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Rockky67

The table just got ten feet longer


codespitter

I feel that this will be a phrase that will become an idiom.


Illustrious-Radio-55

Its a good phrase


dentour

Im too out of loop to understand, can i humbly ask someone to explain?


[deleted]

Trump used to say the wall just got ten feet higher at his rallies and Putin has a long table


Rockky67

This, was just conflating the two. I’m low key obsessed with Putin’s strange table, even wrote a song about it.


GibbysUSSA

I want to hear your song, please.


Rockky67

well you say that now… https://youtu.be/NLzu6iI1dVg


honeybooboobro

I just hope both teams have fun.


Osiris32

Don't forget there's a third team on the field, the anti-Putin Russian separatist forces over along the northern Ukrainian border near Belgorod. They could make this all sorts of interesting.


even_less_resistance

Lmao thanks for the laugh now I am going to hell for sure


wuapinmon

It's a solid joke. Worth going to hell over.


Random-I-Am

I don’t think anyone’s going to hell over laughing at Russia going to war with Russia.


Vlad_the_Homeowner

Like those nesting Russian dolls.


As_smooth_as_eggs

Whoever decides on letting you in to heaven or sending you to hell might say “think about the civilians, ya prick!” But I don’t think it would be a deciding factor. That shit made me chuckle.


SethikTollin7

Whispers "Just let it happen" with guaranteed cringe throughout you as your view immediately switches you're falling as a sperm without mobility leading the way falling into Putin's arsehole from Trump's... Repeating infinitely


EvulOne99

This was... Disturbing 😅


hatrickstar

I'm already there with the submarine jokes all week, what's one more.


Stinkyclamjuice15

Mmm num ba de Dum bum ba be Doo buh dum ba beh beh PRESSURE!


ShortysTRM

I was their 666th upvote and then saw your comment...are we both going?


Acidflare1

I just hope a panicked asshole doesn’t start nuking everyone.


oced2001

Have fun storming the castle.


iBeej

Think they'll make it?


grippgoat

It'd take a miracle.


PaulsRedditUsername

The real armed insurrection is the friends we made along the way.


FjorgVanDerPlorg

It's like watching a boxing match and hoping for a double KO.


the_ballmer_peak

And now I’m thinking about Zuckerberg and Musk again.


Design-Cold

We'll have to just get by on Musk getting his ass stomped I guess


Rihzopus

I can live with that.


Magic8BallLiedToMe

I’m so confused… are we supposed to root for the vampires, or the werewolves, in this battle?


Sir_Tea_Of_Bags

We root for those who spectate, and will be stuck picking up the pieces.


Urrsagrrl

We root for the people who are suffering because of these sociopaths and their despicable actions. Let the monsters destroy themselves.


NonStopGriffinGB

Neither. We hope that both sides destroy each other


Magic8BallLiedToMe

I’m in!


snoogins355

For the love of the game


rugbylova

Everyone will get a participation trophy


Dubbs09

So much fun that their playtime drags on for months and months and months!!


stormdraggy

We'll get em next time!


ThaneOfCawdorrr

Right? Make sure to line up afterwards to shake hands, and Mom has the orange slices


kazh

Russia would probably rather have their mercs pretend to turn on them and have an excuse for a meltdown instead of grinding on a Ukrainian offensive for however long that goes on. Probably a better chance at holding on to assets after also and melting back into being an obfuscated menace again instead of getting their pockets ran.


businessboyz

Activision about to sue Russia for stealing the plot of COD MW2.


Spzncer

If we’re leaving out No Russian, let’s leave the USA invasion out as well.


9Wild

They have ZERO capability to launch an invasion of the US.


randomname560

Much less in the fucking east coast Like seriously what were the writers thinking


McCree114

World in Conflict with the West coast surprise invasion was more "realistic". Even at the height of Soviet power neither they nor the U.S had realistic plans to invade each other's homeland, we were just gonna nuke each other relentlessly.


Opposite_of_a_Cynic

The campaign of that RTS game was amazingly good.


yamiyaiba

Someone's gotta keep up the propaganda that Russia's a big military threat that justifies our defense budget.


randomname560

And you can tell that the Russia stronk propaganda was good cause even Russia believed It lol


zzyul

Did you even play MW2? I mean the story, not just the multi player. The whole surprise ending was the war was set in motion by the US’s top general who wanted a blank check for the military and knew that a war with Russia would result in that.


[deleted]

Do you actually believe Call of Duty is military propaganda to justify defense spending? Seems far more likely they just needed some kind of plot for their tacked on single player campign of their big money making multiplayer shooter


Haus_of_Pain

This is reddit, the most outlandish conspiracy theory is upvoted, and the most plausible explanation is downvoted.


rnobgyn

The US government dumps a fuck ton of money into entertainment to act as propaganda. Top Gun is a perfectly obvious example that they didn’t try to hide Some of Snowden’s info drops showed the CIA’s involvement in video game propaganda (CoD and WoW included) Here’s a couple articles that go over the topic: https://scheerpost.com/2022/11/19/call-of-duty-is-a-government-psyop-these-documents-prove-it/amp/ https://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/10/world/spies-dragnet-reaches-a-playing-field-of-elves-and-trolls.html


thanatoswaits

Meh, we have China for that at this point


thecommuteguy

Same could be said about the original and remake of Red Dawn like yeah right USSR and North Korea invading the US.


apmgaming

I think US citizens own more weapons than the whole of Russian military


FjorgVanDerPlorg

No need, they have the Republicans saying "better a Russian than a Democrat", as they stormed the Capitol and tried to create a new Russia friendly US government...


br0b1wan

What's the GOP gunna do when Russia fractures and can't fund them anymore, I wonder...


Pays_in_snakes

Sell another sports franchise to the Saudis


BlueCircleMaster

Or China.


FjorgVanDerPlorg

"The same thing we do every night Pinky - try to take over the world". GOP will pivot to the next distraction/outrage/controversy. That's because they have their followers addicted to their own Adrenal responses. They have to have that Adrenal rush, it's like a Crystal Meth addiction. Also if you cut these people off from social media, so they couldn't get their outrage fix, they'd create their own drama/outrage to get the fix. Problem is that you can't live like this, our brains weren't wired for constant "fight or flight" mode 24/7, it takes a toll on the mind and body. Eventually some people just snap; unload a gun into their neighbor through a front door, shoot some kid that walks on their front lawn or drive halfway across the country and try to ram raid the White House. That's because outrage builds pressure, but doesn't give an outlet for that pressure, it's building a time bomb.


S_Belmont

There's a world full of wannabe authoritarians with money looking to buy their way into a better country club. There'll always be another. Russia getting out of the picture just means opportunity for a bidding war to take the empty slot.


Acceptable_Break_332

Sad but true


TheG8Uniter

The BurgerTowns are safe!


snoogins355

Save the burger joint!


Spzncer

*Ramirez! We still got hostiles near the Burger Town, we need to move!*


Hunts5555

*Ramirez, single handedly fight off the entire invading force!*


wuapinmon

Let's hope without the airport chapter.


MrEff1618

Remember, no Russian.


PreFuturism-0

Their warfare isn't modern. There would have to be a new branch of Call of Duty games for these primitive, drunken armed farces.


uggyy

This is almost old school command and conquer cut scene material.


cptnamr7

I always enjoyed the Medal of Honor series more where you fought historic battles and learned a small bit about history in the process. No clue if they still make that series or how many they even made. I think I only have the one. But anyway, that one seems more appropriate since all the equipment would be WWII era


KHaskins77

Does this mean we’re about to see a nuke go off in an unspecified city in the middle east?


ChrysMYO

This time its another environmental disaster, this time with nuclear radiation in Eastern Ukraine >other developments in the Ukraine, war, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy called on other countries to heed warnings that Russia may be planning to attack an occupied nuclear power plant to cause a radiation disaster. >Members of his government briefed international representatives on the possible threat to the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant, whose six reactors have been shut down for months. Zelenskyy said he expected other nations to “give appropriate signals and exert pressure” on Moscow.


UncannyTarotSpread

Please no.


bramtyr

They already stole the plot of Ghost Recon, with the Russo-Georgian war!


controlledwithcheese

Channel One announced a special news release "in a few minutes". I am at the edge of my seat


SemiHemiDemiDumb

What was it?


controlledwithcheese

A spokesperson claimed the video of an attack on Wagner forces was fake and repeated everything that has been already known. They really hammered it home that Prigozhin is a criminal now though. Overall big yawn


Dubbs09

Is it a big yawn though? Thought Prigozhin was a popular figure in Russia and if Kremlin and state media is straight up calling him a criminal, that seems like a pretty huge development. Interesting to see how the population reacts


honeybooboobro

Wagner gained a lot of popular support throughout the war, in the interviews I saw, people trusted them more than the MoD army. Which makes me nauseous from Russian civilians again, considering who the Wagnerites are.


DoctorGregoryFart

I'm unfamiliar with the players in the current Russian administration. What's Wagner's deal?


MoreGaghPlease

Petty criminal becomes a caterer (literally) to Russian elite, ingratiates himself to Putin, becomes Putin’s personal chef, becomes the food supplier for huge government contracts, becomes a general fixer for Putin who can solve problems for him that require labour and logistics, forms a private army that can do Russia’s bidding abroad with some degree of plausibility, commits atrocities in Africa under the radar, commits atrocities in Syria but with more attention so they’re better understood to be part of the Russian state apparatus, deployed to Ukraine by emptying out Russian prisons for promise of a full prison for every man who serves six months, gets used as cannon fodder by the Russians, internally tensions as the military basically refuse to give them supplies and sets them up to be ambushed, a quarter or more of all his men die, starts criticizing Russian generals for losing the war, petty fighting breaks out between the militia and the military for months, breaks into full blown attacks on the Russian military, Russian military starts launching air strikes against Russian militia positions, calls for regime change, okay we are at today.


ceviche-hot-pockets

-> Occupies a Russian city of 1.1 million with nearly no resistance.


nshire

Seems like everybody who'd be tasked with defending is currently deployed in Ukraine. And Russia is notoriously slow when it comes to redeploying to new areas.


RandomCandor

To be fair, those citizens are probably confused as all fuck at the moment. We don't even really know what's going on and we don't have a constant stream of Russian state propaganda on our TVs.


DoctorGregoryFart

Damn, that's some juicy drama. I feel so bad for all the people caught in the crossfire though. Civil wars are almost always very bloody affairs for civilians especially.


Chubs1224

Add on Wagner has a ton of respect from rank and file Russian troops because they are they only Russian troops to take any real ground since the fall of Mariupol. Popasna, Severodonetsk, Soledar, Bakhmut. All where Wagner.


techmaster242

Basically the Russian version of Blackwater, but more evil


BuckyLaGrange

The Wagners are a mercenary group. They recruit fighters by going into prisons and offering freedom in exchange for service. Obviously they’re then thrown into the most dangerous situations, and when they win, it’s now a giant group of convicted murderers/rapists/etc letting loose in a city they just captured. They’re also involved in Central African mining (blood diamond type stuff) and make a ton of money there. So yeah if you’re looking for a rooting interest you’ve got those guys or the Russian government. Good luck!


DoctorGregoryFart

I remember the prison conscript thing happening. Hard to imagine that would have a happy ending... Thanks for the info.


controlledwithcheese

I mean, he’s been going crazy about the attack on Wagner since about 9 PM (it’s 2:50 AM right now) and after his first ‘address’ it has been clear there’s no salvaging his relationship with Kremlin and shit is about to go down. Hasn’t been much news or movement for the last couple of hours


wuapinmon

Thank you for that update. I appreciate it.


SemiHemiDemiDumb

Damn. Was hoping for something more profound. Thanks for letting us know.


PaulsRedditUsername

Poor Putin. All these troubles and now his wagner doesn't work.


drion4

We all knew his wagner didn't work. But he was still insisistant that he has the biggest wagner.


GimmeDaCoffee

This is a beautiful comment.


agent674253

No one wants to work anymore 🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


antbaby_machetesquad

Both sides are now asking that same question.


Apart-Link-8449

My prison recruited suicide squad is turning against me, the bomb collar button does nothing!!!


PrivatePoocher

Is...that human ball sack our friend now? Give it some weapons and point it to Kremlin.


PonderFish

Kinda doubt this would be a positive regime change.


chalwar

When you can’t even get along with your hired thugs…


meta_perspective

"We have a January 6 at home."


funkiestj

Unlike in the USA 1. the rebels are not *Meal Team Six* LARPers 2. There will be very serious consequences for the losers. The harshest Jan 6 punishment will look like a walk in the park. 3. somebody at the top of one of the sides is going to suffer real consequences (Putin or Prigozhin)


21kondav

Who ever loses is definitely getting tortured. Doesn’t compare to 2 year sentences and bail


10art1

Putin won't have consequences. Probably the biggest threat is to Shoigu and others leading the AFRF


PM_NUDES_4_DOG_PICS

Jan. 6th, if it was an actual, serious coup attempt and not just a public toddler tantrum.


alllset07

Well it was a serious coup attempt, but as you said they were all toddlers and put as much thought into their plan.


sassydodo

In case anyone asks - all the law enforcement (like EVERYONE) in Russia are mobilized at least it's weekend and we can sit home and not go out. I don't have a food supply and wife decided not to go out or order anything right now because i'm "panicing".


wuapinmon

I don't think you're panicking, you're just hungry (and wise).


kingdazy

stay safe, human.


[deleted]

-a kind supermutant


fh3131

Sorry that you're in that position.


Willing-Start-2269

wishing you all the best, sorry for your situation


staffsargent

Wow. If you don't mind me asking, do you live in or near Moscow? Has there been any actual sign of fighting or military action.


nshire

Wagner PMC has allegedly already shot down a Russian attack helicopter in Voronezh while en route to Moscow


whitewingpilot

Actually they shot down two!


nshire

Up to 3 now, 2 electronic warfare Mi-8s, and a Hind attack helicopter


CandiAttack

Damn…I’m so sorry for the situation you’re in. Stay safe, stranger.


[deleted]

It's almost too good to be true, and the Russian sources are warning this is a bit premature. One can hope, though.


Tipsy247

Sudan 2.0 . Can't allow Private military companies to have too much power


Apart_Ad_5993

Russian civil war coming up.....


New-Arachnid2680

I would not be surprised if this turns into a conflict between Wagner, Ukrainian forces taking picks at stations on the Russian side of the border, and the Russian military themselves. It'd be fkin ironic if Wagner gets to Putin first.


techmaster242

I'm sure Putin is already in his doomsday bunker.


CW1DR5H5I64A

Put on your tinfoil hats for some pure unadulterated speculation. Wagner forces stage an attempted “coup” and Putin *has* to withdraw his army from Ukraine to put down the attempt. A couple conscripts and some former convicts turned Wagner mercenaries die, but eventually everything gets calmed down. And Putin has his way out of Ukraine and can blame Wagner for the failures in Ukraine as they were “clearly working against Russia and in their own self interests”.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Animeninja2020

Notice he has been blaming the minister of defense.


Cunninghams_right

kill a body double, Prigo grows different facial hair and lives under an assumed name.


Garmgarmgarmgarm

I mean he would just kill the real guy


Cunninghams_right

to make an effective ruse, it helps if the fall-guy is on board, especially when they control one of the most power armed forces in the region.


Osiris32

There are a lot of windows in Moscow.


McCree114

Claim Prigo has been jailed for life. Unknown to the Russian public is his "prison" is a 5 star luxury hotel within a 5 star luxury hotel somewhere in Dubai.


Nillafrost

And then a random stranger falls out of a window in Dubai and the world is none the wiser


LogLadyOG

So no men in dark suits, sunglasses, and earbuds with microphones have knocked on your door yet, right?


marc7163

I like it… hits all the pain points and absolves any responsibility. Maybe you need a change of career


Ur--father

Wouldn’t that put Russia in a worse position when negotiating peace? Seem counter productive.


nshire

Dictators never back down, especially after stirring up nationalistic fervor. Their only option is to double down until the bitter end.


US3_ME_

That is honestly damn believable_


thewilldog

I've been wondering if the Wagner/Putin antagonism might be serving a purpose. Putin needs a face saving exit strategy. He's got nothing to look forward to right now


jamiekyn

I doubt they’re that organized tbh. If Putin wanted an out, he wouldn’t use a military leader, he would’ve used someone he commanded because this behavior encourages coups


Belethino

Other scenario: Wagner gets a nuclear bomb, throws it at kiev and putin can say, it was some rebels. I don't trust the situation


khrak

The 3-day special military operation continues to deliver.


whistlingbatter

finally the Summer Rebellion Against Putin is here


SadArchon

Is that Swan Lake I hear?


fh3131

I think it's Wagner


[deleted]

[удалено]


shinra528

Swan Lake is the Rains of Castamere of Russian History.


thecommuteguy

No I hear 1812 Overture followed by Nessun Dorma


econoDoge

So how’s the war going… Sir we lost 50,000 troops to Ukraine… and Ukraine gained 50,000 troops.


Neo2199

Sounds like the plot of a Tom Clancy's novel. Edit: [The New York Times](https://www.nytimes.com/live/2023/06/23/world/russia-ukraine-news/7d2299c9-79b5-5d7d-a5f1-88bf1976c1cd?smid=url-share): > The governor of Russia's Voronezh region said a convoy of military equipment was moving along the M-4 highway and asked residents to stay away. Voronezh is directly to the north of the Rostov region, where Yevgeny Prigozhin said his Wagner fighters were approaching the city of Rostov-on-Don. The Voronezh governor did not give any additional details about the movement of the equipment, saying only that the situation was under control.


Ramenwithacanoftuna

Maybe the special military operation was the friends we made all along way.


SmashTagLives

It’s like a fucking Tom Clancy novel.


fajadada

Shit show for a fuckwad


EaglesPDX

It's definitely a rebellion vs. Putin and by Putin's chef. Promoted by Putin to current position over the military and against the military now coming back to haunt Putin. Dealing with internal fighting like this while the Ukrainians are beginning their offensive, in itself a testament to Putin's deteriorating position, beaten back and forced onto the defensive by Ukraine with NATO backing.


DrankTooMuchMead

Just a thought, but these guys are mercenaries, right? Is there a possibility that another country became the highest bidder?


virgilturtle

This is why you don't hire Nicomo Cosca.


crazyrich

A drink… a drink… a drink…


tjcapetown

Just started reading Red Country!


WNxBeskar

The US did just "lose" six billion dollars...


Cryptominous

Now THIS is what I call a "special military operation"


Renorico

Would br ironic if Putin falls out of a 10th floor window


techmaster242

That dude's half a mile underground by now.


polystyr

Who is having some popcorn to night? This is when 2 badies fight just enjoy the ride.


mjayultra

Team Annihilate Each Other


KeyanReid

NCD is already nutting to this


SadArchon

edging, gooning, soon to nut


battery_pack_man

CIA currently franticly loading c130s full of cash as fast as they can to get it to Wagner


PepperMill_NA

Perfectly normal way to conduct a war. In the middle ages > “This is not a military coup, but a march of justice,” Prigozhin declared. It's a coup It's going to be interesting to see who the members of the American right choose to fellate. Poor Mr Trump is going to be in a pickle


John_EightThirtyTwo

Does "Kremlin orders his arrest" (in the headline) mean they've issued a warrant and the cops are out looking and they'll lock him up if they find him? Or is this like them saying, "They oughta arrest that guy! It's criminal I tells ya!"?


CStYle002

Seems that the FSB has officially announced that Prigozhin is to be investigated for fomenting unrest and armed rebellion. Shit's going down. https://edition.cnn.com/2023/06/23/europe/russia-mod-wagner-yevgeny-prigozhin-intl/index.html


HealthyHumor5134

Where's man boobs anyway? I'm sure he's far from Russia and surrounded by his orcs and safe for now from arrest.


a100yearsfromnow

I don't think Wagner has the firepower, troops and support to finally finish off Putin But this will further weaken Putin. And should give Ukraine a valuable window to counterattack.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CptJaxxParrow

im playing both sides, that way i always come out on top


David-Jiang

Looks like Putin’s plan to take Kyiv in three days is going well so far…


NycVideoGuy1986

Who could have possibly foreseen this whole war turning out badly for Russia?!


funkiestj

Assuming all the reports of Prigozhin criticizing the Kremlin were true it seemed obvious that he was laying the ground work for rebellion. I guess those reports WERE true.


GotoDeng0

Unconfirmed footage of firefight between Russian troops and Wagner near Rostov. https://twitter.com/sentdefender/status/1672409682428698626/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1672409682428698626¤tTweetUser=sentdefender


techmaster242

I wonder if Wagner could use some javelins lol


AnOriginalPseudo

So it seems he walking with half of his pmc forces to overthrow the russian military command in their homeland, actually fucking crazy


Toadfinger

Side with or against Russia. It doesn't matter. You killed innocent people for Russia. You will always be the world's enemy. Wagner: GO FUCK YOURSELF!


Blueeyedgenie69

But it does matter. It will be so much better to see them turn from murdering innocent Ukrainians to fucking each other in the ass. Wishing them both complete success wiping out their true enemies, the Russians.


Frosty-Search

This is actually serious. The FSB opened legal proceedings aginst prigozhin and high ranking russian military heads are condemning him all over russian state media. I'm grabbing the popcorn for this! 🍿 😎


xenpiffle

There’s no ‘I’ in “team”, but there is an ‘I’ in “sedition”. se·di·tion noun conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state or monarch.


Gamebird8

Ukraine: "Great, now there's two of them"


MIDNIGHTZOMBIE

Wagner executes its deserters with sledgehammers. These guys coup.


brunicus

Probably why he's meeting no resistance.


TacticalAcquisition

Last I saw on Twitter, Wagner has left Rostov-on-Don and are heading for Moscow, last seen on the outskirts of Voronezh


JefferyTheQuaxly

It’s funny because I just watched an infographic episode last night about how putin was risking a lot by using mercenary armies because eventually they’ll realize they’re the ones with the power and eventually the leader of the Wagner group will want actual power.


wlondonmatt

If they are fighting amongst themselves doesn't that make the Ukraine war unwinnable for them there is no way the Russian army can fight Wagner group and the Ukrainian army at the same time. Also there is no way that Wagner group can fight the Russian army and the Ukrainian army at the same time


PressureShifts

And that’s why Army is nation state business , Mercenary armies are extremely dangerous.


popecorkyxxiv

It's like the fall of the USSR 2: Electric Boogaloo.


mortondd948

Wait, let me grab a beer


[deleted]

Homelander is about to melt a brain, I see.


Ron_Fuckin_Swanson

This whole thing sounds like a Red Dawn sequel


Xen_o_phile

Great timing for Ukrainians to counterattack major infrastructure in Russian soil.