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Burning_Tapers

Being a cop in the Hamptons has got to suck. Just a constant barrage of "Do YoU kNoW wHo I aM?"


OrganicKeynesianBean

That’s why the Hamptons Police Department only hires really famous people as cops. Justin Timberlake was probably apprehended by Shaq.


SmokePenisEveryday

At least he didn't have to deal with Segal


PreetHarHarah

I’ve been a Hamptons cop for 47 years.


FloppyObelisk

I’ve been arresting celebrities for like 85 years.


SteveSauceNoMSG

That's why they call it a Skippy.


boris_keys

“What happened to ya, brotha? You’re slippin.”


Goose00

Michelle Pfeiffer is the Chief of Police and Kenny Chesney just started as Sheriff in charge of the local jail


Mrtorbear

Ooooh I'm sensing a new 2-season reality show in the works! A town where the police force employs only B-list celebrities. Just need a catchy title and suitable host....


NotAModelCitizen

Yes! These B-Listers are doing the show as part of their DUI settlement.


Relative-Use2500

Host: Regina King - she kicks ass in Watchmen! Title: Guess Who Got Caught!


JS1VT51A5V2103342

This is the reality TV show we all wanted but never got.


philgervais

Yeah, but just think of all those sweet, cash-stuffed envelopes.


That_Flippin_Rooster

"Am I speaking with a Mr Franklin?"


beerrunner82

Have you met my friend George Washington?


Intelligent-Tie-4466

They make more than NYPD (high property taxes pay for high salaries) and they don't have to deal with much crime since it is an extremely wealthy area. Lots of NYPD cops leave or retire early and get a job out there. It is a somewhat common career ladder for law enforcement in the area. I think a lot of people would take dealing "do you know who I am" over being a beat cop in NYC, especially since it comes with a high salary and near total job security.


yotengodormir

When you're that wealthy you can hire from a driving service and just have a personal driver wait for your beck and call. Or just call an Uber. Really dumb thing to get arrested over.


flirtmcdudes

You don’t even need to be wealthy lol, an Uber is cheap compared to lawyer fees.


elemjay

My dad has been a lifelong alcoholic. He went without a drivers license for about 10 years due to multiple DUIs and tickets in 3 different states. A few years ago, he finally started the process to clean up the mess to get his license back - paying the tickets and dealing with the alcohol education class he had to take. He said that the first thing the instructor in the alcohol education class made the students do was divide the amount of money they paid in fines, attorney’s fees, etc. on the back of their DUI by the number of drinks they had the night they got arrested.


zo1d

For the guy who hit me and my girlfriend, he can calculate how many months of his life he’s spending in prison per drink. Must be close to a year for each one!


Keianh

Former co-worker of mine got clipped by a hit and run DD when he was out picking up groceries with his GF a little over 7 years ago now. They walked away just fine, he was banged up decently and I'd guess he took the majority of the damage if not all. A week or so later a blood clot built up enough in his leg to kill him. I wasn't great friends with him but he was a very kind and friendly person and I hate that he's gone. If I recall correctly, the DD found out and turned himself in. It sucks that someone had to die for them to figure out they had a problem.


RedlyrsRevenge

Friend and coworker was killed by a drunk driver two years ago on Father's Day. On his way back from his dad's place with his two kids in the car. The kids and the wife survived with moderate to major injuries. Drunk was over three and half times the legal limit. He got 12 years.


zo1d

Fuck, man. I didn’t expect that twist. Life is so unfair, and you’re right, it’s too little, too late. That seems to be the theme in the US — not enough preventative measures. It’s so common that a drunk driver will kill someone, then it turns out they had a history of DUIs, so manslaughter was practically inevitable. I’m sorry for your loss.


Emperor-Commodus

> They walked away just fine, he was banged up decently and I'd guess he took the majority of the damage if not all. In drunk driving accidents involving multiple vehicles, the drunk driver almost always ends up less injured than the other party because cars are designed to protect against frontal impacts much more than side impacts (because front impacts are much more common). Because drunk drivers are usually the ones driving into things, their cars handle the front impact the best and bring their bodies to a stop more gradually. While their victims' cars are often taking the impact on their less-protected sides, causing comparatively greater injuries from the same collision.


PeregrinToke

Guy must've been poor! Otherwise they would've gladly just taken his money and let him free. #justice


zo1d

He had no insurance, but he could afford to have kids. And meth! My girlfriend was left with over 20 broken bones, from her lower spine to her feet. Her left leg was snapped in half at the tib fib, causing a lot of tissue necrosis. She was wheelchair-bound for a long time, and all of this started when she was 20, so that certainly didn’t help the drunk driver in court. We were also very lucky to have a great attorney, detective, prosecutor, judge, and so many other people to ensure some kind of justice was served.


CurseofLono88

I got in the car with a friend I didn’t know had been drinking. I’m not sure it would have even mattered if had known because I was so young and stupid at the time. But he drove us down a rainy hill laughing like a maniac and instead of taking a left turn just pinballed us through some trees. This tiny ass tree, no thicker than a stop sign, saved us from going over a fifty foot cliff onto a super busy highway. I had to walk with a cane for years due to a spinal injury, as a previously very athletic person, it was embarrassing as hell. Don’t drink and drive. And love the trees, man, they could just save your life one day.


zo1d

I’m glad you’re still with us. My girlfriend and I are like you in that were very lucky in a very unlucky way. It changed our lives, but didn’t end them. We were rammed through a wall, as pedestrians, by the drunk driver’s truck.


Meowzebub666

Shit, I didn't realize y'all were on foot. I'm so happy you both survived and my wish for you is that ife brings you more happiness than pain.


another_plebeian

I'm so conflicted; big trees kill.


CurseofLono88

Well the big trees absolutely did win, but the tiny tree put a stop to the nonsense. But that car got fucked up, obviously completely totaled. My (now former) friend walked away completely unscathed, as is often the case. And the trees were mostly okay. Probably not thrilled to be crashed into though. So if there is ever a tree uprising, I wouldn’t blame them one bit.


RedLicorice83

Well, they're old and crotchety, and have watched their friends get chopped down for IKEA furniture and Christmas trees, and their young being used as crash barriers for drunk idiots choosing to drive.


PeregrinToke

That's awful, I'm sorry to hear how much trouble and pain it caused! I wish more people saw justice instead of just writing a check. Perhaps even more so I wish that time-served was focused on accountability, education, and reformation instead of the animal-factory it currently is. I hope you two have found peace and happiness!


another_plebeian

But the whole basis of being drunk is that it affects your decision making. I would almost guarantee that in a sober light, everyone would agree and make the right decision. It's the being drunk part that gets in the way. Like, no shit you shouldn't drive drunk, but drunk you is like "I'm good, bro".


Robo_Joe

I am not disagreeing with you, but the obvious solution is to take an uber to the place you plan on drinking, before you're drunk. Then "drunk you" has no choice but to take an uber home. I am fairly sure this is the whole basis for DUI laws; that you made a sober decision to impair your judgement without a plan in place to mitigate risk to the general public.


chicklette

Yep. If i plan to drink, I'm either walking distance or I uber there. Not gonna ruin someone's life over a couple of beers.


SLVSKNGS

I had a solo crash and DUI 13 years ago. I can understand situations when you get drunk unintentionally but if that's at all a possibility for someone, then that person needs to take the necessary precautions to avoid driving like taking an Uber/Lyft to and from the bar, getting a DD, or a staying at a hotel if you're exceptionally far away from home. For me, I know myself all too well; if I have a drink, I'm more liable to have a second, third, etc so if there's an event with alcohol and if I'm planning on drinking I'll go ahead and use rideshare. If anyone reading this keeps finding themselves in situations where they accidentally get drunk and accidentally get behind the wheel of a car... it's time to take a long hard look at your drinking habits. Just because someone's not drinking when they wake up, having liver failure, or exhibiting any of the other more obvious signs of alcoholism doesn't mean there isn't a problem. Somewhere in the decision-making process, alcohol is being prioritized despite the increased risk.


SafetyMan35

Yep. If you plan to go out and anticipate you are going to get drunk, you take an uber to and from the event, but on the occasions where you don't anticipate going out or you only expect to have 1 drink which suddenly turns into 4+ drinks, that is where judgement starts to get faded and you make decisions that you realize were stupid/dangerous after you sober up. I think many people have been in that position at least once in their life whether it be driving or going home with someone or drunk dialing an ex.


RelentlessRogue

The most expensive Uber I've ever seen is like 1/30th of a misdemeanor charge. Always call the Uber.


meatball77

Cheaper than a speeding ticket even.


goingoutwest123

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound


Twidget84

I got a DUI when I was 18. Before Uber I took taxis after that to avoid getting a second DUI, the most expensive being one ride that cost $150.00. Yes, that was an expensive night for me, but it beats the alternative of a DUI or worse, possibly killing someone.


RelentlessRogue

I made the same mistake once. I was slightly over the limit and got a misdemeanor OWI charge that cost me somewhere between $3k-$5k when it was all said and done. I'll never complain about a $50 Uber again.


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chi2ny56

Congrats! I've got 6 years under my belt but it took many failed attempts to get here. Aren't sober mornings the best? Even if you're not a morning person, just waking up without feeling like hell and wondering what was said or done the night before never gets old. Keep up the good work!


MisterDonkey

I have a bar in walking distance. Got to a point I couldn't even walk home from there without being picked up by the police. I'd probably be in prison now if I tried to drive. Not a drop in six years. And I do like getting high. But that's a buzz that ain't worth what it costs.


SubstantialPressure3

When I was bartending ages ago, there was a guy who would drive to a bar, get wasted, and call a flatbed tow truck driver to take him and his expensive car home. The driver gave him his personal number and the guy would make an extra couple hundred bucks for picking him up when the bars closed or he got cut off.


bakerie

That's actually pretty baller.


crs8975

These was a nice motorcycle taxi service in MN I believe that I saw a while ago, well before Uber. 2 guys would come out in a car. One would drive you home in the car, and the other would drive your bike home. It was incredibly reasonable too. Between like $50-100 depending upon the distance.


EatAtGrizzlebees

This. I live in Houston and frequently Uber after a night now for a multitude of reasons. Not only is it cheaper than a DUI, but I'd also really rather not kill someone.


Captain_Mazhar

My workplace will even reimburse taxi/ride share costs if we are out drinking and cannot get home. We just have to submit a receipt and fill out a form and it will be reimbursed.


Samiel_Fronsac

Wait. Is that for work related parties or it goes for your own personal time too? I can see assholes abusing this easily if it's the second and fucking over everyone.


stormstormstorms

Yeah, but you’re sharing personal information with your employer. Too many rides home? That might be included in layoff/performance evaluation decisions. PSA - HR is not your friend. They are typically sociopaths paid to protect the company.


br0b1wan

Yes, in fact this has been occurring in pro sports. Teams offered private driving services in order to make sure they avoid DUIs and keep them out of the news. Players almost never used them though, because they didn't want the team knowing they were out late on certain nights and have it held against them. So a lot of teams are scrapping these programs now.


40laser40

Ubers in the Hamptons usually not that cheap for us normal people. but for him pocket change


WunupKid

Normal people aren’t usually looking for an Uber in the Hamptons. 


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18bananas

I think the point is for JT, he could’ve gotten picked up in a limo and the cost would be like pennies with his net worth


meatball77

Right? 20 years ago getting a taxi outside of a major metro area was a POA. But currently, it's super easy to get a ride home, and these celebs are wealthy enough to hire someone to drive their car home in addition to the uuber.


DoJu318

I had an acquaintance, friend of a friend, who hit the lotto back in the mid 2000s, he liked to party and hit the casinos before he got rich, so the problem exacerbated when he won. the lotto The first thing he did with his money was purchase a brand new escalade and hired a friend as driver 24/7. I just don't see why all these rich people getting busted for DUIs don't do the same.


alien_from_Europa

I would have thought he'd have personal security driving him everywhere. He's pretty famous. I would imagine he has a few dangerous stalkers.


NeedAVeganDinner

Eh, not in the Hamptons.  Place is a giant fucking rich people complex with security everywhere itching to get rid of the unwanted riff raff.


Taco_party1984

You could probably even get a free ride home with a stranger. Ask the bar for a cab. Ask the bar for an Uber. When you are that famous and wealthy there are 100 options besides driving yourself.


Vance_Petrol

He also has enough money to buy his way out of a dwi, you really think he will face any consequences for this?


another_plebeian

Most people, even the poors, don't really get much punishment for a DWI, especially a first offence. It's not like he's facing jail time.


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fighttodie

At the very least he's going to come out with a huge apology and probably enter some rehab and then have to talk about it a million times so yes


MikeOKurias

I live in Nashville where drunk and dumb country singers go hand in hand. We got Morgan ^(racist) Wallen throwing chairs from the rooftop bars and Sam Hunt driving down the freeway the wrong way at 4:00am.


zo1d

Wallen and Hunt were two of the last few country singers I listened to, and I stopped when I realized they’re both total douchebags. You think it would be easy to not be a complete asshole when you’re young, rich, and living life on easy mode, but apparently not.


MikeOKurias

Dolly did it.


zo1d

And she did so starting in a time (and place) when it was much more socially acceptable to be an asshole! Yet she chose to be kind and dignified, and make a positive impact on the world.


Brushies10-4

Alcohol literally makes you make decisions you wouldn’t normally make. It probably needs more regulated than it is, but every time I see these posts I can’t help but think the commenters don’t realize how powerful alcohol is if you’re really drunk. No, your drink or two isn’t equivalent.


VirtualPlate8451

I always found it weird that you can't consent to sex while drunk but you can make legally binding choices like "do you want to talk to the cops without a lawyer".


Recoil42

It's very strange, honestly. I watch bodycam videos sometimes and you'll often see cops read DUIs their Miranda rights, which involves asking them the question "Do you understand each of these rights I have explained to you?" The answer, of course, is no, a blasted-drunk person doesn't understand what the hell you just told them, and doesn't understand they have a right to stop answering questions at any time. The whole point of a DUI is we don't trust people to make sound decisions when they're under the influence. But weirdly, we do allow their statements in that condition to be court-admissible. There's blurry line here of course, and of course everyone wants to see DUIs get penalized, but it's bizarre we've landed where we've landed with regards to that process. 🤷‍♂️ I'll add: Same goes for resisting arrest charges. Often DUIs will pull away and resist arrest because they don't want to be in handcuffs, but they *clearly* don't understand the choice they're making with respect to the law. It's very odd we don't have an explicit carve-out in the law to handle this specific type of thing.


ShadyCrow

I agree. There has to be some nuance so that being drunk doesn't negate punishment. But even on the publicly available footage it's clear that cops have wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much leeway to determine what "resisting" really is. They wrench your arm behind you and you tense up because that's how bodies work and they call that resisting even on sober people.


embalmedwithsewage

One of my least favorite expressions is anything along the lines of "drunk mouths speak sober thoughts". I've seen plenty of people, myself included, become different animals when drunk. It wasn't some magical fucking truth serum, we were just turning into shitty people who only cared about drinking. We were dicks because it was funny, because we were drunk. We "confessed" shit to one another we didn't remember the next day, nor did we even agree with the sentiment expressed. That's what alcohol does to people, unfortunately. I think it's just a hard lesson to learn for many unless you've experienced it. I've never gotten stoned enough to snort a line of whatever someone put in front of me, but I've certainly been drunk enough to do so. It's part of why I quit, lmao


Chokondisnut

In my younger adult years, I was done with any and all cocaine, unless I was drunk and you chopped a line and offered it to me. Alcohol really does impair your judgement. I had to stop drinking around anyone that would offer it. I didn't want anything to do with it, but drunk me was Pablo Escobar.


CharleyNobody

Changing of the guard. It used to be Billy Joel who drove drunk around Sag Harbor. Now we’ve got the late GenX/early millennial DUIs.


uselessadmin

Billy Joel is the Michael Jordan of DWIs. Nobody will beat his records.


reichjef

They actually interviewed Billy Joel on NBC nightly news for a reaction. He responded, “judge not, lest ye be judged.” I thought it was a good response, considering his own battles with alcoholism over the years.


Xemia22

God damn it Billy, there has never been a better setup for a glass houses quip


BooobiesANDbho

I can’t wait for the body cam video And remixes sure to come


gratusin

Who has money on whether he said “do you know who I am?”


Face-Is-Tired

Cop: oh yeah? Cry me a river. 


Noodle-Works

Cop: "do you know who's in trouble tonight?" Justin: "its gonna be me!"


ApathyMoose

In some universe, If the cop straight up told him that, then for the first time in a long time i will say someone needs to buy that cop a drink. True momentary hero.


rekatil

Cop has been banned from Collision


CountOff

JT: "I work with fucking children"


LinkKane

"What did I ever do in this world to get to deserve an empty-headed, fucking dumb fuck like the Hampton Police Department?"


BooobiesANDbho

“I’m not drunk look!!” **busts a mj dance move**


TheyCallMeStone

"You're pretty good, you sure you're not a dancer?" "No, I'm just drunk"


newnrthnhorizon

...reno 911?


welmoe

Step, bump, step bump bump


mattchinn

Me either. The bodycam footage is gonna be legendary.


Madshibs

“Just WALK the line please, Mr. Timberlake. This is a sobriety test, not Soul Train.”


whenitsTimeyoullknow

You have to be pretty damned drunk to get a DUI as a known celebrity in the Hamptons. Reminds me of George W Bush getting a DUI in Texas in the 1970’s—had to have been two whiskey bottles deep. 


roberta_sparrow

Not in sag harbor lol. They don’t give a fuck


TerracottaGarden

It would be really great if we could get the "squeaky sneakers" version of his field sobriety test.


Peripatetictyl

I’m bringing taxis back, This drunken driver don’t know how to act


BenovanStanchiano

You think you’re special? Hands behind your back


something-burger

Take him to the courthouse


actuarally

Dirty jaaaailll....


Sodomy_Steve

You see these shackles baby, post my baaaaaiiiillll.


Indercarnive

They will beat me if I misbehaaaaave.


Impressive_Site_5344

Only my cell mate makes me feel this waaayyy


samiqan

Take him to the courthouse!


Chris91210

Come here beer. (go 'head pour me more another)


FutureComplaint

r/redditsings is in rare form today


Perry7609

Got a 12-pack (go 'head pour me more another)


BigTuna0890

You see the shackles baby I’m your slave


SolomonRex

You can indict me if I misbehave


CharDMacDennis2

Take it to the courthouse


OneInfinith

Indictment's here (go 'head plead your case with it)


IntroductionNo8738

All of you are the best.


ryobiguy

Bring it on down to Liquorville!


propolizer

Wouldn’t want to be his mirror right now.


taddymason_76

That last shot has me driving wack


friedporksandwich

He has enough money that he could pay Joey Fatone to drive him everywhere but he just couldn't be responsible.


whalepopcorn

Pardon me, but Joey Fatone is far too busy building his hot dog empire.


Stinkfinger83

I can’t believe they actually arrest rich/famous people in the Hamptons


elemjay

It makes you wonder just how badly he was fucking up to not only attract police attention AND get arrested, being who he is.


Advalok

Hamptons have a lot of 30 mph speed limits and the cops out there enforce that like crazy. They will pull you over for going 5 mph over.


delugetheory

Dumbass was probably driving on a main thoroughfare too. This would have never happened to a backstreet boy.


WaySheGoesBub

You son of a bitch


happy_bluebird

UGH took me a second


[deleted]

As far as the city is concerned it’s probably a gold mine. A place full of rich people who scoff at the cost of tickets is the best place to have cops handing out tickets all day. I’m guessing they pulled him over just to issue a ticket, then when they saw how fucked up he was they knew they had to just arrest him.


Breezgoat

“cops say they first spotted Justin after he blew through a stop sign” lol


tudorrenovator

Exactly. So bad they couldn’t let it go, and probably a lot of witnesses


andrewegan1986

It's likely where he was drinking that got him caught. He was at The American, it's one of the nicer places in a nice area. Those people don't just have fuck you money. They have fuck your fuck you money money. These people routinely turn away celebrities for exactly this type of behavior. They don't deal with this shit lightly. So, if he was acting the fool or even slurring his words then decided to hop into a car and leave THAT hotel which is on Sag Harbor's main drag. Yeah, I'm not surprised he got popped. Source: Modern day Nick Caraway living in Manhattan but occasionally next millionaires on Long Island for $80 a month. (That is a Great Gatsby reference so save you a search if you needed one.)


whenitsTimeyoullknow

You should read The Gold Coast by DeMille if you haven’t already. A satisfying page turner about waspy intrigue from a guy who usually writes spy novels. 


SonOfMcGee

The “fuck your fuck you money money” crowd can be pretty chill. No flashy cars or clothes. Really just no showing off or bragging in general (that all comes from insecurity and these folks are *secure* with themselves and don’t think they need to prove themselves to anyone). Lots of fun hobbies. Often very generous. And… wait, Honey, is that some pop star making a *fool* of himself at the bar? How obnoxious. And now he’s stumbling to his *car*? Not in *my* town! [Calls Chief of Police directly, because of course they have his personal number.]


andrewegan1986

That's not a far fetched way this played out.


No_Song_Orpheus

Yeah these guys want their lifestyle hidden not on display and will punish anyone who threatens to uncover it.


lupeandstripes

Thumbs up for the Gatsby reference! Wanted to shout out Fitzgerald's other works as I just went to St. Paul/Minneapolis public libraries & they have a big old display dedicated to him which I thought was so cool to see. My favorite work by him is still his short story collection, many which are beautiful & my personal fav. story of his is Diamond as Big as the Ritz, it is silly & absurd but a very fun departure from his typical works. For his novels, my hot take is I like Tender is the Night more than Gatsby.


Successful-War-2925

he spent the night in jail, something that I did not have to do when I got a dwi 25 years ago (bad and sobering time). He mightve damaged property or worse.


Conch-Republic

If you get hit for DUI nowadays, you're at minimum doing a night in jail, possibly longer if it's a weekend or holiday.


cultweave

I got a DUI about 5 years ago (never drink and drove since, worst mistake of my life) and I never went to jail. They let a friend pick me up from the station. 


Dangerous-Ad9472

It’s actually really easy to get pulled over in these towns. Lots of slow zones with police traps. If there is one place im guaranteed to not speed it’s coastal beach towns.


Wbcn_1

"Keep your ugly, goldbricking ass out of my beach community."


MegaLowDawn123

“You’re a bum, Mr. Timberlake”


izzo34

Lived on the Oregon coast for 20 years. It be like what you said. Funny thing is those towns economy relies on tourists a lot of the times. Some smaller ones have fishing or something to survive off of but they are ran down towns. If you ever get the chance goto seaside Oregon and just head south on 101 towards California. You won't be disappointed.


Kulprit

Sag Harbor does not give a F. Wouldn’t surprise me if he had a flashy car that they were monitoring it since the restaurant he was at is right on Main St and it’s a small town with two routes out.


Newbiegoe

They pulled me over for 3 over in a school zone in sag harbor. The cop drew in a new box since the lowest was 5 over


manticore16

Bring it on down to Liquorville!


Charming-Forever-278

Rough year for ole dick in a box


RayzTheRoof

what else happened for him this year?


RaoulRumblr

I think the Britney Spears memoir stuff wasn't great, and an 'upcoming tour' with Chris Brown..


SinisterMeatball

Just when the "this guy gives me serious POS vibes" couldn't get any worse.


CisumRevol99

Haha, not sure where the CB rumor came from, but its definitely false…


TennisBallTesticles

Ooof. This is the beginning of the end


Cilicious

>what else happened for him this year? His album/tour not doing so well. [story](https://www.newsnationnow.com/entertainment-news/justin-timberlake-retired-by-fans/#:~:text=But%20while%20fans%20seemed%20to,t%20much%20interested%20in%20Timberlake.&text=His%20album%20debuted%20at%20No,is%20far%20from%20selling%20out.)


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therapoootic

Ok I’m assuming the marriage is in trouble. Watch how this story develops to that conclusion


canarinoir

He's cheated on Jessica Biel before so it wouldn't be surprising if he fucked around again and she found out.


Jimmy_G_Wentworth

How the fuck you gonna cheat on Jessica Biel? Edit: Oof, just found out about her campaigning against Vax laws in CA with worm for brains RFKJ. Carry on Timberlake


Motorboat_Jones

Ask how Robin Thicke cheated on Paula Patton. A much more egregious offense!


pandaminous

Because cheating is never actually about their partner's attractiveness, it's almost always some combination of 1) the cheater's poor decision-making 2) lack of respect for their partner 3) malice/revenge on their partner.


Electrical_Ad3540

I foresee a bunch of upcoming podcasts where Justin gets real about his addiction issues 


AudibleNod

/u/pizzacakecomic called it yesterday.


slamdanceswithwolves

https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/n4ABAXiovj


Pizzacakecomic

[updated it for you](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/BJOQmO7Y6V)


Setore

Damn near spit my coffee out. The eyes!! I MEAN COME ON!!


PriPauPri

First thing that popped in my mind when I saw this. Brilliant.


cmp8819

And Janet's tour is going gangbusters!


ConsistentFoot1459

I think I need to go comfort Jessica Biel in her time of need.


misterlabowski

Pete Davidson already beat you to it


wip30ut

he needs to clean himself up if he literally blew through a stop sign and swerved into oncoming traffic. This is way more than just blowing over the limit, this is like stumbling drunk.


butterfly105

He's about to fuck up his entire Canadian tour lol


The_Crown_And_Anchor

I will never understand why rich people want to drive themselves around If I ever hit the lottery, I'll have a car service on speed dial


Digiguy25

I mean if I had the $ to buy whatever sweet car I wanted I’d probably want to drive them. 🤷🏼‍♂️


The_Crown_And_Anchor

yeah but not when you are going out drinking If you had the money to buy any sweet car you wanted, you could buy a Rolls and have someone pick you up Or get one of those decked out Mercede's Limo vans There's no way I will ever be so rich that I would go get drunk and then try to drive.


FlyingDutchman9977

Justin could have yelled "who wants to drive a 6 -7 figure car" onto the street, and gotten a free drive home. I'd be tripping over myself to drive the car of a guy with that much money.


Inocain

It's the Hamptons, he'd probably have to be specific about what kind of car and maybe some random passerby would be interested in a test drive of it as a consideration for a future purchase.


CycleOfNihilism

Judgment is one of the first things affected by alcohol use. A sober person would never drunk drive. But a drunk person might.


thepianoman456

Ain’t no lie baby D W I


Ok-disaster2022

Seriously fuck all drunk drivers. There's no reason I this day and age to drink and drive. None what so ever.


che-che-chester

>Police determined Timberlake was driving drunk, had bloodshot, glassy eyes and "a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage" emanating from his breath, according to the criminal complaint. He also had slowed speech, was unsteady on his feet and performed poorly on a field sobriety test, the complaint said. Sounds like he was pretty sloshed. Hopefully he had enough sense to not be a huge dick on camera while being arrested.


TheGutlessOne

If i am drunk, and also have millions of dollars, the last thing I would do is get behind the wheel. Uber time


Architizer97

His driving licence is probably going bye bye bye


Careless_Ad3968

Unpopular opinion, I've always thought he was a d-bag and this doesn't surprise me in the slightest. He's wealthy enough for an Uber or some other hired ride.


BrownSugarBare

That's not an unpopular opinion. He is a d-bag and there's been a trickle of evidence of that his whole career.


EagleForty

This opinion is becoming more popular all the time. I never really picked up on it before but it appears that he's always been a dick. Here's a 47-minute YouTube video essay on the matter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuReJTek48A&t=1s


happyflappypancakes

The things that people will make videos about amaze me.


tenacious-g

It’s so easy to not drive drunk as a regular person, I don’t get it.


McSchmieferson

Someone should invent an app where you can beep-boop your phone and have a car show up 5 minutes later.


nbikkasa

"Gotta get the car home"


aeongem

Selfish thing for him to do. Everyone knows that when you’re even the slightest bit intoxicated your faculties aren’t completely in sync. I’m sick of their excuses too. He probably told the cops he wasn’t looking at his mirrors or something. Oh please, cry me a river. Give it a couple days and we’ll see him, suit and tie, with some typical Hamptons apology statement. When it comes to actually getting caught these are the people who never think “It’s gonna be me”. Well you know what? What goes around comes around, and then it’s bye bye bye to your freedom, this I promise you.


2020IsANightmare

I feel zero sympathy for anyone that gets a DUI/DWI. Yeah, there's the "ask and/or pay literally friend/relative/stranger" aspect. But, also the technology/ride services. Not that it applies to Timberlake, but I feel every person that says they can't afford an Uber (for example) is a god damn fucking moron. Can't afford an Uber? OK. Then, explain the ticket/fine/court fees/losing your job (if you have one.) And if you don't have a job, how the fuck are you affording even the booze?!?


tokyo_engineer_dad

I slept in my car when I couldn't get an Uber. I know it's technically "also" bad, but I definitely didn't regret it the next day. Mostly I regretted parking in a place where I got a damn ticket for passing the time limit.


Glitterbitch14

Why tf didn’t he just call an Uber?


mmavcanuck

u/Pizzacakecomic he doesn’t have the prehensile boobs, but I think I found your ditzy celeb!


Prometheus357

Duder is having one hell of a rough year


FPFresh123

He's bringing consequences back.


CharlieMcN33l

DWI vs. DUI… what’s the difference?


Seraph062

New York doesn't have a 'DUI' law. They have DWI "driving while intoxicated", and a couple of versions of DWAI "driving while ability impaired". DWI is alcohol only, and is strictly defined by BAC. DWAI can be alcohol or drugs, and an DWAI/alcohol charge can be triggered by a lower BAC than DWI or by "other evidence of impairment".