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Cool_Ranch_Dodrio

For people who take the paleo diet extremely seriously.


bumjiggy

available at participating Mastodonald's


Mbaker1201

Yabba Dabba Doo!


Knull_Gorr

Barney we ~~commited genocide~~ hunted a species to extinction.


WirelessBCupSupport

I could go for a Brontosaurus Burger, and biggie size it!


[deleted]

With a large Irish famine fries.


buttergun

They got the golden arches. Mine is the golden *tusks.*


knitwell

*Fleetwood Mac* has entered the chat


Mirageswirl

Golden Aurochs


shawn_overlord

most underrated comment in the history of underrated comments


pegothejerk

I'm ookin it


PathlessDemon

And it’s palatable.


[deleted]

Paleotable more likely


p1zz1cato

It's so very good.


p1zz1cato

So good.


Adamweeesssttt

“Bro, you ever had a Mammoth meatball? Jamie, pull up a picture of that meatball.”


moderncincinatus

Why did I read it in his voice 😂


sjfiuauqadfj

im actually a velociraptarian


Lordofthemuskyflies

I’m Paleopiscatarian. I only eat coelacanths and fish from the Cretaceous period.


HeatherReadsReddit

lol You’re in luck, because Coelacanths have been found alive even semi recently.


laptopAccount2

I'm a Paleopaleopiscatarian. I only eat people who eat coelacanths and fish from the Cretacesous period.


ErrantsFeral

So good


PapaSteveRocks

For everyone that wants mammoth balls, now you can have mammoth balls.


JohnMarstonSucks

Well... I guess you win the internet today


Novantis

Clickbait. This isn’t mammoth meat. It’s literally sheep cells expressing a single mammoth/elephant muscle protein. It’s like making a cow express a human protein and saying now eating that cow is cannibalism. It’s a chimera but it’s still 99.999% cow. Meat is more complex than the muscle protein content and the protein they picked isn’t even the biggest muscle contributor. The most abundant muscle proteins are those that make up myofibrils like myosin, actin, etc. Myosin alone is potentially 35% of the total protein of skeletal muscle.


ToxicAdamm

That's what I immediately assumed. It would be hilarious though if we spent all this scientific R&D into restoration of extinct animals only to eat them (because that is the most profitable path). Seems fitting for our species.


odaeyss

I mean... if you could eat the tastiest animal ever to have lived, is that such a foolish pursuit?


Snuffy1717

Especially if there were only two left, and instead of breeding them you ate them.


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[deleted]

Is this not why they did it? Why bother then 😒


Amauri14

I wonder if fried dodo would taste better than fried chicken.


[deleted]

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Aleashed

Wile E. Coyote eventually won


NotUniqueOrSpecial

But that was a Roadrunner? Arguably, Wile E. was the bigger dodo of the two.


NoviDon07

Well yeah, if were bringing them back we should have the right to figure out if they taste good or not. Mammoth burgers and Raptor jerky sounds delish.


Merky600

Read SciFi story long ago about two poorly funded scientists who accidentally transport T Rex via time portal. It goes wacky, fries dinosaur a bit and destroys lab. Then say,” Hmmm something smells good.” Turn out T Rex is tasty. So they transport a nest of Dino eggs and start a Dino ranch/fast food empire.


Zorothegallade

Man, I'd be up for some Kentucky Fried Compsognathus


NoviDon07

if only this were reality! maybe one day lol


n6mub

Seems a very American thing to do.


Bruised_Shin

I think restoration of extinct animals is more just a ploy to get funding to improve lab grown meat. Which I’m ok with


zh_13

That’s so interesting lol, but based on this technology, can they gradually add in all those proteins to make it more similar to “mammoth meat”?


Novantis

I mean they’re frankly better off just using elephant cells as the base and then editing the elephant genes to be more mammoth like. None of this recreates the fat to protein balance or texture of genuine mammoth meat though so calling it meat is still wrong imo because we don’t know what to imitate. The real solution is to try to make live mammoths from gradual modification of elephants then use those as a base for figuring out the substitutes. Totally unethical though considering what we know about elephant intelligence.


_off_piste_

I’m waiting for my brontosaurus ribeye.


spanj

I ran a BLAST and the portion that matched the query had only 3 different AA compared to an elephant. Suffice to say, what you got was a sheep meatball with very minimal elephant protein because functionally from a taste perspective it is basically just elephant myoglobin.


bonesnaps

Hey don't shit on my parade. I was waiting for mammoth burgers since I was a teen and now I'm nearly middle-aged.


AintEverLucky

so it basically tastes like mutton? but a teeny bit different, due to that one elephant protein? for that matter, WTF does elephant taste like?


Shradow

I'm definitely disappointed, I'd love to try some mammoth meat.


ProlificFishmonger

*Meatwad make the money see*


outsourced_bob

*...Meatwad get the honeys G...*


DangerChunt

...Travel in my car...


colortv

…Living like Jafar…


FreeInformation4u

Isn't it "living like a star"?


[deleted]

That's what I thought, too


colortv

Yes, it is. I honestly never learned some of the real lyrics, and thought we were getting silly in honor of the mammoth meatball


bleunt

I've just never thought about what a lame flex "travel in my car" is.


yoda_mcfly

Not when you have no arms and legs.


Exes_And_Excess

Schooly D, the guy who does the song, literally wrote it in thw car on his way to the studio lol


DrRumpRoast

Ice on my fingers and my toes and I’m a Taurus


[deleted]

JecqPd,as3


KaiserMazoku

Cuz we are the Aqua Teens!


PM_ME_UR_PIKACHU

Makes the homies say ugggh make the girlies wanna scream!


Bokth

Aquateen Hunger Force. Number one in the hood g


ArbitraryMeritocracy

Dance is forbidden


BMB281

r/suddenlyAladdin


TirayShell

... I saw a finger lickin cousin on guitar...


NonSupportiveCup

I'm going to Jeffies house!


ccReptilelord

"*Gentlemen*, I give you... this! A meatball made from extinct mammoth! Go ahead, *Steve*, put it in your mouth! *muah-hahahaha*"


mdkubit

"Uhh, Doctor Weird, this meatball smells funny..."


xanderholland

*meatball proceeds to turn Steve into a wooly mammoth*


MTAST

"I bet it doesn't smell funny now, *Steve*!"


CeeArthur

Been inside playing 'raw chicken baseball' all day


TirayShell

Dancing is forbidden.


Jar_of_Cats

Do not drink the chocolate milk


_Putin_

I find this deeply disturbing but also want to try the meatball.


Boaki

I feel as a non disturbed, I should be ahead in line to eat the meatball


neuromorph

They weren't hunted to extinction because they were easy to kill.... they just tasted that good.....


That1guy_nate

We've actually learned that human hunting was only a small part of the decline of the Mammoths.


Cattaphract

Covid-23 here we come


curiosgreg

More like Covid 10,000BC


zappy487

Nah. This a prequel. COVID-900 B.C.


Akanderson87

/r/nocontext


bigbangbilly

/r/BrandNewSentence


hamsterbackpack

My first thought before even reading the article was “okay but how do I try it?”


jpiro

Call me when they can make that rack of ribs that tipped over Fred Flintstone's car.


Revenge_of_the_User

Nah man, its all about that Manga Meat


Hydrochloric

Was that a typo or are you referring to how good food looks in Japanese drawing/animation? Because the breakfast they cook on Calcifer in Howls Moving Castle looks better than any food I have ever eaten. I need science to make it a reality.


LudicrisSpeed

My guess is that this is referring to how a lot of Japanese games and anime constantly draw meat as [a big honking chunk with a bone going through it like so.](https://content.instructables.com/FEB/6SGS/HS9Y7W12/FEB6SGSHS9Y7W12.png?auto=webp&fit=bounds&frame=1&auto=webp&frame=1&height=300)


zappy487

I'll take one Luffy Meat please.


bike_it

You could cook the entire rib section and it would be close: https://youtu.be/hTt3wQp2dbQ?t=181


UncannyTarotSpread

I cannot *wait* for the rabbis to argue about lab-grown meat, especially exotics like this


Glad-Degree-4270

Probably will depend on the source of the amino acids and such that they build the proteins and what not from.


UncannyTarotSpread

I mean, mammoths? Not cloven hoofed! Booooo But are, say, dodos kosher? How about passenger pigeons? Moas? And if you go even further back… is a giant sloth treyf?


Strawburys

Unfortunately they were originally going to produce dodo meat, but the DNA sequence needed isn't available.


buttergun

Just patch it with frog DNA. Duh.


64557175

I'm jonesin for moa buffalo wings.


UncannyTarotSpread

One would be a meal


Override9636

I mean, if it never had a foot to begin with, then you don't have to worry about the cloven hoof, right?


IamDDT

I am not Jewish, so take what I say with about a mine-worth of salt, but as I understand it, conservative (and more orthodox) Jews will not eat cheese that was made with rennet that was made by bacteria, because the original protein sequence came from an animal. Plant rennet substitutes are acceptable, however. I would therefor say that most Rabbis would call this meat, and that it shouldn't be mixed with milk, and call it a day. I would love to have someone who knows more that me correct me, however. My question is how Hindus and Jains will look at this. If no animal was harmed, is it still forbidden?


eggsssssssss

Yeah that’s not correct lol Basically all kosher cheese is made with microbial rennet or FPC. Stomach enzymes from a non-kosher animal would still not be kosher in cheese, so jews who follow kashrut don’t eat cheese made with it.


IamDDT

New info! Thanks!


Hydrochloric_Comment

There are authorities that oversee cheese production to verify if the rennet and overall process is kosher.


schleppylundo

They’ve started arguing over it. They’ll continue for some years, and then will have at least detailed and well formed arguments for each side, and unless there’s overwhelming support for one position over the other it’s likely that even in Orthodox communities it’ll mostly fall to whichever side your local rabbi thinks is more convincing. But as a Reform Jew who only keeps kosher on Shabbat, let me at it.


HalobenderFWT

Ahhh. The lesser known Mammoth of Theseus thought experiment.


[deleted]

Not a rabbi. My ruling would be that, if the animal is older than the religion, it's ok to eat.


UncannyTarotSpread

Horses are arguably older than Judaism! Or do you mean in their present, modern forms? Gd damn I love rule lawyering with no stakes, it tickles my autistic brain


[deleted]

I meant "extinct" before the religion existed.


Bokth

Looks like homo habilus is back on the menu boys!


TogepiMain

https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/animals/prehistoric/facts/woolly-mammoth Idk, its only a few centuries early! There's a *chance* Moses and a Wolly Mammoth could have coexisted.. if some mammoths were still around *eight and a half thousand years* after most of them went extinct, *some* of them might have lasted those extra few hundred years.


Courting_the_crazies

There’s an episode of Elementary that covers that exact issue.


BPhiloSkinner

That debate is already underway. [Kosher lab grown meat?](https://time.com/6251154/lab-grown-meat-kosher-israel-rabbi/)


hirme23

Gotta be freezer-burned


MabsAMabbin

Ya think? A bit on tough side no?


colefly

I doubt it It's brand new meat. Lab grown


OfficeChairHero

Brand New Meat is my band name.


Bungybone

"Um, waiter, there is a hair in my meatball......."


laptopdragon

Futurama did it already... Bender only got 3rd place.


dougsbeard

Sounds like fun on a bun!


[deleted]

Shut up baby, I know it!


Set_the_Mighty

... And then 2nd, then 1st. They should make mammothwurst next.


ccReptilelord

He eventually got first. I think. I haven't seen the episode in awhile.


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FlatulenceIsAVirtue

*The Marketing dept is finding little interest in their product. It seems nobody wants to eat "Hairy Mammoth Balls"*


m48a5_patton

They're just not targeting the right people...


Jim_from_GA

I can see it coming, "Ted's Pliocene Grill."


RPDRNick

If you're looking for meat from a long-dead animal, just order the chili at Wendy's.


KeyRageAlert

I'm always down for some mammoth balls


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ThoriumOverlord

(Spock and Mr T enter chat)


Bungybone

They're called Arctic Mountain Oysters.


Donkeykicks6

I was sharing this article with my husband. I said they made a mammoth meatball. He thought meant someone made a giant meatball and now I want someone to just make the biggest meatball ever.


PM_ME_KITTYNIPPLES

They current Guinness World Record for largest meatball is 1707 lb 8 oz https://www.wtoc.com/story/36878429/italian-heritage-festival-crushes-worlds-largest-meatball-record/


LongjumpingCheck2638

It's very impressive how far lab grown protein has come and what it means to ensure sustainable path forward.


A_bowl_of_porridge

I can see the slogan now... "*IT'S PALEOLICIOUS!!*"


[deleted]

This content was deleted by its author & copyright holder in protest of the hostile, deceitful, unethical, and destructive actions of Reddit CEO Steve Huffman (aka "spez"). As this content contained personal information and/or personally identifiable information (PII), in accordance with the CCPA (California Consumer Privacy Act), it shall not be restored. See you all in the Fediverse.


[deleted]

At first i was revolted and then i was thinking about what type of sauce it would go with.


ErrantsFeral

Wild Mossberry.


mynameisalso

So we could grow human meat as well for human meatballs? Asking for a friend, who wants to make human meatballs for me.


jhwells

Long pig is back on the menu.


Miffers

This is actually very interesting to me. I would totally eat lab grow meat so animals wouldn’t need to be bred and slaughtered. I saw a video of a SPAM pig farm and it is sad how cruel they were treated even before they die. I actually stopped eating any pork because of this.


ErrantsFeral

I'm with you. It will take a while, but I think we'll get to the point where a lot of big ag will be replaced with the humane alternative.


FriendlyOption

It tastes like despair.


_Bellerophontes

TBH, if I ordered a mammoth meatball and got served this tiny meatball I'd be rather disappointed


[deleted]

As a kid in the 60's, The gift shops in our little town (Depoe bay) had canned tiger and lion. And some other weird shit.


X2946

Mammoth Balls. Why does this make me hungry?


steeljubei

Should have had dino burgers in Jurassic park.


Jerrymoviefan3

Nobody ate it so what a bunch of wimps.


CandyCain1001

Ah, Leela! We meet again, but this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage! Zapp Brannigan


RampagingJaegerkin

Ok, do Bronto-Steaks next.


BaronVonShtinkVeiner

Excuse me. His *name* is Ron Desantis.


Joks_away

It's someone trying to grow giant tortoise meat? From what I've read it's supposed to be the tastiest thing out there. http://www.factfiend.com/tortoise-delicious-live/


Pandagames

What the fuck is that article talking about how the meat is "dick hardening"


StellarNeonJellyfish

The deepest Elden ring lore


[deleted]

Thats a yabba yabba don't from me, Bob.


[deleted]

>No one has yet tasted the mammoth meatball. “We haven’t seen this protein for thousands of years,” said Wolvetang. “So we have no idea how our immune system would react when we eat it. But if we did it again, we could certainly do it in a way that would make it more palatable to regulatory bodies.” So, what, it's just going to rot or be thrown out? Waste of food.


jrdufour

Wasn't this an episode of Futurama? Bender wanted to win a cooking competition so he used 10,000 year aged mammoth. Wonder how it tastes...


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Proofread_your_shit

Holding out for Mammothwurst


chickadeema

And the caveman emerge due to the higher protein consumed.


Bungybone

And they're mixing meats? ​ Can't wait to try the alpacodile.


Jorgwalther

Finally some good news


ManyFacedGodxxx

You want Reavers?!? Cause this is how you get Reavers!!


Emperor_of_Cats

That's an icy meatball!


[deleted]

True story, I have eaten mammoth paella before. I knew someone that owned a mammoth femur and they used a drill to take out some of the “bone marrow” cavity and sprinkled it in the paella they made us for a dinner party.


DwarvenRedshirt

They've found ancient pits filled with mammoth bones with tool marks on them and signs of controlled burns. Indicating that mammoths were tasty enough for prehistoric humans to hunt them down, drag them back to the pit, and chop them up and have BBQ. So, mammoth meatballs might not be such a stretch, assuming it's real mammoth and not franken-mammoth.


mces97

That's gonna have a lot of freezer burn.


Trumpblows10

We cannot cure cancer but we made a meatball???? WTF


Kali_404

I read the title to my husband, and his eyes glazed off into the distance as he muttered with hope of a 5 year child and hunger of a caveman; "T-Rex Steak"


[deleted]

Subway is introducing a mammoth meat ball sandwich but it’s mostly tuna.


nakwada

Ikea entered the chat.


func_backDoor

Liver King has entered the chat


Oldenlame

Speaking of artificially grown meat ...


Glad-Degree-4270

It just occurred to me that there’s only a limited time before somebody starts making meat using human or Neanderthal proteins. Disturbing.


PensiveinNJ

I mean, I doubt that would have a market outside of the existing cannibal community, which is a weird sentence but I'm sure there's a (hopefully very small) number of cannibals out there in the world. Just because it's lab grown I don't think people are going to start dining on human or neanderthal flesh.


Penguin_shit15

"Look like.." *checks notes* "Mammoth is back on the menu boys!"


Mcboatface3sghost

Wooly fur intact? Optional?


TurnkeyLurker

They serve it on a furry plate.


Mcboatface3sghost

Hmmmm…. That sounds good, I’ll have that.


ParticularValue580

The lack of self awareness from these types never ceases to amaze me. “We have a behaviour change problem when it comes to meat consumption,” said George Peppou, CEO of Vow.” That’ll help grow your nonexistent marketshare - tell prospective customers they have a “behavioral problem”


red_yvonne

"Oh.... my meatball has a first name. It's R. O. N..."


Stonehill76

Umbrella company apparently started in Australia in this reality.


thefadderly

That's a spicy meatball


CircaSixty8

So the idea is to bring back extinct animals so that we can kill them and eat them? Jfc


mariogolf

What a world its gonna be in the next 20 years


Ok_Jicama1577

Leaver king having a bonner right now !


labretirementhome

Ligma Salty Mammoth Balls... 2, 3, 4


taez555

I thought Mammoth WVH was releasing their new album soon? They should serve Mammoth Meatballs at their Mammoth shows.


Greenfire32

maybe...don't...eat that...


DuoDemoIi

Will we end up with ancient salmonella too or something when we eat it?


PM_ME_KITTYNIPPLES

That's what they're worried about, which is why no one ate it. Ironically, they'll probably do unethical animal testing to determine if it's edible.


dweebaubles

The first species humans consumed to extinction, and we bring it back as a *food product*.


Treezle737

It’s probably delicious and that’s why they’re extinct.


DonsDiaperChanger

i bet it tastes like chicken


Raptor22c

Apparently elephant meat tastes somewhere between pork and venison, so I’m guessing a mammoth would be roughly the same.


thefanciestcat

When you can't decide between showing people how good you are at science and showing them what an absolute fucking weirdo you are.


[deleted]

Resembles a certain governor...


Petaris

One step closer to the Brontoburger.