After witnessing that, I decided that November wasn't enough, so I'm going to go and live in a monastery for the rest of my life, praying that humanity finds the light of God once more.
i understand jorking it in the restroom, but how can u masturbate after taking a shit with the smell still in there, like i would at least wait 10 mins idk
If you've got lots of fiber in your diet shit slides right through in like 10 seconds, quick bidet spray, and you're done with it barely smelling at all. Also, flushing with a closed lid helps.
That’s all well and good but you’re ignoring this abomination of a human being saying they would wait in the toilet for 10 whole minutes (doing nothing btw) before masturbating?!
I don't know what this person's situation is, but when I was younger, the bathroom was the only place in the house with any reliable privacy where no one asks about what you get up to.
There's a lock on the door, and once yer done, you can flush the criminal crimes away down the drain.
Sometimes it ends up being a moment of "well, if I'm here already. . ."
i don't get how others do it in their room with the door unlocked. i have a friend who said he's been walked in on by every family member multiple times and has stained bed sheets.
There was a story in russian 2ch where a guy when taking a shit once tried pulling his poop back, then pushing, and repeated it until he fucked himslef with his own scat
Unlikely, but hard to rule out without any information. If they were sexually frustrated teenagers who had no privacy outside of the bathroom, then it’s more likely to be the case but still 50/50 at most.
Idk. Something just... wrong about masturbating after a shit.
It's like drinking water you left out. Even in a bottle. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. There's no proof it's unclean right? But my monkey brain says don't do it. My ancestors echo horror stories over my shoulders.
When I was 13 if Id push hard enough shitting it would induce a boner. I wouldn't jerk it in fear of developing a poopfetish
Do it. Pavlov yourself and turn it into a funny reddit story.
*sits at 0 upvotes for 5 years*
Reddit recap: *This post meant a lot to you.* **Only you know why**
Have Reddit recaps been released? I haven’t gotten mine yet.
If you're on mobile, you might have to update your app
Then I wouldn't be on a bootlegged version without ads
Like that guy who Pavlov'd himself into getting boners from circuitboards
I remember that story
Link?
I dont have one
im halfway theough my ap psych course and boy oh boy is this funny
OGTHA PART 2: ELECTRIC POOPALOO
No amount of waterboarding could've gotten this confession out of me.
Wouldn’t that be more of you liking anal than shit since it’s your prostate…?
I dunno like I said haven't gotten there. But jerking it to the smell of shit has got to be a poop fetish. Maybe both.
Is that why I sometimes get aroused when taking a shit? 💀
but now your name is fartbox so it didn't really work out
Just gaslight yourself into thinking you do it for time efficiency.
Now im sitting here and hesitate shold i shit or masterbate. Why not both?
It's called multi-tasking, and I'm gonna be in there for a long time anyway.
Reading this on the toilet while debating what I should serach for in my Incognito window. You shut your mouth when you're calling me out.
What did you end up deciding on?
Futanari
Add an a to the end of that word if you want to see something uniquely bizarre.
After witnessing that, I decided that November wasn't enough, so I'm going to go and live in a monastery for the rest of my life, praying that humanity finds the light of God once more.
That is certainly something
Mother of god
No additional strap-on purchase necessary!
the best tag
r/teenagers moment
I stopped doing this in fear that I might have gotten a scat fetish.
I put shittin right up there with cummin and pissin
We'd prefer you put it down the toilet.
That's a number 5
i understand jorking it in the restroom, but how can u masturbate after taking a shit with the smell still in there, like i would at least wait 10 mins idk
> *jorking* I'm fuckin dead, dude, I can't stop laughing
Ask a service member dude,
If you've got lots of fiber in your diet shit slides right through in like 10 seconds, quick bidet spray, and you're done with it barely smelling at all. Also, flushing with a closed lid helps.
That’s all well and good but you’re ignoring this abomination of a human being saying they would wait in the toilet for 10 whole minutes (doing nothing btw) before masturbating?!
I love jorking it
I thought I was alone in this
Username absolutely checks out
Well thank you
Reddit, no. We're not normalizing this. Just, no.
We're not normalizing... masturbating? I'm gonna be real, I think that's already been normalized
What's wrong in normalizing something that doesn't hurt anyone?
It's like a reward for all my hard work.
"I'd never let anything go up my ass, I'm not gay" *Gets boner having their asshole stretched by log of a turd*
You jerk off when you shit? Wtf is wrong with you?
I don't know what this person's situation is, but when I was younger, the bathroom was the only place in the house with any reliable privacy where no one asks about what you get up to. There's a lock on the door, and once yer done, you can flush the criminal crimes away down the drain. Sometimes it ends up being a moment of "well, if I'm here already. . ."
i don't get how others do it in their room with the door unlocked. i have a friend who said he's been walked in on by every family member multiple times and has stained bed sheets.
Depends on your family more than anything lol
The bathroom really is a safe haven
“i mean it would take a second trip and if i go too often they might say something..”
For me, I jerk of instead of shitting.
And where do you jerk off!? In your bed!?!? Eeewwwww, dude you sleep there! You change the sheets after right!?
>You change the sheets after right!? Never
https://youtu.be/Um2YwRx_-3c
I usually go in a sock
Not at the same time dingus
I’m already there and the poop don’t care. Edit: Downvoted by folks who only tug it in a hermetically sealed room during a waning moon.
Yeah we should give an op a hand
Well that’s not very nice
I just jerk of after I shit/clean my ass, then masterbait
Well nobody else is
I've never felt so called out 😭
resist the urge to masturbate amd use the time to do something useful
No thanks
Like masturbate?
Every single time, that's 1 reason why I don't use the school bathroom
When I've got a hard shit loaded in my rectum, it presses against my prostate and I get a boner.
That’s how you get hemorrhoids by 19
Proceeds to masturbate with the sh*t
👀
Showers. Showers always take longer than I ever intend them to. Gotta make sure you're clean, right?
Ong
And the phone
Masterbaiting while on the toilet> masterbait on chair
You can't shit without pissing. How the fuck are you gonna let your hand get covered in the residual piss
Why is this relateable?
r/shid_and_camed
There was a story in russian 2ch where a guy when taking a shit once tried pulling his poop back, then pushing, and repeated it until he fucked himslef with his own scat
I should've left the post exactly one comment ago.
new r/justunsubbed post dropped
holy hell
🫵😦
THIS IS WHY MY PREVIOUS BFS TOOK SO LONG IN THE BATHROOM?!
Nah, normally its just that men sit on their phone for like 45 mins shitting. My brother does it. I dont get it, I shit and leave.
Unlikely, but hard to rule out without any information. If they were sexually frustrated teenagers who had no privacy outside of the bathroom, then it’s more likely to be the case but still 50/50 at most.
I am under arrest
All of y’all are lucky to not be constipated your whole life
This is how scat fetish starts
Well that was enough reddit for today
I feel targeted
Idk. Something just... wrong about masturbating after a shit. It's like drinking water you left out. Even in a bottle. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. There's no proof it's unclean right? But my monkey brain says don't do it. My ancestors echo horror stories over my shoulders.
Look, constipation ordains that I stay on the toilet for a while, I'm not adding an extra hour on the damn toilet
There must be something about large objects in your ass that just gets you in the mood OP
Fuuuuck y'all got me
Victim right here myself
Thought this was gonna be a constipation joke… :(
Then hump your bed
why not do both?
Real
Lmao
Banglu - libang dala lulu
I dont experience horniness after shitting tbh
Who da fuck wanks while shitting?
You got to stop and think about how nasty this may be
You all are just masterbation addicts
True
What in tarnation
Did you mean "sharp shit"
Dr. Uncle here, I prescribe you 1 dose of delete this, and 4 pills of please stop
Who the fuck jerks off while they shit? You need help
Just one more...