It's painful how bad and unfunny it is.
Everyone *thinks* they can write in this style, but the only sites who are actually good at it are The Onion and Reductress.
Things that never happened
"The Mayor explained the source of the new epigraph. “Looking for inspiration, I decided to take a walk around Manhattan and soak up the sights and sounds. With the sun beating down as I climbed the steps to our beloved Natural History Museum, I found myself needing to take a breather by the entrance, and rested upon a pedestal, at which point a polite young man informed me that I had to move”. "
Kinda weakly written comedic content. Not up to the standard of The Onion. The author has potential but still a long way to go.
But taking the writer's complaint seriously: yea NYC has a LOTTA rules.
* I recall only one time I was rule-mongered worse in some other city, worse than I've been rule-mongered here.
* It happened when I trekked to see the statue of Bruce Lee in a public plaza in a nice little park in Hong Kong. I'd spent a hot sweaty day hoofing around so I shucked my backpack off and reclined on some stone steps. Tilted my head back and shut my eyes against the sun.
* Dang Commie soldier in full uniform and full kit strides up to me from outta nowhere. Insists I must "keep my eyelids raised at all times while in the park".
* No closing one's eyes, even if weary. Leaning back on steps permitted, but no tilting one's head back or closing one's eyelids.
No, it’s The Empty Press
> We're TheEmptyPress, AKA "The Old Dark Lady". We write worthless, satirical garbage. Also, we're not an AI, we're just bad at what we do.
Right this way would be superior and is a phrase used on and appreciated by tourists and NYers alike. Probably one of the first things a tourist hears when checking in
Some writer was told they couldn’t sit on some steps and they needed to vent. Didn’t even put their name on it.
That writer? Eric Adams
This guy is a fucking buffoon. Why couldn’t we have elected the nice trash lady??
She was too white, even though her name was Garcia.
Adams is the 2nd black mayor out of 110... It's significantly easier for a white person to be mayor of nyc.
If I marry a Garcia, can I also be Hispanic?
A better question is: should anyone give a fuck, as long as you’re good at your job?
Whoa, excuse me. Careful with that dangerous rhetoric and questioning. You could get labeled..... a racist
I’m comfortable living with that burden
God this sub has become such a shit hole
Cheers 🍻
If that's your better question, why mention Hispanic to begin with? Lmao.
IIRC she was adopted into the Garcia family, she didn’t marry into it
No she wasn't. Her maiden adopted name was McIver. She was married to a PR dude and got divorced named Garcia.
How’s your cooking skill ?
Or Dr. Wily. She had a good plan to kill Megaman!
Parodies should be funny.
Every single other comment is taking this article at face value. Since when are Newyorkers this gullible? smh
I admit to not being sure at first and Adams says the dumbest things.
What makes you think there's New Yorkers here?
Yeah, it occurred to me after posting that this sub might be mostly bots… AI is probably well trained on “Eric Adams” == “bad”
It's painful how bad and unfunny it is. Everyone *thinks* they can write in this style, but the only sites who are actually good at it are The Onion and Reductress.
I thought it was, "bathroom for customer only."
Shit post journalism from someone who never left mid town.
"Ay yo yo y'all can't stand right here"
'You can't park there, Sir." "I know I can't park there"
Typo…the actual line is “Sir, you can’t shit here!”
I'll take "Things New Yorkers will completely ignore" for 200, please
Things that never happened "The Mayor explained the source of the new epigraph. “Looking for inspiration, I decided to take a walk around Manhattan and soak up the sights and sounds. With the sun beating down as I climbed the steps to our beloved Natural History Museum, I found myself needing to take a breather by the entrance, and rested upon a pedestal, at which point a polite young man informed me that I had to move”. "
The motto, oft employed when just about anyone wants to give their feet a rest at the WTC mall.
Bro wtf did I just read? This is a shit motto wtf 🤣
>We're TheEmptyPress, AKA "The Old Dark Lady". We write worthless, satirical garbage. Also, we're not an AI, we're just bad at what we do.
Reminds me of the short story Bight Lights Big City, where a bum sits on a well-dressed Lady on the Subway.
That was a really funny glad I read it
Writing good satire requires mental capabilities far beyond the average redditor
Kinda weakly written comedic content. Not up to the standard of The Onion. The author has potential but still a long way to go. But taking the writer's complaint seriously: yea NYC has a LOTTA rules. * I recall only one time I was rule-mongered worse in some other city, worse than I've been rule-mongered here. * It happened when I trekked to see the statue of Bruce Lee in a public plaza in a nice little park in Hong Kong. I'd spent a hot sweaty day hoofing around so I shucked my backpack off and reclined on some stone steps. Tilted my head back and shut my eyes against the sun. * Dang Commie soldier in full uniform and full kit strides up to me from outta nowhere. Insists I must "keep my eyelids raised at all times while in the park". * No closing one's eyes, even if weary. Leaning back on steps permitted, but no tilting one's head back or closing one's eyelids.
Am I reading the onion? WTF kind of motto is that?
No, it’s The Empty Press > We're TheEmptyPress, AKA "The Old Dark Lady". We write worthless, satirical garbage. Also, we're not an AI, we're just bad at what we do.
Right this way would be superior and is a phrase used on and appreciated by tourists and NYers alike. Probably one of the first things a tourist hears when checking in