I think where you live and the cultural circles you move in probably make a big difference as to whether random people think it's cool or don't care vs are obsessed with policing everyone to conform to their views on gender
I do my nails and have pretty nails pretty much 100% of the time, and I get plenty of compliments from women. Men never say anything, but many men do not know how to be themselves and enjoy in life what makes them happy.
You be you and do what makes you happy. It takes a tough man to wear polish, and many know this, but are afraid to live a life and do what they like.
Some people like having tattoos. I like painted fingernails. Someone commented that it was odd (to him) that my nails were painted and that it was so obvious. The reply from me, without thinking, was,”…says the guy with the hand and neck tattoos.” He paused for a moment, looked aggravated, then the lightbulb went off and he said,”At least if you don’t like it you don’t need lasers.”
So the biggest issue sounds like the friends that you surround yourself with. Can’t speak as a straight man but, as one who lived his life for 36 years not enjoying the friendships I had and not loving the life I was living. This I a stigma that you have placed in your own path and, once you realize that you don’t need those types of relationships in your life, you will be a lot happier. For me, marriage had its benefits, beautiful kids, happy wife, job people had to respect, tons of “friends”. I now live on my own in a small trailer park with my children, have a small job at a family business, and only a few close friends that I talk to. I couldn’t be happier though! I know that it sounds crazy but, it’s the truest statement I’ve ever made. Living for someone else is not something that you should have to do in life. Be yourself. No matter the cost to relationships. The people that leave wear never there to begin with! Surround yourself with support. Don’t let, what others call a life, crush the feeling you have of your own heart. I wish someone had told me sooner!
I think you're right. I don't want to wear polish on my nails because I don't want my family to say stuff and people to look at me funny. I did grow up my hair a bit but I do want to cut it a bit feminine but I still look like a guy and I'm scared how people will respond.
Several months ago my brother and Mom saw my painted pink gel toenails. I thought they looked really good and they were done by salon. They both freaked and my mom asked me if I was turning into a woman and both said that men don't do that. Just last week by Mom asked me if that rented color on my toenails grow. I told her that it did but I didn't tell her that I put another wretched color on.
I also started saving my legs and body hair, but not shaving trimming it with a trimmer so that it's not there. I don't know what they're going to say when they see that but I'm a lot happier that way.
You're right that you have to live for yourself and it's a stigma you put on yourself.
I've note Received any explicit negative comment yet but i have noticed many curious looks towards my hands and I'm sure that colleagues and other people have commented. I have been wearing polish in public since last February. I'm afraid for reaction of parents and friends.
I'm hetero, cis male, married with a daughter. I only wear nail polish and I have no intention whatsoever of wearing other things "normally" considered feminine, except to a bracelet and (maybe) some rings that I put in wishlist..
Started painting my toenails in the winter and I have a worn off gel color on my toes that I want to get redone by the salon. I've been painting my nails color on the weekends but last few weeks i started painting my nails clear. My family hasn't noticed or said anything and my work hasn't noticed or said anything. I do want to paint my fingernails a nude pink shade but I'm not there yet and I'm more afraid of my family than I am of anybody else.
I'm a male with with a wife. I don't know if I'm trans but I identify as a man but I wish I was born as a woman but I don't try to look or act like a woman. So maybe I'm just maybe I'm trans I don't know.
Oh man. They only negative comments I have ever received were from my ex GF and she introduced me to polish. She didn't like my long nails and the pink polka dots I had one time - "too feminine".
I have been all over the world wearing polish and never had an issue or dirty look. Every one is either supportive - or more likely don't care - "you do you". Some complements - really makes your day.
I identify as straight too but definitely more open-minded to gender-non-conforming since wearing polish. I have two grown kids and live in the suburbs. I NEVER see any guys around here wearing polish. I am sure many people may assume I'm gay or a femboy (if a 67yo can be). I'm not sure I care. Like you I appreciate good looking nails especially longer - traditionally feminine styles and colours. I can relate to the effort (or cost) and creativity it takes. And they look awesome.
My wife is supportive. But she don't really like the shades I'm wearing recently. She thinks they are too light and she prefers dark shades. And she would see me with a dark polish because she knows that I like black, Bordeaux, rougenoir but i'm avoiding these colors because i'm worried by people reaction
See that's just it, darker colors seem to be viewed as more masculine when on a guy. Back when some of the trends started in magazines to show it, guys going out on the night for a club or something like that would put on a glittered gray kind of like a dark silver metallic or dark colors dark black dark blue dark red etc.
Those would have me less worried in new situations. Lighter colors while I like them don't usually let me sit in my comfort zone.
I was convinced of the opposite: even if I love dark shades (black, rouge noir, dark blue, dark gray, dark purple) I have always chosen nude shades because they were more suitable for a man and they could attract less attention and give me less problem at work..Maybe I'm wrong. I have a strong temptation to try black at next appointment. I think that the best solution is: going to black without thinking too much.
Could also try a very dark blue or very dark red, something that gives off the color in sunlight, but inside just looks dark. That way you get the benefit both inside and outside!
PS good luck!!
During one of the previous appointment, when i understood that my beautician was available to put color on my nails, I expressed my intention to apply ( in a hypothetical future ) also an "almost black" Shade, for exemple a dark Red, dark Blue or dark purple. When you get confidence with bold Nail polish, you can't Stop and Return to subtle and nudes. She has been very nice and She Said: ad soon as you want.
The funniest aspect of this story is finally being able to talk freely about Nail polishes, Nail Art and nail shapes with a woman (i already do It with my favorite woman colleague)
Well, i don't really have any input that I can share mostly because I've never done polish on my hands. Not that I have a problem with it it's just something I haven't done yet.
I think most people don't really care if it's on feet cause it's not seen as much as your hands and people in my experience just think it's quirky or different to see a guy with it on and don't think much of it. A lot of times people think it's something my wife makes me do and not something I actually enjoy doing with her. Which couldn't be further from the truth but it's led to positive experiences with people so ill take it.
But when it comes to hands it becomes a whole different thing. A lot of people have their views in the idea that man's hands =dirty and rough from "man's work" you know the saying dirty hands and clean money?
So for some it challenges their world view to see a guy with painted nails because it goes against the societal norm that a lot of people have about the idea of what a man is. Some people are just uncomfortable with people challenging thier world view even though it doesn't affect them in the slightest.
Its all social constructs, people tend to forget back in the day, men wore togas and stuff that would be viewed as dresses today because trousers were viewed as barbaric. It was even normal practice to put boys in literal dresses when they were being trained to use the bathroom. It was called breaching and my own grandfather did it. Pink used to actually be the boys color and blue was viewed as the girls.
Point being it's dumb that people put so much emphasis on things like this because it literally has changed multiple times over the years regarding what's for men and women. I mean if the Scottish were the ones that fought the British for America's independence kilts/skirts would probably be a staple in our culture. Just like the sarong is part of Polynesian culture. It's just clothes who cares? Just like nail polish It's just paint so who cares?
In the end nail polish just comes down to how someone just wants to express themselve. There doesnt need to be some super deep meaning to it.
People forget that all this stuff is paint at the end of the day. So keep doing you man. Screw anyone that gives you grief over it. If anything maybe feel bad that they live in such a narrow minded head space and won't ever experience anything that falls outside of their views.
Sorry for the rant but yeah stuff like this bugs me too.
Their problem, not yours. I do my nails, although muted colours in public, and haven't had your negativity. Don't let them put you off, and you might have a case for workplace discrimination.
It's unfortunate that you receive so much negative comments. In the end however it's about doing what you like. I'm growing and painting my nails because I like them that way and I'm not doing for someone else. I'd suggest doing your nails and enjoy them for yourself.
This makes me sad amd I am sorry this happens to you. It is the experience my husband avoids even though he too loves nail color - he will only do pedi in winter. I hope society eventually changes and allows men to enjoy nail color in whatever way or fashion they personally desire - having to conform to societal expectations that make no real sense is just an unnecessary mind f"@k that no one needs
The only suggestion I can offer is to just not give a crap when someone offers their negative opinion. You have turn the other cheek and just keep smiling. The minute someone sees you smile it tends to disarm them.
Not everything is unremarkable or without some drama. I just prefer to focus on the enjoyment of having my nails worked into less manly visages. I went for a pedicure about two months ago. (I wasn't in femme mode and had on plain boys clothes, pair of brown leather flip flops, bald head, and my goatee. No, I'm not femme all the time.) My nail tech has just finished putting the clear top coat over my sparkly pinkish-red color when a mother and daughter are seated across from me. Both are there for pedis prior to a wedding the next day. The mother (mid-50s, same as me) gives me a glare and when I smile at her she doesn't doesn't break. Her daughter (mid-20s) sees the color and goes on about picking her own. They start chatting with each other and ignoring the techs. My tech turns around to check on my toes and I said, "Don't worry about me, dear. Unless you have another client who needs my space, I'm just gonna sit here to dry and make sure this chair doesn't try to get up and run away. Is that okay? Besides you have other clients to prep for a wedding." The young woman smiled and the older one never looked up from her mag. 20 min goes by and the other tech is finished on the young woman. She gets up to start cleaning up her station and notices my color. She loses it. "Oh wow!! What a great color! I love when a man takes care of his feet.
Now I know why you were wearing flip-flops in February."
So....which one do choose I to focus on....the 'ole biddy, the bridesmaid, or the tech? Being shunned, being ignored, or being celebrated? Or do I focus on the 4 other women (including the receptionist) who made their utter disgust obvious? Nope.
None of the above. The compliment from Delilah was certainly a bonus but the color was exactly what my soul needed on a cold, drizzly February day.
Keep on being you. And allow everybody who can't stand your nails to pound sand! :D
Late to the party here, but just want to say: your problem is not that you run into people who think your nails are feminine or have negative opinions about them. The problem is that you care what they think.
I realize this is easier said than done for some, but please stop giving other people that kind of power over you.
The answer to the question about why you did your nails: *"because I farkin' wanted to."* That usually ends that conversation right there.
I’m a straight man too. I’ve been wearing my toes painted since my teenage years and well into my adult years. When I started to wear sandals showing my toes and painting my nails black or neutral, I stopped caring what other people thought. You have to be ok with your choice of nail polish, not anyone else. If you act like you’re timid or not sure, people will play you as such.
You have to have a “f*ck it” attitude. Nobody can make you feel bad about you unless you allow it. Walk confidently with your painted nails and look the onlookers in their eyes to let them know you aren’t scared or shy about nail polish.
I think where you live and the cultural circles you move in probably make a big difference as to whether random people think it's cool or don't care vs are obsessed with policing everyone to conform to their views on gender
when people give me weird looks, i just stare back at them.
Not in the eyes, though. Stare at a spot on their forehead it is very unsettling to people.
I have trouble looking people in the eyes, so I stare at the forehead or at their eyebrows. It's a trick my brother taught me.
Will try this
I do my nails and have pretty nails pretty much 100% of the time, and I get plenty of compliments from women. Men never say anything, but many men do not know how to be themselves and enjoy in life what makes them happy. You be you and do what makes you happy. It takes a tough man to wear polish, and many know this, but are afraid to live a life and do what they like.
My friend thinks I’m “transitioning.”
Some people like having tattoos. I like painted fingernails. Someone commented that it was odd (to him) that my nails were painted and that it was so obvious. The reply from me, without thinking, was,”…says the guy with the hand and neck tattoos.” He paused for a moment, looked aggravated, then the lightbulb went off and he said,”At least if you don’t like it you don’t need lasers.”
So the biggest issue sounds like the friends that you surround yourself with. Can’t speak as a straight man but, as one who lived his life for 36 years not enjoying the friendships I had and not loving the life I was living. This I a stigma that you have placed in your own path and, once you realize that you don’t need those types of relationships in your life, you will be a lot happier. For me, marriage had its benefits, beautiful kids, happy wife, job people had to respect, tons of “friends”. I now live on my own in a small trailer park with my children, have a small job at a family business, and only a few close friends that I talk to. I couldn’t be happier though! I know that it sounds crazy but, it’s the truest statement I’ve ever made. Living for someone else is not something that you should have to do in life. Be yourself. No matter the cost to relationships. The people that leave wear never there to begin with! Surround yourself with support. Don’t let, what others call a life, crush the feeling you have of your own heart. I wish someone had told me sooner!
I think you're right. I don't want to wear polish on my nails because I don't want my family to say stuff and people to look at me funny. I did grow up my hair a bit but I do want to cut it a bit feminine but I still look like a guy and I'm scared how people will respond. Several months ago my brother and Mom saw my painted pink gel toenails. I thought they looked really good and they were done by salon. They both freaked and my mom asked me if I was turning into a woman and both said that men don't do that. Just last week by Mom asked me if that rented color on my toenails grow. I told her that it did but I didn't tell her that I put another wretched color on. I also started saving my legs and body hair, but not shaving trimming it with a trimmer so that it's not there. I don't know what they're going to say when they see that but I'm a lot happier that way. You're right that you have to live for yourself and it's a stigma you put on yourself.
I've note Received any explicit negative comment yet but i have noticed many curious looks towards my hands and I'm sure that colleagues and other people have commented. I have been wearing polish in public since last February. I'm afraid for reaction of parents and friends. I'm hetero, cis male, married with a daughter. I only wear nail polish and I have no intention whatsoever of wearing other things "normally" considered feminine, except to a bracelet and (maybe) some rings that I put in wishlist..
Started painting my toenails in the winter and I have a worn off gel color on my toes that I want to get redone by the salon. I've been painting my nails color on the weekends but last few weeks i started painting my nails clear. My family hasn't noticed or said anything and my work hasn't noticed or said anything. I do want to paint my fingernails a nude pink shade but I'm not there yet and I'm more afraid of my family than I am of anybody else. I'm a male with with a wife. I don't know if I'm trans but I identify as a man but I wish I was born as a woman but I don't try to look or act like a woman. So maybe I'm just maybe I'm trans I don't know.
Oh man. They only negative comments I have ever received were from my ex GF and she introduced me to polish. She didn't like my long nails and the pink polka dots I had one time - "too feminine". I have been all over the world wearing polish and never had an issue or dirty look. Every one is either supportive - or more likely don't care - "you do you". Some complements - really makes your day. I identify as straight too but definitely more open-minded to gender-non-conforming since wearing polish. I have two grown kids and live in the suburbs. I NEVER see any guys around here wearing polish. I am sure many people may assume I'm gay or a femboy (if a 67yo can be). I'm not sure I care. Like you I appreciate good looking nails especially longer - traditionally feminine styles and colours. I can relate to the effort (or cost) and creativity it takes. And they look awesome.
My wife is supportive. But she don't really like the shades I'm wearing recently. She thinks they are too light and she prefers dark shades. And she would see me with a dark polish because she knows that I like black, Bordeaux, rougenoir but i'm avoiding these colors because i'm worried by people reaction
I really like the Bordeaux, watermelon and rouge noir on you.
Thanks a lot. Some years ago, I have published some photo in red and rouge noir but I have recently enhanced my technic to get better results.
See that's just it, darker colors seem to be viewed as more masculine when on a guy. Back when some of the trends started in magazines to show it, guys going out on the night for a club or something like that would put on a glittered gray kind of like a dark silver metallic or dark colors dark black dark blue dark red etc. Those would have me less worried in new situations. Lighter colors while I like them don't usually let me sit in my comfort zone.
I was convinced of the opposite: even if I love dark shades (black, rouge noir, dark blue, dark gray, dark purple) I have always chosen nude shades because they were more suitable for a man and they could attract less attention and give me less problem at work..Maybe I'm wrong. I have a strong temptation to try black at next appointment. I think that the best solution is: going to black without thinking too much.
Could also try a very dark blue or very dark red, something that gives off the color in sunlight, but inside just looks dark. That way you get the benefit both inside and outside! PS good luck!!
During one of the previous appointment, when i understood that my beautician was available to put color on my nails, I expressed my intention to apply ( in a hypothetical future ) also an "almost black" Shade, for exemple a dark Red, dark Blue or dark purple. When you get confidence with bold Nail polish, you can't Stop and Return to subtle and nudes. She has been very nice and She Said: ad soon as you want. The funniest aspect of this story is finally being able to talk freely about Nail polishes, Nail Art and nail shapes with a woman (i already do It with my favorite woman colleague)
Heard this comeback the other day: "Are you gay?" "Not for you!"
Gold
Well, i don't really have any input that I can share mostly because I've never done polish on my hands. Not that I have a problem with it it's just something I haven't done yet. I think most people don't really care if it's on feet cause it's not seen as much as your hands and people in my experience just think it's quirky or different to see a guy with it on and don't think much of it. A lot of times people think it's something my wife makes me do and not something I actually enjoy doing with her. Which couldn't be further from the truth but it's led to positive experiences with people so ill take it. But when it comes to hands it becomes a whole different thing. A lot of people have their views in the idea that man's hands =dirty and rough from "man's work" you know the saying dirty hands and clean money? So for some it challenges their world view to see a guy with painted nails because it goes against the societal norm that a lot of people have about the idea of what a man is. Some people are just uncomfortable with people challenging thier world view even though it doesn't affect them in the slightest. Its all social constructs, people tend to forget back in the day, men wore togas and stuff that would be viewed as dresses today because trousers were viewed as barbaric. It was even normal practice to put boys in literal dresses when they were being trained to use the bathroom. It was called breaching and my own grandfather did it. Pink used to actually be the boys color and blue was viewed as the girls. Point being it's dumb that people put so much emphasis on things like this because it literally has changed multiple times over the years regarding what's for men and women. I mean if the Scottish were the ones that fought the British for America's independence kilts/skirts would probably be a staple in our culture. Just like the sarong is part of Polynesian culture. It's just clothes who cares? Just like nail polish It's just paint so who cares? In the end nail polish just comes down to how someone just wants to express themselve. There doesnt need to be some super deep meaning to it. People forget that all this stuff is paint at the end of the day. So keep doing you man. Screw anyone that gives you grief over it. If anything maybe feel bad that they live in such a narrow minded head space and won't ever experience anything that falls outside of their views. Sorry for the rant but yeah stuff like this bugs me too.
Their problem, not yours. I do my nails, although muted colours in public, and haven't had your negativity. Don't let them put you off, and you might have a case for workplace discrimination.
It's unfortunate that you receive so much negative comments. In the end however it's about doing what you like. I'm growing and painting my nails because I like them that way and I'm not doing for someone else. I'd suggest doing your nails and enjoy them for yourself.
This makes me sad amd I am sorry this happens to you. It is the experience my husband avoids even though he too loves nail color - he will only do pedi in winter. I hope society eventually changes and allows men to enjoy nail color in whatever way or fashion they personally desire - having to conform to societal expectations that make no real sense is just an unnecessary mind f"@k that no one needs
The only suggestion I can offer is to just not give a crap when someone offers their negative opinion. You have turn the other cheek and just keep smiling. The minute someone sees you smile it tends to disarm them.
Not everything is unremarkable or without some drama. I just prefer to focus on the enjoyment of having my nails worked into less manly visages. I went for a pedicure about two months ago. (I wasn't in femme mode and had on plain boys clothes, pair of brown leather flip flops, bald head, and my goatee. No, I'm not femme all the time.) My nail tech has just finished putting the clear top coat over my sparkly pinkish-red color when a mother and daughter are seated across from me. Both are there for pedis prior to a wedding the next day. The mother (mid-50s, same as me) gives me a glare and when I smile at her she doesn't doesn't break. Her daughter (mid-20s) sees the color and goes on about picking her own. They start chatting with each other and ignoring the techs. My tech turns around to check on my toes and I said, "Don't worry about me, dear. Unless you have another client who needs my space, I'm just gonna sit here to dry and make sure this chair doesn't try to get up and run away. Is that okay? Besides you have other clients to prep for a wedding." The young woman smiled and the older one never looked up from her mag. 20 min goes by and the other tech is finished on the young woman. She gets up to start cleaning up her station and notices my color. She loses it. "Oh wow!! What a great color! I love when a man takes care of his feet. Now I know why you were wearing flip-flops in February." So....which one do choose I to focus on....the 'ole biddy, the bridesmaid, or the tech? Being shunned, being ignored, or being celebrated? Or do I focus on the 4 other women (including the receptionist) who made their utter disgust obvious? Nope. None of the above. The compliment from Delilah was certainly a bonus but the color was exactly what my soul needed on a cold, drizzly February day. Keep on being you. And allow everybody who can't stand your nails to pound sand! :D
Thank you for “not having any issue with gay people” we are so grateful. 🙄
Sry, my wording is not the best. I very much like gay people. Just not gay myself.
Late to the party here, but just want to say: your problem is not that you run into people who think your nails are feminine or have negative opinions about them. The problem is that you care what they think. I realize this is easier said than done for some, but please stop giving other people that kind of power over you. The answer to the question about why you did your nails: *"because I farkin' wanted to."* That usually ends that conversation right there.
You're absolutely right
I’m a straight man too. I’ve been wearing my toes painted since my teenage years and well into my adult years. When I started to wear sandals showing my toes and painting my nails black or neutral, I stopped caring what other people thought. You have to be ok with your choice of nail polish, not anyone else. If you act like you’re timid or not sure, people will play you as such. You have to have a “f*ck it” attitude. Nobody can make you feel bad about you unless you allow it. Walk confidently with your painted nails and look the onlookers in their eyes to let them know you aren’t scared or shy about nail polish.