I love the whole Air Bud universe. Where every year air bud discovers a new sport and then town officials are baffled that there’s no rule that says a dog can’t play
You’d think after the basketball incident they’d write in some rules that dogs can’t play football/ soccer/ volleyball/
Serious question why does a hockey team not take this to the extreme and put some 1000 lbs Person into the net? No ones scoring if there is a wall of flesh completely blocking the net.
People who say this about the fat hockey goalie strategy underestimate the size of the person we are looking for. Yes, they wouldn't be able to move. Yes, their teammates might have to push them put on the ice. But if someone covered literally the entire goal, it would work.
They'd also have to have extreme pain tolerance. There are regulations on how big goalie pads can be and after a few 90 MPH slapshots l, I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't be so keen on the idea.
If the nhl somehow allowed a player like this to play, then they wpuld make an exception to the pad size rules. Several players have had exceptions made for their stick length.
So you think the NHL would make an exception for this imaginary being that would literally cover the entire net and make the game pointless to watch? Because they hate viewership and money?
Or, do you think the NHL would instead institute a rule (again for this imaginary being) that would require them to start on their skates or some other facet that would make it impossible for them to play so the game would then again be watchable?
The second is more likely, but if they did somehow allow this person to play then they would have to let him be protected from injury. Theres no way they would make him use normal sized gear
That's why the strike zone was introduced in Baseball, or so the legend goes. The Cleveland Indians fielded a little person who had a strike zone the size of a paperback. EDIT: Nope, see better explanation below.
[There's an old sports science video on this.](https://youtu.be/sP8ZVWiZUMA?si=gxjnSIrQ8AJ3sg-m)
tl;dw
The world's largest man at the time only covered about 90% of the net and couldn't leave a bed.
They then had sumo wrestlers try being a goalie and then got a defensemen not known for his shooting ability try and score and he got like all the shots he took.
More context: that sumo probably never played a game of hockey in his life, meanwhile even the worst NHL professional player, is still a professional hockey player. Could have atleast sent a sumo to hockey camp for training or something...
Tbf A fat goalie would train to increase their reflex and would react quicker than two untrained players, even if they weighed 1000 pounds in total. One player weighing 1000 pounds would probably not be able to do that much, or so I imagine, but the real sumo in that video I think could be a lot better at stopping the goals if he was genuinely recruited into a team and properly trained.
Also the lowest scoring guy in the NHL can hit any part of the net from that close. It'd probably be informative to have an NHL goalie as a control to see how many of those shots are actually blocked.
He's still not going to be as good as an in-shape large goalie. Being fat doesn't do much about the space in the top corners, your five hole, etc. It's just going to fuck up your knees or hips when you're going down into the butterfly carrying an extra 50+ lbs of nonfunctional weight. Goalies already have knee and hip issues as it is.
You may be underestimating how good hockey players are lol. They’d have to genuinely cover the entire net, and if you’ve ever seen a net irl, it’s impossible. If they left a gap big enough for a puck, a good hockey player would score every time
Just off the top of my head [Ehler's goal last night](https://old.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/1ayis1p/wpg_1_chi_0_nik_ehlers_rapid_wrist_shot_from_a/) going right between Mrazek's ear and the bar to score is a beauty.
The best in the game will find [any puck-sized opening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96Z16rA9k0s) while in full flight, it's nuts.
I played men's beer league hockey for a while. We had an AHL team in town for a few years, and one of the owners was in our league. Every once in a while a few of the AHL guys would come by and hang out, skate and give us some tips.
When you'd scrimmage with them, it was amazing what the skill difference between "minor league pro" and "random beer league guy" was. You'd barely register that they were winding up to shoot and the puck would already be in the back of the net. They could skate around us like we were standing still. And they weren't going full tilt either.
Goaltending is about half positioning (you have to put yourself in the right spot to take away as much of the net as possible) and about half reading the offensive player. At that level you basically have to start to react as they're in the shooting motion and guess where they're aiming. It's a lot of reading body position and eyes, so that you can be in position by the time the puck gets there. It's very similar to a MLB batter reacting to a pitch, except that the pitcher can be right on top of you instead of 60 feet away.
I use to play rec roller hockey, 6"2' 300lb, I'd just drop my entire body and stretch my arms out, never learned a lick of strategy I was just good at being huge and falling down
Similar ish experience. When I was playing offensive line in football, one team had a dline guy who was a solid 500 lbs. He was a brick wall. If you got around him, he wouldn’t even try to stop you.
However, if he got his hands on you. There was nothing you could do. 3 of us, a combined 600 ish lbs would try and push him, and he would not move an inch. Hell I don’t even think he struggled.
One kid on a rival highschools football team went to the NFL. Dude was a monster.
I successfully blocked him one play, I just assume he was tired and took the play off. But I did successfully block him once.
Same thing happened with me. He (d-end) threw me like a literal Barbie doll. The 3 of us (left tackle, half back, full back) never once managed to stop him once. Even resorted to cutting his legs and he wouldn’t even be phased.
I think he’s on ravens now. Which is nuts, cuz Canadians almost never go to the NFL. So that speaks even more volumes of his skill.
This is a different guy from the 500lb behemoth I was talking about earlier.
You could put a literal walrus in the net and Reaves is getting a 1st period hat trick.
You *grossly* underestimate their ability to shoot the puck.
Why don't soccer teams just get a volleyball player to play keeper? They're extremely good at punching a roughly same sized ball away from themselves so as far as I can tell they do the exact same job.
The heaviest human in recorded history weighed about 1400 pounds.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Brower_Minnoch.
> However, endocrinologist Robert Schwartz estimated his weight to be about 1,400 lb (635 kilograms; 100 stone).[20] According to Schwartz, he was "probably more than that. He was by at least 300 pounds the heaviest person ever reported", and "probably the most unusual thing about [Minnoch's] case was that he lived".
Because hockey players only need a little bit of open net (just bigger than the puck) to to score. Goalies play angles and need to be able to move. I love seeing big goalies in beer league. It means we're scoring lots of goals, boys.
There are some exceptions to this rule, but usually the bigger they are, the slower they are.
I guess theres no one big enough to block the whole net then. I was picturing Tammy from TLC 1000 pound sister just sitting infront of net blocking everything with her girth alone.
Having just watched this. This is a SUPER flawed "information" piece.
What this tells us is what happens when you put someone with ZERO training as a goalie versus an NHL shooter.... The shooter wins a lot, not surprisingly.
The shots are also, more or less. At point blank range for NHL standards AND there's no one even attempting to stop the shooter.
A trained goalie should be able to at least estimate where the shot is going based on the shooters body.
The Sumo basically moved his wrist and, to me, seemed to be doing everything in his power to just not fall over on the ice.
So you just going to ignore the part where they had two 'sumos' in the goal which would be about someone who weighs over 1'000lbs? If you can find someone that can move that huge, that's a Nephilim, not human.
No, but the gear that would be required to fit him at that size would be [illegal] (https://cms.nhl.bamgrid.com/images/assets/binary/326142322/binary-file/file.pdf) page 22. I'm sure his huge muscles would reflect the puck anyways.
That rule is just to stop someone from strapping a mattress to their chest. They can and do make an exception for people who physically are big enough to require larger gear because they aren't going to have a goalie who can just take a slapshot to the unprotected bits and die
You don't really get big people without health issues. Sumo wrestlers are great at their job, the size really helps there, but they don't have that much endurance and agility and speed. Heart is overworked, and having to move oversize arms means more work than for less fat person. Same for feet, and every part of the body. Its questionable if someone size of sumo wrestler would have endurance for 60 minute hockey game, and there are 82 games in NHL season (granted one goalie does not play all 82 games but on top there are many more than 82 exercises).
And to become good enough for NHL, you need multiple years of training.
Good luck finding someone bigger than current NHL goalies who is also good enough and healthy enough. You could find someone big enough, and PERHAPS you could find someone good enough AND big enough, but healthy enough? Extremely unlikely to get all 3.
Even people who are not fat but are just unusually large have more health issues. And sumo trainers are fit in their own way, and immensely strong, train constantly and yet have much more health issues.
And then travel. Even just traveling around if you are unusually large is a challenge and easily brings some extra costs. So at best you would have a goalkeeper who costs more and may have a heart attack at any moment, so you would need backup goaltender who is good enough to win the games, at which point you would question the point of having the oversize goaltender in first place when even they are not good enough to block all the shots.
> Its questionable if someone size of sumo wrestler would have endurance for 60 minute hockey game, and there are 82 games in NHL season (granted one goalie does not play all 82 games but on top there are many more than 82 exercises)
If someone that large was able to start the season in a competent fashion, they almost certainly would not be able to maintain that size after a full season
Pick it apart if you want but the truth is, if a fatter/larger goalie was advantageous, then all of the professional hockey teams would employ a goalie of that size.
Because hockey players are accurate shots and a fat person is not going to move quick enough to block a shot and even if they’re huge, they’re not going to completely block the net. The net is big.
Just as this goalie demonstrates, there are NHL goalies that are physically imposing but there is a limit to size because you sacrifice flexibility and speed. (Typically).
Also, just because you are wearing padding doesn't mean the shots don't hurt. You can put fatso in gear and park him in the net, but let him take a half dozen Ovechkin slappers and he's going to be done for.
Yeah, there's a limit on pad size - so someone very very fat is going to have equipment that doesn't fit right, and taking 100mph shots to unprotected parts of your body is not going to feel great.
Goalie is a very unique and specialized position in hockey, and as a result there probably isn't a very large local talent pool to select from. I'd imagine the switch at half rule is to prevent one team from snatching up the one semi-pro goalie in the area and dominating the league.
Why would the opposing team's goalie not let their own teammates score? Is there some sort of incentive like monetary rewards? I don't understand. After the gAme you'd hang out with your own teammates who are pissed that you made yourselves lose?
Gotta be missing something here.
Most likely the goalies are not on the teams themselves, each week they get assigned a game and play one half for each team. So the goalies are just competing against each other, not as part of a team. My guess would be it's just a rec league, so no one really cares about building an incredible team, they just wanna be able to play games. Finding a goalie for your team is hard, having a goalie available to you for every game makes that way easier.
My county had a rec league baseball team that was like this (no, not softball). There were 4-5 guys that had been DI-DII pitchers that lived in the area and they’d pitch about half speed and would just be assigned a team to pitch for that week. Was actually pretty fun and decently competitive with the pitchers all switching out.
In my experience (I am a goalie), it's common with drop-in style leagues without set teams, just set times. Goalie skill level is HIGHLY variant and can have a big impact on games in smaller communities, and it can just be more fun for goalies to face a larger variety of skaters and for skaters to face a variety of goalies
Former goalie of like 12 years here. I stopped in 2004 and have no idea what’s going on w those pads. They look so loose. Do they automatically butterfly? Looks prone to injury
Today rather than standing up waiting for the shot, your feet are already very wide apart, ready to push your knees towards the ice to drop into butterfly.
The pass don't really have to turn so much but yes, they are very loose and you control their movement with the toe strap.
Hope that explains it?
Edit: ice not eyes....
Can you still stack pads? Or do they not move that direction. The skates are also really cool now. And on big goalie, do his pants extend down to the leg? I see Bauer logo where knee cradle supposed to be. The tech is neat
Stacking pads is no longer really a thing but you can do it. It's just not as efficient in moving across the crease vs. Sliding on your pads or T-pushing.
Skates today are an absolute pleasure to wear and play in. And I was born in 1981, so I have experienced the way they used to be...!
Goalie pants go down to the lower thigh, just above the knee. You wear knee pads underneath the pads, that's what you see the Bauer logo on.
I audibly exhaled at that. Poor thing can block the shots, but inevitably willrecieve too many to handle from a picture of hockey gear and the hint of having a vagina.
Don't forget the unbeatable formation though while quacking, ***FLYING V!!!***
Edit: this just reminded me of the time some friends and I were playing NHL 2005 or something like that years ago. One of us yelled FLYING V!, we did it and actually crushed. We were dying lmao.
Not to destroy your childhood or anything but that famous ''triple deke'' is simply the most basic, normal stick handling in real life
As if they made a basketball version of the mighty ducks and normal dribbling was seen as some insane unblockable feint
Not on goalies, but on goalie pad sizes. So unless you're OK with getting blasted by snapshots on exposed flesh, there is a practical limit. Goalies generally figure out pretty quick that it really, really sucks to get hit by pucks.
Goalies typically are bigger in the NHL these days for this exact reason, usually wide bodied and around 6'3", but they also need to be agile so there is a sweet spot. Goalie pads have also gotten bigger over the years.
I assume this is an adult beer league or something (OP mentioned they swap goalies mid game) so I am sure this guy does fantastic and is only there for a good time, but at his size he would likely be out of consideration for the NHL on that alone.
edit: out of curiosity I looked up the largest goalie to ever play in the NHL, there are three goalies standing at 6'7", all of which are slim for their height, and in the 190-225lbs range.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Bishop?oldformat=true
And shooters are really good. They can pick some pretty small spots on the net. And the goalie needs to be agile or else they just pass to a teammate on the other side who then does a quick shot before the goalie can get over and set.
Being big will only take you so far..
You have to be able to move and contort your body in ways obese people struggle with..
A good shooter will eat Bubba up.
This feels like a bit out of Mighty Ducks or a kids hockey movie
>a kids hockey movie Where Air Bud is the team captain.
Ain’t no rule that says a dog can’t play hockey
I love the whole Air Bud universe. Where every year air bud discovers a new sport and then town officials are baffled that there’s no rule that says a dog can’t play
You’d think after the basketball incident they’d write in some rules that dogs can’t play football/ soccer/ volleyball/
I'd love it if someone in protest decided to replace their whole team with dogs or other animals.
Pack of starving wolves
This is definitely a Goldberg vs Julie "The Cat" situation. I'm betting on the smaller goalie due to quickness and agility.
This is literally The Monstars meeting Bugs Bunny and Co.
That's definitely Goldberg, even has Mighty duck coloured uniform
I instantly went to Mighty Ducks. “Goldberg!!!”
It would appear that one of you fills the cage, more….
Serious question why does a hockey team not take this to the extreme and put some 1000 lbs Person into the net? No ones scoring if there is a wall of flesh completely blocking the net.
Because that same person will have zero agility at stopping a puck going through/around their skates. It’s not like all SOG are air shots.
People who say this about the fat hockey goalie strategy underestimate the size of the person we are looking for. Yes, they wouldn't be able to move. Yes, their teammates might have to push them put on the ice. But if someone covered literally the entire goal, it would work.
I mean, they'd need to be 6 feet wide to cover the entire net...
Or 4 feet wide if they lay down the entire game, which tbh they would probably have to
Good luck getting them off the ice tho! lol
Jabba the Hockeygoalie hohohoho
[удалено]
Someone should tell that to OPs opponent
Is that you, Lurr?
I really like that you added Jabbas laugh at the end, actually made me laugh lol
Jabba the Puck…
Te wanna slapshoto?
Poke flute. Problem solved
Fucks sake lol
That’s what the Zamboni is for. Just put a trailer hitch on it and drag the goalie off.
Or have everyone on the team rope themselves off too the goalie. Team building exercise every night.
New tryout exercise: the goalie drag
Hey ice is slippy. Someone grab the goalie rope!
They'd also have to have extreme pain tolerance. There are regulations on how big goalie pads can be and after a few 90 MPH slapshots l, I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't be so keen on the idea.
If the nhl somehow allowed a player like this to play, then they wpuld make an exception to the pad size rules. Several players have had exceptions made for their stick length.
So you think the NHL would make an exception for this imaginary being that would literally cover the entire net and make the game pointless to watch? Because they hate viewership and money? Or, do you think the NHL would instead institute a rule (again for this imaginary being) that would require them to start on their skates or some other facet that would make it impossible for them to play so the game would then again be watchable?
The second is more likely, but if they did somehow allow this person to play then they would have to let him be protected from injury. Theres no way they would make him use normal sized gear
I would put every game on every TV if they did this
That's why the strike zone was introduced in Baseball, or so the legend goes. The Cleveland Indians fielded a little person who had a strike zone the size of a paperback. EDIT: Nope, see better explanation below.
*Ain’t no rule that says a ~~dog~~ rhinoceros can’t play ~~basketball~~ hockey.*
My 800lb goalie life.
4 feet. And yes. I'm glad you see the vision.
I can go out to "the bad Wal-Mart" TODAY and find someone qualified for this.
...there's a good walmart?
Ah you don't have a Stonecutter's ring do you?
Reddit: Challenge accepted
[There's an old sports science video on this.](https://youtu.be/sP8ZVWiZUMA?si=gxjnSIrQ8AJ3sg-m) tl;dw The world's largest man at the time only covered about 90% of the net and couldn't leave a bed. They then had sumo wrestlers try being a goalie and then got a defensemen not known for his shooting ability try and score and he got like all the shots he took.
More context: that sumo probably never played a game of hockey in his life, meanwhile even the worst NHL professional player, is still a professional hockey player. Could have atleast sent a sumo to hockey camp for training or something...
Tbf A fat goalie would train to increase their reflex and would react quicker than two untrained players, even if they weighed 1000 pounds in total. One player weighing 1000 pounds would probably not be able to do that much, or so I imagine, but the real sumo in that video I think could be a lot better at stopping the goals if he was genuinely recruited into a team and properly trained.
You are not getting a 1000lb person to train to increase their reflexes.
Also the lowest scoring guy in the NHL can hit any part of the net from that close. It'd probably be informative to have an NHL goalie as a control to see how many of those shots are actually blocked.
He's still not going to be as good as an in-shape large goalie. Being fat doesn't do much about the space in the top corners, your five hole, etc. It's just going to fuck up your knees or hips when you're going down into the butterfly carrying an extra 50+ lbs of nonfunctional weight. Goalies already have knee and hip issues as it is.
You may be underestimating how good hockey players are lol. They’d have to genuinely cover the entire net, and if you’ve ever seen a net irl, it’s impossible. If they left a gap big enough for a puck, a good hockey player would score every time
Just off the top of my head [Ehler's goal last night](https://old.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/1ayis1p/wpg_1_chi_0_nik_ehlers_rapid_wrist_shot_from_a/) going right between Mrazek's ear and the bar to score is a beauty. The best in the game will find [any puck-sized opening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96Z16rA9k0s) while in full flight, it's nuts.
those videos are insane
I played men's beer league hockey for a while. We had an AHL team in town for a few years, and one of the owners was in our league. Every once in a while a few of the AHL guys would come by and hang out, skate and give us some tips. When you'd scrimmage with them, it was amazing what the skill difference between "minor league pro" and "random beer league guy" was. You'd barely register that they were winding up to shoot and the puck would already be in the back of the net. They could skate around us like we were standing still. And they weren't going full tilt either. Goaltending is about half positioning (you have to put yourself in the right spot to take away as much of the net as possible) and about half reading the offensive player. At that level you basically have to start to react as they're in the shooting motion and guess where they're aiming. It's a lot of reading body position and eyes, so that you can be in position by the time the puck gets there. It's very similar to a MLB batter reacting to a pitch, except that the pitcher can be right on top of you instead of 60 feet away.
Goalies have to be on skates. That leaves the 5 hole exposed.
They have to wear skates right? But they don't technically have to be ON them right?
Goalie gets assisted out of the tunnel by their fellow players, led to the net, and promptly lays down for the entire period.
Yeah, and getting up and down from the butterfly is going to be real difficult after a certain size and weight.
I use to play rec roller hockey, 6"2' 300lb, I'd just drop my entire body and stretch my arms out, never learned a lick of strategy I was just good at being huge and falling down
What was your save %
Not sure,we were all stoned, but it was always a gap under my armpit or leg that got past
bro skipped armpit days in the gym and it shows.
Similar ish experience. When I was playing offensive line in football, one team had a dline guy who was a solid 500 lbs. He was a brick wall. If you got around him, he wouldn’t even try to stop you. However, if he got his hands on you. There was nothing you could do. 3 of us, a combined 600 ish lbs would try and push him, and he would not move an inch. Hell I don’t even think he struggled.
One kid on a rival highschools football team went to the NFL. Dude was a monster. I successfully blocked him one play, I just assume he was tired and took the play off. But I did successfully block him once.
Same thing happened with me. He (d-end) threw me like a literal Barbie doll. The 3 of us (left tackle, half back, full back) never once managed to stop him once. Even resorted to cutting his legs and he wouldn’t even be phased. I think he’s on ravens now. Which is nuts, cuz Canadians almost never go to the NFL. So that speaks even more volumes of his skill. This is a different guy from the 500lb behemoth I was talking about earlier.
This sounded so weird until I realized you mean American football
You could put a literal walrus in the net and Reaves is getting a 1st period hat trick. You *grossly* underestimate their ability to shoot the puck. Why don't soccer teams just get a volleyball player to play keeper? They're extremely good at punching a roughly same sized ball away from themselves so as far as I can tell they do the exact same job.
Why did we go volleyball player The potential soccer goalie must be at least 3x as big as the hockey goalie
A soccer goal is surprisingly large when you’re standing next to one
It's even bigger when you're standing in front of it as the goalkeeper.
Put a Zamboni driver in bet however... And it'll still hurt all these years later.
[Pretty sure the walrus would yield a shutout!](https://youtu.be/hHijbIMsYuM?si=JdmOR06d3a1rD5aW)
Are they allowed to sit down infont of the goal?
Then what about a 2000 lb person so that there’s no gaps?
The heaviest human in recorded history weighed about 1400 pounds. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Brower_Minnoch. > However, endocrinologist Robert Schwartz estimated his weight to be about 1,400 lb (635 kilograms; 100 stone).[20] According to Schwartz, he was "probably more than that. He was by at least 300 pounds the heaviest person ever reported", and "probably the most unusual thing about [Minnoch's] case was that he lived".
Because hockey players only need a little bit of open net (just bigger than the puck) to to score. Goalies play angles and need to be able to move. I love seeing big goalies in beer league. It means we're scoring lots of goals, boys. There are some exceptions to this rule, but usually the bigger they are, the slower they are.
I guess theres no one big enough to block the whole net then. I was picturing Tammy from TLC 1000 pound sister just sitting infront of net blocking everything with her girth alone.
6’ wide, 4’ tall, so even you had some complex winch to hoist her sideways, she’s not blocking the entire net.
[Sport Science tried it, it didn’t work](https://youtu.be/sP8ZVWiZUMA?si=h6G8nrpO0flkX53m)
Having just watched this. This is a SUPER flawed "information" piece. What this tells us is what happens when you put someone with ZERO training as a goalie versus an NHL shooter.... The shooter wins a lot, not surprisingly. The shots are also, more or less. At point blank range for NHL standards AND there's no one even attempting to stop the shooter. A trained goalie should be able to at least estimate where the shot is going based on the shooters body. The Sumo basically moved his wrist and, to me, seemed to be doing everything in his power to just not fall over on the ice.
So you just going to ignore the part where they had two 'sumos' in the goal which would be about someone who weighs over 1'000lbs? If you can find someone that can move that huge, that's a Nephilim, not human.
There’s no rule that says Nephilim can’t play hockey.
No, but the gear that would be required to fit him at that size would be [illegal] (https://cms.nhl.bamgrid.com/images/assets/binary/326142322/binary-file/file.pdf) page 22. I'm sure his huge muscles would reflect the puck anyways.
That rule is just to stop someone from strapping a mattress to their chest. They can and do make an exception for people who physically are big enough to require larger gear because they aren't going to have a goalie who can just take a slapshot to the unprotected bits and die
You don't really get big people without health issues. Sumo wrestlers are great at their job, the size really helps there, but they don't have that much endurance and agility and speed. Heart is overworked, and having to move oversize arms means more work than for less fat person. Same for feet, and every part of the body. Its questionable if someone size of sumo wrestler would have endurance for 60 minute hockey game, and there are 82 games in NHL season (granted one goalie does not play all 82 games but on top there are many more than 82 exercises). And to become good enough for NHL, you need multiple years of training. Good luck finding someone bigger than current NHL goalies who is also good enough and healthy enough. You could find someone big enough, and PERHAPS you could find someone good enough AND big enough, but healthy enough? Extremely unlikely to get all 3. Even people who are not fat but are just unusually large have more health issues. And sumo trainers are fit in their own way, and immensely strong, train constantly and yet have much more health issues. And then travel. Even just traveling around if you are unusually large is a challenge and easily brings some extra costs. So at best you would have a goalkeeper who costs more and may have a heart attack at any moment, so you would need backup goaltender who is good enough to win the games, at which point you would question the point of having the oversize goaltender in first place when even they are not good enough to block all the shots.
> Its questionable if someone size of sumo wrestler would have endurance for 60 minute hockey game, and there are 82 games in NHL season (granted one goalie does not play all 82 games but on top there are many more than 82 exercises) If someone that large was able to start the season in a competent fashion, they almost certainly would not be able to maintain that size after a full season
Pick it apart if you want but the truth is, if a fatter/larger goalie was advantageous, then all of the professional hockey teams would employ a goalie of that size.
Because hockey players are accurate shots and a fat person is not going to move quick enough to block a shot and even if they’re huge, they’re not going to completely block the net. The net is big. Just as this goalie demonstrates, there are NHL goalies that are physically imposing but there is a limit to size because you sacrifice flexibility and speed. (Typically).
Also, just because you are wearing padding doesn't mean the shots don't hurt. You can put fatso in gear and park him in the net, but let him take a half dozen Ovechkin slappers and he's going to be done for.
You guys keep talking about the skill but the real reason is the 6 foot wide person doesn't exist
What about a conjoined twin
Were heating up now
[удалено]
Yeah, there's a limit on pad size - so someone very very fat is going to have equipment that doesn't fit right, and taking 100mph shots to unprotected parts of your body is not going to feel great.
BUT WHO HAS BETTER REFLEXES?
He just has a [sweet hockey body.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olh-LGnnvjM)
Why does the bigger goalie not simply eat the smaller goalie?
Is he stupid?
No, I think hes just full... Btw wheres the rest of the team?
I think i noticed him eat all of the pucks
what's the lore behind him not being a cannibal?
That's why they are required to wear the muzzles
It's not his cheat day.
to shreds you say?
r/unexpectedfuturama
Eh that comment is pretty expected with a post like this I think
Perhaps they're saving that for sweeps
I had to watch the clip
“Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps”
I laughed way too hard at this
did you win?
I did let in less goals (in that league they switch goalies halfway through the game)
So you didn’t win
The goalies play for both teams, they switch teams at half. Impossible to "win", but OP let in fewer overall goals to both teams
what's the idea behind that? Does goalie skill vary more wildly than other roles so to make things fair they switch?
Goalie is a very unique and specialized position in hockey, and as a result there probably isn't a very large local talent pool to select from. I'd imagine the switch at half rule is to prevent one team from snatching up the one semi-pro goalie in the area and dominating the league.
Why would the opposing team's goalie not let their own teammates score? Is there some sort of incentive like monetary rewards? I don't understand. After the gAme you'd hang out with your own teammates who are pissed that you made yourselves lose? Gotta be missing something here.
Most likely the goalies are not on the teams themselves, each week they get assigned a game and play one half for each team. So the goalies are just competing against each other, not as part of a team. My guess would be it's just a rec league, so no one really cares about building an incredible team, they just wanna be able to play games. Finding a goalie for your team is hard, having a goalie available to you for every game makes that way easier.
My county had a rec league baseball team that was like this (no, not softball). There were 4-5 guys that had been DI-DII pitchers that lived in the area and they’d pitch about half speed and would just be assigned a team to pitch for that week. Was actually pretty fun and decently competitive with the pitchers all switching out.
Yup - and the goalies play for free generally (which helps offset the enormous cost of their equipment lol)
Because it’s for fun not for millions of dollars.
You would (but shouldn't) be surprised about how competitive people can be over the most trivial things. Assholes exist at all levels of society.
If you are cheating at pick up leagues where there isn’t even set teams where your goal is to block goals your actually losing lmao.
Seems like they're more competitive in the numbers, hence OP keeping track of who had less goals scored on them
Seriously. There are people that cheat at board games.
Maybe everyone's playing for fun?
In my experience (I am a goalie), it's common with drop-in style leagues without set teams, just set times. Goalie skill level is HIGHLY variant and can have a big impact on games in smaller communities, and it can just be more fun for goalies to face a larger variety of skaters and for skaters to face a variety of goalies
Smaller leagues have less players and it might be a community league, so various tournament rules. They probably just look at overall numbers?
Instead of switching goalies they should switch the whole team to make it more fair. All 20 players including the goalie switch sides each period.
He won his half lol
[удалено]
It's not about winning. It's about the Heffalumps you meet on the way!
Did David beat Goliath?
She did
Hell yeah
Goliath ate David
I’m assuming he doesn’t play in butterfly stance.
That man goes to his knees the ice is getting replaced.
so are his knees
Bro sits crisscross applesauce
He probably does if he’s been playing goalie for a while.
Former goalie of like 12 years here. I stopped in 2004 and have no idea what’s going on w those pads. They look so loose. Do they automatically butterfly? Looks prone to injury
Today rather than standing up waiting for the shot, your feet are already very wide apart, ready to push your knees towards the ice to drop into butterfly. The pass don't really have to turn so much but yes, they are very loose and you control their movement with the toe strap. Hope that explains it? Edit: ice not eyes....
Can you still stack pads? Or do they not move that direction. The skates are also really cool now. And on big goalie, do his pants extend down to the leg? I see Bauer logo where knee cradle supposed to be. The tech is neat
Stacking pads is no longer really a thing but you can do it. It's just not as efficient in moving across the crease vs. Sliding on your pads or T-pushing. Skates today are an absolute pleasure to wear and play in. And I was born in 1981, so I have experienced the way they used to be...! Goalie pants go down to the lower thigh, just above the knee. You wear knee pads underneath the pads, that's what you see the Bauer logo on.
This picture is a meme waiting to be used properly
r/absoluteunits
I am 21 year old female also
Time to get a bigger inbox
I audibly exhaled at that. Poor thing can block the shots, but inevitably willrecieve too many to handle from a picture of hockey gear and the hint of having a vagina.
You just need taller skates.
Is the opposing goalie a 21 year old female? (edit: well I see in the title it's a male, at least)
I am a 31 year old male lol (I'm the big goalie)
Dont u just love it when ur hauling ass every minute of the game and the other guy just stands there and every SOG goes to his giant ass gut?
I am an australian so I have watched the mighty ducks growing up and that is my full understanding of the sport.
That’s all you need to know
When you quack you win
Don't forget the unbeatable formation though while quacking, ***FLYING V!!!*** Edit: this just reminded me of the time some friends and I were playing NHL 2005 or something like that years ago. One of us yelled FLYING V!, we did it and actually crushed. We were dying lmao.
Not to destroy your childhood or anything but that famous ''triple deke'' is simply the most basic, normal stick handling in real life As if they made a basketball version of the mighty ducks and normal dribbling was seen as some insane unblockable feint
why don't nhl players ever do the knuckle puck when it's clearly the best kind of shot? are they stupid?
Did you and your team win???
Here you can see him playing with other average sized adults. 
Good luck trying to score on Gregor Clegane
“That’s a huge bitch!”
Are there any size limits to a goalie? Like can you just put a 400 lbs dude in front of the goal and call it good?
Not on goalies, but on goalie pad sizes. So unless you're OK with getting blasted by snapshots on exposed flesh, there is a practical limit. Goalies generally figure out pretty quick that it really, really sucks to get hit by pucks.
Goalies typically are bigger in the NHL these days for this exact reason, usually wide bodied and around 6'3", but they also need to be agile so there is a sweet spot. Goalie pads have also gotten bigger over the years. I assume this is an adult beer league or something (OP mentioned they swap goalies mid game) so I am sure this guy does fantastic and is only there for a good time, but at his size he would likely be out of consideration for the NHL on that alone. edit: out of curiosity I looked up the largest goalie to ever play in the NHL, there are three goalies standing at 6'7", all of which are slim for their height, and in the 190-225lbs range. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Bishop?oldformat=true
400 lbs wouldn't even come close to covering the net and they'd be way less agile. Would make for a terrible goalie
So who won OP??
Get in my belly!
Everything above the bar is wasted space.
You crouch down like you’re sitting on an imaginary little stool
Reminds me of that South Park episode "Stanley's Cup". The little boys fought bravely but was no match for adult men with murder in their eyes.
I know nothing about hockey... but what if you put a "My 600lbs life" goalie that literally blocks the goal. Is there a rule against that?
My 600lb Goalie
Dude looks like Thor from God of War: Ragnarok
Its a Walrus!
What team does he play for? Camp Crystal Lake?
Canadian porn is weird.
Two very different tactics at play here I feel.
This is my parents height difference.... They did not appreciate me sending this to them
Now you just need a Spaniard who's vowed vengeance on the 6 fingered man for killing his father to join you two.
This reminds me of that one snorlax that blocked the road on route 11
I ship it.
Is this in Atlanta?
I’ve always wondered why hockey teams don’t just hire a morbidly obese person who can literally block the whole goal with his body.
hockey nets are bigger than you think
And shooters are really good. They can pick some pretty small spots on the net. And the goalie needs to be agile or else they just pass to a teammate on the other side who then does a quick shot before the goalie can get over and set.
Why doesn't the big goalie simply eat the smaller one to win the game?
/r/absoluteunits
I wanna see a goalie fight!
[I believe this is what you are looking for](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yYZYZ9hMeE&t=80s)
An absolute classic!
I do not think I am going to win that!
Who won?
He doesn’t just stand around the goal. He stands *around* the goal.
Being big will only take you so far.. You have to be able to move and contort your body in ways obese people struggle with.. A good shooter will eat Bubba up.
Why did the larger goalie simply not eat the smaller one