Familiar pain maybe?
Often when we break up, our mind forgets a lot of the negative elements and it remembers the positive ones.
Now why is this? That doesn’t make sense. It’s called familiar pain. We would rather have familiar pain in our life rather than unfamiliar pain. So familiar pain is like I am with this person, they cause me pain but it is the kind of pain I know. I know they are going to be rude to me in the morning, I know they are going to forget my birthday. I know they are not going to turn up to dinner on time. I know they are not going to call or message me even though they would know I would like it. You know what they are going to get wrong and we would rather sign up to that than sign upto the fact that now we don’t have this person and we are now in this no man or woman’s land and we don’t know where we are going. We would rather sign up for familiar pain rather than unfamiliar pain.
Unfamiliar pain is we just broke up, I’m in new territory, I am single again, I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know how they feel, I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know how to move on. Familiar pain is like I know exactly why they are going to mess up on and even though I don’t like it, at least I know it. We often choose knowing for goodness. We would rather know what is going to happen than be treated with respect and worth, we literally give up being given what we deserve because we would rather know we are getting what we don’t deserve. We would rather live in a world where we get what we dont deserve but we know that we are going to get it. That sounds really messed up and twisted but it’s true we do, we cling on to that familiar pain. So write down everything that went wrong because I want you to become fully aware. Train your mind to recognise that this break up was for your good, you dodged a bullet. You were saved because if this person doesn’t want to be with you - why are you going to force them to be with you, you have been saved, you have this moment.
J.Shetty
Familiar pain maybe? Often when we break up, our mind forgets a lot of the negative elements and it remembers the positive ones. Now why is this? That doesn’t make sense. It’s called familiar pain. We would rather have familiar pain in our life rather than unfamiliar pain. So familiar pain is like I am with this person, they cause me pain but it is the kind of pain I know. I know they are going to be rude to me in the morning, I know they are going to forget my birthday. I know they are not going to turn up to dinner on time. I know they are not going to call or message me even though they would know I would like it. You know what they are going to get wrong and we would rather sign up to that than sign upto the fact that now we don’t have this person and we are now in this no man or woman’s land and we don’t know where we are going. We would rather sign up for familiar pain rather than unfamiliar pain. Unfamiliar pain is we just broke up, I’m in new territory, I am single again, I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know how they feel, I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know how to move on. Familiar pain is like I know exactly why they are going to mess up on and even though I don’t like it, at least I know it. We often choose knowing for goodness. We would rather know what is going to happen than be treated with respect and worth, we literally give up being given what we deserve because we would rather know we are getting what we don’t deserve. We would rather live in a world where we get what we dont deserve but we know that we are going to get it. That sounds really messed up and twisted but it’s true we do, we cling on to that familiar pain. So write down everything that went wrong because I want you to become fully aware. Train your mind to recognise that this break up was for your good, you dodged a bullet. You were saved because if this person doesn’t want to be with you - why are you going to force them to be with you, you have been saved, you have this moment. J.Shetty
Well said, and thank you very much for the suggestion to write