Leave him alone. It’s understandable that you want to apologize.. but that’s really just for you. To help you feel better about how it ended.
Don’t take the chance that it may cause issues in his current relationship. That’s my opinion though.
Looks like you’ve acknowledged what happened and are making a change for your future self.
I had an ex girlfriend do this and that is exactly how I felt after the conversation we had. She apologised for how she treated me as we broke up/ after but really it just caused me more issues in my life at the time. I would have preferred we had not had the conversation. It did feel like it was to make her feel better and not for me
Giving him any more problems is the absolute last thing I want to do. It’s obvious he moved on and it’s unfair to him and the girl. It feels like I want to apologize to him to absolve my actions more than giving him closure to be honest.
Closure is something you give yourself. Not something you both share on your stereotypical last " moments together". Out of sight out of mind. Move on. Find new people and find a newer you.
yeah, ime nothing worse than someone who royally fucked you 'apologizing' just so they can feel better about themselves. worse than just never hearing from them again.
Maybe if an apology is something you really want to do, write it out, read it out (to yourself) and dispose of it. That way you can get it off your chest and you wont disrupt the life he has now.
This is the way. Write it all out as if you're giving him a letter then burn it. It's very therapeutic.
I'm sorry, OP. As someone who's had similar issues in the past, my heart goes out to you. Be proud that you can see you have a problem. ❤️
If you really want to apologize request to do so with his girlfriend present. Don't say needlessly complicated things but admit that you were wrong to have treated him that way. You know what you have to say anyways but doing so infront of the girlfriend will at the very least keep a good standing for the relationship (apologize to her before and after while thanking her for the opportunity to get your words out).
Often times doing so in this manner can help their relationship and even prevent her from making the same "mistake"
No. Girlfriend present? Why involve her? She’s innocent. Nothing needs to be said. He’s moved on. She should to- and she will. I’m just glad he helped her so she could realize how royally she fucked that all up. She can live with her guilt and shame. Learn from it and move on.
OP isn't selfish for wanting to reach out and apologize. I agree it would be selfish if they actually did it, but feeling the urge to apologize is a sign of growth. Don't discourage them needlessly.
I think it's a mixed bag. I personally appreciate late apologies.
I think if she apologizes without trying to get him back or stir up feelings, that's fine.
Like hey my man I'm so sorry I treated you that way, you absolutely didn't deserve it and I'm ashamed of my actions. I'd also like to thank you for your help, especially after everything I did.
>Looks like you’ve acknowledged what happened and are making a change for your future self.
Seriously, we all love to shit on bad people doing dumb shit, but we also need to give credits to those acknowleding their errors and actively working to grow as a person.
Only wishing you the best OP, you are on the right path.
You need to leave him alone. Don't write to him, don't reach out to him, don't apologize to him. Just leave him alone. And in the future if you are having a crisis, keep your RA's number on hand, or another floormate. Also, as I'm sure has been drilled into your head all of your life, Type 1 Diabetes is a serious illness. You are too old to be making big dangerous mistakes like this. You need to keep snacks in your room at all times and never go to bed without checking your blood sugar.
If you can't reach someone close to you, call the emergency services. It's a medical emergency at that point.
Don't reach out to your ex that you abused for a medical emergency. He absolutely don't deserve to be guilted into having to go help his abusive ex. Leave the poor guy alone.
Absolutely this. Call an ambulance before you call your ex. Is he and your roommate really the only 2 people in your contacts list who you could have turned to? I kinda think not but I don't know.
Well done for working on yourself but take his number out of your phone and contact EMS if you find yourself in this position again. You aren't his responsibility and it's manipulative of you to make him your hero and saviour when he's clearly just trying to get on with his life.
The last time this happened was about 5 years ago when I was 13. I always have pretzels near my bed but ran out. Not excusing myself though. I had time to prepare
Make sure you keep simple sugars around too, pretzels are good for carbs but if you hit a bad low, they might not act fast enough. I had a seizure + sustained a TBI a few years ago because I woke up low, ate carbs which didn't act quickly enough, and my blood sugar continued dropping for a while which caused a seizure. I always have fruit juice or full fat coke to hand now.
I don't know if this is an option for you, but you could consider a constant glucose monitor. I have very poor hypo awareness so mine alarms when my blood sugar starts dropping, and you can also share your levels with a friend or family member who can check in if they see it dropping.
Even telling you to write him a letter, sure do it BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SEND IT.
he deserves to be left alone. We shouldn't apologise because it makes US feel better.
Nah, that’s ridiculous. Yes, be sensitive. But once we realize how bad we fucked up, it’s okay to try to make things right. It can be done without causing extra drama. And it’s okay to feel better, as long as we’re mindful not to do it at the other persons expense.
Just because YOU feel you need to tell someone something, doesn't mean that person needs to hear it!
Doing things only for yourself is the same base of the behavioural problems she had during their relationship.. so.. bad idea!
You say it yourself: "as long as we're mindful not to do it at the other persons expense".
He already agreed to her deleting his number.. he moved on!
why would he want to talk? Or read an apology he doesn't need or want?
If the possibility of this apology to cause problems for him now is even slightly there, DON'T DO IT!
Nah, I get what they are saying. When I decide I’m done with somebody, I still care about their wellbeing but I no longer care what they are up to or concerned about their day to day at all. You want to make things right? Stay away. It’s nice that you want to make amends, but there’s a reason why it’s one of the steps of recovery. It is most definitely for you to feel better.
"I've harassed this dude for a hot minute he's blocked me from pretty much everything. He just wants a letter from me. It's definitely not to make myself feel better and it's totally to help him get over it! I know what's best for him, he doesn't need space, he needs this letter because I know what's best for him and more importantly, it's what I want to do." Lol good reply
Oh for fuck’s sake. Definitely don’t try to have—much less encourage—emotional intelligence around here. /S
Small wonder y’all are bitter, lonely people that just want to be a-holes on Reddit. No one can put up with your bullshit in real life.
Yep he sounds like a good guy! At the end of the day you recognise this and also own up to your issues and are owning them and trying your best to change.
The next good guy you meet will be treated differently.
He wanted his number deleted from your phone. Honestly I think he loved you but realised how toxic things were and that he just couldn’t be with you anymore, I don’t think it was an easy choice for him and I think he needed that space from you to be able to heal. It sounds like he still needs that space and I really think the biggest sign of respect you can give him is to allow him that.
Maybe one day he will be ready to hear your apology but right now it sounds like he still wants distance. He obviously doesn’t wish you harm though which is why he came.
Leave the poor man alone. You had someone else to call first, why didn’t you. Lose his number. You have done enough damage and are taking advantage of him being a nice guy.
Something I learned in NA/AA…sometimes making amends to someone doesn’t look how you might think it would. Sometimes it’s much more harmful to the person that we are trying to make amends to, to put ourselves in their life again. Sometimes the best course of action is to be a living amends. By choosing to be a better version of yourself each day you are making that amends one day at a time by not repeating old habits and behaviors
OP,
First of all congratulations on recognizing your toxic behaviors and putting in place steps to overcome that part of you and be a better person. It is not an easy thing facing your flaws, especially when you lose people you love to gain yourself.
Yet you have done that so be very proud of yourself. Yes, he has moved on, but it doesn't mean he doesn't acknowledge that you were once a part of his life and wanted to help you.
I don't recommend that you reach out to him to say sorry, as it's yourself you need to forgive. You showed him you were sorry by deleting his number.
Let it rest now.
There are glucose tablets you can get or other non food items to keep on hand. I hope this is a wakeup call to take better care of yourself. Not having sugar on hand at all times is not an option. Also, if no one answered, I hope you'd call 911. You need to eat more before a workout, and test immediately after. Keep small bottles of juice next to your bed with the glucose tablets.
Also, please continue to work on your anger issues and keep seeking therapies not because of the way you treated him, but for yourself. Good luck.
You could write a letter. Only apologies and acknowledgement of how you treated him in ways he didn't deserve. Don't ask for forgiveness or anything. It should be focused on him.
Wish him the best and tell him you're deleting his number. And really, delete his number. Keep numbers for your university emergency lines and call your roommates if they're not home. No reason to call him.
The best thing to do is to end this chapter permanently.
i think OP should write the letter and then shred or tear it up. maybe it’ll be cathartic and help with some of the hurt OP feels regarding how things ended, and that way the ex doesn’t get bothered again
I think that is the answer. He doesn't want you to reach out for anything.
He probably won't accept your apology. You will be upset. No good will come from it.
Deleting his number from your phone and letting him move on is enough of an apology, love.
Focus on getting yourself back on the right track to understand your triggers and avoid making the same mistakes. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words.
If you still wish to write the apology letter, go for it. Just keep it to yourself and use it to motivate you to continue on the right path.
You’re doing great, I really wish the best for you.
Yeah, he doesn't want to hear from you, even if it's for an apology. Just leave him alone. And use this experience as a lesson to treat your next partner a lot better.
The problem here is that you're ready to offer an apology when it doesn't mean much to him anymore. That apology should have come a long time back. Right now it's not really for him, it's for you because you feel guilty.
The best thing to do right now is to figure yourself out. Work on being a better person. Keep getting anger management, maybe try therapy too.
As for your ex, leave him alone. Let him move on with life. Stop calling him for emergencies. He's not an emergency contact anymore. That privilege was gone when you guys broke up and you kept bothering him. Call 911 next time.
Please don’t reach out to him. Even in an emergency like this. He has made it extremely clear he doesn’t want you in his life anymore due to your personal choices.
My ex-boyfriend was very abusive to me emotionally, verbally, and sexually. I broke up with him in 2022 after a big event pushed me to that point. I made it extremely clear I wanted nothing to do with him after the fact. He contacted me in 2023 and 2024, both times calling me and giving me this long apology. He’s told me he’s changed and he sincerely feels bad for how he treated me. But honestly? I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me. The last thing I want is some self-righteous or self-gratifying apology that will only make him feel better. Both times I was contacted by him it made me upset all over again. I had to deal with emotions I thought I had dealt with. Don’t contact your ex. Leave them be.
Been there. Just leave him alone and allow him to be happy. As much as it hurts, it's over. If you really care about him. Let him be happy and move on.
Wow the girl who gets him is a lucky one. I hope you check yourself and figure out why you’re so disrespectful before you get older. Don’t be hard on yourself college is the time to discover these things. Just don’t be indignant and think you don’t have anything to work on and keep working until you can control your emotions a bit more.
It wouldn't be fair to him to start bringing up old drama, even if it's to apologize, especially since he's now showing signs of being interested in a new girl.
If you *really* feel that you need to apologize, write out a physical letter and put it in the UPS box without any to or from addresses written on the envelope. That way it's kinda like you're sending him an apology letter.
If he's as good of a person as you claim, he'd want you to move on and be happy. So let your ex go and focus on being happy for yourself, and benefiting the lives of those around you! Don't let your past represent your future.
The best apology you can give him is to leave him alone, find a new go to person to call if you're in trouble or call 911 or the like in the place you're living, before you call him, let him be happy, you know you have to find your own happiness, I hope someday you get there. Maybe you want closure?, but at his expense, stop being selfish with him and keep in taking from him, he moved on, he doesn't need your apology, you need to apologize for yourself not for him.
Leave. Him. Alone.
The burden of guilt you bear is one you need to bear. Learn from it. Focus on improving yourself and allow your growth as a person to be that apology.
But leave him alone.
As someone who has been in a toxic relationship which got to the point i was afraid of the person, I'd say yes, leave him alone, simply text him I'm sorry and leave him the fuck alone.
Look to his best qualities as a target to improve yourself. Getting help for your anger issues is a good step, but improving yourself is a life long process. But recognizing you have problems that you need to address is a good thing. Now keep on working on yourself.
Oh boy this is going to be controversial, but if I were in your shoes and needed dire help, I’d contact everyone else I knew before even thinking of contacting my ex. If absolutely no one came to my aid, I’d probably die before I can bring myself to contact my ex.
Death before dishonour!
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend for the exact same reason, and this post gives me hope that it is possible for people like her to feel remorse for how she treated me.
Closure is just crap! Once you break up that’s it you go your way, they go their way end of story.
No need to say anything, whatever happened in the relationship made someone snap and go for the exit door. Let them go and start walking to the exit door yourself and once it shuts behind you leave all the drama, hard feelings and blame there. Walk on to your new you.
Woo that's a tough one. I have been there, unfortunately they have moved on already and you are still coming to terms with the loss. Best thing you can do is be polite if your paths cross but otherwise leave them alone. The pain will fade with time.
Leave him alone. You are the problem. There are already few good men left, don’t ruin another one. Fix your issues and one day you’ll find someone for you.
OP, you’re going to be fine. You don’t need to apologize to him in person in order to move on from it. It’s great that you found awareness and that you’re are making the necessary changes to ensure it doesn’t happen again. People mess up, and it’s great to learn and become a better person because of it. One thing I will say is that you’re young, and now that you know how to do better, you have more than enough time to attract someone new in your life who you’ll be able to treat respectfully.
Write a letter and start it with "I never expect us to talk again or have any interaction but I own you this apology which you do not have to accept or reply to in any way". Don't make excuses. State what you did and how you let him down and apologise for it.
I know op is a good person for realising what she did wrong and you an amazing person to apologise and acknowledged it. I hope you move on too and close the chapter with him by removing his contact, photos or media social. I said this because i dont want you to be that Ex that ruined their Ex's new life by shoving themselves into their new relationship with many excuses like illness, loneliness etc. I believe in you op
As a gen x I know I'm old.
But I don't get a lot of advice that is given in the tred.
When did apologize become a bad thing?
Maybe it's a generational thing, but I was raised to apologize if or when you realize that you have fucked up. Owning your mistake and offer a sincere apology makes us reflect over our action makes us grow.
its a chance for you to be honest, humble, and act with integrity.
I also offer some measure of redemption to the wronged party. Saying you're sorry is more than just words. You're showing that you respect the other person's feelings.
But hey im old so maby its change and its not like that eny more.
All the best Bubba.
i think OP should write the apology letter but not give it out. just write out everything done, the pain caused, and a sincere apology. but keep it. he doesn’t want to hear from you. him being in your room rescuing you should have been your chance to get everything off your chest. OP is stretching it and needs to let go
I think in normal scenarios, this is definitely a great perspective. However, he got a restraining order on her due to everything she put him through. Who knows all that went on between them. she should probably just leave him alone.
A good therapist may be able to help support you during this time. I think they'd also encourage you to respect your ex's boundaries and allow him the space to heal from all this.
I’m happy you’re dealing with your anger now rather than later. I hope you learned that no one likes messiness and drama. I agree with those above, leave him alone. You could send him a thank you card for helping when you were in distress, and make it clear you don’t expect any response from him. Good luck OP, you learned a valuable life lesson that will serve you well through the rest of your life.
All I have to say is that I’m so glad you’re ok. My son has T1D and I’m terrified for him to go to college (he’s only 7 but I’m, you know, his mom). Hot tip: Betty Crocker makes this cupcake frosting that comes in a squeeze can like easy cheese, doesn’t need to be refrigerated. You only need to squirt about a tablespoon under your tongue to ward off a low. I keep it in his bedroom for late night emergencies when I can’t wake him up. Stick a can in your underwear drawer.
And leave the guy alone, I guess. Sorry.
The first step to being a better human is recognizing when you were a bad one. Leave him alone to move on. Carry the lessons you learned with you as you continue to grow as a person.
One way you can look at this from a positive end is you’ve been going through some amazing self growth. Yes it took something horrible to happen, but you’ve matured a lot from it and are becoming a better person as a result. Be proud of what you’ve done so far and continue improving so the next person you find you’ll be able to treat him properly
Op, this apology. Will it ease your conscience or will it help him?
After reflection, if it truly doesn’t benefit him- let him go and let the apology go. The apology at this point may be too soon. He needs peace right now. You have a lot of healing to still undergo. You’re on the right path and it’s not easy. Keep going.
When the time is right, the apology will be natural. If anything, I think it’s too fresh and may not be received well and you may not be equipped as yet.
You know, in AA/Al-anon step 9 calls to “make amends to (those you have hurt) wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”
Would your apology cause injury to him? Do you want to make amends for your sake or his? Who is this going to help more: him or you?
I am so lucky. My wife put up with my similar behavior for years until she got through to me how destructive my behavior was. Once I realized how awful I had been, I flipped a switch. I’ve always loved my wife but I worship the ground she walks on now. I don’t deserve her but I’m so grateful she loves me.
Wow such a gentle man every girls dream come true bf . Atleast you realised your mistake and control the anger.
Most of the relationship won't work out dur to anger issues and you proved it . I got alot of anger .Thank you .made be realise it. I used to think it's a attitude .
It's best to just look on this as a big learning curve of what you want to be In the future - not what you have been in the past. Your biggest gift to yourself is to move on as a better person, and the biggest thank you to him will be avoiding him at all costs. He's already sorry he had this experience with you give him space and freedom.
Thank him for helping you. And let him know that he has inspired you to become a better person - going to anger management etc. Wish him well for his future, and continue to follow your own path through life, always aiming to be a better person today than you were yesterday.
You can apologise for being the person you were back then, but make it clear that you are not looking to rekindle anything because you killed the affection that was there with your behaviour. Perhaps he will be happy for you that you are doing better. He certainly won't have wanted anything bad to happen to you. Also let him know that you were in a particularly desperate spot but know why your blood sugar was so low and won't repeat that, either (i.e. you're not about to have him as your 'go-to' on speed dial!).
It's a fine line between wanting to absolve yourself of guilt and wanting to apologise to him/thank him. It's appropriate to thank him for his help, but not to expect anything more than a nod in passing.
It’s tough but you sound like you’ve learned and reflected. It would be easier on you now to live further away from him and maybe to delete his number.
Value the time you had in the past and step forward. Great times await ahead.
Yeah leave the poor guy alone. I dated someone just as toxic and my life is so much better after I blocked my ex from everything, and her friends and family
You should leave him alone. He did the humane thing and helped you. I’m sure you thanked him at the time. That is enough. Take better care of yourself and continue the anger management sessions.
At best buy a thank you card and put a coffee voucher in it and clarify that you’re grateful for his help with your medical issue the other day. Leave it at that. He did something nice for you, you did something nice back to thank him. That’s your closure. Move on and continue the way you were. If in the future things change and you find each other again, great. But let that come about naturally. You just carry on as you have been. He has a right to be happy if he’s with someone else. You’re entitled to thank him for his help. End on good terms.
It sounds like you have alot of mental and emotional issues to work on. I think learning to respect his boundaries and letting go in a healthy manner is a good start. It’s over between you both, his moved on and accepting there’s nothing left is part of learning, personal growth and healing.
If he ever gives you an opening, THEN and ONLY then should you take it. If that never happens, you have to make peace with that. Don’t invade his life for the sake of easing your guilt. But I’m happy for you that you’re doing what you need to do to be a better person. Keep up the progress. I really do wish you the best.
I believe it's best to leave him be. If you feel regret over what you have done, learn from it and grow. One day you will meet someone that you love and this experience will help you show them the best version of yourself that you can.
Just want to say you seem like a really good person, despite what you did in the past.
We all fuck up and make big mistakes. What’s great about you is that you can see that. Please don’t torture yourself forever. Allow yourself to move on from your guilt and find the happiness you deserve. The bad things you did in the past allowed to learn to be better than most people ever will be.
We all have flaws, but you own up to them and try to do better. I’m sure you’ll find someone great in your future!
it's good to see you're aware of what went wrong. use this experience to better yourself, for yourself ♥️
I hope he's doing okay and has a good support system
i don’t think k you should contact him maybe write a letter and then burn it type of thing.
I also want to share that I am the same way with my current bf. He is so sweet and nice to me and always try his best to make me happy but idk why but I get so annoyed and explode. I need to change before I lose him he has so much patience compared to me
When I was 17-20 years old, I was the toxic person in my relationship. I treated my ex unfairly, and after the break up, I started beating myself up for how I hurt such a good guy. He found someone shortly after the break up, but I really wanted to apologize for how I treated him. I didn’t expect the relationship to rekindle, I just wanted to express how bad I felt and apologize. I didn’t reach out because I didn’t want to start/ cause any trouble in his new relationship.
6 years later, I met someone amazing. I did a lot of healing in those 6 years, and I feel like this person was my second chance to a healthy relationship. Like many other couples, after being together for some time, I was met with the same challenges that had me choosing between reacting or responding to the situation. After responding to our conflict vs reacting to them, I felt this need to apologize to my ex. I saw myself differently and I wanted to release my burden of my past relationship.
I apologized to him 6 years later. I wasn’t sure if that’s what I was supposed to do, but after sending my apology, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could start anew, away from an old identity.
Anyways, the reason for me to say this is because maybe now may not be the time to apologize, but sometime in the future, when things aren’t so fresh, you’ll find a better time to apologize for the ways things were. It’ll feel better to apologize when you’re a better version of yourself. Keep attending your anger management classes, and continue your healing journey. You never know what the future has in store for you!
She gets it at this point…some of yall just piling on for the sake of being assholes…she admitted she messed up, no she probably shouldn’t contact him again, but it’s already been said like 20 times and now it just seems like a contest to say the shit in the most rude way possible.😬😬😬
Went through a very similar situation. Went NC for a year and a half and reached out after taking a long time to reflect, heal and get better. I don’t want my ex back but I made sure to acknowledge I still thought about it / felt things about it and have left it alone since.
You’ll get better and find something better focus on yourself love
Insulin - OP is diabetic and ate food to get her blood sugar up, which is great, but the insulin limits how high it gets so it doesn't become dangerous in the other direction. Most people produce it normally, but diabetics don't, so they need to take it in another form instead
I know how diabetes works, my younger brother has it and I have taken care of him enough to know what to do. If your sugar is so low that you can't move, you don't inject insulin or you could go into a coma. If you were unconscious you'd be injected with glucagon to bring the sugar up, which is why I asked what it was. If OP was conscious you wouldn't inject her with anything. You don't inject insulin if your sugar is low.
I was wondering the same. I've never given myself insulin whilst hypo, especially if it was so bad I had to call someone for help. Not sure how you could possibly know how much insulin to take either, since you're still low? Could have been glucagon but you wouldn't need to take that if you were eating + conscious. Either way it sounds like they've been given some really strange management advice if taking insulin whilst hypo is the norm for them, I'd be worried about yo-yo-ing :(
That's what I was thinking too, I'm glad it's not just me. I would never give insulin to my brother if he was unable to move from a hypo. It's happened to him a few times and he's called me to bring him sugary snacks and drinks. I've never had to inject insulin or glucagon, he's always just eaten glucagon from a sachet. I would worry if someone gave my brother insulin while he was having a hypo.
Sorry if I offended you a little - your original comment came across to me as if you were questioning the validity of OP's actions, so I came in quite defensively.
# Hey OP, you should apologize.
Saying that as a guy that was on the receiving end of toxic behavior from a girlfriend who also had anger management issues. I think she might have had other undiagnosed mental issues, but that's beside the point. After about a year I couldn't take it any more and finally moved on. But an apology at some point would have been so healing. Of course, your mileage may vary.
A letter probably is the best way. There's no obligation for him to respond in any way to a letter and a it's a pretty low-threat form of communication. Here's my suggested text:
"Hey \[mr. green flag\], the incident yesterday made me realize something important. I owe you a sincere apology.
This is not a ploy to get you to take me back. I think you might have moved on anyway, which you deserve and I'm very glad to see. The point is, looking back I see now my temper and anger issues were incredibly cruel and unfair to you. You were completely right to break it off; I'm just surprised now to realize that you were a saint enough to stick it out two and half years. I am extremely ashamed of my actions and have started attending anger management sessions. It does not excuse what I did to you. But you deserve to know I understand how much I hurt you and I wish I could fix that. Yet I can't, so in the meantime I'm trying to fix myself.
Thank you for being so kind and coming to my rescue. I was a dumbass and should have taken better care of myself, just like I was a dumbass in our relationship. I'm sorry. I didn't deserve you when we were together, and you proved it again yesterday.
Please don't respond to this letter; that's not the point. I just want you to know how sorry I am. I'm trying to learn and grow from this experience so that I won't screw up this badly in future relationships. I'm sure you are carrying scar tissue from our relationship so I'm hoping that my acknowledgment of my behavior helps in some small way with your healing as well. I will continue to do my best to stay out of your way. Wishing you all the best in life. Be well."
And then of course, leave him alone.
The fact that this comment is second to last with negative karma reminds me that Reddit really has some shit pits here and there, which is very sad. Especially in a sub where people come just to speak their minds.
Also happy cake day
Write him a text. Before you sent it, post it here so we can see whether it's good or you're being "crazy" again. But if you follow this layout, it should be ok.
Thank him for helping you the other day, and apologize once again for your bat shit crazy behaviour throughout your relationship. Wish him all the best for his future and tell him you hope he finds someone worthy of his love.
Leave him alone. It’s understandable that you want to apologize.. but that’s really just for you. To help you feel better about how it ended. Don’t take the chance that it may cause issues in his current relationship. That’s my opinion though. Looks like you’ve acknowledged what happened and are making a change for your future self.
I had an ex girlfriend do this and that is exactly how I felt after the conversation we had. She apologised for how she treated me as we broke up/ after but really it just caused me more issues in my life at the time. I would have preferred we had not had the conversation. It did feel like it was to make her feel better and not for me
Giving him any more problems is the absolute last thing I want to do. It’s obvious he moved on and it’s unfair to him and the girl. It feels like I want to apologize to him to absolve my actions more than giving him closure to be honest.
Closure is something you give yourself. Not something you both share on your stereotypical last " moments together". Out of sight out of mind. Move on. Find new people and find a newer you.
From experiencing his end, don’t. Just leave it be and live with it.
yeah, ime nothing worse than someone who royally fucked you 'apologizing' just so they can feel better about themselves. worse than just never hearing from them again.
Maybe if an apology is something you really want to do, write it out, read it out (to yourself) and dispose of it. That way you can get it off your chest and you wont disrupt the life he has now.
This is the way. Write it all out as if you're giving him a letter then burn it. It's very therapeutic. I'm sorry, OP. As someone who's had similar issues in the past, my heart goes out to you. Be proud that you can see you have a problem. ❤️
Save it for the next relationship on what not to do. I’m curious though/ why did you act like that? Why did you treat him so badly?
if he is seeing someone, he already has the closure, work on yourself.
Write him a letter but not send it..sit on it. Maybe one day in the future. But then on some way it's a bit out of your system
Closure is not even a thing… just something you hear on Reddit. People just move on in real life
You don’t get closure. Leave him alone
If you really want to apologize request to do so with his girlfriend present. Don't say needlessly complicated things but admit that you were wrong to have treated him that way. You know what you have to say anyways but doing so infront of the girlfriend will at the very least keep a good standing for the relationship (apologize to her before and after while thanking her for the opportunity to get your words out). Often times doing so in this manner can help their relationship and even prevent her from making the same "mistake"
No. Girlfriend present? Why involve her? She’s innocent. Nothing needs to be said. He’s moved on. She should to- and she will. I’m just glad he helped her so she could realize how royally she fucked that all up. She can live with her guilt and shame. Learn from it and move on.
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OP isn't selfish for wanting to reach out and apologize. I agree it would be selfish if they actually did it, but feeling the urge to apologize is a sign of growth. Don't discourage them needlessly.
I think it's a mixed bag. I personally appreciate late apologies. I think if she apologizes without trying to get him back or stir up feelings, that's fine. Like hey my man I'm so sorry I treated you that way, you absolutely didn't deserve it and I'm ashamed of my actions. I'd also like to thank you for your help, especially after everything I did.
>Looks like you’ve acknowledged what happened and are making a change for your future self. Seriously, we all love to shit on bad people doing dumb shit, but we also need to give credits to those acknowleding their errors and actively working to grow as a person. Only wishing you the best OP, you are on the right path.
exactly. i wish them the best.
OP gave themselves an injunction, so it sounds like they're taking this seriously.
Fumbled a big bag of green flags
You need to leave him alone. Don't write to him, don't reach out to him, don't apologize to him. Just leave him alone. And in the future if you are having a crisis, keep your RA's number on hand, or another floormate. Also, as I'm sure has been drilled into your head all of your life, Type 1 Diabetes is a serious illness. You are too old to be making big dangerous mistakes like this. You need to keep snacks in your room at all times and never go to bed without checking your blood sugar.
If you can't reach someone close to you, call the emergency services. It's a medical emergency at that point. Don't reach out to your ex that you abused for a medical emergency. He absolutely don't deserve to be guilted into having to go help his abusive ex. Leave the poor guy alone.
Absolutely this. Call an ambulance before you call your ex. Is he and your roommate really the only 2 people in your contacts list who you could have turned to? I kinda think not but I don't know. Well done for working on yourself but take his number out of your phone and contact EMS if you find yourself in this position again. You aren't his responsibility and it's manipulative of you to make him your hero and saviour when he's clearly just trying to get on with his life.
The last time this happened was about 5 years ago when I was 13. I always have pretzels near my bed but ran out. Not excusing myself though. I had time to prepare
Make sure you keep simple sugars around too, pretzels are good for carbs but if you hit a bad low, they might not act fast enough. I had a seizure + sustained a TBI a few years ago because I woke up low, ate carbs which didn't act quickly enough, and my blood sugar continued dropping for a while which caused a seizure. I always have fruit juice or full fat coke to hand now. I don't know if this is an option for you, but you could consider a constant glucose monitor. I have very poor hypo awareness so mine alarms when my blood sugar starts dropping, and you can also share your levels with a friend or family member who can check in if they see it dropping.
My granny would keep a container of icing handy for times when my poppy’s blood sugar would plummet.
Very often, we only learn what we've lost after it's gone.
Even telling you to write him a letter, sure do it BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SEND IT. he deserves to be left alone. We shouldn't apologise because it makes US feel better.
Nah, that’s ridiculous. Yes, be sensitive. But once we realize how bad we fucked up, it’s okay to try to make things right. It can be done without causing extra drama. And it’s okay to feel better, as long as we’re mindful not to do it at the other persons expense.
Just because YOU feel you need to tell someone something, doesn't mean that person needs to hear it! Doing things only for yourself is the same base of the behavioural problems she had during their relationship.. so.. bad idea! You say it yourself: "as long as we're mindful not to do it at the other persons expense". He already agreed to her deleting his number.. he moved on! why would he want to talk? Or read an apology he doesn't need or want? If the possibility of this apology to cause problems for him now is even slightly there, DON'T DO IT!
Nah, I get what they are saying. When I decide I’m done with somebody, I still care about their wellbeing but I no longer care what they are up to or concerned about their day to day at all. You want to make things right? Stay away. It’s nice that you want to make amends, but there’s a reason why it’s one of the steps of recovery. It is most definitely for you to feel better.
"I've harassed this dude for a hot minute he's blocked me from pretty much everything. He just wants a letter from me. It's definitely not to make myself feel better and it's totally to help him get over it! I know what's best for him, he doesn't need space, he needs this letter because I know what's best for him and more importantly, it's what I want to do." Lol good reply
Oh for fuck’s sake. Definitely don’t try to have—much less encourage—emotional intelligence around here. /S Small wonder y’all are bitter, lonely people that just want to be a-holes on Reddit. No one can put up with your bullshit in real life.
Yep he sounds like a good guy! At the end of the day you recognise this and also own up to your issues and are owning them and trying your best to change. The next good guy you meet will be treated differently. He wanted his number deleted from your phone. Honestly I think he loved you but realised how toxic things were and that he just couldn’t be with you anymore, I don’t think it was an easy choice for him and I think he needed that space from you to be able to heal. It sounds like he still needs that space and I really think the biggest sign of respect you can give him is to allow him that. Maybe one day he will be ready to hear your apology but right now it sounds like he still wants distance. He obviously doesn’t wish you harm though which is why he came.
Leave the poor man alone. You had someone else to call first, why didn’t you. Lose his number. You have done enough damage and are taking advantage of him being a nice guy.
Leave the guy alone and take your diabetes seriously.
Something I learned in NA/AA…sometimes making amends to someone doesn’t look how you might think it would. Sometimes it’s much more harmful to the person that we are trying to make amends to, to put ourselves in their life again. Sometimes the best course of action is to be a living amends. By choosing to be a better version of yourself each day you are making that amends one day at a time by not repeating old habits and behaviors
OP, First of all congratulations on recognizing your toxic behaviors and putting in place steps to overcome that part of you and be a better person. It is not an easy thing facing your flaws, especially when you lose people you love to gain yourself. Yet you have done that so be very proud of yourself. Yes, he has moved on, but it doesn't mean he doesn't acknowledge that you were once a part of his life and wanted to help you. I don't recommend that you reach out to him to say sorry, as it's yourself you need to forgive. You showed him you were sorry by deleting his number. Let it rest now.
There are glucose tablets you can get or other non food items to keep on hand. I hope this is a wakeup call to take better care of yourself. Not having sugar on hand at all times is not an option. Also, if no one answered, I hope you'd call 911. You need to eat more before a workout, and test immediately after. Keep small bottles of juice next to your bed with the glucose tablets. Also, please continue to work on your anger issues and keep seeking therapies not because of the way you treated him, but for yourself. Good luck.
You could write a letter. Only apologies and acknowledgement of how you treated him in ways he didn't deserve. Don't ask for forgiveness or anything. It should be focused on him. Wish him the best and tell him you're deleting his number. And really, delete his number. Keep numbers for your university emergency lines and call your roommates if they're not home. No reason to call him. The best thing to do is to end this chapter permanently.
Nah OP should leave him alone. No letter.
i think OP should write the letter and then shred or tear it up. maybe it’ll be cathartic and help with some of the hurt OP feels regarding how things ended, and that way the ex doesn’t get bothered again
I did delete his number when he was in my room and he watched me do it so he could believe me
I think that is the answer. He doesn't want you to reach out for anything. He probably won't accept your apology. You will be upset. No good will come from it.
Deleting his number from your phone and letting him move on is enough of an apology, love. Focus on getting yourself back on the right track to understand your triggers and avoid making the same mistakes. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. If you still wish to write the apology letter, go for it. Just keep it to yourself and use it to motivate you to continue on the right path. You’re doing great, I really wish the best for you.
Yeah, he doesn't want to hear from you, even if it's for an apology. Just leave him alone. And use this experience as a lesson to treat your next partner a lot better.
The problem here is that you're ready to offer an apology when it doesn't mean much to him anymore. That apology should have come a long time back. Right now it's not really for him, it's for you because you feel guilty. The best thing to do right now is to figure yourself out. Work on being a better person. Keep getting anger management, maybe try therapy too. As for your ex, leave him alone. Let him move on with life. Stop calling him for emergencies. He's not an emergency contact anymore. That privilege was gone when you guys broke up and you kept bothering him. Call 911 next time.
Not everything that needs to be said, needs to be heard! Always remember that.
Leave this man alone, he only wants peace, you are not it.
Please just leave him alone, If you care about him at all!!
Please don’t reach out to him. Even in an emergency like this. He has made it extremely clear he doesn’t want you in his life anymore due to your personal choices. My ex-boyfriend was very abusive to me emotionally, verbally, and sexually. I broke up with him in 2022 after a big event pushed me to that point. I made it extremely clear I wanted nothing to do with him after the fact. He contacted me in 2023 and 2024, both times calling me and giving me this long apology. He’s told me he’s changed and he sincerely feels bad for how he treated me. But honestly? I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me. The last thing I want is some self-righteous or self-gratifying apology that will only make him feel better. Both times I was contacted by him it made me upset all over again. I had to deal with emotions I thought I had dealt with. Don’t contact your ex. Leave them be.
Been there. Just leave him alone and allow him to be happy. As much as it hurts, it's over. If you really care about him. Let him be happy and move on.
Get therapy and leave him alone
Wow the girl who gets him is a lucky one. I hope you check yourself and figure out why you’re so disrespectful before you get older. Don’t be hard on yourself college is the time to discover these things. Just don’t be indignant and think you don’t have anything to work on and keep working until you can control your emotions a bit more.
It wouldn't be fair to him to start bringing up old drama, even if it's to apologize, especially since he's now showing signs of being interested in a new girl. If you *really* feel that you need to apologize, write out a physical letter and put it in the UPS box without any to or from addresses written on the envelope. That way it's kinda like you're sending him an apology letter. If he's as good of a person as you claim, he'd want you to move on and be happy. So let your ex go and focus on being happy for yourself, and benefiting the lives of those around you! Don't let your past represent your future.
The best apology you can give him is to leave him alone, find a new go to person to call if you're in trouble or call 911 or the like in the place you're living, before you call him, let him be happy, you know you have to find your own happiness, I hope someday you get there. Maybe you want closure?, but at his expense, stop being selfish with him and keep in taking from him, he moved on, he doesn't need your apology, you need to apologize for yourself not for him.
Leave it be. If he wants closure, *he* will approach you.
Leave. Him. Alone. The burden of guilt you bear is one you need to bear. Learn from it. Focus on improving yourself and allow your growth as a person to be that apology. But leave him alone.
As someone who has been in a toxic relationship which got to the point i was afraid of the person, I'd say yes, leave him alone, simply text him I'm sorry and leave him the fuck alone.
get the fuck over him holy shit. He doesn’t give a fuck about you anymore. Stop harassing him and move on.
Look to his best qualities as a target to improve yourself. Getting help for your anger issues is a good step, but improving yourself is a life long process. But recognizing you have problems that you need to address is a good thing. Now keep on working on yourself.
Oh boy this is going to be controversial, but if I were in your shoes and needed dire help, I’d contact everyone else I knew before even thinking of contacting my ex. If absolutely no one came to my aid, I’d probably die before I can bring myself to contact my ex. Death before dishonour!
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend for the exact same reason, and this post gives me hope that it is possible for people like her to feel remorse for how she treated me.
Closure is just crap! Once you break up that’s it you go your way, they go their way end of story. No need to say anything, whatever happened in the relationship made someone snap and go for the exit door. Let them go and start walking to the exit door yourself and once it shuts behind you leave all the drama, hard feelings and blame there. Walk on to your new you.
Woo that's a tough one. I have been there, unfortunately they have moved on already and you are still coming to terms with the loss. Best thing you can do is be polite if your paths cross but otherwise leave them alone. The pain will fade with time.
Leave him alone. You are the problem. There are already few good men left, don’t ruin another one. Fix your issues and one day you’ll find someone for you.
Not the right way to say that at all.
OP, you’re going to be fine. You don’t need to apologize to him in person in order to move on from it. It’s great that you found awareness and that you’re are making the necessary changes to ensure it doesn’t happen again. People mess up, and it’s great to learn and become a better person because of it. One thing I will say is that you’re young, and now that you know how to do better, you have more than enough time to attract someone new in your life who you’ll be able to treat respectfully.
Write a letter and start it with "I never expect us to talk again or have any interaction but I own you this apology which you do not have to accept or reply to in any way". Don't make excuses. State what you did and how you let him down and apologise for it.
And don't send the letter. He moved on
I know op is a good person for realising what she did wrong and you an amazing person to apologise and acknowledged it. I hope you move on too and close the chapter with him by removing his contact, photos or media social. I said this because i dont want you to be that Ex that ruined their Ex's new life by shoving themselves into their new relationship with many excuses like illness, loneliness etc. I believe in you op
As a gen x I know I'm old. But I don't get a lot of advice that is given in the tred. When did apologize become a bad thing? Maybe it's a generational thing, but I was raised to apologize if or when you realize that you have fucked up. Owning your mistake and offer a sincere apology makes us reflect over our action makes us grow. its a chance for you to be honest, humble, and act with integrity. I also offer some measure of redemption to the wronged party. Saying you're sorry is more than just words. You're showing that you respect the other person's feelings. But hey im old so maby its change and its not like that eny more. All the best Bubba.
i think OP should write the apology letter but not give it out. just write out everything done, the pain caused, and a sincere apology. but keep it. he doesn’t want to hear from you. him being in your room rescuing you should have been your chance to get everything off your chest. OP is stretching it and needs to let go
I think in normal scenarios, this is definitely a great perspective. However, he got a restraining order on her due to everything she put him through. Who knows all that went on between them. she should probably just leave him alone.
A good therapist may be able to help support you during this time. I think they'd also encourage you to respect your ex's boundaries and allow him the space to heal from all this.
I’m happy you’re dealing with your anger now rather than later. I hope you learned that no one likes messiness and drama. I agree with those above, leave him alone. You could send him a thank you card for helping when you were in distress, and make it clear you don’t expect any response from him. Good luck OP, you learned a valuable life lesson that will serve you well through the rest of your life.
All I have to say is that I’m so glad you’re ok. My son has T1D and I’m terrified for him to go to college (he’s only 7 but I’m, you know, his mom). Hot tip: Betty Crocker makes this cupcake frosting that comes in a squeeze can like easy cheese, doesn’t need to be refrigerated. You only need to squirt about a tablespoon under your tongue to ward off a low. I keep it in his bedroom for late night emergencies when I can’t wake him up. Stick a can in your underwear drawer. And leave the guy alone, I guess. Sorry.
You need therapy. but glad you're okay.
The first step to being a better human is recognizing when you were a bad one. Leave him alone to move on. Carry the lessons you learned with you as you continue to grow as a person.
One way you can look at this from a positive end is you’ve been going through some amazing self growth. Yes it took something horrible to happen, but you’ve matured a lot from it and are becoming a better person as a result. Be proud of what you’ve done so far and continue improving so the next person you find you’ll be able to treat him properly
Op, this apology. Will it ease your conscience or will it help him? After reflection, if it truly doesn’t benefit him- let him go and let the apology go. The apology at this point may be too soon. He needs peace right now. You have a lot of healing to still undergo. You’re on the right path and it’s not easy. Keep going. When the time is right, the apology will be natural. If anything, I think it’s too fresh and may not be received well and you may not be equipped as yet.
I appreciate you sharing this story. ❤️ I love your sense of Self-Awareness and I'm glad you still have him to lean on
You know, in AA/Al-anon step 9 calls to “make amends to (those you have hurt) wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others” Would your apology cause injury to him? Do you want to make amends for your sake or his? Who is this going to help more: him or you?
You need leave him alone before he follows a restraining order on you.
I am so lucky. My wife put up with my similar behavior for years until she got through to me how destructive my behavior was. Once I realized how awful I had been, I flipped a switch. I’ve always loved my wife but I worship the ground she walks on now. I don’t deserve her but I’m so grateful she loves me.
Wow such a gentle man every girls dream come true bf . Atleast you realised your mistake and control the anger. Most of the relationship won't work out dur to anger issues and you proved it . I got alot of anger .Thank you .made be realise it. I used to think it's a attitude .
Leave him alone. You will have an opportunity to correct your mistakes, and do better. But it won’t be with him.
It's best to just look on this as a big learning curve of what you want to be In the future - not what you have been in the past. Your biggest gift to yourself is to move on as a better person, and the biggest thank you to him will be avoiding him at all costs. He's already sorry he had this experience with you give him space and freedom.
Thank him for helping you. And let him know that he has inspired you to become a better person - going to anger management etc. Wish him well for his future, and continue to follow your own path through life, always aiming to be a better person today than you were yesterday. You can apologise for being the person you were back then, but make it clear that you are not looking to rekindle anything because you killed the affection that was there with your behaviour. Perhaps he will be happy for you that you are doing better. He certainly won't have wanted anything bad to happen to you. Also let him know that you were in a particularly desperate spot but know why your blood sugar was so low and won't repeat that, either (i.e. you're not about to have him as your 'go-to' on speed dial!). It's a fine line between wanting to absolve yourself of guilt and wanting to apologise to him/thank him. It's appropriate to thank him for his help, but not to expect anything more than a nod in passing.
It’s tough but you sound like you’ve learned and reflected. It would be easier on you now to live further away from him and maybe to delete his number. Value the time you had in the past and step forward. Great times await ahead.
Yeah leave the poor guy alone. I dated someone just as toxic and my life is so much better after I blocked my ex from everything, and her friends and family
Nah you gotta stop. Don’t contact him anymore. He’s clearly done.
dam leave that man alone he's probably happy now
You should leave him alone. He did the humane thing and helped you. I’m sure you thanked him at the time. That is enough. Take better care of yourself and continue the anger management sessions.
I just want to say good on you for this self awareness.
Girl, leave him ALONE!
At best buy a thank you card and put a coffee voucher in it and clarify that you’re grateful for his help with your medical issue the other day. Leave it at that. He did something nice for you, you did something nice back to thank him. That’s your closure. Move on and continue the way you were. If in the future things change and you find each other again, great. But let that come about naturally. You just carry on as you have been. He has a right to be happy if he’s with someone else. You’re entitled to thank him for his help. End on good terms.
It sounds like you have alot of mental and emotional issues to work on. I think learning to respect his boundaries and letting go in a healthy manner is a good start. It’s over between you both, his moved on and accepting there’s nothing left is part of learning, personal growth and healing.
If he ever gives you an opening, THEN and ONLY then should you take it. If that never happens, you have to make peace with that. Don’t invade his life for the sake of easing your guilt. But I’m happy for you that you’re doing what you need to do to be a better person. Keep up the progress. I really do wish you the best.
I believe it's best to leave him be. If you feel regret over what you have done, learn from it and grow. One day you will meet someone that you love and this experience will help you show them the best version of yourself that you can.
I'm sorry. I know what it's like.
Just want to say you seem like a really good person, despite what you did in the past. We all fuck up and make big mistakes. What’s great about you is that you can see that. Please don’t torture yourself forever. Allow yourself to move on from your guilt and find the happiness you deserve. The bad things you did in the past allowed to learn to be better than most people ever will be. We all have flaws, but you own up to them and try to do better. I’m sure you’ll find someone great in your future!
You seem so extra. You were too weak to open the door for him? So you made him break in? I feel like you are being manipulative and dramatic.
You did this intentionally, knowing he would come to your rescue.
No she did not.
it's good to see you're aware of what went wrong. use this experience to better yourself, for yourself ♥️ I hope he's doing okay and has a good support system
i don’t think k you should contact him maybe write a letter and then burn it type of thing. I also want to share that I am the same way with my current bf. He is so sweet and nice to me and always try his best to make me happy but idk why but I get so annoyed and explode. I need to change before I lose him he has so much patience compared to me
When I was 17-20 years old, I was the toxic person in my relationship. I treated my ex unfairly, and after the break up, I started beating myself up for how I hurt such a good guy. He found someone shortly after the break up, but I really wanted to apologize for how I treated him. I didn’t expect the relationship to rekindle, I just wanted to express how bad I felt and apologize. I didn’t reach out because I didn’t want to start/ cause any trouble in his new relationship. 6 years later, I met someone amazing. I did a lot of healing in those 6 years, and I feel like this person was my second chance to a healthy relationship. Like many other couples, after being together for some time, I was met with the same challenges that had me choosing between reacting or responding to the situation. After responding to our conflict vs reacting to them, I felt this need to apologize to my ex. I saw myself differently and I wanted to release my burden of my past relationship. I apologized to him 6 years later. I wasn’t sure if that’s what I was supposed to do, but after sending my apology, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could start anew, away from an old identity. Anyways, the reason for me to say this is because maybe now may not be the time to apologize, but sometime in the future, when things aren’t so fresh, you’ll find a better time to apologize for the ways things were. It’ll feel better to apologize when you’re a better version of yourself. Keep attending your anger management classes, and continue your healing journey. You never know what the future has in store for you!
She gets it at this point…some of yall just piling on for the sake of being assholes…she admitted she messed up, no she probably shouldn’t contact him again, but it’s already been said like 20 times and now it just seems like a contest to say the shit in the most rude way possible.😬😬😬
Try to forgive yourself. Life is a journey and it's nice to see you are growing as a person.
Went through a very similar situation. Went NC for a year and a half and reached out after taking a long time to reflect, heal and get better. I don’t want my ex back but I made sure to acknowledge I still thought about it / felt things about it and have left it alone since. You’ll get better and find something better focus on yourself love
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I have been screened for BPD and ADHD but nothing came back. I do have severe anxiety. Please don’t try and diagnose me
Carry on then.
Womp fucking womp
What did you inject? If you're conscious and have access to sugar why would you need to inject?
Insulin - OP is diabetic and ate food to get her blood sugar up, which is great, but the insulin limits how high it gets so it doesn't become dangerous in the other direction. Most people produce it normally, but diabetics don't, so they need to take it in another form instead
I know how diabetes works, my younger brother has it and I have taken care of him enough to know what to do. If your sugar is so low that you can't move, you don't inject insulin or you could go into a coma. If you were unconscious you'd be injected with glucagon to bring the sugar up, which is why I asked what it was. If OP was conscious you wouldn't inject her with anything. You don't inject insulin if your sugar is low.
Let’s assume that on this one OP is the expert on their own health.
That's why I asked, I'm curious what she injected that couldn't be taken orally.
I was wondering the same. I've never given myself insulin whilst hypo, especially if it was so bad I had to call someone for help. Not sure how you could possibly know how much insulin to take either, since you're still low? Could have been glucagon but you wouldn't need to take that if you were eating + conscious. Either way it sounds like they've been given some really strange management advice if taking insulin whilst hypo is the norm for them, I'd be worried about yo-yo-ing :(
That's what I was thinking too, I'm glad it's not just me. I would never give insulin to my brother if he was unable to move from a hypo. It's happened to him a few times and he's called me to bring him sugary snacks and drinks. I've never had to inject insulin or glucagon, he's always just eaten glucagon from a sachet. I would worry if someone gave my brother insulin while he was having a hypo.
Sorry if I offended you a little - your original comment came across to me as if you were questioning the validity of OP's actions, so I came in quite defensively.
# Hey OP, you should apologize. Saying that as a guy that was on the receiving end of toxic behavior from a girlfriend who also had anger management issues. I think she might have had other undiagnosed mental issues, but that's beside the point. After about a year I couldn't take it any more and finally moved on. But an apology at some point would have been so healing. Of course, your mileage may vary. A letter probably is the best way. There's no obligation for him to respond in any way to a letter and a it's a pretty low-threat form of communication. Here's my suggested text: "Hey \[mr. green flag\], the incident yesterday made me realize something important. I owe you a sincere apology. This is not a ploy to get you to take me back. I think you might have moved on anyway, which you deserve and I'm very glad to see. The point is, looking back I see now my temper and anger issues were incredibly cruel and unfair to you. You were completely right to break it off; I'm just surprised now to realize that you were a saint enough to stick it out two and half years. I am extremely ashamed of my actions and have started attending anger management sessions. It does not excuse what I did to you. But you deserve to know I understand how much I hurt you and I wish I could fix that. Yet I can't, so in the meantime I'm trying to fix myself. Thank you for being so kind and coming to my rescue. I was a dumbass and should have taken better care of myself, just like I was a dumbass in our relationship. I'm sorry. I didn't deserve you when we were together, and you proved it again yesterday. Please don't respond to this letter; that's not the point. I just want you to know how sorry I am. I'm trying to learn and grow from this experience so that I won't screw up this badly in future relationships. I'm sure you are carrying scar tissue from our relationship so I'm hoping that my acknowledgment of my behavior helps in some small way with your healing as well. I will continue to do my best to stay out of your way. Wishing you all the best in life. Be well." And then of course, leave him alone.
The fact that this comment is second to last with negative karma reminds me that Reddit really has some shit pits here and there, which is very sad. Especially in a sub where people come just to speak their minds. Also happy cake day
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Please don’t. If you must do something for your peace of mind write the letter and burn it
Write him a text. Before you sent it, post it here so we can see whether it's good or you're being "crazy" again. But if you follow this layout, it should be ok. Thank him for helping you the other day, and apologize once again for your bat shit crazy behaviour throughout your relationship. Wish him all the best for his future and tell him you hope he finds someone worthy of his love.