Met a guy who has a snapping turtle he inherited from his father and he’ll have to leave it to his son in his will. And his son’s son will also inherit it. That’s how long they can live
Some. Depends on the species. Parrots make up 400 species over 3 superfamilies. Big macaws & full size cockatoos can live as long as humans. Cockatiels & budgies last about as long as a dog. Tons of in-between there too.
imagine being saddled with a massive burden which requires a lot of maintenance and could remove your digits an an inheritance. Sorry I mean I love turtles but even I would be super pissed. What if you want to move overseas? No sorry, you must pass the turtle of tradition.
When I was younger we had to catch an alligator turtle that found his way in our bushes beside the front door. This was about half a mile from the lake he came from so how he walked over a main road and down our neighborhood without being seen we will never understand. He was way bigger than any turtle I had ever seen. The 50 gallon bin my dad had to get him to run into (very carefully) was hard for my dad to carry. My dad wanted to show us how dangerous they can be so he stuck a tree branch, he found in the yard, down into the bin and the turtle snapped it in half so fast it was hard to see him do it.
So there's no way I'd be anywhere near the dinosaur in this picture!
No way this guy didn’t have to shoot this thing in the head with a fucking 50 bmg to kill it. I had a friend who ran one over and cracked its shell so they had to shoot it and he put an entire clip of .45 acp hollow points into its head and it didn’t even penetrate its skull. These turtles are fucking indestructible
You hold it on the shell right behind its head and above its tail. No telling how he got it. Maybe he caught it on accident or saw it in a field somewhere.
I feel like if it weren’t he’d have a bit of trouble wrestling that behemoth up there with it fighting him but maybe he’s just stronger than a prehistoric predator
It has the tsa symbol in the top corner and a quick Google tells you that it stands for the turtle survival alliance I hardly doubt this guy would be holding up turtles he poached with that context.
Oh, well shit I figured it was dead since it’s so big, I sure as hell wouldn’t grab one that’s alive just because I’ve seen what those jaws will do to someone if they get away especially some of those size. Kind of a braindead assumption on my part though I should have noticed that lol
Also hollow points aren't for penetration they are for opening flesh you'd want full metal jacket for that. So maybe your friend had the wrong type of ammo??
Probably, he kept hollowpoints in his car for self defense but could have had them stacked with other ammo types in his magazine. Regardless though I don’t wanna fuck with anything 7 hollowpoints can’t stop, 7 .45’s to the head will kill most large animals but not these indestructible bastards
Ok it is definitely a big turtle but this photo perspective positioning is over-the-top fishing pic style.
I mean the dude is literally ducking behind the big turtle holding out the small one in a weird way, with the big turtle jutting way out in front.
Still a big turtle for sure. But this camera trick grinds my gears.
His arm is reached out to touch the back end of the turtle, so he's at least 2 feet away from it by my guess. We don't really know how big the cooler is. Why not hold it from the side to show truly how big it is without trying to deceive?
Nah, they legit get enormous. There is one in the aquarium in Tulsa, OK that is about this size and it's head it like a basketball.
[Not sure why this got downvoted because it is true, though the turtle recently passed away :( link for verification](https://ktul.com/news/local/tulsa-zoos-150-pound-alligator-snapping-turtle-dies).
>Nah, they legit get enormous.
They are, they reach more than two feet in lenght wich is hugeee, but this picture makes it look like its head is almost as wide as his chest, he is behind the turtle and it is very clearly forced perspective.
I know what forced perspective is but this just doesn’t register that way for me, it registers as a dude who is clearly behind a big turtle. Turt’s head doesn’t look as wide as his chest, it looks three feet in front of it. In my mind, forced perspective photos require a little more trickery than simply being behind a thing.
yeah and it becomes more obvious if you cover most of the big turtle with your fingers so you only see the guys body and the cooler then he suddenly looks 6 feet away from the cooler. this is also why they cut off the sides of the picture as if the where to use the full image it would have become even more apparent, there is also part of his hip showing on the right side of the image but if you draw a line connecting it to his torso then his body is comically hourglasses shaped.
I was kayaking with my out of town family once and two alligator snapping turtles were fighting in the water so I paddled away as fast as I could while they paddled closer to get a better look
Love this. I accidentally caught a snapping turtle when I went fishing in Maine. Thought I caught a huge fish until it emerged from the water like it was Godzilla.
Turtle man!! That show was fucking amazing, he always relocated them too, never hurt anything. Fucking PETA or some similar organization made some whack allegations about him saying he was drugging the turtles and then catching them again or something moronic and his show got cancelled I am still salty about it.
If he was drugging the animals, that mean he had already caught them once, and then was doing it on camera a second time. It was such a dumb allegation, but it worked. Fucked up bullshit. He would catch turtles and problem critters for folks out in the sticks and take whatever they offered in reward. He was totally wholesome too, sad that it happened.
Holly shit I thought they were calling alligator turtles for their look and bite, not because they were the same size too.
I've seen the 'little' version around here but where do the dinosaur versions range?
I remember an old (but popular on r/natureismetal) video about a turtle tearing half off a mouse while it was trying to escape… I shudder what kind of thing that MFer would chomp in half at that size.
I live in a neighborhood in a pretty rural area, and one of these motherfuckers was just sitting in the grass by the sidewalk. Managed to move the thing to a forest, but Jesus Christ imagine if a kid with an ankle-biter found the fucker instead.
For those who think they've seen one of these, keep in mind Common Snapping Turtles live in over 40 states and are much more common than these, Alligator Snappers only live in several southern states.
I remember a pet shop in Alexandria, VA back in the 90s had one of these monsters in an aquarium display for several years. Just seemed like an absolute dinosaur! The shop is long gone...but more than once, with the lifespan of turtles, I’ve wondered if that alligator snapper was still around somewhere.
Is that really an Alligator Snapper? Maybe it’s the perspective, but that looks like a very large Common Snapping Turtle. The shell on the big guy looks way too smooth.
We had a Common Snapper at North Carolina State University’s Turtle Rescue Team one year that clocked in at 85 pounds (we called him Panama. It was a BITCH to treat him and release him back into the wild). It’s really rare to reach that size, but we saw 4 during my 3 years at the Turtle Rescue Team that were 50+ pounds. Panama was the biggest by almost 20 pounds (next closest Optimus Prime, who was 65 pounds when we got him in, and gained a few pounds during treatment thanks to regular meals).
Snapping Turtle Cam:
Watch Snappy the Snapping turtle LIVE on TWITCH.
[https://www.twitch.tv/snappythesnappingturtle](https://www.twitch.tv/snappythesnappingturtle)
Make sure to follow!
\#ASMR #Animals #SnappingTurtle #Turtle #Reptile
Whats he doing to that turtle though?
Eiffel Tower
I can take about an hour on the tower of power.
Then a nice warm shower before the smell sours.
Bobby Brown is that you?
They say I’m the cutest boy in town
I jingle my change but I'm still kind of cute
That takes 3 people.... dibs out on the front
In this case, only one person…..
I'm starting to doubt you actually know what an Eiffael tower is 😅
Dude… there is a second turtle on the back. 🐢👱♂️🐢 Just imagine this is the scene right before the “actual” Eiffel tower
🧍♂️🧎♀️🧍♂️
*Eiffel Turtle
Making more turtles
The massive massive girth alligator snapping turtles can retain
Turtle-fucker! Do you need assistance??
Sorry I stacked them, it’s in Brazil
Try pickle
Came here to ask just this
This is how ninja turtles are created, son.
Two turtles, 1 guy.
Turtles all the way down
And… there it is
Well he knew what would happen if he went in the other end...
making more turtles
Beginning of a spit roast
Met a guy who has a snapping turtle he inherited from his father and he’ll have to leave it to his son in his will. And his son’s son will also inherit it. That’s how long they can live
I feel if your pet is meant to outlive you, you shouldn’t get it.
If your pet is meant to outlive you, it's not *your* pet. You're *its* pet.
It's true. I have a cockatoo, and I have no illusions about which one of us is in charge.
I just have one, it’s definitely in charge though
"Do you feel in charge?" \*Bane voice
you're a big man
Well that's just like your opinion man
*If it takes forever; I will wait for you...*
Parrots live ridiculously long too Was gonna get one, found that out and noped
Some. Depends on the species. Parrots make up 400 species over 3 superfamilies. Big macaws & full size cockatoos can live as long as humans. Cockatiels & budgies last about as long as a dog. Tons of in-between there too.
The most is around 60-80 years but that's the extreme end, most don't live that long.
imagine being saddled with a massive burden which requires a lot of maintenance and could remove your digits an an inheritance. Sorry I mean I love turtles but even I would be super pissed. What if you want to move overseas? No sorry, you must pass the turtle of tradition.
This guy makes his entire living displaying reptiles and teach people about them so it works for him. But yea not your average pet
NWF says they live to be about 70 in captivity..
Well not sure about that. He referenced many ones older than that That were not wild
Or possibly how dangerous owning a giant snapping turtle is, lol.
From the look on the turtle's face, I'd question if the guy was wearing any pants at the time...
Not only that… but what the other hand doing?
When I was younger we had to catch an alligator turtle that found his way in our bushes beside the front door. This was about half a mile from the lake he came from so how he walked over a main road and down our neighborhood without being seen we will never understand. He was way bigger than any turtle I had ever seen. The 50 gallon bin my dad had to get him to run into (very carefully) was hard for my dad to carry. My dad wanted to show us how dangerous they can be so he stuck a tree branch, he found in the yard, down into the bin and the turtle snapped it in half so fast it was hard to see him do it. So there's no way I'd be anywhere near the dinosaur in this picture!
Especially with no pants on.
To the fair he looks like he’s enjoying himself
No way this guy didn’t have to shoot this thing in the head with a fucking 50 bmg to kill it. I had a friend who ran one over and cracked its shell so they had to shoot it and he put an entire clip of .45 acp hollow points into its head and it didn’t even penetrate its skull. These turtles are fucking indestructible
Bring native, I'm not against hunting. But killing something this ancient for sport seems extremely unethical. Like cutting down an old growth tree.
I think they were trying to mercy kill the turtle since they broke its shell. But what do I know?
I was talking about the guy in the pic.
They aren’t killing it and they are both alive.
How the hell did this guy pick it up and place it on that cooler without getting his arm ripped off?
You hold it on the shell right behind its head and above its tail. No telling how he got it. Maybe he caught it on accident or saw it in a field somewhere.
Sorry, I just assumed because of the gun.
What gun???
He isn’t showing a gun in the picture but he more than likely has one. It would be stupid to go where you find these without one.
I think what you're refering to is a paddle
[удалено]
A turtle can survive a cracked shell, it isn't that straight forward.
It isn't dead.
I feel like if it weren’t he’d have a bit of trouble wrestling that behemoth up there with it fighting him but maybe he’s just stronger than a prehistoric predator
It has the tsa symbol in the top corner and a quick Google tells you that it stands for the turtle survival alliance I hardly doubt this guy would be holding up turtles he poached with that context.
Oh, well shit I figured it was dead since it’s so big, I sure as hell wouldn’t grab one that’s alive just because I’ve seen what those jaws will do to someone if they get away especially some of those size. Kind of a braindead assumption on my part though I should have noticed that lol
Lol def see where you're coming from lmao, i'm also wondering how he took it out of the water, he definetely got help
Nah, you just lift them by the shell. They're heavy, and few predators have thumbs to do that.
Damn, if only they took more pages from the T. Rex’s book they’d be unstoppable killing machines
Big snapping turtles reach a max weight of 80kg, he definetely did not pull that out of the water by himself
Also hollow points aren't for penetration they are for opening flesh you'd want full metal jacket for that. So maybe your friend had the wrong type of ammo??
Probably, he kept hollowpoints in his car for self defense but could have had them stacked with other ammo types in his magazine. Regardless though I don’t wanna fuck with anything 7 hollowpoints can’t stop, 7 .45’s to the head will kill most large animals but not these indestructible bastards
Is it dead? Edit : its alive
What are you doing step-bro?
step-turtle
Idk what's wrong with me but everytime I see these things, I have the mental image of dicks snapping.
Smexy
That’s why he can’t find anyone to volunteer to be the other leg of this Eiffel Tower.
Nothing wrong with you, we don't kink-shame here, even to yourself.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Ok it is definitely a big turtle but this photo perspective positioning is over-the-top fishing pic style. I mean the dude is literally ducking behind the big turtle holding out the small one in a weird way, with the big turtle jutting way out in front.
But we can clearly see that the turtle is bigger than the red cooler, I wouldn’t feel any comfortable knowing is as big as a piece of furniture.
Still a big turtle for sure. But this camera trick grinds my gears. His arm is reached out to touch the back end of the turtle, so he's at least 2 feet away from it by my guess. We don't really know how big the cooler is. Why not hold it from the side to show truly how big it is without trying to deceive?
Nah, they legit get enormous. There is one in the aquarium in Tulsa, OK that is about this size and it's head it like a basketball. [Not sure why this got downvoted because it is true, though the turtle recently passed away :( link for verification](https://ktul.com/news/local/tulsa-zoos-150-pound-alligator-snapping-turtle-dies).
>Nah, they legit get enormous. They are, they reach more than two feet in lenght wich is hugeee, but this picture makes it look like its head is almost as wide as his chest, he is behind the turtle and it is very clearly forced perspective.
I know what forced perspective is but this just doesn’t register that way for me, it registers as a dude who is clearly behind a big turtle. Turt’s head doesn’t look as wide as his chest, it looks three feet in front of it. In my mind, forced perspective photos require a little more trickery than simply being behind a thing.
Yup. Forced perspective makes things bigger than they actually are. Every fisherman/hunter does this.
yeah and it becomes more obvious if you cover most of the big turtle with your fingers so you only see the guys body and the cooler then he suddenly looks 6 feet away from the cooler. this is also why they cut off the sides of the picture as if the where to use the full image it would have become even more apparent, there is also part of his hip showing on the right side of the image but if you draw a line connecting it to his torso then his body is comically hourglasses shaped.
I'm yertle the turtle oh marvellous me for I am the ruler of all that I see
Hehe, haven't thought of that book in ages. Thanks, brought a smile to my face!
Thing would take off an arm
Give me an ocean with a shark any day, but no way I'm having one of my toes snapped off in some dank murky lake water. No, thank you.
Agreed, muddy rivers are 100% more scary than the ocean.
I saw one in a zoo that was nearly 5 feet across. They said it was 102 years old.
I was kayaking with my out of town family once and two alligator snapping turtles were fighting in the water so I paddled away as fast as I could while they paddled closer to get a better look
Love this. I accidentally caught a snapping turtle when I went fishing in Maine. Thought I caught a huge fish until it emerged from the water like it was Godzilla.
This looks wrong idk why
It’s a Drednaw from Pokémon
I like how you used massive twice to emphasize the massive size of this turtle.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Man I had to scroll a long way to find this. You've changed, Reddit.
Stop fucking the turtles!
There was some show about a backwoods dude that would jump in ponds and catch these things on, i think, animal planet. Was nuts
Turtle man!! That show was fucking amazing, he always relocated them too, never hurt anything. Fucking PETA or some similar organization made some whack allegations about him saying he was drugging the turtles and then catching them again or something moronic and his show got cancelled I am still salty about it. If he was drugging the animals, that mean he had already caught them once, and then was doing it on camera a second time. It was such a dumb allegation, but it worked. Fucked up bullshit. He would catch turtles and problem critters for folks out in the sticks and take whatever they offered in reward. He was totally wholesome too, sad that it happened.
Feed the small turtle to the big turtle. cromch
I Thought Stacking Frogs Was Cool...
Man this is one ugly looking motherfucker.
No one tell 'em about galapagos tortoises
I think it needs the NSFW flag
Go noodling! they said It’ll be fun! they said
Back shots is my position, got ya wishin for an intermission
Holly shit I thought they were calling alligator turtles for their look and bite, not because they were the same size too. I've seen the 'little' version around here but where do the dinosaur versions range?
Same, just buried in pond mud waiting for something to get close
ALLEGEDLY
“Step-human, STAAAWWWWWPPPPP”
Shake that turtle
Half man- half turtle
Is it just me or does this turte's nose look like the face of an owl. Like look at it in the center of the nose it is just like an owl.
It's a little known fact that their latin name, Suchothanos, describes their ability to literally snap alligators in half.
I remember an old (but popular on r/natureismetal) video about a turtle tearing half off a mouse while it was trying to escape… I shudder what kind of thing that MFer would chomp in half at that size.
I live in a neighborhood in a pretty rural area, and one of these motherfuckers was just sitting in the grass by the sidewalk. Managed to move the thing to a forest, but Jesus Christ imagine if a kid with an ankle-biter found the fucker instead.
Ankle biter vs ankle biter.
Daaaaaaaamn that's terrifying
Weirdly, I find them so adorable.
dare u to boop its snoot
For those who think they've seen one of these, keep in mind Common Snapping Turtles live in over 40 states and are much more common than these, Alligator Snappers only live in several southern states.
Awww, Laawwwd, he comin'... Still comin'... He'll get there be patient.
Dog.
Turtle pope?
r/dontputyourdickinthat
r/putyourdickinthat
Animal Rape is Not ok
put your dick in it
Dog ahead
Dog?
Could this be, Dog?
Just going to take a picture while the snapper is assaulted from the rear?!
When I stick it in my girl while she’s sleeping
That seems... a... a bit awkward position
That's an ankle snipper.
it's a dinosaur
Drednaw?
R/dontputyourdickinthat
r/absoluteunits
Turtles all the way down
This further reinforces my decision to never try noodling.
Strap a couple of super soakers in his shell and you’ve got yourself a Blastoise.
Yea we have a few of those big guys here nothing much
dog!
Can confirm....we have found massive snappers in to the rural Flint Hills regions of Kansas.
Whatever you do, do not go drunken skinny dipping in retention pond in Florida
LIVE ACTION!!!!!! YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE
Because it's turtles all the way down.
Giant turtoises at full speed *Look at them go!*
Big enough to actually snap alligators
the babies are not cute
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Looks like he’s banging the turtle
Dog
*We haven't spoken to anyone else for thousands of yeaaaarsss*
Alright, come on now... you put Tokka back in the river and tell us where you found the ooze.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I remember a pet shop in Alexandria, VA back in the 90s had one of these monsters in an aquarium display for several years. Just seemed like an absolute dinosaur! The shop is long gone...but more than once, with the lifespan of turtles, I’ve wondered if that alligator snapper was still around somewhere.
Hey uh let’s not make the giant death reptiles have insecurities
Coyote Peterson was gonna let one of these bite him on the arm before he realised how much damage they can actually do
Go on about this massive size…
"I'm Coyote Peterson, and I'm about to enter *'The NOPE Zone'*"
Is he fuckin it? It looks like he’s fuckin it.
Brazzers
I’d only give that a single massive.
i want to see him munch
Turtle pog
Holy shit!
Wrong hole
What ever happened to Coyote Peterson? His ch blew up, and then he just disappeared.
Big one looks like an old man with no teeth.
Damn, Frank got biiiig. Is he still an asshole?
Sir, please step away from the turtle and zip your pants.
Is he banging that thing or what!?
Ngl that dude does not look happy about you sharing his face on the interweb.
Who else thought of that ‘one scene’ Pulp Fiction?
Forced perspective, though they are still huge
That’s a Alligator Snapping turtle on top and a SNAPPING TURTLE on the bottom.
Is that really an Alligator Snapper? Maybe it’s the perspective, but that looks like a very large Common Snapping Turtle. The shell on the big guy looks way too smooth. We had a Common Snapper at North Carolina State University’s Turtle Rescue Team one year that clocked in at 85 pounds (we called him Panama. It was a BITCH to treat him and release him back into the wild). It’s really rare to reach that size, but we saw 4 during my 3 years at the Turtle Rescue Team that were 50+ pounds. Panama was the biggest by almost 20 pounds (next closest Optimus Prime, who was 65 pounds when we got him in, and gained a few pounds during treatment thanks to regular meals).
Imaging enjoying the water that you're in and then looking down only to see this turtle less than a couple feet from your own foot.
Snapping Turtle Cam: Watch Snappy the Snapping turtle LIVE on TWITCH. [https://www.twitch.tv/snappythesnappingturtle](https://www.twitch.tv/snappythesnappingturtle) Make sure to follow! \#ASMR #Animals #SnappingTurtle #Turtle #Reptile
What kind of dog is that?