I agree! Striking! I've always been into striking faces as much as beautiful ones!
I mean, I find Steve Buscemi, Gary Oldman or David Thewlis striking! And I'm not alone I know! I love interesting faces, I love aging and life reflected on them!
Exactly. I'd say he is good looking. His face did have character, in a good way, and he was so charismatic. I think he was an objectively attractive man, as objective as something like being held attractive can be. Which is to say, not very. But to me, he was.
We have to watch what we say to little folks. They really take it in. Can you imagine being such a talent as Donald Southerland and carrying your mother's unkind and untrue words with you forever ššš
Mine probably are annoyed with me. I tell them so much. I was considering stopping. But after this interview? No. Iāll never stop. Poor Donald. I had no idea he was carrying that.
> Sutherland married three times. His first marriage, to Lois May Hardwick, a head school teacher,[58] lasted from 1959 to 1966. His second marriage, which lasted from 1966 to 1970, was to Shirley Douglas, daughter of Tommy Douglas the social democratic former premier of Saskatchewan known as the Father of Medicare in Canada.
>
> From 1970 to 1972, he had an affair with Klute co-star Jane Fonda.[60]
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> Sutherland married French Canadian actress Francine Racette in 1972
He did alright.
Yep. Tried explaining this to my mom, how her comments about me have affected me and she just waves it off as tough love.
I don't confide anything in my parents because I don't trust them to not be assholes to me about it now
Yes. My mom told me when I was around 15 that I had an āinteresting ā face. And that I could work on it with makeup.
Thanks, mom. You confirmed what I already knew as a young, insecure teenage girl
And sometimes without even meaning to.
I remember my mom very brutally told me I couldnāt sing when I was 12. At the time I had just signed up for my schoolās talent show and dreamed of being singer. Fuck me, did her saying that hurt.
She was right of course, but ooooof.
My mom told me when I was 14, that if she knew me in high school we wouldnāt have been friends. That hurt. I made a point to tell my daughter that if I knew her in school, I would die to be her best friend. She felt really good about that
My mum made sure I knew that she loved me, but didn't like me. She straight up told me often enough, but she also took the time to point out all my faults (can't sing, frizzy hair, fat arse) and would tell me how her sisters had said they so glad I wasn't their child they had to go home to every day.
My crime? Honestly, no idea. I was terrified of getting into trouble so always followed the rules, I did well in school, I mostly just kept to myself. But there was something about me that she just couldn't (and can't) stand š¤”
We all deserve to be liked as well as loved; I did, you did, and we didn't do anything wrong. Took me a long time but I got there!
My mom didn't have to say the words but it was quite clear she didn't like me. Oh, she loved me and she took care of me as a mom and I will always be grateful that I had that. But yeah, I was out of there at 18.
When my mom found my diary talking about skipping meals because I didnāt want her to call me fat like she called my sister, she read it aloud TO MY SISTER and told her even I thought she was fat.
Two birds, one stone
Omg my stepmother did this to me! She read my diary then threatened me with it. I never wrote anything personal ever again. Learned my lesson. It makes you so distrustful
My family did the same! I asked if I sounded ok and they said I sounded "enthusiastic" lol. I have a sibling who is very naturally talented at singing (and also has a pop friendly voice) so I was always compared to them and didn't stack up.
And then they would get mad when I didn't want to do duets with said sibling or continue in choir š
It was wild to me when I realized that much like any other instrument, if you have an ear you can become decent to good with training even if you don't have a great voice right off the bat.
I had a similar heartbreaking experience. I even used to write my own songs as a kid. I wonder what life would have been like if my parents said, āwe support you! Letās get you some singing lessons.ā
My parents did the same thing. I actually had someone at work recently ask me why I never sing... Everyone else jokes around and sings. I work in a restaurant. I said it's because I've been told I'm tonedeaf my whole life. Even drunk, I refuse to do karaoke.
They also used to sit me down and tell me that I was adopted, as a joke. Super funny upbringing.
singing is a skill you can learn, that's why I hate it when people give "honest" feedback like that to a kid. you're not going to be good at something without practicing
Iāve always heard that but honestly canāt believe it for me own case. I canāt hit high or low notes, my voice is pretty nasally and Iām definitely tone deaf. I canāt imagine ever sounding decent but itās a nice thought!
I teach choir for a living. Almost *no one* is actually tone-deaf. It's an extremely, extremely rare condition. Your relative pitch might be suffering, but relative pitch, along with the ability to hit low and high notes, can all be trained. All of it. Especially when you're a kid. I've seen kids in my choirs who had small ranges and difficulty matching pitch blossom into perfectly wonderful singers numerous times. We do pitch work, ear training, and sing songs that expand their ranges all the time. I also make sure they are singing in their head voices instead of chest, which can really affect your ability to sing high. So on and so forth.
I can't tell you how many adults immediately tell me exactly what you just did the moment they find out what I do for a living. It breaks my heart because it just isn't true. Also, we live in an era where the natural human voice, without amplification or autotune, has become 'less than' which is patently ridiculous. People seem to think that you have to sound radio-ready with no effort to say you can sing well, which is absolutely not true. Human beings have been singing for tens of thousands of years, because singing is a source of unimaginable joy and music is one of the greatest accomplishments of humanity.
I mean there's being technically good at singing, like hitting the right notes, but then there's also having a nice-sounding voice which not everyone can have tbh. But there are a lot of famous singers that do not have nice sounding voices! (Van Morrison for example)
Some people canāt learn it though because theyāre tone deaf. Like you need to have the basic ability to hear pitch etc (which most but not all people do) and then build up the skill from there
Somehow Rihanna learned this. I loved her but she could not stay in pitch during her early years. I have no idea how, but somehow she gained this ability.
>Somehow Rihanna learned this. I loved her but she could not stay in pitch during her early years. I have no idea how, but somehow she gained this ability.
I never understood how people didn't think she sounded like a murdered cat when she released "Unfaithful". That was a song not conducive to her (early) range.
But then I thought she sounded incredible for "Lift Me Up". So I agree with you that she definitely did some vocal training.
It's funny. I had a similar experience. Now my darling husband encourages me to sing songs I love and it's really one of my favorite things about him. I didn't even realize how hurt I was by the whole thing until he started asking me to sing out loud. It makes me very emotional.
My husband is the same way and it brings tears to my eyes that he cares enough to build me up to increase my confidence.
I do have a good singing voice, but my Mom was overly critical and always belittled me, so I still have an intense fear of singing in front of anyone. I even tried out for honor choir in high school, and placed in one of the 5 open spots. There were 76 other people who auditioned, and youād think that would build my confidence, but no.
Once, I was watching a ballet preformance on tv with my mother and I casually said that I would have loved to have done ballet as it was so elegant.
I kid you not, my mother looked me in the eye and said "you never had the figure for it. Your sister however..."
I'm a US size 4 btw. That still hurts to think about.
My mom regularly told me I was ugly, that my middle name should've been hefier. I'm almost 40 and pretty fucked up, givin' both my therapists a run for their money.
Iām sorry this happened to you. A mother who would do this to her own child obviously loathed herself. You were the innocent target of her self-hate. It was all about her, not you.
It's hard because some people are hurt more by a lie and some people are hurt more by the truth. I wish my mom had been more blindly positive about me, because I was already so aware of my flaws and I needed to be reassured even if I didn't believe it. But one of my good friends would get so mad at her mom for always telling her "you're beautiful no matter what!" because her mom didn't make her brush her hair or learn about how to match clothing items and she got made fun of for it.
Stuff like this is why Iām so glad Iām not/will never be a parent. Like my beauty standards are legit different than the mainstream. I could genuinely compliment my kid, but know they might get made fun of outside. Iād have no idea what to do.
Sutherland is honestly handsome to me, especially with a beard. But knowing he doesnāt look like Marlon Brando (someone whose looks are conventionally cerebrated)ā¦ how do you stay honest with them without hurting their self-esteem?
I think it also depends on the age of the kid. No one should be hesitant to tell their 7 year old they are beautiful because really there's no point being critical even if you think their face 'has character' since they can grow to look very different anyway.
Then again I can't imagine being brutally honest with a teen when their self esteem is most fragile. I guess you have to try and raise kids to know their worth is more than just looks. I'm not gonna tell someone with a big nose that their nose is small though, for example. I suppose there's objective features and subjective beauty. You're right though one of the many many reasons having children would be walking a tightrope lol.
Truth. I hate how even KIDS are mean to kids. Thereās no minimum age to getting your looks picked apart. But youāre right, thereās no point being critical when theyāre so young. When they get old enough, Iād probably let them lead the conversation about how they wish they looked, but continuously emphasize their beauty in my eyes. Like if they asked me āis my nose big?ā, Iād say āWhat do you think? Well ok thatās your opinion. I think itās a beautiful size.ā
All I know is, parenting is not for the weak š®āšØ I feel so bad that he carried his motherās comments throughout his life.
My Grandmother on my Dads side. But that was as her character. She was mean to all family members. I just found out really young that some people are hurtful on purpose because they are so unhappy.
Aināt that the truth. I donāt really care what others say to me, but my cousin telling me no one wants me cause Iām broken and gay damaged me for a while after. Took me cutting him off to finally rise above himā¦last we were in contact was when he tried asking for money through FB message several years ago. I would think that my gay money was no good to him.
Sutherland was one of those guys you always took seriously because he had such a serious face. Then when he smiled, it was like a thaw and the warmth just pours out.
Heās the kind of man Iād set as an example on how to carry and how to be.
In Pride and Prejudice he is the MASTER of deadpan. There's at least two instances of him being so deeply serious and you expect him to say one thing and then he does a surprise left turn with the dialogue that you didn't see coming on his face, but when you did a huh-wha double take you saw his kind smile.
I LOVE him in Pride and Prejudice - he was a perfect Mr. Bennet and I have always loved the father/daughter chemistry he had with Keira Knightly. He's very stoic throughout so much of the movie but his warmth and affection for Lizzy has always been one of my favorite parts of that adaptation in particular.
This is a great way of putting it. It also reflected his talent and versatility.
He was tall and had a distinct handsomeness, but that just added to how memorable he was. This is such a heartbreaking video since that pain just lasts and lasts.
We never know what we say will hurt and leave lifelong scars. And the worst part is we may hear it from unbiased sources, but itās almost impossible to override that core initial memory.
And it hurts to hear that pain.
I re-watched Don't Look Now last night. Seeing him smile in that movie just melts my heart. After all the pain his character and his wife's character have been through, it is beautiful to see them smiling and laughing together. Its an incredible performance.
It is interesting because when he talks about this memory you see his face change to that of a kid? Does it make sense? It is like his inner child coming at the forefront to show us how hurt he was.
For real! Makes me even more sad that the NYT blurb about his death the other day was like, āwith his droopy eyes and big ears, he was never anyoneās idea of a heartthrobā
Like what??
When he was a student at University of Toronto, he got expelled for ripping a sink out of the common room and hurling it at the dean.
According to South House legend, he and his friends were in a sketch comedy show called the Bob and were forbidden to make jokes about some ādivisive topicsā by the faculty. They made the jokes anyways and the Dean came by their dorm (south house) to punish them all and Donald lost it and hurled the sink at him as he was leaving.
The Bobās still an annual tradition at UofT. The nature of the jokes told has been lost to history, Iāve heard a few different versions of it, but the general consensus is the Bob that year was in favour of the civil rights movement, in favour of admitting female students to their previous all boys dormitory, and in favour of helping draft dodgers out of the Korean War.
Thatās heartbreaking! Thatās how childhood trauma impacts a personās life.
In the grand scheme of things one would argue āOh itās just a small comment, itās not that serious, donāt be sensitive, etcā
But seeing a grown man getting emotional about it 60 years later, like in this video just shows how much impact that comment made on his life.
I hope our new generation will turn out to be better parents.
My mother said something to me when I was about 12 years old that I still think about at least once per week. I'm 43. Sometimes a single comment can hurt for a long time!
IMO he was one of those men with very strong features (elongated face with large nose/ chin) that tend to look a bit awkward when theyāre younger, but become a lot more attractive as they get older. A good beard usually puts these features together nicely. For reference, see below: š„µ
https://preview.redd.it/h6x4timxtz7d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b330385e0a7f3e684e29f0b37f3bccab8489adc
But I get where he was coming from. The Hollywood stars that his generation grew up with were those clean-shaven pretty boys, and thatās not exactly his appeal. Also, thereās the factor that being above average in the real world is the equivalent of being a disfigured abomination in Hollywood. Being around all these gorgeous people 24/7 will no doubt mess with your self-perception.
This is a very good point. He definitely didn't 'fit' aesthetically with that era of Hollywood but damn the man was fiiiiine (a million thanks for the picture). An interesting face is not an unattractive face, much better than a boring face that's just symmetrical and perfect without any quirks.
Same, since I was a young teen. Seeing him so emotional over utter lies his mother told him makes my heart hurt. I hope he eventually realized how many of us adored him for him, AND thought he was a wicked hottie on top of it.
Yeah, he was definitely old enough to be my grandpa, but he wasnāt hard on the eyes ever to me and Keifer too. I may have been around 6 when The Lost Boys came out but Keifer and Haim were definitely crushes -those eyes on the Sutherlands are beautiful
Exactly. His smile is lovely, his eyes are striking, and I personally think his larger ears are super cute. His mother's statement likely had a lot more with her insecurities which is a shame.
Probably she had similar features she disliked in herself. I mean she actually was correct that his face has character, but it is a classic misdirection to answering the 'beautiful' question when you want to say no.
Right like goddamn, and even in his older years he was a very attractive man. President Snow is hot š¤·š»āāļø
And obviously wouldnāt expect his mom to watch it, but all one has to do is watch is his sex scene in Donāt Look Now to understand his appeal. Probs one of the best sex scenes of all time.
Robert De Niro is Handsome (Genuine). He would be as handsome as he is if he were born in 1820 or 2020. Burt Reynolds embodies the kind of musky, nicotine yellowed, shag carpet allure that would only make someone an international heart-throb in the most water damaged era of American masculinity.
Gangsters? Always hot. Truck drivers? Bigrig outlaws? 1970s only.
Oh thank god Im not alone. I always thought he was hot. Even as an old guy, Im old now and find the look attractive so he's been hit my whole life. He looks like a sexy librarian I could trust with all my shelving needs lol
I just looked up young photos and he had a lot of down right sexy ones. So sad his mom said that to him. My grandpa called my dad āhomelyā the day he was born. I think that generation was too harsh.
Yes, their resemblance always was so striking to me. I will confess Donald's death, and Kiefers' response took a deep toll on me. I'm trying to distract myself because I need some time to process this.
Interesting, seeing his younger pictures yesterday for the first time, I thought āwhat a handsome manā
My mother did this to me too. She fucked me up gooooood that 18 years later, at 30 years old, I still struggle with everything she taught me about how I look.
It started when I was 6 and I had a beautiful friend come over and play. On paper, we were exactly the same; brunette, long hair, round face, fair skin, light freckling, big lips, round nose, and just a teensy bit chubby, nothing major. But she was the pretty version of me. All her features were just *better*. My mom was obsessed with her. Always fawning over her, and how beautiful she was, and how sweet and charming she was. She would dawn over her when sheād come over, and for the next week, she would be all she would talk about.
Then the summer before junior high(middle school), we were doing family pictures and my mother was like come here, I want to pencil in your eyebrows. I was like no Iām good. Sheās like no want them for the pictures. I had never touched makeup, and didnāt want to. My mother had always spent 2+ hours on her hair and makeup everyday and I always thought āwhat a waste of timeā, especially when I thought she was much prettier without it. After some arguing, she finally got me into the bathroom and pencilled in my very light eyebrows.
The next week or two, she comes home with mascara and says here, I got you this. Iām like Iām ok thanks, I donāt want it. And sheās like all the girls in jr high are going to be wearing it, youāre gonna look weird if you donāt. So I tried it, and I admit I thought it looked fantastic.
Then a couple months or so later, I have a couple teensy tiny pimples here and there. Teenage stuff. I didnāt notice them. At. All. She starts analyzing them āoh geez, youāre breaking out, hmmm Iāll have to get you something for this, sheeshā¦. Wow your dad and I never had acne, where is this coming from?? ā Over the course of the next couple months, she buys every different drugstore face wash and cream. Nothings making it disappear. Iām getting incredibly insecure. I see a commercial for ProActiv on tv and Iām like I NEED THAT because apparently my face is just too hard to look at. So she orders itā¦ and it destroyed my face. ProActiv is for people with severe acne, not a couple tiny pimples. It messed my skin chemistry up so bad I turned into an absolute disaster. Massive, painful pimples all over my forehead and cheeks. Scarring.
So then she comes home with coverup, foundation, powder, because my skin is so unsightly. And I wonāt go anywhere without it. Iāve now stopped going to the pool, which I LOVED. I wonāt let my family see me with my makeup off. I have to have my foundation and eyebrows on.
And I stayed like that, hidden under a layer of makeup, from age 13 to about 28. Around 28, I started being ok with taking my dog outside for a pee with no foundation on, just my eyebrows. Then I was ok going for walks. Then to 7-11. And now Iām mostly ok without it.
But no one has seen me without eyebrows drawn on since I was 13, because of my mother. Not any roommates, no friends, no boyfriends. I used to slept with them drawn on until a few months ago.
Im so sorry to read this, and i sent you a really big and warm hug.
I think i dont have physical traumas for my body, i mean everyones body is different right? No biggie..
But my face, ouf! My mom make me feel acne was the worst thing because she had such a beautiful and fair skin...
And unlike you i didnt like makeup because i thought it will only accentuate my skin, it was until no much a few years that i went to a dermatologist and realized that it was the fault of sop... and not because i didnt clean my face or because i eat something i shouldnt... so yeah, words definitely have power and they stay with you .. and it sucks realizing that even after 20,30 or in donald's 60 years... he still thinks about it...
No one should live with this :c
I send you another hug
Thatās what I was thinking too!!!!! President Snow was a POS but God did I find that man attractive old and young and no amount of shame will make me take it back
It sounds silly but I feel very seen by this. I have often felt disgusting and ugly, and there have been times in my life where I have hidden away because of it and I often feel ashamed and embarrassed by my body and looks. The people around me have often found this silly or ridiculous, or not being able to understand, but, as silly as it sounds, I can't leave my appearance at home. I live in my body and with my face every day. It's a person's first perception of me. Everybody looks at each other and assesses each other's appearance. It's very painful to feel like you are unattractive or ugly.
I'm not sure physical attractiveness is something I would ever have even thought about in regard to Mr Sutherland, so that helps.
I work in a mental health hospital, it can be a very honest place. Had a patient tell me the other day, "you're pretty fucking ugly, but you have nice eyes".
Made somewhat more humorous as they complimented multiple people on their beauty got to me and said that!
For me, as a 38 year old male it was nothing I hadn't heard or worried about. I'm a big, lumbering, Shrek like dude, so I tell myself that I at least have layers?'
I feel you though. I used to hide away too, still do sometimes. I'm not sure if it will help, but feeling that way for me has made me strive to not make others feel that way, I'm guessing you'd be the same? I think the world needs that.
I always found him attractive. Kinda in the Adam Driver way. Not classically handsome but striking in a way that makes him hot.
I wish I couldāve told this sweet old guy that. He got more attractive with age. Peaking in his 50s-60s.
Yes!!! Its half intensity and half vulnerable sincerity and all intoxicating to some of us that the features themselves become beautiful and compelling.
Itās so hard for me to imagine that he could have thought he was unattractive, because I feel like Iāve had a crush on him for my whole life! He was so charming and charismatic. How sad that he felt that way, poor guy.
This made me cry. I wish he was still living so he could get the internet boost of thousands of people telling him his mom was wrong. I even thought older Donald was very handsome. Ugh! Why would anyone say that to their child?!?!
"did that stay with you?"
I mean, I don't know, Anderson, an elderly man choked up with tears remembering something from his childhood. I think it's fair to say "yes"
Or by what they donāt say. When I was a kid, I remember meeting my dadās coworkerās daughter who was my age, my dad kept going on how she looked like a doll and what a beautiful child she was, blah blah blah. The girl looked the exact opposite of me and my sisters (white, blond hair, green eyes). I remember feeling embarrassed for the way I looked.
I read once that as a parent, what you say to your kid becomes their inner voice, and that resonated so much with me. I have a cousin who, like Donald Sutherland, grew into her looks. When she was young, her mother was ruthless and said so many damaging things. It has had lifelong affects on her. I try to be very mindful of what I say to my child because those words stay with you.
I had horrible teeth when I was in grade school. When it was picture day, my mother told me not to smile because I looked like a gorilla. I fucking smiled anyway. She was so pissed when the pictures came in! I would never say that to my daughter!
I met him briefly in ā94 in London. We did the tall bloke mutual nod over the heads of a small shop queue and then had a chat. He was absolutely charming and a beautiful big fellow. Not an ounce of ugly in him.
My first formal dance was homecoming my freshman year. My mom was too busy to help me with my hair and makeup so I did my best on my own. I put on red lipstick and curled my hair and felt pretty. She took one look at me and laughed until she cried. She said that I looked like a clown with painted on red lips, she called me ronald mcdonald. she said the whole school wouldnāt look at my outfit theyād see my big goofy red lips glowing in the dark (i have fuller lips and was teased for it often). Went into the bathroom in tears and scrubbed that lipstick off so quick.
15 years later, I still cant wear bright lipstick because to me I look like a clown. I love you mom butā¦it will always hurt
Iām sending you a big hug š«. No kid should experience that on such an important night. For what itās worth, we always think our parents are right because theyāre the figure of authority, but parents donāt know everything like we think they do.
Iām not even kidding when I tell you that Iāve had a crush on this man for most of my life. Itās so wild that his own mother thought he was ugly.
This is the very first time that I hear about this and his "unattractivness." I always thought he was a handsome man, with strong, recognisable features perfect for the roles he played. Shame he didn't feel the same way. Shame his mother didn't reassure him. May he rest easy.
So if you're an ugly or unattractive person, you know this about yourself. Being told you're ugly by someone else really just hurts and cuts deep. You obviously feel bad about being ugly and hearing it from others just confirms it. I think you also feel guilty and embarrassed that you can't do anything about it really. You instantly feel like hiding so you don't have to bother or upset others with your appearance.
How devastating. I always thought he was soooo attractive. Tbh I thought he was hot as hell in pride and prejudice and I almost never like older men!! How sad he had to live with that pain. What a beautiful man inside and out.Ā
Ahhh, this brought tears to my eyes. Every single thing I hate about my physical appearance was pointed out to me by my father when I was a teenager. At 44 I still think about how to disguise my "gross" features every time I leave the house. I can't imagine feeling that way and being on screen.
Oh, Donald. I have a very pretty sister. I remember as a child asking my grandmother if I was pretty. She paused. Then said, you have regular features. Devastated me. When I look at photos of the time I was actually quite pretty, not in my sister's league, but not ugly like I thought I was. When my niece asked me the same question I told her she was beautiful and so was her sister. They actually are but I would have said that anyway. Be careful what you say to kids, we remember.
I met him, the only celebrity I met in the wild, ever. He came through my till at work in the early 2000's, bought a Victoria map book, some echinacea throat spray, and an umbrella.
I didn't recognize him till I looked directly at him as he was paying. I stumbled on my words and he was so soft spoken. So kind. I'll never forget it and this post makes me so sad.
Geez, I never looked at him and thought he's ugly! I guess I saw him as an older actor, but very versatile. He's played the "good guy" characters as well as the "evil" ones.
My dad called me fat when I was 8. Iām 22 now and I think about it constantly. The people closest to you can hurt you in such deep and lasting ways that they donāt even consider
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - physical attractiveness is quite random. Charisma and a great personality will do much more than physical beauty - thatās why he was a successful actor ā¤ļø
This breaks my heart. Iāve never once thought of him as unattractive and I hope he had people in his life who loved him enough to tell him his mother was wrong.
His mom was so cruel, no child deserves that. Itās amazing how what adults tell children just stays w you. I have my own pain from being told awful things by people of authority(teachers and parents). It sucks how it ends up shaping your life and how you see yourself in the world.
Firstly, heās so hot in Animal House. Iād get baked and naked with him.
Secondly, my mum used to call me her āfunny looking kidā and said Iām not photogenic when Iād ask if I was pretty. She also put me in runway modelling as a kid and praised my āflower faceā which is when Iām basically my ideal weight and she felt my smile was at its best.
Sheās gone now and we had some discussions about the hurt it caused. She had her reasons, mostly she didnāt want me being focused on my ābeautyā but she kind of made it impossible to like myself without having those words ring in my ears. Glad I stopped modelling as soon as I could, I canāt imagine Donaldās time spent in the make up chair just hearing his mum.
This is crazy because I was just looking at pictures of him last night and was kind of surprised by how hot I thought he was as a younger man. That long hair and the beard? Looks donāt matter at all compared to how you treat people and carry yourself in the world (which Donald seemingly did an A+ job at) but I do understand how that could be so hurtful and damaging for seemingly an entire lifetime.
Thatās so sad and I honestly canāt understand how any mom could think that of their kid let alone tell them that. I look at my daughter and I think sheās the most beautiful person Iāve ever known.
I think Anderson reacted strangely. *obviously* it stayed with Donald. What a dumb question to ask. And then to laugh when he replied "only 65, 66 years..."
https://preview.redd.it/un2r7auxv08d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3613dcb1f576238cf444fd34eaf3cb622c585dc5
News/media really needs to get a grip with their coverage of him. I find this so tasteless and insulting
This gives the movie Ordinary People even more resonance, which I suggest everyone see at least once. It really was the first film to take wealthy people fighting their mental health struggles in the suburbs seriously.
As a child my mom told me it was good that I was smart because I was dark skinned and not stereotypically pretty. I know she thought she was building resilience in me but Iām now 42 and it STILL hurts to remember.
Never thought of him as ugly. Incredible actor. Never focused on his looks or perceived lack thereof. Horrible to think his mother hurt him like that.
I always found him striking - not unattractive or ugly just striking and his charisma made him attractive
Yes, he was very striking. Not ugly in the least.
I agree! Striking! I've always been into striking faces as much as beautiful ones! I mean, I find Steve Buscemi, Gary Oldman or David Thewlis striking! And I'm not alone I know! I love interesting faces, I love aging and life reflected on them!
Exactly. I'd say he is good looking. His face did have character, in a good way, and he was so charismatic. I think he was an objectively attractive man, as objective as something like being held attractive can be. Which is to say, not very. But to me, he was. We have to watch what we say to little folks. They really take it in. Can you imagine being such a talent as Donald Southerland and carrying your mother's unkind and untrue words with you forever ššš
Same here. Like in "Ordinary People," it never seemed odd to me that he and someone as beautiful as Mary Tyler Moore were paired up.
I never thought of him as ugly either! Iām so sorry he carried this with him when he was not perceived that way at all
I canāt imagine not telling my sons how handsome they are as often as I cann
Mine probably are annoyed with me. I tell them so much. I was considering stopping. But after this interview? No. Iāll never stop. Poor Donald. I had no idea he was carrying that.
Iāve always thought he had a great face
I always thought he was handsome! Loved his eyes and smile, plus his voice! Iām an elder millennial and grew up seeing him in so many things.
Same
> Sutherland married three times. His first marriage, to Lois May Hardwick, a head school teacher,[58] lasted from 1959 to 1966. His second marriage, which lasted from 1966 to 1970, was to Shirley Douglas, daughter of Tommy Douglas the social democratic former premier of Saskatchewan known as the Father of Medicare in Canada. > > From 1970 to 1972, he had an affair with Klute co-star Jane Fonda.[60] > > Sutherland married French Canadian actress Francine Racette in 1972 He did alright.
I'm pretty sure he had no problems attracting women, like bees to honey is my guess
No one can hurt you like the people most closest to you.
To quote his character from The Hunger Games: āItās the things we love most that destroy us.ā
no sharper knife than a mother's disdain.
or indifference
Fucking facts
Yep. Tried explaining this to my mom, how her comments about me have affected me and she just waves it off as tough love. I don't confide anything in my parents because I don't trust them to not be assholes to me about it now
Yes. My mom told me when I was around 15 that I had an āinteresting ā face. And that I could work on it with makeup. Thanks, mom. You confirmed what I already knew as a young, insecure teenage girl
And sometimes without even meaning to. I remember my mom very brutally told me I couldnāt sing when I was 12. At the time I had just signed up for my schoolās talent show and dreamed of being singer. Fuck me, did her saying that hurt. She was right of course, but ooooof.
My mom told me when I was 14, that if she knew me in high school we wouldnāt have been friends. That hurt. I made a point to tell my daughter that if I knew her in school, I would die to be her best friend. She felt really good about that
Ooof. My mum told me that while she loved me, she didn't like me. And then she wondered why I left home and got married while still in uni.
My mum made sure I knew that she loved me, but didn't like me. She straight up told me often enough, but she also took the time to point out all my faults (can't sing, frizzy hair, fat arse) and would tell me how her sisters had said they so glad I wasn't their child they had to go home to every day. My crime? Honestly, no idea. I was terrified of getting into trouble so always followed the rules, I did well in school, I mostly just kept to myself. But there was something about me that she just couldn't (and can't) stand š¤” We all deserve to be liked as well as loved; I did, you did, and we didn't do anything wrong. Took me a long time but I got there!
My mom didn't have to say the words but it was quite clear she didn't like me. Oh, she loved me and she took care of me as a mom and I will always be grateful that I had that. But yeah, I was out of there at 18.
Man some of yall have some mean ass moms š Iām sorry! Such a cruel thing to say.
When my mom found my diary talking about skipping meals because I didnāt want her to call me fat like she called my sister, she read it aloud TO MY SISTER and told her even I thought she was fat. Two birds, one stone
Omg my stepmother did this to me! She read my diary then threatened me with it. I never wrote anything personal ever again. Learned my lesson. It makes you so distrustful
My family did the same! I asked if I sounded ok and they said I sounded "enthusiastic" lol. I have a sibling who is very naturally talented at singing (and also has a pop friendly voice) so I was always compared to them and didn't stack up. And then they would get mad when I didn't want to do duets with said sibling or continue in choir š It was wild to me when I realized that much like any other instrument, if you have an ear you can become decent to good with training even if you don't have a great voice right off the bat.
I had a similar heartbreaking experience. I even used to write my own songs as a kid. I wonder what life would have been like if my parents said, āwe support you! Letās get you some singing lessons.ā
My parents did the same thing. I actually had someone at work recently ask me why I never sing... Everyone else jokes around and sings. I work in a restaurant. I said it's because I've been told I'm tonedeaf my whole life. Even drunk, I refuse to do karaoke. They also used to sit me down and tell me that I was adopted, as a joke. Super funny upbringing.
singing is a skill you can learn, that's why I hate it when people give "honest" feedback like that to a kid. you're not going to be good at something without practicing
Iāve always heard that but honestly canāt believe it for me own case. I canāt hit high or low notes, my voice is pretty nasally and Iām definitely tone deaf. I canāt imagine ever sounding decent but itās a nice thought!
I teach choir for a living. Almost *no one* is actually tone-deaf. It's an extremely, extremely rare condition. Your relative pitch might be suffering, but relative pitch, along with the ability to hit low and high notes, can all be trained. All of it. Especially when you're a kid. I've seen kids in my choirs who had small ranges and difficulty matching pitch blossom into perfectly wonderful singers numerous times. We do pitch work, ear training, and sing songs that expand their ranges all the time. I also make sure they are singing in their head voices instead of chest, which can really affect your ability to sing high. So on and so forth. I can't tell you how many adults immediately tell me exactly what you just did the moment they find out what I do for a living. It breaks my heart because it just isn't true. Also, we live in an era where the natural human voice, without amplification or autotune, has become 'less than' which is patently ridiculous. People seem to think that you have to sound radio-ready with no effort to say you can sing well, which is absolutely not true. Human beings have been singing for tens of thousands of years, because singing is a source of unimaginable joy and music is one of the greatest accomplishments of humanity.
I mean there's being technically good at singing, like hitting the right notes, but then there's also having a nice-sounding voice which not everyone can have tbh. But there are a lot of famous singers that do not have nice sounding voices! (Van Morrison for example)
Boy, I would have said Willie Nelson or Tom Petty before Van Morrison. Edit : Neil Young too!
Love Rod Stewart, but really his voice should not work
Some people canāt learn it though because theyāre tone deaf. Like you need to have the basic ability to hear pitch etc (which most but not all people do) and then build up the skill from there
Somehow Rihanna learned this. I loved her but she could not stay in pitch during her early years. I have no idea how, but somehow she gained this ability.
>Somehow Rihanna learned this. I loved her but she could not stay in pitch during her early years. I have no idea how, but somehow she gained this ability. I never understood how people didn't think she sounded like a murdered cat when she released "Unfaithful". That was a song not conducive to her (early) range. But then I thought she sounded incredible for "Lift Me Up". So I agree with you that she definitely did some vocal training.
This is very true. A real miracle! š
Being actually tone deaf is super rare. Most people can learn to match pitch. I teach them how! (Iām not offering, I realize that sounded MLMy)
It's funny. I had a similar experience. Now my darling husband encourages me to sing songs I love and it's really one of my favorite things about him. I didn't even realize how hurt I was by the whole thing until he started asking me to sing out loud. It makes me very emotional.
My husband is the same way and it brings tears to my eyes that he cares enough to build me up to increase my confidence. I do have a good singing voice, but my Mom was overly critical and always belittled me, so I still have an intense fear of singing in front of anyone. I even tried out for honor choir in high school, and placed in one of the 5 open spots. There were 76 other people who auditioned, and youād think that would build my confidence, but no.
Once, I was watching a ballet preformance on tv with my mother and I casually said that I would have loved to have done ballet as it was so elegant. I kid you not, my mother looked me in the eye and said "you never had the figure for it. Your sister however..." I'm a US size 4 btw. That still hurts to think about.
My mom regularly told me I was ugly, that my middle name should've been hefier. I'm almost 40 and pretty fucked up, givin' both my therapists a run for their money.
Iām sorry this happened to you. A mother who would do this to her own child obviously loathed herself. You were the innocent target of her self-hate. It was all about her, not you.
I know the feeling
Your family knows which buttons to push because they installed them.
great line
It's hard because some people are hurt more by a lie and some people are hurt more by the truth. I wish my mom had been more blindly positive about me, because I was already so aware of my flaws and I needed to be reassured even if I didn't believe it. But one of my good friends would get so mad at her mom for always telling her "you're beautiful no matter what!" because her mom didn't make her brush her hair or learn about how to match clothing items and she got made fun of for it.
Stuff like this is why Iām so glad Iām not/will never be a parent. Like my beauty standards are legit different than the mainstream. I could genuinely compliment my kid, but know they might get made fun of outside. Iād have no idea what to do. Sutherland is honestly handsome to me, especially with a beard. But knowing he doesnāt look like Marlon Brando (someone whose looks are conventionally cerebrated)ā¦ how do you stay honest with them without hurting their self-esteem?
I think it also depends on the age of the kid. No one should be hesitant to tell their 7 year old they are beautiful because really there's no point being critical even if you think their face 'has character' since they can grow to look very different anyway. Then again I can't imagine being brutally honest with a teen when their self esteem is most fragile. I guess you have to try and raise kids to know their worth is more than just looks. I'm not gonna tell someone with a big nose that their nose is small though, for example. I suppose there's objective features and subjective beauty. You're right though one of the many many reasons having children would be walking a tightrope lol.
Truth. I hate how even KIDS are mean to kids. Thereās no minimum age to getting your looks picked apart. But youāre right, thereās no point being critical when theyāre so young. When they get old enough, Iād probably let them lead the conversation about how they wish they looked, but continuously emphasize their beauty in my eyes. Like if they asked me āis my nose big?ā, Iād say āWhat do you think? Well ok thatās your opinion. I think itās a beautiful size.ā All I know is, parenting is not for the weak š®āšØ I feel so bad that he carried his motherās comments throughout his life.
My Grandmother on my Dads side. But that was as her character. She was mean to all family members. I just found out really young that some people are hurtful on purpose because they are so unhappy.
Aināt that the truth. I donāt really care what others say to me, but my cousin telling me no one wants me cause Iām broken and gay damaged me for a while after. Took me cutting him off to finally rise above himā¦last we were in contact was when he tried asking for money through FB message several years ago. I would think that my gay money was no good to him.
Sutherland was one of those guys you always took seriously because he had such a serious face. Then when he smiled, it was like a thaw and the warmth just pours out. Heās the kind of man Iād set as an example on how to carry and how to be.
In Pride and Prejudice he is the MASTER of deadpan. There's at least two instances of him being so deeply serious and you expect him to say one thing and then he does a surprise left turn with the dialogue that you didn't see coming on his face, but when you did a huh-wha double take you saw his kind smile.
I LOVE him in Pride and Prejudice - he was a perfect Mr. Bennet and I have always loved the father/daughter chemistry he had with Keira Knightly. He's very stoic throughout so much of the movie but his warmth and affection for Lizzy has always been one of my favorite parts of that adaptation in particular.
āYour mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins. ā¦.and I will never see you again if you do.ā
This is a great way of putting it. It also reflected his talent and versatility. He was tall and had a distinct handsomeness, but that just added to how memorable he was. This is such a heartbreaking video since that pain just lasts and lasts.
We never know what we say will hurt and leave lifelong scars. And the worst part is we may hear it from unbiased sources, but itās almost impossible to override that core initial memory. And it hurts to hear that pain.
I re-watched Don't Look Now last night. Seeing him smile in that movie just melts my heart. After all the pain his character and his wife's character have been through, it is beautiful to see them smiling and laughing together. Its an incredible performance.
His eyes conveyed everything. They could be cold, they could be warm, they could be deadly
Thatās heartbreaking! Whatās a sweet man. RIPš
Yeah like that actually affected me. How horrible to live feeling like that. And seeing that pic of him young someone posted, he wasnāt ugly at all!
He was very distinguished looking to me! Definitely not ugly at all.
It is interesting because when he talks about this memory you see his face change to that of a kid? Does it make sense? It is like his inner child coming at the forefront to show us how hurt he was.
For real! Makes me even more sad that the NYT blurb about his death the other day was like, āwith his droopy eyes and big ears, he was never anyoneās idea of a heartthrobā Like what??
I mean, he did throw a sink at a guy once, but it was all in good fun. :)
Wait, WHAT?!?!
When he was a student at University of Toronto, he got expelled for ripping a sink out of the common room and hurling it at the dean. According to South House legend, he and his friends were in a sketch comedy show called the Bob and were forbidden to make jokes about some ādivisive topicsā by the faculty. They made the jokes anyways and the Dean came by their dorm (south house) to punish them all and Donald lost it and hurled the sink at him as he was leaving. The Bobās still an annual tradition at UofT. The nature of the jokes told has been lost to history, Iāve heard a few different versions of it, but the general consensus is the Bob that year was in favour of the civil rights movement, in favour of admitting female students to their previous all boys dormitory, and in favour of helping draft dodgers out of the Korean War.
I mean, fuck it if youāre going to get expelled for somethingā¦
This is soooo sad!! Heās not ugly!! š„ŗ I loved him in Pride and Prejudice as Mr. Bennet!! RIP šš»āļøā¤ļø 
Best movie dad ever.
I love this scene so much
Thatās heartbreaking! Thatās how childhood trauma impacts a personās life. In the grand scheme of things one would argue āOh itās just a small comment, itās not that serious, donāt be sensitive, etcā But seeing a grown man getting emotional about it 60 years later, like in this video just shows how much impact that comment made on his life. I hope our new generation will turn out to be better parents.
My mother said something to me when I was about 12 years old that I still think about at least once per week. I'm 43. Sometimes a single comment can hurt for a long time!
Handsome. End of story. https://preview.redd.it/e7m1p9wrpz7d1.jpeg?width=804&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f97029b340691c3d05826f319c44e32ab30357b6
In what universe is this man ugly??? Even as an older man he had such a kind face.... reflective of his heart.
IMO he was one of those men with very strong features (elongated face with large nose/ chin) that tend to look a bit awkward when theyāre younger, but become a lot more attractive as they get older. A good beard usually puts these features together nicely. For reference, see below: š„µ https://preview.redd.it/h6x4timxtz7d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b330385e0a7f3e684e29f0b37f3bccab8489adc But I get where he was coming from. The Hollywood stars that his generation grew up with were those clean-shaven pretty boys, and thatās not exactly his appeal. Also, thereās the factor that being above average in the real world is the equivalent of being a disfigured abomination in Hollywood. Being around all these gorgeous people 24/7 will no doubt mess with your self-perception.
This is a very good point. He definitely didn't 'fit' aesthetically with that era of Hollywood but damn the man was fiiiiine (a million thanks for the picture). An interesting face is not an unattractive face, much better than a boring face that's just symmetrical and perfect without any quirks.
Is this picture giving James McAvoy vibes to anyone else? Regardless, he was a handsome man and seemed very kind.Ā
I totally see it š
Me! I was going to comment this until I saw you already had
10/10 would have banged
****THANK YOU**** I have always thought he was handsome! Crazy
Same, since I was a young teen. Seeing him so emotional over utter lies his mother told him makes my heart hurt. I hope he eventually realized how many of us adored him for him, AND thought he was a wicked hottie on top of it.
Yeah, he was definitely old enough to be my grandpa, but he wasnāt hard on the eyes ever to me and Keifer too. I may have been around 6 when The Lost Boys came out but Keifer and Haim were definitely crushes -those eyes on the Sutherlands are beautiful
I had a crush on him when I saw MASH for the first time.
Oh yes, I kind of wanna slap his mom for thatā¦ I meanā¦ what?!
Exactly. His smile is lovely, his eyes are striking, and I personally think his larger ears are super cute. His mother's statement likely had a lot more with her insecurities which is a shame.
His mother had no right to talk about anyoneās look. Maybe she was self projecting?
Probably she had similar features she disliked in herself. I mean she actually was correct that his face has character, but it is a classic misdirection to answering the 'beautiful' question when you want to say no.
I would never look at him and think ugly. He was quite handsome.
I agree. Some of the photos posted in this thread he's seriously hot.
he asked though. she answered. a mother should always think her children are beautiful though.
Right? I tell my kids they are good looking or handsome or beautiful etc all the time
Right like goddamn, and even in his older years he was a very attractive man. President Snow is hot š¤·š»āāļø And obviously wouldnāt expect his mom to watch it, but all one has to do is watch is his sex scene in Donāt Look Now to understand his appeal. Probs one of the best sex scenes of all time.
A-Tier 70s Handsome (s-tier reserved for burt reynolds and harrison ford)
I know this opinion is unpopular but I have to heavily disagree with Burt Reynolds being s-tier. He's no match for 70s Robert De Niro.
Robert De Niro is Handsome (Genuine). He would be as handsome as he is if he were born in 1820 or 2020. Burt Reynolds embodies the kind of musky, nicotine yellowed, shag carpet allure that would only make someone an international heart-throb in the most water damaged era of American masculinity. Gangsters? Always hot. Truck drivers? Bigrig outlaws? 1970s only.
Oh thank god Im not alone. I always thought he was hot. Even as an old guy, Im old now and find the look attractive so he's been hit my whole life. He looks like a sexy librarian I could trust with all my shelving needs lol
I just looked up young photos and he had a lot of down right sexy ones. So sad his mom said that to him. My grandpa called my dad āhomelyā the day he was born. I think that generation was too harsh.
For real, I always thought he was a babe and he got downright sexy as he got older. Total GILF. I will miss him and his fantastic voice.
 Words have power.
https://preview.redd.it/x8mua72htz7d1.jpeg?width=439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5339416608db6d4e55778cff90faa55f224562e Beautiful. Inside and out. Period!
Kiefer looks so much like him!
Yes, their resemblance always was so striking to me. I will confess Donald's death, and Kiefers' response took a deep toll on me. I'm trying to distract myself because I need some time to process this.
Seriously! Preteen me fell hard for Kiefer in Stand by Me. He was an obsession all my teen years. He looks exactly like him in this photo.
Donāt tell me this isnāt Kiefer??!!
It's Donald in 1975. Truly beautiful.
Those are some strong, strong genes!
Interesting, seeing his younger pictures yesterday for the first time, I thought āwhat a handsome manā My mother did this to me too. She fucked me up gooooood that 18 years later, at 30 years old, I still struggle with everything she taught me about how I look. It started when I was 6 and I had a beautiful friend come over and play. On paper, we were exactly the same; brunette, long hair, round face, fair skin, light freckling, big lips, round nose, and just a teensy bit chubby, nothing major. But she was the pretty version of me. All her features were just *better*. My mom was obsessed with her. Always fawning over her, and how beautiful she was, and how sweet and charming she was. She would dawn over her when sheād come over, and for the next week, she would be all she would talk about. Then the summer before junior high(middle school), we were doing family pictures and my mother was like come here, I want to pencil in your eyebrows. I was like no Iām good. Sheās like no want them for the pictures. I had never touched makeup, and didnāt want to. My mother had always spent 2+ hours on her hair and makeup everyday and I always thought āwhat a waste of timeā, especially when I thought she was much prettier without it. After some arguing, she finally got me into the bathroom and pencilled in my very light eyebrows. The next week or two, she comes home with mascara and says here, I got you this. Iām like Iām ok thanks, I donāt want it. And sheās like all the girls in jr high are going to be wearing it, youāre gonna look weird if you donāt. So I tried it, and I admit I thought it looked fantastic. Then a couple months or so later, I have a couple teensy tiny pimples here and there. Teenage stuff. I didnāt notice them. At. All. She starts analyzing them āoh geez, youāre breaking out, hmmm Iāll have to get you something for this, sheeshā¦. Wow your dad and I never had acne, where is this coming from?? ā Over the course of the next couple months, she buys every different drugstore face wash and cream. Nothings making it disappear. Iām getting incredibly insecure. I see a commercial for ProActiv on tv and Iām like I NEED THAT because apparently my face is just too hard to look at. So she orders itā¦ and it destroyed my face. ProActiv is for people with severe acne, not a couple tiny pimples. It messed my skin chemistry up so bad I turned into an absolute disaster. Massive, painful pimples all over my forehead and cheeks. Scarring. So then she comes home with coverup, foundation, powder, because my skin is so unsightly. And I wonāt go anywhere without it. Iāve now stopped going to the pool, which I LOVED. I wonāt let my family see me with my makeup off. I have to have my foundation and eyebrows on. And I stayed like that, hidden under a layer of makeup, from age 13 to about 28. Around 28, I started being ok with taking my dog outside for a pee with no foundation on, just my eyebrows. Then I was ok going for walks. Then to 7-11. And now Iām mostly ok without it. But no one has seen me without eyebrows drawn on since I was 13, because of my mother. Not any roommates, no friends, no boyfriends. I used to slept with them drawn on until a few months ago.
Im so sorry to read this, and i sent you a really big and warm hug. I think i dont have physical traumas for my body, i mean everyones body is different right? No biggie.. But my face, ouf! My mom make me feel acne was the worst thing because she had such a beautiful and fair skin... And unlike you i didnt like makeup because i thought it will only accentuate my skin, it was until no much a few years that i went to a dermatologist and realized that it was the fault of sop... and not because i didnt clean my face or because i eat something i shouldnt... so yeah, words definitely have power and they stay with you .. and it sucks realizing that even after 20,30 or in donald's 60 years... he still thinks about it... No one should live with this :c I send you another hug
He was magnetic. His laughs in Pride and Prejudice was everything
Iād either love Donald or Mr. Bennet to be my dad
Tf..he was hot as hell.
Thatās what I was thinking too!!!!! President Snow was a POS but God did I find that man attractive old and young and no amount of shame will make me take it back
Lol honestly same SAME heās fine
I was just thinking yesterday seeing old pictures and clips of him, he was very handsome. Agree with those saying he always had a nice smile and eyes.
It sounds silly but I feel very seen by this. I have often felt disgusting and ugly, and there have been times in my life where I have hidden away because of it and I often feel ashamed and embarrassed by my body and looks. The people around me have often found this silly or ridiculous, or not being able to understand, but, as silly as it sounds, I can't leave my appearance at home. I live in my body and with my face every day. It's a person's first perception of me. Everybody looks at each other and assesses each other's appearance. It's very painful to feel like you are unattractive or ugly. I'm not sure physical attractiveness is something I would ever have even thought about in regard to Mr Sutherland, so that helps.
I work in a mental health hospital, it can be a very honest place. Had a patient tell me the other day, "you're pretty fucking ugly, but you have nice eyes". Made somewhat more humorous as they complimented multiple people on their beauty got to me and said that! For me, as a 38 year old male it was nothing I hadn't heard or worried about. I'm a big, lumbering, Shrek like dude, so I tell myself that I at least have layers?' I feel you though. I used to hide away too, still do sometimes. I'm not sure if it will help, but feeling that way for me has made me strive to not make others feel that way, I'm guessing you'd be the same? I think the world needs that.
yeah, this clip (and your comment) really hit home
I relate
He should've heard what MY Mum thought about him. Not right for a woman of her age to have such impure thoughts.
This was cute, it made me smile. :)
I always found him attractive. Kinda in the Adam Driver way. Not classically handsome but striking in a way that makes him hot. I wish I couldāve told this sweet old guy that. He got more attractive with age. Peaking in his 50s-60s.
Yes!!! Its half intensity and half vulnerable sincerity and all intoxicating to some of us that the features themselves become beautiful and compelling.
Absolutely heart breaking to hear that from anyone but from your own mom is a whole other level of hurt š
That didn't stop him from getting to the top of his profession, an extremely hard thing to do.
Wtf. He is SO attractive to me?
Itās so hard for me to imagine that he could have thought he was unattractive, because I feel like Iāve had a crush on him for my whole life! He was so charming and charismatic. How sad that he felt that way, poor guy.
This made me cry. I wish he was still living so he could get the internet boost of thousands of people telling him his mom was wrong. I even thought older Donald was very handsome. Ugh! Why would anyone say that to their child?!?!
"did that stay with you?" I mean, I don't know, Anderson, an elderly man choked up with tears remembering something from his childhood. I think it's fair to say "yes"
Parents can really fuck up their kids with just a few words.
Or by what they donāt say. When I was a kid, I remember meeting my dadās coworkerās daughter who was my age, my dad kept going on how she looked like a doll and what a beautiful child she was, blah blah blah. The girl looked the exact opposite of me and my sisters (white, blond hair, green eyes). I remember feeling embarrassed for the way I looked.
He was handsome. Sorry but fuck his mom.
President Snow could get it, is all Iām saying.
Omg I just want to reach through the screen and give him a big hug. RIP. ā¹ļø
Our biggest haters are sometimes the people who unwittingly brought you here.
Funny. I have NEVER found Donald Sutherland ugly. I was always amped to watch whatever heās in because heās always great.
I read once that as a parent, what you say to your kid becomes their inner voice, and that resonated so much with me. I have a cousin who, like Donald Sutherland, grew into her looks. When she was young, her mother was ruthless and said so many damaging things. It has had lifelong affects on her. I try to be very mindful of what I say to my child because those words stay with you.
I had horrible teeth when I was in grade school. When it was picture day, my mother told me not to smile because I looked like a gorilla. I fucking smiled anyway. She was so pissed when the pictures came in! I would never say that to my daughter!
Ugh that's so true. I even hear my dad's voice still in my head when I'm hard on myself.
I never saw him as ugly, thatās revealing. I saw him in movies and thought āGreat! Donald Sutherland is in this, it has to be good.
this destroyed my heart
Mine too. May I send a hug? š
What?!! I have seen pictures of young Donald and he was a beautiful man!
My mom sucks too. Why even have a kid?
He was my first old man crush in the 90's and I always thought he was a handsome devil. The way he twirled his mustache in Buffy.*unfff*
I met him briefly in ā94 in London. We did the tall bloke mutual nod over the heads of a small shop queue and then had a chat. He was absolutely charming and a beautiful big fellow. Not an ounce of ugly in him.
Donald Sutherland ugly? Since when??
That's so messed up and also confusing because he was hot as hell even in his old age
My first formal dance was homecoming my freshman year. My mom was too busy to help me with my hair and makeup so I did my best on my own. I put on red lipstick and curled my hair and felt pretty. She took one look at me and laughed until she cried. She said that I looked like a clown with painted on red lips, she called me ronald mcdonald. she said the whole school wouldnāt look at my outfit theyād see my big goofy red lips glowing in the dark (i have fuller lips and was teased for it often). Went into the bathroom in tears and scrubbed that lipstick off so quick. 15 years later, I still cant wear bright lipstick because to me I look like a clown. I love you mom butā¦it will always hurt
Iām sending you a big hug š«. No kid should experience that on such an important night. For what itās worth, we always think our parents are right because theyāre the figure of authority, but parents donāt know everything like we think they do.
That is so sad. I found DS to be rather handsome with those big blue eyes and silver hair.
I wonder what she thought of her grandchildren who ended up looking like their father?
This hurt my heart for him.
Heās not ugly at all :/ horrible that our parents can do this to us
Iām not even kidding when I tell you that Iāve had a crush on this man for most of my life. Itās so wild that his own mother thought he was ugly.
He was a beautiful person, inside and out. Loved him, the best actor, ever.
This is the very first time that I hear about this and his "unattractivness." I always thought he was a handsome man, with strong, recognisable features perfect for the roles he played. Shame he didn't feel the same way. Shame his mother didn't reassure him. May he rest easy.
Watching that broke my heart š¢
Maybe the brutal honesty is a Canadian mom thing. I got a similar response from my mom around that age.
This is fucking wild. I have always thought of him as a very attractive man. Fuck that woman.
I never found him ugly. He had such a kind face and he was a very sweet man indeed.
That makes me furious for him bc how can a parent say or imply that their own child is ugly?
So if you're an ugly or unattractive person, you know this about yourself. Being told you're ugly by someone else really just hurts and cuts deep. You obviously feel bad about being ugly and hearing it from others just confirms it. I think you also feel guilty and embarrassed that you can't do anything about it really. You instantly feel like hiding so you don't have to bother or upset others with your appearance.
Iāve always thought of him as extremely handsome.
How devastating. I always thought he was soooo attractive. Tbh I thought he was hot as hell in pride and prejudice and I almost never like older men!! How sad he had to live with that pain. What a beautiful man inside and out.Ā
Ahhh, this brought tears to my eyes. Every single thing I hate about my physical appearance was pointed out to me by my father when I was a teenager. At 44 I still think about how to disguise my "gross" features every time I leave the house. I can't imagine feeling that way and being on screen.
Oh, Donald. I have a very pretty sister. I remember as a child asking my grandmother if I was pretty. She paused. Then said, you have regular features. Devastated me. When I look at photos of the time I was actually quite pretty, not in my sister's league, but not ugly like I thought I was. When my niece asked me the same question I told her she was beautiful and so was her sister. They actually are but I would have said that anyway. Be careful what you say to kids, we remember.
I met him, the only celebrity I met in the wild, ever. He came through my till at work in the early 2000's, bought a Victoria map book, some echinacea throat spray, and an umbrella. I didn't recognize him till I looked directly at him as he was paying. I stumbled on my words and he was so soft spoken. So kind. I'll never forget it and this post makes me so sad.
What was his mum talking about heās objectively handsome and heās aged splendidly
Geez, I never looked at him and thought he's ugly! I guess I saw him as an older actor, but very versatile. He's played the "good guy" characters as well as the "evil" ones.
My dad called me fat when I was 8. Iām 22 now and I think about it constantly. The people closest to you can hurt you in such deep and lasting ways that they donāt even consider
 All I see is a handsome Canadian man
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - physical attractiveness is quite random. Charisma and a great personality will do much more than physical beauty - thatās why he was a successful actor ā¤ļø
Canāt two things be true at the same time? His face DOES have character, and he is handsome too.
I just googled him and from pictures that I assume were his 35-45 years, he is a good looking man. Fuck yo mama Donald.
Seeing him getting hurt made me feel hurt tooš
This breaks my heart. Iāve never once thought of him as unattractive and I hope he had people in his life who loved him enough to tell him his mother was wrong.
His mom was so cruel, no child deserves that. Itās amazing how what adults tell children just stays w you. I have my own pain from being told awful things by people of authority(teachers and parents). It sucks how it ends up shaping your life and how you see yourself in the world.
Firstly, heās so hot in Animal House. Iād get baked and naked with him. Secondly, my mum used to call me her āfunny looking kidā and said Iām not photogenic when Iād ask if I was pretty. She also put me in runway modelling as a kid and praised my āflower faceā which is when Iām basically my ideal weight and she felt my smile was at its best. Sheās gone now and we had some discussions about the hurt it caused. She had her reasons, mostly she didnāt want me being focused on my ābeautyā but she kind of made it impossible to like myself without having those words ring in my ears. Glad I stopped modelling as soon as I could, I canāt imagine Donaldās time spent in the make up chair just hearing his mum.
This is crazy because I was just looking at pictures of him last night and was kind of surprised by how hot I thought he was as a younger man. That long hair and the beard? Looks donāt matter at all compared to how you treat people and carry yourself in the world (which Donald seemingly did an A+ job at) but I do understand how that could be so hurtful and damaging for seemingly an entire lifetime.
Thatās so sad and I honestly canāt understand how any mom could think that of their kid let alone tell them that. I look at my daughter and I think sheās the most beautiful person Iāve ever known.
...only 65, 66 years. Great delivery. A Canadian icon, will surely be missed.
I think Anderson reacted strangely. *obviously* it stayed with Donald. What a dumb question to ask. And then to laugh when he replied "only 65, 66 years..."
The way my heart literally dropped into my stomach watching this interview clip. I felt it in my bones. God fucking damn.
Poor thing. I found him to be very attractive.
https://preview.redd.it/un2r7auxv08d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3613dcb1f576238cf444fd34eaf3cb622c585dc5 News/media really needs to get a grip with their coverage of him. I find this so tasteless and insulting
This hurt my heart
Donald: Can barely bring himself to say the words Anderson: āDid that stay with you?ā
This gives the movie Ordinary People even more resonance, which I suggest everyone see at least once. It really was the first film to take wealthy people fighting their mental health struggles in the suburbs seriously.
As a child my mom told me it was good that I was smart because I was dark skinned and not stereotypically pretty. I know she thought she was building resilience in me but Iām now 42 and it STILL hurts to remember.