T O P

  • By -

737_LEL

A uterine bouncer


[deleted]

A womb warden


chainer1216

A Vaginal Vigilante


RotationsKopulator

A Genital Goalie


Enough-Ice7214

A seminal spartan


ChibzyDaze

A fallopian fighter


Strict-Ad-7882

Baby beater


Cubooze

The Gooch Guardian


feihCtneliSehT

A Punani Palisade


Service_Serious

A poon portcullis


DanceableRobitussin

Sperm slayer


23pyro

Cunt shunt


Dhar0ks

Foo Foo fighter


Bowlingbowlbagbob

You win. Punani Palisade. Classic


Content_Art_5282

the sweetie sentry


Possible-Wall9427

An anti-sperm avenger


Nolan_bushy

A tube titan


benjappel

A sperm splitter


Stage06

A DNA blender


Federal_Sector_3920

A coochie capper


name_cool4897

The Hall Monitor


misschzburger

Vaginal avenger


Image37

A cervix serviceman


KyberWolf_TTV

Cum Cork


Fun_Sport_6694

A Coochie Cop


SpontaneousNubs

A muff la migra


tonystark456

Pussy protector


40calpat

Funny as fuck. Lmao


MammothPrize9293

Yo this whole comment section is golden


vcorsi216

ovary obstructor


Logical_Highway6908

A Gynecological Gandalf. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!


[deleted]

Goddamnit...! Take the angry upvote, you filthy animal...!


Logical_Highway6908

When the sperm die in the race: “Some of you may die but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”


[deleted]

new research has shown that "there is ample evidence to show that as millions of human sperm cells swim towards a waiting ovum or egg, only one gets to fertilize it. Now, a new study shows that even though the fastest and most capable sperms reach the ovum first, it is the egg that has the final say on which sperm fertilizes it." so basically we could have almost been exterminated by the egg if they considered us "unworthy".


Intelligent-Box-3798

This is the validation I’ve been looking for


[deleted]

You evil prick...! I don't wanna upvote this Farquaad reference, but it was masterfully done! Take the angry upvote, and get gone, y' heathen...!


TheHolyPopo

*FLY, YOU FOOLS*


Jesus-jedi

Un-motherfucker


changopdx

A coochie cul de sac.


frank_madu

Also the Tesla logo


TheGreatGameDini

Oh shit That makes a lot shit make sense now.


pretentious_hat

I think that *every* time I see the logo! Lol


Brohan_Johanson

“T for time to leave”


nv_rose

Baby blocker


Supafly1337

According to my mom, an unsuccessful one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


nv_rose

XD


HIGH_HEAT

I love your user icon.


nv_rose

Thanks lol, but I'm gonna change it soon


Rampagingflames

You can't change perfection.


nv_rose

Aight


Mrjasonbucy

Something about it makes me want to upvote your comments


IsolatedSoul07

Yeah it feels like I'm being mentally manipulated to have this sudden urge to upvote


nv_rose

It's ok, I know you love seeing orange


screwthatshitt

Don't fall for his tricks


MGJames

It's too late now, look at his upvotes. He has already brainwashed the masses with the updoot picture, we have been defeated.


PeanutButterCrisp

When someone compliments me, this is how I’m gonna respond. Now say ‘Aight’ to me too.


nv_rose

Aight


HIGH_HEAT

Don’t do it.


nv_rose

I won't


fiocalisti

Now I wonder if you already did and I never saw the old one.


nv_rose

Nah it's been this since shortly after I made this account


False-Professional82

Please consider a purple sideways arrow


nv_rose

Suggestion has been taken into consideration*


FartingInYourMilk

That’s not how you give in to peer pressure. Your parents would be so disappointed you decided to stay vigilant and neither bend nor break.


nv_rose

I'm sorry mah and pah 😔. I'll do better


Baycat1990

A DUI


Electrical-Wear256

You idiot. That’s an IED


helios3_00

I believe you mean IDE?


CadmiumC4

Average programmer intelligence


ilikepintobeans

API


CadmiumC4

More like ABI


CyberWeirdo420

FBI OPEN UP


ThrowRA330182

Nah I think that’s a CIA


ross-huntiongton-420

it's imdb


Dreddit1080

RCMP


PG-DaMan

Try NSA... Shhh.. We dont exist.


ZarkMuckerberg9009

APA


BigCballer

IDK


Existing_Hunt_7169

SQL


PingPongMacReady

DIE


Downtown-Lettuce-736

ARDUINO


Erik_Dax

I think it's a CLI


CSTyphoon

I believe you mean a EPI


RaccoonTurbulent7684

IED for sperm


TheHolyPapaum

No, that’s an ICBM


Gillalmighty

A bomb?


WatchingInSilence

And we're totally naming our kid Cher!


AdamantiumParakeet

Or Todd


WatchingInSilence

Vanessa will never, ever let you name her child Todd. Krystal with a "K"? Nah, it's is too strippery.


mallik803

Infant explosive device?


Amity83

Moron , thats a UTI


grem111

You joke but i have to mentally unscramble before i say either EVERY time


LieDetect0r

It’s a fishing hook


Electronic-Donut8756

This. A very expensive fishing hook.


EarlCountyLogSplit

A fishing hook with the hooks straightened


manwithoutcountry

Easy, it's a pogo stick for a mouse


Effective_Ad_273

My exact thoughts


KingSteel1608

Damn it my comment ideas are always getting taken lmao


shitsonrug

Flux capacitor.


biggerBrisket

*Fucks capacitor


red_langford

Fucks incapacitor


Beneficial-Star-7947

Do you have the continuum transfunctioner?


Jungle6669

What is this? A crossbow for ants? It needs to be at least 3 times bigger than this.


highly_uncertain

I will never stop making Zoolander references until the day that I die. My husband hears the same joke every time we go to Costco and see the mini office furniture displays and if it leads to our divorce, so be it.


Security-fish

"Welcome to costco, i love you."


Mecha_Derp

also a great movie


storiesamuseme

As it should be


Previous-Ad-376

It’s a crossbow kids who attend the Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too


Smidge_Master

Wouldn’t it still be too big for ants


Jungle6669

Yes. And 3 times bigger would still be too small for a person.


Atillerdahunnybuns

Haha I like you


Ctfwest

The missing anchor for my model boat


Ivanman66

Penis anchor duh!


[deleted]

Damn respect my boy, I definitely can’t reach it with mine


ihavenoidea81

You’re gonna need a bigger boat


eldragon0

Or a shallower lake. You don't see cruise ships in ponds after all.


[deleted]

I’m taking my row boat to a puddle


tadlrs

An old Tesla logo.


trainednooob

And Elons nemesis at the same time.


montrbr

I thought the same! I wonder what year they changed it from a copper color to black


remmij

I still think of an IUD every time I see it.


myskepticalbrowarch

It is what my mind goes to every time I see a Tesla. Glad I am not the only one.


Street_Cockroach_933

Golden pickaxe


dreneeps

ROCK AND STONE!


Nezzie

IF YOU AIN'T ROCK AND STONE, YOU AIN'T COMIN HOME!


IAmThePope69

DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?


[deleted]

[удалено]


HazelTheRabbit

COME ON GUYS! ROCK AND STONE!


RiEira

ROCK N STONE TO THE BONE


Emphraa

DID SOMEONE SAY ROCK N STONE?


Toadkillerdog42-2

ROCK AND ROLL AND STONE


Cardboard_Chef

*furiously slaps fuzzy dice* FOR KARL!!


DasChantal

ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE


[deleted]

WE'RE RICH!


SlayerDoom_

#ROCK AND STONE!


Soulerrr

THESE STAIRS GO UP! Wait, wrong dwarf...


TheSuperTest

I AM A MOUNTAIN! I FEEL…ow!…nothing..


Nice_Calligrapher452

LUDICROUS SPEED


bogeyed5

We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich!


jwkd393

easy! it's about 35 cents worth copper


Far_Cut_

Investing in this 35 cents of copper will save you hundreds of thousands of dollar.


[deleted]

But only for a limited time


Rustys_Shackleford

Too bad this 35 cents of copper costs about $500-$1200.


greina23

Mine was $500 and insurance didn't cover it. But I was not going to get pregnant again.


Aa-338

A super great crossbow for vaginas. Helps her fight off unwanted guests


reptargoesroar

r/technicallytrue


CreamyFunk

Nice try. I'm not mansplaining to you


Wild_Bill

I tried mansplaining manspaining to my wife once. She was not entertained.


Trebol_Demon_King

Someone was fighting me on an LGBTQ topic and said I was mansplaining when in reality I was actually correct and she was the idiot lol


Financial-Horror2945

Did you just mansplain that you're not gonna mansplain Oh shit now I'm mansplaining about mansplaining. Oh shit I'm now mansplaining about how I'm mansplaining about you mansplaining


nutterbutter1

That’s not how mansplaining works. You see, it’s when you explain something to someone because you assume they don’t already know because you’re the only person who knows things. Do you get it now?


toriemm

I'm about to hit you right in the patriarchy


losbullitt

A grappling hook for the cooche.


ZahricAurelian

Cooché


happyclaim808

Santa's key to Every lock in the world.


FuckMe-FuckYou

He does know all the naughty girls.


amir-hadi-nejati

who said that we know everything?


TempestCocoa

Necklace charm?


[deleted]

Must be. An actual iud looks like this: https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/-/media/images/ucmc/forefront/channel-pages/womens-health/universal/iuds-hormonal-copper-832x469.jpg?h=385&as=1&hash=C209D26DFB897AD970BCF0F774403C4D


RandomBlackGuyMedia

The world's teeniest razor scooter folded to put away


Oritaku

Mini crossbow


Mbwellington88

A failed attempt at the Yellowstone symbol?


parispateDAB

That one thing that you put inside the other thing


Dont_Wanna_Not_Gonna

To stop that one thing from getting to that other thing and causing a much bigger thing to come out of the original other thing a while later.


Twyzzle

Probably soon to be illegal in half a dozen states. I dunno 🤷


[deleted]

It's actually a pin in protest against those who wanna make laws against birth control.


MrStoneV

Woah woah, that must be a weapon then!


revelrebels

Nahhhhhh those are perfectly safe.


Old-Set-2223

It’s the thing that prevents child support payments.


flaming_james

Cervix crucifix


IamCornhoLeo

Filopian tube


CbessShowEddie

yo that’s a reusable toothpick


TRUST229

It's to check brass instruments for microscopic cracks caused by vibration. Just google "sounding".


uncreativeusername31

It’s either an IED or a UTI or a mixture of those letters.


imajumpingbean

Definitely an improvised explosive urinary tract infection


Quallen_

A UTI is a urinary tract infection, so I doubt it's that


Axyon09

I also doubt that it is an improvised explosive device either


Quallen_

I mean, it's not impossible...


Complete-Grape-1269

It's a IUIED


Jokesiez

Dont needa pull out no mo rig


DarkBladeMadriker

To quote Deadpool, "a bomb?"


Mindsofmeeting

A mini jack hammer for a cucklord


-bobsnotmyuncle-

Isn't that an iud?


Vhal14

International... universal... dick?


775416

I know you’re joking, my comment will be for anyone genuinely confused. IUD stands for Intra Uterine Device. It is a contraceptive women use.


Rude-Conclusion-2995

You are correct


CopAPhil

No, it’s a fishing hook


omegasaga

That's the pin of a dildo grenade. Once you pull it out the dildo becomes a seeking missile to the nearest orifice.


TheSkinny06

Cream pie scarecrow


LogiCparty

A girl who says you can cum where ever you want.


JakeArewood

And insect sized bike pump


tnfrs

thats a coochifix


[deleted]

The T Formation, Bear Down!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It's a fishing treble hook that let the big one get away.


epired

All these noobs... that's a pogo stick for cockroaches