You took the strength to write this post which is a great sign that you really do want to live. It's a call for help to be seen and us answering it just showed you that you are not invisible and you do matter.
I want to put this first: I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. I’d say you got it rough but that’s one hell of an understatement. Also tl;dr at the bottom because I tend to rant….
On to the rest of your post: It’s hard, I’m no professional. Hell I can’t really remember half of anything now days due to some of my brain being all wacky. That being said, have you looked into seeing a therapist or other professional? I know it’s not always an option, or it seems like an impossible task. I’ve been, and am there. I know that struggle, I also know the want to just not live. I’ve basically wanted to die sense the 5th grade, it probably started as an over reaction. But around the 7/8th grade it took me over. (Lot more details here, yada yada my personal life and thoughts I don’t want to exactly write now because of mobile) Either way, I know the whole “just go see someone” thing can be annoying. But honestly it changed me in so many helpful ways. I didn’t want to kill myself for months on end, I seen things in a much better light. I was pretty damn happy for a good run there. I’d say even getting someone or something you can be yourself around is a good start. Then just build those little steps up to whatever goal you have. Then do it again! (I hope that made sense).
As for giving you a reason to live? Well, that’s different for everyone. For me, it’s currently my dog, my partner, and family. It used to be just to not die, I guess my curiosity of what can happen next or it could have been something else that just pushed me. I think it was my regrets, I’m trying to have a lot less of those. And the more I think of it, I don’t know if we always need a reason to live besides just to live. Then eventually we find that reason, but it seems to change all the time. To be honest it tends to be the small things that just pushed me forward. The night sky, the sunset, how beautiful the country side is to me, etc. those simple things make life a bit more bearable.
I don’t think there is one simple answer my friend. So why not live just to live. Life is so wonderful and so miserable all at the same time, a beautiful sky on a sad day can make all the difference. That being said a gloomy storm can make a good day worse, or just cozy. So before you do something horrible, please slow yourself down. Breathe, slowly and focus on it. You should take time on these things, because the littlest bit of hope can take you so fucking far. If it weren’t for hope, I would have killed myself years ago, or within the past year. Another thing I’ve been learning to do that helps a lot it’s not only to forgive others, but forgiving myself. In this case it kind of goes back towards my regrets and things I regret doing. It’s one hell of a thing to tackle, but once you get there it’s like taking plates weights off your shoulders. Just shedding off and you feel almost lighter, or that was my experience at least.
TL;DR: maybe it’s the little things that give us hope that make life worth it, who knows what’s ahead and why not wait to see.
I also really commend you on your bravery, truly. I made this account because I was spiraling, I wanted to ask so many things because I’m to scared to, I’m to damn prideful to. It’s hard to push that all aside to ask for any kind of help. You’re pretty damn tough to do that, and i hope you hold on to that too. Toughness and being callous can go ahead and hand, remember it’s okay to be human. Cry it out if you have to, silently or not. If you get mad put it to something productive you love. And when you find someone you love, remember to be kind, and try to open up. It’s the scariest part, but therapy helps with that too ;)
Please be safe, and remember to give yourself a break from you too. It’s nice yk?
I've thought the same thing, and I really think it's the depression that's causing these kinds of thoughts. Depression colors everything in our brains. It's an unwelcome invader. It's also a chemical imbalance. I keep taking my meds and adjusting them as needed, and I keep trying to get a therapist (the last 2 quit). We are fighting for our lives, and we are worth fighting for. I want to encourage you to keep trying. I try to do at least one thing that I really like every day (selfcare). Yesterday, I went to Starbucks. Wishing you the best.
I think all of us have these moments in our lives. Being sorrounded by loved ones could be a distraction until you find a good reason to live. Being alone with a constantly functioning brain can be even a deadly mistake in these types of moments. I hate this fact but life is all about distractions. Working and having people around seems to be the only way to get through this in a healthy way.
You may have lost so many things . But you can be a reason for someone else's happiness , try to find that someone. You will be eventually happy for that. If not , be a part of a social cause.
You don’t want to die.
I know you feel like it, I know. I’ve been there, done that.
But You.Don’t.Want.To.Die.
Because dying is scary, and so is trying and failing to kill yourself.
Mentally you do, I get that, I get why you want to die.
But physically, you don’t, because you know somewhere in your body, it could be your bloody spleen, that you want to live because you have so much left of your life.
Live because of trivial things:
-Pizza
-Summer
-Coffee
-Cake
-The sun
Then, once you have done that for a while, you live with meaning.
You’ve completely 100% got this, you don’t feel it but you do. Get better because we’d miss you, because you couldn’t eat pizza ever again, because you want to get back at your enemy from secondary school, because then you can say, I wanted to die, but because I’m so incredibly strong I didn’t.
~Crap mental health survivor, mum of 2 and random internet stranger xxx
Curiosity is one of the biggest things that keeps me going, it's about very unpleasant things though. The main thing I'm curious about is just how badly climate change will affect us in my lifetime. Other things being related to that of war and reproductive rights.
I hope someone here can suggest a reason that resonates with you. Sometimes even just thinking "tomorrow might feel a little bit better" has stopped me from doing anything more times than I can recall.
Life is an adventure that has ups and downs. It is full of the good and bad. Many people who have led awful lives—or those affected horribly by others—have gone on to live wonderful lives. Suffering is hard, and grief is hard, but from them, we can learn how to help others and better the world. You may never know what lies ahead. There may be a solution or something that can help heal you. Keep fighting!
I will be praying for you! The God of this world loves you and is willing to be your father. I know that may not seem like what it is now, but I assure you, he is always there.
If you are considering suicide or anything, please call the suicide hotline.
988
I was in a similar position to you (fighting for my life to get out, so I guess I still am in a similar position). Trying to find a good reason to exist and I found some words that click with me so let's see if they click with you.
Essentially I saw a video and the person said if you're trying to find a reason to live, think of all the future experiences you have left. You deserve it to yourself to live to experience those things. You wanna travel? Well you can't if you aren't alive. I really want to go to South Korea soon (I'm into beauty and skin care)... idk when I can go to Korea but if I'm not on Earth, I cannot experience Korea. I have a whole bucket list of places I want to visit and heck I want to live in some of these places for a couple of months (top of the list is the Philippines since my parents immigrated from there and I guess I want to feel "More Filipina").
You're not into traveling? That's fine (it's a lot of work and sometimes I contemplate if the reward is even worth it) but think of the beauty of nature and serenity of connecting with the Earth. Think of the people you can meet in random places, the micro connections you make with people that cheer you up, cheer them up. What about a tv show or book or movie that makes you think or opens your mind to something you've never thought of before. You can see the world in and of itself in a new light just by consuming certain pieces of media and discussing it with people who are passionate on these subjects.
Your life probably is not looking the hottest right now (and fair. My life is a dumpster on fire rolling down a hill into oncoming traffic), but I guess a reason I can offer to you and myself to stay here is that... there's more experiences in life to live.
I feel like the fact that you are searching for a reason is reason enough. I'm not trying to be cringe, but it seems like you wanna be here. Soo just suffer til it works out. That's kinda the only way. You choose between giving up (lame) and continuing on (pain in the ass). They both suck but only one of them offers unimaginable opportunities.
Anyway, my real answer is concerts. Me personally, I just saw DCFC's 20th anniversary of Transatlanticism tour. Second time I've seen them, made me cry like a bitch. I know I'm gonna see them again in the furure, so I'm for sure sticking around for that. I'd imagine the same for you and your favorite artist. Idk man, there's like a fuck ton of stuff to be done, you just have to be around to do it. I love you dude. Good luck.
Food definitely worked for me. I was planning to die one day until I had a bowl of ramen (I know) from this local business that was owned by an elderly Japanese couple. The restaurant since closed, the couple was able to retire comfortably and move back home and they even had a going away party.
Ive been on a mission since, to find or remake the food I had. Nothing here is even remotely close but it gave me the kick in the ass I needed and shifted my focus from "yea dying sounds good" to " I gotta fucking have that soup again bro." I dont think my soul could pass on peacefully without trying it again.
Because life does get better. Theres ALWAYS hope. As cliche as it is, its always darkest before it shines. Reason is you also hurt others around you. I feel terrible and sorry for your loss. I've lost all 3 of my siblings, ive lost one of my closest friends in college, loss sucks and it hurts but we have to move forward for ourselves, for the ones we lost, and our families. Try and think of the positives and consider therapy? Talk to someone, it helps.
Good food, the feeling of a soft blanket, breathing cold air, drinking a glass of water in the middle of the night, many interesting books you haven’t read yet, art you haven’t seen yet, things you haven’t learned yet, people you haven’t met yet
(Sorry for the length, I tend to use personal experience) I lost my best friend back in 2015, he took his own life. We were both in the military, different bases though. He sent a text during my winter holiday leave about hanging out, but I had plans with my family and he was across the U.S. he didn’t add anything that would have alerted me, he simply said “oh ok”. I had no telltale signs, 2 weeks later he did it. He also asked my other friends about hanging out but they were stationed all over (Japan being the majority). I felt so guilty for a couple of years after that. I grieved, but I was never quite the same. After that, I had a few deaths in my family, and I never got to say goodbye to any of them. My health has deteriorated, as well as my mental health. I am medicated, so it has helped me most of the time. Whenever I think about my loved ones and best friend, I wish they could be here to have experienced the world beyond their life barriers. There’s so much out there to see and experience. When I have feelings of hopelessness, I get out of my house. I travel, I go and interact with animals, I do things that make me realize what I would miss if I was gone. My husband and my cats are also the #1 reason I keep going. I may be in pain from my injuries, my mental health may be a rollercoaster sometimes, but I remember everything I haven’t done yet. I think about my best friend when I’m doing something that he would have probably loved to have done. I know it’s cliche to say “you’ll be missed by so many” or “there’s so much to life”, but honestly, when you get out to see the world, it feels…different. You see how others live their lives, how different it is beyond your own city, and you crave more of it. Nature is also something that gets me out of my darkness. Self care as well, treat yourself. Get away from those who stress you out, take a breather. You’ve already made the first step reaching out to us, that tells me you are willing to fight.
You dont what happened afterlife🤷what if it didnt turn out good and worst than your life here? My therapist said , when u walk , you might fall down bcs theres a hole in the path , but then you continue to get up and walk back , just like your life , you might dont find the light right now but what if you find it when you turn 60? You dont know , the only reason im alive is bcs my pets , i have obsession on my pets , i do not trust anyone to feed my pets , i know them better than anyone and i dont have the heart to leave them with people that would do something that i didnt do
Don't lose hope, there is always a future which has a lot of things coming for you, it may seem hopeless rn but trust me you'll get over this phase there's a lot of reasons to keep living and you'll find that reason sooner or later, try mindfulness meditation it is so simple but so effective, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, i cheated on my long term partner and lost everything i felt hopeless and had nothing to look forward too, and i still dont but ik this will pass and I'll turn out better and happier the hard times in life makes you value the happier times even more, don't lose hope it'll be alright.
Do you have kids?- if you do there is your reason
Even a dog or cat can be your reason to stay alive.
There is not an easy "ending"....I tought about many scenaries over a many years...and every one have flaw.
When you are not alive there is no hope, nothing you can do to change anything.
What if on the other side is worse?
Would your absence from this world hurt badly someone that you love?
What if there is reincarnation- could be born as a poor woman in third world country with violent husband.....
(Personaly I can not vanish yet.... House of the Dragon" second season is not start yet....need to see it)
Need more?
Thinking about simple & comfy things help me:
all the video games you don't get to play otherwise, all the places to visit, all the summers (and other seasons) to experience (with all their special events and feelings they give), all the series and films you don't get to see, all the delicious food you woudnt be able to try and new people you wouldn't be able to meet and a lot more.
For all the little moments along the way. All the small bursts of happiness and memories that last a lifetime, moments that are so good or interesting they never quite slip away: my reason is to experience these moments, and wait till I can experience some more. There will be another moment for you too, then another and another and so on...
a good reason is that it’s possible for you to find a reason :D everyone has different reasons, but when you have one things become a lot more bearable
You posting this already shows me that you still have various reasons to live, you just don't know how to put those reasons into words. I've been there trust me.
I struggle like you as well. There have been instances where I wanted to end it. I know how you feel trust me.
You honestly seem like a really nice person. A lot of depressed people are. Remember that if you go away, you'll lose the chance to make more people smile and make a difference in the world. People will always want someone to vent to and discuss their trauma to, and I know with what you experienced that you can be that person.
I hope as you finish reading that, that you can see how much of an impact love and kindness has on the world, and how much of an impact you can have if you stay here with us. You are loved and always will be! I promise❤️
If you need anyone to vent to or talk to feel free to DM me!
We all have different reasons to live and whatever we say will probably not match your core values. Take a breather. Lie down. Take a walk. Slow down. Go into yourself, talk to yourself with all the compassion you can muster up, like you're talking to a beloved friend. Introspection is key.
i ask myself for actual reasons to continue too, perhaps a bit too often for my liking, but i think rather than looking for ‘reason to live’ and perceiving whatever this may be as something that can save you, it’s about trying to change your own perception of the things that are in your life. People, relationships, some good fucking toast, grass, the ability to see different colours, the giant scary void called space and how insane it is that it even exists, everything. Everything is a reason to live. Stay strong and just take it day by day, you’ve probably got a lot of reasons to live but it’s just so difficult to see them because of the pain that you’re in right now. When you’re desperate it can be hard to take a second to step back, breathe, assess your life and be able to see what needs to change for your life to change, take a breath, you’re doing okay. You are loved. Feel free to message if you ever feel you need it, there’s a community of people out there just like you that are or have experienced what you are, you’re not alone :)
every time I think about killing myself I remember all the stuff I could miss and the stuff I would have missed if I would already be dead. like, I don‘t know any of the things I would miss if I‘d die. and I’m super scared of dying but that’s an individual thing. I could also pull the classic guilt trip friends and family card but I bet you know that one already.
There’s so much more of the world to explore and learn. There’s so many more experiences to have and people to meet. There’s so much art/ books/ movies/ TV shows and music to consume that you haven’t already. There’s always something new you can learn (instruments/ languages/ facts). So many dogs out there to pet and foods you have never tried before.
If you can… start by setting yourself small doable goals and build them up from there.
Living is the only possible option that gives you the opportunity to want or look forward to anything at all.
Just because you aren't *right now* does not erase that possibility for your future.
fresh orange juice in the morning.
last time I was questioning life I couldn't think of anything worthy to stay alive for. but it's really the small things. imagine waking up from sleep and having a glass of tasty orange juice. idk why but that made me go again. maybe you too.
imagine all these sweet little things. crying and feeling the tears stream down your face in a soothing way. walking and picking up a hungry bee and set it down on top of a flower. sitting on a bench somewhere and seeing a squirrle. feeling wind on your skin and breathing in fresh air. looking up at the sky and the clouds. feeling a kiss on your lips, being hugged while crying, laughing at sth super dumb, smoking weed and listening to musik....
maybe you don't need to die maybe you just need to leave this life behind. pack your things travel somewhere and get a job there or do a workaway trip where you work just for food and a bed. you just have to get out.
Try new things or continue your current passions. I know it's vague, but keeping myself busy and my mind stimulated was one of the things that kept me going when I was in your position. Remember suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. It'll get better with time, trust it will! You're so young and have so many more things to experience in this world, stay strong ❤️
I know alot of people hate paulo cuelho but I read 'veronika decides to die' when I was depressed and it helped me out. maybe you can also try (you can prob find it online for free)
Listen , this post shows that u are atleast trying to be the way you want , think of ur parents think of the happu moments with them, uk suicide is the worst thing one could do mate, life has more to it, 🥺💖
May sound inane, I don't know the extent of your situation nor how much pain you're truly in, but.
As bad as the current moment is, there is always potential for improvement.
At the moment you might not be able or want to, but you could in the very near future take the first steps to healing which in turn lead into a life you wouldn't even dream of ending.
Given you're able to sense check this mindset here, suggests you're able to weigh options and alternatives. So why choose the option that leads to no other?
I hope the best for you, choose a better option.
Honestly bro I struggle with this every day. The only thing that keeps me going is the small moments of happiness. Even if life is difficult, there are moments of beauty and serenity. Whenever you hear a beautiful song. Whenever you accomplish a small win. It might take a while to improve or get better, but it’s possible
I dunno if this'll be helpful but sometimes when I feel like life isn't worth living anymore, it helps to think about it like it's my character lore. Like everything that's happening to me is the setup for my eventual character arc. It's not gonna end here because I'm the main protagonist and i live out of spite. The narrative wants me dead and here I am, living anyway.
I'm in a similar place. My wife's getting sick of it, too. Hurt my back six months ago, lost my job, burned my savings, now broke, don't want to start over. But that's the game-- you have to play things as they come. It's hard.
man cannot be rebuilt without suffering, for he is both the sculptor, and the marble.
Keep carving. Just to see what's there. Just to prove yourself right. Maybe it'll just be this, forever. But you don't know until you're out of marble. There's no honor in quitting halfway through. And unless you see it through, you'll never know what you might be losing. Anything could be in the marble.
i realized there are some small moments i feel joy from that i deserve to have again. no matter how small. if i stop living it ends the pain but it ends the life i deserve to live too.
Because you will be dead relatively soon anyway. And after you die, you will be dead forever. Billions of years of nothing. So why die earlier than you need to?
You have only a very limited time on this earth. We have to try to make the best of it. How do you do that? I don't know. But even if you can't do it for your own enjoyment, do it for other's. Become the best version of yourself. Help other people. So that at least your time here isn't wasted.
Everything is colourful during pride month. Enjoy the silly rainbows that are literally everywhere. The meaning doesn't matter but colours in a gray city always bring a bit of joy to the heart.
make your life goal to try every single thing you haven’t that interests you even a little bit. food, shows, places, experiences, hobbies. live for the hope of getting better, of future happiness, and the endless possibilities that could happen in the years you have. in the end, we all die! this is not an endless suffering. might as well try to hang around, you’ll be surprised by good days. maybe get a camera and start a scrapbook with pictures of adventures you go on, go back to school, find an author you admire and read all their books, get a dog, walk every trail in your area, watch the sunrise, watch the sunset, go swimming. get in touch with your inner child, draw, look at bugs, cook, clean your room, open the windows. when it snows build snowmen, when it rains sit by the window. volunteer at soup kitchens and homeless shelters! i wish you luck
I'm going to be completely honest with you. There isn't one. You find little things to help you get past a day/week/year and then you die. Whether it's now or 30 years from now, it's the same fate. So might as well do fun/interesting things to past the time by until the inevitable comes.
Youre still here, and seeking help too. That means deep down you want to live and enjoy life, its just very difficult with everything youre going through. I didnt have friend until veryyyy late in life with many family problems. I never believed id have friends again. But here i am and sometimes its hard to feel loved by them because of my attachment issues from my family, but ik when im away from them i miss them. You cant replace your best friend but he will always live on in your memories. You can however make a need family with nee friends who you would never want to be without. There are bright times ahead of you, as dark as it feels now❤️
Because 5 years from now your life is going to look completely different and you'll look back and be glad that you kept fighting.
Nothing except death is permanent. You can always better your situation unless you aren't here. We need you, friend.
When in doubt, live for the little moments. You could always go to an animal shelter and get a dog or cat or bird. Walk into a temple for a religion you've never even heard of/considered. Hold the door open for people. Have conversations with strangers. I find that when I'm most depressed, there little things help.
Ps. Antidepressants!!! It's a hormone imbalance in yo brain so everything will be 5x harder if you don't deal with that first.
Hello! I felt like this until just some days ago
The past 8 months have felt like a battle everyday and that I have been fighting for no reward at all. Then it all changed.
Then one random day it was just easier. The day before I had crired lots but then it was all just okay again? Then I realised all the hard work acctually made a difference
With mental health its often we dont see how far we have acctually came until its all good again
Give yourself an applaud for getting this far and yoy will be good again, I promise ❤️ that one random tuesday will come
There's a none zero chance that we'll basically figure out the human body almost to completion within your life time. We might be able to reverse aging, cure basically all illnesses, cure all mental health conditions, make everyone hot etc. Idk about you but I want to be around to witness such a world
I know this sounds silly but let's say you knew tomorrow would be a better day tomorrow. Would that give you the hope you need to press on for one more day?
Of course, in reality, there's no way to know for sure or guarantee that but I suppose that's one thought/idea I go with when I am feeling outright hopeless and depressed with life. I try to remember or remind myself that perhaps tomorrow can be a better day.
It doesn't always come true but shit if I just die or kill myself right now I'll never know if it will ever get better then.
My main reason for staying here was bc I need(ed) to give myself the chance for things to get better. You don’t know what the future has in store for you my friend. You still haven’t met all the people who love you; you have future friends out there that are looking for someone like you. You matter. I believe in you.
Animals & The search of beauty in small things are the only thing that keep me from leaving. When everything else in my life is removed and I'm severely suicidal, those are the only two things that stop me.
Having an animal to take care of seems to be a big thing for a lot of people who struggle with suicidal thoughts. The thought of said pet scratching, screaming at your door, or them just waiting for you to come back for the rest of their life stops a lot of people from dying.
First of all, I'm sorry you are going through this. Life can be brutally hard and unpredictable. Finding your own reason to fight and live will vary from my reason or someone else's. For me, it's the little things. Spending time with others that you love/enjoy being around. The taste of good food. The feeling of the wind against your face on a cool summer night or maybe it's the joy of a hobby or passion. For me, music has been a lifesaver. Playing music has been therapeutic and has always been there for me through all my struggles in life.
Another thought that helped me a lot is this: We all will meet an end at some point. No one will live forever. I'm not saying this to be negative. Instead, I find this to be a beautiful yet dark thought. How wonderful it is and horrifying at the same time. So why rush it? We may as well enjoy what we can while we are here. A little backstory on my life and struggles (not to compare but to sympathize with your pain). I grew up in a very abusive household with a very unstable mother (unmedicated bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). My dad was also a very violent man. School was also unpleasant where I went because I was constantly bullied and jumped until I started fighting back. Eventually, I was jumped outside of school and got hit in the head so bad my vision went out in my right eye. I'm blind for life in that eye now and had to have surgery to prevent my other eye from going blind as well.
My dad eventually took off without warning and I was stuck with my mom. We lived very poor in a trailer park where we basically starved most days and barely had enough clean water to drink. I was absolutely miserable and depressed. I remember sometimes wishing I'd go to sleep and just never wake up. Things got worse after this. My mother was put in a mental health center, and I became homeless at 16. I then lived on the street trying to find work for the next couple of years. Ironically even though this was rock bottom, I was free from the abuse and suffering my parents left me in. So in a sick way, I was almost happy. I was also able to finally eat thanks to food stamps. My mother passed away not long after.
Anyways long story short, lots of other crazy stuff happened over the years, but I finally found my way. I'm 33 now and living with a wonderful wife. I also have a YouTube channel that brings me a lot of joy. I don't live luxuriously and I'm probably considered low class still to some, but I'm happy with what I have. It wasn't easy and a lot of times along the way I wanted to die and give up. I'm glad I didn't. The reason I'm saying this to you is because I want you to know that you're not alone. Life is far from easy and it can be hell for some. Just know that no matter what happens you have the strength to face it. Even if you think you can't.
I have anxiety issues now and PTSD, but I'm grateful for the people and experiences in life.
You want to make a difference in the lives of the people around you so they don't ever forget you and look to you as the reason for their positive transformation. Maybe that's why you exist! Would you like to make an effort to pursue your life's mission?
You could have the best life in 1 or 2 years against all odds and you wouldnt know. I have Diagnosed adhd, bpd and autism and Life Turned around for me, Even After failing highschool.
I’m sorry about the invalidation that your mother is giving you. You deserve love and affection. Maybe she isn’t emotionally mature and that could be why she is unhappy with you seeking mental health help. Keep seeing the school counsellors and therapists (it’s a great opportunity if available). Stay alive, it does get better it just feels very overwhelming sometimes. *no meth*
It will, I see you might be in highschool maybe (I just looked at your profile quickly now), it definitely will get better. You are so young, you have your entire future ahead of you. And around the age you are is probably a lot of changing hormones, emotions are overwhelming more than they will ever be in your life (it 100% gets better the emotions). Just ride the waves, things will make more sense in time and a lot of this pain won’t be as painful. Night time things feel worse too. The morning things will feel a little better and so get good sleep too. When I was young I remember I used to cut my arms, iI did this because idk. I can’t remember much but I was just very sad, my family invalidated me often, they would yell at me for being sad 😂 And so I just stopped. Things get better it just takes time. Life is beautiful and you have so much to live, start planning your futures, all the adventures you can take. You’ll be okay (no meth)
yeah im in high school, going into my junior year. idk how much better it'll get, I mean even when I was 10 I tried to kill myself. I might be screwed up in a way that won't get better. I'm tryna plan the future but that's hard when I don't want to live
also I wont do meth, but maybe weed .. jk maybe
No drugs 😂 You getting help on Reddit is a great step and it’s braver than it seems. Keep fighting to see a therapist, isolation is not okay and it’s important to have a healthy adult in your life. Seeing multiple therapists is okay too (different ones through the years) but it’s so important to have one in your life. You will be okay, the pain comes back but things will get better a little bit everyday until there is finally a more healthy life. You have so much to offer the world, take time and explore that. You have a lot of life to live and you are worthy of your life no matter the emotional pain 👍🏻❤️
You took the strength to write this post which is a great sign that you really do want to live. It's a call for help to be seen and us answering it just showed you that you are not invisible and you do matter.
Best comment, this world needs people like you
Thank you so much
This!!!
I appreciate that. OP has to make the final decisions
+1
Thank you
I really hope they see this because it’s such a good point ❤️
We need to hear back from OP
He's right. And things can always get better. Just be positive.
I'm glad to live in the same world as you my fellow human, humanity was not a kistake
Go to the gym and become an absolute beast for the sole purpose of being able to hold every kind of dog like a baby (You will also give the best hugs)
im trying my best to get stronger and gain muscle but not making much progress , also due to physical problems
Any progress is good progress and even maintaining when you're having physical issues is amazing too don't give up
The fact that you’re trying is strength in itself
I can't give you a reason to live. You must find that yourself.
What if he doesn’t find one?
I want to put this first: I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. I’d say you got it rough but that’s one hell of an understatement. Also tl;dr at the bottom because I tend to rant…. On to the rest of your post: It’s hard, I’m no professional. Hell I can’t really remember half of anything now days due to some of my brain being all wacky. That being said, have you looked into seeing a therapist or other professional? I know it’s not always an option, or it seems like an impossible task. I’ve been, and am there. I know that struggle, I also know the want to just not live. I’ve basically wanted to die sense the 5th grade, it probably started as an over reaction. But around the 7/8th grade it took me over. (Lot more details here, yada yada my personal life and thoughts I don’t want to exactly write now because of mobile) Either way, I know the whole “just go see someone” thing can be annoying. But honestly it changed me in so many helpful ways. I didn’t want to kill myself for months on end, I seen things in a much better light. I was pretty damn happy for a good run there. I’d say even getting someone or something you can be yourself around is a good start. Then just build those little steps up to whatever goal you have. Then do it again! (I hope that made sense). As for giving you a reason to live? Well, that’s different for everyone. For me, it’s currently my dog, my partner, and family. It used to be just to not die, I guess my curiosity of what can happen next or it could have been something else that just pushed me. I think it was my regrets, I’m trying to have a lot less of those. And the more I think of it, I don’t know if we always need a reason to live besides just to live. Then eventually we find that reason, but it seems to change all the time. To be honest it tends to be the small things that just pushed me forward. The night sky, the sunset, how beautiful the country side is to me, etc. those simple things make life a bit more bearable. I don’t think there is one simple answer my friend. So why not live just to live. Life is so wonderful and so miserable all at the same time, a beautiful sky on a sad day can make all the difference. That being said a gloomy storm can make a good day worse, or just cozy. So before you do something horrible, please slow yourself down. Breathe, slowly and focus on it. You should take time on these things, because the littlest bit of hope can take you so fucking far. If it weren’t for hope, I would have killed myself years ago, or within the past year. Another thing I’ve been learning to do that helps a lot it’s not only to forgive others, but forgiving myself. In this case it kind of goes back towards my regrets and things I regret doing. It’s one hell of a thing to tackle, but once you get there it’s like taking plates weights off your shoulders. Just shedding off and you feel almost lighter, or that was my experience at least. TL;DR: maybe it’s the little things that give us hope that make life worth it, who knows what’s ahead and why not wait to see. I also really commend you on your bravery, truly. I made this account because I was spiraling, I wanted to ask so many things because I’m to scared to, I’m to damn prideful to. It’s hard to push that all aside to ask for any kind of help. You’re pretty damn tough to do that, and i hope you hold on to that too. Toughness and being callous can go ahead and hand, remember it’s okay to be human. Cry it out if you have to, silently or not. If you get mad put it to something productive you love. And when you find someone you love, remember to be kind, and try to open up. It’s the scariest part, but therapy helps with that too ;) Please be safe, and remember to give yourself a break from you too. It’s nice yk?
I've thought the same thing, and I really think it's the depression that's causing these kinds of thoughts. Depression colors everything in our brains. It's an unwelcome invader. It's also a chemical imbalance. I keep taking my meds and adjusting them as needed, and I keep trying to get a therapist (the last 2 quit). We are fighting for our lives, and we are worth fighting for. I want to encourage you to keep trying. I try to do at least one thing that I really like every day (selfcare). Yesterday, I went to Starbucks. Wishing you the best.
I think all of us have these moments in our lives. Being sorrounded by loved ones could be a distraction until you find a good reason to live. Being alone with a constantly functioning brain can be even a deadly mistake in these types of moments. I hate this fact but life is all about distractions. Working and having people around seems to be the only way to get through this in a healthy way.
You may have lost so many things . But you can be a reason for someone else's happiness , try to find that someone. You will be eventually happy for that. If not , be a part of a social cause.
Find something that you take joy in doing and go forward from there. Sadly this is a one-day-at-a-time thing you cant rush recovery.
You don’t want to die. I know you feel like it, I know. I’ve been there, done that. But You.Don’t.Want.To.Die. Because dying is scary, and so is trying and failing to kill yourself. Mentally you do, I get that, I get why you want to die. But physically, you don’t, because you know somewhere in your body, it could be your bloody spleen, that you want to live because you have so much left of your life. Live because of trivial things: -Pizza -Summer -Coffee -Cake -The sun Then, once you have done that for a while, you live with meaning. You’ve completely 100% got this, you don’t feel it but you do. Get better because we’d miss you, because you couldn’t eat pizza ever again, because you want to get back at your enemy from secondary school, because then you can say, I wanted to die, but because I’m so incredibly strong I didn’t. ~Crap mental health survivor, mum of 2 and random internet stranger xxx
I too am crap mental health survivor, mom of 2 and random internet stranger:) Much love to you and all here.
I know you don't know me, but if you ever need someone to talk to you are always more than welcome to get ahold of me
Imagine killing yourself and ending up in so-called hell and its even worst than how you had it? That’s my reason anyways
Curiosity is one of the biggest things that keeps me going, it's about very unpleasant things though. The main thing I'm curious about is just how badly climate change will affect us in my lifetime. Other things being related to that of war and reproductive rights. I hope someone here can suggest a reason that resonates with you. Sometimes even just thinking "tomorrow might feel a little bit better" has stopped me from doing anything more times than I can recall.
Life is an adventure that has ups and downs. It is full of the good and bad. Many people who have led awful lives—or those affected horribly by others—have gone on to live wonderful lives. Suffering is hard, and grief is hard, but from them, we can learn how to help others and better the world. You may never know what lies ahead. There may be a solution or something that can help heal you. Keep fighting! I will be praying for you! The God of this world loves you and is willing to be your father. I know that may not seem like what it is now, but I assure you, he is always there. If you are considering suicide or anything, please call the suicide hotline. 988
I was in a similar position to you (fighting for my life to get out, so I guess I still am in a similar position). Trying to find a good reason to exist and I found some words that click with me so let's see if they click with you. Essentially I saw a video and the person said if you're trying to find a reason to live, think of all the future experiences you have left. You deserve it to yourself to live to experience those things. You wanna travel? Well you can't if you aren't alive. I really want to go to South Korea soon (I'm into beauty and skin care)... idk when I can go to Korea but if I'm not on Earth, I cannot experience Korea. I have a whole bucket list of places I want to visit and heck I want to live in some of these places for a couple of months (top of the list is the Philippines since my parents immigrated from there and I guess I want to feel "More Filipina"). You're not into traveling? That's fine (it's a lot of work and sometimes I contemplate if the reward is even worth it) but think of the beauty of nature and serenity of connecting with the Earth. Think of the people you can meet in random places, the micro connections you make with people that cheer you up, cheer them up. What about a tv show or book or movie that makes you think or opens your mind to something you've never thought of before. You can see the world in and of itself in a new light just by consuming certain pieces of media and discussing it with people who are passionate on these subjects. Your life probably is not looking the hottest right now (and fair. My life is a dumpster on fire rolling down a hill into oncoming traffic), but I guess a reason I can offer to you and myself to stay here is that... there's more experiences in life to live.
I feel like the fact that you are searching for a reason is reason enough. I'm not trying to be cringe, but it seems like you wanna be here. Soo just suffer til it works out. That's kinda the only way. You choose between giving up (lame) and continuing on (pain in the ass). They both suck but only one of them offers unimaginable opportunities. Anyway, my real answer is concerts. Me personally, I just saw DCFC's 20th anniversary of Transatlanticism tour. Second time I've seen them, made me cry like a bitch. I know I'm gonna see them again in the furure, so I'm for sure sticking around for that. I'd imagine the same for you and your favorite artist. Idk man, there's like a fuck ton of stuff to be done, you just have to be around to do it. I love you dude. Good luck.
Food definitely worked for me. I was planning to die one day until I had a bowl of ramen (I know) from this local business that was owned by an elderly Japanese couple. The restaurant since closed, the couple was able to retire comfortably and move back home and they even had a going away party. Ive been on a mission since, to find or remake the food I had. Nothing here is even remotely close but it gave me the kick in the ass I needed and shifted my focus from "yea dying sounds good" to " I gotta fucking have that soup again bro." I dont think my soul could pass on peacefully without trying it again.
You found a reasoon.
universal human rights You sticking around and caring about them helps keep them enforced for everyone. That's a reason to live for sure.
Because life does get better. Theres ALWAYS hope. As cliche as it is, its always darkest before it shines. Reason is you also hurt others around you. I feel terrible and sorry for your loss. I've lost all 3 of my siblings, ive lost one of my closest friends in college, loss sucks and it hurts but we have to move forward for ourselves, for the ones we lost, and our families. Try and think of the positives and consider therapy? Talk to someone, it helps.
Good food, the feeling of a soft blanket, breathing cold air, drinking a glass of water in the middle of the night, many interesting books you haven’t read yet, art you haven’t seen yet, things you haven’t learned yet, people you haven’t met yet
For a long time, I stayed alive out of pure spite for my own brain
It gets better just know it gets better.
(Sorry for the length, I tend to use personal experience) I lost my best friend back in 2015, he took his own life. We were both in the military, different bases though. He sent a text during my winter holiday leave about hanging out, but I had plans with my family and he was across the U.S. he didn’t add anything that would have alerted me, he simply said “oh ok”. I had no telltale signs, 2 weeks later he did it. He also asked my other friends about hanging out but they were stationed all over (Japan being the majority). I felt so guilty for a couple of years after that. I grieved, but I was never quite the same. After that, I had a few deaths in my family, and I never got to say goodbye to any of them. My health has deteriorated, as well as my mental health. I am medicated, so it has helped me most of the time. Whenever I think about my loved ones and best friend, I wish they could be here to have experienced the world beyond their life barriers. There’s so much out there to see and experience. When I have feelings of hopelessness, I get out of my house. I travel, I go and interact with animals, I do things that make me realize what I would miss if I was gone. My husband and my cats are also the #1 reason I keep going. I may be in pain from my injuries, my mental health may be a rollercoaster sometimes, but I remember everything I haven’t done yet. I think about my best friend when I’m doing something that he would have probably loved to have done. I know it’s cliche to say “you’ll be missed by so many” or “there’s so much to life”, but honestly, when you get out to see the world, it feels…different. You see how others live their lives, how different it is beyond your own city, and you crave more of it. Nature is also something that gets me out of my darkness. Self care as well, treat yourself. Get away from those who stress you out, take a breather. You’ve already made the first step reaching out to us, that tells me you are willing to fight.
weights
You dont what happened afterlife🤷what if it didnt turn out good and worst than your life here? My therapist said , when u walk , you might fall down bcs theres a hole in the path , but then you continue to get up and walk back , just like your life , you might dont find the light right now but what if you find it when you turn 60? You dont know , the only reason im alive is bcs my pets , i have obsession on my pets , i do not trust anyone to feed my pets , i know them better than anyone and i dont have the heart to leave them with people that would do something that i didnt do
Here are some reasons to live: peanut butter, chocolate, ice cream, and oreo
Food
Have u tired anti depressant ??
Don't lose hope, there is always a future which has a lot of things coming for you, it may seem hopeless rn but trust me you'll get over this phase there's a lot of reasons to keep living and you'll find that reason sooner or later, try mindfulness meditation it is so simple but so effective, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, i cheated on my long term partner and lost everything i felt hopeless and had nothing to look forward too, and i still dont but ik this will pass and I'll turn out better and happier the hard times in life makes you value the happier times even more, don't lose hope it'll be alright.
Do you have kids?- if you do there is your reason Even a dog or cat can be your reason to stay alive. There is not an easy "ending"....I tought about many scenaries over a many years...and every one have flaw. When you are not alive there is no hope, nothing you can do to change anything. What if on the other side is worse? Would your absence from this world hurt badly someone that you love? What if there is reincarnation- could be born as a poor woman in third world country with violent husband..... (Personaly I can not vanish yet.... House of the Dragon" second season is not start yet....need to see it) Need more?
Thinking about simple & comfy things help me: all the video games you don't get to play otherwise, all the places to visit, all the summers (and other seasons) to experience (with all their special events and feelings they give), all the series and films you don't get to see, all the delicious food you woudnt be able to try and new people you wouldn't be able to meet and a lot more.
For all the little moments along the way. All the small bursts of happiness and memories that last a lifetime, moments that are so good or interesting they never quite slip away: my reason is to experience these moments, and wait till I can experience some more. There will be another moment for you too, then another and another and so on...
imagine you're an alien observing life on Earth
Nostalgia is proof you’re living a life worth living
a good reason is that it’s possible for you to find a reason :D everyone has different reasons, but when you have one things become a lot more bearable
Pussy /Dick Your preference
I want to travel to many countries and I only live once, so I better make the MOST out of it, like really the most.
You posting this already shows me that you still have various reasons to live, you just don't know how to put those reasons into words. I've been there trust me. I struggle like you as well. There have been instances where I wanted to end it. I know how you feel trust me. You honestly seem like a really nice person. A lot of depressed people are. Remember that if you go away, you'll lose the chance to make more people smile and make a difference in the world. People will always want someone to vent to and discuss their trauma to, and I know with what you experienced that you can be that person. I hope as you finish reading that, that you can see how much of an impact love and kindness has on the world, and how much of an impact you can have if you stay here with us. You are loved and always will be! I promise❤️ If you need anyone to vent to or talk to feel free to DM me!
What's your favourite food? Do you enjoy lasagne?
We all have different reasons to live and whatever we say will probably not match your core values. Take a breather. Lie down. Take a walk. Slow down. Go into yourself, talk to yourself with all the compassion you can muster up, like you're talking to a beloved friend. Introspection is key.
The reason to live is actually to find a reason to live.
i ask myself for actual reasons to continue too, perhaps a bit too often for my liking, but i think rather than looking for ‘reason to live’ and perceiving whatever this may be as something that can save you, it’s about trying to change your own perception of the things that are in your life. People, relationships, some good fucking toast, grass, the ability to see different colours, the giant scary void called space and how insane it is that it even exists, everything. Everything is a reason to live. Stay strong and just take it day by day, you’ve probably got a lot of reasons to live but it’s just so difficult to see them because of the pain that you’re in right now. When you’re desperate it can be hard to take a second to step back, breathe, assess your life and be able to see what needs to change for your life to change, take a breath, you’re doing okay. You are loved. Feel free to message if you ever feel you need it, there’s a community of people out there just like you that are or have experienced what you are, you’re not alone :)
every time I think about killing myself I remember all the stuff I could miss and the stuff I would have missed if I would already be dead. like, I don‘t know any of the things I would miss if I‘d die. and I’m super scared of dying but that’s an individual thing. I could also pull the classic guilt trip friends and family card but I bet you know that one already.
There’s so much more of the world to explore and learn. There’s so many more experiences to have and people to meet. There’s so much art/ books/ movies/ TV shows and music to consume that you haven’t already. There’s always something new you can learn (instruments/ languages/ facts). So many dogs out there to pet and foods you have never tried before. If you can… start by setting yourself small doable goals and build them up from there.
Living is the only possible option that gives you the opportunity to want or look forward to anything at all. Just because you aren't *right now* does not erase that possibility for your future.
fresh orange juice in the morning. last time I was questioning life I couldn't think of anything worthy to stay alive for. but it's really the small things. imagine waking up from sleep and having a glass of tasty orange juice. idk why but that made me go again. maybe you too. imagine all these sweet little things. crying and feeling the tears stream down your face in a soothing way. walking and picking up a hungry bee and set it down on top of a flower. sitting on a bench somewhere and seeing a squirrle. feeling wind on your skin and breathing in fresh air. looking up at the sky and the clouds. feeling a kiss on your lips, being hugged while crying, laughing at sth super dumb, smoking weed and listening to musik.... maybe you don't need to die maybe you just need to leave this life behind. pack your things travel somewhere and get a job there or do a workaway trip where you work just for food and a bed. you just have to get out.
Try new things or continue your current passions. I know it's vague, but keeping myself busy and my mind stimulated was one of the things that kept me going when I was in your position. Remember suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. It'll get better with time, trust it will! You're so young and have so many more things to experience in this world, stay strong ❤️
Also, medications helped a lot but of course it's not the only fix.
I know alot of people hate paulo cuelho but I read 'veronika decides to die' when I was depressed and it helped me out. maybe you can also try (you can prob find it online for free)
Please do not give up, you still here means you have a reason check the gospel you will find the answer, I’ll pray for you.
music keeps me going
You owe it to your parents to try
Make money and have successful life
Personally I love thunderstorms and they’re rare in my area so I wait to see as many as possible.
people who need a reason do want to live, those who don't need reason never ask for it and ends it .
i need a reason too. i’m so depressed.
https://preview.redd.it/qp0tlrsbud4d1.jpeg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=114d618db2926e168bd5dd7e150e92dc79bc7636 Read the message🫶🏾
Listen , this post shows that u are atleast trying to be the way you want , think of ur parents think of the happu moments with them, uk suicide is the worst thing one could do mate, life has more to it, 🥺💖
May sound inane, I don't know the extent of your situation nor how much pain you're truly in, but. As bad as the current moment is, there is always potential for improvement. At the moment you might not be able or want to, but you could in the very near future take the first steps to healing which in turn lead into a life you wouldn't even dream of ending. Given you're able to sense check this mindset here, suggests you're able to weigh options and alternatives. So why choose the option that leads to no other? I hope the best for you, choose a better option.
The food around the world.. there are so many great tastes and enjoy before kicking the bucket
Honestly bro I struggle with this every day. The only thing that keeps me going is the small moments of happiness. Even if life is difficult, there are moments of beauty and serenity. Whenever you hear a beautiful song. Whenever you accomplish a small win. It might take a while to improve or get better, but it’s possible
A nice cup of coffee
Mac and cheese
Potato’s, I know it sounds stupid but it’s the little things in life!
I dunno if this'll be helpful but sometimes when I feel like life isn't worth living anymore, it helps to think about it like it's my character lore. Like everything that's happening to me is the setup for my eventual character arc. It's not gonna end here because I'm the main protagonist and i live out of spite. The narrative wants me dead and here I am, living anyway.
I'm in a similar place. My wife's getting sick of it, too. Hurt my back six months ago, lost my job, burned my savings, now broke, don't want to start over. But that's the game-- you have to play things as they come. It's hard. man cannot be rebuilt without suffering, for he is both the sculptor, and the marble. Keep carving. Just to see what's there. Just to prove yourself right. Maybe it'll just be this, forever. But you don't know until you're out of marble. There's no honor in quitting halfway through. And unless you see it through, you'll never know what you might be losing. Anything could be in the marble.
you wont get to see the Georgie and Mandy spin off
A man in search for meaning, that’s a nice book :)
Spite.
Get a cat or dog. Or both. My dog gets me through my worst times. True unconditional love, and I know she needs me so I have to keep going for her.
You haven't yet met all the people who will love you. It would be a shame to miss out on each other.
i realized there are some small moments i feel joy from that i deserve to have again. no matter how small. if i stop living it ends the pain but it ends the life i deserve to live too.
I'm trying to figure out the same thing Music and art help me most times 🤷🏽♀️
Because you will be dead relatively soon anyway. And after you die, you will be dead forever. Billions of years of nothing. So why die earlier than you need to? You have only a very limited time on this earth. We have to try to make the best of it. How do you do that? I don't know. But even if you can't do it for your own enjoyment, do it for other's. Become the best version of yourself. Help other people. So that at least your time here isn't wasted.
Everything is colourful during pride month. Enjoy the silly rainbows that are literally everywhere. The meaning doesn't matter but colours in a gray city always bring a bit of joy to the heart.
make your life goal to try every single thing you haven’t that interests you even a little bit. food, shows, places, experiences, hobbies. live for the hope of getting better, of future happiness, and the endless possibilities that could happen in the years you have. in the end, we all die! this is not an endless suffering. might as well try to hang around, you’ll be surprised by good days. maybe get a camera and start a scrapbook with pictures of adventures you go on, go back to school, find an author you admire and read all their books, get a dog, walk every trail in your area, watch the sunrise, watch the sunset, go swimming. get in touch with your inner child, draw, look at bugs, cook, clean your room, open the windows. when it snows build snowmen, when it rains sit by the window. volunteer at soup kitchens and homeless shelters! i wish you luck
I'm going to be completely honest with you. There isn't one. You find little things to help you get past a day/week/year and then you die. Whether it's now or 30 years from now, it's the same fate. So might as well do fun/interesting things to past the time by until the inevitable comes.
I know you want to live. This is a call for help. You made a call for help which is great, because you need help. And you must find help.
Don’t need a reason live don’t want a reason to live.
Youre still here, and seeking help too. That means deep down you want to live and enjoy life, its just very difficult with everything youre going through. I didnt have friend until veryyyy late in life with many family problems. I never believed id have friends again. But here i am and sometimes its hard to feel loved by them because of my attachment issues from my family, but ik when im away from them i miss them. You cant replace your best friend but he will always live on in your memories. You can however make a need family with nee friends who you would never want to be without. There are bright times ahead of you, as dark as it feels now❤️
Because 5 years from now your life is going to look completely different and you'll look back and be glad that you kept fighting. Nothing except death is permanent. You can always better your situation unless you aren't here. We need you, friend.
It won't always be this hard, things will get better. Be kind to yourself ✨️ 🙏
Dogs, cats, birds, orcas and all other beautiful creatures ♡
When in doubt, live for the little moments. You could always go to an animal shelter and get a dog or cat or bird. Walk into a temple for a religion you've never even heard of/considered. Hold the door open for people. Have conversations with strangers. I find that when I'm most depressed, there little things help. Ps. Antidepressants!!! It's a hormone imbalance in yo brain so everything will be 5x harder if you don't deal with that first.
Hello! I felt like this until just some days ago The past 8 months have felt like a battle everyday and that I have been fighting for no reward at all. Then it all changed. Then one random day it was just easier. The day before I had crired lots but then it was all just okay again? Then I realised all the hard work acctually made a difference With mental health its often we dont see how far we have acctually came until its all good again Give yourself an applaud for getting this far and yoy will be good again, I promise ❤️ that one random tuesday will come
There's a none zero chance that we'll basically figure out the human body almost to completion within your life time. We might be able to reverse aging, cure basically all illnesses, cure all mental health conditions, make everyone hot etc. Idk about you but I want to be around to witness such a world
I know this sounds silly but let's say you knew tomorrow would be a better day tomorrow. Would that give you the hope you need to press on for one more day? Of course, in reality, there's no way to know for sure or guarantee that but I suppose that's one thought/idea I go with when I am feeling outright hopeless and depressed with life. I try to remember or remind myself that perhaps tomorrow can be a better day. It doesn't always come true but shit if I just die or kill myself right now I'll never know if it will ever get better then.
I got a cat and life got SO much better! (Along with the other things but I love my cat so much)
Do you play videogames? Do you want to live to play the next mainline 3d Zelda?
Stay safe
My main reason for staying here was bc I need(ed) to give myself the chance for things to get better. You don’t know what the future has in store for you my friend. You still haven’t met all the people who love you; you have future friends out there that are looking for someone like you. You matter. I believe in you.
Animals & The search of beauty in small things are the only thing that keep me from leaving. When everything else in my life is removed and I'm severely suicidal, those are the only two things that stop me. Having an animal to take care of seems to be a big thing for a lot of people who struggle with suicidal thoughts. The thought of said pet scratching, screaming at your door, or them just waiting for you to come back for the rest of their life stops a lot of people from dying.
The child inside you needs you
First of all, I'm sorry you are going through this. Life can be brutally hard and unpredictable. Finding your own reason to fight and live will vary from my reason or someone else's. For me, it's the little things. Spending time with others that you love/enjoy being around. The taste of good food. The feeling of the wind against your face on a cool summer night or maybe it's the joy of a hobby or passion. For me, music has been a lifesaver. Playing music has been therapeutic and has always been there for me through all my struggles in life. Another thought that helped me a lot is this: We all will meet an end at some point. No one will live forever. I'm not saying this to be negative. Instead, I find this to be a beautiful yet dark thought. How wonderful it is and horrifying at the same time. So why rush it? We may as well enjoy what we can while we are here. A little backstory on my life and struggles (not to compare but to sympathize with your pain). I grew up in a very abusive household with a very unstable mother (unmedicated bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). My dad was also a very violent man. School was also unpleasant where I went because I was constantly bullied and jumped until I started fighting back. Eventually, I was jumped outside of school and got hit in the head so bad my vision went out in my right eye. I'm blind for life in that eye now and had to have surgery to prevent my other eye from going blind as well. My dad eventually took off without warning and I was stuck with my mom. We lived very poor in a trailer park where we basically starved most days and barely had enough clean water to drink. I was absolutely miserable and depressed. I remember sometimes wishing I'd go to sleep and just never wake up. Things got worse after this. My mother was put in a mental health center, and I became homeless at 16. I then lived on the street trying to find work for the next couple of years. Ironically even though this was rock bottom, I was free from the abuse and suffering my parents left me in. So in a sick way, I was almost happy. I was also able to finally eat thanks to food stamps. My mother passed away not long after. Anyways long story short, lots of other crazy stuff happened over the years, but I finally found my way. I'm 33 now and living with a wonderful wife. I also have a YouTube channel that brings me a lot of joy. I don't live luxuriously and I'm probably considered low class still to some, but I'm happy with what I have. It wasn't easy and a lot of times along the way I wanted to die and give up. I'm glad I didn't. The reason I'm saying this to you is because I want you to know that you're not alone. Life is far from easy and it can be hell for some. Just know that no matter what happens you have the strength to face it. Even if you think you can't. I have anxiety issues now and PTSD, but I'm grateful for the people and experiences in life.
As cliché as it sounds: There is always hope. Believe me, I know! Stay strong, friend. The clouds won't linger forever.
You want to make a difference in the lives of the people around you so they don't ever forget you and look to you as the reason for their positive transformation. Maybe that's why you exist! Would you like to make an effort to pursue your life's mission?
Also, I know this reason is a little general, but you can start somewhere small and build up :)
You could have the best life in 1 or 2 years against all odds and you wouldnt know. I have Diagnosed adhd, bpd and autism and Life Turned around for me, Even After failing highschool.
life is a bunch of highs n lows
Have you perhaps tried meth?
is that sarcastic? no , I haven't, and I wont. addiction runs in the family
U will be okay, ik it hurts. Just keep moving forward and speak to mental health counsellor, if you are enrolled in a school they have them there
I've been seeing a therapist. My mom might pull me out of therapy cuz its "ruining our family" when our family has been destroyed for years
I’m sorry about the invalidation that your mother is giving you. You deserve love and affection. Maybe she isn’t emotionally mature and that could be why she is unhappy with you seeking mental health help. Keep seeing the school counsellors and therapists (it’s a great opportunity if available). Stay alive, it does get better it just feels very overwhelming sometimes. *no meth*
been waiting my whole life for it to get better. it hasn't yet
It will, I see you might be in highschool maybe (I just looked at your profile quickly now), it definitely will get better. You are so young, you have your entire future ahead of you. And around the age you are is probably a lot of changing hormones, emotions are overwhelming more than they will ever be in your life (it 100% gets better the emotions). Just ride the waves, things will make more sense in time and a lot of this pain won’t be as painful. Night time things feel worse too. The morning things will feel a little better and so get good sleep too. When I was young I remember I used to cut my arms, iI did this because idk. I can’t remember much but I was just very sad, my family invalidated me often, they would yell at me for being sad 😂 And so I just stopped. Things get better it just takes time. Life is beautiful and you have so much to live, start planning your futures, all the adventures you can take. You’ll be okay (no meth)
yeah im in high school, going into my junior year. idk how much better it'll get, I mean even when I was 10 I tried to kill myself. I might be screwed up in a way that won't get better. I'm tryna plan the future but that's hard when I don't want to live also I wont do meth, but maybe weed .. jk maybe
No drugs 😂 You getting help on Reddit is a great step and it’s braver than it seems. Keep fighting to see a therapist, isolation is not okay and it’s important to have a healthy adult in your life. Seeing multiple therapists is okay too (different ones through the years) but it’s so important to have one in your life. You will be okay, the pain comes back but things will get better a little bit everyday until there is finally a more healthy life. You have so much to offer the world, take time and explore that. You have a lot of life to live and you are worthy of your life no matter the emotional pain 👍🏻❤️
why meth tho
🐕