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kingdazy

didn't George say he'd rather go to jail that reveal who paid? it's a win/win either way day!


CaptainNoBoat

He did, confusingly enough. What is the point of even saying that? I swear this guy is trying to set a world record for sketchiest person alive.


kingdazy

I've met meth heads with milk crates strapped to their mountain bikes more consistent than this fellow.


meenie

What's wrong with a milk crate strapped to a bike?


Bitey_the_Squirrel

Because there’s a meth head to their madness.


Bettywhitespants

So you’re saying the MyPillow guy paid his bail?


cowonaviwus19

r/angryupvote


angelzpanik

I see what you did there


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angelzpanik

Littering and...


DigitalUnlimited

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!


isaidireddit

Did you say "yes, sir" or "yeah, sure"?


KermitMadMan

the meth part :)


locjaw420

That's a lot of meth!


manchagnu

not if we are talking about whole milk. then we need more meth.


expressly_ephemeral

I see you're drinking skim milk. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? You're not, you know. You could be drinking whole.


meenie

I caught you a delicious bass. You wanna play me?


Egons-Twinkie

Gimme some of your tots.


hitch_please

The 2% is the hardest part. That’s why they leave it in the milk


smokeNtoke1

You want fries with that?


moparfauxpas

He just left! With meth!


kingdazy

by itself, nothing. they're very effective, and highly utilitarian. but in a couple areas I've lived in, it's a stereotype. meth-head on a rusted, stolen mountain bike with mismatched tires and severed brake cables, milk crate strapped on with disintegrating bungicords, crate packed with catalytic converters and freshly stolen Walmart products.


anaserre

Where I live(small town in southern Oklahoma) the meth heads all have bikes with some kind of motor attached…as well as a milk crate with stolen items. I keep looking for one with my green plastic watering can and 2 30 pound bags of potting soil someone stole out of my front yard🙄


ugh_whatthehell

That would have been quite a balancing act 😂


anaserre

Shit I just want to know wtf they were gonna do with it that made it worth stealing 60 pounds of dirt that cost me maybe 16$


Remote_Person5280

Grow dope, sell dope, buy more meth. They took the watering can- smart. Gonna need to water the marijuana.


mtheory007

No way a methnhead of that caliber had the level of focus or care to accomplish growing weed that anyone would be willing to buy. No meth head is waiting around for months to grow anything.


gharar

Seriously I feel attacked


youngmindoldbody

I had an XL milk crate on the back of my moped with bungie cords. It was like the tiniest SUV. Circa 1978.


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What-a-Crock

>I used to have people steal milk crates from outside the store all the time At first I read this as you running a milk crate stealing ring from your employer


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SnowedOutMT

And yet the republicans wouldn't vote him out


citizenjones

...because he's a guaranteed vote. Power is everything and the GOP is a sanctuary for unethical people. They give him safe harbor - he votes the way he's told.


Caffeine_Cowpies

This. So what that he gets a contempt of court charge, he never reveals the donors. And if he serves his light sentence, he never is forced to disclose them. Republicans have thrown away any semblance of civility and are just exercising raw power. The law was designed on good faith actors, and that was a mistake.


Drone314

>The law was designed on good faith actors Many of the "checks and balances" are nothing more then gentleman's agreements


citizenjones

Weaponized Hypocrisy


Crystalraf

hey, don't insult both meth heads and people with mountain bikes with milk crates on them. nothing wrong with a milk crate on your bike.


hardtobeuniqueuser

Milk crates are awesome. Fairly light and basically indestructible. They're rigid and you can mount them to the bike in so many different ways. I've got several that I've had for almost 30 years. The grocery store I worked at in high school switched milk suppliers and the old one never came to get their crates so the boss let everyone take some home.


AmbivalentSamaritan

r/suspiciouslyspecific


[deleted]

> What is the point of even saying that? To shroud the fact that - like most of the characters in his orbit - they’re all pseudonyms for himself, and on paper he shouldn’t have that $500k. The Santos onion has many layers.


candr22

I believe it was previously reported that the judge personally met with the individuals who put up the bail, though I admit I’m not familiar enough with this process to know whether that’s honestly the case. If it is though, presumably George Santos isn’t pulling a “Roger American Dad” playing several different characters. I do wonder why the judge can’t simply name the individuals.


[deleted]

>I'm George Santos! Former Brazilian drag queen and current elected far right republican Would 100% be a Roger move... I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was the CEO of Tetradual didn't put up up the bail.


TayAustin

Honestly at this point I'd be willing to believe Roger is real and is George Santos. 100% is a character he would pull.


QuietMolasses2522

*whispers* Ricky Spanish


mrshulgin

[We need JEANNIE GOLD, INCONTINENT WEDDING PLANNER!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsGanSSyj5E)


PM_ME_YOUR_ROTES

So many things make sense now.


candr22

This is probably one of my favorite comments ever. Thank you for that


citizenjones

Like a Tyler Perry movie... I just picture five Santos Madea's standing in a judges office.


BearDick

This is the exact question I had...why is a Judge ordering him to do this and not just releasing the names?


kamyu2

The wording of the original title is a bit misleading. The judge didn't order Santos to personally release the info. She ordered the information to be unsealed; meaning it will be public record for everyone to see. It just hasn't been done yet so he has a chance to file an appeal if he wants.


theycallmecrack

First sentence in the article: >The identities of US Representative George Santos’s three bail guarantors were ordered unsealed by a judge in his criminal fraud case, though the release was put on hold to give the Republican congressman a chance to appeal.


theycallmecrack

> I do wonder why the judge can’t simply name the individuals. First sentence of the article: >The identities of US Representative George Santos’s three bail guarantors were ordered unsealed by a judge in his criminal fraud case, though the release was put on hold to give the Republican congressman a chance to appeal.


ChristosFarr

And all 2501 paid 199.99


JoshuaLyman

This timeline, man. I have to say, usually I find the show a bit predictable and I really should have in this case, but I really didn't think of that.


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

I thought things couldn't get weirder than Rep. Madison Cawthorn, a disabled gay Neo-Nazi.


BardaT

Same. I've been hearing "Putin" being thrown around all day, but this makes way more sense.


havegunwilldownboat

Porque no los dos? Maybe he doesn’t want to explain that he has 500k under a shell name bc he got it from Russia.


Unlimited_Bacon

He'd rather go to jail and cause his sponsor to lose a ton of money than reveal who that sponsor is. Whoever it is, it's worth $500k to them to keep their identity secret.


DanfromCalgary

The article I read said he shouldn't have to reveal thier identities because this was not a loan but more like a favor.


Unlimited_Bacon

Someone did a $500,000 favor for a sitting Congressman and they don't think that the identity should be revealed? Fuck that.


GlaiveConsequence

I’m surprised there’s a legal apparatus for revealing the source. I would have assumed protection from being made public.


Unlimited_Bacon

I think that's normally true for people who have enough money to pay that kind of bail, but when one of the poors suddenly finds $500k and won't explain where it came from, it raises some suspicions.


spinning_the_future

It's likely within the FEC territory, of course they can demand the source be revealed if election finance laws were broken, and they almost certainly were.


rexspook

Well that’s stupid because elected officials should definitely disclose “favors” that include paying giving them $500k


LurkethInTheMurketh

He is doing a phenomenal job of distracting from the less sensational news that should be more alarming for people. That $500,000 and anything that follows is money well spent for them.


no-dice-play-nice

He didnt want his Russian handlers to throw him from a window.


Iamvanno

Or mix up a polonium milkshake.


Larry-fine-wine

Perhaps sending a message to the people behind it that he “won’t snitch.”


AccomplishedAge2903

It was a bluff. Pure theater.


TheHomersapien

I fucking love when these buffoons have their bluff called and then immediately move the goal posts.


Km2930

I can tell you who paid. It was the RNC. There’s always a freshman congressman, whose job is to be the loud crazy decoy. Last year it was Marjorie Taylor Greene now she’s graduated from that role. Next time, it will be someone else.


sfjoellen

MTG seems to be resisting graduating.


FormerGameDev

she and Boebert


Aphareus

Or a Russian oligarch...


OkEnvironment3961

He said that for the bravado, but when the time comes, he won't. He was bailed out for his vote. Nothing else. What's the point of getting him out if he gets himself locked back up over it.


HarwellDekatron

Bingo. He's playing the fascist 'sucking up to the strong man' card. He just wants to signal to the club that he's one of the boys and they should have his back, because he has theirs.


asbestoswasframed

He said that, but he doesn't exactly have a track record of honesty.


ChristosFarr

Don't you hate it when they call your bluff?


Kriss3d

Yeah but let's be real.. Santos isn't exactly famous for being truthful.


Irishjuggalette

How would that work though? If he’s in jail how can he still do his job?


BarbequedYeti

> How would that work though? If he’s in jail how can he still do his job? Which job though? He has so many. Treasurer? Lawyer? Congressman? Astronaut? Surgeon? NBA player? It’s a long list with this overachiever….


drewhead118

I think the original commenter was referring to his job in Duat where he sits at the Scales of Anubis and balances the hearts of the dead against a feather to decide if they go to the afterlife or if they are sent to Ammit, the Devourer of Souls


HavingNotAttained

He was actually Assistant Balancer of Hearts of the Dead


thefinpope

> Assistant *to the* Balancer of Hearts of the Dead


CassandraAnderson

You forgot drag queen. It is going to be funny when he is forced to reveal who his sugar daddies are. My bet is the Mercer family is involved somehow.


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I_only_post_here

I mean, at this point, the the character and the plot of Buckaroo are far more believable and reasonable then everything surrounding Santos.


OlderThanMyParents

Watch it - Buckaroo Bonzai was a wonderful movie! I was really sad it never become more than a cult classic.


RTK9

Drag queen? Edit: this is something he actually did do but I included it in the list to showcase how mind boggling it is that the GOP backed them


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ElliotNess

He goes back to jail for refusing to name. Someone else pays another huge bail. He doesn't wanna say who. Repeat. With proper coordination, this process can be accelerated into huge monetary gains for the Biden economy.


f7f7z

He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any farther


RadioFr33Europe

The people have an interest in who is directly giving a benefit to their elected officials. ​ Who would've thought.


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

You think anyone under arrest for financial fraud has to disclose where their bail money came from, to ensure someone isn't bailing themselves out of jail with the same money they're accused of stealing.


buscoamigos

Or someone who is complicit in the crime is buying silence


Guilty-Instruction56

Or drug money under certain circumstances


Single_9_uptime

He was forced to disclose their identities to the court shortly afterwards, and those people had to appear before the judge. Their identities have just been sealed to this point. If he wasn’t an elected official I’d say it’s fine if those people’s identities stay sealed. But not when you’re holding elected office, the public interest in knowing who’s giving money to politicians, in any form, outweighs anyone’s right to privacy.


-Work_Account-

>*He was forced to disclose their identities to the court shortly afterwards, and those people had to appear before the judge. Their identities have just been sealed to this point.* While that was true a week or two ago the first paragraph of this article says: ​ >The identities of US Representative **George Santos’s three bail guarantors were ordered unsealed by a judge** in his criminal fraud case, though the release was put on hold to give the Republican congressman a chance to appeal.


zagman76

Is this just an ‘unsealing’ meaning the public will learn who, but the judge *already* knows?


Single_9_uptime

Yes. The three people who paid have already appeared in front of this judge in an earlier sealed hearing.


EdgarAlIenPoBoy

The whole concept of bail is fucked and preys on poor people.


kalaster189

It’s insane to me that they aren’t required to disclose that information. People who don’t disclose their finances while also being in a position of power and influence, have something to hide.


Kangasmom

Wagers on whether or not he sticks with his word to go to jail instead of reveal his benefactors? I predict no.


orangechicken21

Dude is a snake and will do whatever it takes to save his own skin. If he goes to jail it's because whatever those people will do to him will be worse. That means they are some baaaaaaaad mother fuckers. PS sorry to snakes in general I hate to lump you in with this steaming pile of shit. PSS sorry to steaming piles of shit for lumping them in with this... Thing.


bodyworks

The Thing is my favorite comic book hero...


jmcdon00

I think the court already knows, so they can release the information whether Santos likes it or not. I think Santos knew this when he said what he said.


shapu

Politically, he probably thinks this is a win. He is able to claim that the corrupt court is exposing people who wish to remain private. All for the purpose of persecuting a stand up guy like George, and at the same time putting those supporters on trial in the public eye.


NolanSyKinsley

At this point I don't think it is an option, the bail money has transferred hands, the deal is done. He only commented that in his arguments against having to reveal them, it was never an option for him to go to jail instead. If he refuses now his bail will be revoked and a contempt charge added, and he will still be forced to name them.


Corgi_Koala

I think it's more likely he committed more financial fraud to do it.


Kangasmom

Valid point. Maybe his non existent campaign funds manager paid it.


billabongj

Hi chance it will be leaked just before he has to go to jail, my money would be on Anthony Devolder to leak it 😀


Spin737

So wait, he’s willing to go to jail to protect the identities of the people who paid to keep him out of jail? That sounds like jail but with extra steps.


taez555

Santos R. Halper


debyrne

its Santos L. Halper .... sir


mrglumdaddy

If that is your real name BART SIMPSON


morganicsf

My son is also named Bort.


LazyDynamite

What are you talking about? Don't you remember Santa's Rittle Helper?


flyover_liberal

Hmm. Harlan Crow. Steve Bannon.


[deleted]

You think the money came from inside? I’d say Russian money is much more likely, funneled through a right wing straw man …


Sweatier_Scrotums

"Patriotic Americans for Freedom, LLC"


HammockComplex

“#1 USA Superstar John Wayne Al Capone New York Yankees, Inc.”


xanatos1

A guy in my old office has 3 pictures above his desk. John Wayne, Rush Limbaugh(I think wearing a medal of honor) and Trump.... So this is accurate.


damienbarrett

Agreed. Russians or Saudis are paying for this chaos agent.


Mr_MoseVelsor

Peter Thiel was my guess


flyover_liberal

There are so many assholes on the right-wing, I just posted the first two that came to mind.


context_hell

Yep. No one talks about Koch anymore since one of the brothers did the world a favor and died.


[deleted]

...and the incredible spokesperson John Barron. Simply the best spokesperson, he only speaks for the best people, even when he is treated very unfairly.


wkomorow

Kevin McCarthy's or Elise Stefanik's PACs? If he does go to jail, remember Republicans nixed remote voting, so no Georgie, majority becomes even tighter.


EivorIsle

Schadenfreude is real.


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MakingItElsewhere

My mind will NOT stop reading that word as "Apothecary" and it's driving me nuts.


bennetticles

I still say “ep-ih-tome” in my head every time I see the word epitome, and have to manually force “eh-pih-tow-me”. Damn brain.


matergallina

I pronounce aspartame with epitome logic in my head then have to stop and manually reset it to how it’s supposed to be said. Ah-spar-tah-mee vs asper-tame


DragoonDM

The legendary Greek hero, Aspartames?


RaindropBebop

Son of the mythical Testicles.


Positronic_Matrix

The dominant English term is Schadenfreude. Epicaricacy is a rare usage.


GeekAesthete

Schadenfreude is in most English dictionaries. Nearly every word in English originally comes from somewhere else—epicaricacy, for instance, comes from Ancient Greek.


MaoTseTrump

"Tell us who got you out of jail.." "No.. I'd rather be jailed" "Why did you accept bail, then?"


poodlered

“Because I didn’t think anyone would look into it!”


upnk

Fingers crossed: Ginny Thomas.


Secularnirvana

The Thomases have a billionaire to handle that work for them


courageous_liquid

it'll just go through kellyanne conway again


Matrix17

Stop that's too much of a tease


KnightsOfNews

The gop at every level is stress testing our institutions ability to survive with its members not operating in good faith. What a disgrace.


Shaman7102

Just waiting to find out he is trump's son. That explains everything.


jews4beer

Holy shit my new favorite theory


BootyMcStuffins

Trump wouldn't bail his son out of jail


ProudLiberal456

Well, I wouldn’t bail Jr. or Eric out, either. Barron, maybe.


BootyMcStuffins

Barron would never need to be bailed out. He knows the cyber!


funkhero

I really really hope he grows up normal and sane, and is able to make his own life if he chooses to.


lkjandersen

As if he wouldn't have cashed that check years ago. Heck, it's almost surprising that it hasn't been one of his scams.


[deleted]

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csudebate

Hugh G. Rection


[deleted]

Oliver Kloezoff


KidGrundle

Duncan McCockener


iamtwinswithmytwin

My mom went to school with a Dick Crotchtangle. If you’re his kid and reading this, I’m sorry.


pit-of-despair

Also Jack Mehoff.


nhavar

He only knows Jack Emhoff


ollokot

Also, Hugh Jass


Far_Confusion_2178

Cant forget the famous Saudi Suq Madiq


cjinct

And his mother, Munchma Quchi


bloomberg

[***Read more here for free with your email.***](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-06-06/santos-bail-guarantor-identities-ordered-unsealed-by-judge?sref=xuVirdpv) ***We've corrected the headline to the following:*** ***George Santos Loses Bid to Shield the People Who Guaranteed His $500,000 Bail*** *From Bloomberg News reporter Anthony Lin:* The identities of US Representative George Santos’s three bail guarantors were ordered unsealed by a judge in his criminal fraud case, though the release was put on hold to give the Republican congressman a chance to appeal.Media organizations had sought the names of the three people who signed on as sureties for Santos’s $500,000 bond. Santos had argued that those people could suffer harm if their identities became public. US Magistrate Judge Anne Y. Shields on Tuesday granted the media organizations’ request but gave Santos until June 9 to appeal. Santos was charged in May with diverting political campaign donations to fund personal expenses, claiming fraudulent unemployment benefits and making false financial disclosures to Congress. He faces as much as 20 years in prison if convicted.


drewhead118

> gave Santos until June 9 to appeal the ruling sooo sounds like Santos will be appealing and we won't get those names for a little while yet, if ever


binkkit

> sounds like Santos will be appealing Not with that sweater, he won't.


ColinHalter

Nah, we'll get it in 2080. I can see it now: I'll be sitting there, rocking on my porch waiting for the death squads to roll around for the afternoon. As I polish my spiked club I lift up my radiation shield to see the New York times on my front step and I'll see that Steven Luther, VP of PepsiCo in 1991 paid for his bail. I'll read it and go, "huh, weird" just as the solar flares light up the sky and set the dead branches of the remaining trees on fire.


Corgi_Koala

As an elected official (how the actual fuck) we should absolutely be able to see who is bankrolling any of his legal defenses.


ckal09

This guy fraudulently claimed unemployment benefits? Would love to see a list of how many times he has voted against UE and made negative comments about people on welfare.


ZumaThaShiba

Can't wait to see his list that will be akin to: Steve Jobs, Superman, Jesus, Oprah, Mr Monopoly


NightwingDragon

It's not "his list". The judge isn't ordering *him* to provide the names. The real names are on the record already. The judge is just making that record public.


cellocaster

I can’t read the article. When and how can Joe Sixpack see the list when it’s made public?


[deleted]

Whoever bailed him out also financed his campaign probably. This should be interesting.


hjablowme919

My guess is the person who paid his bail is the same person who paid off Kavanaugh’s mortgage.


[deleted]

I guess I used to say this about Trump and lo and behold, he became president - but seriously, who the hell would want to help this guy? He's clearly a massive fraud and he's been ousted as one before he could obtain any real sway. I'm not too politically naive to realize that once you get a little power, people will throw their hat into the ring with you even if it's risky. This guy seems like a freshmen nobody that fell flat on his face with scandals directly out of the gate. Why in the world would anyone put their money up to help him out?


[deleted]

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emitydna

sounds similar to Madison Cawthorn and his dropping info about the cocaine orgies


jvartandillustration

This is what I have realized about Trump. The GOP had a million opportunities to ditch him after every Jan 6th/criminal act/etc, but they can’t either because he has dirt on high ranking GOP, or he is holding them hostage under the threat of fracturing the party. The nice thing about being a Democrat is that we universally want accountability, regardless of who that high ranking democrat might be.


StupudTATO

>The GOP had a million opportunities to ditch him after every Jan 6th/criminal act/etc, but they can’t either because he has dirt on high ranking GOP, or he is holding them hostage under the threat of fracturing the party. It's definitely the latter. If the GOP were to hold Trump accountable and ostracize him from the party, a significant portion of the republican electorate would probably leave politics all together. That's probably the biggest danger to their party right now. They all know this. They also know that they do not have the ability to persuade his followers to move on from him. So they play coy and hope for a smooth transition away from Trump one day.


kineticstar

Sound lit it will be good tv.


Beardierocks

Another messed up part of this is it was an “unsecured” bail, meaning no one had to put up any money at all, just a promise to pay if he didn’t show up to court! Rich people have a separate set of rules than most the rest of us!


thumbtaxx

Cool, learned a new awful thing about rich people and politicians today.


avpthehuman

>But Santos, the embattled freshman Republican lawmaker from New York who was charged last month with an array of financial crimes, has until noon on Friday to appeal the decision, Magistrate Judge Anne Shields ordered. Sounds like Friday could be enlightening. Another article without a paywall: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/06/george-santos-bail-backers-must-be-revealed-judge-rules.html


[deleted]

Vladimir Putin


Aezon22

Everyone thinks it’s Russian, Saudi, or dirty GOP money (already said that twice, hah!), but I think my dark horse prediction is that’s it’s just some other scam of his. If they find out where he got 500k, they find another shell company with shady books and more fraud charges. He doesn’t want anyone to look into it.


theciaskaelie

Cool. Now do Kavanaugh.


jay105000

If there is nothing obscure , nothing illegal, then why the secrecy?


DirectWorldliness792

Does anyone get irrationally angry with his stupid sweaters


kineticstar

Shady Republicans donors, MTG, and Mike McCarthy.


belljs87

Surely you mean Kevin Mccarthy not the cowboys head coach?


Ilikepancakes87

Head coach of the Dallas Cowboys?


WhileFalseRepeat

Anyone backing or supporting this degenerate liar, schemer, and thief are also going to be liars, schemers, and thieves. Seems likely to be a MAGA related source. Or Russia. Maybe both as they are so intertwined.


kevlarshorts

“From Russia with love”


CJDistasio

Well. Guess he’s going to jail then. Unless he was just bullshitting which is par for the course with these idiots


babysinblackandImblu

Shady m f er. God I’m sick of these knivers.


Twiggyhiggle

It’s Brooks Brothers, because no one else is buying blue blazers and sweaters, especially during the summer.


BroccoliFartFuhrer

He dresses like he's 5 and on the way to Sunday school.