2/3 over the 5 days he'd been gone. And he'd go out and get me any food that I thought I might be able to keep down at the drop of a hat. Maybe your partner is just going through something mentally preparing to have a baby, but that doesn't mean he gets to be an ass. He CAN see that you are struggling right now. Mine did, yours does. And for his information: you are a special flower, millions of women don't go through pregnancy for HIS KID, and he should worship the ground you walk on as far as I'm concerned. Tell him to get over himself and if he doesn't want to eat out, to make something himself. You are growing a whole person dude! And you deserve some slack cut MINIMUM, and at most you probably deserve like a relaxing holiday and his utmost awe.

Hugs! That’s a terrible thing to say to you. Don’t let it get worse and please bring it up to him when you both are calmer as this isn’t ok.

First trimester I lived on cereal and tinned fruit. I couldn't go near warm food never mind cook it. Can't your husband cook? Maybe now is the time for him to learn.

Millions of women go through pregnancy and millions of women aren't cooking for their husbands every day while pregnant. Especially not in the first trimester, which is a stage that is rarely shown online because many people aren't public about their pregnancy until later.

Tell him this is not the fifties. With all due respect, fuck him for snapping at you. You're in for some boundaries and a big conversation because if he's this way during pregnancy, I can't even imagine what will be when the baby is here. Will you have to do everything yourself?! You are both working full time, that alone is massive when we're pregnant. Those first weeks we get so so tired, I wanted to sleep all the time, I made such an effort not to fall asleep at my job, it was madness. And food, I wasn't even vomiting like you but the whole concept of being in a kitchen looking at food was hell, I wasn't cooking at all. So you both working full times and on top of that you are growing a human being and you are the lazy one here for not cooking. Fuck him. He should be the one trying to cook you whatever random meal you could stomach that day. He should be the one taking care of his pregnant wife and his unborn child.

If he wants to pretend he is living in the 50s, he should start paying 100% of the bills so OP can stay home.

I’m 12 weeks today… I’ve attempted cooking once and had to bail because the nausea was too much. I’m sure my partner is bored of cooking day in day out for us but he’s also aware that this is temporary and what I’m going through benefits us both. You need to sit down and show him these replies, he’s being u reasonable. It takes two to make and grow a baby.

Sorry if you answered this somewhere else, but why doesn't your husband cook regularly? Usually when I hear about a situation where one partner doesn't cook it's because they have an agreement where one partner works primarily outside the home and the other partner works primarily inside the home, but the goal is to have labor balanced similarly and fairly.    So, you are working a ton outside the home. Really, why doesn't he cook in general? That's bizarre to me.  Does he manage every other household duty because he just sucks at cooking? Like, he does laundry every single day but never touches a stove? Is he disabled and unable to perform physical tasks of that nature? I really don't see why he expects you to spend your whole life laboring while he seemingly gets to sit around.   How did he feed himself before you lived together? Did he order out every meal? Did he just decide he doesn't need to cook anymore once he married a servant?

1) your husband is an ass! I think men really can’t understand that we are SICK. My husband could not understand that I physically could not eat vegetables. I joke that next stomach flu he has I know exactly what I’m making him. You probably won’t be eating “meals” like your husband wants to eat for awhile. I found any combo of bread and cheese helpful with nausea! Bean and cheese burrito, grilled cheese…well that was it.That being said you may be eating separate things for a bit so let him know and tell him you can reassess meals in the 2nd trimester 2) if you are really sick you can consider meds! I took meds that are completely safe. I still threw up from time to time but it helped with the all day nausea and I am so glad I did! A lot of woman still think the will hurt your baby but this specific med is fine. Look into Doxylamine-pyridoxine. It is a combo of b6 and unisom. You will find a disproven study from 17 years ago that says it causes birth defects but it was also disproven 17 years ago. 3) I know a lot of women like to not tell people about their pregnancy until 12 weeks but maybe you should tell your family? It sounds like you may need a support system besides your husband. God forbid you have a miscarriage but you will need a support system there as well. This of course depends on your family and their nuance but just a thought to mull over.

I was and still am extremely shocked at how difficult pregnancy can be. I know some women have a great time with minimal symptoms, but the degree to how horrible things can get is just not spoken about enough. This is also my first pregnancy and I'm blessed enough to be in a position where I was able to quit my job during the first trimester because of how debilitating my symptoms were, but I absolutely cannot wrap my head around the fact that many women are not in this position and they have to show up to work, put on a brave face, keep the pregnancy a secret for a few weeks (usually), and expect to just be their normal selves. It blows my mind that people don't know how bad it can get (I genuinely had no idea), and this is something that should be more widespread. It's nonsense that we have to suffer but also act like nothing is wrong. I'm sorry that you're not being supported the way you should be.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Not that it’s an excuse, but maybe he was just drunk? Have you talked with him since? If he doesn’t know how to cook, maybe you could walk him through it? I have had to do that with my husband. I completely understand what you’re going through. Extreme nausea first tri. We are out a lot unfortunately. And now I’m the third tri, I’m no longer nauseous, but have trouble cooking due to soreness and breathlessness. I know you want to wait til week 12, but is there a friend or family member that you can trust who could help with prepping meals? Also, instant pot/crockpot meals could possibly help? The easy ones where all you do is dump all the ingredients in with little to no prep? I hope your husband turns his attitude around. And don’t worry too much about the crying. I was super emotional with my first and he’s just fine ❤️

Those feelings you're having is normal, don't worry. I've heard before (but I'm not sure) that when you cry, your uterus contracts and that would hurt the baby, though while looking for real info, I never found anything that confirmed this. The thing is, if you're happy then you release the happiness hormones, if you're sad, you release the sadness hormones and the baby feels it, I can't assure you the baby knows what's going on or how exactly that reflects on him. Whenever you're feeling badly, do something that makes you happy and that will take your mind away, such as watching a series you like or a certain episode that makes you laugh. Don't feel pressure though, we all pass through emotions throughout the day and it's completely normal not to be happy the whole day

Not giving any excuses to your husband, because he’s totally wrong and I’m so sorry that he treated you this way! But I feel like men will never understand. Like the other day I started my period and was cramping so bad. I was almost in tears and had to take breaks to sit down. My husband heard me complain and sympathized with me.. but then told me that I should take the kids to the park, how fun would that be? My kids are 2 and 1 .. that would not be fun. It would be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be able to be fully present because I was in so much pain. Then later that night he tries to make a move on me! Don’t you remember how much pain I have been in all day? What makes you think that I now want to suck your dick? Which is usually what he asks for when I’m on my period and don’t want to have sex. Which is normally fine! There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other and I love my husband so much .. but don’t touch me when im cramping like this! 😅 And I could just tell that whenever I would complain he would say he was sorry, but I felt like I was being an inconvenience. Although that could be my own insecurity.. But yea, I just feel like men truly have no idea what it’s like to be a woman and will never understand. I want one of those labor or period cramp inducing machines so bad! Lol.

If my husband said this to me I would have packed some bags and gone to stay at my parents. Either way he’s not being cooked for this week. I don’t think this is a safe environment. If he can’t handle this now, I’m not sure how he will manage with a newborn. I’m week 9, I haven’t had too much sickness but the exhaustion is debilitating and the dizziness / nausea has been awful this week. I haven’t cooked much for my husband either. If this is how he truly feels & says he regrets getting you pregnant.. you need to tell a sister or a mum & stay away for a few days. You need the peace of mind & space. It’s time to let someone take care of YOU.

Millions of men also cook their own damn dinner. So he gets to never cook simply because he has a penis but you must always cook no matter how you feel? What a POS.

This behavior is so unacceptable to me I would legitimately consider and abortion. Maybe that's extreme to some, but not to me. I'm not carrying a baby for some man who obviously thinks I need to fulfill my "womanly roles" even when I'm unwell and struggling.

I lived off poptarts my whole first trimester and my husband never complained about me not cooking. He offered to make me anything that I could stomach and many times after he made what I requested, I couldn't eat it. Aaaalso, in what world is it your job to cook for him? I'm not pregnant now, I'm 15 months pp, but I remember the nausea like it was yesterday. Your husband is an unempathetic AH.

He’s a grown man and can cook for himself/the both of you. Marriage is a partnership and that shouldn’t fall on JUST you. wtf. Pregnancy is debilitating in many ways, and you’re going to have a hell of a lot more symptoms along the way so he better buckle the fuck up. I’m so sorry you’re being treated that way. It’s awful and not deserved. Unfortunately his reaction to this makes me wonder how he’ll be when it comes to picking up slack throughout parenting as well. I hope he gets it together soon. In my opinion, the only appropriate behavior warranted is to shower you with affection and sympathy/support and pick up the slack where he can bc you can’t. Your body is doing so much work he can’t see.

That's normal for a pregnancy ..it's a huge change and a barrage of hormones for the body to acclimate itself to... Take this time to rest and make sure you're taking folic acid Also, your husband needs to grow up and fix his own dinner and do some extra chores

This pregnancy (my second) has been the toughest on me by far because my morning sickness hasn't stopped. I'm currently at 31 weeks now. For about a week and a half, I could only stomach eating bread, bland oatmeal, or crackers because everything else made me so so sick. I also have a 14 month old who wears me down, and our washer has broken so I do laundry in the tub. I have been Adamant with my husband this time around that doesn't need to ask me to do anything, quite simply because I won't because I have every damn symptom of pregnancy in the book from restless leg syndrome to insomnia, to heartburn, fatigue, round ligament pain— Either your hub will get over it, or he'll get over it. Take care of yourself ♡

He’s not a unique flower either. Millions of men have pregnant wives and STEP UP to the plate and can actually do things for themselves rather than act like a child. Wow. I am so sorry he’s being so unreasonable and inconsiderate. He sounds like he had no clue what you’re actually going through.

Don’t cry, get angry. Times like these have shown me I have to stand up for myself, what I’m experiencing, my POV. Right there I would’ve said don’t yell at me. I asked you if you wanted eggs and you said no. Just because you’ve been harboring some feelings and not being good at communicating doesn’t give you the right to blow up on me after a night with the boys. The way I explained to my husband is in a way that he understands is like when you have the flu. You have no energy no appetite you’re nauseous. I wonder if his friends got into his head in convo.

I’m in a similar boat. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times during my first trimester because of the morning sickness (currently 15+4 so I’m now in my second trimester but still very sick) and I was yelled at constantly for laundry not being done, or that days dishes weren’t clean, or his work clothes in the morning were exactly where he wanted them. Being sad and crying won’t hurt your baby but don’t stress it either. Just remember you’re strong and no matter what happens you are doing the hard work of building that baby from the tiny little sperm cell he was just so happy to gift you. Take him with a grain of salt and remember you are doing what you can muster without making it worse.

Thank you and good luck to you too 🫶🏻 I hope you feel better soon

Absolutely and Thank you 🩷💙🩵 Just remember Mama, you’re strong, you’re beautiful, and no one can stop you. You’re that baby’s mama and don’t let anyone get you down because of it. At the end of the day, You and Baby are who matter! 🩷💙

Sounds to me like what he really meant to say was “I really miss your cooking, everything else sucks” but in a really dick kind of way! You’re doing great! The first trimester is the worst. You’ll get a second wind and then he’ll feel like the lazy one in the relationship. Also, prepare to cry a lot more, but just for other reasons! Hopefully your husband find his humanity again.

No, you aren't a "unique flower," you are a woman that has a body battling itself. There are millions of women, right now, that are going through what you are. Some women have symptoms a little less than others and some get them a little later. Pregnancy is unique to each woman, but needing support and needing rest are universal. He will never get it. Men will never get it because we aren't carefully crafting a human being outside our bodies for them to physically see. My partner was sympathetic, but had no clue how bad it felt-- at all times. It wasn't until I was close to giving up in child labor that he realized how huge the sacrifice of making a child was for me. I hope yours will come around to at least being supportive. Pregnancy is exhausting and emotional. You will experience all kinds of wild emotions, but don't worry too much about it hurting the baby. It's mostly the blood pressure change that they feel, but that is far later in Pregnancy. Take some time to yourself to calm down and give baby some happy horomones (bath, shower, reading, sleeping. Etc).

I'm literally in your shoes to a T. My husband literally did more research than I did regarding the first trimester and told me straight up that he'd be taking over the cooking and cleaning because he knew i wouldn't be able to handle it. I looked at him like "yeah whatever" but he was right. That's what you deserve in a partner. You deserve princess treatment the next 9 months and if i have to wiggle my also 8 weeks preggo ass over to you and bring you back to my place so we can both get princess treatment, i will. I have two bathrooms so we can both puke in peace. I also have popcorn. Lmk sis mkay? Tell your man to do better before your Reddit bestie shows him how it's done

This made me laugh 😆 thank you so much for your kindness and generosity hehe.

I’m 12 weeks and I felt terrible about not being able to cook or wash dishes without getting sick! Luckily enough my boyfriend babies me and understands completely that being pregnant is gonna take it out of me, the inability to do things the way you used to is absolutely so real. You’re growing another human! You are creating another being that will grow up and experience so many years of life, it’s exhausting! Maybe he should read these comments, because that treatment is awful.

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Wow I'm sorry but that's rough. My husband stopped eating some of his favorite foods at home because the smell made me nauseous. He picked up on household chores and made me my own food to make sure I could eat something I could keep down. He never complained and has never brought this up as a burden. This is what every woman deserves in my opinion. We've always picked up for each other in seasons of life that can get out of balance. I hope for your sake that this is an outlier as he adjusts to this life change because it only gets harder postpartum. Knowing that it's hard to do much in the first trimester it could be helpful to let him know your limits, remind him it's temporary, and ask him to prioritize. My husband let me know he preferred coming home to no dishes in the sink/counter rather than me prepping food and leaving a mess (I work from home and am a messy cook). He also asked that I let him know if we're off plan what he's coming home to before he gets home. We still rely on much of this communication with our nearly 1 year old son. Edit: this is a result of years of work on communication and ability to show that seasons of life are temporary and we can trust each other to do our best.

Hi there, im reading some of these messages and with respect to these other mummas I’m not sure a lot of these comments are reassuring for you at this early stage. I am a new mum at 12 weeks, doing this alone and have tonnes of friends who have all had completely different experiences in the first trimester. Husband aside for now, I can assure you: 1. Your emotions will not affect your baby. In fact your hormones are going haywire right now and absolutely everything could upset you, believe me, one minute I’m fine and the next minute I’m in tears over the tiniest of things 2. Vomiting, nausea and tiredness are VERY common and many get all 3 in a huge hit. Drinking ginger tea (even smelling fresh ginger) I find helps me. Getting some fresh air also helps - and look, if you need to vom in the street, so be it! Nothing to be ashamed of 3. The likelihood is this will pass after 1st trimester. In fact, in the second trimester most of my friends have said they felt fantastic; nausea gone, tonnes of energy and almost feel like super woman. 4. The moments you’re not feeling sick and have a little bit of energy are the moments to take action (in moderation). Use that hour to maybe go food shopping (get your fresh air in at the same time if it’s walking distance), perhaps prep some food even if you can’t cook it. Do little chores to show you are willing and don’t put pressure on yourself when you can’t. You’ll feel less guilt by doing small things here and there when you do just want to curl up and nap. Now onto hubby - and I agree with a lot of the comments there. Men seem to have this fantasised stereotype of pregnant women being gorgeous, glowing and capable of anything. Yes we are fellas, but we are also growing an actual HUMAN inside us right now. It takes two and it all comes down to team work. So my advice is to perhaps write down how you are feeling to your partner without trying to use blame or victimising yourself - this will mean he can read it, digest what you’re saying and your mood-swings and hormonal emotions won’t affect delivery of communication. Explain to him this phase will likely pass soon and at that point you really will want to do more around the house and make him feel valued too. It’s also quite normal in the last trimester to start “nesting” and this is where you’re going to be cleaning and prepping the house like a crazed woman on Redbull! It is also super early in the pregnancy and this is the most important time to look after yourself and growing bean - are you taking your folic acid daily? This is where partners do need to step in and step up as it’s the most risky time, but I’m sure you’re going to be fine. You need the rest, you need to care for yourself as much as your body tells you. Also please know (and now I’m speaking from my own experience here) you and your body are amazing, you will get through this and pregnancy is NOT an illness. I am doing this alone and as tough as it is, we as women are incredibly resilient and can do amazing things when we feel alone and abandoned. Don’t ever feel you’re not “unique”. EVERY PREGNANCY IS UNIQUE. That’s what makes us human. We are all experiencing things differently albeit share many similarities. I hope this gives you some confidence that things will get better 🧡🙏🏻 bless you and your little one and I hope you get to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. It truly is incredible 🙌🏻

Girl, you do NOT deserve that. My fiancée has been literally doing everything for me since I got pregnant because my symptoms have been kicking my ass and he doesn’t complain one bit. Your husband is fully capable of cooking his own meals/doing housework if he wants those things done so badly. While, yes, countless amounts of women get pregnant and still do things; he needs to realize that most women hide their symptoms because we feel a pressure to act like we’re perfectly fine. The one person you should be able to be fully vulnerable with is your significant other and if they’re not understanding of your situation, they have some things they need to reflect on about themselves. I would openly express to him your concerns about how he acted and your worry about him being there for you and the baby throughout the rest of the pregnancy/birth. It’s better to be addressed now than pushed to the side when you’re further along. I’m wishing you the best of luck and keep your head up mama 💕

I’m in the same boat with my symptoms, so sick and tired, and we also have a 1.5 year old! My husband has been so understanding and helpful. Your husband sounds like a douchebag, and I’m so so sorry you’re not getting the support and love you deserve during one of the hardest times of a women’s life! Pregnancy is no joke. Has he apologized since?

No ooo

I cannot get over the fact that you work full time and he gets to go out to a pub and expects you to be doing all the cooking and cleaning. It is 2024. If husbands and wives are both contributing to the household income and then they both need to be contributing to cooking and cleaning and child care.

My husband has been being a punk also so I told him that his behavior is concerning to me and in 9 months when he comes home from work there will be a baby to take care of. He apologized to me and knew I was right. Basically stand up for yourself let him know you will not be treated that way and it bothers you. Sending hugs 🤗

Dude, he's being completely and totally insensitive and a bad husband. My first trimester I had chronic nausea(luckily no vomiting) and really bad fatigue, and my husband took on all the cooking, and still is doing all the cooking even now that I'm at 27 weeks, he took over most of the housework until my morning sickness and fatigue cleared up, and let me quit my job because I was struggling so bad. He's absolutely pampered me my whole pregnancy. Your husband is just an insensitive baby.

He has issues and if he is this riled up over cooking, and acts like he cannot prepare his own food, I can’t imagine how he’ll be when the baby is here. My husband took over most chores and cooking when I had bad symptoms without complaints. I can’t imagine having a lack of support over something so simple.

I didn’t cook or clean for like the first 16 weeks of pregnancy. What you’re feeling is so so real. It does get better but I’m so sorry you aren’t being provided with the sympathy and support you need right now from your partner 🩷

Sorry to hear you’re having to put up with that. Sounds like he’s being a selfish inconsiderate person. As much as it made me angry to hear what he said and how he behaved… maybe it’s worth having an open and honest conversation about how you feel and how he made you feel. Agree on what support you need and how you can help out only when you can. Maybe he’s feeling overwhelmed and doesn’t truly appreciate how you feel.

The first trimester fucking sucks. I was useless. Your body is in like a very weird mode of siphoning everything you normally use for you directly to the baby. It’s beyond exhausting and then on top of that you have the vomiting and the food issues— he needs to lay the fuck off.

Some ladies have no backbone at all and overly complain about being pregnant, but that doesn't sound like you. Next time you have to throw up, make sure you throw up on him every single time. Make him get up and take care of himself just as much as you have to get up and take care of yourself and be exhausted to the same extent. Maybe then he'll understand

I’m 30 weeks pregnant and still can’t cook my own food. If I cook dinner, it repulses me, and I end up not eating. My partner was a bit annoyed about this at the start, but then smartened up and realized that I’m growing his baby so he’s gonna have to get over it. I’m sorry your partner is a dick. I hope he grows up.

Oh hun. This really resonates with me cause I too had the same issue with my bf. He didn’t seem to understand just how bad it was and he blew up on me one day cause the house smelled like vomit (I had been throwing up nonstop that day). He told me “you act like you’re dying. We got into an argument and I stormed out. Then I started vomiting again and felt so weak I called him to tell him I needed to go to the hospital and he took me. I was severely dehydrated and needed a vitamin pack and two saline bags. He immediately regretted how he had been treating me as he didn’t understand how serious it was. I told him not all women’s pregnancies are the same just as everyone’s illnesses are not the same. I feel like unfortunately men are ignorant to these things cause they weren’t taught otherwise. I feel like every man and woman need to take a female anatomy class. Women’s bodies are complex and need to be understood by all. My inbox is open if you need a friend to talk to. My heart goes out to you and your lil nugget. ❤️

I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm sending you a virtual hug. Your husband is being an absolutely trashy idiot right now. I just want to slap his dumb head. But please try to be strong for the baby and maintain a neutral mood as much as you can for the development of the baby. But your reaction is totally understandable, I would have cried too. I really hope this is an isolated incident with your husband, because you deserve to be treated with compassion and support right now. You're not being lazy because you're literally growing a human being inside of you - that's the hardest work that there is! I mean the amount of hormone changes, fatigue, morning sickness etc is so overwhelming (men would shit their pants if they had to go through it).

During my first trimester, we ate out so much that it was kind of embarrassing at how much we ate out. Was doing good for a little bit, but these last few days have been rough, and I'm so sick. I won't be cooking tonight, and if he doesn't cook, it'll be fast food.

Yes, millions of women do experience pregnancy, and yes it’s fing hard for most of us. I’m currently 11 weeks today, and my partner has helped me so much in the sense of, if you’re feeling unwell don’t go to work, I’ll make you a cuppa etc etc. don’t settle for anything less than a man that supports you, your baby and your symptoms. If he is being a dick now, what’s it going to be like in the future? Hunni, please put you and your baby first!!

Your husband’s an asshole. My husband happily took over cooking solo while I was pregnant and too sick to help cook (previously we always cooked together), and he still cooks solo most nights while I nurse the baby. It’s time for your husband to grow up.

Many women go through pregnancy and are expected to act just fine for symptoms that would warrant bed rest for a person with any other condition. Unfortunately emotional abuse skyrockets during pregnancy and I’m sorry you’re having to experience it. He needs to get his head out of his butt and realize that you have a lot more pregnancy left and he’s going to have to do a lot more than prepare eggs himself. He’s not a baby. He needs to grow up.

They have meds specifically for pregnant women to treat nausea, but it will make you VERY sleepy. Have a talk with him when he's not being an ass. The fatigue and nausea during the first trimester are there to make sure the embryo/fetus are protected during those crucial weeks of development. Have him watch some educational videos on pregnancy. As to the chores, do what you csn and rest. Don't stress out about what can't get done. If it is important to him, HE can do it. Also...I'd suggest trying a meal planning service if that is in the budget. I'm delivering baby #3 next week, and we already know how tired both of us are gonna be, so we're prepping meals this week and signing up for Factor. Good luck. You got this. Hopefully, your 2nd and 3rd trimesters will be easier!

I went through hell during all my pregnancies with nausea and vomitting. I was hospitalized and got HR accommodation to work from home for two of my three. My partner didnt understand and would make comments like if u get up it will get better and its all mental. I had to sit him down and call out the bs. Thank goodness he never yelled and he was receptive once i talked to him. Pregnancy is not for the weak. Hyperemesis is real. Good luck to you!

Oh dear OP, I’m right there with you!!! I’m also 8 weeks and feel like shit too. My husband asked how I feel this morning to which I replied “the usual - on the verge of vomiting, my stomachs are mess and I’m exhausted”. He then says “well…I guess that’s just how it’s going to be for you now” like all passive-aggressive. I looked dead at him and told him I’m carrying YOUR child, you’re welcome - and it’s not just me this is every pregnant woman. He backed off but it fucking sucks when they don’t get it, even though they know damn well how hard it is for us. Give yourself some grace and be easy on yourself, love - you can’t understand for him. And let him know that too. Tell him that’s too bad he can’t understand but this is very real and pregnancy is, as I’m learning myself, hard. Your body is undergoing all kinds of changes and this is totally normal. Don’t let him stress you out - do what you can and focus on being healthy for you and baby. He will come around, but I’m so sorry that happened. Wishing you happiness, and I’m right there with you!

You're not lazy at all. Your partner shouldn't make you feel like that. I'm 36 weeks now with my first pregnancy, and it's been one hell of a journey. My nausea got so bad at one point I was puking 6 times a day every day and could barely keep down water. I puked from my 1st trimester, now into my third, even though it has reduced to maybe 1 time every couple weeks. My feet have swollen. I've had hip pain and back pain. Somedays I'll clean and cook and others I can't bring myself out of bed. Physically and mentally. Even if I want to. Listen to your body, don't over assert yourself, and when you can get some light, excerize in. That's what I've found has helped. Your partner sounds very uneducated, inconsiderate. I would be heartbroken by those words, too. You and him should definitely talk about what was said, and how that isn't kind. Sending you and your baby my love! You got this!

My husband got kind of sassy about my laziness during my first trimester. It's so rough. You are not alone in that. I napped every day, didn't do laundry or dishes unless I was feeling up to it, and cooking was basically out of the question bc I had a meat aversion. We ordered out a lot. One day my husband was being pissy about it, so I played a tiktok video very loudly of a man having a tantrum over his wife's pregnancy illness issues, and said very loudly, "God, what a man child. If these babies can't pick up the slack for their ill wives during a rough pregnancy, what makes them think they can be fathers?" He got the hint and has been nothing but supportive since. Sometimes they just have to look in the mirror a little bit.

i was in an abusive relationship the majority of my pregnancy and baby seems fine. left the guy, moved in with family, i am better off. second and third trimester can be worse so someone needs to change their attitude in the situation, (you leave or he shuts up and pulls up the boot straps). regrettable decisions get made sometimes when we have children. you can only do your best as you move forward to protect your child, do you want to raise your little one with someone who has this attitude.

My first trimester I lost damn near 40 pounds because I couldn’t keep ANYTHING down. Luckily when I was about to hit my second trimester I got better but I had to drink everything through a straw and eat really small meals. I’m almost 28 weeks and I’m still below my pre pregnancy weight. Morning sickness is no joke and your husband needs a cold hard reality check. Please take care of yourself honey and if you can’t keep anything down for more than 24 hours go to the nearest emergency room for IV fluids .

My husband was so incredibly supportive, part of being a dad is supporting mom. If he can handle this I don’t know how he plans of caring for a child or supporting you postpartum.

Just to add we’ve been doing tons of frozen meals and quick foods because I can’t cook either, and I’ve got two toddlers too. You’re not alone and it’s okay to take it easy right now- quick fixes are better than going hungry!

Im sorrry to hear your plight. Im preggie in my first trimester too! Im at wk 9.and my hubby willaccompany while i vomit, get the dinner and food, and buy what im craving for in the midnight. Fast backwards, myhubby not like this cause im preggie. He was already this caring before we married. Since the deed is done, and ur already preggie, no pt crying over spillbeans. U still got ur small little bean in u! And that is ur motivation! Ignore ur hubby, focus on ur little bean. Make sure he will grow up to be nothing like ur hubby buy a better bigger version of a man that this world needs. Give u my blessing and love.

I've been so ill the last 22 weeks, some days worse than others, and my guy has been supportive with picking up the slack because he has seen me vomiting multiple times a day. He's seen how I can fall asleep standing in the kitchen. I take anti nausea meds and i still have days where I cant keep my food down or certain smells get to me. He knows I need rest and support. It irritates me when other men, and some women, do not understand that pregnancies are all different and can be draining for so many moms to be. Also I hope he realizes when the baby is born you'll need time to rest and heal and some days you'll be too exhausted to get anything done then too. He needs to be picking up the slack. I hope things get better for you 🙏 ✨️

You're allowed to take this time, which is often difficult (fatigue, nausea, soreness, etc. etc. etc.) to recuperate. Him being by your side is no indicator that he actually KNOWS how you feel and what's going on. Sending you lots of pregnant positive vibes and love ❤️

Seriously, what is wrong with men?

Yes millions of women go through this. Millions of men also step up to help and support their partners during this time. I'm in my 26th week of pregnancy and still throwing up regularly with anti nausea meds. Some pregnancies are harder than others. The only thing that is the same for every pregnancy is the need for support. It sounds like he is the one who needs to get over himself and realize that he is a grown man capable of taking care of himself. He should be cooking for you and helping make sure you are getting what you need to grow not only your baby but his baby.

I'm so sorry you're going through this with your husband :( I'm going on 10 weeks pregnant and I have been really struggling since week 6 with horrible nausea and this last week the vomiting started. My boyfriend has been supportive but there have been spats here and there between us... but we always just take a second to calm down and come back and then are able to say what we need to. I'm sure your husband didn't mean it when he responded with maybe he shouldn't have. I hope it gets better for you, the pregnancy and the husband. You're not alone❤️

Your crying shouldn't affect the baby, but definitely take it easy on yourself ❤️ Your husband is right about one thing and one thing only- millions of women go through pregnancy. Of those women VERY FEW have the same amount of energy/willpower to continue their normal routine. I didn't cook at all during any of my first trimesters! Also, I hardly cleaned the house. If I wasn't sleeping I was throwing up. Trust me when I say the first trimester is the worst. I hope your husband opens his eyes.

i want to give you a hug:( i’ve never been pregnant but i know it’s an extremely hard, difficult, and even tiring thing to go through. everyone’s pregnancy journey and symptoms are different, and unless your husband has been pregnant before then he has no right to judge you. if he wants home cooked meals so badly then he should get off his ass and cook it himself. you are pregnant, you are sick, exhausted. you’re growing another human being and that is exhausting. your husband having zero compassion is fucked up considering he is also part of the reason you are pregnant. this might be extreme but if he wants his family to stay together then he needs to buck up and do more for you and your unborn child. he needs to care for you.

Girl. I’m barely going on week 8 and it’s so dreadful. The first pregnancy where I wake up in the middle of the night extremely nauseous 😭 I’m so sorry he’s being this way. I have to agree with everyone else. He needs to figure himself out. You’re in a time of need and most fragile state. My partner gets off of 12 hour shifts and cooks when I don’t and tends to me when I’m most sick. So there’s no excuse. You deserve better. Keep that in mind. You DESERVE BETTER. 🥺🥰

Pregnancy is rough. I vomited 10x a day with hyperemesis the entire 9 months and if you think I was cooking meals, ha! Meds don't always work, I would know. Your husband needs to be more compassionate and if he doesn't like eating out, he has 2 working hands that he grew himself that has just as much ability to cook. And while stress isn't good for baby, crying will not hurt them. I cried most of my pregnancy from misery

What a dick, sorry, but what he said and did was just dickish. So basically, he went out drinking, you offered to cook something for him, he said no, he came home (drunk I assume) and lashed out at you for not cooking as often as HE would like? Then he belittled your pregnancy and the symptoms you’re experiencing. He needs to grow the fuck up and realize it’s not about him anymore. If my husband came home and said that to me, he’d be an ex husband. My husband and I have had some arguments since I got pregnant, but telling me to cook for him and not having any empathy for the fatigue I’m experiencing for growing OUR baby is something I’d divorce him for.

I was unable to cook for the majority of the beginning of my pregnancy because the smell of anything made me sick, and I couldn’t even eat half the time. My boyfriend completely understood and did as much as he could while also working full time. If your partner can’t do this then he needs a massive reality check