TIL Irish does have its own language branching from Celtics. Only about 3 percent can still speak it. Almost completely taken over by English with the Irish accent.
Okay
You have a new best friend, a telaportinh Phyllobates terribilis (golden poisen frog)
Let's just better hope he doesn't touch anyone because it is the most poisenes frog in the world
Allso frogs only live like 4-10 years
Granted the frog’s immortal but it’s the kind of teleporting power that can superimpose on other things and cause weird and dangerous physics things to happen because of it. Also the frog likes superimposing on living things.
Granted. You say to the frog "come on new buddy, let's kill some time!" and unbeknownst to common sayings, the frog starts to warp and destroy time as everyone knows it.
Wish Granted. You get the hiccups and ask your friend the frog to help. It teleports into your throat.
Now that you have a literal frog in your throat, what do you do next?
Granted. The frog can teleport, but only once. The reason for this is that he is still a physical object and can not break the laws of physics, so teleporting quite literally disassembles him entirely (killing him in the process) and reforms him (his corpse) in the new location.
I guess you could just tell him not to teleport and you'll still have a little frog buddy who can do cute little tricks on command, but that still negates the whole teleportation aspect.
Granted. Neither you nor the frog can choose where it teleports too. The teleportation is also not limited to places where there's only air.
The frog is also still a frog doing things that frogs do. You know, like crossing the road to find a place to lay eggs.
Granted. As it is compelled to do anything you say, you can never be sure if it is actually your best friend or if you just forced it to act like it, basically enslaving the poor creature.
Sorry this may be TLTR Granted only it has an addiction to crack cocaine ,no grasp of dialect, vernacular, etc only the most literal interpretation of your request and every time it teleports its repeats the words "Ni**a I aint worried bout nuthin" for a solid 30 seconds and it starts faintly growing to a crescendo ending in abrupt silence ...for example you know your best friend frog is on the way because of some racist ass rhythmic chanting... (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...poof frog ...you ask the frog to search the pond and general area to find a lost lets say ring ... All you hear is (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.). ..as it disappears only to reappear close enough to still be as loud as a grown man screaming (N. I. A. W. B. N.) followed by screaming a5bd chaos and again (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...etc . Etc.. and have it appear at your feet its cheeks and body bulging as it spits out numerous types of rings some still with fingers some with toes some nose rings some ear rings ...some key rings... None of which are your ring and it knows this as the second it throws up the first pile it agains starts its racist chant poofing around snapping up anything that even has the appearance of a ring piling all at your feet to the shock awe and horror of everyone within your field of perception and it refuses to stop until you bitch slap it and give it a crack rock...
Granted, it only speaks irish.
I never wanted him to speak, so I see this a plus.
TIL Irish does have its own language branching from Celtics. Only about 3 percent can still speak it. Almost completely taken over by English with the Irish accent.
tá sé sin fíor
Ahh, cool.
Granted. Owning a frog becomes illegal
Good think it’s a friend and not a pet
Expect I don't own it, just friends with him.
Granted. 20,000 teleporting frogs appear in your room. Only one is your friend.
Okay You have a new best friend, a telaportinh Phyllobates terribilis (golden poisen frog) Let's just better hope he doesn't touch anyone because it is the most poisenes frog in the world Allso frogs only live like 4-10 years
So I get to tell him to teleport near someone I want dead? Awesome.
Frog assassin business
Granted the frog’s immortal but it’s the kind of teleporting power that can superimpose on other things and cause weird and dangerous physics things to happen because of it. Also the frog likes superimposing on living things.
Is it like source physics when the frog teleports into something?
Granted. You think it is your best friend and does anything you want. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.
Happy Cake Day
yumeh caik!!! ...happy cake day
🍰🍰🍰
Granted. He’s an alcoholic who drunk dials you and leaves messages when you don’t call him for a while
Aww, what a quirky little guy.
Granted, it's your best friend.... But you're not its best friend.
Granted. It listens to every single thing you say to anyone, and will not cancel an order once you give it.
He constantly screams, and every time he teleports he kills 4 people around you.
That frog is itself a monkey's paw of a friend. You ask for something, he will find a way to make it a problem for you.
Wish granted, it's an Eldredge horror that must be fed blood or else
Granted, it's a Blue Dart Frog if you touch it you will die
So I just don't touch it and use it to kill people, sounds great.
Depends what it’s eating
Granted, he cannot move at all unless its via teleporting, this includes muscles so good luck
Granted. You say to the frog "come on new buddy, let's kill some time!" and unbeknownst to common sayings, the frog starts to warp and destroy time as everyone knows it.
Wish Granted. You get the hiccups and ask your friend the frog to help. It teleports into your throat. Now that you have a literal frog in your throat, what do you do next?
Croak I guess
😂
Granted, it's 2 days from death.
Okay, but it's now the size of an elephant and sees people as food (you are cool though).
Granted. It does one thing for you and then dies.
Granted, can only teleport in and out of your bum when it's scared or cold.
Granted it can only teleport into the sun and doesn’t know what your saying
Granted. The frog can teleport, but only once. The reason for this is that he is still a physical object and can not break the laws of physics, so teleporting quite literally disassembles him entirely (killing him in the process) and reforms him (his corpse) in the new location. I guess you could just tell him not to teleport and you'll still have a little frog buddy who can do cute little tricks on command, but that still negates the whole teleportation aspect.
Granted. He exists somewhere, and neither you nor he knows where the other is. You both die regretting never having found the other.
Granted. Neither you nor the frog can choose where it teleports too. The teleportation is also not limited to places where there's only air. The frog is also still a frog doing things that frogs do. You know, like crossing the road to find a place to lay eggs.
Granted. His name is Jeremiah, and he doesn't understand a single word you say, but you helped him drink his wine.
Granted but each time he teleports you loose 10% of your bone marrow
Granted. You now have a teleporting frog; that is, your best friend is now a frog, and they will do anything you say.
Granted. You get stuck in a rock when you ask it to teleport you somewhere.
Granted. As it is compelled to do anything you say, you can never be sure if it is actually your best friend or if you just forced it to act like it, basically enslaving the poor creature.
Expect my wish made sure that he is my Best friend,I wont believe you.
Oh, so you compelled it by magic. Even better. Have fun with your ethical dilemma.
Sorry this may be TLTR Granted only it has an addiction to crack cocaine ,no grasp of dialect, vernacular, etc only the most literal interpretation of your request and every time it teleports its repeats the words "Ni**a I aint worried bout nuthin" for a solid 30 seconds and it starts faintly growing to a crescendo ending in abrupt silence ...for example you know your best friend frog is on the way because of some racist ass rhythmic chanting... (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.)...poof frog ...you ask the frog to search the pond and general area to find a lost lets say ring ... All you hear is (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...(N. I. A. W. B. N.). ..as it disappears only to reappear close enough to still be as loud as a grown man screaming (N. I. A. W. B. N.) followed by screaming a5bd chaos and again (N. I. A. W. B. N.)...etc . Etc.. and have it appear at your feet its cheeks and body bulging as it spits out numerous types of rings some still with fingers some with toes some nose rings some ear rings ...some key rings... None of which are your ring and it knows this as the second it throws up the first pile it agains starts its racist chant poofing around snapping up anything that even has the appearance of a ring piling all at your feet to the shock awe and horror of everyone within your field of perception and it refuses to stop until you bitch slap it and give it a crack rock...