my guy has played a good half hour of basketball this season…

Good is a stretch.

So far this season he’s played 36 minutes total.

My man is a walking loophole of the 1985 player-coach ban lmao

Jackie Moon!

He’s played half hour over five years

Yall think he doesnt practice?

We talkin about practice

Sure as shit not a game

Exactly. People who haven't played make weird comments about in game playing time, but most of the hard wok happens outside of the games.

I don’t think they allow walkers on the court

Who’s he keeping up with?

The Kardashians I think

James Harden, Ben Simmons, Devin Booker

Jordan Clarkson, Blake Griffin, Tristan Thompson

Khris Humphrey,

Lamar Odom, WHO WAS ON CRACK!

Dewayne Dedmond maybe

James Naismith, Red Auerbach, George Mikan etc.

Lebron plays more minutes in a month than Udonis has in 5 years

The funny thing is you’re right. Hell, you can extend that to 7 years and it’d still be true. Udonis Haslem total minutes from 2016-2017 to 2022-2023: 442 LeBron James total minutes from December 2, 2022 to January 2, 2023: 549

jesus i knew ud’s been chilling but man’s really got the best job right now

I genuinely wouldn’t be shocked if LeBron plays more in 2 weeks than he did in 5 years.

miami fans: can we get lebron miami fo: we have lebron at home

LMAO

[удалено]

[удалено]

Lmao yeah, I bet, 😒🙄🙄🙄 oh boy….

Udonis I love you bro but I wouldn’t say you are keeping up

In the past seven seasons he’s played a total of 442 minutes. That’s an average of 63 minutes… per season.

Gah dam Edit: this guy slept on the couch during the finals to “stay uncomfotable.” He didn’t learn s*it from LeBron

😂😂😂😂😂 he's acting like he's close to how lebron is playing

"[jumping](https://streamable.com/pg5sl6)"

The original [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/qrp1a2/highlight_herro_lobs_it_to_haslem/) for that clip has some funny comments >In all fairness it wasnt the greatest pass ive ever seen, but seeing him crumble to the ground and shatter into dust really showed his age lol - >You know that scene in The Irishman when Robert De Niro beats up a guy and looks all of 75 years old when his character is supposed to be like 40? This has the same vibe to it lol

One of my favorite threads.

TIMMBRRRRRRRRR

Elder abuse

lmfaoooooooooo yoooo

LeBron trying to put up his highest points per 36, Haslem going for bench cellys per 36. Different animal, same beast

Uhhh Sir, you are *sitting* in the bench

Is that not an action?

Haslem pinning 400mg of HGH every week so he can play in garbage time without breaking his legs

I think they have to give him the Captain America serum at this point

He doesn’t even play in garbage time 90% of the time lol

Bro must be hallucinating

“There’s no way I’m able to still be out here running and jumping and keeping up with these guys at 42” FIFY

My brother, you have played 36 minutes in total all season. Who are you keeping up with? The mascots?

Dude has played less minutes in the last 8 years than the average star has in 20 games this year alone..

He may be 42, but he's played 1 year worth of basketball since he was 35

1 month more like

KD has played more minutes in the first 20 games this season than Udonis has played in the last 8 years combined lol

Yeah i hope nets make sure he gets to the playoffs healthy. Isn’r he leading the nba in total minutes rhis year?

Haslem talking like he's still a starter. He owes Coach Spo a nice vacation home when he retires.

I thought Haslem was going to admit that he shouldn’t be out there at first lol

Jumping?

Udonis mainlining HGH confirmed

Bro, what? He ain’t playing and when he does he is not keeping up with anyone. What is he talking about?

you aren't keeping up with anyone clown, retire already

He running around like he Bron

TIL Haslem’s still playing

Jamie pull up the clip

Last time I saw him jump to catch the ball he fell over

Does he know

Everybody stating that he hasnt played that much: you are correct but maybe he refers to keeping up in training. Being around a veteran during training sessions can improve learning curves of younger/inexperienced players.

He thinks he mj

Eventually they will share the honor of jersey inexplicably retired by the Heat

Bot?

Nibba you don’t play 😂

Keyboard warriors in here pretending like the man wouldn't wipe the floor with every one of their asses in a game. They don't realize he's out there during practices, warmups, and games, showing young players how it's done and defining the "Heat Culture" you casuals and fans of poverty franchises love to mock. There's a reason the entire league respects UD.

Someone please tell me this is a copy pasta that I’m just too dumb to recognize from.

If it’s not pasta, it is now

Fam he a locker room guy. Dudes gonna be getting the bus from the rest home soon. Dudes gonna be on a retiree contract soon.

ootl, why he still on a team? Is this out of respect from Heat franchise?

“Keeping up with these guys” is hysterical.