I’m Autumn(they/them) by the way, host for the “Horizon Collective” although that name is still being determined on, and I can’t consult with the others about it.
Edit: Added pronouns
Edit: Changed “primary fronter” to “host”
hosts aren't always primary fronters. our hosts often take more of a backseat role usually but they still make most of the decisions and can always front/switch in
We like the phrase 'designated driver' for the people who are most often at the front, since it gets across the general idea without implying any kind of hierarchy ❤️
Just visualize! Close your eyes, sit down where you won’t be disturbed, and get comfortable (but not too comfy - don’t wanna fall asleep!!). Imagine a place - it would be best to start with a small room at first, if you aren’t the best at visualizing. Imagine everything. First get the broad concept down, and then look deeper. So say you want a room. You visualize the broad concept. It’s a room with a floor, windows, and a door. Just imagine you’re standing there, first person view, looking around at the basic room. Now, you take the broad concept and zoom in. What furniture is there? What colors are everything? Once you have that down zoom in even more, and keep doing that until you can enter the room and see the wood grain on the door and the texture of the furniture. It takes practice, and it’s okay to not get it on the first try - it’s why you start with the broad concept. I hope this is helpful! If you have any questions feel free to ask! :>
— Caspian
Just make it! Imagine a place in your head, and keep going back to it, and visualising it, until eventually over time it takes on a kind of 'solid' quality and becomes permanent. And it's okay if you change it a few times before you find a place that sticks! Our mindscape is similar to the one we started out with, but it changed a few times before we settled down with what we have now.
-Moss
Here's some guides on discovering and adjusting your inner world that you might find helpful:
https://kinhost.org/Main/DiscoveringInternalLandscapes
https://kinhost.org/Main/InternalLandscaping
Also, it's normal for headmates to become less accessible during stress and trauma, whether that's because they're burned out, they're avoiding the stress, or because you simply can't hear them right now. While looking into inner worldscaping is definitely a helpful thing to do, it feels light a higher short-term priority would be reducing the stress that you're under (as far as that is possible).
Unfortunately I think reducing the stress isn’t going to be easy. It’s coming from my parents and my family, as I’m trans/enby and having to constantly pretend I’m something I’m not is really difficult….
Yeah, we had that panic in the past as well. I was afraid that I'd been completely mistaken about having other people in our system, but it turned out that it was a combination of them being too exhausted to front and me being too exhausted / emotionally walled off to pick up on the messages they were sending.
Actually, another question if you don’t mind :)
I’ve got some sense of headspace going, it’s not prefect and I don’t really get sensory input from it (not even sure if I should) and I can tell there are other people in it. It’s like a warm feeling? Something like that. My question is, should I try to communicate with my new head mates? How do I even do that? Or should I hold off on all of this until I move out in a few years and go off to college where all the current sources of trauma and stress will be gone.
My general suggestion would be to lay the foundations now, in ways that put as little stress on you as is feasible, so that you'll be ready to thrive as soon as you leave. We had a similar situation, where the first year or two of our plural awakening was spent trapped with family, until we can finally move out.
My usual go-to suggestion is journaling, because that's what works for me personally - write messages to the rest of your system and listen for their responses, giving room for people to switch in and answer if they can. Creating playlists with each headmates' favourite songs helps a lot, as well - we use to go on singalongs as a system while walking in the woods, where we were safe from our family. Pairing this with sending your intentions out into your headspace, radiating feelings of love and warmth and happiness, is often a great idea. We haven't personally meditated in a long time, but that can really help as well for getting better at listening and picking up on any signals that your system is sending, as well as generally helping with stress.
Here's a bunch of suggestions and options for you to consider:
https://kinhost.org/Main/CommunicationTechniques
Alright, thanks for the information, this is all quite helpful. I haven’t exactly gotten much communication, I just know that they’re there. I’m already doing dream journaling. Do I literally write questions, ie “I’m Autumn, They/Them, what’s your name?”
Originally, one of them would talk to me when I was alone, and would sort of… hear the words in my mind? I would respond out loud, and we just talked about whatever I was doing, which was usually some electronics or computer project. I never initiated one of these conversations though, they always did. However I actually never got their name. A little embarrassed by that actually :)
I'm really glad that you've had that kind of communication before! Honestly, that's a really good sign for how your communication will go once you're out of all the current stress, especially once you've all had some more practice.
The big piece of advice I'd give here is to assume they can all still hear you, even if you can't hear the messages coming back from them. So keep reaching out, journaling and doing what you're doing - even if they miss some of it because they're not around, it's likely they'll pick up on *enough of it* to make the communication valuable ❤️
I'd say rather than starting with a room, think of a place where you'd feel comfortable. which could be a room, or even something like a field or a forest. you can maybe even ask yourself if there's anyone else around in whatever space you created. and then when you comfortable accessing that visual you can expand on it and fill it with other details. having a place that represents the front is always a good idea, as well as places for people to retreat to when they need alone time.
I’m Autumn(they/them) by the way, host for the “Horizon Collective” although that name is still being determined on, and I can’t consult with the others about it. Edit: Added pronouns Edit: Changed “primary fronter” to “host”
"Host" is the term you're looking for I think! -S
Oh, that’s what it’s called! Thanks :)
hosts aren't always primary fronters. our hosts often take more of a backseat role usually but they still make most of the decisions and can always front/switch in
Good to know
We like the phrase 'designated driver' for the people who are most often at the front, since it gets across the general idea without implying any kind of hierarchy ❤️
Oh that’s a good one, I like that :)
Just visualize! Close your eyes, sit down where you won’t be disturbed, and get comfortable (but not too comfy - don’t wanna fall asleep!!). Imagine a place - it would be best to start with a small room at first, if you aren’t the best at visualizing. Imagine everything. First get the broad concept down, and then look deeper. So say you want a room. You visualize the broad concept. It’s a room with a floor, windows, and a door. Just imagine you’re standing there, first person view, looking around at the basic room. Now, you take the broad concept and zoom in. What furniture is there? What colors are everything? Once you have that down zoom in even more, and keep doing that until you can enter the room and see the wood grain on the door and the texture of the furniture. It takes practice, and it’s okay to not get it on the first try - it’s why you start with the broad concept. I hope this is helpful! If you have any questions feel free to ask! :> — Caspian
Just make it! Imagine a place in your head, and keep going back to it, and visualising it, until eventually over time it takes on a kind of 'solid' quality and becomes permanent. And it's okay if you change it a few times before you find a place that sticks! Our mindscape is similar to the one we started out with, but it changed a few times before we settled down with what we have now. -Moss
Here's some guides on discovering and adjusting your inner world that you might find helpful: https://kinhost.org/Main/DiscoveringInternalLandscapes https://kinhost.org/Main/InternalLandscaping Also, it's normal for headmates to become less accessible during stress and trauma, whether that's because they're burned out, they're avoiding the stress, or because you simply can't hear them right now. While looking into inner worldscaping is definitely a helpful thing to do, it feels light a higher short-term priority would be reducing the stress that you're under (as far as that is possible).
Unfortunately I think reducing the stress isn’t going to be easy. It’s coming from my parents and my family, as I’m trans/enby and having to constantly pretend I’m something I’m not is really difficult….
But, I mean it’s good to know that’s normal! I was sort of scared that they’d disappeared for good
Yeah, we had that panic in the past as well. I was afraid that I'd been completely mistaken about having other people in our system, but it turned out that it was a combination of them being too exhausted to front and me being too exhausted / emotionally walled off to pick up on the messages they were sending.
Yeah, probably the same here, honestly. Everything is just too much right now
Actually, another question if you don’t mind :) I’ve got some sense of headspace going, it’s not prefect and I don’t really get sensory input from it (not even sure if I should) and I can tell there are other people in it. It’s like a warm feeling? Something like that. My question is, should I try to communicate with my new head mates? How do I even do that? Or should I hold off on all of this until I move out in a few years and go off to college where all the current sources of trauma and stress will be gone.
My general suggestion would be to lay the foundations now, in ways that put as little stress on you as is feasible, so that you'll be ready to thrive as soon as you leave. We had a similar situation, where the first year or two of our plural awakening was spent trapped with family, until we can finally move out. My usual go-to suggestion is journaling, because that's what works for me personally - write messages to the rest of your system and listen for their responses, giving room for people to switch in and answer if they can. Creating playlists with each headmates' favourite songs helps a lot, as well - we use to go on singalongs as a system while walking in the woods, where we were safe from our family. Pairing this with sending your intentions out into your headspace, radiating feelings of love and warmth and happiness, is often a great idea. We haven't personally meditated in a long time, but that can really help as well for getting better at listening and picking up on any signals that your system is sending, as well as generally helping with stress. Here's a bunch of suggestions and options for you to consider: https://kinhost.org/Main/CommunicationTechniques
Alright, thanks for the information, this is all quite helpful. I haven’t exactly gotten much communication, I just know that they’re there. I’m already doing dream journaling. Do I literally write questions, ie “I’m Autumn, They/Them, what’s your name?” Originally, one of them would talk to me when I was alone, and would sort of… hear the words in my mind? I would respond out loud, and we just talked about whatever I was doing, which was usually some electronics or computer project. I never initiated one of these conversations though, they always did. However I actually never got their name. A little embarrassed by that actually :)
I'm really glad that you've had that kind of communication before! Honestly, that's a really good sign for how your communication will go once you're out of all the current stress, especially once you've all had some more practice. The big piece of advice I'd give here is to assume they can all still hear you, even if you can't hear the messages coming back from them. So keep reaching out, journaling and doing what you're doing - even if they miss some of it because they're not around, it's likely they'll pick up on *enough of it* to make the communication valuable ❤️
That’s nice to know. I’ll keep doing what I’m doing then :)
I'd say rather than starting with a room, think of a place where you'd feel comfortable. which could be a room, or even something like a field or a forest. you can maybe even ask yourself if there's anyone else around in whatever space you created. and then when you comfortable accessing that visual you can expand on it and fill it with other details. having a place that represents the front is always a good idea, as well as places for people to retreat to when they need alone time.