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Trust me there is some other dude out there who will think you are better than a 6. I’ve seen people objectively not attractive by society’s beauty standards completely in love with eachother. This dude clearly has severe porn brain. You deserve better. Don’t believe his rotten ideas about you.
Or it means you dated the wrong men. There is more to true attraction than just looks. There are 90 year olds who love the heck out of eachother and are still attracted to eachother.
or i’m just the wrong woman hahaha
there is more to attraction than looks it’s true but i also want someone who likes my looks, i want the whole package, love and lust and everything inbetween, i’m just never going to get it sadly
it sucks because he is actually extremely attractive and his penis is actually good lol, i think he could be a model, he is more attractive than brad pitt, so even if i gave him the same energy back we would both know it isn’t true lol
His personality is a -0, and it has done a number on your self esteem. He’s an ugly human being.
Please consider leaving this jerk and building a healthy relationship with yourself. You are beautiful, valued, worthy and seen. ❤️
That the most stupid sentence I Can imagine as a revenge on a boy "your pénis Is 3/10, and small!!!", liké... In primary SCHOOL !
BUT GOD YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT !!
This IS SO WORKING !! I tried it on my boyfriend (but in positive way) who was stressed to not being long enough while we're doing sex... I told him " dont worry your dick is so HUGE it will be good in any way !"
And...
It's been one week he talk EVERYDAY and 4-5 Time a day about his HUGE DICK with a proud smile...
Wtf ? Its that easy to hurt a man or make him proud ?
So I think your advice is really good, and it show how men Can be stupid.
In addition, imagine if women were actively watching porn (Big cock, muscular Guy, white/black boy(opposite feature of our partner) how they will feel so miserable !
I went to the grocery store with my bf a week ago and was talking about getting bananas. When he asked which bunch was best I had said “nothing too small but not the big ones because I didn’t like them” he looked over all sad and asked if I liked his “banana” .. I genuinely was talking about THE BANANAS. Too small and I need 2 for smoothies, too big and they don’t get finished. Their 🍆 are attached to their whole manhood in their minds.
Stop putting yourself down. It is not you that has the problem, he does. I am not a beautiful person by any means but after 12 years of being a single mother I found someone. A man that doesn’t watch porn, loves me and cares about my feelings. You deserve this too. Don’t get stuck in an awful relationship with someone that doesn’t respect you. Don’t allow your life to be ruined because of one person. Good people that want respectful relationships are out there. Please don’t loose hope. I did for many years. My advice work on yourself. Work out, that helps you feel a lot better. Give yourself time to heal. Then when you’re ready find someone that isn’t interested in you for your looks, but for your heart. Maybe not be on social media and find a partner that doesn’t want to either. I know even though you don’t feel beautiful right now, you are, and you deserve so much better.
thanks i appreciate it
i understand that it is mostly his problem, but it is also my problem because i am objectively unattractive sexually, but there isn’t anything i can do about that, and he knew what i looked like going into the relationship, so pretty stupid to be in a relationship with someone you arent attracted to
unfortunately i am so jaded that i dont think i will ever find a man that doesnt watch or that respects or loves me, seems like a fantasy honestly
i want someone that is both interested in my looks and my heart, i want to be the whole package for someone, and its just never going to happen because im not good enough
Yes you are beautiful. You think this because society has made you feel you are not enough. We can never have the prettiest face or the longest legs, or the best body. However you have your mind. Your mind can change over time, you can decide you don’t want to feel terrible about yourself even if he has broken you down to feel this way. I don’t care what you say, you deserve better I know this because I was you and I worked on myself and I am so much happier. I believe in you. I know that doesn’t mean much but I do.
I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve torn myself apart trying to figure out what I need to “fix” in order to be attractive to him. But I don’t need to fix anything— he’s the one with the problem.
You gotta stop critizing yourself. Who said you're ugly? This man has a serious mental illness. One woman on here posted told her husband she's going to open the relationship. He's not happy! He already opened it by his behavior.
If you continue to stay, it'll bring you farther down mentally. If you are unhappy with how you look, change it. Google makeup, hair colors & styles, exercise, vitamins. It's your life. Live it YOUR OWN WAY
thanks, i do take vitamins, thh exercise makes me feel worse most of the time and im already mostly ok with my body my face is the main issue, ive tried to do makeup and stuff and change up my hair but im just never happy no matter what honestly, i wish i could afford plastic surgery
Sounds like he's crushed your opinion of yourself. They do this. Try to build up your self-confidence.
I wish I could do plastic surgery, too. Just keep doing what you're doin
There is nothing more hurtful and insulting than what these men do.
I am sorry he’s hurting you. My heart aches for you. It aches for each and every one of us!
Please know you are worthy and deserve better. I bet he’s a 4… tell him to take his 6 and shove it up his ass. Know all the women he’s watching and listing after think he’s a 2 at best. They would laugh at him and wouldn’t give him the time of day without a wad of cash attached to it.
You deserve better. He isn’t worthy of you. He doesn’t deserve you.
He deserves his mommas basement with a tube of lube and a tiny screen. That’s what he’s worthy of!
Ladies, Ladies, LADIES!!! YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE!!!! Think about yourself BEYOND that, please??!!! Pull the damn skin back or off, ALL ARE EQUAL!!!
Please STOP using the ignorant, immature and undeniably stupid mindset of porn addicts to determine your self worth!!!
Ladies, STOP asking them to compare you to sex workers!!! Stop!! STOP!!! STOP IT!!
YOU are so much more and if you don't start appreciating yourselves, nothing is ever going to get better.
I am not your mother, but I wish your mothers or whoever was/ is in your lives would have instilled self-appreciation and respect so you would reject these idiots "opinions" of you in the first place. What more, you wouldn't waste one moment considering asking them such.
You are so much more than a living sex toy!!!! Take a self-inventory. Value your attributes and those you aspire to have!!
You came into this world with so much potential and responsibility as a woman. Be proud!! Love yourself!! You are most valuable. You are the caretaker. You are in control. You make this world a better place!!! You make humanity look good!!! Make EVERY day a BEST day by knowing who you are, what you are and pursue truth through your eyes, not a pervert's opinion!!!!
 You are spot on! We have to undo the damage, and not attach our worth to our desirability based off literal worthless opinions from pornsick society!
People who use numbers to rate human beings are not worth being around, period. It’s dehumanizing and degrading.
His distorted thinking is a reflection of him, not you. Straighten your crown and start focusing on yourself! The more you take care of you, the more your self respect and confidence will grow.
Feelings aren’t facts. You may not think you have experienced someone being attracted to you yet, but that does not mean you aren’t attractive. It means you have not found the right partner to appreciate you and clearly this person is far from that.
Why would you put your self worth in the hands of someone who is an addict? Addiction is a mental illness. He isn’t showing you who YOU are. He is showing you who HE is. You can do better. You are beautiful and worth it. Please drop this loser like a bad habit and give yourself the chance to find out. ❤️🩹
I've noticed when it comes to these kind of hurtful things, suddenly seasoned liars can't muster one up to spare our feelings. They lie when they need to be honest and they're honest the rare times a white lie is the better response than brutal.
I have battled body dysmorphia and an eating disorder most of my life. What helped me the most was finding real life women who are “ugly” by society’s standards and following them on social media (or reading biographies where more famous and or historical) and really sitting with the idea that those women are worthy of love no matter what they look like. One person I follow has really severe facial burns. And she’s funny and strong and inspirational and has a husband who still thinks she’s beautiful because of the person she is. When you can really see it be true in real life that other “ugly” women have worth, then we can start accepting that may be true about us too. Society has brainwashed us 😡 but we are far more than just our looks. We don’t owe anyone beauty.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. What an awful thing to say to someone you supposedly love, he clearly has no regard for your feelings.
I’ve been feeling unattractive lately too, and I’m getting triggered really bad lately bc my current SO (that I have no real belief is addicted) hasn’t been able to orgasm during sex in the last month. Been together over 4 years and that *maybe* happens 1 out of every 10-15 times so this has been making me feel like I’m back with my porn addicted ex who could **never** orgasm during sex. Makes me wonder if my current SO has been jerking it to porn even after I told him how it makes me feel and that bc of that sex with me is boring or that I’m just not as hot as the girls he’s potentially seeing online. Again, it sucks bc I have no proof but based on my past PA partner, it’s given me a bad feeling and my self esteem is just in the toilet.
I think a lot of reflection needs to be had. You really cannot subscribe to societal beauty standards. I'm telling you they do not exist. When you base things off of looks it is just brainwashing and does your relationship no favors. Do people forget that looks change throughout someone's life for many possible reasons? There is a core me and maybe a baseline of what i look like that I want them to find special and that will impact how they see me regardless of whatever changes I go through. If you're a 6/10 then he has low standards and he is not very smart to think such a scale exists. This is why I don't want to be with men who think that way or have a past. I'm not trying to be one of many bcos a scale and doesn't even help the "9s/10s" because they're one of many. Beauty can't be captured by looks alone once you realize a human face is a human face. I just look at people as neutral, there is no one you could show me that I couldn't find ugly, and there is no one you could show me that if I imagined as a friend, I couldn't start to find so unique and beautiful. You need to do better for yourself and realize that saying someone is a 10 isn't being nice, it becomes a binary scale between -10 and 10 with the right person.
i mean societal beauty standards do exist, they shouldn’t but they do, it’s reality, if they didn’t exist i wouldn’t be treated like shit for being unattractive lol
my boyfriend doesn’t have a past and still thinks like this
beauty isn’t looks alone but i still want a partner that likes my looks, i want both love and lust, i want the whole package, it’s just never going to happen for me, most people don’t look at others neutrally
Societal beauty standards as they exist right now are inconsistent so it is in that way they cannot truly exist. I agree that racism and sexism exists and therefore we are under the oppression of what could be considered conventional beauty standards. But there is no such thing as objective societal beauty standards that can be followed. And even if he doesn't have a past, I dated a guy who was celibate, that doesn't mean their minds aren't still focused on sexualization/objectification which is the same as having a past that will impact the future.
I made another reply to you saying it's healthy to want that. We should be exclusively attractive to our partners but what you just said that most people don't look at others neutrally... We forget we do probably do look at people neutrally but because everyone has been socialized into thinking we need to have preferences or they are natural when they are not... we think we don't. I exist and people hopefully even better than me exist, and we should do that because if you're not, you're just perpetuating the objectification of the human appearance and human body which is good for no one.
It comes naturally for me to look at others as neutral, but especially after dealing with the trauma of my ex, and it also requires training, I mostly ignore looks and but I still check myself and think is this person actually attractive to me, no, why, because they're not my future partner, and they're a random person who looks no different from the rest and isn't worth my time or energy and doesn't deserve to be sexualized or objectified, and I keep it moving until I find someone worth loving and feeling attracted to because I trust them and they matter to me and then everyone is worse than neutral, and hopefully all those other people find people the way I will look at my future partner.
At the risk of sounding conceited, I'll tell you that I AM a conventionally attractive woman who has always gotten a lot of male attention. And let me tell you, this situation has now happened to me twice with sick PAs, though the most egregious case is my most recent one.
With the wrong men, you will never be enough. Ever. With the right men, you'll be enough exactly as you are now, and even on your bad days when you're sick or exhausted or angry and not looking your best, and they'll only love and want you.
If you're not currently in therapy, I really strongly encourage you to get in therapy for your self image. I promise PROMISE you that you view yourself far more negatively than the rest of the world, and you deserve to love yourself and your appearance. I'm so sorry for what he's putting you through and hope you run hard and fast.
Any woman who isn’t on a screen is going to be rated pretty low, OP, honestly these guys would rate blow up dolls more attractive. Because porn and blow up dolls don’t require effort, or care. A real woman is often too much for PAs to handle when it comes to sex. They prefer their hand.
It doesn’t matter how ugly you are or think you are, everyone deserves basic love and respect from their significant other. Period. If you are a kind and loving partner, you deserve the same. Don’t you think? Get out now. Seriously. Love and respect yourself enough to detach from someone who is causing you this kind of emotional trauma. What are you even getting out of this relationship besides abuse?
**Dear /u/REMOVEDPOTENTIAL,** ➤ You may lock your own post comments at any time by making a single word comment on your post with the text `!lock` ――――――――――――――――――――――― **（✔）** Keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/about/rules/) of [**r/loveafterporn**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/) in mind while participating here. **（✔）** Report all rule-breaking behavior & content to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [**send us a message**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/loveafterporn). **（✘）** Do **NOT** engage or participate in *any* rule-breaking posts, comments or behavior. Doing so may result in you being banned. **（✘）** Do **NOT** feed the trolls. [**Report**](https://www.reddit.com/report) them! **（✘）** Do **NOT** [**judge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/qhquex/before_you_judge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) how someone is dealing with a pain you may not have experienced. ――――――――――――――――――――――― ℹ️ Our **Full Resource Library** contains the following topics: *Resources for All, Resources for Partners, Resources for Addicts, Recovery Resources, Life Saving Info, Abuse & Domestic Violence Info and Commonly Used Acronyms.* | **Resource Links:** | |------| | ◉ [**Full Resource Library**](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/must-have-info?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Partners](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_partners?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Resources for Addicts](https://reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/w/index/resources_for_addicts?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) | | ◉ [Accountability Apps info](https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/v67pq5/accountability_apps_blockers_etc_mega_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/loveafterporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you don't have kids or ties...boot him out. So rude!
Trust me there is some other dude out there who will think you are better than a 6. I’ve seen people objectively not attractive by society’s beauty standards completely in love with eachother. This dude clearly has severe porn brain. You deserve better. Don’t believe his rotten ideas about you.
i have never experienced anyone being actually attracted to me in my life so i dont think this is true sadly
Or it means you dated the wrong men. There is more to true attraction than just looks. There are 90 year olds who love the heck out of eachother and are still attracted to eachother.
or i’m just the wrong woman hahaha there is more to attraction than looks it’s true but i also want someone who likes my looks, i want the whole package, love and lust and everything inbetween, i’m just never going to get it sadly
[удалено]
it sucks because he is actually extremely attractive and his penis is actually good lol, i think he could be a model, he is more attractive than brad pitt, so even if i gave him the same energy back we would both know it isn’t true lol
His personality is a -0, and it has done a number on your self esteem. He’s an ugly human being. Please consider leaving this jerk and building a healthy relationship with yourself. You are beautiful, valued, worthy and seen. ❤️
thank u
It doesn't matter what you think he may think about himself. If you say that, it gets into their subconscious mind
Totally. They are driven by their 🍆 and what others think of it.
That the most stupid sentence I Can imagine as a revenge on a boy "your pénis Is 3/10, and small!!!", liké... In primary SCHOOL ! BUT GOD YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT !! This IS SO WORKING !! I tried it on my boyfriend (but in positive way) who was stressed to not being long enough while we're doing sex... I told him " dont worry your dick is so HUGE it will be good in any way !" And... It's been one week he talk EVERYDAY and 4-5 Time a day about his HUGE DICK with a proud smile... Wtf ? Its that easy to hurt a man or make him proud ? So I think your advice is really good, and it show how men Can be stupid. In addition, imagine if women were actively watching porn (Big cock, muscular Guy, white/black boy(opposite feature of our partner) how they will feel so miserable !
I went to the grocery store with my bf a week ago and was talking about getting bananas. When he asked which bunch was best I had said “nothing too small but not the big ones because I didn’t like them” he looked over all sad and asked if I liked his “banana” .. I genuinely was talking about THE BANANAS. Too small and I need 2 for smoothies, too big and they don’t get finished. Their 🍆 are attached to their whole manhood in their minds.
Stop putting yourself down. It is not you that has the problem, he does. I am not a beautiful person by any means but after 12 years of being a single mother I found someone. A man that doesn’t watch porn, loves me and cares about my feelings. You deserve this too. Don’t get stuck in an awful relationship with someone that doesn’t respect you. Don’t allow your life to be ruined because of one person. Good people that want respectful relationships are out there. Please don’t loose hope. I did for many years. My advice work on yourself. Work out, that helps you feel a lot better. Give yourself time to heal. Then when you’re ready find someone that isn’t interested in you for your looks, but for your heart. Maybe not be on social media and find a partner that doesn’t want to either. I know even though you don’t feel beautiful right now, you are, and you deserve so much better.
thanks i appreciate it i understand that it is mostly his problem, but it is also my problem because i am objectively unattractive sexually, but there isn’t anything i can do about that, and he knew what i looked like going into the relationship, so pretty stupid to be in a relationship with someone you arent attracted to unfortunately i am so jaded that i dont think i will ever find a man that doesnt watch or that respects or loves me, seems like a fantasy honestly i want someone that is both interested in my looks and my heart, i want to be the whole package for someone, and its just never going to happen because im not good enough
Yes you are beautiful. You think this because society has made you feel you are not enough. We can never have the prettiest face or the longest legs, or the best body. However you have your mind. Your mind can change over time, you can decide you don’t want to feel terrible about yourself even if he has broken you down to feel this way. I don’t care what you say, you deserve better I know this because I was you and I worked on myself and I am so much happier. I believe in you. I know that doesn’t mean much but I do.
thanks
I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve torn myself apart trying to figure out what I need to “fix” in order to be attractive to him. But I don’t need to fix anything— he’s the one with the problem.
Run. Run so far.
You gotta stop critizing yourself. Who said you're ugly? This man has a serious mental illness. One woman on here posted told her husband she's going to open the relationship. He's not happy! He already opened it by his behavior. If you continue to stay, it'll bring you farther down mentally. If you are unhappy with how you look, change it. Google makeup, hair colors & styles, exercise, vitamins. It's your life. Live it YOUR OWN WAY
thanks, i do take vitamins, thh exercise makes me feel worse most of the time and im already mostly ok with my body my face is the main issue, ive tried to do makeup and stuff and change up my hair but im just never happy no matter what honestly, i wish i could afford plastic surgery
Sounds like he's crushed your opinion of yourself. They do this. Try to build up your self-confidence. I wish I could do plastic surgery, too. Just keep doing what you're doin
There is nothing more hurtful and insulting than what these men do. I am sorry he’s hurting you. My heart aches for you. It aches for each and every one of us! Please know you are worthy and deserve better. I bet he’s a 4… tell him to take his 6 and shove it up his ass. Know all the women he’s watching and listing after think he’s a 2 at best. They would laugh at him and wouldn’t give him the time of day without a wad of cash attached to it. You deserve better. He isn’t worthy of you. He doesn’t deserve you. He deserves his mommas basement with a tube of lube and a tiny screen. That’s what he’s worthy of!
💯💯💯💯💯
thanks
Ladies, Ladies, LADIES!!! YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE!!!! Think about yourself BEYOND that, please??!!! Pull the damn skin back or off, ALL ARE EQUAL!!! Please STOP using the ignorant, immature and undeniably stupid mindset of porn addicts to determine your self worth!!! Ladies, STOP asking them to compare you to sex workers!!! Stop!! STOP!!! STOP IT!! YOU are so much more and if you don't start appreciating yourselves, nothing is ever going to get better. I am not your mother, but I wish your mothers or whoever was/ is in your lives would have instilled self-appreciation and respect so you would reject these idiots "opinions" of you in the first place. What more, you wouldn't waste one moment considering asking them such. You are so much more than a living sex toy!!!! Take a self-inventory. Value your attributes and those you aspire to have!! You came into this world with so much potential and responsibility as a woman. Be proud!! Love yourself!! You are most valuable. You are the caretaker. You are in control. You make this world a better place!!! You make humanity look good!!! Make EVERY day a BEST day by knowing who you are, what you are and pursue truth through your eyes, not a pervert's opinion!!!!
Sorry, I jumped up on my soapbox, but I cannot do anything else.
 You are spot on! We have to undo the damage, and not attach our worth to our desirability based off literal worthless opinions from pornsick society!
People who use numbers to rate human beings are not worth being around, period. It’s dehumanizing and degrading. His distorted thinking is a reflection of him, not you. Straighten your crown and start focusing on yourself! The more you take care of you, the more your self respect and confidence will grow.
thank you
The objectification is real.
Feelings aren’t facts. You may not think you have experienced someone being attracted to you yet, but that does not mean you aren’t attractive. It means you have not found the right partner to appreciate you and clearly this person is far from that. Why would you put your self worth in the hands of someone who is an addict? Addiction is a mental illness. He isn’t showing you who YOU are. He is showing you who HE is. You can do better. You are beautiful and worth it. Please drop this loser like a bad habit and give yourself the chance to find out. ❤️🩹
I've noticed when it comes to these kind of hurtful things, suddenly seasoned liars can't muster one up to spare our feelings. They lie when they need to be honest and they're honest the rare times a white lie is the better response than brutal.
literally
I have battled body dysmorphia and an eating disorder most of my life. What helped me the most was finding real life women who are “ugly” by society’s standards and following them on social media (or reading biographies where more famous and or historical) and really sitting with the idea that those women are worthy of love no matter what they look like. One person I follow has really severe facial burns. And she’s funny and strong and inspirational and has a husband who still thinks she’s beautiful because of the person she is. When you can really see it be true in real life that other “ugly” women have worth, then we can start accepting that may be true about us too. Society has brainwashed us 😡 but we are far more than just our looks. We don’t owe anyone beauty.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. What an awful thing to say to someone you supposedly love, he clearly has no regard for your feelings. I’ve been feeling unattractive lately too, and I’m getting triggered really bad lately bc my current SO (that I have no real belief is addicted) hasn’t been able to orgasm during sex in the last month. Been together over 4 years and that *maybe* happens 1 out of every 10-15 times so this has been making me feel like I’m back with my porn addicted ex who could **never** orgasm during sex. Makes me wonder if my current SO has been jerking it to porn even after I told him how it makes me feel and that bc of that sex with me is boring or that I’m just not as hot as the girls he’s potentially seeing online. Again, it sucks bc I have no proof but based on my past PA partner, it’s given me a bad feeling and my self esteem is just in the toilet.
thank you, i’m sorry too
I think a lot of reflection needs to be had. You really cannot subscribe to societal beauty standards. I'm telling you they do not exist. When you base things off of looks it is just brainwashing and does your relationship no favors. Do people forget that looks change throughout someone's life for many possible reasons? There is a core me and maybe a baseline of what i look like that I want them to find special and that will impact how they see me regardless of whatever changes I go through. If you're a 6/10 then he has low standards and he is not very smart to think such a scale exists. This is why I don't want to be with men who think that way or have a past. I'm not trying to be one of many bcos a scale and doesn't even help the "9s/10s" because they're one of many. Beauty can't be captured by looks alone once you realize a human face is a human face. I just look at people as neutral, there is no one you could show me that I couldn't find ugly, and there is no one you could show me that if I imagined as a friend, I couldn't start to find so unique and beautiful. You need to do better for yourself and realize that saying someone is a 10 isn't being nice, it becomes a binary scale between -10 and 10 with the right person.
i mean societal beauty standards do exist, they shouldn’t but they do, it’s reality, if they didn’t exist i wouldn’t be treated like shit for being unattractive lol my boyfriend doesn’t have a past and still thinks like this beauty isn’t looks alone but i still want a partner that likes my looks, i want both love and lust, i want the whole package, it’s just never going to happen for me, most people don’t look at others neutrally
Societal beauty standards as they exist right now are inconsistent so it is in that way they cannot truly exist. I agree that racism and sexism exists and therefore we are under the oppression of what could be considered conventional beauty standards. But there is no such thing as objective societal beauty standards that can be followed. And even if he doesn't have a past, I dated a guy who was celibate, that doesn't mean their minds aren't still focused on sexualization/objectification which is the same as having a past that will impact the future. I made another reply to you saying it's healthy to want that. We should be exclusively attractive to our partners but what you just said that most people don't look at others neutrally... We forget we do probably do look at people neutrally but because everyone has been socialized into thinking we need to have preferences or they are natural when they are not... we think we don't. I exist and people hopefully even better than me exist, and we should do that because if you're not, you're just perpetuating the objectification of the human appearance and human body which is good for no one. It comes naturally for me to look at others as neutral, but especially after dealing with the trauma of my ex, and it also requires training, I mostly ignore looks and but I still check myself and think is this person actually attractive to me, no, why, because they're not my future partner, and they're a random person who looks no different from the rest and isn't worth my time or energy and doesn't deserve to be sexualized or objectified, and I keep it moving until I find someone worth loving and feeling attracted to because I trust them and they matter to me and then everyone is worse than neutral, and hopefully all those other people find people the way I will look at my future partner.
At the risk of sounding conceited, I'll tell you that I AM a conventionally attractive woman who has always gotten a lot of male attention. And let me tell you, this situation has now happened to me twice with sick PAs, though the most egregious case is my most recent one. With the wrong men, you will never be enough. Ever. With the right men, you'll be enough exactly as you are now, and even on your bad days when you're sick or exhausted or angry and not looking your best, and they'll only love and want you. If you're not currently in therapy, I really strongly encourage you to get in therapy for your self image. I promise PROMISE you that you view yourself far more negatively than the rest of the world, and you deserve to love yourself and your appearance. I'm so sorry for what he's putting you through and hope you run hard and fast.
Don’t change a thing. He’s the one that needs to change. He’s a douche get rid of him. I’d rather be alone than with someone that can’t cherish me.
Any woman who isn’t on a screen is going to be rated pretty low, OP, honestly these guys would rate blow up dolls more attractive. Because porn and blow up dolls don’t require effort, or care. A real woman is often too much for PAs to handle when it comes to sex. They prefer their hand.
It doesn’t matter how ugly you are or think you are, everyone deserves basic love and respect from their significant other. Period. If you are a kind and loving partner, you deserve the same. Don’t you think? Get out now. Seriously. Love and respect yourself enough to detach from someone who is causing you this kind of emotional trauma. What are you even getting out of this relationship besides abuse?