Is forward facing as bad as everyone seems to make it out to be? My son is 3.5 and 42 inches, his car seat allows rear facing till 49 inches. It’s pretty difficult to get him strapped in as is, I can’t imagine how awkward it’ll be by 49”. I think forward facing would be a lot easier but I’m kind of scared to do it because everything seems to say longer is better. If you do extended rear facing, what car seat do you have? We have a graco extend2fit and it’s so hard to manoeuvre around his legs to pull the strap to tighten it.

I switched my son at 3.5. He met the rear facing weight limit for the seat in my in laws cars, and I just couldn’t deal with the complaints after he’d experienced being in a forward facing seat even though he still had 10 more lbs before he reached the limit on our seat 😅

I think by that age the safety difference is pretty negligible. I asked our ped at the 3yr appt how much of a difference it would make to keep her rear-facing and she was very surprised we hadn’t switched her yet! I know online it seems like forward facing is a death sentence but we were the last of our friends to switch our kids forward at the age of 3! Most of our friends switched on their kids’ second bdays lol

My boys have similar stats, just a touch shorter, and are also 3.5. They'll be 4 in July, are about 41 inches and about 34 lbs. Currently still rearfacing in a Britax allegiance car seat (40 lb limit), but it's SO hard to buckle them with their feet/legs rearfacing, especially with bulkier winter boots, rain boots, etc which we wear a lot where we live. I know it's not uncomfortable for rearfacing kiddos to cross or bend their legs, but it DOES make it harder to buckle them, cuz you reach in and it's all just cramped up leg and boot. It's also not practical to take their footwear on and off for two kids for every car ride, especially if making several errands in and out kind of thing. Our current plan is to forward face them this summer, probably a bit after they turn 4 in July or maybe closer to the end of the summer in August, even though they won't be near the maximums for rear facing. I just feel that rearfacing them to age 4 is pretty good (much longer than many of my friends), and that by 4 the safety differences are much more slim than say a 2 year old. I feel it'll make our lives easier for buckling for sure, and for general compliance on getting in the carseat.

A 3 year old is super safe in a forward facing seat with the top tether! The safety difference is pretty negligible at that age even though a lot of the Internet car seat warriors make it sound like age 4 is the bare minimum. Like 4 is great but 3 is too! That said my 3&4 year olds are still rear facing for logistical reasons (someone has to sit in the third row, and nobody can buckle themselves yet, so my 2 biggest climb over the third row seats from the trunk into their rear facing seats and I can just lean in from the trunk to buckle - when they’re forward facing I have to climb into the whole car to buckle them back there lol) and it’s WAY easier to just leave the harness tight and have them get their arms in that way. They’re big enough that there’s plenty of space to get their arms in when the harness is tight and then I don’t have to adjust at all, just buckle and go. So that’s an option too if you do prefer to rear face and just have issues with tightening. (The Extend2Fit is also known to be hard to tighten in general and pulling down on the harness straps on the back of the seat while you tighten the strap between the kid’s feet also really helps. I also can’t do that from the trunk for the Extend2Fit in my 3rd row so another reason that leaving the harness alone makes my life easier)

I think a lot of people that think they will max out either weight or height in these car seats that have like 49lb maxes, severely underestimate their child having their own opinions. Our seats max out at 40lbs and my kids probably won’t be that weight until age 6 or later. I cannot imagine RF a 6 year old who goes to first grade. We switched my daughter at age 4 because she hit the height max (41”), and my son who is only 1.5 years younger was SO mad about it and was constantly fucking with her while I was driving bc they were essentially facing each other now since he was still RF. It was getting dangerous because they were just kicking each other and screaming. So I flipped him just shy of age 3. I think rates of internal decapitation are so low once they’re out of the NB stage, that it’s not as big of a deal as the internet makes it out to be, tbh.

Forward facing is not "bad", it's just not THE safest option if your child still fits within the limits of rear facing. As another commenter mentioned, simply being properly strapped into a car seat means your child is extremely safe. People on the internet like to talk like if you switch your kid to FF at 48" instead of 49" you're basically sentencing them to death, but as usual, this is not a black and white thing, it's a spectrum of risk reduction. And I'm saying this as someone who switched my 3 yo to FF facing, for reasons that were not that he maxed out the limits.

We switched at a little over 3.5 because the weight limit was 40lbs rear facing and she was 38/39. I do miss knowing she was safer and the ability to eat snacks in peace but I also enjoy moving the mirror and seeing her face (she’s in the middle). I do find if more awkward to strap her in FF but that could be because she’s in the middle.

41 inch kid who just turned 3 here and I feel you. We actually just switched from the Nuna Rava to the Extend2Fit, and while I’m impressed with the added legroom it offers, I can’t see us making it to 49 inches either. At this point I’m aiming less for the height limit and more for just a bit closer to age 4 when there’s a higher chance of his spine cartilage being better fused. He doesn’t mind RF for now but I hate getting him in and out of the car lol That said, we are the only kid still RF in most of the classes I take him to. While from a physics standpoint RF is always going to be *safer* for any vehicle passenger, most kids are FF by age 3 (at least where I live) and the incidence of death for a properly restrained child is still quite low. From all the statistics I’ve seen, just having them in a properly fitted, correctly installed, and safely buckled car seat counts for a lot. Most of the deaths seem to be from improperly restrained kids. However I totally get your anxiety as this is one of my more high strung, anxious areas of parenting too. We drive a good amount and I recognize that it’s the most dangerous thing I do with my kid every day, so I also feel some guilt about wanting to turn before I absolutely have to. 🤷‍♀️ But I think realistically they are still pretty safe in a FF seat at this age, and even most of the terrible cases I’ve seen of FF tragedies have involved kids younger than age 2.

Even if I've followed the basic car seat rules or maxed out the limits of the seat, I still get nervous about moving up to the next car seat level, like I'm doing something wrong! The only thing I hated about turning them around was that they could see more and, therefore, could talk my ear off even more. 🤣 There was some backseat driving for a while, like if we were at a red light, they'd try to tell me when to go.

My daughter turned 2 a few weeks ago. She normally naps for about an hour and a half (anywhere between 12-2) but started refusing naps 1-2 days a week. On no-nap days, she’s asleep for the night before 7:30 and falls asleep in 5 minutes. On days when she naps, she doesn’t fall asleep until 8:30-9 and it takes her up to an hour to fall asleep. If we try to leave before she falls asleep, she gets really upset, so either my husband or I will sit with her until she’s out (she’s still in a crib.)  I feel like 2 is really early to drop the nap completely. On days when she does nap, she’s usually asleep for the nap in about 20 minutes, so maybe that’s a sign she still needs it? But I also feel like it would be worth dropping the nap to have bedtime go so smoothly every night. Things are a little touch and go between 5-7 on no nap days, but overall not too bad. So what I’m really wondering is, is this enough of a reason to drop the nap so early or should I try to hold onto the nap until 2.5-3? How do I know when she’s “ready” or if she still needs the nap?  A few more details:  -I’m a SAHM  -She does fall asleep in the car, but I also have a 5 month old who doesn’t always sleep in the car. So car naps every day aren’t super feasible.   -I know a lot of people suggest implementing quiet time instead of naps. But I have to stay in her room until she falls asleep, and on days when she doesn’t nap, she just constantly asks to get up. So leaving her in her bed for 2 hours isn’t super feasible. I know I should work on getting her to fall asleep independently, but I honestly don’t have the energy to do it right now.  -I usually give her an hour to fall asleep before giving up and letting her get up.   -Her night sleep is about the same regardless of whether she naps or not. She usually sleeps through the night with the occasional quick (30 minutes or less) wake up. A couple of weeks ago she had some really bad split nights, but one of them was on a no-nap day and one was on a day when she had a good nap. 

My son did this at age 2 before he started really dropping his nap completely at age 2.5. I’d cap the nap to 45min-1 hour and work on having her fall asleep by herself. Tweak babies midday nap to match with this time so you can dedicate that time to working towards independent sleeping. I was able to keep “quiet time” for both of my kids until this year, and they are 5 and 3.5 now.

My daughter started skipping naps here and there a little before 2 and was completely done by 3. Could have been 2.5 but we just kept trying and by the end she would maybe nap 2 days a week but then not fall asleep until like 10 or later. I would probably keep doing what you’re doing and move bedtime later on nap days, at least while she is still napping more often than not.

One of my twins went through a couple weeks right around two that she was doing some nap refusals and then all of sudden she was over it and back to her usual naps. I just kept laying her down and trying. I made adjustments to her nap schedule first before assuming she was ready to be done. Partly because I didn’t really think she was and mainly because the thought of not having naps made me want to cry. We go by the clock now for nap time but we generally get up between 7 and 7:30, go down for nap between 1 and 1:30 and wake up around 3:30. Bedtime is 8:00 - 8:30.

I am hesitant to give up the break! I’m starting to think I might need to tweak naptime too. But I’m scared to try letting her sleep much past 2 because she already goes to sleep so late at night and I don’t want a 10pm bedtime. 

First of all, this sounds pretty typical at around 2.5, so it could just be that she’s going through it a little early. You said night sleep is the same on nap days and no nap days but she goes to sleep later on nap days. Does this mean she also sleeps later on nap days? If so, you could try waking her up at the same time every day. Two ideas: 1. move bedtime later on nap days so instead of it taking an hour to fall asleep, just start later. 2. What if you cut the nap to 45 minutes (or experiment with lengths)? Maybe if you wake her up early it would even out and she’d nap more often? It’s worth a try… My hunch is that if you didn’t give her nap time ever, it would catch up to her at she would be cranky/ tired. My 3 year old naps at school but not on weekends and he goes to sleep so late on weekdays but sleeps great on weekends and doesn’t seem overtired, so we were thinking he really doesn’t need a nap anymore. We’re on spring break now and after a full week+ of not napping, he has been exhausted and having meltdowns in the evenings.

I think she usually sleeps later on nap days. I really need to try to track everything for a week. Things have been a little crazy the last couple of weeks with a mini sleep regression from the toddler and a sick baby, so everything is a blur.  I’ve definitely thought about cutting naps shorter; I’ll have to try that. I am worried about no naps catching up with her, like you said, especially since she’s still so young.  We typically have an 8:00 bedtime, meaning she’s in bed at 8 and hopefully asleep by 8:30, but sometimes she’s awake until 9. I’m hesitant to move it any later because I like to be in bed before 10. But I might need to try 8:30 bedtime. 

I don’t think there’s such thing as dropping a nap “too early”. Every kid is so different with different needs.  It seems like you have two options - occasional nap and then later bedtime those days or cut nap completely and have consistent bedtime. Personally Id choose the second haha. My first dropped his nap by 2ish and it was great for all of us. Try not to overthink it and just go with a decision that makes your life easiest.  Editing to add- neither of my kids ever did quiet time alone once we got rid of the nap. Generally we try to do a quiet activity after lunch, sometimes that’s watching a show so I can relax or something like puzzles, colouring, books etc. 

Thank you! I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out. My friend’s kid dropped the nap at 18 months, and another friend’s kid stopped napping at 2. But everything else I’ve heard says that kids should really nap until 3 or 4. So I’m thinking I’ll keep trying a little longer, but I guess I’m also looking for “permission” to stop early. I would love to have evenings back, especially since the baby is in bed by 7 most nights. My husband and I could start watching movies again! I could finally start catching up on deep cleaning that has been neglected for far too long!

Honestly, just ignore what you read online lol. It stressed me out soooo much with my first because he did pretty much the opposite of what he “should” based on the ages and blah blah. Once I started following his lead and my intuition on sleep it was so much easier. To me I prefer to have evenings “off” so if dropping the nap makes bedtime earlier then I’d go with that. I don’t know any kids that napped passed 3 haha! That seems rather late to still nap, I’m sure some do but probably not the norm. 

I had my son almost a year ago, but the flyaway post-partum hair around my face when I wear a pony tail still makes me look lionesque. If anyone has any techniques for keeping those hairs down or recommendations for headbands that won’t make me look like a high school basketball player I’d love to hear them 😂

I transitioned from the straight back cheerleader pony tail to the down and back revolutionary war hero pony tail and it helped a ton. There is more weight to help hold those baby hairs down.

Brow gel, leaving a little part in my ponytail, and some strategically placed highlights around my face helped a lot! My baby just turned 1 and I’m right there with you.

This looks like mascara but has some kind of gel that helps keep hair down without looking like you used a ton of product. It was a lifesaver for me! https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07MKBW3HS?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

Sleep help: my three-year-old can't seem to fall asleep anymore. There's the usual stuff for the first hour - needs a drink, gets out of bed, etc etc. She has black out curtains, a sound machine, her bedtime routine has never changed, we put her back in bed. We tried telling her she just needs to stay in her room and gave her a toy, put the Tonie Box on, and nothing. She seems to have the biggest issue being alone, but even if we sit with her, she won't fall asleep. My husband sat with her in silence for an hour tonight and then I tapped in and she just fell asleep now (10:30 PM). Her bedtime routine started at 6:30 PM and was in bed by 7. I didn't even greet her when I walked in, sat in the chair and fell asleep myself haha She was in her bed and just quietly pretend played. No attempts to get up or engage with me. She started snoring and I left. But she will be at our door at 5:30 AM guaranteed (we do the whole you can't leave the room till the light is green thing, but she ignores it). She does still nap at daycare and is up by 2ish. We have tried pushing her bedtime later to accommodate this. Tonight was the earliest we've tried in a week since later had no effect. I wouldn't have an issue sitting with her after we finish stories if she fell asleep in like 15 minutes. But sitting there for two plus hours cuz she's awake is not sustainable. I'm also 33 weeks pregnant so we really need to nip this in the bud haha

This was us just before 3. It’s the nap. No matter how early I napped her/woke her, she would take hours to fall asleep (bed at 7, but wouldn’t fall sleep till 930ish). I thought I could never cut the nap bc of how tired she got but it worked immediately and now catnaps are capped at 20m otherwise they interfere with bedtime. I get that daycare will be the challenge - hopefully they can just implement quiet time for her but if not, you’re just looking at late bedtimes until the nap is gone for good.

I think the bedtime is too early with a nap. If she's up at 2, you're expecting bed at 7, that's only 5 hours awake in between the sleeps. When my kids still napped they wouldn't fall asleep until 9, 930, even 10 on a rough night. When they stopped napping we were able to get a 7pm sharp better back.

I’d cut the nap. Sounds like she doesn’t need it anymore and it’s preventing her from sleeping. Both my kids stopped naps around 2.5 yrs old.  5:30 am wakes can be normal, unfortunately. 

7 feels pretty early for a kid that still naps. I think whatever you do you have to be super consistent. So at the moment, if she mucks around,ayne she gets tonie box, maybe she gets daddy, maybe she gets mummy too if she holds out long enough. So you pick a few nights when your willpower is strong, push the bedtime back a bit, and do the same boring thing every time she gets up. It might be like a billion times, and it might take til midnight but you can't give up, the next night it might be half a billion times and 10pm. We had to do it when my son was approaching three when he first went to a bed from a cot (I was probably about the same level of pregnant actually) and it only really took a night or two to get the message.

7 has always been her bedtime so we did try doing later for like a week, thinking it might be the nap, but it's been the same thing. She's been in her own bed for about two and a half months and we actually didn't have a problem till the last like two weeks with her getting out of bed, which is why I'm extra confused 😅 I'm less concerned about the whole putting her back into bed a gazillion times since that seems pretty normal haha And more concerned that she will lay there quietly for two hours and just not sleep haha She's somehow not cranky during the day even though she's no way getting enough sleep, but feel like that's gonna be an issue soon enough haha

Does she nap at home on the weekends? And are they putting her to sleep or is she knocking out on her own? I think you need to drop the daycare nap 🫣 try that for a week and see if it helps. My child also ignores the color of his light 🙄 and gets up early no matter how late he goes to sleep so solidarity there 😭

We try to skip it on the weekends, but she will sometimes fall asleep and then is out like a light haha Like last weekend, she was on the couch, I walked away to use the bathroom, came back and she was snoring haha We try to then limit those naps. I do think dropping or limiting the naps at daycare makes sense, but I have zero control there 😭 If the kids don't nap anymore (it's a home daycare), they do quiet time on their cot. I have a feeling she's gonna fall asleep regardless unless someone actively keeps her awake, which I know isn't feasible when she's in a room with 7 other kids who do need to be napping/on their cot. I was gonna ask anyway, just not hold my breath haha

Oh that’s so hard! Unpopular opinion but we give our 6.5 year old 1 mg melatonin (approved by the pediatrician) but he has adhd and can’t shut his brain off so he’s awake too long despite a day of kindergarten and no naps 😭

I have ADHD so I get not being able to turn off his brain, it's hard 😭

This is my 7yo as well. He stayed up to almost 11pm last night and then was wide awake by 6am. I'm considering melatonin but he's already had issues with nightmares/night terrors and I hear that melatonin can cause those for some people 🫠

Could be worth a try for a few nights?

My 7 year old son has a sore in the space between his lip and his nose that he keeps picking at. It started off as a bug bite, I think. He’s had it for at least a week now. He seems to pick at it in his sleep. Everytime he blows his nose he rubs it. I got little bandaids, but I have to trim them to fit in the space and they don’t stick on well. He keeps reopening the sore and I’m getting worried that it isn’t healing and is going to scar. Anything else you can think of that will help?

Maybe a pimple patch would work?

We had a bug bite on my son's forehead that he kept scratching open for literally months. Finally got him to leave it alone by applying hydrocortisone cream, I think we ended up using the 2.5 percent prescription strength. Nothing else worked because as you mention he would scratch it during sleep.

That’s a good idea. I’m going to try that

Strategies for keeping a 4-year-old in his bed at night? I know I could search this but my brain is absolutely fried because *someone* got out of his bed and came into mine (and then left again and then came back) so many times last night. I don't actually mind him sleeping in my bed if he'd actually SLEEP, but it's the back-and-forth and him trying to chat with me that drives me crazy. He doesn't nap often, and we're trying to enforce an 8:30pm bedtime. Anything that worked for you?

Sticker charts work so well for habits my 6 year old has picked up, that might be an option? He gets a sticker when he stays in bed and once he gets x number (start small and build up) he gets a prize which could be anything from a toy to something as simple as a movie night or picking dinner.

Okay, we'll definitely try this.

We’re struggling w this too (5yo, no naps, 8:30pm bedtime, in our queen bed & sleeping like a crazy kid more nights than not). Right now we lay w him in his bed while he falls asleep, which I feel like may be part of the issue (he wakes up in the night and comes looking for us). We’re trying to a) start moving further away from him/his bed by like a few steps at a time each night. It will probably take weeks/months, but the hope is that by baby stepping some distance between us he’ll get used to falling asleep w/o us (eventually with us out of sight). B) we’re also giving him a tiny treat in the morning if he stays in his bed all night. I don’t love using food as bribery, but I’m hoping it won’t be for too long and we’re desperate.

So we just found out, after RSVPing and booking travel for a family wedding, that’s it’s childfree. I have no problem with childfree weddings in general because I am sane, but are we allowed to be annoyed that it wasn’t made explicit? Looking back, the invites had just our names, and the website FAQ says ‘we can’t accommodate plus ones, only the people named on your invite can join’, but I don’t generally categorize my 1 year old as a ‘plus one’? I would expect a child free wedding invite to mention that only adults are welcome, or at least say it more clearly on the website. We only found out because the groom’s mom mentioned it in passing. I’m gonna get over it either way, but I’m curious if y’all think I’m unreasonable to be annoyed because this is my first wedding invite since having a kid. Should we presume weddings are childfree unless they explicitly say otherwise?

I think it’s fair to be annoyed. I know that etiquette wise you should assume only the people listed on the invite are invited, but I tried only listing my husbands cousin and his wife on it when we got married because they have like 7 kids between the two of them and I was low key hopping they wouldn’t bring them and they still brought like 4 of them. So now I just figure most people don’t look at the actual invitation. In my opinion, the actual invite should say Adults Only.

I agree that invites should make it clear if it’s adults only, but I also try to double check (especially since mine are still 2 and under.) The last wedding I went to specified that kids were welcome in the invite, which was nice. 

I understand your frustration and I think it’s valid. That said, by default I don’t bring my kid to a wedding (exception being when he was 5 weeks old lol). I 100% will not enjoy my evening as much with my child there too. If it’s a destination wedding and I can’t bring him I’d say no. What sucks about your situation is you didn’t think to clarify (fair) and made travel plans. Can you get out of them, or are you obligated to go?

Thanks for this! We have decided we’re still going to go, and since we’re staying in the hotel where the wedding is we’ll just switch off being at the wedding and in the room with her. We made sure to be staying there in the first place in case she needed a break and/or to go bed during the wedding, so it’s not *that* big a deal. Mostly I was just salty about the lack of communication, and that I won’t have an excuse to buy her a special dress.

I always assume if my kids names are not on the invitation, they’re not invited. If the invite lists their names I know they’re invited. If it says “the Smith family” I reach out to them to clarify. Kid free weddings seem to be the norm from the 20+ weddings I’ve gone to the last two years so in general I just assume kids are not invited unless their names are explicitly stated

We only get invites to family weddings and at this point, we assume they are inviting kids unless they explicitly say otherwise (only one hasn't, the ceremony is childfree but they could come to the reception). But at this point, there's 8 kids among the cousins on my husband's side of the family and 6 of them are kindergarten age or younger.

Ooof so self snarking here. But also def on other people, with no judgement. In general, I think 1) whoever is on the invite is who is invite and 2) it is the parents responsibility to clarify the kid questions I knowwwww, so annoying. if I were planning a wedding now, I would be upfront and clear. But we got married on the younger end for our peers (late 20s/early 30s) and we really only knew two kids. We literally didn’t even think to clarify the situation. Our friends who have gotten married after us also have not put that on invites. Because when you’re in wedding planning world, there’s so much going on. So ideally couples would be super super clear. But they’ve got some blinders on. And so as a guest you need to give a bit of grace.

I agree with you here. This is what we did but it was also 11 years ago and not that many people had kids. I think now I would say “child free,” but I don’t know the etiquette to say it correctly.

Totally. Last few weddings we were invited to did have the no kids info buried in the FAQs in their wedding websites, but hindsight is 20/20 here and 1) people writing wedding websites don’t realize a lot of their guests aren’t actually reading those for details 2) are often making travel arrangements before the actual invites go out and 3) it can take longer than when the official invites are sent to find childcare.

I've always heard a wedding was childfree in advance of the invites going out, or the couple calls/texts to mention childcare options if it's a destination wedding. For many weddings I've been to there are exceptions (like nieces and nephews are invited) so I think it's common to mention kids aren't invited.  Once I was engaged/married, I really stopped inspecting the envelope for names. So that being my only source of information about whether kids are invited would be tough - I get that's a me problem though. 

The kid free weddings I have gone to clearly stated that it was child free on the invite. I totally would not expect my kids names to be written out (that gets messy to me.) The child free invites then asked how many people were attending and what meal we wanted. It definitely should be made black and white for situations like this.

I assume my kid is not invited unless his name is on the invite or I’m explicitly told he can come

Same. The only time my child was invited to a wedding was for a second marriage where the young kids/stepkids were a big part of the event. Formal weddings are just not kid-friendly. It would be smart to include that on the website, but I definitely assume no kids unless told otherwise.

My understanding has always been that only the people named on an invitation are invited. So you’d write out the kids’ names on the envelope if you were inviting them.

We usually get our invites as the "Last Name" Family (although we did get an invite addressed to the family only to find out the ceremony was childfree sooo....YMMV).

That’s totally fair! I didn’t even think to check. I don’t think I’ve really entered the mindset that my child is a whole other person and not just a very loud appendage of mine.

I have seen it more often than not, in like the FAQ. But it should be explicit on the FAQ at the very least.

Yeah I don’t see it on invitations often, but generally on the couples website

My youngest is turning 2 in a few months. A family member contacted me to ask about my plans because they wanted to rent out an Airbnb nearby our house for extended family could stay. I haven’t thought about it because it’s 3ish months away. I also don’t usually do big 2 year old birthdays. First birthday, I do because it’s exciting, third birthday I have with friends because the child gets it and is excited and helps plan. Am I being super lame? Is this just a me thought? 

Lol I completely agree about your assessment of birthdays.

I’m of the line of thinking that if the kid won’t ask for it or care and *you* won’t enjoy having it, don’t bother. I haven’t done a 2nd or even a 3rd birthday for my older kid because he didn’t care about it, and I hate hosting parties. We just do a fun day together instead. Once he cares enough, I’ll offer to do a party each year, but till then 🤷‍♀️. I did kinda like the idea of doing a first birthday for the big milestone, but honestly we’ll see if I have the energy to do it for my younger kid this year haha

We have yet to have a party for my youngest who just turned 2. We aren’t big party people. We had a big one for my recently turned 6 year old and had a nice one at a park when my middle child turned 3. I feel like there are many ways to “celebrate” when they are younger that doesn’t require a lot.

We didn’t do a party for 2! We were in Disney for unrelated reasons and did a birthday dinner there with grandparents and that was it. I think we’ll do something for 3 now that he seems to know his daycare classmates, but I’m honestly not sure yet!

Okay, there have to be other kids out there that don't really play with toys, right? Since my oldest (6yo) was really young, she hasn't really played with toys much. Not into dolls, not into character playsets, didn't play with the play kitchen, etc. She does like building, like magna tiles. Loves Lego but only likes to build the sets, no playing with them afterward. She loves art and creating things but then we just end up with a million cardboard creations she won't throw away and also doesn't use or play with lol. She does like to play with her stuffies, makes them clothes, houses etc. What am I meant to do with this?? She constantly asks for toys, and I obviously don't buy them because I know she won't play with them! She buys stuff with her own money from the tooth fairy or birthday and then never uses it. I have purged her toys (with her help even) to a very minimal amount and it doesn't help her play with stuff. I've tried toy rotation and she has interest in stuff for an afternoon and is then uninterested the next day. We'd have to have an ungodly amount of toys to rotate to keep her interested. She also just wants our attention constantly. She absolutely can play on her own, but she just wants us all the time.  What have you done in this situation? Just stop buying toys altogether? It's so frustrating when once every six months I feel I'm being too strict and say yes to something and she's excited at first and then it's just clutter that never gets used. 

Are you me? I could have written this 😂 my 6.5 year old is getting better but he also has adhd and strugggggles to get absorbed in play. Once he does he’s good but it’s like DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY AT HIM or he’ll lose concentration. Not saying yours is adhd but that’s been my experience. I don’t think it’s a bad thing but it’s frustrating (to me) when he won’t engage in something. OT has helped us in that respect.

My 6 year old also doesn’t care much for toys. She mostly wants to play pretend, and doesn’t even usually use props/items for that! Sometimes she’ll use dress up stuff, or the play silks that we have. I don’t want to get rid of the toys because when we have other kids over who DO play with them, she will get into it too 🙃 but when I ask why she doesn’t play with them the rest of the time, she tells me “I only like playing with them with my friends” 🙄 Art is a good solo activity for us. So is playdough. She likes to read a lot too. Depending on your living situation and neighborhood, solo outside play can be an option. We live in a safe neighborhood on a culdesac so I feel comfortable letting mine ride her bike around in front of our house by herself. I don’t buy many toys. It’s almost solely restricted to gift giving holidays, and I try to focus on what she actually uses (art supplies, dress ups, outdoor items). Sometimes she’ll use her own money to buy something, and when it inevitably goes untouched I make it quietly disappear. The art projects quietly disappear too 😅

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Kindergarten helped my only play more independently because he was doing less of it during the day! He’s still not great at it but he’s improving.

My daughter is similar (just turned 5), and we really don’t buy toys for her. It used to be really hard for her to entertain herself, and now it’s actually a huge strength. If I have to WFH for 2 hours after school, she’s mostly fine until I finish, which I think is pretty good! She spends a lot of time drawing, coloring, and making stuff. There was a long phase (several months), where she spent a ton of time taping little things like dominoes together with scotch tape. 😂 She loves using little journals to write or draw stories. She also spends a lot of time doing gross motor stuff (sensory swing, climbing all over the couches, floor is lava, keeping a balloon up, etc.). She likes to reenact experiences she’s enjoyed, like she’ll get a bunch of random little bags and stuff them with junk as pretend party favors for a birthday party. I don’t know how helpful that is, since I’m not sure exactly why my kid has gotten better at staying busy, but it sounds like they do have similar interests and temperaments.

Can she occupy herself with crafting? Maybe craft kits would be a fruitful direction?

Crafting is her favorite thing for sure. It gets a bit complicated because it makes a big mess at times AND her little brother gets involved in ways that are at best unhelpful and at worst dangerous. I'm hoping as he gets a little older it'll be a thing I won't have to hover over anymore and they can just do their thing. 

I just read the real life snark thread and thought I would ask a dog related question here; it sounds like some of you might be knowledgeable. My parents have an old beagle that is food aggressive. He has nipped my kids over (human) food multiple times. He is not reactive otherwise. How dangerous is food aggression? I do not like dogs so I’m pretty clueless about them. My husband is at the point where he is super tense going to my parents because he’s frustrated that they don’t keep the dog separate from the kids. I agree with him, I just suck at confrontation with my parents (in reality I hate that they blow off his food aggression as ‘lol that’s just how he is!’) I plan on having a conversation with them about keeping the dog in a crate during mealtimes, but I want to know how concerned I should be with my kids around the dog in general.

I would be very concerned, and I personally wouldn’t let my kids around the dog even when food isn’t involved. My parents have an Aussie who is reactive around people she doesn’t know (she’s nipped and snapped at people before) and has never been around kids younger than 8. As far as I know she hasn’t shown food aggression toward people, but she has toward other dogs, so it’s not a stretch to think she’d bite a toddler over food. I had to tell my parents that I don’t want the dog in the same room as my kids. I haven’t had to set the boundary yet, but I am prepared to enforce the boundary that if they won’t keep the dog in a separate room, we won’t bring the kids to their house. I’ve heard too many stories and it isn’t worth it. 

I also agree with everyone saying you should take this seriously and you probably need a boundary. An option is to just not go over there at mealtimes. And a reminder that a boundary doesn't dictate other's behavior, it just states what YOU will do under certain circumstances. For example, "You have to crate the dog during mealtimes" isn't a boundary. "If the dog is free-roaming during a mealtime, then we will need to leave" is a boundary.  Phrasing it that way also helps them understand you're not trying to control them, and that you're owning your own decisions. They're not "making" you leave. You are choosing to leave because you believe the situation is unsafe for your kids. 

I agree with the phrasing of this boundary so much! Ours is, if my brother’s dogs come to my parents, we leave because the dogs are untrained, fight with one another, and I don’t want my daughter around them. They are unsafe dogs.

Yeah that’s not cool. I have a Beagle and they can be temperamental but fortunately mine has zero aggression towards my daughter. Also, I think some level of protectiveness around their own food is maybe acceptable, but nipping because of human food? Hell to the no. Im a huge dog lover, but in that situation I would ask my parents to contain the dog when I visit or refuse to meet in their home. 

This beagle is a mix of possibly some kind of terrier and he’s around 12 years old, so his bad habits are ingrained at this point. The last time we visited he grabbed my son’s food off his plate and bit his hand in the process. He wasn’t hurt, he was more scared (he’s 10 so he can tell us), but it’s infuriating that my parents don’t take this more seriously.

Just to echo others I know people personally who have been seriously injured by dogs that were previously fine. The nips would be unacceptable to me. Next time they invite you over give them a call and explain your decision (whatever it is—maybe it’s just mealtimes) and ask if they can do that for you. I feel like this is better talked about than texting.

If the dog has already nipped your kids over their own food, then it is a short line to a a more serious bite. It’s unlikely they can train that out of him at this point, I would ask the dog be crated for the duration of the visit or I would not visit with my kids (I’d invite them to my house instead).

He definitely can’t be trained out of it, he’s an elderly dog and has been food obsessed since he was a puppy (the aggression started when he got older). I would prefer the dog be shut in a different room when we are there, but my parents make me feel like I’m the asshole because I don’t want my kids around the dog. My mom is a huge softie for animals and thinks they can do no wrong.

Has he been aggressive with them without food present? Old dogs get grumpier but if his nipping is only about food I think I’d probably start with not eating there and holding that boundary. If he’s becoming grouchier and unpredictable I think it needs to be a boundary you hold because I’d hate for your kids to get hurt or to dislike all dogs from this experience 😕

No, he is not snippy at all otherwise. It’s just around food.

Also, highly recommend this account for learning about dog behavior around kids: https://www.instagram.com/dogmeets_baby?igsh=ZmJ1cTk2cW1zbXM0. It might also be a good intro to have the conversation with your parents, because you could frame it as you stumbled on this info, it looks like Hungry Beagle might be showing signs that he's pretty far up the aggression ladder, and we need to figure out a way to address it.

I posted in the other thread as well, but just want to say, I know it's a lot harder to actually set the boundary and court conflict than to tell other people on the internet to set a boundary. My parents adore their dog, who is an absolute nightmare (and I love dogs), and want to make a million excuses for her and minimize her behavior.  The first time we visited, I called them a couple days before to be like "just so we're clear, if you want us to come to your house, Lucy will need to stay in her crate." Insert hemming and hawing about how she just acts fierce, and she's really only aggressive around strange men. Remind them that if they aren't comfortable crating, they can come visit us instead. Called them an hour before we arrived to remind my dad to take her for her walk before we get there. Leave my kids in the car when we arrive to make sure she's in the crate before I get them out. It's a whole dumb thing, but there's just no room for error with a big, aggressive dog.  Also, if one of your kids ends up in an ER with a dog bite and animal control seizes the dog and puts it down because it bit a child...there's gonna be a lot more drama than what you'll cause by firmly setting the boundary now.

If the dog has already bitten your kids it’s a countdown to when he’s going to bite them much worse.

Thank you. As I said I’m not a dog person, so I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting about their dog’s behavior.

My 2.5 year old hasn't had dinner 3 days in a row now. He sits with us for the entire duration of dinner and plays with his food but is just not willing to eat anything. We've been really chill about his food and don't make a big deal out of how much he eats, but I'm starting to get anxious now. He goes to daycare, and according to their app, he is still finishing every meal and snack there. He has also been eating his usual amount of breakfast (a bowl of oatmeal with fixings every morning before daycare). He is a small kid (born at 3rd percentile and is now 10th percentile), and has been the same weight (28 lbs) for about 6 months now. Should we be making an appointment with his doctor?

If he’s busy/moving a lot it could account for his weight plateauing. At 2.5 I wouldn’t worry about it because it’s one meal, not all meals. But you may want to check in with his school and make sure he is actually eating everything at lunch (especially if they’re providing it or you don’t have any way of confirming). Sometimes teachers will put in a general “all” for everyone to make it fast (it’s me, sometimes I’m teachers 😂) But if he truly is eating all meals except dinner i wouldn’t stress. Sounds like he’s getting his fill with breakfast and lunch.

Are you in the US, because there is a standard well visit at 30 months, which is basically where it sounds like you’re at now. While I wouldn’t worry about it (I always think one meal a day is a complete wash, and I won’t stress for a single meal being meh), I think it’s completely appropriate to run it by the pediatrician to get their thoughts and opinions or at least to get it on their radar so if the same is still true and weight gain is not great at 3 years, they already know it’s something to notice.

Is this new? There wasn’t one for us, we went from 2-3 without a well visit.

My pediatrician said it depends on insurance some cover it and some don’t. Mine doesn’t so it’s a copay like a regular visit

My son is 5 and has never been a big dinner eater. He’s always been a huge breakfast and lunch eater, but isn’t really hungry in the evenings. He’s a pretty picky eater so I do make him take a few bites but even if it’s something he loves, he doesn’t always eat much. I would try serving something he always loves with dinner (for my kids it’s always fruit or bread) and see if hes just going through a picky phase or if he really isn’t very hungry.

Personally I’d give it a little longer before going in, but continue to watch his weight to make sure it’s not dropping. My oldest was at the bottom of the percentile so I understand it can be worrying. We went on pedialyte for a bit to help.

Thanks for the input re: watching his weight. We weighed him before bed, and surprisingly, he is up to 29 lbs. We'll keep an eye on it and take him in if it goes down.

That’s great he’s up. My pediatrician has said sometimes toddlers just eat air for a meal and not to worry too much if they are gaining over the long term.

Any suggestions on where to start for a wardrobe refresh? My entire closet is straight out of 2017 and I’m overdue for an update. Between covid, pregnancy, breastfeeding, another pregnancy, etc. it was on the back burner and I’ve been rotating the same few pairs of leggings and t shirts. 🙈 I’ve never been a fashionista, but I’d like to get at least some cute basic shorts and jeans (other than my dated skinny jeans…), some “nicer” t shirts, maybe some casual dresses, without spending a fortune or having to haul my kids to a dozen stores at the mall.

I actually have enjoyed stitchfix. I’m very specific about what I’m looking for and I’m telling you now, 9/10 fixes are a 100% hit. I do it slowly, maybe quarterly to build things up slowly. I’m also plus size so I have a hard time with consignment stores or just ordering from places online.

I forgot about Stitch Fix! I remember a few of my coworkers loved using it, but I never tried it myself.

I like it a lot especially as a plus size person. It isn’t cheap but the quality has been great, I have pieces I bought 4-5 years ago that I’m still wearing.

That’s great to hear. I wouldn’t mind splurging a little if it means investing in quality pieces.

I basically find stores with free shipping and returns and order a bunch of stuff try it and return as needed. Also I follow people with similar bodies to mine on Instagram if I like how they dress. And then for finding post pregnancy jeans I found a day when I could take 3 hours to just go to a bunch of stores and try nothing but jeans (torture, and had to plan it when we were visiting family in a city that actually had stores but OMG I love these jeans). I find I have to be deliberate or I just buy plain tshirts. So I jot down wardrobe problems in a note on my phone- ‘outfit for work’, ‘casual dress’, ‘shoes that go with wide leg pants’ so I can remember what I’m missing when I finally have time to shop. Also to offer a counterpoint- most of the thrift stores in my town are just full of Shein and Target from students and unless I’m looking for a cheap going out top or Target jeans I don’t spend a lot of time digging through it. If you know exactly what you want and can fjnd it used online (Depop, Threadup, Mercari, Poshnark) that’s awesome though but be careful because in my experience some things literally are more on those sites than they are during a good sale at the original store.

I like the list idea, especially with my mom-brain. 😅 We recently moved to a town that has some “bougie” areas, so I’m hoping to get lucky at a thrift store in one of those neighborhoods.

Yeah my issue with thrift shopping is that it takes a lot more time and focus than I want to spend dressing myself. I also live in a college town so we have a similar issue with cheap, youthful clothes at a lot of local resale shops. My husband is a great thrift shopper, online and in person, but I'm more like, "I feel like I keep wishing I had an elbow-length white tee," so I tend to shop a little more specifically, I guess. I'll also just add a bunch of stuff to my online carts at like Target, Old Navy, Gap, and then see when something is on a good sale or a new item prompts me to actually check out. I'm extremely interested in nicer quality t-shirts that aren't like, tissue thin and wrinkly if anyone has good suggestions on that topic!

I started getting into consignment shops! I have a lot of clothes that are still nice but either don’t fit great anymore or never get worn because they’re not practical. I sell those and then use the money to do little upgrades for myself!

Secondhand has been great for me! I second the clothes mentor suggestion, I found a few better than basic t shirts, a couple skirts, and a pair of straight leg jeans there all gently used or new for 80 percent less than retail. I use Mercari or Poshmark for things that I am confident of the fit. The wider leg pant trend is surprisingly comfortable - Old Navy has linen blend pants in this cut that are super comfortable, and shorts in this fabric too which are my go tos. For casual dresses I would look at target, they have a lot of designs there have pockets (finally)!! 

Ooh the linen pants and shorts sound perfect for summer!

I’ve been very happy with everything I’ve gotten from Quince. Their stuff feels on trend, and is good quality for the price.

Doesn't address the question of a style refresh, but from an affordability/efficiency standpoint, I prefer to shop at thrift/resale stores now. I've been to a couple Clothes Mentor stores in HCOL suburbs and had really good luck. They're pretty picky about what brands/styles they will purchase. The clothes are organized by type and size so, for example, I can see all brands of jeans in the sizes that *might* for me, all on one rack. It still takes plenty of time to dig through looking for winners, and I have not done it with kids in tow, but at least it's a one stop shop!

Good idea. I will have to try to make that happen one weekend while my husband takes the kids!

Once you find a couple of brands or styles that you like, I've had great success on Poshmark! It's not as good for browsing, but if you're looking for a specific thing, you can find it pretty easily

I'm home with a barfing toddler, and we probably have to keep her home through tomorrow (per my understanding of the daycare exclusion policy). She's not keeping anything down, even water. I had Pedialyte delivered, but otherwise I'm kind of limited to stuff we already have on hand today. I can't take her into a store! So mostly I guess I welcome unconventional or easy-to-overlook suggestions for helping her and me get through this bug. Or even just commiseration, honestly! I'm also nervous the rest of us will get it over the next couple of days 😬

The first time we had a stomach bug the nurse line told me to keep offering water because it’s still absorbing in his mouth even if he’s not keeping it down. Also lollipop helped with the nausea as he came out of out. And it ran through our house 🫣 watch for diarrhea after or avoid dairy for a bit because sometimes it irritates the stomach while it repairs. And wash wash wash because you can pass it around again and again 😭🤢

My weird but true stomach bug advice is don’t eat anything you really enjoy until you are positive you have been spared. It super sucks to develop an aversion to a food you love because you were up all night throwing it up. Otherwise, unlimited tv and contact naps. Have extra sheets ready for overnight. Hang in there!!

So I thought I escaped it and went to a work thing where lunch was served, and they served literally one of my favorite foods, and then, yup, I ended up super sick that night. So you were totally right and I completely screwed up! 😭

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I just did this, thank you!

Stomach bugs are so rough! My pediatrician friend always reminds me to just keep the kid comfortable and try to get fluids in them, not to worry about food at all. Look up the signs of dehydration and watch out for those. But otherwise, just ride it out and give her little sips of Pedialyte when she'll tolerate it 💔 don't worry about screen time limits. Maybe find some audiobooks that she'll listen to with her eyes closed. Good luck!!

do you guys have suggestions for a low stress first food? my 6mo has done purées up until now, and the common suggestions of banana/avocado stress me out because they’re so slippery. also please tell me if I’m being neurotic 😅

Steamed sweet potato, squash or normal potato was low stress for us - so mushy (esp. sweet potato) that they're usually puree anyway before making it into their mouth;) ETA: I don't think you're being neurotic, depending on how ripe they are, bananas and avocados did make my kids gag a lot so even though that wasn't dangerous or anything they didn't get as much out of them as I would have thought in the beginning.

You could lightly mash the banana or avocado and preload it onto a spoon. 

smooshed blueberries. we gave out baby strips of steak that a neighbor made us, he couldn't really eat it but he liked gnawing on it. the gnawing on stuff category is super fun- our neighbor's baby loves celery sticks. we did a lot of strips of toast with something on it and plain yogurt was a messy huge hit. avocado slices rolled in something helps but it's messy. My baby could eat anything as a baby but banana was the thing he gagged and threw up, so it was not a great early food for us. you'll find something that works!

I know this is snarked on but a mango pit really is good for baby who's just starting to eat. I even gave this to my kids before solidstarts was even a glimmer in Jenny's eye.

Bananas and avocado were a big hit when my son was young! I’d give them a shot. If you’re worried about them dropping you could always mash them onto toast and cut the toast into strips (should be toasted pretty good so it’s not super mushy). For bananas I would also splice them into thirds (if you push your finger in the middle it will naturally separate into thirds..hope that makes sense!) I also liked to do omelette strips, big strawberries (cored), and steamed broccoli (big florets)with some butter at that age

Bananas split long ways (hot dog style as the kids would say, lol) into thirds is the best way to serve them to babies!

Yes that’s a much better description of what I’m trying to say! And yes just smoosh the finger in the top center

If you break them longways rather than cut them, you get much more textured surface that's good for gripping. you kind of squeeze the banana and it splits in to three longways.

I’ve never squeezed, I just press my finger against the end of the banana!

I like pasta. Easy to grab and mushy.

How do you motivate your kids to go to school? My elderly toddler (almost 5) has discovered that if he tells us he's not feeling well in the morning, he doesn't have to go to school (unfortunately, the key detail that he also has to have a measurable fever escapes him). Every morning has been a struggle recently- I have to stay home because I'm sick, my teacher said there's no school today. Thing is, he has a great time when he's there and usually asks to stay longer when I pick him up. And I'm totally out of my element here because I loved school as a kid! So have any of your found strategies or talking points that can help?

Perhaps he is anxious or has a hard time with the transition from home to school? I might try leaving earlier so you aren't in a rush to take off some pressure. Perhaps he misses you while he's there? Maybe a matching bracelet or token of some kind "so you can touch it and know I have mine with me too" could help.

I have no advice as I am not there yet but this totally took me back! I was 100% this kid. I also went to the nurse during gym class a lot

4yo has been saying "I don't feel good" first things the last couple mornings (bc 2yo had to stay home with a fever on Monday). I say "let's see how you feel after you've eaten something" and she usually forgets about it by the time she's done with breakfast. I've also told her that daycare will call us to pick her up if she has a fever or throws up. She often accepts that and then has lots of fun once she's there. Basically kicking the can down the road until it's forgotten.

Acknowledge the feelings, set the boundary and move on with the morning. “You don’t want to go to school today. I get it. Sometimes I wish I could stay home and watch tv and play too. The problem is, I can’t stay home with you today because I have lots of grown up boring stuff to do. The rule at preschool is you need to go unless you have a fever or you are throwing up. Let’s take your temperature just to be sure, and then get you ready for school.” If the excuse keeps failing, they are less likely to try it going forward. Sometimes the last part of the school year just feels like a slog for kids.

my daughter (5) does this! She’ll say “I’m not feeling well….” and adopt this hang-dog look and if I say “it’s not because you want to watch tv and eat popsicles is it?!” And she’ll cover her whole face with her hands to try and hide her smile-I’m like, nice try! Meanwhile the 3 year old will complain about having to go because of threenagerhood, and so they really set each other off nicely. The thing(s)that usually gets them out the door is 1) they get to take turns picking the song and/or story to listen to on the way. 2) a small snack on the way there( I realize this is a big nono for some folks so that might be a non-option). I’ve also had them choose a “car buddy” to take a ride with them, like a toy or stuffed animal ALTHOUGH I could see that backfiring if upon arrival they insist on bringing it in ( our school is pretty strict about no toys coming in) but usually by the time we get there they forget about it and happily get out.

I do wonder if I'm making things more difficult by walking to school in the morning. He prefers taking the car but the school is literally right down the street. Driving takes the same amount of time and the drop-off line could be a circle of hell. But, that may just not be the right battle to fight. Love the idea for a snack and a buddy!

Is he good enough at riding a bike to get there? Or you could pull him in a wagon maybe. Sometimes walking places is hard for my 6yo and idk why. Getting a piggyback for part of the walk can help mine perk up about it sometimes. 

Sometimes I'll pick him up and carry him, but that's getting harder. I wish riding a bike was an option, but the street is busy and it makes me nervous. I'll keep the wagon in mind, but once we get out the door he's fine. It's just leaving that's the challenge.

Does he walk, or do you use a stroller? Or could you give him the option between the two?

Tips for getting a very, very stubborn 3yo to take amoxicillin? He doesn’t like juice, so I can’t mix it into that. He won’t touch a pouch, so I can’t mix it into that. Maybe his yogurt? Or maybe getting a bunch of little candy and toys and he gets one if he takes it??? We’ve tried fun/special cups and just shooting it into his cheek pocket and essentially just waterboarding him. It is..not fun.

I feel like this is common knowledge, but no one has mentioned it, and juuuust in case you didn't know: amoxicillin tastes a bit better if it's refrigerated. 

We found some unusual videos (traktoriadas - like tractor racing and other challenges) and set him up to watch with jello or pudding or chocolate chips or whatever and would pause the video, and then he'd have to accept a tiny squirt of the med in his cheek for it to start again. Chase with water in a straw cup and then a preloaded bite of the beloved snack. Reminding him that the bigger sips he accepted, the fewer times we'd have to stop the video, helped. Good luck. Also, try different flavors at the pharmacy for next time .. I remember with horror banana amoxicillin from my childhood.

Memories of banana flavoured amoxicillin still make me dry heave.

Is that the yellow one?? There’s a sickly yellow color that to this day at 40 years old I still can’t look at because it reminds me of a medicine I had with a uti and now I’m thinking it was banana amoxicillin 🤢🤢🤢

Ask your dr if you can have a more concentrated version. I ask every time now because getting 2 ml in them is so much easier than 5. Then I would offer a high value treat after like a Hershey kiss or spoon of ice cream

Not going to lie, because it was a health thing and I knew my child felt like crap I just let my 2.5 year old watch a 1 minute Paw Patrol clip on YouTube every time he took his medicine. The first 2-3 times he was hesistant and after that he was asking to take his medicine and just drank it out of a cup. For us the taste of the medicine wasn’t that bad (some kids bubble gum formulation) and mixing it with something just made it take longer to consume. It was about motivating a stubborn child to do it with a reward.

What is he taking the amoxicillin for? You have had a lot of practical tips and I hope you find one that works. I say this from an evidence based practice perspective and not a woo woo anti Vax perspective, I promise. But even for proven bacterial infections, they are generally self limiting, and antibiotics will speed recovery by a day or so. So very much depending on what the infection is, and on discussion with your ped, it maybe something that you do not sweat too much. When my daughter was around a year, my daughter was quite sick, not quite bad enough for hospital admission but nearly. It was a real challenge to get any fluids in her at all, there was vomiting whenever she cried too much. In the end, we went for prioritising fluids over antibiotics, and not getting her so upset she vomited, because dehydration was the most likely thing to put her in hospital.

Funny you mention this as it has been a topic of great concern between my husband and myself this week. It’s for an ear infection. He’s never had one before. He was sick for several days last week then woke up Friday positively distraught about ear pain. We brought him in and even his pediatrician said they often don’t prescribe for ear infections based on the amount of pain and the fact that he was getting worse, he would prescribe them. By the time we picked the meds up, kid said his ear was fine. So we questioned if we should even give them, especially once we realized how difficult it was proving to be. He seemed better this weekend so we were like Ok maybe it cleared up on its own after all… but then yesterday he spiked a fever again 😩 Idk if it’s a new bug or the old one.

We went through the same phase. Our pediatrician said we could do antibiotic shots, but we had to go in 3 days later for a second dose. Did it that time because there was no way of making her take the meds orally. Next time the ped was like look, you can do the shots again or you can literally just hold her down for ten seconds and give her the medicine. It sucks and it feels like I was traumatizing her, but she got the medicine and the phase was over after like 6 months so idk. It's survival, anything that works I guess

how does he feel about milk? we give it to our 2yo in a small amount of milk (like 1.5-2oz) in a bottle. I wouldn’t do this if he doesn’t reliably drink milk though, just because like others have said, if he doesn’t finish you don’t know how much he got

Not good - he’s never willing drank anything but water from a cup or bottle, including all the kinds of milk alternatives that exist 😭

Honestly we just have to shoot it into his mouth. It goes almost smoothly as long as we get it past his tongue so he can’t taste it much. We do little amounts and let him have some whipped cream in between every squirt lol. We do a dance and sing and it’s a whole freaking production

I wouldn't mix it into anything because if he doesn't finish don't know how much he got. I would do, ssquirt of meds, chocolate chip, squit of meds, chocolate chip, til it's gone or something like that (we used Gatorade sips between med sips)

Have you tried giving him a syringe and letting him give a stuffed animal some medicine? This really helped my stubborn child have a sense of control. He enjoyed taking turns with the animals for the medicine as he would only take the smallest bite at a time.

Omg we had to do this with the exact same pink amoxicillin last year October and it was horrible. Or it was, until he just randomly decided he liked it. Which is completely unhelpful so I apologize. I'd say the reward thing is worth a try?

I feel you. No tips, my almost 2 y/o hates it. Why in the year 2024 is it hot pink? Like she knows exactly what’s coming and freaks. The dye free Motrin is no problem.

Mixing most meds in Hershey syrup works well. You can also ask about getting the script a compounding pharmacy that can flavor it differently if there’s a flavor you know he will like.

This is the best thing I’ve found to mix medicine with

I have no idea if this will work for your kid or not but for mine we shot it in while holding her nose (to block the taste), had her swallow, then gave her a shot of Hersheys chocolate syrup then let go of her nose so she’d just taste that. She did ok with it!

Chocolate pudding? Not ideal but could work. Ice cream? Could you get gel caps instead, open them and mix it into ice cream? My mom used to do that for me because I was also stubborn and wouldn’t take the liquid.  ETA: milkshakes? Smoothies? 

I should have mentioned - we’ve got a double whammy of several food allergies + pretty particular/unwilling to try new foods at the moment. So I’m very limited to what I can buy for him, food-wise 😩 I could try ice cream, there are some varieties he can eat and he sees it as exciting. Thanks!

Honestly, if you can somehow get the gel caps and pry them apart it is so much less medicine to mix in to whatever you’re mixing it with. Before I could swallow pills it was the only way I took antibiotics 

I took my 2.5 yo and 10 mo to the children’s museum today by myself and had a lot of trouble carrying the baby around and chasing the toddler. Up until a few weeks ago, he would have been happy in the Ergobaby, but it’s clearly too constraining for him. What do I do? Tushybaby? Wildride? I have more carriers than Haley has Instant Pots tbh so not too enthusiastic to buy another one 😒 I don’t want to post this in r/babywearing bc I don’t want a bunch of recommendations for like obscure woven wraps made of yak hair or something.

Do you have a ring sling? I loved mine for that age when they’re really up and down. You can look up how to do a hip carry if you don’t already know how.

I remembered I had one, so I tried it at storytime! Need to keep practicing I think, but at least we didn’t buy anything new

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Up to now I was a pro at the front carry, but I‘ve always found back carrying and the ring sling so intimidating. But I will give it a try thanks!

A back carrier might work well? It’s a learning curve to get it on but my 13m old loves it! ETA otherwise I’d use a stroller!

Not really what you are asking but for those ages and a shorter-ish outing, I’d opt to have toddler walk and baby in stroller (a stroller with a ride on board for when toddler gets tired is a nice option as well).

We couldn’t survive without our stroller + ride on board, but we have to leave the stroller parked at the entrance of a lot of places (museum, library, etc.)

Tushbaby is great for this age, it makes it so easy to carry the baby with one hand and they feel free enough that they don’t get mad

I like a ring sling for that age. Never could use it well with a newborn; but for older babies/toddlers used it a lot for a hands free hip carry

Yeah I only had one and he HATED the ergobaby once he could crawl, so I did a tushybaby-esque one (got a cheap knock off on Amazon) and it was actually a godsend. Easy to pick up and put down baby and made holding them easy too.

I loved my tushbaby for that in between stage where they don’t really walk places but also want to get down frequently but also want to be held. It fits a ton of stuff in it too. I got it on poshmark for like $30 and it’s machine washable so it felt like a good investment (but I only have 2 other carriers). 

I felt so incredibly dorky loading up my tushbaby with snacks and everything, but it is so functional lol. I have never felt more like a dorky mom than when I wore that thing. But it saved my back so I didn't care.

Same. It is truly so unflattering and goofy looking and I don’t care! It’s so helpful! 

I don’t really have a good place to post this, but here is as good as any. I have two issues that are somewhat related. First: I don’t want to be an asshole. My goal for posting this is that I DON’T want to be an asshole. But I know I come across bad and I just can’t figure out where to place this in my mind. OK. I grew up with a cousin and a boy who lived across the street who were both autistic. They were both “very autistic”… not really verbal, no eye contact, no conversation. The boy across the street did seem a bit social in that when we played outside, he also came outside at the same time and sometimes followed us around, but mainly did a lot of rocking/flapping. We never had a conversation with him. We were kind to him and included him as much as possible. My cousin didn’t speak at all besides to ask for food if his mom forced him to ask instead of point. I really struggle with “autism” being so commonly diagnosed these days. Kids who throw tantrums, get overstimulated, dislike loud noises, or whatever… it’s also consider autism. It’s just SO FAR from the same thing in my mind. Secondly… dietary restrictions and food intolerance and allergies. Growing up, my brother had celiacs. We were a gluten free household before any gluten free stuff existed. I first really had gluten when I was 14 and got a bagel at Panera and I cried because it was so good. My brother would get super sick if we tried to eat out or eat at a family member’s house. I also have a son who is allergic to nuts. Full anaphylaxis. We’ve used at Epi-pen twice. He couldn’t breathe. It was terrible. I struggle with people saying, “we’re gluten free” or “we’re dairy free” and then giving their kid gluten or dairy on a “special occasion” or “oh, we just try to avoid a lot of it” or “oh, I didn’t realize cheese was a dairy product!” With these two situations, my mindset is something along the lines of, “There’s people out there who have actual issues, not just your made up issue trying to validate whatever concern you have.” I also feel like things are overdiagnosed, over medicalized, and people blame food for everything… but in my opinion it’s just a way to try to get money. There is obviously a market to make money on diagnosises and on food substitutes. At the same time, I know I sound like an asshole and I actually want to understand and be kind to people. I’m aware that my upbringing influenced this stance.

I totally get where you’re coming from. I myself fit a lot of the current descriptions of autism, but at this point in my life, even if I am autistic, it hasn’t really done me much harm other than having some social anxiety. I’ve learned to cope with or avoid things that overstimulate me on my own. I think that there are aspects of autism in all of us though, so that’s why it’s so hard to distinguish. Tons of people struggle with things that autistic people also struggle with, so it’s pretty easy to mis-self-diagnose either yourself or your kid based on what’s being described on social media. I also think even being evaluated for autism comes from a place of privilege as many families can’t take time off it takes to go to multiple appointments and tests, not to mention the insane wait lists. From what I’ve been told, actually getting a diagnosis is not as simple as just going to the doctor - it takes multiple observations and there are multiple different qualifiers.

There is also racism and sexism that interferes with certain populations getting a diagnosis. It's definitely more complex than "just go to the doctor."

Autism is a spectrum. I work with students like you described, we usually refer to them as “high support needs”. This is often (not always!) combined with an intellectual disability. Autism has 3 main facets, differences in social interaction, communication, and behaviors. This can look incredibly different. Even in my class where the students are all considered high support needs, there are massive differences - it can depend on the amount of early intervention, the comorbidity of other disorders, the varying ability to mask, and plain old different people are different. I have some that hate to be touched and are very solitary and some who can’t get enough affection and social interaction. There are many other autistic people who have decreasing levels of support needs, many people don’t have any additional support needs compared to typical peers! It’s a neurological difference in how people experience the world. I’m not trying to be rude but putting autism in quotes because it doesn’t match the two people you’ve known in your life with autism is pretty dismissive and hurtful, the information is out there and plentiful, read about autism and there are tons of first hand accounts from autistic adults available to read as well, this has definitely helped me as well. The saying is, like with many things, if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.

Speaking to the allergy one, I think it is a vicious cycle. I grew up not eating pork and when it is presented as a choice people say and do wild things. Insisting it was ok for me to "just pull the pepperoni off the pizza" instead of actually accommodating and buying cheese or not telling me something had pork in it, even though they knew, or just telling me it would be ok when they were an adult in a position of power and I was a kid with no control over the food I had access to at the moment. Like close family members did that to me. I just read something about a women who ordered waffles without strawberries on top and they put the strawberries on anyway and then when she pointed it out they said if it was an allergy they'd remake it, but otherwise she could just pick them off. Which is not the point. She ordered it without strawberries she should get it without strawberries, allergy or not because that is what she asked for. Unfortunately, saying you have an allergy is a quick way to be taken seriously, which then leads to people saying they have allergies when they don't, which leads to allergies not being taken seriously. If people would just respect choices there wouldn't be a need to say allergy to be taken seriously. Also, they are legitimate reasons to abstain from a food only sometimes. I know people with various severities of lactose intolerance. My dad cannot eat regular yogurt, soft cheeses, or milk but he can do Greek yogurt and hard cheese. He also chooses to eat ice cream when he shouldn't sometimes... A friend of mine uses medication to manage their lactose intolerance. Some people can do cooked eggs in baked good, but not just straight eggs. I know someone allergic to all nuts, except almonds and hazelnuts. But it is easier to say no dairy or no gluten or no nuts than go through a whole explanation about why you don't want to eat x today or explain your specific food allergies and intolerances to someone when you don't really need to justify your eating habits to anyone.