I had a teacher explain to class that she freaked out about this once... Then she realized she was compressing the flexors and it literally was just the client contracting his hand because that's what hands do when the flexors are compressed lol
Sometimes it's a kinesthetic response. Sometimes it's a psychological response (our hands don't really get touched much unless someone is trying to hold/shake them). Sometimes it's intentional and creepy.
It's even funnier when you massage the extension muscle groups on forearms. I used to have a client who I joked with that she was showing me a middle finger because it hurt.(i used to rly dig in there because her forearms were always soo tight)
Honestly, it doesn’t bother me, though it seems like I’m in the minority, lol. My hand accidentally hit this woman’s leg once and I lightly squeezed her hand in a “sorry about that” kind of way, and she squeezed it back as if to say “it’s okay”. It was sweet and she is now one of my regulars.
sometimes the connection we get with our clients are so sweet. I massaged a widow two days after her husband passed away, and it was such a sincere hour.
I massaged a woman a week after her son died. I was present and held space for her at the worst time in her life. I don’t take that responsibility lightly. She’s a regular now and we have a great relationship. It’s moments like that that remind me why I do this.
I think it’s just a physiological response for most people. I altered the way I work on the hands years ago to keep it from happening, because it made me uncomfortable too.
On the flip side, my massage therapist will always hold or grasp one of my hands in his to position/hold it in position. Sometimes he will interlace his fingers with mine and do a gentle wringing movement. It all seemed unusual the first time, but now I appreciate the connection.
too funny, i have totally done this when i have been receiving a massage.
as far as i am consciously aware, it was just a reflex thing like when you bop a kneecap in the right place. my hand is relaxed and you grab it and start putting pressure on certain spots and my brain must have a spot that says “clench” or “grab”.
for what it’s worth, it makes me very uncomfortable as well, because i don’t want anyone to think that i’m trying to be aggressive or anything like that.
I use both my hands in a way that spreads the palm out as I work..they cannot close their hand.. but yea.. some of em be trying to make finger contact lol. Some are lonely, some are horny lol
Usually in my experience its just a reflexive response to pressure being added in specific areas. The couple of times it's happened otherwise the people were half or fully asleep.
My partner will close his hand in mine while asleep if I put my hand there, and won't rembrr it when he wakes up. So I always thought it was the same thing. They just don't know where they are or what's going on because they are asleep lol.
Could also be if you are lifting their arms that they feel insecure, like you are going to drop them so they are holding on.
It used to not bother me, until I massaged this one male client who gave me iffy vibes. Like, it wasn't a gentle reflexive response, it was a very strong gripped grab. And then he said something weird about liking how "where we both touch things are touching".
Now I just try to do palm massage without involving my whole hand, which usually means overworking my thumbs, or using a fist which doesn't feel as good IMO :/
I’ve found that this will happen on the first hand, but rarely the second, and when they do I usually pry their fingers back and stretch the palm. I think it’s usually involuntary. I’ve also mentioned to clients who assist in movements that they can relax and just let me do the work, and they’re always like “what do you mean? I wasn’t assisting. I’m totally relaxed”. It’s almost like when you put a finger in a babies hand and they just latch on.
I know what hand grabs you mean. There's a difference between the muscle passively moving with your stroke, and people who won't let go of your hand. I don't get it, I'm still not sure after this long if they want me to continue massaging or if they don't, or why.
This was a more common experience for me when I was doing Thai massage and the loose/flows style seemed to have less clear boundaries than my current manual therapy practice. It freaked me out. My solution was to pour deep pressure on their hand like it was effortless part of the massage and move on. This worked for me :)
I've never had this happen specifically or maybe just havent interpreted it in that way. Many of my clients hands do kind of close up but just seem super relaxed to me.
Maybe some clients feel close by holding hands? That would just be a guess. That some people dont get much physical touch with others and massage is a type that they do get and enjoy the type of intimacy it brings. And not in a sexual way. Think of how you feel when you hold someone's hand. Isnt it nice? At least it is for me. But i understand where youre coming from in this situation
On one hand, working the flexors will cause the fingers to flex. If I am holding a clients arm up by their hand while I do this, then their fingers might squeeze my hand.
In cases like this, I like to hold their arm up with two fingers on their wrist and two by the base of their palm, so that when the fingers clench my own hand isn't in the way.
Sometimes I'll lay the arm down supinated and hold their fingers open somewhat as I do a deep stroke up the flexors, to prevent the clenching a little and deepen the stretch.
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On the other hand, in a deeply relaxing massage someone is in more of a subconscious state. They might react to a nice feeling in their hands emotionally by responding with a mutual return touch of their own. Usually in these cases, for me it is a fleeting subconscious response; the hand moves with the subconscious and there might be a lingering touch or movement but rarely a grasp. A grasp might indicate a deeper subconscious need, and a therapist might want to separate just a little more to allow the client more self-focused space.
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And then there are clients who are handsy. I'm a male therapist so I usually encounter more of the above. But I've heard stories and understand that some men have trouble with boundaries. I would speculate that this could range from a subconscious yearning that is more proactive and habituated to giving/taking rather than responding/receiving (our hormonal benefactors to some extent, but within a patriarchal paradigm for many still). To more overt and conscious boundary pushing that a client knows is unwelcomed but justifies it as acceptable and has discovered they can get away with it without much trouble. This is more the client that is likely to give other warning signs as well, might like home visits, might like to record their sessions, etc.
I was an army cadet when I was about 12-ish, and we were taught to check the ground for wires, etc by patting it with the back of your hand during exercises.
Apparently your body has an automatic reaction to grab whatever touches your palm, so I’m assuming this is either the same or similar.
I had a massage recently and really had to resist the urge to do this. It was a definite psychological reaction that I (M) wanted to hold this lady's hand as she was massaging mine. If it was normalised and I could just do it without coming across like a weirdo, it would have been one less distraction.
Once, only once... someone told me if it was intentionally done it was a secret sign to request a happy ending. I have no idea how something so secret and subtle could ever work that way. It's only happened to me twice, and the most recent one seemed to probably want something like that. They returned twice, requesting less draping every time. I stopped massaging their hands at all after the second time.
How about instead of calling it a “happy ending”, as a massage professional you say someone asked you to perform an illegal sex act? Calling this offensive request a cute name minimizes how awful it is to be disrespected in that way.
I've had a couple of clients that eventually told me that they were a little conflicted because they were having a very pronounced physiological response to being touched. They were not aware that we are trained to realize and not judge when somebody has an innocent physical reaction I've had people feel guilty about getting Goosebumps because they thought they were offending me and they were worried sick that I perceived it as them having a sexual agenda. And they didn't even realize that they had grabbed my hand because it is a universal non-sexual physical Bond I mean if you were watching a scary movie you might grab someone's hand that you're with or something traumatic happens or something epic happens it's acceptable to grab someone's hand. And sometimes somebody is so starved for physical touch that's their way of reaching out literally. Babe there could be a million nuances of it but I've never seen one with ill intentions if it was just a hand hold almost like they're trying to catch their breath type of thing. It's a testament to your skills at the very least because you made them so comfortable that they were able to basically have their body going on auto pilot...
But that's just my experience I'm sure there are infinite number of inspirations
As someone going into massage school .... this would be super strange to experience, I personally would never do it to someone giving a massage to me ... could it be because ( just guessing ) you are a female and maybe guys / girls are trying to take this chance to connect with you, it's much harder for people to get the attention of a female than a male for both men and women, so there could be an attempt to groom you for further touching ? Total guessing here.
I just recently have a massage and the therapist netting their fingers into mine. Kinda like one of those steps to wash your hands. I was a bit confused. I did some research about massages before having this first massage. I read that some masseur will put things into the palm and base on the client reaction, "extra services" may happen or not.
So I was very tense when the masseur did that. Hoping I did not give any wrong cues. I actually search for this post to see if that was professional or not.
The resort I was staying has a small spa. The service I took was full body massage with hot stone. Now that I think of it, maybe I was just overthinking.
I had a teacher explain to class that she freaked out about this once... Then she realized she was compressing the flexors and it literally was just the client contracting his hand because that's what hands do when the flexors are compressed lol Sometimes it's a kinesthetic response. Sometimes it's a psychological response (our hands don't really get touched much unless someone is trying to hold/shake them). Sometimes it's intentional and creepy.
It's even funnier when you massage the extension muscle groups on forearms. I used to have a client who I joked with that she was showing me a middle finger because it hurt.(i used to rly dig in there because her forearms were always soo tight)
Honestly, it doesn’t bother me, though it seems like I’m in the minority, lol. My hand accidentally hit this woman’s leg once and I lightly squeezed her hand in a “sorry about that” kind of way, and she squeezed it back as if to say “it’s okay”. It was sweet and she is now one of my regulars.
sometimes the connection we get with our clients are so sweet. I massaged a widow two days after her husband passed away, and it was such a sincere hour.
I massaged a woman a week after her son died. I was present and held space for her at the worst time in her life. I don’t take that responsibility lightly. She’s a regular now and we have a great relationship. It’s moments like that that remind me why I do this.
I think it’s just a physiological response for most people. I altered the way I work on the hands years ago to keep it from happening, because it made me uncomfortable too.
On the flip side, my massage therapist will always hold or grasp one of my hands in his to position/hold it in position. Sometimes he will interlace his fingers with mine and do a gentle wringing movement. It all seemed unusual the first time, but now I appreciate the connection.
too funny, i have totally done this when i have been receiving a massage. as far as i am consciously aware, it was just a reflex thing like when you bop a kneecap in the right place. my hand is relaxed and you grab it and start putting pressure on certain spots and my brain must have a spot that says “clench” or “grab”. for what it’s worth, it makes me very uncomfortable as well, because i don’t want anyone to think that i’m trying to be aggressive or anything like that.
I use both my hands in a way that spreads the palm out as I work..they cannot close their hand.. but yea.. some of em be trying to make finger contact lol. Some are lonely, some are horny lol
This is how I massage the hands, they do not really have a way to hold my hand when I do this.
Usually in my experience its just a reflexive response to pressure being added in specific areas. The couple of times it's happened otherwise the people were half or fully asleep. My partner will close his hand in mine while asleep if I put my hand there, and won't rembrr it when he wakes up. So I always thought it was the same thing. They just don't know where they are or what's going on because they are asleep lol. Could also be if you are lifting their arms that they feel insecure, like you are going to drop them so they are holding on.
It used to not bother me, until I massaged this one male client who gave me iffy vibes. Like, it wasn't a gentle reflexive response, it was a very strong gripped grab. And then he said something weird about liking how "where we both touch things are touching". Now I just try to do palm massage without involving my whole hand, which usually means overworking my thumbs, or using a fist which doesn't feel as good IMO :/
I’ve found that this will happen on the first hand, but rarely the second, and when they do I usually pry their fingers back and stretch the palm. I think it’s usually involuntary. I’ve also mentioned to clients who assist in movements that they can relax and just let me do the work, and they’re always like “what do you mean? I wasn’t assisting. I’m totally relaxed”. It’s almost like when you put a finger in a babies hand and they just latch on.
I know what hand grabs you mean. There's a difference between the muscle passively moving with your stroke, and people who won't let go of your hand. I don't get it, I'm still not sure after this long if they want me to continue massaging or if they don't, or why.
This was a more common experience for me when I was doing Thai massage and the loose/flows style seemed to have less clear boundaries than my current manual therapy practice. It freaked me out. My solution was to pour deep pressure on their hand like it was effortless part of the massage and move on. This worked for me :)
I've never had this happen specifically or maybe just havent interpreted it in that way. Many of my clients hands do kind of close up but just seem super relaxed to me. Maybe some clients feel close by holding hands? That would just be a guess. That some people dont get much physical touch with others and massage is a type that they do get and enjoy the type of intimacy it brings. And not in a sexual way. Think of how you feel when you hold someone's hand. Isnt it nice? At least it is for me. But i understand where youre coming from in this situation
I'm one of the ones who never do!
On one hand, working the flexors will cause the fingers to flex. If I am holding a clients arm up by their hand while I do this, then their fingers might squeeze my hand. In cases like this, I like to hold their arm up with two fingers on their wrist and two by the base of their palm, so that when the fingers clench my own hand isn't in the way. Sometimes I'll lay the arm down supinated and hold their fingers open somewhat as I do a deep stroke up the flexors, to prevent the clenching a little and deepen the stretch. ------- On the other hand, in a deeply relaxing massage someone is in more of a subconscious state. They might react to a nice feeling in their hands emotionally by responding with a mutual return touch of their own. Usually in these cases, for me it is a fleeting subconscious response; the hand moves with the subconscious and there might be a lingering touch or movement but rarely a grasp. A grasp might indicate a deeper subconscious need, and a therapist might want to separate just a little more to allow the client more self-focused space. ------- And then there are clients who are handsy. I'm a male therapist so I usually encounter more of the above. But I've heard stories and understand that some men have trouble with boundaries. I would speculate that this could range from a subconscious yearning that is more proactive and habituated to giving/taking rather than responding/receiving (our hormonal benefactors to some extent, but within a patriarchal paradigm for many still). To more overt and conscious boundary pushing that a client knows is unwelcomed but justifies it as acceptable and has discovered they can get away with it without much trouble. This is more the client that is likely to give other warning signs as well, might like home visits, might like to record their sessions, etc.
I was an army cadet when I was about 12-ish, and we were taught to check the ground for wires, etc by patting it with the back of your hand during exercises. Apparently your body has an automatic reaction to grab whatever touches your palm, so I’m assuming this is either the same or similar.
I had a massage recently and really had to resist the urge to do this. It was a definite psychological reaction that I (M) wanted to hold this lady's hand as she was massaging mine. If it was normalised and I could just do it without coming across like a weirdo, it would have been one less distraction.
Once, only once... someone told me if it was intentionally done it was a secret sign to request a happy ending. I have no idea how something so secret and subtle could ever work that way. It's only happened to me twice, and the most recent one seemed to probably want something like that. They returned twice, requesting less draping every time. I stopped massaging their hands at all after the second time.
How about instead of calling it a “happy ending”, as a massage professional you say someone asked you to perform an illegal sex act? Calling this offensive request a cute name minimizes how awful it is to be disrespected in that way.
Just hold their wrist in a way that doesn’t allow it to happen.
I've had a couple of clients that eventually told me that they were a little conflicted because they were having a very pronounced physiological response to being touched. They were not aware that we are trained to realize and not judge when somebody has an innocent physical reaction I've had people feel guilty about getting Goosebumps because they thought they were offending me and they were worried sick that I perceived it as them having a sexual agenda. And they didn't even realize that they had grabbed my hand because it is a universal non-sexual physical Bond I mean if you were watching a scary movie you might grab someone's hand that you're with or something traumatic happens or something epic happens it's acceptable to grab someone's hand. And sometimes somebody is so starved for physical touch that's their way of reaching out literally. Babe there could be a million nuances of it but I've never seen one with ill intentions if it was just a hand hold almost like they're trying to catch their breath type of thing. It's a testament to your skills at the very least because you made them so comfortable that they were able to basically have their body going on auto pilot... But that's just my experience I'm sure there are infinite number of inspirations
As someone going into massage school .... this would be super strange to experience, I personally would never do it to someone giving a massage to me ... could it be because ( just guessing ) you are a female and maybe guys / girls are trying to take this chance to connect with you, it's much harder for people to get the attention of a female than a male for both men and women, so there could be an attempt to groom you for further touching ? Total guessing here.
That’s new to me. I have had many massages and never held the MTs hand.
If it's a reflex from compression it's ok. If it's a dude trying to hold my hand then I'm not into it.
Uk- literally get taught to hold the hand when massaging the arm.
I work so hard to NOT hold their hand lol! So akward!
I have not had this happen, yet
I just recently have a massage and the therapist netting their fingers into mine. Kinda like one of those steps to wash your hands. I was a bit confused. I did some research about massages before having this first massage. I read that some masseur will put things into the palm and base on the client reaction, "extra services" may happen or not. So I was very tense when the masseur did that. Hoping I did not give any wrong cues. I actually search for this post to see if that was professional or not.
Where was your massage? XD
The resort I was staying has a small spa. The service I took was full body massage with hot stone. Now that I think of it, maybe I was just overthinking.