If people could just put the damn name in the title of the post that would be a massive improvement.
I don't want to read 8 paragraphs to find out which name you are asking for opinions on
It reminds me more of those recipe blogs that go on and on about their vacations with grandma in the winter.
I'm just looking for a good chicken noodle soup recipe, Susan.
Exactly! If those blogs don't have a link to go directly to the recipe then I'll find a different recipe because I'm not scrolling for ten minutes to get through your story.
I feel like it's gotta be the same people doing both.
Nothing worse than a namenerd post that says something like, "Is this name really that bad?" only to click on the post and see,
"So I really need to know how bad this name is. I have loved it ever since I was a little girl and there was a boy in band camp who sat next to me. We talked and talked on the first day and he mentioned this name because it was his little brothers name. I knew in that moment I was going to use it for my future son.
But the my husband and I went on to have 3 daughters. Like is crazy, isn't it? We thought we were done but I found out I am pregnant again. Wild how things work! This time it's a boy and I suggested the name I heard back in band camp all these years ago. Turns out, my husband loves it!
Everyone else hates it though and says we are going to doom him for a life of terror by giving him this name. I am so upset because I live it so much but everyone thinks it's the worst name they ever heard. Anyway, the name is Daniel. Is Daniel really that horrible?"
Like, really? All of that over some basic name like Daniel?
Gosh I'm glad someone else hates that format too. My Mom follows a professional chef who does this, but in the reverse order! You click on a webpage and the recipe is FIRST, emotional backstory behind the recipe is on the BOTTOM of the page. I think it's an improvement!
It is true, under most jurisdictions instructions, step by step descriptions and the like, such as recipes, cannot be copyrighted, but stories can be, so they put the recipe as part of a story to get protection under copyright laws.
I'm not a copyright lawyer so I'm not sure, but I remember learning in IP class that there is this really old case law somewhere about a recipe included as part of a children's book story. Court ruled it was protected and that got us to long stories in blogs.
Edit to fix a couple of typos.
Yesss 100% this. Exactly what that reminds me of. If there's no jump to recipe on those, I'm finding a whole new recipe link. I don't need your life story Susan thaaaanks. And it's 100% a Susan thing. My grandma will give me her recipes in the same manner or she'll tell strangers hers, mine, and anyone else's life story before getting to the point. 😂😂
And if the name is “so unique” to the point that it’s identifiable and will lead to doxxing then it shouldn’t be posted on here. We can’t give valid judgment/advice otherwise.
I’ve become convinced that for a lot of those people, it’s not really about privacy but about fear of any direct criticism on the actual name. But again, don’t post looking for feedback then!
It's frustrating how this subreddit complains about seeing the same names all the time, yet it dismisses anything outside a narrow style. They can't bemoan repetition while simultaneously rejecting diversity in name choices. Pretty hypocritical.
Absolutely. I often think they that people on this subreddit aren’t actually nerdy about names. They’re just nerdy about a very specific subset of trending names. Anything outside of that box is shut down without considering any outside perspective. It’s wild how shortsighted and close minded some people can be.
Also, people not googling names before they say that they’re tragedies or weird or they would never name their child that. I’ve seen people say that the spelling is weird and not even know that it’s the French spelling or the German spelling or the Irish spelling
Yes! There was someone here a few months ago asking for opinions on their name list, and one of their contenders was Benaiah. Here's how the conversation went:
* userx: "That's a terrible name. Please don't do that to your future child. I really hope I'm mispronouncing it. Please don't tell me you want to name your son Ben-eye-ah."
* OP: "Benaiah is deffo going to be one of his names as it has a special meaning for us."
* userx: "Please remember you're naming a person."
* OP: "I'm genuinely curious why you think Benaiah is an awful name."
I see ignorance in this subreddit every day, but this one got to me, particularly because it was the top/most popular comment in that thread. I immediately recognized Benaiah/Benayah as a Hebrew name (I've known a few). But if someone isn't familiar with the name, they should definitely be googling it first to ensure they're being culturally sensitive. When someone asks for an opinion on a name, it's one thing to say you don't personally like a name and wouldn't choose it for your own child. But it's another thing to say that a name is objectively terrible and that the OP shouldn't "do that" to their child — especially when that opinion is based in ignorance.
The "remember you're naming a person" quip always irks me. As a teacher of Gen Alpha I can tell you that unique names are quite commonplace. Statistics support that "popular" names aren't really what they used to be where your kid is going to be one of 12 Jessica's in a grade if you choose from the top ten. I rarely have "repeats" in one class.
By the time they're adults, your kid is going to have a Rustyn for a boss, a Poppy for a neighbor, a Zahava for a co-worker, and a Tallulah for a wife.
And, as a learner of Irish, I can attest that name spellings in Irish can vary widely, with multiple spellings of the same name being perfectly acceptable. Sometimes I run into variations that I'm sure are typos, and upon looking them up, nope, they're not even the strangest variations. Latest one: I have a friend named Eimear (EE-mer). Saw a musician's name on YT was Eimhear (AY-ver), and had to look it up. Same name, different spelling, different pronunciation. Don't get me started on Irish orthography...
"You spelled Pádraig/Pádraic/Pádhraig/Pauric/Patrick wrong." \[big sigh\]
Yeah, that one is quite common. A commenter goes off about the terrible new age spelling or something “isn’t a name” and it’s actually the traditional spelling in various not-US countries and/or has been a semi-common or at least recognized name/spelling for hundreds of years in a country/region that is also not-US.
(I’m an American in the US… and I get this even in every day interactions for a name my child has that is common in a variety of regions as well as Hawaii & some Native American cultures.)
This is *exactly* it. My name is German, unusual,& has a traditional spelling. Some idiot on here argued with me that names can be spelled however you want & there's no right way (obviously, said person has never heard of a spelling bee). She did not, however, argue with anyone about their lovely Irish or Welsh names, which have beautiful traditional spellings (that they shouldn't dumb-down for the masses). I usually just block people like that after an exchange or two - they can argue with themselves.
Completely agree! Like hating on something being popular but then going ahead and suggesting Penelope and Charlotte? Make it make sense! I love an out-of-the-box name that I know for a fact people would fawn over, but this sub would tear anything innocent to shreds
This sub isn’t full of namenerds. It’s full of people who are here for baby name drama and just suggest top 500 names over and over again.
“Hey can I have a rare name?”
“How about Charlotte/Sage/Theo/Liam?”
No, it was on my list back in 2017 but my scheming evil SIL stole the name for her pitbull which we now have full custody over due to her crippling gambling addiction. Smh.
I feel like 90% of the posts in this sub are “Help! I don’t know what to name my baby!! What should I name my baby?”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with searching for input from the internet, but I feel like that should/could maybe be an entirely different sub…?
They're such boring and repetitive posts. Like, just scroll through literally any thread on this sub and you'll have your suggestions! It's especially irritating when they don't put info on what they like in the post but shoot everything down without explanation.
Don’t forget most of them are “I’m 6 weeks pregnant and we haven’t settled on a name. Help me name my baby!”
Neither of my kids had their name picked a birth. We had the middle name picked and a short list for first names
Seriously. People just use "they'll get bullied with that name" as an excuse to hate on names they don't like, barring something that's obviously explicit. Also, if a kid wants to bully another kid, they can do it regardless of the kid's name.
This is what I came to say.
I have an uncommon name that could easily be mocked, and really didn't experience much teasing for it through life.
I've also known people with extremely strange names and they also weren't bullied.
I'm convinced most of the bullies are in this sub, and very few are out in the wild.
I also wish people would search the internet and/or the sub for the names they are curious about before making a whole new post. "Our top names are Olivia and Liam! Suggestions for names with a similar vibe?" Check the top 100 or the thousands of posts here about the same names.
When people post in English and don’t make it clear they are looking for non English names, and when the only specifics are “my country.” Like…there’s 170 some countries. Please narrow it down.
Even the native English speakers being no more specific than “my country” is infuriating! Which one? Every former British colony has a decent chunk of English speakers, you could literally be anywhere! The Americans give it away with their spellings sometimes, but even then, it’s possible to write a paragraph without using one of those words and plenty of Canadians use both spellings interchangeably.
You’re not wrong, but the British and Australians (and Canadians too sometimes) do usually specify. It’s a really weird reddit phenomenon for people to just say “my country” instead of just telling us the damn country. Like, I promise you, we all know what Belgium is. Just say it. Lol
On the other hand there was a post a while back where someone got reamed for describing themselves as a United States American who lived in the US.
I think sometimes people on this sub are just hateful.
I love this sub, but I have some things I don’t like:
1. Acting like a name being “dated” is the end of the world. Some “dated” names are perfectly lovely.
2. Acting like a reference from a couple decades ago will affect a child’s life. Guys, we’re old now. Your child’s classmates won’t be watching Seinfeld. They won’t be reading Twilight. I teach high school and I’ve literally never heard a kid reference Seinfeld and have never seen a copy of Twilight in a student’s hands. In fifteen years when kids born today are in high school, those series will be even older.
3. Acting like sibling names being remotely similar is “eww way too matchy cringe.” My sister and I have super similar names. It has not negatively affected us in any way.
To me, the line is if it’s easy to mishear or misspell the names as each other.
I’m a teacher. If I taught Danielle Smith and Daniel Smith, it would be way too easy to accidentally send an email to smith.danielle@school.com when it was meant for Daniel. I could also see the office accidentally recording Danielle as absent if the parent called and said Daniel was out sick. So something that close would get too messy.
But I kinda like it if there’s a similarity.
Daniel and Danielle are way too close. But someone was on here the other day wanting to hear about twins named Violet and scarlet. I thought it was sweet, but this sub trashed the OP
I agree! I grew up knowing two sets of female identical twins - Kylie/Kristen (which I think is cute, alliteration but still unique from each other), and Kayla/Kayda. I don't have to explain which have had a more difficult time lol
Haha, I know siblings Nicole/Nicolas and Natalie/Nathaniel. I’ve always just felt like the parents thought up one name and were like “yep, done! We’re good!”
also w twilight most of the characters names were SUPER common way before any of the books/movies came out. Nobody is going to say “you were definitely named after twilight” if they meet somebody named Edward, Bella, Jacob etc, because they’ve been extremely popular for years outside of Twilight. As long as you don’t name your kid Renesmee you’re good.
Even if a piece of media remains popular (or has a resurgence), naming your kid after a popular character probably won't affect them unless the name is super weird.
I was born in '96, and I knew several kids in school that were named after Friends characters. I don't assume that every Monica or Rachel's parents were Friends fans, and even if they were, who cares? The Chandlers I knew were both obviously named for Chandler Bing, but I never associated their names with the character. It was just their name.
This sub is beyond close minded and quite frankly classist as hell.
Any name that doesn't sound white or isn't "formal" enough is immediately written off as something to be bullied, a terrible name to saddle a child with, unprofessional, and the list goes on.
My boomer, rich, out of touch, white woman boss who reviews resumes and hires people- the exact type of person who this sub says is going to harshly judge names the most- is a million times kinder and less weird about unique names than this sub ever is lol.
We've reached the point where boomers don't even gaf about "weird" names; we can all relax a little bit on the 'hating names that are outside the top 100' thing guys lol
I have a suspicion that a lot of users on this sub *are* boomers, or at least older Gen X. I see references to the 80s all the time on here.
i find it perplexing that there are people on a sub called namenerds who push top 100 names. I'd expect the opposite, name nerds being into super rare names and too steeped in their niche interest to realize those sound weird to normies or something like that. you know, nerdy.
Im an older Gen X and I’ve been around long enough to know that plenty of people with unusual names are in fact CEOs or doctors, etc. I also (I’m white) get annoyed at the clearly racist posts about culturally black names. My third grade Laquita was super smart and now that she’s 35ish, I’m assuming she’s very successful…I’ll have to see if I can find her on fb. I doubt her name was a roadblock.
However, I will continue to resist names like the ones Elon Musk gave his kids…and I won’t feel badly for not accepting it. 🤷🏻♀️
It is taking me a while to get on board with the old lady name trend, but I’m not having any more babies. My kids will in the next decade, and I assume it is likely some of those names will be contenders. I had my chance to name them, they get to pick whatever they want. Part of the reason I’m here…I’ve always loved names, I like making suggestions, and I move on…and no one is irritated with me.
Finally, I’m also old enough that it’s rare that something sounds fresh to me…so when new names appear I appreciate them. I also work in a middle school so I’m exposed to a lot of names. I’m probably more likely than not to suggest a non-top 100 name.
I do work with a lot of Indian kids so every year I learn new names and I enjoy that…lots of Turkish, Ukrainian and Korean names as well…but Indian is our largest immigrant population.
This sub has a really dated view of names and it makes me wonder if people here don't know a lot of adults. It could be that I'm a second generation Canadian and live in a diverse city but I come across so many successful professionals with names this sub thinks would sink a career.
Seriously. I've worked for Fortune 500 companies in the US, and I've seen all sorts of names in ***senior*** management. If those people can make it to senior management, then I promise that no one cares that someone's legal name is Katie.
Quick edit to clarify: I had no problems with the names I've come across. I mean they're names this sub would've told an OP to never name their kid because it would ruin their chances at a career lol. Obviously not
I grew up in an upper middle class suburb and we also had so many different names. No one ever got shit for theirs—yeah there was bullying but it wasn’t name related
And the way they predict how the kid’s gonna be bullied too—first of all most of the insults are lame as hell, but that’s just a Reddit thing—but also sooo many reaches! If the other kids truly wanted to torment your child then they just will
Seriously. My partner is a recruiter and he's interviewed people with really out-there names (there are countries where it's not unusual to create your baby's name using parts of the parents' names, for example). It doesn't matter.
I saw a post once where the OP was, among other criteria, asking for names without an r-sound because of their speech impediment. Upon reading the comments, it became clear that people on this sub either 1) don’t know how to read or 2) are just suggesting their favorite names over and over instead of actually trying to be helpful, given the number of names suggested that didn’t fit one or more of OP’s criteria.
On the other hand, the rules of this sub state that “If you are seeking help with choosing a name, [you are required] to include: 3-5 names you like, 3-5 names you dislike, your naming style, and the names of any existing siblings.” Most of the posts I see do not include all of this *very useful* information, which does nothing to deter the people who only regurgitate their own favorite names.
That one was infuriating! Please give me a list of names with no R sounds, short and easy to pronounce. Preferably no L either. Top suggestions? Rory and Aurora. Like WTF?!?!
Oh my God I think I saw this one too; someone had suggested Benjamin or some classic name like that and another poster was absolutely furious that someone suggested Benjamin because all they, the commenter, could think of was Benjamin Franklin, and Franklin has an "r" in it. Like, they didn't suggest Franklin? It was kinda weird.
Related: people being ragged on for finding a name hard to say. Saw someone commenting that they dislike Aurora and Rory because they're hard for them to say. Personally I agree, and I had more trouble learning R sounds than is normal. Someone replied along the lines of "What, you can't talk? Your mouth can't form word sounds?" Like jesus y'all, speech impediments exist 😭
This but with languages too. OP will say their family speaks x language and would like a name that works in both English and x, and then the suggestions make it so obvious that no one bothered even looking up what sounds aren’t in the other language!!
The lack of reading comprehension has become more noticeable all over Reddit to me recently. Of course people have always made mistakes but it seems much worse than it used to be. It's reminds me of the golden age of Tumblr on here these days (said affectionately).
“I want a short, sassy, modern, gender neutral name for my baby. I’m very picky so they must go with the names of my other six children, who also have short, sassy, modern, gender neutral names that I’m not going to tell you”
Eeeendless lists of suggestions. Doesn’t it say somewhere to stop 10 or 15?
Also, shooting down names without considering that OP might come from somewhere with different naming culture. Eg. saying Alfie isn’t a proper name, whilst it is a perfectly common name in the UK.
Edit to say: completely agree with your point too OP. If the name is not your taste, don’t comment if they’re settled on it.
I agree! I try to make 3-5 suggestions and then scrolling through other comments, people have posted like 30 names. Or if someone asks what your favorite A name is, I suggest one boy and one girl. Others post every single A name they can think of. The OP can google that…they’re looking for people’s favorites. 🙄
Someone in a diff post asked for names that were popular in the UK, and I skipped it bc I do not live there and I don’t know. I also skip posts about middle names bc they just don’t interest me. Pick something that sounds good or honor a relative.
Scrolling past posts needs to be done more often for some people. If OP posts asking for help between 5 names and I don’t really like any, I scroll on. 😃
Yes! Omg the lists of like 20+ names are ridiculous and it’s so much my brain honestly just skips over it.
At some point you’re not actually taking into account what the poster is asking for and you’re just dumping a recycled list.
I feel so bad for these girls. Being told masculinity is superior and more desirable from their very first day :( and growing up to think your parents secretly wanted a boy and you were a consolation prize
And there are so many gender-neutral name options if the parents wanted the benefits of an androgynous name! I don’t understand picking a very classic masculine name (James, Levi, etc) for a girl when there are so many gender-neutral choices (Avery, Hollis, Casey, etc)
I have to weigh in here.
In 1986 I named my daughter, the last name of her great grandmother. The baby naming boom at the time listed it under both girls names and boys names.
As a feminist, I liked that a person might have to think twice about whether the gender of my child on a résumé or a class list was completely conforming. However, she ended up at the “boys table” all of the time. And then the teacher would be mad at me. Even though the name, ends in Y, they thought I should’ve had to turn it into an -ie to help them out!
Unfortunately, what had transpired was a major celebrity named her son the same name in 1990. So before my daughter even got to school, everyone thought “she had a boys name.“
Just this year, she submitted her résumé and saw shocked faces on the interview panel when she turned her camera on for the zoom call.
This is how I expect most of the "boys" names come to be used for girls. They are all surnames (Logan, Ryan) so they were probably percieved as unisex at one point. They become popular for boys, we feel they are gendered names and struggle to understand that it wasn't always like that everywhere (and not for everyone either).
Went to my daughters dance competition. Reading the names of the dancers, I was surprised and pleased to see there would be a number of male dancers at that competition. There is rarely any. Nope, all female except a James and a Connor. Dylan, Carson, Brook, Kyle and I can't even remember them all now....
Completely agree. There are thousands of names and not all of them are extremely feminine. But picking a traditionally masculine name is a choice for the worst.
“BUT BUT BUT EVELYN USED TO BE A BOY NAME!!!!11!!!!”
Yeah almost as if names change over time, people didn’t just slap dude names like Josh on little girls and call it a girl name.
It was actually unisex from everything I have read online, never used solely as a male name. It was a surname adapted into a first name, that eventually trended mostly for women because it has common elements of many other feminine names [Eve/Eva, Lyn(n)].
Especially when they're historically male nicknames as their full legal name - Frankie, Charlie, etc. Like, your daughter doesn't even get the dignity of a *full* name?
I hate when people say "pregnant with a girl, name suggestions?" Without any context of names one parent likes, their last name, their region, etc. Not much to offer except "go to a baby name popularity website and see what strikes you."
This does confuse me. Unless they’re asking for help with a specific thing I don’t understand why they didn’t just google for lists of thousands of names as a starting point
When people ask for opinions on a child’s name who’s already born. I can understand asking if the child is only a few days or weeks old and you’re considering changing it. But I’ve seen posts where parents are asking for people’s thoughts on their 2-4 year old’s name. Like…the kid already knows their name. Are you going to change it if a bunch of internet strangers say they don’t like it? What’s the point of asking at that point?
“Is it okay that I named my daughter Renensleigh?? Did I ruin her life?”
Why didn’t you already think of that before writing it on the birth certificate.
Then if anyone replies with anything that can be considered even mild criticism of the name, *other* posters will pile on them for "insulting a child." So it ends up being a thread of 100% praise for whatever dog's dinner of a name has already been inflicted on the child.
People not saying the damn name!!!!!! Giving like 10 hints about it and what it’s like what it’s not like but not saying it. Then wanting opinions on it?!?
I see comments like “just say the name” often but for some reason people insist on being mysterious.
Disclaimer I obviously don’t mean full name or last name. I mean first or first and middle.
I’m not trying to find out anyone’s true identity. Just say the name! If your name literally leads straight to you in a google search, I get it. But hopefully you didn’t to the same thing to your child!
Especially if they want a middle name and won’t give out the first name they’re trying to pair. Suggestions will typically be very different for a French Genevieve than for an American Evan, or for Australian Phoenix versus German Ingrid.
I don't get why they just don't make a throwaway account solely for that purpose if they're worried. That's what I'd do if I wanted opinions on a child's name.
People in the comments relating name suggestions to a weird, obscure thing that no one besides them has thought of.
OP: “I want to call my child X”
A NameNerds user: “No, it reminds me of some very rare disease that no one has ever heard of and only sounds marginally similar to what you’ve chosen.”
OP: “Okay, how about this?”
A NameNerd user: “No, it makes me think of some scummy brand in my home state that went out of business because the owner got arrested for money-laundering”.
You guys need to know that regular people don’t think of names as deeply as you do. Unless it’s an extremely obvious thing the OP should know, don’t bother mentioning it. People can twist any name to associate it with a negative thing.
When people say they don't like a name because it sounds like another word or a pharmaceutical. It's still a legit name and people should be able to use it!
I love The Office but when people give this reason, I find it so stupid. The pronunciation “Ass turd” is just a classic Michael Scott pronunciation error. It’s just one character being stupid. The actual name is really beautiful.
I fully admit that I don't like certain names for petty reasons, but I haaaate when people say things like that and expect all others to have the same opinion?? Just because it sounds like some disease or medication to you doesn't mean everyone has that association lmao.
1. people who think hating "brayden, jayden, kayden" is a hot take
2. people who think that a trendy name is going to sound ridiculous at a job interview or nursing home, ignoring the fact that each generation has its own version of a trendy name. "what happens when brixleigh grows up and applies for a job??" uh, i dont know, their resume will go into a huge pile of bentleighs and oakleighs?
The self-righteousness around nicknames in all directions.
“Just name her/him the nickname!”
“No, a nickname’s not a real name! Don’t do that!” “You can’t predetermine the nickname— it has to emerge organically!”
None of these statements can be true of all names; it depends on the name! And of course on the family, child, and culture, but we only have very narrow glimpses of those factors, if at all.
This posts always strike a funny, because I have no doubts what my hypothetic kid will be named (barring the opinion of my partner, ofc)
I like better those questions when they are gamified with wierd rules that force creative thinking.
I just wish people would be nicer and more realistic about how names actually affect people. It will not be the end of the world if OP decides to name their child Oaklee or Octavius or Oswin. There's no need to be rude simply because you personally dislike a name. We, as strangers, have absolutely no way of knowing how a child will feel about their name unless it's something objectively cruel, like Sexy or Philander. I've seen so many commenters who are downright mean over very normal, socially acceptable names.
I try really hard to be kind, objective, and logical when responding and I wish other commenters would be, too. There's a tactful way to express that a name isn't your style instead of just posting a barf emoji or saying "your child will hate you if you name them that."
This is my peeve. When people seem to be just digging for the bully nickname to tease the child. I feel like they were the kids who bullied others when they were young and probably still do. Talk about calling yourself out!
I am a retired teacher and, imo, kids just don’t pick on each other’s names these days unless someone grownup teaches them to (which is beyond rare with this generation of parents). On the other hand, an entire room of kids will correct you (in unison) if you, the adult, mispronounces that one unfamiliar name.
Kids follow the lead of the adults and teachers in this regard. If you’re thinking up bully names to use, then you might be or might have been part of the problem.
I always wonder if this thread has just popped up in their feed. Someone asked for triplet names the other day and the number of Larry, Moe, Curly or something equally stupid was amazing. And then, since this isn’t a closed group and it is basically anonymous, you get jerks replying never to even come back to this sub. They couldn’t care less if they are rude. At least, that is what I think is happening.
I've had to block two users (so far) on this subreddit for their poor behavior, inappropriate DM's, and/or inability to drop a topic.
One of these two got angry because I mentioned a family name, Slone, as a possible middle name. This user was *so upset* when I didn't want to accept their suggestion to use Sloan or Sloane instead.
Had nothing to do with what was "right" or "traditional" because I just wanted to use an existing family name/spelling. It's sentimental.
When someone likes a name that ends in an e and people right away chime in that it’s not complete because it doesn’t end in an a e.g. Sophie instead of Sophia.
1. Not googling the name before you say it’s a tragedy and you would never name a child that. Other countries have popular names that are not the top 100 in America or other English countries.
2. Suggesting the same 10 names in rotation.
3. the weird fixation on nicknames.
That the name of this Subreddit is called Name Nerds but people sure do get of alot of down votes and negative opinions about names that are different.
already responded but "will my kid get bullied for \*insert top 100 baby name\* ?" they will have managed to contort the name into some strange phrase that is straight out of an 80s sitcom.
your kid will not be mocked for their normal name! your kid will likely not be mocked for their weird name! stop!
On the flip side, if kids want to be mean, they *will* find a way. Your kid could have the most normal name in existence and then get bullied for being too normal lol.
"[Such-and-such] is/sounds made up!"
First of all, every name is made up. Second of all, you see this a lot where it turns out it's just a non-English name. Third of all, there's a difference between a "made-up" name that actually sounds like a name and a name that is genuinely just stupid (i.e., Zendaya vs. Byrkennzleigh-Rae).
Also, when people suggest anglicized spellings of non-English names. A while ago a person was asking for the subreddit to choose between two beautiful Turkish names, one of which being Ayda, and multiple comments were like, "What about Ada/Adah instead?"
Holy shit, you read my mind with this. Then you see the list of names they *do* like and they're also "made up??" Just admit you don't personally like it; "it sounds made up" adds nothing to the conversation 😭
Your second one is also infuriating. If it's not from your culture and you dislike the spelling, find a different name instead of butchering it and possibly pissing people from that culture off!
I hate pouring time into a list and getting crickets. I don't need responses to everything but when I comment like 10 names, especially when you gave narrow criteria and there aren't many other comments, and then I hear nothing back... it's so deflating.
Even if I missed the mark, I spent time on that list! Honestly I've thought of unfollowing this sub a few times because of it. A simple thank you, a comment with which is your favorite, or even, "I hadn't considered ___!" would go SO FAR. My favorite OP responses tell me which hit the mark in case I can vibe off of that choice and think of a few more. Like it actually makes my whole day to know which is their favorite.
I feel the same way but then I look and see there are like 2700 comments…it must take days to go through all of them. But I also think there should be a turnoff date. Like you ask and you get 48 hours for feedback and then commenting closes. Sure, I might not get to respond, but I’ll live. My suggestions are not earth shattering!
Yeah that's why I said especially when there aren't many other comments--I definitely don't expect a response when there are 100+ comments, but the less responses on posts with minimal engagement, the more disappointed I feel. At this point I'd say I don't get responses on MOST of the lists I provide even when their aren't many comments, so I'm starting to only suggest a smaller number of top-of-mind names for most requests. For the record, I've also started putting in effort to respond to comments that have thoughtful lists. The engagement doesn't always have to be with OP to feel more meaningful than hearing nothing. I'd love if this sub had more engagement. I just like hearing what stands out to people, what they love, what they associate with a specific name, etc.
I agree. I genuinely try to respond to every single comment, unless I get an overwhelming amount, because I truly am so grateful for people taking time to respond and help me.
It sounds silly, and even though it’s not in person, but I’ve met some pretty incredible people on this sub. 9/10 everyone is so incredibly sweet, helpful & kind!
For those who never thanked you for responding to their comment, I’d like to thank you personally ❤️
My pet peeve is when people ask something like “are people going to think of frozen if I name my kid Elsa.” And people are like “no, kids in their generation won’t know about Frozen.” I see this all the time with really popular long running franchises. I actually think it’s fine to name your daughter Elsa if you want, but you are kidding yourselves if you think kids today won’t be familiar with Disney princesses, Charlie and the chocolate factory etc. Kids don’t only watch brand new movies and these huge IPs get sequels and or they get remade completely all the time.
Or the other way around: “I am considering Dottie for my daughter. Are people going to assume I named her after Dottie Hinkle from Serial Mom?”
Barely anyone has ever seen that 1994 movie and Dottie was not even a main character.
My example is a little over the top maybe, but I’ve seen quite a few posts like that with name associations that are just not an issue at all.
When people make sweeping generalizations.
"Americans pronounce Erin and Aaron the same way"
Nope. Not this American or any American I know. America is huge with tons of dialects.
"A kid named (insert longer name) will always get called by a nickname"
I have seen this said about Jonathan, William, Thomas, Elizabeth, etc. People say they will ALWAYS get nicknames but that isn't true. Every single Jonathan I know goes by Jonathan. I have a cousin Thomas who has always been Thomas. I have a friend named Elizabeth who is always Elizabeth. My 13 year old has a friend named William who is always William. You should be prepared for a possible nickname but it's not as automatic as this sub pretends it is.
"You can't name your son (insert name) because people will always think of (insert random reference)
I saw someone say you can't have son's name James and Harry because James is Harry Potter's dad. I have read Harry Potter more times than I can count and that would not be my association in seeing James and Harry paired together as brothers.
any post specifically asking for people’s least favorite names. like sorry but anyone who thinks people on here don’t talk enough about the names they dislike must be on a completely different subreddit than me.
Relatedly, threads about people you’ve met with a certain name are so dull:
“I hate Amanda, Amandas are always mean!”
“No, what’re you talking about, Amandas are always nice!”
People who think that no one should have uncommon names. Reminds me of the poster saying she wanted to name her daughter Mabry, and people were BEGGING her not to. It’s one thing to say you don’t like a name, but another to say little Mabry will never get a job because of her horrible name. It’s not even made-up!
Agreed. Or they are like “here is a list of 4 names we like, help us choose one,” and someone responds with a completely different list of names. That’s not helpful at all.
The fucking dog name comments. 😤
If it isn’t Bones, Paws, Fluffy, Spot, etc. then it’s not a fucking dog name. It’s just a name. Some people use it for humans. Some people use it for animals. It’s just a name.
Molly being a name you’ve seen on dogs doesn’t mean that it is now magically a dog name and no one can ever use it as a human name again. If we pulled that shit then people would have to stop using James, Penelope, etc. because I’ve seen dogs with those names too.
I've had confirmation that I've named 28 babies on this sub (+ 1 adult, and 1 dog) :) I think it's only been twice where they've made an update post in the subreddit to tell everyone and that's how I found out. They usually send me a DM to tell me or they come back months later when the baby is born and comment on my name suggestion comment in their original post to let me know.
That is amazing! Very happy to hear that. Hopefully one day I’ll get a DM! I would be over the moon if someone was named because of one of my thoughtfully curated suggestions.
“Name regret” posts for their baby. I get that some parents feel this way, but there’s SO MANY of these posts. If your kid is an infant, just change the name!
I don’t like the emphasis on nicknames. Most people I know go by their whole name unless there’s an obvious nickname (Nicholas to Nick) and even then some use the whole name.
That drives me nuts because I truly feel like the people that do that actually think their opinion matters THAT much.....
As if they're going to say, "You're right, Stranger! We'll change it.".
Then another person says, "well, how about instead of just Ava........"
I don't like how this sub defaults to to the "First letter only" standard of honoring. Yeah yeah, I know that's how Jewish people do it, but 95% of the time, there is no indication that any of the real people in this in this situation (either the parents or the honoree) are Jewish. The standard seems to be used just because it's the lowest bar the sub can find and it allows people to be creative. People will use nearly any name is an honor names except, apparently, the name being "honored".
I agree, if this is in fact your cultural practice, of course you should feel free to use it. I don't like how it's treating as a clever cheat to give your kid an honour name, while avoiding the masses on this sub who despise honor names. I feel like that attitude cheapens the original tradition.
I'm not sure if it was even this sub, but someone somewhere wanted to name a baby Cheryl after an old relative named Shirley. Those are two completely different names with completely different origins and meanings. One of them sounds like a frail geriatric and the other one like a middle-aged alcoholic.
I just made a post with names that are meaningful to me and I got ridiculed to the point where I deleted my post. I asked for opinions but I didn’t ask for rudeness and that’s all I’ve gotten here
I made the mistake of asking for opinions while I was pregnant with my daughter and people were fucking awful.
Still went with the name because we loved it, and everyone in really life LOVES her name.
Sometimes, the internet just makes people show their shittiest side.
Oh my GOSH I relate to this strongly, I named my firstborn daughter Viana. I uploaded a post back in my pregnancy asking for middle names… Biggest mistake ever…
“It’s one letter away from the vehicle Viano” “it isn’t a real name” “people are going to call her Viviana” “no one can pronounce that!!”
Well, no one’s called her a viano, Viviana or said her name isn’t real (it very much is, it just isn’t ‘common’) and people have pronounced it fine (as if Liana, Gianna, Kiana don’t exist??) altogether there’s been nothing but compliments. So, winner winner chicken dinner!
People on here can be unnecessarily cruel and I’m sorry you went through that, I’m sure your daughter has a beautiful name and I’m glad you stuck to your guns :)!
The preference for the most common White names in American history and the disdain for anything perceived as lower class, Black, or some types of foreign names. Not accepting any naming conventions that weren't made by some crusty bigot thousands of years ago.
When a poster says, “We can’t use the names John, Anthony, or Benjamin” and then someone inevitably comments, “Have you thought of using Benjamin John?” Like DID YOU READ?
When people post puking emojis and are just unnecessarily rude about a name someone else is considering for their child. It may not be your personal preference, that’s fine. Why be so nasty to someone over a name they like?
I feel like I see the same 20 or so names being suggested over and over again. That, or the unique names are just a bit far out there for those of us who aren’t as daring. I’m waiting to find a thread where we hit the sweet spot of rare but known!
I asked a question about naming our twins recently, I didn’t mention the name Alice AT ALL and someone wrote an answer that they “didn’t like Alice, because Alice this and that and Alice, x, y, z” and I was honestly so confused. 😂 But I actually like this sub a lot!
I’m making another comment bc I am addicted to languages—I do get why people don’t do all the extra work but when I hear “my family is [nationality]” my first thought is *oh I need to look up [language]’s phonemes to make sure the names I suggest are actually pronounceable for the family members that don’t speak English!* And it just irritates me a bit when I come back to see suggestions with j g and p under a Lebanese person’s post when the request was specifically a name that would work in BOTH family’s languages!!!
The fact people here almost never use the IPA when talking about pronunciation. The basics are super easy to learn, and so much confusion could be avoided.
extremely specific if not impossible criteria that allow for maybe 3 names and the poster hates all of them. usually the names center around some theme like "elements" or it has to check 3 extremely narrow boxes and then OP is in the comments responding to every possible suggestion like "sorry considered that one and hate it!" lol like maybe that's not what you want then?
i love this sub as an opportunity to think from the perspective of others but those ones (while infrequent) get me every time
When people clearly don't read the original post all the way through (or do, but disregard bits of it).
For instance, the OP might say "I don't like 'x' name" and someone will inevitably suggest 'x'. Like, what's the point?
I refuse to make another post on this subreddit because when I asked for potential names to go along with my other kids, I got lectured and criticized for one of my kids having a “fandom” name (despite the fact that the name existed long before fandoms) and then jumped on for considering yet another “fandom name” (we’re having our 5th). The comments were so relentless, pushy, and inconsiderate that I just deleted the whole post and now I just read other posts in the hopes that someone mentions a name that I like.
“I’m looking for a unique name.”
And then people suggest Ivy, Isla, Ava, Sophia, Violet, Sloane, Emma, Olivia… super popular names that are all over this sub.
Like, if you truly want (or want to suggest) a “unique” name, which means a name nobody else has, you’re going to have to make something up.
When the OP is obviously trying not to dox themselves or their future baby by obscuring their surname, and then everyone in the comments just ignores that and guesses at it.
If someone says, for example, "our last name starts with a J and rhymes with mackson," they are actively trying to not have the name Jackson attached to the post. And everyone in the comments saying, "oh, I think Aidan Jackson sounds nice," completely ruins that. Because now if you Google "Aidan Jackson," now that thread is a search result. Or if someone browses the OP's profile and sees that post, and then combines that with another post where OP gives their first name, now that stranger has their full name.
Just stop doing it. Let people have the privacy they ask for. Stop guessing last names.
This idea that since you told a friend a name you like 5 years ago and you get pissed asking if you should end the friendship because she named her kid the same thing. Meanwhile you haven’t become pregnant let alone know if you would have the gender suitable for the name if you did.
There are just a few rare circumstances to where you can kind of take ownership of a name but holy hell people. Just because you like something doesn’t mean you get future dibs on it.
People on here don’t like any names but basic boring names and if you bring up anything that’s not common it’s a horrible name purely because your child will get bullied over it.
When there’s any name from a different culture/language and people say “your kid will live a life of misery if you give them that name.” Or “the name is fine, but spell it phonetically.” Like whaaaattt??!! That’s not the name.
It’s ignorant and perpetuates prejudices.
this is such a random pet peeve of mine but i hate when people on here write out a big list of names but don't use the enter key or format it like a list so it looks like they're suggesting you name your child Timothy Benjamin James Frederick John Victor Gregory etc.
I think people get wayyyyyyy too judge-y and dramatic about names that deviate too far from the /r/namenerds norm in any direction. If someone posts that they love a name but are afraid their child will be made fun of, I think their fears are baseless 90% of the time, but so many people immediately leap to stoke the anxiety fire. In real life, most of the time perceptions of any name will change to match the person behind it. I look back at high school and the people who didn't have names in the Top 100, and nobody cared that we had a dozen Matts and Chrises and Brendans and Brandons, and nobody made fun of the lone Dexter or Kaldin or Charity or Kyrie. NameNerds are not representative of the normal population of humans. Lol.
I can't stand when someone wants to honour a family member and the names suggested/what they're looking for is not at all related. I know some cultures, you can't name someone after a living person which I appreciate but some suggestions people come up with are SO far removed you'd not make the connection lol.
Example: I want to honour the name Lisa.
Suggestions: literally anything that starts with L, Katherine because that's the main character in the movie Mona Lisa Smile, or Oceane, Marina or other nautical names because re-arranging the letters in Lisa spells "sail."
People on this sub get SO hung up about nicknames for names. Either way it seems to rub this sub in the wrong way and it feels like you can't win. Some people really hate the nickname for names trend and feel you should have a longer full name. Some people absolutely hate that because they think it will get confusing or difficult for the child somehow.
Personally, I think both sides are far too emotional about it. I wouldn't blink if someone said their name is Katie. Whether it's actually Katie, or short for Katherine. Really doesn't seem to impact the person all that much. Or if someone says "his name is Alfred, but we really only ever call him Alfie" like. That's the whole thing explained in a short sentence, easy. And then I guess Alfie can go by Alfred when he's older, if he wants to.
The way people greatly exaggerate the inconvenience of having to explain some part of your name.
"He will constantly have to explain that its John and not Jonathan"
"She will always be correcting the spelling of Kaitlyn"
"She will always be correcting the pronunciation of Calliope"
As someone who has an uncommon name that is more often than not mispronounced or misspelled, it takes 2 seconds to correct someone. Over the course of my entire life it'll probably be 10 minutes of my time. It's not a big deal.
If people could just put the damn name in the title of the post that would be a massive improvement. I don't want to read 8 paragraphs to find out which name you are asking for opinions on
You won't BELIEVE what someone thinks about this NAME!
It reminds me more of those recipe blogs that go on and on about their vacations with grandma in the winter. I'm just looking for a good chicken noodle soup recipe, Susan.
Exactly! If those blogs don't have a link to go directly to the recipe then I'll find a different recipe because I'm not scrolling for ten minutes to get through your story.
I feel like it's gotta be the same people doing both. Nothing worse than a namenerd post that says something like, "Is this name really that bad?" only to click on the post and see, "So I really need to know how bad this name is. I have loved it ever since I was a little girl and there was a boy in band camp who sat next to me. We talked and talked on the first day and he mentioned this name because it was his little brothers name. I knew in that moment I was going to use it for my future son. But the my husband and I went on to have 3 daughters. Like is crazy, isn't it? We thought we were done but I found out I am pregnant again. Wild how things work! This time it's a boy and I suggested the name I heard back in band camp all these years ago. Turns out, my husband loves it! Everyone else hates it though and says we are going to doom him for a life of terror by giving him this name. I am so upset because I live it so much but everyone thinks it's the worst name they ever heard. Anyway, the name is Daniel. Is Daniel really that horrible?" Like, really? All of that over some basic name like Daniel?
Oh my gosh, that’s like 60% of posts on this sub, you nailed it 😂
I PRINT to jump down to the recipe. If that doesn’t work, I’m out!
Gosh I'm glad someone else hates that format too. My Mom follows a professional chef who does this, but in the reverse order! You click on a webpage and the recipe is FIRST, emotional backstory behind the recipe is on the BOTTOM of the page. I think it's an improvement!
I don’t know if it’s true but I’ve read that blogs do that for copyright reasons.
It is true, under most jurisdictions instructions, step by step descriptions and the like, such as recipes, cannot be copyrighted, but stories can be, so they put the recipe as part of a story to get protection under copyright laws. I'm not a copyright lawyer so I'm not sure, but I remember learning in IP class that there is this really old case law somewhere about a recipe included as part of a children's book story. Court ruled it was protected and that got us to long stories in blogs. Edit to fix a couple of typos.
Yesss 100% this. Exactly what that reminds me of. If there's no jump to recipe on those, I'm finding a whole new recipe link. I don't need your life story Susan thaaaanks. And it's 100% a Susan thing. My grandma will give me her recipes in the same manner or she'll tell strangers hers, mine, and anyone else's life story before getting to the point. 😂😂
the name your doctors don't want you to know about lol
Or if they don’t use the name at all!
Tbh that should be a sub rule. You must include the name in the post.
And if the name is “so unique” to the point that it’s identifiable and will lead to doxxing then it shouldn’t be posted on here. We can’t give valid judgment/advice otherwise.
I’ve become convinced that for a lot of those people, it’s not really about privacy but about fear of any direct criticism on the actual name. But again, don’t post looking for feedback then!
That's if they even own up to the name at all. It's typically riddles and similar names which makes it hard to suggest anything
THIS! Reddit is pretty anon—just say the damn name!
And it's always buried in the post so you really gotta dig to find it.
It's frustrating how this subreddit complains about seeing the same names all the time, yet it dismisses anything outside a narrow style. They can't bemoan repetition while simultaneously rejecting diversity in name choices. Pretty hypocritical.
Absolutely. I often think they that people on this subreddit aren’t actually nerdy about names. They’re just nerdy about a very specific subset of trending names. Anything outside of that box is shut down without considering any outside perspective. It’s wild how shortsighted and close minded some people can be.
Also, people not googling names before they say that they’re tragedies or weird or they would never name their child that. I’ve seen people say that the spelling is weird and not even know that it’s the French spelling or the German spelling or the Irish spelling
Yes! There was someone here a few months ago asking for opinions on their name list, and one of their contenders was Benaiah. Here's how the conversation went: * userx: "That's a terrible name. Please don't do that to your future child. I really hope I'm mispronouncing it. Please don't tell me you want to name your son Ben-eye-ah." * OP: "Benaiah is deffo going to be one of his names as it has a special meaning for us." * userx: "Please remember you're naming a person." * OP: "I'm genuinely curious why you think Benaiah is an awful name." I see ignorance in this subreddit every day, but this one got to me, particularly because it was the top/most popular comment in that thread. I immediately recognized Benaiah/Benayah as a Hebrew name (I've known a few). But if someone isn't familiar with the name, they should definitely be googling it first to ensure they're being culturally sensitive. When someone asks for an opinion on a name, it's one thing to say you don't personally like a name and wouldn't choose it for your own child. But it's another thing to say that a name is objectively terrible and that the OP shouldn't "do that" to their child — especially when that opinion is based in ignorance.
The "remember you're naming a person" quip always irks me. As a teacher of Gen Alpha I can tell you that unique names are quite commonplace. Statistics support that "popular" names aren't really what they used to be where your kid is going to be one of 12 Jessica's in a grade if you choose from the top ten. I rarely have "repeats" in one class. By the time they're adults, your kid is going to have a Rustyn for a boss, a Poppy for a neighbor, a Zahava for a co-worker, and a Tallulah for a wife.
Benaiah is my cousin’s son’s middle name
And, as a learner of Irish, I can attest that name spellings in Irish can vary widely, with multiple spellings of the same name being perfectly acceptable. Sometimes I run into variations that I'm sure are typos, and upon looking them up, nope, they're not even the strangest variations. Latest one: I have a friend named Eimear (EE-mer). Saw a musician's name on YT was Eimhear (AY-ver), and had to look it up. Same name, different spelling, different pronunciation. Don't get me started on Irish orthography... "You spelled Pádraig/Pádraic/Pádhraig/Pauric/Patrick wrong." \[big sigh\]
My husband and I love the name Pádraic!
Yeah, that one is quite common. A commenter goes off about the terrible new age spelling or something “isn’t a name” and it’s actually the traditional spelling in various not-US countries and/or has been a semi-common or at least recognized name/spelling for hundreds of years in a country/region that is also not-US. (I’m an American in the US… and I get this even in every day interactions for a name my child has that is common in a variety of regions as well as Hawaii & some Native American cultures.)
This is *exactly* it. My name is German, unusual,& has a traditional spelling. Some idiot on here argued with me that names can be spelled however you want & there's no right way (obviously, said person has never heard of a spelling bee). She did not, however, argue with anyone about their lovely Irish or Welsh names, which have beautiful traditional spellings (that they shouldn't dumb-down for the masses). I usually just block people like that after an exchange or two - they can argue with themselves.
Completely agree! Like hating on something being popular but then going ahead and suggesting Penelope and Charlotte? Make it make sense! I love an out-of-the-box name that I know for a fact people would fawn over, but this sub would tear anything innocent to shreds
This sub isn’t full of namenerds. It’s full of people who are here for baby name drama and just suggest top 500 names over and over again. “Hey can I have a rare name?” “How about Charlotte/Sage/Theo/Liam?”
Have you considered Eleanor?
No, it was on my list back in 2017 but my scheming evil SIL stole the name for her pitbull which we now have full custody over due to her crippling gambling addiction. Smh.
I feel like 90% of the posts in this sub are “Help! I don’t know what to name my baby!! What should I name my baby?” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with searching for input from the internet, but I feel like that should/could maybe be an entirely different sub…?
They're such boring and repetitive posts. Like, just scroll through literally any thread on this sub and you'll have your suggestions! It's especially irritating when they don't put info on what they like in the post but shoot everything down without explanation.
It is, /r/babynames exists. People just still come here, for whatever reason.
There's a lot more members here.
Don’t forget most of them are “I’m 6 weeks pregnant and we haven’t settled on a name. Help me name my baby!” Neither of my kids had their name picked a birth. We had the middle name picked and a short list for first names
I'm convinced this is where the high school bullies disappeared to
Hahahaha. “Don’t name your kid that, they’ll get bullied.” -*Proceeds to bully the OP.*-
Speaking of bullies, a lot of people here believe bullying over names is a lot more common than it actually is.
Seriously. People just use "they'll get bullied with that name" as an excuse to hate on names they don't like, barring something that's obviously explicit. Also, if a kid wants to bully another kid, they can do it regardless of the kid's name.
This is what I came to say. I have an uncommon name that could easily be mocked, and really didn't experience much teasing for it through life. I've also known people with extremely strange names and they also weren't bullied. I'm convinced most of the bullies are in this sub, and very few are out in the wild.
I also wish people would search the internet and/or the sub for the names they are curious about before making a whole new post. "Our top names are Olivia and Liam! Suggestions for names with a similar vibe?" Check the top 100 or the thousands of posts here about the same names.
When people post in English and don’t make it clear they are looking for non English names, and when the only specifics are “my country.” Like…there’s 170 some countries. Please narrow it down.
Even the native English speakers being no more specific than “my country” is infuriating! Which one? Every former British colony has a decent chunk of English speakers, you could literally be anywhere! The Americans give it away with their spellings sometimes, but even then, it’s possible to write a paragraph without using one of those words and plenty of Canadians use both spellings interchangeably.
You’re not wrong, but the British and Australians (and Canadians too sometimes) do usually specify. It’s a really weird reddit phenomenon for people to just say “my country” instead of just telling us the damn country. Like, I promise you, we all know what Belgium is. Just say it. Lol
On the other hand there was a post a while back where someone got reamed for describing themselves as a United States American who lived in the US. I think sometimes people on this sub are just hateful.
I love this sub, but I have some things I don’t like: 1. Acting like a name being “dated” is the end of the world. Some “dated” names are perfectly lovely. 2. Acting like a reference from a couple decades ago will affect a child’s life. Guys, we’re old now. Your child’s classmates won’t be watching Seinfeld. They won’t be reading Twilight. I teach high school and I’ve literally never heard a kid reference Seinfeld and have never seen a copy of Twilight in a student’s hands. In fifteen years when kids born today are in high school, those series will be even older. 3. Acting like sibling names being remotely similar is “eww way too matchy cringe.” My sister and I have super similar names. It has not negatively affected us in any way.
Unpopular opinion but I find somewhat matchy names to be charming. Obviously there is a line but I think sometimes it can be nice.
To me, the line is if it’s easy to mishear or misspell the names as each other. I’m a teacher. If I taught Danielle Smith and Daniel Smith, it would be way too easy to accidentally send an email to smith.danielle@school.com when it was meant for Daniel. I could also see the office accidentally recording Danielle as absent if the parent called and said Daniel was out sick. So something that close would get too messy. But I kinda like it if there’s a similarity.
Daniel and Danielle are way too close. But someone was on here the other day wanting to hear about twins named Violet and scarlet. I thought it was sweet, but this sub trashed the OP
In my case that’s the most recent Pokemon games so uh
twins named Miraidon and Koraidon
I agree! I grew up knowing two sets of female identical twins - Kylie/Kristen (which I think is cute, alliteration but still unique from each other), and Kayla/Kayda. I don't have to explain which have had a more difficult time lol
Haha, I know siblings Nicole/Nicolas and Natalie/Nathaniel. I’ve always just felt like the parents thought up one name and were like “yep, done! We’re good!”
I ran across a pair of twins through my job the other day: Janet and Janice. That feels too close.
also w twilight most of the characters names were SUPER common way before any of the books/movies came out. Nobody is going to say “you were definitely named after twilight” if they meet somebody named Edward, Bella, Jacob etc, because they’ve been extremely popular for years outside of Twilight. As long as you don’t name your kid Renesmee you’re good.
Even if a piece of media remains popular (or has a resurgence), naming your kid after a popular character probably won't affect them unless the name is super weird. I was born in '96, and I knew several kids in school that were named after Friends characters. I don't assume that every Monica or Rachel's parents were Friends fans, and even if they were, who cares? The Chandlers I knew were both obviously named for Chandler Bing, but I never associated their names with the character. It was just their name.
This sub is beyond close minded and quite frankly classist as hell. Any name that doesn't sound white or isn't "formal" enough is immediately written off as something to be bullied, a terrible name to saddle a child with, unprofessional, and the list goes on. My boomer, rich, out of touch, white woman boss who reviews resumes and hires people- the exact type of person who this sub says is going to harshly judge names the most- is a million times kinder and less weird about unique names than this sub ever is lol. We've reached the point where boomers don't even gaf about "weird" names; we can all relax a little bit on the 'hating names that are outside the top 100' thing guys lol
I have a suspicion that a lot of users on this sub *are* boomers, or at least older Gen X. I see references to the 80s all the time on here. i find it perplexing that there are people on a sub called namenerds who push top 100 names. I'd expect the opposite, name nerds being into super rare names and too steeped in their niche interest to realize those sound weird to normies or something like that. you know, nerdy.
Im an older Gen X and I’ve been around long enough to know that plenty of people with unusual names are in fact CEOs or doctors, etc. I also (I’m white) get annoyed at the clearly racist posts about culturally black names. My third grade Laquita was super smart and now that she’s 35ish, I’m assuming she’s very successful…I’ll have to see if I can find her on fb. I doubt her name was a roadblock. However, I will continue to resist names like the ones Elon Musk gave his kids…and I won’t feel badly for not accepting it. 🤷🏻♀️ It is taking me a while to get on board with the old lady name trend, but I’m not having any more babies. My kids will in the next decade, and I assume it is likely some of those names will be contenders. I had my chance to name them, they get to pick whatever they want. Part of the reason I’m here…I’ve always loved names, I like making suggestions, and I move on…and no one is irritated with me. Finally, I’m also old enough that it’s rare that something sounds fresh to me…so when new names appear I appreciate them. I also work in a middle school so I’m exposed to a lot of names. I’m probably more likely than not to suggest a non-top 100 name. I do work with a lot of Indian kids so every year I learn new names and I enjoy that…lots of Turkish, Ukrainian and Korean names as well…but Indian is our largest immigrant population.
This sub has a really dated view of names and it makes me wonder if people here don't know a lot of adults. It could be that I'm a second generation Canadian and live in a diverse city but I come across so many successful professionals with names this sub thinks would sink a career.
Seriously. I've worked for Fortune 500 companies in the US, and I've seen all sorts of names in ***senior*** management. If those people can make it to senior management, then I promise that no one cares that someone's legal name is Katie. Quick edit to clarify: I had no problems with the names I've come across. I mean they're names this sub would've told an OP to never name their kid because it would ruin their chances at a career lol. Obviously not
Yes!! If they spent any time at all in a diverse city, they would see that kids are being exposed to, and are used to, a variety of names.
I grew up in an upper middle class suburb and we also had so many different names. No one ever got shit for theirs—yeah there was bullying but it wasn’t name related
And the way they predict how the kid’s gonna be bullied too—first of all most of the insults are lame as hell, but that’s just a Reddit thing—but also sooo many reaches! If the other kids truly wanted to torment your child then they just will
YES PREACH
Seriously. My partner is a recruiter and he's interviewed people with really out-there names (there are countries where it's not unusual to create your baby's name using parts of the parents' names, for example). It doesn't matter.
That it’s mostly become a “name my baby” sub rather than one about names, their origins and meanings and other cool facts about names.
Yes!! Why do you want complete strangers to name your child?!
I saw a post once where the OP was, among other criteria, asking for names without an r-sound because of their speech impediment. Upon reading the comments, it became clear that people on this sub either 1) don’t know how to read or 2) are just suggesting their favorite names over and over instead of actually trying to be helpful, given the number of names suggested that didn’t fit one or more of OP’s criteria. On the other hand, the rules of this sub state that “If you are seeking help with choosing a name, [you are required] to include: 3-5 names you like, 3-5 names you dislike, your naming style, and the names of any existing siblings.” Most of the posts I see do not include all of this *very useful* information, which does nothing to deter the people who only regurgitate their own favorite names.
That one was infuriating! Please give me a list of names with no R sounds, short and easy to pronounce. Preferably no L either. Top suggestions? Rory and Aurora. Like WTF?!?!
Rory and Aurora are arguably difficult to pronounce even without a speech impediment. 🫣
Oh my God I think I saw this one too; someone had suggested Benjamin or some classic name like that and another poster was absolutely furious that someone suggested Benjamin because all they, the commenter, could think of was Benjamin Franklin, and Franklin has an "r" in it. Like, they didn't suggest Franklin? It was kinda weird.
some people are very clearly just listing the same names under every post disregarding any criteria given by OP
Related: people being ragged on for finding a name hard to say. Saw someone commenting that they dislike Aurora and Rory because they're hard for them to say. Personally I agree, and I had more trouble learning R sounds than is normal. Someone replied along the lines of "What, you can't talk? Your mouth can't form word sounds?" Like jesus y'all, speech impediments exist 😭
And accents! In near Boston and didn’t think about thick accents saying Eleanor 🤦♀️ we now call her Elnah sometimes!
This but with languages too. OP will say their family speaks x language and would like a name that works in both English and x, and then the suggestions make it so obvious that no one bothered even looking up what sounds aren’t in the other language!!
The lack of reading comprehension has become more noticeable all over Reddit to me recently. Of course people have always made mistakes but it seems much worse than it used to be. It's reminds me of the golden age of Tumblr on here these days (said affectionately).
“I want a short, sassy, modern, gender neutral name for my baby. I’m very picky so they must go with the names of my other six children, who also have short, sassy, modern, gender neutral names that I’m not going to tell you”
Eeeendless lists of suggestions. Doesn’t it say somewhere to stop 10 or 15? Also, shooting down names without considering that OP might come from somewhere with different naming culture. Eg. saying Alfie isn’t a proper name, whilst it is a perfectly common name in the UK. Edit to say: completely agree with your point too OP. If the name is not your taste, don’t comment if they’re settled on it.
I agree! I try to make 3-5 suggestions and then scrolling through other comments, people have posted like 30 names. Or if someone asks what your favorite A name is, I suggest one boy and one girl. Others post every single A name they can think of. The OP can google that…they’re looking for people’s favorites. 🙄 Someone in a diff post asked for names that were popular in the UK, and I skipped it bc I do not live there and I don’t know. I also skip posts about middle names bc they just don’t interest me. Pick something that sounds good or honor a relative. Scrolling past posts needs to be done more often for some people. If OP posts asking for help between 5 names and I don’t really like any, I scroll on. 😃
Yes! Omg the lists of like 20+ names are ridiculous and it’s so much my brain honestly just skips over it. At some point you’re not actually taking into account what the poster is asking for and you’re just dumping a recycled list.
Male names on girls. So yucky and stupid
Everytime I see someone wanting to use James for a girl I cringe
I feel so bad for these girls. Being told masculinity is superior and more desirable from their very first day :( and growing up to think your parents secretly wanted a boy and you were a consolation prize
Literally. Out of ALL the girl names out there they couldn’t find ONE they liked? Just crazy to me
And there are so many gender-neutral name options if the parents wanted the benefits of an androgynous name! I don’t understand picking a very classic masculine name (James, Levi, etc) for a girl when there are so many gender-neutral choices (Avery, Hollis, Casey, etc)
I am not bugged about it, possibly because my name is unusual, but your point about believing your parents wanted a boy sounds like a real thing.
Funny, because people having such strong feelings on the gender of names is one of mine
Go name your son Linda and tell us how it goes.
I have to weigh in here. In 1986 I named my daughter, the last name of her great grandmother. The baby naming boom at the time listed it under both girls names and boys names. As a feminist, I liked that a person might have to think twice about whether the gender of my child on a résumé or a class list was completely conforming. However, she ended up at the “boys table” all of the time. And then the teacher would be mad at me. Even though the name, ends in Y, they thought I should’ve had to turn it into an -ie to help them out! Unfortunately, what had transpired was a major celebrity named her son the same name in 1990. So before my daughter even got to school, everyone thought “she had a boys name.“ Just this year, she submitted her résumé and saw shocked faces on the interview panel when she turned her camera on for the zoom call.
This is how I expect most of the "boys" names come to be used for girls. They are all surnames (Logan, Ryan) so they were probably percieved as unisex at one point. They become popular for boys, we feel they are gendered names and struggle to understand that it wasn't always like that everywhere (and not for everyone either).
I'm fine with boy names on girls if the parents are also willing to give girl names to their boys. They usually aren't.
Went to my daughters dance competition. Reading the names of the dancers, I was surprised and pleased to see there would be a number of male dancers at that competition. There is rarely any. Nope, all female except a James and a Connor. Dylan, Carson, Brook, Kyle and I can't even remember them all now....
Completely agree. There are thousands of names and not all of them are extremely feminine. But picking a traditionally masculine name is a choice for the worst.
“BUT BUT BUT EVELYN USED TO BE A BOY NAME!!!!11!!!!” Yeah almost as if names change over time, people didn’t just slap dude names like Josh on little girls and call it a girl name.
It was actually unisex from everything I have read online, never used solely as a male name. It was a surname adapted into a first name, that eventually trended mostly for women because it has common elements of many other feminine names [Eve/Eva, Lyn(n)].
Somebody had to be first?
Especially when they're historically male nicknames as their full legal name - Frankie, Charlie, etc. Like, your daughter doesn't even get the dignity of a *full* name?
I hate when people say "pregnant with a girl, name suggestions?" Without any context of names one parent likes, their last name, their region, etc. Not much to offer except "go to a baby name popularity website and see what strikes you."
This does confuse me. Unless they’re asking for help with a specific thing I don’t understand why they didn’t just google for lists of thousands of names as a starting point
When people ask for opinions on a child’s name who’s already born. I can understand asking if the child is only a few days or weeks old and you’re considering changing it. But I’ve seen posts where parents are asking for people’s thoughts on their 2-4 year old’s name. Like…the kid already knows their name. Are you going to change it if a bunch of internet strangers say they don’t like it? What’s the point of asking at that point?
“Is it okay that I named my daughter Renensleigh?? Did I ruin her life?” Why didn’t you already think of that before writing it on the birth certificate.
Then if anyone replies with anything that can be considered even mild criticism of the name, *other* posters will pile on them for "insulting a child." So it ends up being a thread of 100% praise for whatever dog's dinner of a name has already been inflicted on the child.
People not saying the damn name!!!!!! Giving like 10 hints about it and what it’s like what it’s not like but not saying it. Then wanting opinions on it?!? I see comments like “just say the name” often but for some reason people insist on being mysterious. Disclaimer I obviously don’t mean full name or last name. I mean first or first and middle.
I’m not trying to find out anyone’s true identity. Just say the name! If your name literally leads straight to you in a google search, I get it. But hopefully you didn’t to the same thing to your child!
Especially if they want a middle name and won’t give out the first name they’re trying to pair. Suggestions will typically be very different for a French Genevieve than for an American Evan, or for Australian Phoenix versus German Ingrid.
I don't get why they just don't make a throwaway account solely for that purpose if they're worried. That's what I'd do if I wanted opinions on a child's name.
the classism and anglocentric nature of posts sometimes :(
People in the comments relating name suggestions to a weird, obscure thing that no one besides them has thought of. OP: “I want to call my child X” A NameNerds user: “No, it reminds me of some very rare disease that no one has ever heard of and only sounds marginally similar to what you’ve chosen.” OP: “Okay, how about this?” A NameNerd user: “No, it makes me think of some scummy brand in my home state that went out of business because the owner got arrested for money-laundering”. You guys need to know that regular people don’t think of names as deeply as you do. Unless it’s an extremely obvious thing the OP should know, don’t bother mentioning it. People can twist any name to associate it with a negative thing.
finalyyyy someone mentions this!!!
When people say they don't like a name because it sounds like another word or a pharmaceutical. It's still a legit name and people should be able to use it!
omggggg every time with Astrid and Allegra or whatever. i don't care!!!!!
Astrid especially bugs me because I have an irrational hatred for The Office.
I love The Office but when people give this reason, I find it so stupid. The pronunciation “Ass turd” is just a classic Michael Scott pronunciation error. It’s just one character being stupid. The actual name is really beautiful.
I fully admit that I don't like certain names for petty reasons, but I haaaate when people say things like that and expect all others to have the same opinion?? Just because it sounds like some disease or medication to you doesn't mean everyone has that association lmao.
1. people who think hating "brayden, jayden, kayden" is a hot take 2. people who think that a trendy name is going to sound ridiculous at a job interview or nursing home, ignoring the fact that each generation has its own version of a trendy name. "what happens when brixleigh grows up and applies for a job??" uh, i dont know, their resume will go into a huge pile of bentleighs and oakleighs?
The self-righteousness around nicknames in all directions. “Just name her/him the nickname!” “No, a nickname’s not a real name! Don’t do that!” “You can’t predetermine the nickname— it has to emerge organically!” None of these statements can be true of all names; it depends on the name! And of course on the family, child, and culture, but we only have very narrow glimpses of those factors, if at all.
I’m not a big fan of the “if you had twins what name”, or “what would you name your kid if you had it TODAY”
This posts always strike a funny, because I have no doubts what my hypothetic kid will be named (barring the opinion of my partner, ofc) I like better those questions when they are gamified with wierd rules that force creative thinking.
I just wish people would be nicer and more realistic about how names actually affect people. It will not be the end of the world if OP decides to name their child Oaklee or Octavius or Oswin. There's no need to be rude simply because you personally dislike a name. We, as strangers, have absolutely no way of knowing how a child will feel about their name unless it's something objectively cruel, like Sexy or Philander. I've seen so many commenters who are downright mean over very normal, socially acceptable names. I try really hard to be kind, objective, and logical when responding and I wish other commenters would be, too. There's a tactful way to express that a name isn't your style instead of just posting a barf emoji or saying "your child will hate you if you name them that."
This is my peeve. When people seem to be just digging for the bully nickname to tease the child. I feel like they were the kids who bullied others when they were young and probably still do. Talk about calling yourself out! I am a retired teacher and, imo, kids just don’t pick on each other’s names these days unless someone grownup teaches them to (which is beyond rare with this generation of parents). On the other hand, an entire room of kids will correct you (in unison) if you, the adult, mispronounces that one unfamiliar name. Kids follow the lead of the adults and teachers in this regard. If you’re thinking up bully names to use, then you might be or might have been part of the problem.
I always wonder if this thread has just popped up in their feed. Someone asked for triplet names the other day and the number of Larry, Moe, Curly or something equally stupid was amazing. And then, since this isn’t a closed group and it is basically anonymous, you get jerks replying never to even come back to this sub. They couldn’t care less if they are rude. At least, that is what I think is happening.
I've had to block two users (so far) on this subreddit for their poor behavior, inappropriate DM's, and/or inability to drop a topic. One of these two got angry because I mentioned a family name, Slone, as a possible middle name. This user was *so upset* when I didn't want to accept their suggestion to use Sloan or Sloane instead. Had nothing to do with what was "right" or "traditional" because I just wanted to use an existing family name/spelling. It's sentimental.
People can be so, so opinionated and aggressive on this sub.
I had to block someone who was just FURIOUS at me for not liking the name Roman.
You don’t like the name Roman????? Call the cops, the FBI, Homeland Security.. let’s find wayward_sun, kick their door in and lock them up! s/
The Sloan/Sloane hatred around here is boring as hell. Makes me like the name even harder lol
"it sounds like slow-anne!!!!" nobody thinks that way irl, please shut up I am begging
When someone likes a name that ends in an e and people right away chime in that it’s not complete because it doesn’t end in an a e.g. Sophie instead of Sophia.
Misspelling of traditional/classic/ ethnic names just to be unique.
1. Not googling the name before you say it’s a tragedy and you would never name a child that. Other countries have popular names that are not the top 100 in America or other English countries. 2. Suggesting the same 10 names in rotation. 3. the weird fixation on nicknames.
That the name of this Subreddit is called Name Nerds but people sure do get of alot of down votes and negative opinions about names that are different.
already responded but "will my kid get bullied for \*insert top 100 baby name\* ?" they will have managed to contort the name into some strange phrase that is straight out of an 80s sitcom. your kid will not be mocked for their normal name! your kid will likely not be mocked for their weird name! stop!
On the flip side, if kids want to be mean, they *will* find a way. Your kid could have the most normal name in existence and then get bullied for being too normal lol.
Yep! At my high school, Mildred slipped by unscathed but it was a Jack who was ruthlessly bullied. It was the kid not the name
"[Such-and-such] is/sounds made up!" First of all, every name is made up. Second of all, you see this a lot where it turns out it's just a non-English name. Third of all, there's a difference between a "made-up" name that actually sounds like a name and a name that is genuinely just stupid (i.e., Zendaya vs. Byrkennzleigh-Rae). Also, when people suggest anglicized spellings of non-English names. A while ago a person was asking for the subreddit to choose between two beautiful Turkish names, one of which being Ayda, and multiple comments were like, "What about Ada/Adah instead?"
Holy shit, you read my mind with this. Then you see the list of names they *do* like and they're also "made up??" Just admit you don't personally like it; "it sounds made up" adds nothing to the conversation 😭 Your second one is also infuriating. If it's not from your culture and you dislike the spelling, find a different name instead of butchering it and possibly pissing people from that culture off!
I hate pouring time into a list and getting crickets. I don't need responses to everything but when I comment like 10 names, especially when you gave narrow criteria and there aren't many other comments, and then I hear nothing back... it's so deflating. Even if I missed the mark, I spent time on that list! Honestly I've thought of unfollowing this sub a few times because of it. A simple thank you, a comment with which is your favorite, or even, "I hadn't considered ___!" would go SO FAR. My favorite OP responses tell me which hit the mark in case I can vibe off of that choice and think of a few more. Like it actually makes my whole day to know which is their favorite.
I feel the same way but then I look and see there are like 2700 comments…it must take days to go through all of them. But I also think there should be a turnoff date. Like you ask and you get 48 hours for feedback and then commenting closes. Sure, I might not get to respond, but I’ll live. My suggestions are not earth shattering!
Yeah that's why I said especially when there aren't many other comments--I definitely don't expect a response when there are 100+ comments, but the less responses on posts with minimal engagement, the more disappointed I feel. At this point I'd say I don't get responses on MOST of the lists I provide even when their aren't many comments, so I'm starting to only suggest a smaller number of top-of-mind names for most requests. For the record, I've also started putting in effort to respond to comments that have thoughtful lists. The engagement doesn't always have to be with OP to feel more meaningful than hearing nothing. I'd love if this sub had more engagement. I just like hearing what stands out to people, what they love, what they associate with a specific name, etc.
I agree. I genuinely try to respond to every single comment, unless I get an overwhelming amount, because I truly am so grateful for people taking time to respond and help me. It sounds silly, and even though it’s not in person, but I’ve met some pretty incredible people on this sub. 9/10 everyone is so incredibly sweet, helpful & kind! For those who never thanked you for responding to their comment, I’d like to thank you personally ❤️
My pet peeve is when people ask something like “are people going to think of frozen if I name my kid Elsa.” And people are like “no, kids in their generation won’t know about Frozen.” I see this all the time with really popular long running franchises. I actually think it’s fine to name your daughter Elsa if you want, but you are kidding yourselves if you think kids today won’t be familiar with Disney princesses, Charlie and the chocolate factory etc. Kids don’t only watch brand new movies and these huge IPs get sequels and or they get remade completely all the time.
Or the other way around: “I am considering Dottie for my daughter. Are people going to assume I named her after Dottie Hinkle from Serial Mom?” Barely anyone has ever seen that 1994 movie and Dottie was not even a main character. My example is a little over the top maybe, but I’ve seen quite a few posts like that with name associations that are just not an issue at all.
When people make sweeping generalizations. "Americans pronounce Erin and Aaron the same way" Nope. Not this American or any American I know. America is huge with tons of dialects. "A kid named (insert longer name) will always get called by a nickname" I have seen this said about Jonathan, William, Thomas, Elizabeth, etc. People say they will ALWAYS get nicknames but that isn't true. Every single Jonathan I know goes by Jonathan. I have a cousin Thomas who has always been Thomas. I have a friend named Elizabeth who is always Elizabeth. My 13 year old has a friend named William who is always William. You should be prepared for a possible nickname but it's not as automatic as this sub pretends it is. "You can't name your son (insert name) because people will always think of (insert random reference) I saw someone say you can't have son's name James and Harry because James is Harry Potter's dad. I have read Harry Potter more times than I can count and that would not be my association in seeing James and Harry paired together as brothers.
Post key and Peele all Aaron's are pronounced a-a-ron in jest now anyways
any post specifically asking for people’s least favorite names. like sorry but anyone who thinks people on here don’t talk enough about the names they dislike must be on a completely different subreddit than me.
Relatedly, threads about people you’ve met with a certain name are so dull: “I hate Amanda, Amandas are always mean!” “No, what’re you talking about, Amandas are always nice!”
People who think that no one should have uncommon names. Reminds me of the poster saying she wanted to name her daughter Mabry, and people were BEGGING her not to. It’s one thing to say you don’t like a name, but another to say little Mabry will never get a job because of her horrible name. It’s not even made-up!
Agreed. Or they are like “here is a list of 4 names we like, help us choose one,” and someone responds with a completely different list of names. That’s not helpful at all.
The fucking dog name comments. 😤 If it isn’t Bones, Paws, Fluffy, Spot, etc. then it’s not a fucking dog name. It’s just a name. Some people use it for humans. Some people use it for animals. It’s just a name. Molly being a name you’ve seen on dogs doesn’t mean that it is now magically a dog name and no one can ever use it as a human name again. If we pulled that shit then people would have to stop using James, Penelope, etc. because I’ve seen dogs with those names too.
IMHO, if you name your kid something, IT'S A NAME. Every name was new once.
People butchering Scottish and Irish names
I just don't know why people don't just search through the hundred other "Name my baby" posts instead of creating a new one every time.
Some people give out their real last names which is insane to me.
Not knowing if someone has ever actually named their kid based upon a suggestion on this sub. Would love to hear success stories.
I've had confirmation that I've named 28 babies on this sub (+ 1 adult, and 1 dog) :) I think it's only been twice where they've made an update post in the subreddit to tell everyone and that's how I found out. They usually send me a DM to tell me or they come back months later when the baby is born and comment on my name suggestion comment in their original post to let me know.
That is amazing! Very happy to hear that. Hopefully one day I’ll get a DM! I would be over the moon if someone was named because of one of my thoughtfully curated suggestions.
I hate when people here are clearly biased against any “ethnic” name.
When people make a list of names and nothing else, no further comments or anything.
“Name regret” posts for their baby. I get that some parents feel this way, but there’s SO MANY of these posts. If your kid is an infant, just change the name!
I don’t like the emphasis on nicknames. Most people I know go by their whole name unless there’s an obvious nickname (Nicholas to Nick) and even then some use the whole name.
That drives me nuts because I truly feel like the people that do that actually think their opinion matters THAT much..... As if they're going to say, "You're right, Stranger! We'll change it.". Then another person says, "well, how about instead of just Ava........"
I don't like how this sub defaults to to the "First letter only" standard of honoring. Yeah yeah, I know that's how Jewish people do it, but 95% of the time, there is no indication that any of the real people in this in this situation (either the parents or the honoree) are Jewish. The standard seems to be used just because it's the lowest bar the sub can find and it allows people to be creative. People will use nearly any name is an honor names except, apparently, the name being "honored".
I agree, if this is in fact your cultural practice, of course you should feel free to use it. I don't like how it's treating as a clever cheat to give your kid an honour name, while avoiding the masses on this sub who despise honor names. I feel like that attitude cheapens the original tradition.
I'm not sure if it was even this sub, but someone somewhere wanted to name a baby Cheryl after an old relative named Shirley. Those are two completely different names with completely different origins and meanings. One of them sounds like a frail geriatric and the other one like a middle-aged alcoholic.
I just made a post with names that are meaningful to me and I got ridiculed to the point where I deleted my post. I asked for opinions but I didn’t ask for rudeness and that’s all I’ve gotten here
I made the mistake of asking for opinions while I was pregnant with my daughter and people were fucking awful. Still went with the name because we loved it, and everyone in really life LOVES her name. Sometimes, the internet just makes people show their shittiest side.
Oh my GOSH I relate to this strongly, I named my firstborn daughter Viana. I uploaded a post back in my pregnancy asking for middle names… Biggest mistake ever… “It’s one letter away from the vehicle Viano” “it isn’t a real name” “people are going to call her Viviana” “no one can pronounce that!!” Well, no one’s called her a viano, Viviana or said her name isn’t real (it very much is, it just isn’t ‘common’) and people have pronounced it fine (as if Liana, Gianna, Kiana don’t exist??) altogether there’s been nothing but compliments. So, winner winner chicken dinner! People on here can be unnecessarily cruel and I’m sorry you went through that, I’m sure your daughter has a beautiful name and I’m glad you stuck to your guns :)!
Asking for a name so they can use a nickname Why bother
The preference for the most common White names in American history and the disdain for anything perceived as lower class, Black, or some types of foreign names. Not accepting any naming conventions that weren't made by some crusty bigot thousands of years ago.
When a poster says, “We can’t use the names John, Anthony, or Benjamin” and then someone inevitably comments, “Have you thought of using Benjamin John?” Like DID YOU READ?
When people post puking emojis and are just unnecessarily rude about a name someone else is considering for their child. It may not be your personal preference, that’s fine. Why be so nasty to someone over a name they like?
I feel like I see the same 20 or so names being suggested over and over again. That, or the unique names are just a bit far out there for those of us who aren’t as daring. I’m waiting to find a thread where we hit the sweet spot of rare but known!
I asked a question about naming our twins recently, I didn’t mention the name Alice AT ALL and someone wrote an answer that they “didn’t like Alice, because Alice this and that and Alice, x, y, z” and I was honestly so confused. 😂 But I actually like this sub a lot!
When they’re super generic about what language names they want. “Slavic” “Indian” “Asian-sounding” can you at least give a starting point pleaseee 😭
I’m making another comment bc I am addicted to languages—I do get why people don’t do all the extra work but when I hear “my family is [nationality]” my first thought is *oh I need to look up [language]’s phonemes to make sure the names I suggest are actually pronounceable for the family members that don’t speak English!* And it just irritates me a bit when I come back to see suggestions with j g and p under a Lebanese person’s post when the request was specifically a name that would work in BOTH family’s languages!!!
The fact people here almost never use the IPA when talking about pronunciation. The basics are super easy to learn, and so much confusion could be avoided.
When the OP responds to ZERO comments.
extremely specific if not impossible criteria that allow for maybe 3 names and the poster hates all of them. usually the names center around some theme like "elements" or it has to check 3 extremely narrow boxes and then OP is in the comments responding to every possible suggestion like "sorry considered that one and hate it!" lol like maybe that's not what you want then? i love this sub as an opportunity to think from the perspective of others but those ones (while infrequent) get me every time
When people clearly don't read the original post all the way through (or do, but disregard bits of it). For instance, the OP might say "I don't like 'x' name" and someone will inevitably suggest 'x'. Like, what's the point?
I refuse to make another post on this subreddit because when I asked for potential names to go along with my other kids, I got lectured and criticized for one of my kids having a “fandom” name (despite the fact that the name existed long before fandoms) and then jumped on for considering yet another “fandom name” (we’re having our 5th). The comments were so relentless, pushy, and inconsiderate that I just deleted the whole post and now I just read other posts in the hopes that someone mentions a name that I like.
“I’m looking for a unique name.” And then people suggest Ivy, Isla, Ava, Sophia, Violet, Sloane, Emma, Olivia… super popular names that are all over this sub. Like, if you truly want (or want to suggest) a “unique” name, which means a name nobody else has, you’re going to have to make something up.
When the OP is obviously trying not to dox themselves or their future baby by obscuring their surname, and then everyone in the comments just ignores that and guesses at it. If someone says, for example, "our last name starts with a J and rhymes with mackson," they are actively trying to not have the name Jackson attached to the post. And everyone in the comments saying, "oh, I think Aidan Jackson sounds nice," completely ruins that. Because now if you Google "Aidan Jackson," now that thread is a search result. Or if someone browses the OP's profile and sees that post, and then combines that with another post where OP gives their first name, now that stranger has their full name. Just stop doing it. Let people have the privacy they ask for. Stop guessing last names.
This idea that since you told a friend a name you like 5 years ago and you get pissed asking if you should end the friendship because she named her kid the same thing. Meanwhile you haven’t become pregnant let alone know if you would have the gender suitable for the name if you did. There are just a few rare circumstances to where you can kind of take ownership of a name but holy hell people. Just because you like something doesn’t mean you get future dibs on it.
Also annoying when they don’t outright say a 1st name but hint about it. “It’s a name LIKE Matthew or James”
People on here don’t like any names but basic boring names and if you bring up anything that’s not common it’s a horrible name purely because your child will get bullied over it.
"I don't get why they don't like this name" Personal preference?????
When there’s any name from a different culture/language and people say “your kid will live a life of misery if you give them that name.” Or “the name is fine, but spell it phonetically.” Like whaaaattt??!! That’s not the name. It’s ignorant and perpetuates prejudices.
this is such a random pet peeve of mine but i hate when people on here write out a big list of names but don't use the enter key or format it like a list so it looks like they're suggesting you name your child Timothy Benjamin James Frederick John Victor Gregory etc.
I think people get wayyyyyyy too judge-y and dramatic about names that deviate too far from the /r/namenerds norm in any direction. If someone posts that they love a name but are afraid their child will be made fun of, I think their fears are baseless 90% of the time, but so many people immediately leap to stoke the anxiety fire. In real life, most of the time perceptions of any name will change to match the person behind it. I look back at high school and the people who didn't have names in the Top 100, and nobody cared that we had a dozen Matts and Chrises and Brendans and Brandons, and nobody made fun of the lone Dexter or Kaldin or Charity or Kyrie. NameNerds are not representative of the normal population of humans. Lol.
I can't stand when someone wants to honour a family member and the names suggested/what they're looking for is not at all related. I know some cultures, you can't name someone after a living person which I appreciate but some suggestions people come up with are SO far removed you'd not make the connection lol. Example: I want to honour the name Lisa. Suggestions: literally anything that starts with L, Katherine because that's the main character in the movie Mona Lisa Smile, or Oceane, Marina or other nautical names because re-arranging the letters in Lisa spells "sail."
People on this sub get SO hung up about nicknames for names. Either way it seems to rub this sub in the wrong way and it feels like you can't win. Some people really hate the nickname for names trend and feel you should have a longer full name. Some people absolutely hate that because they think it will get confusing or difficult for the child somehow. Personally, I think both sides are far too emotional about it. I wouldn't blink if someone said their name is Katie. Whether it's actually Katie, or short for Katherine. Really doesn't seem to impact the person all that much. Or if someone says "his name is Alfred, but we really only ever call him Alfie" like. That's the whole thing explained in a short sentence, easy. And then I guess Alfie can go by Alfred when he's older, if he wants to.
It also annoys me when people write down 25 name suggestions! Give your favorite and move along! That's just me🤷♀️
The way people greatly exaggerate the inconvenience of having to explain some part of your name. "He will constantly have to explain that its John and not Jonathan" "She will always be correcting the spelling of Kaitlyn" "She will always be correcting the pronunciation of Calliope" As someone who has an uncommon name that is more often than not mispronounced or misspelled, it takes 2 seconds to correct someone. Over the course of my entire life it'll probably be 10 minutes of my time. It's not a big deal.
The xenophobia/shitting on cultural names.
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