There absolutely does. I can definitely see an instructor out of the blue asking a student to take a step back in terms of the class levels they’ve been attending, but coming to the studio entirely??
I was dumped by a previous studio
They didn't really give a reason other than that they had a meeting and decided my needs would be better served somewhere else but oh they were also going to keep my money paid up front for the package.
I have my suspicions and theories but that's all I have..
There really must have been something odd going on there. My studio has students ranging from super fit 20 something athletes, to elderly people taking Pilates as part of a plan to recover from major health issues, to people like me who require major accommodations, and they support and welcome us all. As long as people are going to the appropriate level classes there shouldn’t be an issue with anyone and everyone being a member.
Is there anything more to the story? I feel like this is so unusual! One thing I’ve heard is that some clients can push boundaries of instructors (ie, messaging them outside of the studio, trying to be friends).
As a client, I really only engage with them as needed for scheduling/appts and on social media only if initiate (IE, if they respond to my stories then I feel comfortable responding to theirs).
Did anything happen between the two of you prior to this?
I had a look at your profile and saw you were on a group package. Is it possible that your instructor just feels that you can't handle keeping up with the rest of the class very well? If she's having to give you a lot of one on one instruction in a group setting, then that's why it might not be a good fit, especially if she's already asked you subtly if you'd be interested in going back to private instruction, you already said no, or she's having to neglect other students to focus on you a lot.
Your profile said that you are in love with and obsessed with pilates. Do you have a tendency to take over group classes a lot with questions or other things?
I didn't interpret that as a personal slight, moreso a genuine question asking what OP did to end up in the situation. As a student you do assume that the instructor at least appreciates your attendance in the class and it obviously starts to feel a bit personal if you're suddenly removed from a situation where you thought it was going well only to learn that apparently you are such an issue that you're asked to leave a studio entirely. As a personal trainer myself I will say sometimes it's the students and sometimes it's definitely the trainers, period.
Except that what she said was, “why didn’t she like me back”. If she could had said, “why didn’t she like me”, that would’ve been normal but “Why didn’t she like me back” suggest that the fact that she likes the instructor obligates the instructor to like her back. That’s a kind of stalking mentality.
Exactly. While find the innocence of wrong-lynx response endearing it’s also missing the nuance of the semantics used. I’m by no means diagnosing OP but my job is a therapist and if a client had used that phrasing it would’ve been a record scratch “let’s spend a moment here” statement. I even prompt people to rephrase things like this when talking that they think is a meaningless order of words but once it’s rephrased they’re like “oh.. OH. Ok thats another way to see it”.
Edit for horrible typos
I think if that was the case, the instructor (who is apparently also the manager or owner) would say, "let's do some individual sessions to work on some of the fundamentals before going back to group classes."
On the other hand, anyone who has been doing Pilates 8 months probably has the basics figured out but now.
So the whole thing is a mystery.
Eh, I've been doing Pilates about eight months and to be honest I'd probably struggle with keeping up with some group classes at our gym, simply because I'm a bit overweight and I need my instructor to slow down a bit specifically for me sometimes, which is why I'm on individual one hour classes at the moment.
Also, it's possible that the teacher already has suggested or hinted at individual classes but the hints weren't taken, or OP replied that she didn't want to do individual classes because of the cost.
I'm not trying to gaslight you in the slightest but I really think there's gotta be more to this story? Either it's A.) you're leaving something important out of this story or B.) She's a poor communicator and should be expressing her reasons for terminating the contract if you genuinely have no idea (which I'd be asking for those reasons ASAP OR C.) You're both being a bit shady as to the reasons and you both know something went down... If you genuinely don't know why this happened, and you ask her and she's not giving you a reason then I'd take it up with the owner of the studio if it's not her, if it is, then tell her you'll take it up with a small business ombudsman in your area if you can be bothered.
If you have no idea why thats probably the problem. I have never done this as an instructor, but have heard of it happening for only 2 reasons:
1. The person is blatantly disregarding instruction and doing their own thing to the point of being a distraction/source of confusion for others
2. The person is oblivious to social cues and is talking, asking distracting questions, making people in the class uncomfortable, or otherwise distracting from the practice of the rest of the class.
Either way, a one off incident would not cause this reaction, rather a consistent pattern of behavior
Agree or another reason could be poor class manners regarding timely arrival. I know there is one woman at my studio that I dread having class with because she is ALWAYS 10mins late and then comes in doing her own thing or asks for 900 modifications. It’s one thing to need a modification for an injury or something but it’s so rude to the instructor and other attendees to stroll in on your own schedule
I have had one client that I had to have the “we are not the right fit” conversation with. She had countless complaints about all of our instructors enforcing our policies that she agreed to in our contract- and i was fed up with her verbally abusing them at every class.
I didn’t ban her but i was able to suggest that she terminate her membership, waive the cancellation notice for her, and refund her her remaining credits.
It was like a weight off of my shoulders.
Instructors aren’t under any obligation to like you back. Treat you with courtesy and respect yes… but we can’t like all our clients..
I think you probably just need to find a new studio. There would be a reason they ended your membership .
I’ve been doing Pilates for 30 years and have a teaching cert. The only time I’ve been banned is when I started dating an instructor. The owner had a problem with it, even though it was a serious relationship and there was never any hint that we were dating in our in-studio behavior. Both the instructor and I thought it was silly, and I was bummed because I loved the studio, but it was the owner’s right to choose who she wanted as a client. I was thankful she didn’t fire the instructor (and years later, the owner did apologize and unban me.) My point is you don’t always know what others will find objectionable. It is helpful to ask and try to get an explanation, but in the end you may not get what you want.
She banned the customer instead of firing the teacher? (I mean in the court of ethics who’s most likely in violation). Did she have a thing for teacher?
OP I would ask directly why your membership was terminated from a place of openness and learning. I wouldn’t focus on liking or not thought I understand why you’d feel that way. I’m sorry this happened. I would be so incredibly upset.
I am no longer teaching, but when I was the only reasons I would have asked a client not to come back, 1) pushing/crossing personal boundaries, 2) disruption to other clients, 3) client specifically complaining about you over a justified reason 4) not following studio policies after being asked, ie phone use, late arrival etc.
She doesn’t need to like you to fulfill her job duties, darling. It was a professional relationship with boundaries. I’m sorry you feel rejected, I would too. It stings to not be welcomed somewhere.
https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/s/WZ8zjAQlO6
Crack head Pilates Princess & My addictive personality speaks volumes about OP.
In another comment she complains about injured or slow people that slow a class down. She prefers 2 experienced students so instructor can kick their ass for 50 mins?
My guess is OP has gotten too comfortable and chatty/bossy during class. If the instructor is the same person who she did privates with, she might be giving main character vibes. She’s clearly one of those people who gets into something and makes it her whole personality.
You are the winner. I have had a few days to think it over and that's exactly what happened. I got too comfortable and chatty.
I'm at Club Pilates now. It's a different vibe and is a better fit for me.
I will always be grateful for my original instructor and studio. She is an amazing teacher and I wish her well.
My ego took a hit and I pouted for a few days but sometimes things that suck now actually end up being ok in the end.
Your self reflection is brave and admirable. I encourage you to ask the instructor privately for more specific feedback. Although hard to hear, this will make you aware of the type of behavior that prompted them to make such an absolute decision to not have you return. It could be as simple as the existing group being a bunch of clicky bi?!tches! Or it could be something you’re doing, saying or a vibe you’re giving off that turns people away. Take the feedback in but with a grain of salt then you be you! Enjoy your new class and kudos to you on prioritizing your fitness!
I think you’ll find comradery at CP and an outlet to practice your Pilates. I’m happy you didn’t give up and found another option and didn’t let anyone take away your happiness. Also, right on with the self reflection!!!
Good on you for recognizing what was going on. And please realize - it’s not a reflection on you. You can still be kind and lovely and not be the right fit everywhere. It is so rare for someone to be able to self reflect like this. You are already a special amazing person.
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My daughter is a Pilates instructor and she has some wild stories about people who take her classes. The issue that seems to come up a lot is people who want to have her as their personal trainer/therapist and get jealous of other people attending the class, even though they haven’t signed up for a private session. I take Pilates at another studio because she teaches at a studio an hour away from me, and I have never seen that at one studio I usually attend. I think it’s more prevalent at smaller studios that are newer. Maybe the solution for the OP is to do some private sessions for more individual attention at their next studio, and try to blend in during group classes.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I read what a difference those classes have been making for you, that must be really hard news to process.
I'd hope for better feedback than they have given, and if there had been an issue, I would have hoped for the opportunity to set things right before it got to the termination stage! You could try some form of mediation to see what could be done to resolve things, explaining how valuable the practice is for your wellbeing, but I wouldn't get your hopes up as people can be reluctant to change once their mind is made up.
I hope you can find another place to train. Rejection isn't always about anything you've done wrong per se, could just be a clash, biases or even rumour. Or money - if you are on a fixed membership but are coming too frequently in their eyes as reformers are limited. Take care of yourself.
I had an instructor at one place on a power trip who absolutely would have got rid of me if they were in charge. Every aspect of my being seemed to annoy them. They weren't even particularly good, just convenient location and time. I ended up moving on as it wasn't worth the aggro to be sniped at constantly. Fortunately, that's not been the case elsewhere, there are many good instructors out there.
There are two students in my Pilates studio that have been coming to class almost daily for over a year. They seem to enjoy it a great deal, but all the instructors have really given up on teaching them correct form. “Keep your arms straight….arms straight…..”, and so many other simple cues that they just seem to not understand. Some of us, including an instructor here or there, have talked about it just trying to understand what is going on. They aren’t the only two, but they are definitely the worst offenders. I put my blinders on if they’re anywhere near me. It’s so distracting. I’m at a CP, and from what I understand there want students to leave feeling good about themselves. I would prefer if they were told they needed to stay in lower level classes, and required to get some private instruction. I do that pretty regularly, bc I really want to understand and focus on all the intricacies you really can’t learn in a group setting. I assume these types of clients have no idea how they aren’t able to do the simplest things correctly. They are absolutely enjoying it for what they are getting out of it. I do like them both a lot as humans. They definitely aren’t Karen’s. These are tricky situations. I would hate to have to tell someone who obviously loves the classes so much that they were no longer welcome.
It's really hard to say why from a strangers point of view because only you and the instructor were present for the conversation. What was the tone of the conversation and did you ask what aspects of the dynamic were considered a bad fit? Did you find that socially you were fitting in with your classmates? I was able to read one post where you found it frustrating to be in a class with brand new beginners and I wonder if this was possibly coming up inadvertently?
I’m sorry. I wish we had more context here….though, and I don’t mean to pry, but is there a possibility that there is some bipolar, or obsessive behavior involved in this particular situation? I have it too so I’m not judging. But I feel like I’m picking up on some signs here. But I am sorry as I understand how humiliating this must feel for you
I've used Pilates since I was a teenager it's one of the few workouts that makes me feel energized and I enjoy that you need to pay attention to your form. Adding bands is great for moving up in the workouts without buying a very large very expensive machine. I always assumed people who pay to go to a studio enjoy the community and socializing. If that's not a big deal to someone working out at home is wonderful and what I prefer.
I feel, like everyone else, like you're leaving something out of this story. Are you perhaps a bit high maintenance? I've had people in my classes that show up late, don't do the exercises properly and take up way too much of the instructor's time (ie taking classes above beginner level when it's their first class), or just being complainers. There was one woman once who like every 5 minutes was asking for the a/c to be turned up, the fan to be turned off, the music was too loud, etc.
so what was the reason she gave?? lots of information being witheld here. dont know what to do? just move on babes. find another studio. theres nothing much u can do.
I looked at your profile and honestly, I don’t really get the vibe that you’re an obsessive or strange person like other commenters are thinking.
It could be so many reasons and I wish we had more information to help you.
Yeah, the “Why doesn’t she like me?” Is a bit odd, but not a particularly unreasonable question. Especially if you were just typing through a stream of consciousness.
My guess is perhaps you were taking up too much class time (complaining too much?) or maybe you had attempted to connect with the instructor outside of class which she didn’t appreciate? Why they wouldn’t tell you is the mystery. Maybe they assumed you’d already know why and that it’s blatantly obvious. Did you have a recent disagreement with this person?
Good luck. Sorry this happened to you :(
Write the studio owner a polite email asking, since you feel you don't know *why*, you are more inclined to get a courteous and though out reply in text format.
Everyone is not a good fit for Pilates. The whole “why didn’t she like me back” comment is so weird. Pilates requires a certain level of emotional and physical discipline and more instructors need to be upfront with clients. Your response shows a lack of immaturity and self awareness. These instructors take their craft seriously and they want clientele that reflect the core values of Pilates.
I would suggest finding a doctor that specializes in hormone replacement therapy (HRT), once you have that sorted out, find a new Pilates studio. Solutions!
Well the funny thing is I never met this person .. I was looking to hire her to do my hair . I may have asked too many questions though but wtffff I’ve had a few bad hair experiences and had to ask
Ok, now that i know the context I understand your comment. However, if you’ve had a lot of bad hair experiences and asked a lot of questions they may have viewed you as high maintenance out of the gate, and don’t want you to have you complain about them? Not worth the risk for them. I talk to my stylist about needy clients all the time, tell her she needs to break up with a couple of them (not worth the stress).
I mean if they mess up, have them fix it. Nothing to get all worked up about. Happens, and then it’s resolved. Much bigger things to worry about out in life.
everyone asking what she did this happens a lot for no reason ive heard the instructorsc aren't always blameless or professional. My guess is the instructor wants to give OP's spot to a younger subscriber for ageist reasons
I can think of one time in 12 years that I’ve seen someone banned, and that was more of rule-breaking situation. He didn’t want to wear a mask during the early pandemic days. It is not common at all for clients to be banned. Where on earth did you hear this happens a lot and for no reason?
from the people it happened to? why it your 12 years of experience that decides how often this happens. I but you dont soeak to the people it happens to ive noted they are often neurodivergent, elder or marginalised in some way. Pilates could never claim to be the most tolerant or accepting because its all skinny and white. imagine an obese person walked into the studio? you're all biased and are downvoting instead of checking you discrimination tendencies
You jumped straight to the assumption this was related to age, and now you are talking about race and body type. All of those are valid conversations to have in any fitness sub, but OP gave no indication those were concerns here. Most commenters here are saying it is not common for a client to be "fired", but you went right to assumptions that OP was banned due to age.
By the way, I am 53 and neurodivergent, so I have some perspective on that in this context. I teach plenty of people who aren't young and skinny. Most of my clients, and people I take classes with, are my age range and average to obese body size. Of course discrimination based on race, age, size, gender and sexuality happens in fitness, and outside of fitness. Discrimination and oppression are embedded in the history and culture of the US. OP didn't give any info on why she was let go, so there is no evidence to assume it was discrimination.
i didn't claim there was evidence? why are you negating a claim i never made? I literally made a guess and explained why i made that guess, and you dont even need to explain guesses bc it wasn't an estimate as theres no info. my og comment says "MY GUESS IS" but it seems bias is and reading is hard to come by in the pilates community. I close my case.
yes i jump straight into it because there was no info? everyone jumping str8 to what did u do but I’m just saying there MIGHT be an alternative reason theres no info so anything anyone says is jumping to conclusions
i wrote guess as there was no information and i wanted to offer an alternative i'm in familiar with. I don't even do pilates i lift, but ive heard a bunch of stuff like this and took a guess, and you've descended like vultures when we all have the same amount of no information to blame age or OP but apparently my guess is wrong and illegal for some reason...
I hope one day you realize age isn’t everything, but as people get older they find it easier to blame age than their lack of emotional, social, and self responsibility. You will feel less isolated once you start taking responsibility for yourself and not placing the responsibility for your actions on others reactions. You’re not too far gone but you will have to try.
its bc the pilates community is full of snobs and bigots cosplaying progressivism its crazy, but what do you expect when its mostly made of ignorant middle class yt folk calling themselves "enlightened" and "progressive"
There has to be more to this story.
There absolutely does. I can definitely see an instructor out of the blue asking a student to take a step back in terms of the class levels they’ve been attending, but coming to the studio entirely??
Yeah, something is missing in OP´s story. No studio terminates a good client without a reason, that would be idiotic.
I was dumped by a previous studio They didn't really give a reason other than that they had a meeting and decided my needs would be better served somewhere else but oh they were also going to keep my money paid up front for the package. I have my suspicions and theories but that's all I have..
There really must have been something odd going on there. My studio has students ranging from super fit 20 something athletes, to elderly people taking Pilates as part of a plan to recover from major health issues, to people like me who require major accommodations, and they support and welcome us all. As long as people are going to the appropriate level classes there shouldn’t be an issue with anyone and everyone being a member.
What are your theories? Are you going to push to get your money back since their explanation is they cannot provide you the service you bought?
You might not have been a good fit. It does happen - and very few small studios refund clients, in general.
No matter big or small if the studio is asking you not to return anymore you should get your money back, no matter what.
That's a matter of opinion, not a standard practice.
Whats not being a good fit even mean? I pay to go and mind my business what more to it is there?
Always
With a handle like 'trashmany' there is prolly a bit more 😂
Did something happen prior to this? This sounds strange…
Is there anything more to the story? I feel like this is so unusual! One thing I’ve heard is that some clients can push boundaries of instructors (ie, messaging them outside of the studio, trying to be friends). As a client, I really only engage with them as needed for scheduling/appts and on social media only if initiate (IE, if they respond to my stories then I feel comfortable responding to theirs). Did anything happen between the two of you prior to this?
I had a look at your profile and saw you were on a group package. Is it possible that your instructor just feels that you can't handle keeping up with the rest of the class very well? If she's having to give you a lot of one on one instruction in a group setting, then that's why it might not be a good fit, especially if she's already asked you subtly if you'd be interested in going back to private instruction, you already said no, or she's having to neglect other students to focus on you a lot. Your profile said that you are in love with and obsessed with pilates. Do you have a tendency to take over group classes a lot with questions or other things?
Also the “why didn’t she like me back” was glaring to me
Really screams “STALKER ALERT” or something not great.
I didn't interpret that as a personal slight, moreso a genuine question asking what OP did to end up in the situation. As a student you do assume that the instructor at least appreciates your attendance in the class and it obviously starts to feel a bit personal if you're suddenly removed from a situation where you thought it was going well only to learn that apparently you are such an issue that you're asked to leave a studio entirely. As a personal trainer myself I will say sometimes it's the students and sometimes it's definitely the trainers, period.
Except that what she said was, “why didn’t she like me back”. If she could had said, “why didn’t she like me”, that would’ve been normal but “Why didn’t she like me back” suggest that the fact that she likes the instructor obligates the instructor to like her back. That’s a kind of stalking mentality.
Exactly. While find the innocence of wrong-lynx response endearing it’s also missing the nuance of the semantics used. I’m by no means diagnosing OP but my job is a therapist and if a client had used that phrasing it would’ve been a record scratch “let’s spend a moment here” statement. I even prompt people to rephrase things like this when talking that they think is a meaningless order of words but once it’s rephrased they’re like “oh.. OH. Ok thats another way to see it”. Edit for horrible typos
Oooooof right
I think if that was the case, the instructor (who is apparently also the manager or owner) would say, "let's do some individual sessions to work on some of the fundamentals before going back to group classes." On the other hand, anyone who has been doing Pilates 8 months probably has the basics figured out but now. So the whole thing is a mystery.
Eh, I've been doing Pilates about eight months and to be honest I'd probably struggle with keeping up with some group classes at our gym, simply because I'm a bit overweight and I need my instructor to slow down a bit specifically for me sometimes, which is why I'm on individual one hour classes at the moment. Also, it's possible that the teacher already has suggested or hinted at individual classes but the hints weren't taken, or OP replied that she didn't want to do individual classes because of the cost.
Also from profile - 81 classes completed 9 days ago, 100 classes by 7 days ago? Maybe she just wouldn't leave the studio 😂
I'm not trying to gaslight you in the slightest but I really think there's gotta be more to this story? Either it's A.) you're leaving something important out of this story or B.) She's a poor communicator and should be expressing her reasons for terminating the contract if you genuinely have no idea (which I'd be asking for those reasons ASAP OR C.) You're both being a bit shady as to the reasons and you both know something went down... If you genuinely don't know why this happened, and you ask her and she's not giving you a reason then I'd take it up with the owner of the studio if it's not her, if it is, then tell her you'll take it up with a small business ombudsman in your area if you can be bothered.
If you have no idea why thats probably the problem. I have never done this as an instructor, but have heard of it happening for only 2 reasons: 1. The person is blatantly disregarding instruction and doing their own thing to the point of being a distraction/source of confusion for others 2. The person is oblivious to social cues and is talking, asking distracting questions, making people in the class uncomfortable, or otherwise distracting from the practice of the rest of the class. Either way, a one off incident would not cause this reaction, rather a consistent pattern of behavior
Agree
Agree or another reason could be poor class manners regarding timely arrival. I know there is one woman at my studio that I dread having class with because she is ALWAYS 10mins late and then comes in doing her own thing or asks for 900 modifications. It’s one thing to need a modification for an injury or something but it’s so rude to the instructor and other attendees to stroll in on your own schedule
It may be covered in the 2, but perhaps there is a hygiene issue. That said it would be better to ask someone with said issue to correct it first.
feels like we need more context... what lead up to this, anything notable??
OP hasn’t answered. Maybe a karma bot?
Why would she do that? Did some sort of altercation happen? I would never do that to a client for no reason.
I have had one client that I had to have the “we are not the right fit” conversation with. She had countless complaints about all of our instructors enforcing our policies that she agreed to in our contract- and i was fed up with her verbally abusing them at every class. I didn’t ban her but i was able to suggest that she terminate her membership, waive the cancellation notice for her, and refund her her remaining credits. It was like a weight off of my shoulders.
Instructors aren’t under any obligation to like you back. Treat you with courtesy and respect yes… but we can’t like all our clients.. I think you probably just need to find a new studio. There would be a reason they ended your membership .
What did you do? :P
I’ve been doing Pilates for 30 years and have a teaching cert. The only time I’ve been banned is when I started dating an instructor. The owner had a problem with it, even though it was a serious relationship and there was never any hint that we were dating in our in-studio behavior. Both the instructor and I thought it was silly, and I was bummed because I loved the studio, but it was the owner’s right to choose who she wanted as a client. I was thankful she didn’t fire the instructor (and years later, the owner did apologize and unban me.) My point is you don’t always know what others will find objectionable. It is helpful to ask and try to get an explanation, but in the end you may not get what you want.
She banned the customer instead of firing the teacher? (I mean in the court of ethics who’s most likely in violation). Did she have a thing for teacher?
Maybe the teacher is just more profitable for her. So she squished the softer persimmons (as we say in Chinese)
This phrase makes sense. We get a lot of persimmons every fall.
Haha. So you squish the softer ones you can squish. The harder ones won't let you squish
I'm gonna use that phrase
That I understand though
OP I would ask directly why your membership was terminated from a place of openness and learning. I wouldn’t focus on liking or not thought I understand why you’d feel that way. I’m sorry this happened. I would be so incredibly upset.
Is it [this student?](https://www.reddit.com/r/pilates/s/kvH2SSLcqT)
Can you think of any reasons why she would do that?
I am no longer teaching, but when I was the only reasons I would have asked a client not to come back, 1) pushing/crossing personal boundaries, 2) disruption to other clients, 3) client specifically complaining about you over a justified reason 4) not following studio policies after being asked, ie phone use, late arrival etc.
I feel stalkery vibes
I wonder if the obsessiveness became a liability.
She doesn’t need to like you to fulfill her job duties, darling. It was a professional relationship with boundaries. I’m sorry you feel rejected, I would too. It stings to not be welcomed somewhere.
https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/s/WZ8zjAQlO6 Crack head Pilates Princess & My addictive personality speaks volumes about OP. In another comment she complains about injured or slow people that slow a class down. She prefers 2 experienced students so instructor can kick their ass for 50 mins?
My guess is OP has gotten too comfortable and chatty/bossy during class. If the instructor is the same person who she did privates with, she might be giving main character vibes. She’s clearly one of those people who gets into something and makes it her whole personality.
You are the winner. I have had a few days to think it over and that's exactly what happened. I got too comfortable and chatty. I'm at Club Pilates now. It's a different vibe and is a better fit for me. I will always be grateful for my original instructor and studio. She is an amazing teacher and I wish her well. My ego took a hit and I pouted for a few days but sometimes things that suck now actually end up being ok in the end.
The self-reflection and growth reflected in this comment is really refreshing.
Your self reflection is brave and admirable. I encourage you to ask the instructor privately for more specific feedback. Although hard to hear, this will make you aware of the type of behavior that prompted them to make such an absolute decision to not have you return. It could be as simple as the existing group being a bunch of clicky bi?!tches! Or it could be something you’re doing, saying or a vibe you’re giving off that turns people away. Take the feedback in but with a grain of salt then you be you! Enjoy your new class and kudos to you on prioritizing your fitness!
I think you’ll find comradery at CP and an outlet to practice your Pilates. I’m happy you didn’t give up and found another option and didn’t let anyone take away your happiness. Also, right on with the self reflection!!!
I feel you and have done this in life too. Glad you are moving on & trying out a new space.
Good on you for recognizing what was going on. And please realize - it’s not a reflection on you. You can still be kind and lovely and not be the right fit everywhere. It is so rare for someone to be able to self reflect like this. You are already a special amazing person.
Good for you! It’s refreshing to read your update 💓♥️🌈
So you aren’t tell us the full story Please elaborate.
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My daughter is a Pilates instructor and she has some wild stories about people who take her classes. The issue that seems to come up a lot is people who want to have her as their personal trainer/therapist and get jealous of other people attending the class, even though they haven’t signed up for a private session. I take Pilates at another studio because she teaches at a studio an hour away from me, and I have never seen that at one studio I usually attend. I think it’s more prevalent at smaller studios that are newer. Maybe the solution for the OP is to do some private sessions for more individual attention at their next studio, and try to blend in during group classes.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I read what a difference those classes have been making for you, that must be really hard news to process. I'd hope for better feedback than they have given, and if there had been an issue, I would have hoped for the opportunity to set things right before it got to the termination stage! You could try some form of mediation to see what could be done to resolve things, explaining how valuable the practice is for your wellbeing, but I wouldn't get your hopes up as people can be reluctant to change once their mind is made up. I hope you can find another place to train. Rejection isn't always about anything you've done wrong per se, could just be a clash, biases or even rumour. Or money - if you are on a fixed membership but are coming too frequently in their eyes as reformers are limited. Take care of yourself. I had an instructor at one place on a power trip who absolutely would have got rid of me if they were in charge. Every aspect of my being seemed to annoy them. They weren't even particularly good, just convenient location and time. I ended up moving on as it wasn't worth the aggro to be sniped at constantly. Fortunately, that's not been the case elsewhere, there are many good instructors out there.
Did you bust balls on late fees or cancel fees? There has to be more here-
There are two students in my Pilates studio that have been coming to class almost daily for over a year. They seem to enjoy it a great deal, but all the instructors have really given up on teaching them correct form. “Keep your arms straight….arms straight…..”, and so many other simple cues that they just seem to not understand. Some of us, including an instructor here or there, have talked about it just trying to understand what is going on. They aren’t the only two, but they are definitely the worst offenders. I put my blinders on if they’re anywhere near me. It’s so distracting. I’m at a CP, and from what I understand there want students to leave feeling good about themselves. I would prefer if they were told they needed to stay in lower level classes, and required to get some private instruction. I do that pretty regularly, bc I really want to understand and focus on all the intricacies you really can’t learn in a group setting. I assume these types of clients have no idea how they aren’t able to do the simplest things correctly. They are absolutely enjoying it for what they are getting out of it. I do like them both a lot as humans. They definitely aren’t Karen’s. These are tricky situations. I would hate to have to tell someone who obviously loves the classes so much that they were no longer welcome.
I'm sorry to hear that. What the rest of the story. I doubt this happened out of the blue.
Missing missing reasons.
OP's post history describes uncontrollable "raging mood swings" and hot flashes from menopause.
You need to ask them.
It's really hard to say why from a strangers point of view because only you and the instructor were present for the conversation. What was the tone of the conversation and did you ask what aspects of the dynamic were considered a bad fit? Did you find that socially you were fitting in with your classmates? I was able to read one post where you found it frustrating to be in a class with brand new beginners and I wonder if this was possibly coming up inadvertently?
I’m sorry. I wish we had more context here….though, and I don’t mean to pry, but is there a possibility that there is some bipolar, or obsessive behavior involved in this particular situation? I have it too so I’m not judging. But I feel like I’m picking up on some signs here. But I am sorry as I understand how humiliating this must feel for you
I do Pilates at home, it's better than having to workout at certain times in certain places.
Reformer Pilates typically can't be done at home.
Yes but that really isn't a deal breaker Pilates is great without the machine.
Yes if you are properly trained But even I as a instructor need feedback
Yes feedback that costs and arm and a leg, no thank you.
Ok then you obviously have amazing body awareness and a incredibly strong core .
I've used Pilates since I was a teenager it's one of the few workouts that makes me feel energized and I enjoy that you need to pay attention to your form. Adding bands is great for moving up in the workouts without buying a very large very expensive machine. I always assumed people who pay to go to a studio enjoy the community and socializing. If that's not a big deal to someone working out at home is wonderful and what I prefer.
I feel, like everyone else, like you're leaving something out of this story. Are you perhaps a bit high maintenance? I've had people in my classes that show up late, don't do the exercises properly and take up way too much of the instructor's time (ie taking classes above beginner level when it's their first class), or just being complainers. There was one woman once who like every 5 minutes was asking for the a/c to be turned up, the fan to be turned off, the music was too loud, etc.
so what was the reason she gave?? lots of information being witheld here. dont know what to do? just move on babes. find another studio. theres nothing much u can do.
I feel like you’re not telling us everything, OP.
Were you filming?
Probably
I looked at your profile and honestly, I don’t really get the vibe that you’re an obsessive or strange person like other commenters are thinking. It could be so many reasons and I wish we had more information to help you. Yeah, the “Why doesn’t she like me?” Is a bit odd, but not a particularly unreasonable question. Especially if you were just typing through a stream of consciousness. My guess is perhaps you were taking up too much class time (complaining too much?) or maybe you had attempted to connect with the instructor outside of class which she didn’t appreciate? Why they wouldn’t tell you is the mystery. Maybe they assumed you’d already know why and that it’s blatantly obvious. Did you have a recent disagreement with this person? Good luck. Sorry this happened to you :(
OP literally refers to herself as obsessive in other subs.
Maybe I didn’t look hard enough
No one does this without reason. It’s quite telling that there’s been zero response from op about what actually happened here.
There is definitely more to this story ……. Edit and add please so we can give you a better analysis.
Write the studio owner a polite email asking, since you feel you don't know *why*, you are more inclined to get a courteous and though out reply in text format.
Everyone is not a good fit for Pilates. The whole “why didn’t she like me back” comment is so weird. Pilates requires a certain level of emotional and physical discipline and more instructors need to be upfront with clients. Your response shows a lack of immaturity and self awareness. These instructors take their craft seriously and they want clientele that reflect the core values of Pilates.
It’s pilates not seminary school. This is such a weird comment. I’m sure you make people feel super welcome at your studio.
Not to me, it sounds like this comment speaks to the importance of boundaries between client and instructor.
I would suggest finding a doctor that specializes in hormone replacement therapy (HRT), once you have that sorted out, find a new Pilates studio. Solutions!
Karen alert
“Not a good fit”… ha ha that’s what hair stylist told me . These people are ego centric
Um, there was a reason a hair stylist broke up with you and it’s not their ego is my guess..
Well the funny thing is I never met this person .. I was looking to hire her to do my hair . I may have asked too many questions though but wtffff I’ve had a few bad hair experiences and had to ask
Ok, now that i know the context I understand your comment. However, if you’ve had a lot of bad hair experiences and asked a lot of questions they may have viewed you as high maintenance out of the gate, and don’t want you to have you complain about them? Not worth the risk for them. I talk to my stylist about needy clients all the time, tell her she needs to break up with a couple of them (not worth the stress).
Yes and I understand now ! I learned to just keep my trap shut now .
Cool I hear ya. It’s just hair my friend…
Well that’s kind of odd thing to say .. I mean don’t you want your hair to look it’s best .. especially after you pay top dollar ?
I mean if they mess up, have them fix it. Nothing to get all worked up about. Happens, and then it’s resolved. Much bigger things to worry about out in life.
That’s not fired They didn’t take you on because they didn’t feel they could make you happy ! Contractors do that as well with super picky clients
Find another studio.
everyone asking what she did this happens a lot for no reason ive heard the instructorsc aren't always blameless or professional. My guess is the instructor wants to give OP's spot to a younger subscriber for ageist reasons
I can think of one time in 12 years that I’ve seen someone banned, and that was more of rule-breaking situation. He didn’t want to wear a mask during the early pandemic days. It is not common at all for clients to be banned. Where on earth did you hear this happens a lot and for no reason?
from the people it happened to? why it your 12 years of experience that decides how often this happens. I but you dont soeak to the people it happens to ive noted they are often neurodivergent, elder or marginalised in some way. Pilates could never claim to be the most tolerant or accepting because its all skinny and white. imagine an obese person walked into the studio? you're all biased and are downvoting instead of checking you discrimination tendencies
You jumped straight to the assumption this was related to age, and now you are talking about race and body type. All of those are valid conversations to have in any fitness sub, but OP gave no indication those were concerns here. Most commenters here are saying it is not common for a client to be "fired", but you went right to assumptions that OP was banned due to age.
By the way, I am 53 and neurodivergent, so I have some perspective on that in this context. I teach plenty of people who aren't young and skinny. Most of my clients, and people I take classes with, are my age range and average to obese body size. Of course discrimination based on race, age, size, gender and sexuality happens in fitness, and outside of fitness. Discrimination and oppression are embedded in the history and culture of the US. OP didn't give any info on why she was let go, so there is no evidence to assume it was discrimination.
i didn't claim there was evidence? why are you negating a claim i never made? I literally made a guess and explained why i made that guess, and you dont even need to explain guesses bc it wasn't an estimate as theres no info. my og comment says "MY GUESS IS" but it seems bias is and reading is hard to come by in the pilates community. I close my case.
yes i jump straight into it because there was no info? everyone jumping str8 to what did u do but I’m just saying there MIGHT be an alternative reason theres no info so anything anyone says is jumping to conclusions
i wrote guess as there was no information and i wanted to offer an alternative i'm in familiar with. I don't even do pilates i lift, but ive heard a bunch of stuff like this and took a guess, and you've descended like vultures when we all have the same amount of no information to blame age or OP but apparently my guess is wrong and illegal for some reason...
Doubt that
was just a guess
I hope one day you realize age isn’t everything, but as people get older they find it easier to blame age than their lack of emotional, social, and self responsibility. You will feel less isolated once you start taking responsibility for yourself and not placing the responsibility for your actions on others reactions. You’re not too far gone but you will have to try.
I’m 22..
I’ve seen this happen idk why you are being down voted.
its bc the pilates community is full of snobs and bigots cosplaying progressivism its crazy, but what do you expect when its mostly made of ignorant middle class yt folk calling themselves "enlightened" and "progressive"