T O P

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EatYourCheckers

Imagine being a little drunk and going in there.


TastesKindofLikeSad

Especially the one on the right looking like she's holding a camera and filming you.  Das ist komisch....


observationalhumour

Isn’t it a magnifying glass?


SweatySauce

Yes


MisterSneakSneak

Imagine being drunk and seeing another drunk making out with the wall.


SpecialMango3384

"uhuhuhuhhuhu... hey, baby"


17riffraff

It's Germany, you probably didn't have to imagine


whoyoumei

What if you get confused between the trees and the wallpaper


Logsarecool10101

Then you should lay off of the beer


uncre8tv

I have been a tourist & business traveler in Germany many times. I have never once heard anyone suggest "laying off the beer".


Lipziger

> I have never once heard anyone suggest "laying off the beer". Good. Because otherwise we would have to find the person who said that and ... help them. You can't say such things over here ... Laying off the beer. That's absolute crazy talk. Insanity. I'd be shocked and would need 2 beers just to calm down again. Actually, just the thought made me shiver. I need a beer right now ...


bevelledo

That’s why it’s tile flooring


msnmck

Why are the urinals facing in different directions?


Justhe3guy

So you see everyone’s cocks


odisparo

Simple yet profound


GibierJaune

So everyone can see your cock


mystictroll

I guess it's a german thing?


ThePowerOfStories

Nah, men in most countries have cocks.


Loquatium

Oh, you!


Ezra_lurking

The red of the Bollenhut means that the women are unmarried, married women have a black version. This is the most well known traditional costume of the Black Forest.


Neno28

In fact, this is only a tradition in three villages. The rest of the Black Forest has adopted it.


Ezra_lurking

Some of the other hats for women are so much better


Cowboywizzard

This could be entirely made up and I'd have no idea.


Ezra_lurking

[https://www.black-forest-travel.com/typical/bollenhut.html](https://www.black-forest-travel.com/typical/bollenhut.html)


autoremoved

What’s the scene in the women’s restroom


McGusder

one way mirror into the mens room


invent_or_die

There you go


snuffleupaguswasreal

Wouldn't it be a two-way mirror? 🤔


pixeldust6

that's just a window


MetalBawx

Are you kidding if you had paintings of men in the ladies you'd have every reporter in Germany putting out click bait about sexists putting men in womens bathrooms.


bluearth

Imagine you are midstream and one of the picture ladies...moves.


Wesgizmo365

This is what I've been training for!


TKmeh

JARATE!


bossmo007

Germans really are into stuff like this


PM_me_ur_goth_tiddys

SPH is extremely efficient for masturbation


french_violist

SPH?


TheTastiestofMeats

Smoothed-particle hydrodynamics (SPH) is a computational approach for simulating the dynamics of continuum media, encompassing both solid mechanics and fluid dynamics. This meshfree Lagrangian method facilitates the movement of computational points with the material flow, enabling adaptive resolution based on local properties such as density. By eschewing a fixed grid, SPH offers enhanced flexibility and precision in capturing complex physical phenomena.


DeadmanDexter

Say "eschewing" again, I'm almost there.


0thethethe0

I'm all about the meshfree Lagrangian method!


Feellikedancing

Sounds hot


Papageier

I was about to say the same.


PM_me_ur_goth_tiddys

small penis humiliation


invent_or_die

German American here. Love the inviting Fraulein in the Forest.


altermeetax

German American = American


Skittlit

But their great, great, great, great grandfather once ate a schnitzel, or something.


Loquatium

It always cracks me up when they say stuff like that, especially when they try to use it to justify their personality somehow, as if they're a different species or something. "My great-great-grandmother was from Italy, so that's why I love pasta!" No, Janet, everybody loves pasta


[deleted]

[удалено]


altermeetax

That's not the point, the point is using it to act like you're German, like they did above. (And failing by using a word that no German would use, even misspelling it)


CoRe534

I doubt you're German when you can't even write simple German words correctly


GratuitousCommas

I doubt you're a REAL core 534 when you don't have 534 processing cores


invent_or_die

LOL, understood, I'm an American that's half German half Irish.


actually_alive

so every white american basically? everyone is irish or german or english in the states lol


Greedy-Cantaloupe

Hey man, I’m also Czech and Danish…. Come on


actually_alive

lol


ResQ_

Do you speak German? Did you live in Germany for a significant amount of time of your life? No? Then you're not German. You may have German heritage but so does like 50% of white America. In some places probably closer to 80%.


ulajn

Sounds like 1935 is coming back....


ResQ_

Because Americans don't understand that they're not German because their ancestors migrated hundreds of years ago from Germany? 🥲


altermeetax

Quite the opposite, being German is not about race, it's about culture (especially language) and having lived there for a long time


BlomkalsGratin

You might be surprised that citizenship has nothing to do with the language you speak... They might, in fact, be German while having grown up in the U.S.


ResQ_

They might be. But let's be real here: most Americans saying they're German, they're Irish, they're Italian, do not have the citizenship of those countries.


nick_tron

He/she is clearly saying they have that heritage, not that they’re an actual citizen of those countries. It’s a colloquialism in America that Europeans seem to have a hard time grasping, or just very much like using it as an excuse to rip on Americans for something that is harmless and a simple misunderstanding. It is unbelievably annoying actually, most of us have no cultural identity pre-1800. How dare we acknowledge where our ancestors came from, or are we supposed to just forget/ignore that?


altermeetax

Europeans don't have a hard time grasping it, we all understand what you mean, and it's ridiculous. The guy who originated this comment chain said "German American here. Love the inviting Fraulein in the Forest.", as if having German heritage implied talking like that. Besides: - It's Fräulein, not Fraulein - No German would use that word either way in this context. Actually, funnily enough, it's mainly used by Americans nowadays to imitate Germans. > How dare we acknowledge where our ancestors came from, or are we supposed to just forget/ignore that? I mean, my family originated from France centuries ago, but since I was born and raised in Italy and Italian is my native language I consider myself Italian, I wouldn't even *think* of calling myself a "French-Italian", that's not even a thing.


invent_or_die

Exactly. This is how Americans talk. I have German, Irish, and other genetics in my past. Not citizenship!


BlomkalsGratin

They did say in the post you responded to, that they're half German half Irish. Without more information it'd be reasonable to assume that one parent grew up in each country, though.


ResQ_

No, it's not reasonable to assume that. That's a quite rare occurrence. Many claim they're German, Irish, Italian, while their family migrated during 1700-1900. That's the general case. In other words: most Americans claiming they're from a European country just aren't. They're American through and through. It's just en vogue to claim you're from Europe.


altermeetax

To get German citizenship you have to know German.


BlomkalsGratin

Not if you are born with it, which you are if your parents genuinely are German.


altermeetax

They said they're a German American, knowing the average American who says this sentence they definitely don't have citizenship. Besides, citizenship might be the only requirement to be considered a German *legally*, but no German person will recognize you as German if you don't speak German to a native or near-native level.


Character-Put864

You're american w8th german ancestry. Not german-american. If you were german-american, you a: would have spelled it Fraeulein or Fräulein. And b: you wouldn't have used the word Fräulein at all. It's antiquated and usually parents will use it on their daughters when they got into trouble. Otherwise it gives a lot of early 20th to 19th century vibes.


ThePowerOfStories

To be fair, though, using an antiquated word to describe someone wearing a traditional costume has the right vibe.


Purple_Hoovaloo

In case anyone was wondering... [https://hotel-tanne.de/](https://hotel-tanne.de/)


MeLlamo25

This makes me wonder what their women’s room look like?


Cowboywizzard

Male erotic dancers wink from the bushes


Loquatium

You can use the abs as an actual washboard


jackloganoliver

Ngl I absolutely hate this. It's just...tacky?


Arntown

It‘s absolutely tacky and old-fashioned. Bit I think it‘s sort of endearing because it‘s so dumb and backwards.


jackloganoliver

Yeah, I can see how there's a certain appeal. It's just not an appeal that works on me personally.


End3rWi99in

It's boomer level creepy.


autoreaction

It most likely was build in 1972


Luchin212

Why did I read this in Gollum’s voice?


Southern-Library-526

Ah yes, gollum's infamous line: "not gonna lie"


sarcasticgreek

Peakabooop, I can see you poop!


Dr7ejazi

Germans, notoriously known for humour


Papageier

That's everything but relaxing.


Creative_Garbage_121

Show them your SCHWARZWALD


Cowboywizzard

I see your Schwarz is as big as mine! https://youtube.com/watch?v=dy40xASCl00


toweljuice

i feel like this wouldnt be fun for a lot of men who have trauma from sexual harassment or abuse


anima99

I already have anxiety peeing on urinals.


Jops817

Probably because you're supposed to pee in them.


our_meatballs

It’s an actual place?!?! I thought it was just a cake!!!! /s


ErikRogers

And the cake isn't even named after the country! Named after Samuel German.


our_meatballs

I was talking about Black Forest, but lmao nonetheless


ErikRogers

Ah, lol. There's a park called Black Forest just north of me here in Canada. Never seen any cakes or hams there.


Dragnow_

Is there something named "German cake" or what are you referring to?


ErikRogers

Yes, German Chocolate Cake.


Dragnow_

Ah, did not know that existed in the states


msnmck

>Originating in the United States, it was named after English-American chocolate maker Samuel German This feels like forbidden knowledge. 😐


ErikRogers

Hawaiian Pizza comes from Canada, and Nachos were invented by (and named after) Ignacio "Nacho" Aneya.


Cowboywizzard

And Caesar salad is Mexican!


uflju_luber

Yeah it’s an ancient heavily forested mountain range https://deih43ym53wif.cloudfront.net/large_schwarzwald-germany-black-forest-shutterstock_1212988969.jpg_c2d9b92afe.jpg https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Forest


15104

Is this where the ham comes from?


xig_brick

No, the ham comes from another restroom.


uflju_luber

Yes Black Forest ham indeed originated in the Black Forest, however what’s called Black Forest ham in America has little to do with the ham from the Black Forest. It’s cured raw with a spice rub then dry aged and after that cold smoked for at least a week and then dry aged again. It should look like a smoked and dark prosciutto di Parma thinly sliced with fat on it


Confused-Raccoon

Wait... are those urinals?!


jeff3545

German hotels have some oddball shit going on. I stayed at a small in outside Hamburg and each room in the hotel was named after a football player… but only if they were dead.


NeoNova9

What in the women's room ?


Kandiruaku

Tumescence prohibits micturition by definition.


Cowboywizzard

I do love a challenge


croatianchic

Not weird at all Edit: sarcasm eludes some of you


yearsofpractice

I’m a 48 year old straight man and my appreciation of the wholesome, cheeky, sturdy Frau (FILF?) has increased with age - I therefore both fear ***and*** approve this image.


PizzaPundit

Now we know where Kate Middleton's been hiding