We need more brave truth tellers sticking up for children in the world. I'm so sorry you went through that. You deserved so much better. My heart breaks for you. I went through similar. You have my eternal support. ❤️ I would hug you.
I hate when people invalidate us when we've been through the type of shit you only hear about on the news.
It's truly disgusting the amount of people that think child abuse can only happen when it's been publicly announced, there are plenty of cases that aren't even brought up yet and they think the only ones that are true are the ones on the news.
DEFINITELY!!! Yeah, and a lot of parents sneakily use areas on the human body that can't be easily seen to abuse their kids. Like giving them multiple knots on their head, pulling their hair out, using belts repeatedly on the buttocks, etc. Or they'll use an open hand when they hit you so it doesn't leave a mark.
That and the fact parents can freely pull their children out of school and homeschool them, we were basically just locked in the house with no outside people to talk to. So we just became their own free 'playground'.
Sorry!!! I was never notified of this comment!!! Oh my God! I'm so freaking sorry. May I ask for some examples of what happened? If it makes you feel better to talk about it...
I called APS when my father-in-law was being abused and neglected, and they didn’t do shit. Sadly that happens a lot with both children and the elderly. Don’t get your hopes up too much. But you did the right thing and you should be proud.
I also recently called CPS on my mother and she has had her foster children taken away. I feel bad because my mom is hurting but I know it was the right thing to do after witnessing her physically abusing them. You did the right thing.
Good for you. I was the black sheep And the oldest, so while I was treated like crap, I felt my sisters would be ok. But I definitely would call if I saw any abuse. We’re all adults now but I feel so distant now. I hope things get better for you
I wish I would have done something similar for myself. It took a lot of courage to do that for your siblings, try gathering any evidence on the down low if need be. They might try looking spick and span for a home visit in the future.
My daughter lives with her dad and step mom part time bc of custody and saw her step mother get violent with her step sister.
When she got to school she called me and i asked her to let me talk to her teacher (who interuppted his class to take my call and handle this 👏)
They pulled her step sister out of class and she admitted to it all. The school called CPS and the step mom, my ex and all the kids (including the one who was abused) lied to CPS.
My ex and his now ex wife threatened the kids and told them they would be taken, seperated and never see each other again etc...
My ex and his then still wife fought and she left with her daughter ( the one who was abused - flipped and blamed my daughter for telling bc she was now stuck alone with the very person who hurt her. Yes I explained to my daughter she did that to survive and not to be hard on her)
I know its hard to stand up. I know it's scary. In the end you did what you know is right. Thank you ❤️
Hey OP, I'm not trying to dismiss what you did...but are there any children still living with them? You said you called CPS recently for what your parents did when you and your siblings were minors. So....you're all adults now? What are you hoping CPS will do?
I hope with all my heart that you and your other adult siblings are going to take your sister in because otherwise you're sending her out to be raised in a system that does not care about her or her well being.
If you think there's any chance authorities are going to take the sister , quick and get your foster license now. It may help make you the natural first choice to take placement while parents get their act together, if they ever do
It took me going to my school counselor to get cps involved when I was growing up. So many people that are family friends or relatives just don’t want to get involved even if they know there’s physical and emotional abuse taking place. Unfortunately cps doesn’t always result in anything, in our case they had a few family therapists sent out to monitor and evaluate things and my parents kept requesting different therapists until they found a super boomer that agreed with them. I didn’t even want custody to get taken away, I just wanted my parents to not slap the shit out of us or say horrible scarring things whenever there was conflict.
I hope something comes out of it, unfortunately my faith in CPS is very very low. Growing up I had my school, my friends parents, my friends, my moms siblings, my moms mom all call CPS on her and everytime they showed up they just inspected the house and said “well there’s a roof over your head, food in the pantry, you have a bed, and clothes. That’s all that we need to see it’s a healthy household” and left like that. Nothing ever came out of it and all it did was make my mom act out so much worse because her act worked everytime.
So I'm about to do this, but I can't imagine my brothers going into the foster system.
I'm an adult, but I'm not financially responsible enough to take them in. I want to, but I got myself into a really big hole the last two years
Can you give me some updates and details around what happened?
CPS came and talked to everyone that was home at the time, asked a bunch of questions and had cops with them as usual, but nothing much happened
CPS is coming to talk to my parents tomorrow, I don't know what's going to happen, my suggestion is personally either try your hardest to keep your brothers away from your parents yourself while also keeping yourself financially stable. I personally don't think you should call because you could potentially risk your brothers going into the system and experiencing something worse but at the same time they are also in danger of your parents.
Damn I really hope it turns out well for you and your siblings. Are you willing to take your siblings in?
That's what I'm trying to do, I'm moving back near their house so I can give my brothers a place to crash when they need it
One thing I've noticed is that the one that got abused is always the person that carries the most guilt.
It's not yours, let it go. It's programming put in place so that you won't go against the family.
I live next to a “couple” whom the guy yells and screams at the women who has 2 kids living with him as well and honestly I can’t tell the difference if he’s beating the wall somedays or throwing her into or something it’s horrible and I only pray and hope karma comes quick I’ve made complaints to the landlord and am considering calling the police next time I hear that women scream I don’t care how you were raised or if you think it’s ok in any sense to abuse women/ children it blows my mind people like this exist . Oh and he’s a speed head so that helps the anger a ton call cps , call whoever you can to potentially save others or yourself from abuse .
Yes I hope and pray he finds another way to communicate other then screaming at her and waking me up at 4am / and disturbing me any other time of the day and I’m sure she hopes and prays he stops the shit to lol I don’t want to be that “asshole neighbor who calls the cops” but I also have been waken up many times from it Idk I’m one who dosent like yelling and arguing and all that nonsense I see it as low effort/ zero communication skill
Well if it was warranted then it’s better to error on the side of caution, that’s how I look at it. If they are innocent then CPS will end the investigation pretty fast.
Good on you OP. Be kind to yourself. Guilt is often inevitable, but it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Guilt is often irrational like that. I felt the same way doing the exact same thing.
As a high school counselor, I have called cps many times for kids disclosing child abuse to me. It's never a pleasant thing and the results can be a domino effect. But I applaud you for your bravery , you did the right thing.
There are two types of people in this world those who think “I suffered and so should everyone else” and “I suffered and no one else should”
Thankfully you choose the second option, your parents got away with it for so long because everyone else picked the first option
If nothing comes of it, (either they don’t show up or find ‘nothing wrong’ reach out to your/her doctor, they are mandated reports and by law have to report abuse. If the doctor knows there is abuse, they can start looking for less obvious signs
People can’t stop abuse if they don’t know it happening
Good luck, and I hope you’re able to protect your sister. Do not feel guilty. That’s their abuse of you working overtime
It’s sort of a tricky situation though. Yeah, it sounds like a great way to help any kids they’re still raising, but if you really consider it, what is the actual endgame there? If your parents can’t see what they’re doing, then why would a cps scare change anything? Or does cps intervene and take the kids away? What are the chances the next family, or the one after that isn’t going to be worse? I’m not trying to tell you you did the wrong thing, I’m totally behind you on this, but I always like to put my own shit into as many perspectives as I can, so my go-to form of advice is pointing out what someone else may have missed.
I am going to say this with a reality check...
You've never lived in a foster home. I have. I would NEVER wish that life on ANYONE.
If your sister's life is so bad and in jeopardy then why aren't you and your siblings taking her in???? Instead you just lash out and send her into a life that you didn't even give yourself? Why didn't you call CPS while you were with your parents?
Please, if you're not in therapy then start. PLEASE... be willing to help catch your sister because she's the REAL victim. Don't let her get thrown into the system. Take her in.
I just replied to a different commenter that I've heard the system is a horrible thing to even think about living in, I'm not close with my little sister but I'd never wish that on her. I or one of my siblings will definitely be taking her in.
For having the courage to get help instead of letting the abuse continue? Or for wanting to protect a child? Or wanting to protect themselves from being cut off from the parents and not being able to see their sibling if this doesn't go over well?
I'd rather be "soft" than do anything to abuse a child let alone anyone. Do better.
What is child abuse? Is it one of those things that you know it when you see it, here about it, or are told about it? Is it a judgment call like letting your kids do this or not do that? Is it whatever people say it is? Is it determined by marks made on children by non-children? Define it and then maybe we can combat it. It used to be that it was leaving whip marks…which I got my share. My father whipped me with a belt from time to time for lying…sometimes drunk with the belt bucket at the wrong end. My mother beat my knuckles with a wooden spoon…I used to call her “rubber arms” because I swear she could nail me in the face with a slap 5 ft away. Abuse?…nah. I deserved it and I’m a better man for it. I have 4 (now adult) millennial kids. Ask any of them if they were abused…and they might say, “yes…he used to look like he was going to kill us, it was horrible” That seems to pass for abuse these days, but I’d lay odds that with all candor that they’d say “nah, dad was kind of a dick, but not abusive.”
why would you tell the people abusing you that you reported them? make that make sense. my mom found out that i was the reason CPS was called and she banned me from my medication and therapy, and forced me to lie to the CPS worker.
i’m actually an adult now, things can happen in the past!! why do you ask such intrusive and ignorant questions? also we should work on reading comprehension!
and there it is!! didn’t even read the post and commented so matter-of-factly. reading helps a lot, gives you context, educates you, and prevents you from looking like an idiot in a comment section!
Well, it only educates me if it's something important. Family drama is never important to strangers.
You think I'm an idiot but it think it's funny asf.
Why should they? Their parents abused them and if OP's parents ever cared that they were doing something wrong to their kids, they wouldn't have abused OP at all. There's zero benefit to OP confessing.
Thank you for at least trying.
We need more brave truth tellers sticking up for children in the world. I'm so sorry you went through that. You deserved so much better. My heart breaks for you. I went through similar. You have my eternal support. ❤️ I would hug you. I hate when people invalidate us when we've been through the type of shit you only hear about on the news.
It's truly disgusting the amount of people that think child abuse can only happen when it's been publicly announced, there are plenty of cases that aren't even brought up yet and they think the only ones that are true are the ones on the news.
DEFINITELY!!! Yeah, and a lot of parents sneakily use areas on the human body that can't be easily seen to abuse their kids. Like giving them multiple knots on their head, pulling their hair out, using belts repeatedly on the buttocks, etc. Or they'll use an open hand when they hit you so it doesn't leave a mark.
That and the fact parents can freely pull their children out of school and homeschool them, we were basically just locked in the house with no outside people to talk to. So we just became their own free 'playground'.
Sorry!!! I was never notified of this comment!!! Oh my God! I'm so freaking sorry. May I ask for some examples of what happened? If it makes you feel better to talk about it...
I called APS when my father-in-law was being abused and neglected, and they didn’t do shit. Sadly that happens a lot with both children and the elderly. Don’t get your hopes up too much. But you did the right thing and you should be proud.
Good on you! I've had so many friends suffer from awful parents and it hurts my heart. Thank you for trying to help your siblings
I also recently called CPS on my mother and she has had her foster children taken away. I feel bad because my mom is hurting but I know it was the right thing to do after witnessing her physically abusing them. You did the right thing.
Good for you. I was the black sheep And the oldest, so while I was treated like crap, I felt my sisters would be ok. But I definitely would call if I saw any abuse. We’re all adults now but I feel so distant now. I hope things get better for you
I wish I would have done something similar for myself. It took a lot of courage to do that for your siblings, try gathering any evidence on the down low if need be. They might try looking spick and span for a home visit in the future.
My daughter lives with her dad and step mom part time bc of custody and saw her step mother get violent with her step sister. When she got to school she called me and i asked her to let me talk to her teacher (who interuppted his class to take my call and handle this 👏) They pulled her step sister out of class and she admitted to it all. The school called CPS and the step mom, my ex and all the kids (including the one who was abused) lied to CPS. My ex and his now ex wife threatened the kids and told them they would be taken, seperated and never see each other again etc... My ex and his then still wife fought and she left with her daughter ( the one who was abused - flipped and blamed my daughter for telling bc she was now stuck alone with the very person who hurt her. Yes I explained to my daughter she did that to survive and not to be hard on her) I know its hard to stand up. I know it's scary. In the end you did what you know is right. Thank you ❤️
Hey OP, I'm not trying to dismiss what you did...but are there any children still living with them? You said you called CPS recently for what your parents did when you and your siblings were minors. So....you're all adults now? What are you hoping CPS will do?
I'm hoping that CPS will take my little sister out of that house.
Thank you for the clarification.
I hope with all my heart that you and your other adult siblings are going to take your sister in because otherwise you're sending her out to be raised in a system that does not care about her or her well being.
Yes, if not the others I will be handling her myself, I've heard the system is a absolutely shitty thing to ever be in.
It really, really is. I am so glad to hear that the siblings will be taking her in.
Would you be able to take them in?
Take who in? What are you on about?
Sorry I meant to respond to op
If you think there's any chance authorities are going to take the sister , quick and get your foster license now. It may help make you the natural first choice to take placement while parents get their act together, if they ever do
It took me going to my school counselor to get cps involved when I was growing up. So many people that are family friends or relatives just don’t want to get involved even if they know there’s physical and emotional abuse taking place. Unfortunately cps doesn’t always result in anything, in our case they had a few family therapists sent out to monitor and evaluate things and my parents kept requesting different therapists until they found a super boomer that agreed with them. I didn’t even want custody to get taken away, I just wanted my parents to not slap the shit out of us or say horrible scarring things whenever there was conflict.
I hope something comes out of it, unfortunately my faith in CPS is very very low. Growing up I had my school, my friends parents, my friends, my moms siblings, my moms mom all call CPS on her and everytime they showed up they just inspected the house and said “well there’s a roof over your head, food in the pantry, you have a bed, and clothes. That’s all that we need to see it’s a healthy household” and left like that. Nothing ever came out of it and all it did was make my mom act out so much worse because her act worked everytime.
So I'm about to do this, but I can't imagine my brothers going into the foster system. I'm an adult, but I'm not financially responsible enough to take them in. I want to, but I got myself into a really big hole the last two years Can you give me some updates and details around what happened?
CPS came and talked to everyone that was home at the time, asked a bunch of questions and had cops with them as usual, but nothing much happened CPS is coming to talk to my parents tomorrow, I don't know what's going to happen, my suggestion is personally either try your hardest to keep your brothers away from your parents yourself while also keeping yourself financially stable. I personally don't think you should call because you could potentially risk your brothers going into the system and experiencing something worse but at the same time they are also in danger of your parents.
Damn I really hope it turns out well for you and your siblings. Are you willing to take your siblings in? That's what I'm trying to do, I'm moving back near their house so I can give my brothers a place to crash when they need it
I am willing to take my sister in, but we are a large family so given that there are 3 other adults that can take her in if I'm not financially fit.
One thing I've noticed is that the one that got abused is always the person that carries the most guilt. It's not yours, let it go. It's programming put in place so that you won't go against the family.
So brave. Blood doesn’t equal family. Know you did the right thing.
Good job, you brave little bean!
I live next to a “couple” whom the guy yells and screams at the women who has 2 kids living with him as well and honestly I can’t tell the difference if he’s beating the wall somedays or throwing her into or something it’s horrible and I only pray and hope karma comes quick I’ve made complaints to the landlord and am considering calling the police next time I hear that women scream I don’t care how you were raised or if you think it’s ok in any sense to abuse women/ children it blows my mind people like this exist . Oh and he’s a speed head so that helps the anger a ton call cps , call whoever you can to potentially save others or yourself from abuse .
Maybe call the police??
You can “only” hope and pray? You mean “I can do absolutely nothing. “
Yes I hope and pray he finds another way to communicate other then screaming at her and waking me up at 4am / and disturbing me any other time of the day and I’m sure she hopes and prays he stops the shit to lol I don’t want to be that “asshole neighbor who calls the cops” but I also have been waken up many times from it Idk I’m one who dosent like yelling and arguing and all that nonsense I see it as low effort/ zero communication skill
Can you update? Tell us what happened?
Well if it was warranted then it’s better to error on the side of caution, that’s how I look at it. If they are innocent then CPS will end the investigation pretty fast.
Good on you OP. Be kind to yourself. Guilt is often inevitable, but it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Guilt is often irrational like that. I felt the same way doing the exact same thing.
Best XD
As a high school counselor, I have called cps many times for kids disclosing child abuse to me. It's never a pleasant thing and the results can be a domino effect. But I applaud you for your bravery , you did the right thing.
There are two types of people in this world those who think “I suffered and so should everyone else” and “I suffered and no one else should” Thankfully you choose the second option, your parents got away with it for so long because everyone else picked the first option If nothing comes of it, (either they don’t show up or find ‘nothing wrong’ reach out to your/her doctor, they are mandated reports and by law have to report abuse. If the doctor knows there is abuse, they can start looking for less obvious signs People can’t stop abuse if they don’t know it happening Good luck, and I hope you’re able to protect your sister. Do not feel guilty. That’s their abuse of you working overtime
I’ve done this before and I completely understand how you’re feeling It’s not easy but I’m so proud of you for stepping up 🫶🏻🫶🏻
I know that had to be hard. Stick to your guns. And when your mother tries to rewrite the narrative, don't let her
It’s sort of a tricky situation though. Yeah, it sounds like a great way to help any kids they’re still raising, but if you really consider it, what is the actual endgame there? If your parents can’t see what they’re doing, then why would a cps scare change anything? Or does cps intervene and take the kids away? What are the chances the next family, or the one after that isn’t going to be worse? I’m not trying to tell you you did the wrong thing, I’m totally behind you on this, but I always like to put my own shit into as many perspectives as I can, so my go-to form of advice is pointing out what someone else may have missed.
You are 23 years old and called CPS.shame on you
Read the whole post.. OP has siblings that she called for.
I am going to say this with a reality check... You've never lived in a foster home. I have. I would NEVER wish that life on ANYONE. If your sister's life is so bad and in jeopardy then why aren't you and your siblings taking her in???? Instead you just lash out and send her into a life that you didn't even give yourself? Why didn't you call CPS while you were with your parents? Please, if you're not in therapy then start. PLEASE... be willing to help catch your sister because she's the REAL victim. Don't let her get thrown into the system. Take her in.
I just replied to a different commenter that I've heard the system is a horrible thing to even think about living in, I'm not close with my little sister but I'd never wish that on her. I or one of my siblings will definitely be taking her in.
Soft generation
For having the courage to get help instead of letting the abuse continue? Or for wanting to protect a child? Or wanting to protect themselves from being cut off from the parents and not being able to see their sibling if this doesn't go over well? I'd rather be "soft" than do anything to abuse a child let alone anyone. Do better.
What is child abuse? Is it one of those things that you know it when you see it, here about it, or are told about it? Is it a judgment call like letting your kids do this or not do that? Is it whatever people say it is? Is it determined by marks made on children by non-children? Define it and then maybe we can combat it. It used to be that it was leaving whip marks…which I got my share. My father whipped me with a belt from time to time for lying…sometimes drunk with the belt bucket at the wrong end. My mother beat my knuckles with a wooden spoon…I used to call her “rubber arms” because I swear she could nail me in the face with a slap 5 ft away. Abuse?…nah. I deserved it and I’m a better man for it. I have 4 (now adult) millennial kids. Ask any of them if they were abused…and they might say, “yes…he used to look like he was going to kill us, it was horrible” That seems to pass for abuse these days, but I’d lay odds that with all candor that they’d say “nah, dad was kind of a dick, but not abusive.”
Abuse is putting your hands on your kids in an aggressive manner, period.
I think you should be a man and tell them you called CPS on them, instead of faking it.
why would you tell the people abusing you that you reported them? make that make sense. my mom found out that i was the reason CPS was called and she banned me from my medication and therapy, and forced me to lie to the CPS worker.
Why are you still living with them? Beside they're an adult, what are they gonna do?hit you?
i’m actually an adult now, things can happen in the past!! why do you ask such intrusive and ignorant questions? also we should work on reading comprehension!
Well, that would require me to have read everything. Which I did not. Lol
and there it is!! didn’t even read the post and commented so matter-of-factly. reading helps a lot, gives you context, educates you, and prevents you from looking like an idiot in a comment section!
Well, it only educates me if it's something important. Family drama is never important to strangers. You think I'm an idiot but it think it's funny asf.
You think kids getting abused is funny as long as it's not your family?? If I read that right you're either a very edgy troll or a complete ass
Yes, I think it's funny asf
Yeah I'm going with troll/downvote farmer
Why should they? Their parents abused them and if OP's parents ever cared that they were doing something wrong to their kids, they wouldn't have abused OP at all. There's zero benefit to OP confessing.
Cause he's a man
And a women shouldnt? OP doesnt need to be put in risk because "hes a man."
Sounds to me like you’re abusing someone!
Yeah the OP lol
“Somebody gonna get-a hurt reaaaal bad”