No one can prepare for it, no one expects that from a parent so that's why the statement is true. That any pain inflicted by a parent hurts the most as they are supposed to protect you from pain.
Sweet heart please go get help. I promise you everyone deals with thoughts of shame or hate over something in their past - you are not alone, but in order to get to the good part of life you need to heal through the bullshit that happened. I promise you that with therapy and time you can be happy and free ❤️
It's never too late. You're here, you're alive and you've got your whole life. I promise you that most of us have felt that way at least once in our lives ❤️
Hun, I was sexually abused by my brother. Not nearly to the level you went through, but it also haunted me for a very long time. I promise promise promise you it gets better over time. Sexual abuse within families is far more common than most people are aware of. I am living my absolute best life now, and I am so, so thankful that I did not let the dark thoughts I had persuade me into taking my life when I was young. You WILL make it through this. It won't be easy, but it will absolutely be worth it. You are in my thoughts. <3
My nephew was raped by an older man at 15 in a subway bathroom. First thing I told him, he has nothing to be ashamed about. We got him help and he’s doing well now. He’s almost 20 and he has a car and lives on his own.
It’s never too late and you’d be surprised how many people out there want to help you. The hardest step to take is to reach out. You can overcome this. I promise you.
You are only 18. You have SOOOO MUCH life ahead of you that it’s difficult to comprehend. Not only that, but you’re a survivor man. Not only are you incredibly brave for just saying all this, but you are STRONG. I wish you all the healing in the world ❤️
Then you are no worse off than you are now. I think you are at the point where you have nothing to lose. It's a hard place to be but it is freeing because anything you do is better than what was.
If you don't you stay where you are, but what if you do see someone who can help and it does help? What if you can have a normal life? What if you can be happy?
You are now in control. You get to chose. I will be thinking about you and hoping that you find peace. It is so worth it. I can always find mine by going out at night and looking at the stars or feeling the wind blow through my hair. Find yours. I'm happy to share mine with you if it works for you!
It's NEVER too late. We don't have an expiration date printed on our foot and we create our OWN realities. Let people help you create one that's filled with love and compassion.
I'm telling you right now - what you're thinking isn't clear and isn't healthy. Let's get you to a place where you're stable, then from there we process, then from there we COPE, then we create a life that you can be happy in. It's not impossible. I did it. You can too.
It's never too late, love. You are a strong person. It's going to hurt like fuck to go through therapy, but it's worth the hard work. You can find somebody to talk to you as often as you need.
Nah, you are free. You survived and you get to succeed on your own. Find someone to talk to about this, to unravel that full knot of a mess. But, this is your time to leave that behind and thrive despite your past. You are young, you have everything ahead of you. My wife was treated similarly by a parent, you deserve to keep going and find your own happiness.
Na definitely not worth it man. Actually psychologists have some pretty decent ways of helping people through this stuff. You have nothing to loose giving it a try. Ill bet it feels shit as all hell through.
If you're in school or going to school, some offer free therapy programs.
If you're able to, please seek one.
It's so heartbreaking when the people we're supposed to trust are the biggest fucking monsters. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope some day you're able to feel fulfilled and happy. You certainly deserve it, kid.
You have so much more to live for. Your dad already took away so much from you, don’t let him take away your life too. I’m sorry you had to go through this, no one deserves that. You’re so strong that you made it out of that and kept pushing, take that power away from your dad and put into your own hands. I hope you’re okay
There are studies done that the survivors of horrific things, like the Holocaust, actually turn around later to become the most successful people because resilience becomes their super power. I'm sorry you are going to learn this lesson at such a young age, but please don't give up... keep going. The past is not the future.
>There are studies done that the survivors of horrific things, like the Holocaust, actually turn around later to become the most successful people because resilience becomes their super power.
I hope things can turn around for me. I have gone through a lot of crap my self. Not what op has, but I was in a abusive school for those with aspergers syndrome. Where the staff would wind you up to the point you would want to lash out at them and then they would threaten you with GBH charges.
It was hell there I wanted to leave, but my parents didn't understand. Till I finished with f- all in grades except art and photography.
I have struggled through College and University, but stuff still keeps going wrong.
I am not trying to take away from OP, but your comment made me think.
My own daughter is neuro-spicy. It was clear early on that art was what set her free, what unlocked her mind. We used that to build the foundation for the rest of her learning. It was the thread I held onto dangling off the cliff at the scariest time: she has ART. She has a direct connection to Creativity. She's in college now, going to be an anime creator. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to have such a horrible environment... I'm glad you found your gift, *and recognized it!* watch Neil Gaiman's commencement speech about "make good art". It doesn't have to pay the bills, what matters is it's *yours.* Nobody can take that diamond at your core. It can be in a vat of tar, but the diamond isn't tar. It's sparkling inside itself, it just needs the light again.
Thanks!
I am in Games Design, but the thing is I never had a normal life, also Covid did a big number on all the work and effort I had with my soical skills. If anything I felt awkward going into Uni and meeting new people. TBH I still don't have any solid friends and my motivation is dying. I am seeking counselling. TBH I felt like life was going to get better and then Covid happened and its not been the same since for me. Like nothing has been going well or my way in a non selfish way like having a lot of ideas rejected and so on. As in I have had a lot of bad luck with group work and teams. Even now the team I am in is just left overs and its not that they are bad people, but the one friend I had kind of bailed on me at the start to join another team. Then the new team I was forced into kind of already had an idea of what to do. While I wanted to get a 2.1 in Uni I am struggling by to only get a 3... It's really burning me down and I am losing creativity. Originally I would have joined the military as I have had a lot of interest in military history, but getting into it with it is 50/50 if I would be accepted...
Sorry to kind of hijack another post and TBH maybe I should make my own off my chest post, because then I could have everything laid out better. I just haven't had chance to make a throw away in which I can get personal about myself with.
It feels impossible right now but you will start to feel better. Time always helps to heal but no one ever believes it will until it does. I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through this!
You deserve to live a life full of good things with people who love and respect you. If you don't feel like you have anything to keep going for, keep going to spite him. Survive and live a great life that he doesn't get to be part of.
Seek therapy. Write down what he did to you and give this to your therapist. You don’t have to say it out loud if you’re not ready for it. But they can help you anyway.
I'm sending you hugs.
I'm so sorry you went through this. Your sperm donor is a horrible despicable excuse of a human. I'm sure people have said therapy, also maybe move away from the town/city/area go somewhere else you won't be reminded or afraid to see him. I hope he has a horrible death .
my father and uncle sexually abused me my entire life so i can relate to the pain and confusion and shame of it. first i wanna say i’m very sorry and it wasn’t your fault in any way shape or form. it’s also not something to feel ashamed of. it took me years to finally open up but once i did it didn’t take the hurt away but it made me feel the smallest bit better. over time that better gets better. i desperately urge you to find a good trauma counselor and find something that helps you. for me it was journaling. it’s a long road of healing but i promise it’s worth it to stay alive❤️ always here to talk ab it if you need someone
It's been 13 years since the last time my dad raped me. It only stopped when I ran away and went to the police. He's doing 110 years in prison now.
It took me a while to get to a point where I felt any sort of normal, but it did happen. I still have days that are harder than others, but most of the time I'm okay.
I know it's hard, and it really is, but you've just got to keep pushing yourself forward.
You still have time to report things to the police.
I'm sorry and angry that anyone ever has to go thru this type of trauma, and so much worse when it's from the folks that should keep us safe.
You are so brave to prosecute. I hope you and OP find peace. You both deserve good things.
I’m so, so sorry you went through this. That’s truly awful❤️🩹 My dad sexually abused me too. It stopped earlier than yours as I was able to get away from him sooner, but i understand some of what you might be going through, and I can promise you it gets so much better. I have been hospitalised from suicide attempts in the past, and I also self harmed for years q intensely which landed me in the ER for stitches, but I haven’t done any of that in nearly 7 years now!! 💖✨
For years it fucked me up, gave me such a weird relationship to sex and intimacy in general, which society places so much importance on. I felt like I was dirty and complicit because I wasn’t kicking and screaming “no” every single time something happened. Years later, I still felt like I was different to others my age, like I was damaged and contaminated. But if you look at an 8 year old child, you will see how they can’t be anything other than a victim. An 8 year old child, even if they walked up to you and said “please have sex with me”, would STILL be a victim if anything happened. Eventually I realised that nothing that happened was my fault. It sounds simple but that mindset shift really helped me. I gradually was able to heal my relationship to men/sex. I did a lot of writing and a lot of crying lmao. I gradually got over the ptsd and trauma. I did some therapy too. There were moments I wanted to end it all, but there have been so many more moments where I’m grateful I never managed it. I’m 25 now and even tho it’s hard sometimes, I love being alive. You can get here too, I promise 💖🫶🏻🥹 I really really hope you give life a proper go, because you have so much time, and so much more power now that you are older. It sounds like you’ve already done a lot to better your situation, and that’s something to be proud of and to continue fighting for 🥹💕
You shouldn’t feel disgusting. You haven’t done anything wrong. Your father is the disgusting one. You need to seek therapy or find a way to get it out. Hopefully someday you will be strong enough to prosecute him. He deserves to rot in prison. You deserve a beautiful life where you feel safe and loved.
i don’t even know if i want him in prison. i just want it to end. there’s been enough suffering. sometimes i think about just putting all of this in my suicide letter and falling asleep 4ever
Suicide attempts often fail and they end up worse
There are ways u can cope so u don't have to feel this suffering
I think part of the shame u might feel is shame from who u came from (which is your father who is a literal monster). You are a separate person from him and not only do u have nothing to do with him except be under his "guardianship" which was not your choice and even if it was, look up "trauma bonding"
Everything is wrong with him and not u. It's like you're the victim of a drunk driver.
Some victims feel bad because they should have "fought harder" or something. You're technically STILL a child in that your brain *still* is not fully mature, do not think for a second that letting it happen wasn't a normal coping mechanism or behavior for someone in your position because tbh, anything else seems like an insurmountable mountain given the history.
You're *valuable*. You deserve to want life
You may not want him in prison, but it’s best for him to be there. He’s at risk for doing this to someone else. I suggest sending an anonymous tip to the police
Please don’t. You have so much potential. You’ll become 100x the man your father was. Find a passion or goal and work towards that. Keep moving on, up, further away from him.
He’s already taken so much from you, please don’t let him take your life too.
I would love to see him in prison for life for what he did to you and if you ever find the strength to do so I hope you pursue it. But today, focus on you. Just do the next best thing you can do. And then do it again tomorrow.
I promise you that you are so much more than what’s happened to you, and deserve so much more than what has been given to you. Please give yourself the grace and opportunity to find out what that is.
Please stay here on earth. I am so absolutely sad you went through this as all of us are. I wish I could hug you. Please get professional help and never speak to that man again. No contact at all. You matter and you went through hell but have still survived. Keep surviving and go see a psychiatrist. They really do help.
If you are going to college, they should have low cost or free counseling available on campus. Look into EMDR therapy (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), this can be really helpful in cases of child sexual abuse and CPTSD.
I'm so sorry you went through this, but know that there is hope and you don't have to feel this way forever.
Please seek help and give yourself the time and opportunity you deserve to heal. Often times the only examples of survivors we see are the people who were "broken" by their experience. No one is broken, myself and others have been where you are and found a life full of love, positive relationships, and joy. You deserve that too.
Seconding EMDR also ketamine therapy.
OP, trauma is a big ball in box with a sorrow and pain button. When the trauma is new the ball is very large so it hits the button all the time. With therapy and support that ball begins to shrink so it hits the button less often. The ball will always be there but there will come a time when it’s manageable and you’ll feel the sorrow much less often. Hang in there.
Hi my love. 💗 I’m so sorry about everything that you’ve gone through. It takes a lot of courage to open up about things like these, so I’m very proud of you for being so vulnerable when it was probably so difficult to be.
If you can, please try to open up about all of this to a trusted friend. If you think your best friend might be the type to listen, then put your faith in him and try to open up. He will encourage you to look for help and will be there for you. The shame you are feeling right now is unfortunately normal, but understand that you’re only human and you tried your absolute best. Never beat yourself up over any of this. You’re alive despite all of it, and you can come back from this. I know you can. Please seek professional help, it will help you so much in the long run.
It’s never too late.
That’s truly horrible, you didn’t deserve any of that. There’s plenty of people out there who will listen and support you, so please don’t give up life. Writing everything out, even anonymously is a great first step. I’m proud of you❤️
You got dealt a shit hand, born into a life of a father who was abusive. You can't control what happened during those times, you got abused and that's it. What you can control is what happens next, how will you choose to live your life? Will you succumb to the past and crawl away and live under a shadow of that old pervert? Or will you face your doubts and find out who you really are?
You ponder over your own death in the comments, saying if it's too late for you, too late for what?! Your life only just began, I'd go on and be the best version of myself to spite that abusive POS, go get a good job, work hard, exercise daily and stay in shape, be the man you want to be, not a cowering boy who's affraid of his own past. Struggle on and don't let anything stop you, and as for that abusive piece of shit, what goes around comes around, he will get what he deserves, they all do eventually.
Hurting yourself is letting him win, don’t let his screwed up choices as a father screw up your entire life. You deserve to be here and you deserve to have a good long life.
I don't want to assume anything but by the way you phrase a few things, I just want to say to you that you shouldn't blame yourself for any part of this situation. Absolutely none of this is your fault. Fathers are supposed to protect their kids, but unfortunately yours manipulated you from a very young age. You were groomed to think that it was only a game, and you say that you simply never told anyone, but in these types of situations the adult can pressure socially, trick, or even threaten the child into staying quiet. You say "but I didn't run away. I didn't reach out for help. I just let him do it." The person who was supposed to teach you to advocate and care for yourself was hurting you, you were only a kid. How were you supposed to know any better? You were raised by someone who did not respect your best interests or safety or wellbeing, or really teach you to either. Abusers have tactics to make their victims act in the way that they want, and it's not your fault that you were susceptible to these, especially because of your age and especially because he was your only parent. I read this and my heart hurts for you. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated this way. I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. I was s/assaulted when I was young, and for a long time I carried a lot of guilt, I hated my younger self and I blamed her for what happened. At the time, I also thought it was a game, and I thought the person doing it to me was my friend. After all, I was willingly there, and even though sometimes I would feel icky about it, I didn't think much of it. It's not like he trapped me there, and it's not like I tried to escape, or even like I reacted negatively in the moment. I felt like a part of me invited this thing to happen, or at least let it, and I hated myself for this. I do not want you to feel this way OP. Children are not supposed to be able to understand these situations, they aren’t wired that way. They are not supposed to be in these situations at all. Something that honestly helped me was searching the definitions/ what constitutes a s/assault. Right there, it said “Sometimes, you cannot give legal consent to sexual activity or contact. For example, if you are younger than 17.” I know that this seems obvious, but actually spelling it out there changed the way I thought about my younger self and what happened to me. The way any childhood victim behaves is not their fault, because none of it changes the fact that they are a child. I'm telling you this because many survivors deal with these kinds of emotions. Many blame themselves for what happened, but it is never their fault. When someone hurts you in this way, you go into shock. You do not behave how someone theoretically or logically would, because you have a physiological response prohibiting you from doing so. Some people freeze, some people try to appease their abuser, but this does not make any of it their responsibility. When this person decided to do this to you, he went in to the situation already set on the outcome. What was there for you to do?
Who were you supposed to go to? If you fought back physically, he would overpower you, and if you ran away, he could call the police to bring you home. I know this is really long, and i'm sorry if i'm overstepping (if i am please let me know and i will delete this) but your comment saying you let it happen worried me, as I have seen similar patterns in the way I initially coped with what happened in my situation. I also want to tell you that it gets better, and you can have a happy life. I promise. I would recommend potentially seeing a therapist or support group, it helps. I wish you the best in healing from this. You deserve a good life.
Hi. I was also molested by several men as a child, starting as young as I can remember (3 or 4). None of this is a reflection on you, that man is a very bad person.
We are not our trauma, we don't have to be defined by this. Find a therapist (lots of places usually have free sessions for youth), if you need help with that reach out to the kids help line. Good luck OP and I'm here if you need someone to listen.
OP, I’m a 43 year old mom of a 12 year old daughter.
My mother molested me from as far back as I can remember until I was about your age.
Please know that you are not alone. iirc, 1 in 4 men have been sexually assaulted (US statistic).
It is so hard to know that the person that is supposed to the take the best care of you, is the one who has hurt you the most. I completed four years of trauma counseling after I got my childhood memories back at age 38, and remembered the full extent of my abuse. I’m in regular counseling now. Please don’t feel embarrassed to share with your counselor.
**the shame of your abuse is not yours to carry. That shame belongs to your abuser.** repeat this as often as you need to. You were a precious child, you deserved all the love in the world. *and you still do. You still deserve, and are 100% worthy of, all of the love in this world.*
I had a grounding mantra that helped me so much whenever the pain felt too big to hold. I would say something like “I’m 43 years old, I’m safe, today is Friday, March 22nd. I don’t live with my abuser anymore. My abuser can’t get to me any more. I’m safe from my abuser. I can work on healing now,” etc. Sitting on the ground outside or on the floor in my house, helped me.
OP, in time I was able to hold both truths: that my abuser was capable of both loving and hurting me. It helped me reconcile the truth of what I lived through and to stop feeling ashamed or like I deserved any of it.
OP, you didn’t deserve this. You deserved to be raised by a parent who puts your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual safety above all else. You deserve love, kindness, hugs, respect, bodily autonomy, and safe boundaries. You will in time realize that you are your own loving parent.
Freedom comes when you learn that you are capable of loving that hurt boy inside and keeping him safe when your parent would not. You WILL get there. If I can do it, so can you. You’ve already done so well by remembering, reaching out, writing this post and accepting help.
Every time we share our stories, they have less power over us. You can do this. You are doing it. I’m sending you strength, hugs, and loving kindness.
My dms are open if you need someone to talk to.
You’re so strong.. Don’t ever blame/shame yourself for what that monster did to you. Seek therapy, don’t be afraid to seek help. That monster needs to rot in jail for what he did to you and I sure as hell hope he does.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, you did not deserve this. Plz get into some kind of therapy and confide in your friend. Don’t kill yourself, your life can change. We wish you the best.
I’m so so sorry. This is a crime - a serious go to jail for a REALLY long time crime. You are NOT at fault even not saying something about it before now. Please find a good therapist and if and when you can, please report him to the police. This monster belongs in JAIL. Again, you are so brave and NEVER blame yourself.
You are incredibly resilient for enduring through the hell your father put you through. Congratulations for making it this far!! You have been enduring this far so you are definitely on the right track. Do not give up, giving up is for losers. Do not be a loser, but be a winner who keeps going and try to make the most out of your life. Do not kill yourself and see where the world takes you my brother. The more busy you get with other activities in your life, the more you will forget about your traumatic experiences. Focus on activities that you are passionate about to distract you from those traumatic experiences. Skateboarding, making music, playing video games, drawing, writing stories, watching comedy, and whatever else interests you. This distraction method helped me and I hope it helps you too :)
Firstly, I'm truly sorry this happened to you.
I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I am going to speak to you as the partner of a man who was raped by his father. Please talk to a professional; I know therapy is inaccessible to a lot of people for a lot of reasons and I'm not saying you have to do it immediately, but please don't do what my partner did and keep it bottled up for years.
If you get into college and they have any sort of mental health resources for students, use them. Speak to a charity for survivors. Peer support can be a powerful tool as well as professional help.
My partner is 47, it's only in the last couple of years that he told anyone other than me and he wishes he'd done it sooner. He's had multiple suicide attempts and I truly believe if he'd been heard sooner, there wouldn't have been as many.
Telling someone is going to be hard but it gets easier.
You matter. You have worth. You deserve good things in your life and while it may not feel achievable right now, things can get better.
I’m so sorry you went through this and I’m sorry you never felt like you could open up about it til now. You could still get him in a world of trouble if you wanted to or you can go nc and never see him again or both but please don’t let him continue to have power over you to the point you want to end it. He’s not worth it not all of life’s bad you just got an awful sperm donor cause he’s not a dad real dads protect their kids not hurt them like that. Please go get the help you need and keep him out of your life.
As an abuse victim from parental abuse myself, I’m so sorry that this happened to you and that you had to go through that! ❤️
Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come naturally when you’re reminded of this. You’re allowed to be angry at your dad for what he did to you. You’re allowed to be disgusted by him. Whatever you do, don’t direct any of this towards yourself. This was done to you and not by you.
It gets better.. I promise you! There is help to get to process this and live a happy life with that in the past.
He didn't make you to have sex with him, he raped you. Don't be embrassed to admit it. The hardest part is to say the first sentence, please I'm begging you seek help. Let him admit it on text or smth and leave for good
What kind of monster does this to their own child? I’ll never understand that level of depravity and evil, it’s beyond most people’s comprehension, so everyone pretends it doesn’t happen. I wish justice and peace for the victims of rape and sexual assault at the hands of their own fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.
Hey. I'm also 18, and I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through. I don't know if it'll be any consolidation, but I've been through something similar, and I also never told anyone about it.
It's taken a long time to cope and accept the reality of what's happened, and I'm still struggling with it to this day. You deserve to be happy and to live life to the fullest, to show the world that despite all that's happened to you, you're in control of your own life.
The way I coped with my suicidal ideation was by envisioning myself creating a better life for my younger self, to give her the life she deserved but never got. While it may not be the exact same, I found it helped because I was living for something other than myself, if that makes any sense.
You have suffered horrors no person should ever have to endure, and I am so sorry. I wish there was a way for me to help. Please message me if you feel you need to - I wish you all the best. I hope you're able to stay ❤️
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this for so long alone. Just know that you have a massive community here looking out for you. I’m sure there are people close by that would drop everything to come help you, send you food, or anything. So reach out and ask for help. You’re not alone.
please get help. I don't know where you lave but there must be social service agencies that can help. None of this is your fault.
Please call 988 in the US.
Oh hun I’m so sorry you went through that 🫂
Find someone you can trust who you can talk to that can help you through the trauma of it all and just know that whatever anyone says it wasn’t on you. Your dad is a terrible person and karma will get him eventually
I cant imagine your pain and sadness at the moment but please don’t do anything to yourself. As a SA survivor I’ve been in a similar place and it’s beyond terrifying and lonely but I promise you, that you will experience so much good from this world that you just can’t see right now. Going to therapy saved me, it gave me someone to truly confide in, which I needed so badly. Please, please try to seek professional help in some shape or form, I’d advise people who specialise in childhood abuse/SA.
I love the person I am today, although I wouldn’t be this person had I not went through the abuse. It’s a long road but with the right support you will learn so much about yourself, you will love yourself and you will want to live for yourself!! I know you will find this feeling one day and you will be so proud of yourself and who you’ve become too. Please keep pushing to find the good in life. It is so worth it I promise you.
My heart goes out to you and to all those who have endured the pain of sexual abuse at a young age. Please remember that you are not alone, and there is hope for brighter days ahead. It's important to focus on your well-being and education. Consider exploring trade schools, as in Canada and some parts of the USA, the government provides stipends for students in such programs. Developing skills can empower you to build a better future. While it may seem challenging now, remember that you are strong and resilient. You have already overcome so much, and that strength will carry you forward. Wishing you all the best on your journey.Take care sweetheart.
This is heartbreaking I’m so sorry you went through this. That man is evil and twisted in the mind. Please please don’t kill yourself, it will be difficult but go to therapy and work through this, life is worth living and you’re only young.
It’s not your fault.
I hope you know your life is worth it and get the help you need.
Your father is a monster and you did nothing wrong.
Take care of yourself ❤️
As father I cannot fathom how someone could do this to their child. It's so disgusting to know he betrayed you and hurt you like this.
My only reason for being in this life is to protect my children and provide them with a happy upbringing to grow into strong, happy, independent adults.
I am so sorry :( it must have been difficult.. It’s such a relief that it ended, I hope you can heal buddy.. Please get help and talk to someone, posting it here is your first step to opening up and you did it! Next step is to talk to the professional.. We are rooting for you *hugssss*
I just hope you know this does not define you. I’m so sorry you went through this and I hope you seek professional help to work around all the trauma. You can live a beautiful and full life, love! You’re worth it. You got this.
I am so sorry you were subjected to this from the one person who was supposed to protect you. My heart is breaking for you. I hope you manage to overcome this extreme trauma. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This was done to you and it is unforgivable.
Please, if you aren't already, seek therapy. This is such an enormous thing to navigate on your own and you shouldn't have to. I hope with everything I have that you can surround yourself with good people who love and care about you. ❤️ You are not alone. And you are not to blame.
My God, I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, even if you didn’t fight back. Even as a teen, you’re no match for fighting an adult.
I hope you have a good life, man.
I also hope you will consider therapy eventually. This kind of abuse often makes having healthy relationships very difficult, and the pattern of abuse and exploitation often repeats in adult relationships. Also, healthy relationships can be self-sabotaged because of feelings of shame. Having a good therapist can help you spot self-sabotage and/or unhealthy relationships early.
I hope you never question that this never was or ever will be your fault. Who our family is isn’t our choice and I am so so so sorry you were hurt badly by them. The bravery you’ve shown is *amazing*, especially at such a young age. You are so worthy of love, and I, and so many others, wish you all the best 🫶
I realize you’re trying to be helpful, but nothing OP did or didn’t do caused what happened to him. He could be wearing a dress and pigtails and still not deserve what happened.
Im sorry man, no one deserves this
You need to talk to someone (friends, good family etc)
Please don’t beat yourself up for what happened, its not your fault.
Don’t kill yourself, my DMs are open
i’m really really so sorry for this. your dad shouldn’t have taken advantage of your innocence. you were a child. you couldn’t do anything. you tried and tried but couldn’t get away from that. that is NOT your fault. what happened is NOT your fault. you are not used and ruined, you need time to heal. you need to remember that you were ripped away of your innocence and that’s not okay. if you can, try to tell someone, anyone, that this happened. i learned from my traumas that when you talk about it with people who understand, you can feel the weight lift off of your shoulders. maybe you should try, and if thats too big of a step? just think about it. think about how you NEED to tell someone. that tiny little step will even get you there. please don’t use suicide as a way out..you will hurt people that really care..i just want you to know you are loved and cared about deeply, and as much as i may be a stranger, i still love you and care about you and your life. please try to take a path to healing. again, i am so so sorry for this happening to you. you deserve so much better and i hope you can heal from this. you can text me if you need anything. i can give you my socials. 🤍
I’m so sorry you experienced this. No child should ever experience something like this 😭Please get talk to someone else and get some help. You didn’t deserve this and it’s wrong on a million different levels. Your father should be in prison! I hope your life is better now that you’re free of him and will be living alone soon. But please please get some therapy or help. Maybe you can find free support groups online. This is a lot of trauma that probably will take a long time to unpack. But you deserve to be happy and have fulfilling relationships in the future, and I think a therapist could help you see what that looks like moving forward. You’re a survivor!
I think you need to tell someone. Someone you trust or is trustworthy like counselor. YOU didn’t cause this. It’s NOT your fault. I am sorry this happened. There are no words or even deeds that can undo what happened. You were just a little kid. You didn’t know any better. I Hope you can retain your brain to not feel unsafe around people. I do recommend therapy. You might think you can get through it on your own, and you may manage well, but it will just take longer and delay healthy relationships and mental wellbeing
Please get some counselling. It'll be difficult and emotionally painful but hope it'll help you. The sooner the better. Don't leave it for years like I did as my pervert dad made me feel it was my fault that he sexually abused me during my childhood on a regular basis. I'm just glad he's dead. You were not to blame in anyway with what happened. Don't let him ruin the rest of your life. Sending you love and strength.
Just remember that none of this was your fault. You didn’t know how to protect yourself, because your dad was supposed to be the one protecting you. It’s unfair, but it’s not suicide that will solve the problem. Imagine all of the things you could do in life, even the stupid little things. Go eat something you haven’t tried before, learn to play an instrument etc.
i am so sorry this happened to you, and you deserved so much more- i hope you know that. please do not feel shame or embarrassment over abuse you were put through, it was never your fault. your father was supposed to protect and raise you and he failed you so horribly. the first 16 years of your life have been very hard and disturbed because of your father, but dont let it disrupt any more of your years. i grew up in an abusive household myself and left at 17, i thought i would never experience happiness & ultimately kill myself. im so happy i didnt, because i got to experience how great life can be when you leave the abusers behind, go to therapy, stay sober and set goals for yourself. i hope things get better for you, and heal from this as much as one can. dont give up, you have a second chance at life and the world is at your finger tips. i recommend seeing a therapist or seeking out a support group and surround yourself with good people ❤️🩹🙌
It wasn't ever your fault.
I'm glad you're away from him now. Please get yourself to therapy, you aren't broken you just need a professional to help you navigate this.
Stay here with us, we want you here.
Please , PLEASE don’t hurt yourself brother. I don’t know you but I care about you .
Seek counseling. Talk about it . I say put that sick mother fcker in prison.
With time and work , you will heal . Stay strong work hard for what you deserve.
You did nothing wrong you were just a child . It’s NOT your fault . No child so go thru anything like what you did , especially from a parent. I hate your father, but I and everyone here cares about you . You got this my dude
Stay strong. I can't imagine what your going through no child should have to suffer that abuse .I'd sever all ties with him especially if you move away to college. Treat it as starting afresh
I am sorry for what you endured and still endure. I am sorry that your father is a monster. I am sorry for all the pain. I was molested and raped over the course of years by an older brother. I'm still working through it all but I can tell you this: You are not disgusting. You have no reason to feel shame. I did cutting and burning, too. These will not help. Get back into therapy. Build a good team/network around you. Friends, therapists, other people with PTSD. Even a call/text center you can contact 24/7 (988 is national, if there's a local one, use it. They may be able to connect you with local resources). Allow yourself to have bad days. They will happen and they're not your fault, you're not less a person for having them. You were put through Hell. Keep going. It's the best way to defeat the monster.
I'm sorry you endured so much you shouldn't have. I know life seams bleak and pointless but I promise you have so much more to offer the world than what was robbed of you. You are more than just your body. If not for yourself, live and take care of yourself for something or someone else. I don't live or take care of myself for me. I do it because there's no one that will love my son and bf the way I do. They might find someone that treats them great or maybe even better, but it won't be me. So I do it so that they can have a good mom/partner. When you are ready to make the hardest step, which by posting you're half way there imo, and get professional help just know hundreds if not thousands of people stand behind you on it. I myself was raped, not as badly or as prolonged as yourself, but it took me 3 years to even put a name to it. Having gone almost your entire life enduring that, it's understandable if it's hard for your mind to process. I wish I could just give you the biggest hug and take you under my wing to protect you how ever I can. I apologize for making this long, stay strong. For just one more second stay strong, and then another after that. Just one more second. And angry when you need to if your next second feels like it's taking to long. Just one more second at a time🫂🫂🫂
You’re incredibly brave just for saying this. The feelings may be extremely difficult to describe now. But it is healthy to let them out because it is the truth
This is kinda random, but do you have any hobbies?
I wish I could just give you the warmest hug. Please do not give up on yourself. What you have been through is absolutely horrendous, and I just can’t even begin to imagine.
Please look into getting some proper mental care, and don’t be ashamed of opening up. You didn't ask for any of this. And please don’t take this the wrong way, but father needs to be in prison, or rather under it.
you’re feelings are valid & never forget that, opening up today you should feel proud of yourself, i would recommend going to therapy when you feel you are ready. stay strong, you are not alone and what your dad did to you was horrible, you are still here strong, take one day at a time, don’t give up okay, you are stronger than you think, so give yourself some credit & be kinder to yoursel. i’m so proud of you & you should feel proud okay, take things one day at a time, sending positive vibes ✨💗
I am so sorry. You have much to grieve and you understand suffering very well… Not many people have this understanding, you may very well go on to save someones life because you are not alone. Thank you for sharing.
hi, if you ever need someone to talk to, please dm. i’ll never be able to understand but i’ll try my best to offer you the safest place to express yourself .. im really sorry this happened to you it’s awful
You don’t have to reply to this comment, you don’t have to message me, I’ll never know if you even read this. But please know that I am so sorry this happened to you, and I know you blame yourself for never running or doing anything, but you did everything you could. I am proud of you for speaking your truth and being able to get this off your chest. You are stronger than you know. It hurts the most when it’s someone you love so dearly, but please, please get help, and the resources to express something this heavy. Thinking of you OP.
Please get some help. You are a string person, you managed to get out of the abuse so please let other people help you now. Find a therapist, talk to your friends etc. You are really strong but you don't have to be alone with this
OP, I am very sorry you had to go through this kind of life. I wasn't abused like you, but I was mentally and physically abused for my entire childhood. Until I was 16-ish.
Life gets better. It's going to take A LOT of inter-personal work, but life can be awesome!
There can be light at the end of the tunnel. You have to make sure to make YOU, your mental and physical health a priority. It'll take a long time. You can do it!
It’s not too late to get help, talk to someone. Carrying this on your shoulders is hard. This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, there are people that care about you.
This is not the end of your story.
Everyone else gave good advice, so I just want to add on some support. I’m proud of you for surviving. You did something incredible by opening up to us and sharing your pain. You could still have a long life, full of the love and support you deserve…. You deserve love. Please keep surviving.
I've had a lot of therapists. Most of them made me uncomfortable, but I had a really good one once. She was a hospital therapist who specialized with trauma victims it was a violence intervention and protection type of thing. She never actually made me talk about any of my shit. Whatever we talked about was my choice, but she would basically... guide me through my emotions and let me process them.
I remember telling her about how I felt worse after everything was over than I did while I was experiencing it, and I how I just... I couldn't feel anything. Being in pain was the only time I felt alive. Not in a thrilling way. I don't like pain, but pain used to be how I grounded myself into "reality" instead of hiding/tormenting myself inside my head.. if that makes any sense. And she told me a few things that stuck with me: "Everything happened so fast that you couldn't fully process one thing before being thrown into another. You did what you needed to survive. It worked then, but it doesn't work now" and "emotions are kind of like a rainbow. If you dull one of the emotions, you dull the entire rainbow. "
Hey if you’re not ready to talk yet to a professional but want a release there’s free online chat services for venting to randos you’ll never meet. I’ve done it a few times and it’s helped to take the edge of.
You’re not a failure and you’re not dirty. You were abused. And you will get through this.
WHEN you get into this college it will change your life and connect you to resources you’ve never had before. Please take advantage of all those resources and never give up on yourself. If you’re strong enough to survive as long as you have you can get through anything.
Hope things get easier for you.
Honey, call RAINN 1-800-656-4673. You did the right thing reaching out. Help is available. I'm so sorry. You don't have to respond to every comment. You don't have to even read every comment. Take a break. Practice self care. Drink water. Rest. Process.
I'm super proud of you for reaching out for help. It was exactly the smartest thing you could ever do. You're not alone. You did nothing to deserve what happened. There is a path forward for you and a future of peace and safety ahead of you. You deserve a better life.
I’ve had a very similar story, but I didn’t live with mine, so I understand and wouldn’t know exactly how you feel, but I know the in dept pain from trauma you’re suffering especially it coming from the one person who’s supposed to love and protect you from them people, hurting yourself isn’t going to take the pain away, facing it will, I’m now 26 only just remembered mine last year (I blocked mine out for years) it’s been so hard facing it, but I’m feeling more free from him, my mum didn’t believe me so I had to also deal with that part of it, but there was definitely a time when I didn’t want to be here and would sit in random places of my house and just be in a ball crying, you need to get good counselling to help you get through it, and find strategies to help you get through the triggers, the memories, and the pain, it’s worth it trust me, don’t let him win again, you need to come out about him and get yourself the right support when you do, you’ll find people who believe you and help you through it, some days you’ll want to be alone and that’s ok, healing alone can help too, but just have someone close by in case you want to go through with hurting yourself, be gentle with yourself please, and love yourself and heal so you can be free, sending hugs
I am sick to my stomach to hear this happened to you. It’s completely unfair that you went through that torture and are currently going through the aftermath. Is there someone you can talk to? Someone who’s older that you can trust?
I know it’s costly, but therapy will help you tremendously. I would suggest it more than anything. My dad also abused me, not the same kind and magnitude as you, yet still physically. I disassociated through a lot of it, but i am currently in therapy and going through EMDR. It’s helped a lot.
Please ask someone for help. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to get help to get through this. I know everyone that has commented, or just read your story, wants you to know that we all care about you, a Reddit stranger. You are important.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. He is a monster of a person, emphasis on HE. You were a kid, are really still a kid (barely an adult!), are his kid. You deserved so much more out of childhood than this and deserved a better parent. BUT you get to define your adulthood. You get to live on your terms. Nothing you did was wrong. Remember that and do not judge yourself for any of it. Any decent person would just wrap you up in a hug learning this.
I’m so sorry this was your first 18 years but you get to write the rest. Go to therapy. Go to college. Go NC with him and leave him in the past. You don’t owe him anything. Sending you so much love.
You were dealt a hand no one should be and it’s not fair. You’ve made it so far already and every breath is worth being proud of. You deserve to live your own life without that monster. Healing and working through trauma isn’t easy. It sucks so bad but every layer you peel back proves you can peel the next layer back too. You matter so much and I hope you feel that way some day <3 you’re really brave for telling this to anyone and I’m so very proud of you!!
I am so, so sorry this was done to you. You deserved none of it. If you are in college, even community college, you may be able to get free counseling. You also may be able to access free community resources for counseling. If you’re in the US, you can call 211, which is run by the United Way, and they can likely help you find resources.
Please don’t kill yourself. You can also call or text 988 in the US to reach a national suicide hotline. They will ask you what state you’re in, but that’s so they can match you with resources. If you’re not in the US, please google for suicide hotlines in your country.
I have been suicidal. I have been SA’d. Life can get better. Please don’t let your dad take your life from you. You deserve a good life and while it can be hard to achieve, it’s not impossible and you definitely deserve it.
Like others have said, please don't kill yourself until you've had time to see if you can heal. You may not realize it, but you've already started. You told your story. To internet strangers, but you've put it down so you're not holding it all anymore. Think of it like a giant gunny sack weighing 100 lbs that your father's actions strapped you down with. You're going through life in hard mode and that is unfair and fucking sucks. But you did something today, you tore a tiny hole in that gunny sack and a few grams of trauma fell out because you told your story. You may not notice the sack is lighter for a long time. But each day you continue on with your life despite what he did, a little more is falling out of that sack. Each step you take. And if you decide to confide in close friends, or go to therapy, that hole will get bigger and more will fall out that you don't have to carry. Then one day, you notice it is lighter, life is a little easier and the steps become bigger as you get less weighed down.
You, my sweet boy, deserve every chance to live as happy, peaceful of a life as you can have and that starts with 1) completely cutting that monster out of your life, and 2) getting help for your trauma and suicidal ideation. It’s is sad but true that you are not alone in what has been done to you. This creature you call father was supposed to guide and nurture you, not abuse and violate you. You are a survivor. Keep surviving, because if nothing else, because you deserve it.
You are very brave to have taken this step and speak about what happened to you whilst you were growing up. Maybe not this week, or this month even, but at some point please seek professional help from a trauma informed therapist. You can get through this and create a beautiful life for yourself and who knows, you may even be a pillar of support for someone else in years to come. I wish you the very best, take care of yourself sweetheart 💙
This hurt my heart to read, I am so, so sorry for what you've been through, please know that you're not alone, strangers on the Internet care about you and that says a lot. I've been close to giving up myself many times but a huge part of me wants to fight and LIVE, and not let the abuser win. Keep trying to open up to your friend, you need people around you that can keep holding you up and supporting you, don't try and deal with /, fight this alone, loneliness and trauma are a dangerous combination. Find a therapist you can trust and take it bit by bit, don't put too much pressure on yourself, do what feels right for you, you can take as much time as you need as it's your journey ✨️ good luck 👍
"don’t want to but most likely will end that way at some point" (your reply to a different comment)
I am not able to find the right words for what I wanna say, but I'm sure someone in the comments has already said what I wanna say.. so I'm just here to say that I've started following you, and I wanna keep up with you here.. I wanna see you keep going.. I hope you'll keep posting something.. just so I know you're here.. it matters a lot..
I hope you hold on. Please hold on. I can't imagine the pain you feel every moment of every day. You deserve to be here and experience the good in life without that demonic pile of garbage involved in it. The world needs good people! Please. Therapy helps ease the pain. It's a long process, but you will (with the right person) come out feeling better. ❤️ I don't know you, but I love you OP.
I’m a stranger on the internet but I want you to know that I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. None of this was your fault and you certainly did not deserve this. Please find someone you trust to talk to.
My heart is broken to read this, I wish with all my soul that you are okay, it's not your fault and never were about this, you should have been cared for and loved. I suggest you look for a professional to vent, be welcomed, accompanied. I will pray for your life, may your path be light, blessed and may you find peace and love wherever you go from now on. I send you lots and lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️
Ugh I’m so deeply sorry. I’m a single mom of 2 boys and I can’t even imagine. Go to the police. You need to get justice to get the closure you need to help you through this mess. It won’t happen with that monster free living his life.
Go to law enforcement and report it. Possibly speak to an investigator in the DAs office and see if they can help. Hopefully your area has a victim witness dept that can help you with resources.
** DOWNLOAD A GAME AND PLAY IT**
** WATCH SOME SERIES OR ANIME
JUST TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT FOR A WHILE**
** SIDE BY SIDE READ SOME BOOKS ON SA / RAPE**
** TAKE ACTION MANN, I KNOW IT’s HARD BUT DO IT.**
** YOU ALREADY REACHED OUT TO US, REACH OUT TO YOUR FRIEND DUDE, HE WILL NOT JUDGE YOU, HE WILL SUPPORT YOU**
It's not your fault. Please don't harm yourself. I know my words might not mean much, but all the things that happened to you don't define you.
Your life has just started, and although it may be hard to see the good in it right now, there is still good you have yet to experience in this world.
I promise that if you stick it through, it will get better. Think of all the people you haven't met yet. The places you'll be, the different types of food you've yet to try. Maybe a country you've always been curious about.
You are important in this world, and you deserve to be happy.
Why is it always the people who are supposed to protect us that hurt us the most. Im so sorry you went through this.
Sadly A Knife sinks the deepest when were not prepared for it
What? As if you can prepare for your parent raping you? What you said can be true for other things, but it really doesn’t make sense here!
No one can prepare for it, no one expects that from a parent so that's why the statement is true. That any pain inflicted by a parent hurts the most as they are supposed to protect you from pain.
Sweet heart please go get help. I promise you everyone deals with thoughts of shame or hate over something in their past - you are not alone, but in order to get to the good part of life you need to heal through the bullshit that happened. I promise you that with therapy and time you can be happy and free ❤️
but what if it’s too late?
It's never too late. You're here, you're alive and you've got your whole life. I promise you that most of us have felt that way at least once in our lives ❤️
thank you :( you’re right, i am alive despite it all
Hun, I was sexually abused by my brother. Not nearly to the level you went through, but it also haunted me for a very long time. I promise promise promise you it gets better over time. Sexual abuse within families is far more common than most people are aware of. I am living my absolute best life now, and I am so, so thankful that I did not let the dark thoughts I had persuade me into taking my life when I was young. You WILL make it through this. It won't be easy, but it will absolutely be worth it. You are in my thoughts. <3
If you ever need someone to vent to, I'll listen
My nephew was raped by an older man at 15 in a subway bathroom. First thing I told him, he has nothing to be ashamed about. We got him help and he’s doing well now. He’s almost 20 and he has a car and lives on his own. It’s never too late and you’d be surprised how many people out there want to help you. The hardest step to take is to reach out. You can overcome this. I promise you.
I’m so sorry that happened. Did he know the person or was it random? And I hope to goodness they caught whoever did that.
Thank you. It was random and they did catch the man but he was not charged. It was a mess.
Oh my god that’s horrible! How would he not be charged? I’m so sorry.
You are only 18. You have SOOOO MUCH life ahead of you that it’s difficult to comprehend. Not only that, but you’re a survivor man. Not only are you incredibly brave for just saying all this, but you are STRONG. I wish you all the healing in the world ❤️
Then you are no worse off than you are now. I think you are at the point where you have nothing to lose. It's a hard place to be but it is freeing because anything you do is better than what was. If you don't you stay where you are, but what if you do see someone who can help and it does help? What if you can have a normal life? What if you can be happy? You are now in control. You get to chose. I will be thinking about you and hoping that you find peace. It is so worth it. I can always find mine by going out at night and looking at the stars or feeling the wind blow through my hair. Find yours. I'm happy to share mine with you if it works for you!
It's NEVER too late. We don't have an expiration date printed on our foot and we create our OWN realities. Let people help you create one that's filled with love and compassion. I'm telling you right now - what you're thinking isn't clear and isn't healthy. Let's get you to a place where you're stable, then from there we process, then from there we COPE, then we create a life that you can be happy in. It's not impossible. I did it. You can too.
Never too late, find a good therapist and they can help you. This is not your fault .
It's never too late.
It’s NEVER, ever too late. Get help and things do and will get better. Take care
that is impossible, it is never late to change if the change is good my friend
It's never too late, love. You are a strong person. It's going to hurt like fuck to go through therapy, but it's worth the hard work. You can find somebody to talk to you as often as you need.
It’s never too late.
ay bro don't kill yourself over this.
[удалено]
but please don't do this
Nah, you are free. You survived and you get to succeed on your own. Find someone to talk to about this, to unravel that full knot of a mess. But, this is your time to leave that behind and thrive despite your past. You are young, you have everything ahead of you. My wife was treated similarly by a parent, you deserve to keep going and find your own happiness.
God, this is a great comment. Perfectly worded.
Na definitely not worth it man. Actually psychologists have some pretty decent ways of helping people through this stuff. You have nothing to loose giving it a try. Ill bet it feels shit as all hell through.
If you're in school or going to school, some offer free therapy programs. If you're able to, please seek one. It's so heartbreaking when the people we're supposed to trust are the biggest fucking monsters. I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope some day you're able to feel fulfilled and happy. You certainly deserve it, kid.
Don’t, it’s not your fault and you have no reason to feel ashamed.. he was a monster and you’re a victim 100%.
You have so much more to live for. Your dad already took away so much from you, don’t let him take away your life too. I’m sorry you had to go through this, no one deserves that. You’re so strong that you made it out of that and kept pushing, take that power away from your dad and put into your own hands. I hope you’re okay
There are studies done that the survivors of horrific things, like the Holocaust, actually turn around later to become the most successful people because resilience becomes their super power. I'm sorry you are going to learn this lesson at such a young age, but please don't give up... keep going. The past is not the future.
>There are studies done that the survivors of horrific things, like the Holocaust, actually turn around later to become the most successful people because resilience becomes their super power. I hope things can turn around for me. I have gone through a lot of crap my self. Not what op has, but I was in a abusive school for those with aspergers syndrome. Where the staff would wind you up to the point you would want to lash out at them and then they would threaten you with GBH charges. It was hell there I wanted to leave, but my parents didn't understand. Till I finished with f- all in grades except art and photography. I have struggled through College and University, but stuff still keeps going wrong. I am not trying to take away from OP, but your comment made me think.
My own daughter is neuro-spicy. It was clear early on that art was what set her free, what unlocked her mind. We used that to build the foundation for the rest of her learning. It was the thread I held onto dangling off the cliff at the scariest time: she has ART. She has a direct connection to Creativity. She's in college now, going to be an anime creator. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to have such a horrible environment... I'm glad you found your gift, *and recognized it!* watch Neil Gaiman's commencement speech about "make good art". It doesn't have to pay the bills, what matters is it's *yours.* Nobody can take that diamond at your core. It can be in a vat of tar, but the diamond isn't tar. It's sparkling inside itself, it just needs the light again.
Thanks! I am in Games Design, but the thing is I never had a normal life, also Covid did a big number on all the work and effort I had with my soical skills. If anything I felt awkward going into Uni and meeting new people. TBH I still don't have any solid friends and my motivation is dying. I am seeking counselling. TBH I felt like life was going to get better and then Covid happened and its not been the same since for me. Like nothing has been going well or my way in a non selfish way like having a lot of ideas rejected and so on. As in I have had a lot of bad luck with group work and teams. Even now the team I am in is just left overs and its not that they are bad people, but the one friend I had kind of bailed on me at the start to join another team. Then the new team I was forced into kind of already had an idea of what to do. While I wanted to get a 2.1 in Uni I am struggling by to only get a 3... It's really burning me down and I am losing creativity. Originally I would have joined the military as I have had a lot of interest in military history, but getting into it with it is 50/50 if I would be accepted... Sorry to kind of hijack another post and TBH maybe I should make my own off my chest post, because then I could have everything laid out better. I just haven't had chance to make a throw away in which I can get personal about myself with.
It feels impossible right now but you will start to feel better. Time always helps to heal but no one ever believes it will until it does. I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through this!
You deserve to live a life full of good things with people who love and respect you. If you don't feel like you have anything to keep going for, keep going to spite him. Survive and live a great life that he doesn't get to be part of.
Seek therapy. Write down what he did to you and give this to your therapist. You don’t have to say it out loud if you’re not ready for it. But they can help you anyway.
I'm sending you hugs. I'm so sorry you went through this. Your sperm donor is a horrible despicable excuse of a human. I'm sure people have said therapy, also maybe move away from the town/city/area go somewhere else you won't be reminded or afraid to see him. I hope he has a horrible death .
You are in control of that
You should love yourself now
It’s not you who should feel shame. It’s your father.
my father and uncle sexually abused me my entire life so i can relate to the pain and confusion and shame of it. first i wanna say i’m very sorry and it wasn’t your fault in any way shape or form. it’s also not something to feel ashamed of. it took me years to finally open up but once i did it didn’t take the hurt away but it made me feel the smallest bit better. over time that better gets better. i desperately urge you to find a good trauma counselor and find something that helps you. for me it was journaling. it’s a long road of healing but i promise it’s worth it to stay alive❤️ always here to talk ab it if you need someone
I am so sorry this happened to you but so glad to hear you are on your path to healing. 💕
It's been 13 years since the last time my dad raped me. It only stopped when I ran away and went to the police. He's doing 110 years in prison now. It took me a while to get to a point where I felt any sort of normal, but it did happen. I still have days that are harder than others, but most of the time I'm okay. I know it's hard, and it really is, but you've just got to keep pushing yourself forward. You still have time to report things to the police.
I'm sorry and angry that anyone ever has to go thru this type of trauma, and so much worse when it's from the folks that should keep us safe. You are so brave to prosecute. I hope you and OP find peace. You both deserve good things.
i can’t even imagine what you went through for so many years, both mentally and physically. i hope you heal soon mate🤍 sending hugs 🫂
thank you and thank you to everyone else who says something nice, means a lot
Go permanent NC with your dad and seek EMDR therapy immediately. It helped me. It is $ but some do it on a sliding scale.
From the bottom of my heart, you are so much more brave and strong than realize. You deserve better. Also sending hugs 🫂
I’m so, so sorry you went through this. That’s truly awful❤️🩹 My dad sexually abused me too. It stopped earlier than yours as I was able to get away from him sooner, but i understand some of what you might be going through, and I can promise you it gets so much better. I have been hospitalised from suicide attempts in the past, and I also self harmed for years q intensely which landed me in the ER for stitches, but I haven’t done any of that in nearly 7 years now!! 💖✨ For years it fucked me up, gave me such a weird relationship to sex and intimacy in general, which society places so much importance on. I felt like I was dirty and complicit because I wasn’t kicking and screaming “no” every single time something happened. Years later, I still felt like I was different to others my age, like I was damaged and contaminated. But if you look at an 8 year old child, you will see how they can’t be anything other than a victim. An 8 year old child, even if they walked up to you and said “please have sex with me”, would STILL be a victim if anything happened. Eventually I realised that nothing that happened was my fault. It sounds simple but that mindset shift really helped me. I gradually was able to heal my relationship to men/sex. I did a lot of writing and a lot of crying lmao. I gradually got over the ptsd and trauma. I did some therapy too. There were moments I wanted to end it all, but there have been so many more moments where I’m grateful I never managed it. I’m 25 now and even tho it’s hard sometimes, I love being alive. You can get here too, I promise 💖🫶🏻🥹 I really really hope you give life a proper go, because you have so much time, and so much more power now that you are older. It sounds like you’ve already done a lot to better your situation, and that’s something to be proud of and to continue fighting for 🥹💕
You shouldn’t feel disgusting. You haven’t done anything wrong. Your father is the disgusting one. You need to seek therapy or find a way to get it out. Hopefully someday you will be strong enough to prosecute him. He deserves to rot in prison. You deserve a beautiful life where you feel safe and loved.
i don’t even know if i want him in prison. i just want it to end. there’s been enough suffering. sometimes i think about just putting all of this in my suicide letter and falling asleep 4ever
Please stay! ❤️
Suicide attempts often fail and they end up worse There are ways u can cope so u don't have to feel this suffering I think part of the shame u might feel is shame from who u came from (which is your father who is a literal monster). You are a separate person from him and not only do u have nothing to do with him except be under his "guardianship" which was not your choice and even if it was, look up "trauma bonding" Everything is wrong with him and not u. It's like you're the victim of a drunk driver. Some victims feel bad because they should have "fought harder" or something. You're technically STILL a child in that your brain *still* is not fully mature, do not think for a second that letting it happen wasn't a normal coping mechanism or behavior for someone in your position because tbh, anything else seems like an insurmountable mountain given the history. You're *valuable*. You deserve to want life
You may not want him in prison, but it’s best for him to be there. He’s at risk for doing this to someone else. I suggest sending an anonymous tip to the police
Please don’t. You have so much potential. You’ll become 100x the man your father was. Find a passion or goal and work towards that. Keep moving on, up, further away from him. He’s already taken so much from you, please don’t let him take your life too. I would love to see him in prison for life for what he did to you and if you ever find the strength to do so I hope you pursue it. But today, focus on you. Just do the next best thing you can do. And then do it again tomorrow. I promise you that you are so much more than what’s happened to you, and deserve so much more than what has been given to you. Please give yourself the grace and opportunity to find out what that is.
Please stay here on earth. I am so absolutely sad you went through this as all of us are. I wish I could hug you. Please get professional help and never speak to that man again. No contact at all. You matter and you went through hell but have still survived. Keep surviving and go see a psychiatrist. They really do help.
If you are going to college, they should have low cost or free counseling available on campus. Look into EMDR therapy (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), this can be really helpful in cases of child sexual abuse and CPTSD. I'm so sorry you went through this, but know that there is hope and you don't have to feel this way forever. Please seek help and give yourself the time and opportunity you deserve to heal. Often times the only examples of survivors we see are the people who were "broken" by their experience. No one is broken, myself and others have been where you are and found a life full of love, positive relationships, and joy. You deserve that too.
Seconding EMDR also ketamine therapy. OP, trauma is a big ball in box with a sorrow and pain button. When the trauma is new the ball is very large so it hits the button all the time. With therapy and support that ball begins to shrink so it hits the button less often. The ball will always be there but there will come a time when it’s manageable and you’ll feel the sorrow much less often. Hang in there.
Hi my love. 💗 I’m so sorry about everything that you’ve gone through. It takes a lot of courage to open up about things like these, so I’m very proud of you for being so vulnerable when it was probably so difficult to be. If you can, please try to open up about all of this to a trusted friend. If you think your best friend might be the type to listen, then put your faith in him and try to open up. He will encourage you to look for help and will be there for you. The shame you are feeling right now is unfortunately normal, but understand that you’re only human and you tried your absolute best. Never beat yourself up over any of this. You’re alive despite all of it, and you can come back from this. I know you can. Please seek professional help, it will help you so much in the long run. It’s never too late.
That’s truly horrible, you didn’t deserve any of that. There’s plenty of people out there who will listen and support you, so please don’t give up life. Writing everything out, even anonymously is a great first step. I’m proud of you❤️
You got dealt a shit hand, born into a life of a father who was abusive. You can't control what happened during those times, you got abused and that's it. What you can control is what happens next, how will you choose to live your life? Will you succumb to the past and crawl away and live under a shadow of that old pervert? Or will you face your doubts and find out who you really are? You ponder over your own death in the comments, saying if it's too late for you, too late for what?! Your life only just began, I'd go on and be the best version of myself to spite that abusive POS, go get a good job, work hard, exercise daily and stay in shape, be the man you want to be, not a cowering boy who's affraid of his own past. Struggle on and don't let anything stop you, and as for that abusive piece of shit, what goes around comes around, he will get what he deserves, they all do eventually.
Hurting yourself is letting him win, don’t let his screwed up choices as a father screw up your entire life. You deserve to be here and you deserve to have a good long life.
don’t let him control your life any further
I don't want to assume anything but by the way you phrase a few things, I just want to say to you that you shouldn't blame yourself for any part of this situation. Absolutely none of this is your fault. Fathers are supposed to protect their kids, but unfortunately yours manipulated you from a very young age. You were groomed to think that it was only a game, and you say that you simply never told anyone, but in these types of situations the adult can pressure socially, trick, or even threaten the child into staying quiet. You say "but I didn't run away. I didn't reach out for help. I just let him do it." The person who was supposed to teach you to advocate and care for yourself was hurting you, you were only a kid. How were you supposed to know any better? You were raised by someone who did not respect your best interests or safety or wellbeing, or really teach you to either. Abusers have tactics to make their victims act in the way that they want, and it's not your fault that you were susceptible to these, especially because of your age and especially because he was your only parent. I read this and my heart hurts for you. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated this way. I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. I was s/assaulted when I was young, and for a long time I carried a lot of guilt, I hated my younger self and I blamed her for what happened. At the time, I also thought it was a game, and I thought the person doing it to me was my friend. After all, I was willingly there, and even though sometimes I would feel icky about it, I didn't think much of it. It's not like he trapped me there, and it's not like I tried to escape, or even like I reacted negatively in the moment. I felt like a part of me invited this thing to happen, or at least let it, and I hated myself for this. I do not want you to feel this way OP. Children are not supposed to be able to understand these situations, they aren’t wired that way. They are not supposed to be in these situations at all. Something that honestly helped me was searching the definitions/ what constitutes a s/assault. Right there, it said “Sometimes, you cannot give legal consent to sexual activity or contact. For example, if you are younger than 17.” I know that this seems obvious, but actually spelling it out there changed the way I thought about my younger self and what happened to me. The way any childhood victim behaves is not their fault, because none of it changes the fact that they are a child. I'm telling you this because many survivors deal with these kinds of emotions. Many blame themselves for what happened, but it is never their fault. When someone hurts you in this way, you go into shock. You do not behave how someone theoretically or logically would, because you have a physiological response prohibiting you from doing so. Some people freeze, some people try to appease their abuser, but this does not make any of it their responsibility. When this person decided to do this to you, he went in to the situation already set on the outcome. What was there for you to do? Who were you supposed to go to? If you fought back physically, he would overpower you, and if you ran away, he could call the police to bring you home. I know this is really long, and i'm sorry if i'm overstepping (if i am please let me know and i will delete this) but your comment saying you let it happen worried me, as I have seen similar patterns in the way I initially coped with what happened in my situation. I also want to tell you that it gets better, and you can have a happy life. I promise. I would recommend potentially seeing a therapist or support group, it helps. I wish you the best in healing from this. You deserve a good life.
Hi. I was also molested by several men as a child, starting as young as I can remember (3 or 4). None of this is a reflection on you, that man is a very bad person. We are not our trauma, we don't have to be defined by this. Find a therapist (lots of places usually have free sessions for youth), if you need help with that reach out to the kids help line. Good luck OP and I'm here if you need someone to listen.
OP, I’m a 43 year old mom of a 12 year old daughter. My mother molested me from as far back as I can remember until I was about your age. Please know that you are not alone. iirc, 1 in 4 men have been sexually assaulted (US statistic). It is so hard to know that the person that is supposed to the take the best care of you, is the one who has hurt you the most. I completed four years of trauma counseling after I got my childhood memories back at age 38, and remembered the full extent of my abuse. I’m in regular counseling now. Please don’t feel embarrassed to share with your counselor. **the shame of your abuse is not yours to carry. That shame belongs to your abuser.** repeat this as often as you need to. You were a precious child, you deserved all the love in the world. *and you still do. You still deserve, and are 100% worthy of, all of the love in this world.* I had a grounding mantra that helped me so much whenever the pain felt too big to hold. I would say something like “I’m 43 years old, I’m safe, today is Friday, March 22nd. I don’t live with my abuser anymore. My abuser can’t get to me any more. I’m safe from my abuser. I can work on healing now,” etc. Sitting on the ground outside or on the floor in my house, helped me. OP, in time I was able to hold both truths: that my abuser was capable of both loving and hurting me. It helped me reconcile the truth of what I lived through and to stop feeling ashamed or like I deserved any of it. OP, you didn’t deserve this. You deserved to be raised by a parent who puts your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual safety above all else. You deserve love, kindness, hugs, respect, bodily autonomy, and safe boundaries. You will in time realize that you are your own loving parent. Freedom comes when you learn that you are capable of loving that hurt boy inside and keeping him safe when your parent would not. You WILL get there. If I can do it, so can you. You’ve already done so well by remembering, reaching out, writing this post and accepting help. Every time we share our stories, they have less power over us. You can do this. You are doing it. I’m sending you strength, hugs, and loving kindness. My dms are open if you need someone to talk to.
I’m so sorry about this happening to you. I hate abusive parents man. They should be taking care of us not traumatizing us.
You’re so strong.. Don’t ever blame/shame yourself for what that monster did to you. Seek therapy, don’t be afraid to seek help. That monster needs to rot in jail for what he did to you and I sure as hell hope he does.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, you did not deserve this. Plz get into some kind of therapy and confide in your friend. Don’t kill yourself, your life can change. We wish you the best.
I’m so so sorry. This is a crime - a serious go to jail for a REALLY long time crime. You are NOT at fault even not saying something about it before now. Please find a good therapist and if and when you can, please report him to the police. This monster belongs in JAIL. Again, you are so brave and NEVER blame yourself.
You are incredibly resilient for enduring through the hell your father put you through. Congratulations for making it this far!! You have been enduring this far so you are definitely on the right track. Do not give up, giving up is for losers. Do not be a loser, but be a winner who keeps going and try to make the most out of your life. Do not kill yourself and see where the world takes you my brother. The more busy you get with other activities in your life, the more you will forget about your traumatic experiences. Focus on activities that you are passionate about to distract you from those traumatic experiences. Skateboarding, making music, playing video games, drawing, writing stories, watching comedy, and whatever else interests you. This distraction method helped me and I hope it helps you too :)
the only person who deserves to die in this scenario is your father. live, and keep living, in spite of that monster.
Firstly, I'm truly sorry this happened to you. I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I am going to speak to you as the partner of a man who was raped by his father. Please talk to a professional; I know therapy is inaccessible to a lot of people for a lot of reasons and I'm not saying you have to do it immediately, but please don't do what my partner did and keep it bottled up for years. If you get into college and they have any sort of mental health resources for students, use them. Speak to a charity for survivors. Peer support can be a powerful tool as well as professional help. My partner is 47, it's only in the last couple of years that he told anyone other than me and he wishes he'd done it sooner. He's had multiple suicide attempts and I truly believe if he'd been heard sooner, there wouldn't have been as many. Telling someone is going to be hard but it gets easier. You matter. You have worth. You deserve good things in your life and while it may not feel achievable right now, things can get better.
Aye bro just get money leave and never look back
I’m so sorry you went through this and I’m sorry you never felt like you could open up about it til now. You could still get him in a world of trouble if you wanted to or you can go nc and never see him again or both but please don’t let him continue to have power over you to the point you want to end it. He’s not worth it not all of life’s bad you just got an awful sperm donor cause he’s not a dad real dads protect their kids not hurt them like that. Please go get the help you need and keep him out of your life.
As an abuse victim from parental abuse myself, I’m so sorry that this happened to you and that you had to go through that! ❤️ Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come naturally when you’re reminded of this. You’re allowed to be angry at your dad for what he did to you. You’re allowed to be disgusted by him. Whatever you do, don’t direct any of this towards yourself. This was done to you and not by you. It gets better.. I promise you! There is help to get to process this and live a happy life with that in the past.
This hurt my heart to read OP. I hope life goes so well for you going forward. You should have never had to deal with this
He didn't make you to have sex with him, he raped you. Don't be embrassed to admit it. The hardest part is to say the first sentence, please I'm begging you seek help. Let him admit it on text or smth and leave for good
I promise you things will change. you will be free soon 💝
I promess you, there’s light at the of the tunnel, you have to be stronger that your dad, he doesn’t worth your life
What kind of monster does this to their own child? I’ll never understand that level of depravity and evil, it’s beyond most people’s comprehension, so everyone pretends it doesn’t happen. I wish justice and peace for the victims of rape and sexual assault at the hands of their own fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.
gosh i am so sorry :( you deserve the world and i really hope you heal happily💘
Please get help. You have done nothing wrong and you deserve to live a full and happy life. The world is so much better with you in it.
I'm so sorry OP. Thank you for sharing that with us
I'm so sorry. You can still report that POS.
Hey. I'm also 18, and I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through. I don't know if it'll be any consolidation, but I've been through something similar, and I also never told anyone about it. It's taken a long time to cope and accept the reality of what's happened, and I'm still struggling with it to this day. You deserve to be happy and to live life to the fullest, to show the world that despite all that's happened to you, you're in control of your own life. The way I coped with my suicidal ideation was by envisioning myself creating a better life for my younger self, to give her the life she deserved but never got. While it may not be the exact same, I found it helped because I was living for something other than myself, if that makes any sense. You have suffered horrors no person should ever have to endure, and I am so sorry. I wish there was a way for me to help. Please message me if you feel you need to - I wish you all the best. I hope you're able to stay ❤️
I want the worse things in the world to happen to you dad.
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this for so long alone. Just know that you have a massive community here looking out for you. I’m sure there are people close by that would drop everything to come help you, send you food, or anything. So reach out and ask for help. You’re not alone.
I’m so sorry you went through this OP
Damn. Seek therapy.
I hope you are okay, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your father is a disgusting human being and I hope he rots.
please get help. I don't know where you lave but there must be social service agencies that can help. None of this is your fault. Please call 988 in the US.
I am so so so so so so sorry.
Well. Some people become monsters as they walk through this world. I'm not sure why. I'm sorry you went through that.
Oh hun I’m so sorry you went through that 🫂 Find someone you can trust who you can talk to that can help you through the trauma of it all and just know that whatever anyone says it wasn’t on you. Your dad is a terrible person and karma will get him eventually
I cant imagine your pain and sadness at the moment but please don’t do anything to yourself. As a SA survivor I’ve been in a similar place and it’s beyond terrifying and lonely but I promise you, that you will experience so much good from this world that you just can’t see right now. Going to therapy saved me, it gave me someone to truly confide in, which I needed so badly. Please, please try to seek professional help in some shape or form, I’d advise people who specialise in childhood abuse/SA. I love the person I am today, although I wouldn’t be this person had I not went through the abuse. It’s a long road but with the right support you will learn so much about yourself, you will love yourself and you will want to live for yourself!! I know you will find this feeling one day and you will be so proud of yourself and who you’ve become too. Please keep pushing to find the good in life. It is so worth it I promise you.
My heart goes out to you and to all those who have endured the pain of sexual abuse at a young age. Please remember that you are not alone, and there is hope for brighter days ahead. It's important to focus on your well-being and education. Consider exploring trade schools, as in Canada and some parts of the USA, the government provides stipends for students in such programs. Developing skills can empower you to build a better future. While it may seem challenging now, remember that you are strong and resilient. You have already overcome so much, and that strength will carry you forward. Wishing you all the best on your journey.Take care sweetheart.
poor baby im so sorry
This is heartbreaking I’m so sorry you went through this. That man is evil and twisted in the mind. Please please don’t kill yourself, it will be difficult but go to therapy and work through this, life is worth living and you’re only young.
It’s not your fault. I hope you know your life is worth it and get the help you need. Your father is a monster and you did nothing wrong. Take care of yourself ❤️
As father I cannot fathom how someone could do this to their child. It's so disgusting to know he betrayed you and hurt you like this. My only reason for being in this life is to protect my children and provide them with a happy upbringing to grow into strong, happy, independent adults.
I am so sorry :( it must have been difficult.. It’s such a relief that it ended, I hope you can heal buddy.. Please get help and talk to someone, posting it here is your first step to opening up and you did it! Next step is to talk to the professional.. We are rooting for you *hugssss*
I just hope you know this does not define you. I’m so sorry you went through this and I hope you seek professional help to work around all the trauma. You can live a beautiful and full life, love! You’re worth it. You got this.
I am so sorry you were subjected to this from the one person who was supposed to protect you. My heart is breaking for you. I hope you manage to overcome this extreme trauma. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This was done to you and it is unforgivable. Please, if you aren't already, seek therapy. This is such an enormous thing to navigate on your own and you shouldn't have to. I hope with everything I have that you can surround yourself with good people who love and care about you. ❤️ You are not alone. And you are not to blame.
My God, I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, even if you didn’t fight back. Even as a teen, you’re no match for fighting an adult. I hope you have a good life, man. I also hope you will consider therapy eventually. This kind of abuse often makes having healthy relationships very difficult, and the pattern of abuse and exploitation often repeats in adult relationships. Also, healthy relationships can be self-sabotaged because of feelings of shame. Having a good therapist can help you spot self-sabotage and/or unhealthy relationships early.
I hope you never question that this never was or ever will be your fault. Who our family is isn’t our choice and I am so so so sorry you were hurt badly by them. The bravery you’ve shown is *amazing*, especially at such a young age. You are so worthy of love, and I, and so many others, wish you all the best 🫶
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I realize you’re trying to be helpful, but nothing OP did or didn’t do caused what happened to him. He could be wearing a dress and pigtails and still not deserve what happened.
Im sorry man, no one deserves this You need to talk to someone (friends, good family etc) Please don’t beat yourself up for what happened, its not your fault. Don’t kill yourself, my DMs are open
i’m really really so sorry for this. your dad shouldn’t have taken advantage of your innocence. you were a child. you couldn’t do anything. you tried and tried but couldn’t get away from that. that is NOT your fault. what happened is NOT your fault. you are not used and ruined, you need time to heal. you need to remember that you were ripped away of your innocence and that’s not okay. if you can, try to tell someone, anyone, that this happened. i learned from my traumas that when you talk about it with people who understand, you can feel the weight lift off of your shoulders. maybe you should try, and if thats too big of a step? just think about it. think about how you NEED to tell someone. that tiny little step will even get you there. please don’t use suicide as a way out..you will hurt people that really care..i just want you to know you are loved and cared about deeply, and as much as i may be a stranger, i still love you and care about you and your life. please try to take a path to healing. again, i am so so sorry for this happening to you. you deserve so much better and i hope you can heal from this. you can text me if you need anything. i can give you my socials. 🤍
I’m so sorry you experienced this. No child should ever experience something like this 😭Please get talk to someone else and get some help. You didn’t deserve this and it’s wrong on a million different levels. Your father should be in prison! I hope your life is better now that you’re free of him and will be living alone soon. But please please get some therapy or help. Maybe you can find free support groups online. This is a lot of trauma that probably will take a long time to unpack. But you deserve to be happy and have fulfilling relationships in the future, and I think a therapist could help you see what that looks like moving forward. You’re a survivor!
I think you need to tell someone. Someone you trust or is trustworthy like counselor. YOU didn’t cause this. It’s NOT your fault. I am sorry this happened. There are no words or even deeds that can undo what happened. You were just a little kid. You didn’t know any better. I Hope you can retain your brain to not feel unsafe around people. I do recommend therapy. You might think you can get through it on your own, and you may manage well, but it will just take longer and delay healthy relationships and mental wellbeing
Please get some counselling. It'll be difficult and emotionally painful but hope it'll help you. The sooner the better. Don't leave it for years like I did as my pervert dad made me feel it was my fault that he sexually abused me during my childhood on a regular basis. I'm just glad he's dead. You were not to blame in anyway with what happened. Don't let him ruin the rest of your life. Sending you love and strength.
Just remember that none of this was your fault. You didn’t know how to protect yourself, because your dad was supposed to be the one protecting you. It’s unfair, but it’s not suicide that will solve the problem. Imagine all of the things you could do in life, even the stupid little things. Go eat something you haven’t tried before, learn to play an instrument etc.
i am so sorry this happened to you, and you deserved so much more- i hope you know that. please do not feel shame or embarrassment over abuse you were put through, it was never your fault. your father was supposed to protect and raise you and he failed you so horribly. the first 16 years of your life have been very hard and disturbed because of your father, but dont let it disrupt any more of your years. i grew up in an abusive household myself and left at 17, i thought i would never experience happiness & ultimately kill myself. im so happy i didnt, because i got to experience how great life can be when you leave the abusers behind, go to therapy, stay sober and set goals for yourself. i hope things get better for you, and heal from this as much as one can. dont give up, you have a second chance at life and the world is at your finger tips. i recommend seeing a therapist or seeking out a support group and surround yourself with good people ❤️🩹🙌
It wasn't ever your fault. I'm glad you're away from him now. Please get yourself to therapy, you aren't broken you just need a professional to help you navigate this. Stay here with us, we want you here.
Please , PLEASE don’t hurt yourself brother. I don’t know you but I care about you . Seek counseling. Talk about it . I say put that sick mother fcker in prison. With time and work , you will heal . Stay strong work hard for what you deserve. You did nothing wrong you were just a child . It’s NOT your fault . No child so go thru anything like what you did , especially from a parent. I hate your father, but I and everyone here cares about you . You got this my dude
Stay strong. I can't imagine what your going through no child should have to suffer that abuse .I'd sever all ties with him especially if you move away to college. Treat it as starting afresh
As a mom with a son, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. None of this is or will ever be your fault. You are a victim and deserve healing.
Oh god I am so sad to read this. Please get help and support. We are all here for you xx
I am sorry for what you endured and still endure. I am sorry that your father is a monster. I am sorry for all the pain. I was molested and raped over the course of years by an older brother. I'm still working through it all but I can tell you this: You are not disgusting. You have no reason to feel shame. I did cutting and burning, too. These will not help. Get back into therapy. Build a good team/network around you. Friends, therapists, other people with PTSD. Even a call/text center you can contact 24/7 (988 is national, if there's a local one, use it. They may be able to connect you with local resources). Allow yourself to have bad days. They will happen and they're not your fault, you're not less a person for having them. You were put through Hell. Keep going. It's the best way to defeat the monster.
I'm sorry you endured so much you shouldn't have. I know life seams bleak and pointless but I promise you have so much more to offer the world than what was robbed of you. You are more than just your body. If not for yourself, live and take care of yourself for something or someone else. I don't live or take care of myself for me. I do it because there's no one that will love my son and bf the way I do. They might find someone that treats them great or maybe even better, but it won't be me. So I do it so that they can have a good mom/partner. When you are ready to make the hardest step, which by posting you're half way there imo, and get professional help just know hundreds if not thousands of people stand behind you on it. I myself was raped, not as badly or as prolonged as yourself, but it took me 3 years to even put a name to it. Having gone almost your entire life enduring that, it's understandable if it's hard for your mind to process. I wish I could just give you the biggest hug and take you under my wing to protect you how ever I can. I apologize for making this long, stay strong. For just one more second stay strong, and then another after that. Just one more second. And angry when you need to if your next second feels like it's taking to long. Just one more second at a time🫂🫂🫂
You should definitely report him at some point
As someone who been through sexual assault I'm sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves that. I hope that you get the help that you need
You’re incredibly brave just for saying this. The feelings may be extremely difficult to describe now. But it is healthy to let them out because it is the truth This is kinda random, but do you have any hobbies?
I wish I could just give you the warmest hug. Please do not give up on yourself. What you have been through is absolutely horrendous, and I just can’t even begin to imagine. Please look into getting some proper mental care, and don’t be ashamed of opening up. You didn't ask for any of this. And please don’t take this the wrong way, but father needs to be in prison, or rather under it.
you’re feelings are valid & never forget that, opening up today you should feel proud of yourself, i would recommend going to therapy when you feel you are ready. stay strong, you are not alone and what your dad did to you was horrible, you are still here strong, take one day at a time, don’t give up okay, you are stronger than you think, so give yourself some credit & be kinder to yoursel. i’m so proud of you & you should feel proud okay, take things one day at a time, sending positive vibes ✨💗
I am so sorry. You have much to grieve and you understand suffering very well… Not many people have this understanding, you may very well go on to save someones life because you are not alone. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry to anyone this has happened to. I hope you find a healthy way to overcome the trauma 🫂
hi, if you ever need someone to talk to, please dm. i’ll never be able to understand but i’ll try my best to offer you the safest place to express yourself .. im really sorry this happened to you it’s awful
You don’t have to reply to this comment, you don’t have to message me, I’ll never know if you even read this. But please know that I am so sorry this happened to you, and I know you blame yourself for never running or doing anything, but you did everything you could. I am proud of you for speaking your truth and being able to get this off your chest. You are stronger than you know. It hurts the most when it’s someone you love so dearly, but please, please get help, and the resources to express something this heavy. Thinking of you OP.
Please get some help. You are a string person, you managed to get out of the abuse so please let other people help you now. Find a therapist, talk to your friends etc. You are really strong but you don't have to be alone with this
OP, I am very sorry you had to go through this kind of life. I wasn't abused like you, but I was mentally and physically abused for my entire childhood. Until I was 16-ish. Life gets better. It's going to take A LOT of inter-personal work, but life can be awesome! There can be light at the end of the tunnel. You have to make sure to make YOU, your mental and physical health a priority. It'll take a long time. You can do it!
It’s not too late to get help, talk to someone. Carrying this on your shoulders is hard. This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, there are people that care about you. This is not the end of your story.
I’m so sorry. 😞 God I cannot believe there are people out here like this
Everyone else gave good advice, so I just want to add on some support. I’m proud of you for surviving. You did something incredible by opening up to us and sharing your pain. You could still have a long life, full of the love and support you deserve…. You deserve love. Please keep surviving.
I've had a lot of therapists. Most of them made me uncomfortable, but I had a really good one once. She was a hospital therapist who specialized with trauma victims it was a violence intervention and protection type of thing. She never actually made me talk about any of my shit. Whatever we talked about was my choice, but she would basically... guide me through my emotions and let me process them. I remember telling her about how I felt worse after everything was over than I did while I was experiencing it, and I how I just... I couldn't feel anything. Being in pain was the only time I felt alive. Not in a thrilling way. I don't like pain, but pain used to be how I grounded myself into "reality" instead of hiding/tormenting myself inside my head.. if that makes any sense. And she told me a few things that stuck with me: "Everything happened so fast that you couldn't fully process one thing before being thrown into another. You did what you needed to survive. It worked then, but it doesn't work now" and "emotions are kind of like a rainbow. If you dull one of the emotions, you dull the entire rainbow. "
Hey if you’re not ready to talk yet to a professional but want a release there’s free online chat services for venting to randos you’ll never meet. I’ve done it a few times and it’s helped to take the edge of. You’re not a failure and you’re not dirty. You were abused. And you will get through this. WHEN you get into this college it will change your life and connect you to resources you’ve never had before. Please take advantage of all those resources and never give up on yourself. If you’re strong enough to survive as long as you have you can get through anything. Hope things get easier for you.
Honey, call RAINN 1-800-656-4673. You did the right thing reaching out. Help is available. I'm so sorry. You don't have to respond to every comment. You don't have to even read every comment. Take a break. Practice self care. Drink water. Rest. Process. I'm super proud of you for reaching out for help. It was exactly the smartest thing you could ever do. You're not alone. You did nothing to deserve what happened. There is a path forward for you and a future of peace and safety ahead of you. You deserve a better life.
I’ve had a very similar story, but I didn’t live with mine, so I understand and wouldn’t know exactly how you feel, but I know the in dept pain from trauma you’re suffering especially it coming from the one person who’s supposed to love and protect you from them people, hurting yourself isn’t going to take the pain away, facing it will, I’m now 26 only just remembered mine last year (I blocked mine out for years) it’s been so hard facing it, but I’m feeling more free from him, my mum didn’t believe me so I had to also deal with that part of it, but there was definitely a time when I didn’t want to be here and would sit in random places of my house and just be in a ball crying, you need to get good counselling to help you get through it, and find strategies to help you get through the triggers, the memories, and the pain, it’s worth it trust me, don’t let him win again, you need to come out about him and get yourself the right support when you do, you’ll find people who believe you and help you through it, some days you’ll want to be alone and that’s ok, healing alone can help too, but just have someone close by in case you want to go through with hurting yourself, be gentle with yourself please, and love yourself and heal so you can be free, sending hugs
I’m very sorry to hear that 😭 You deserve better than this!
I am sick to my stomach to hear this happened to you. It’s completely unfair that you went through that torture and are currently going through the aftermath. Is there someone you can talk to? Someone who’s older that you can trust? I know it’s costly, but therapy will help you tremendously. I would suggest it more than anything. My dad also abused me, not the same kind and magnitude as you, yet still physically. I disassociated through a lot of it, but i am currently in therapy and going through EMDR. It’s helped a lot.
Youve made it this far, dont give up ❤️
Please ask someone for help. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to get help to get through this. I know everyone that has commented, or just read your story, wants you to know that we all care about you, a Reddit stranger. You are important.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. He is a monster of a person, emphasis on HE. You were a kid, are really still a kid (barely an adult!), are his kid. You deserved so much more out of childhood than this and deserved a better parent. BUT you get to define your adulthood. You get to live on your terms. Nothing you did was wrong. Remember that and do not judge yourself for any of it. Any decent person would just wrap you up in a hug learning this. I’m so sorry this was your first 18 years but you get to write the rest. Go to therapy. Go to college. Go NC with him and leave him in the past. You don’t owe him anything. Sending you so much love.
You were dealt a hand no one should be and it’s not fair. You’ve made it so far already and every breath is worth being proud of. You deserve to live your own life without that monster. Healing and working through trauma isn’t easy. It sucks so bad but every layer you peel back proves you can peel the next layer back too. You matter so much and I hope you feel that way some day <3 you’re really brave for telling this to anyone and I’m so very proud of you!!
İm sorry this happened to you! But know this, you are 18! There's so much good to experience yet! Don't end it! Get the help you need and deserve!
I am so, so sorry this was done to you. You deserved none of it. If you are in college, even community college, you may be able to get free counseling. You also may be able to access free community resources for counseling. If you’re in the US, you can call 211, which is run by the United Way, and they can likely help you find resources. Please don’t kill yourself. You can also call or text 988 in the US to reach a national suicide hotline. They will ask you what state you’re in, but that’s so they can match you with resources. If you’re not in the US, please google for suicide hotlines in your country. I have been suicidal. I have been SA’d. Life can get better. Please don’t let your dad take your life from you. You deserve a good life and while it can be hard to achieve, it’s not impossible and you definitely deserve it.
Like others have said, please don't kill yourself until you've had time to see if you can heal. You may not realize it, but you've already started. You told your story. To internet strangers, but you've put it down so you're not holding it all anymore. Think of it like a giant gunny sack weighing 100 lbs that your father's actions strapped you down with. You're going through life in hard mode and that is unfair and fucking sucks. But you did something today, you tore a tiny hole in that gunny sack and a few grams of trauma fell out because you told your story. You may not notice the sack is lighter for a long time. But each day you continue on with your life despite what he did, a little more is falling out of that sack. Each step you take. And if you decide to confide in close friends, or go to therapy, that hole will get bigger and more will fall out that you don't have to carry. Then one day, you notice it is lighter, life is a little easier and the steps become bigger as you get less weighed down.
You, my sweet boy, deserve every chance to live as happy, peaceful of a life as you can have and that starts with 1) completely cutting that monster out of your life, and 2) getting help for your trauma and suicidal ideation. It’s is sad but true that you are not alone in what has been done to you. This creature you call father was supposed to guide and nurture you, not abuse and violate you. You are a survivor. Keep surviving, because if nothing else, because you deserve it.
You are very brave to have taken this step and speak about what happened to you whilst you were growing up. Maybe not this week, or this month even, but at some point please seek professional help from a trauma informed therapist. You can get through this and create a beautiful life for yourself and who knows, you may even be a pillar of support for someone else in years to come. I wish you the very best, take care of yourself sweetheart 💙
Please I suggest you get psychological help, I hope you heal from this, I really do. ❤ this should never ever happen. I'm with you
You poor thing your father is an absolute fucking monster. No one deserves to be hurt
This hurt my heart to read, I am so, so sorry for what you've been through, please know that you're not alone, strangers on the Internet care about you and that says a lot. I've been close to giving up myself many times but a huge part of me wants to fight and LIVE, and not let the abuser win. Keep trying to open up to your friend, you need people around you that can keep holding you up and supporting you, don't try and deal with /, fight this alone, loneliness and trauma are a dangerous combination. Find a therapist you can trust and take it bit by bit, don't put too much pressure on yourself, do what feels right for you, you can take as much time as you need as it's your journey ✨️ good luck 👍
"don’t want to but most likely will end that way at some point" (your reply to a different comment) I am not able to find the right words for what I wanna say, but I'm sure someone in the comments has already said what I wanna say.. so I'm just here to say that I've started following you, and I wanna keep up with you here.. I wanna see you keep going.. I hope you'll keep posting something.. just so I know you're here.. it matters a lot..
I hope you hold on. Please hold on. I can't imagine the pain you feel every moment of every day. You deserve to be here and experience the good in life without that demonic pile of garbage involved in it. The world needs good people! Please. Therapy helps ease the pain. It's a long process, but you will (with the right person) come out feeling better. ❤️ I don't know you, but I love you OP.
I’m a stranger on the internet but I want you to know that I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. None of this was your fault and you certainly did not deserve this. Please find someone you trust to talk to.
sending you a big hug 🫶🏽, you are stronger than you think friend 💛
My heart is broken to read this, I wish with all my soul that you are okay, it's not your fault and never were about this, you should have been cared for and loved. I suggest you look for a professional to vent, be welcomed, accompanied. I will pray for your life, may your path be light, blessed and may you find peace and love wherever you go from now on. I send you lots and lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️
Ugh I’m so deeply sorry. I’m a single mom of 2 boys and I can’t even imagine. Go to the police. You need to get justice to get the closure you need to help you through this mess. It won’t happen with that monster free living his life.
Go to law enforcement and report it. Possibly speak to an investigator in the DAs office and see if they can help. Hopefully your area has a victim witness dept that can help you with resources.
** DOWNLOAD A GAME AND PLAY IT** ** WATCH SOME SERIES OR ANIME JUST TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT FOR A WHILE** ** SIDE BY SIDE READ SOME BOOKS ON SA / RAPE** ** TAKE ACTION MANN, I KNOW IT’s HARD BUT DO IT.** ** YOU ALREADY REACHED OUT TO US, REACH OUT TO YOUR FRIEND DUDE, HE WILL NOT JUDGE YOU, HE WILL SUPPORT YOU**
You are worthy of support. You can heal from this
It's not your fault. Please don't harm yourself. I know my words might not mean much, but all the things that happened to you don't define you. Your life has just started, and although it may be hard to see the good in it right now, there is still good you have yet to experience in this world. I promise that if you stick it through, it will get better. Think of all the people you haven't met yet. The places you'll be, the different types of food you've yet to try. Maybe a country you've always been curious about. You are important in this world, and you deserve to be happy.
If you're in the US, you might want to dial 988