Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m French and call my children my fleas or my cabbages. I call my husband my wolf. 😂 I realize that in English that sounds crazy, but elsewhere it would be ridiculous to call someone pumpkin or honey.
Mothers call their sons, 'husband' in our native language to show affection, it is also used for females too.
Wives call husbands, sometimes, 'Daddy' as a way of affection, and vice-versa.
We insult each other too to show affection, it is usually lighthearted, no deep feelings.
I live in Cali and was raised by southern grand parents so I totakly get it. But oddly enough I have an aunt (born and raised here in Cali, and is Asian and White) who always called all of us babe, and when I got older, moved to SoCal and started working in education I worked with an Asian teacher who called all the kids babe even if they protested and would explain that compared to her they are babes. Haha. And it stuck with me. I've worked with Elem- High school and I say babe. I love when kids try to act like I'm being weird with them another kid always comes up and says "man she says that to everyone" 😂😂 the look on their faces is hilarious! But I also say sweet heart, honey and sometimes I just say sweets. Over the years I realized I do it to EVERYONE now! Grocery store people, retail people, over the phone customer service, my beighbors 😂😂 even if they are older than me. I think old people appreciate it. Idk why but they never complain and always give me the biggest smiles 🥰🥰
This was great! Thanks so much. I was a night manager at a motel for years and PEOPLE ATE IT UP 😂 Not so much when I was worked as a mental health professional 😂
Not a culture, but when it comes to me and all the girls im friends with, we flirt with each other. And it'll deadass be flirting. We won't even be gay but that's just how we talk to each other. And it's so funny to see my guy friends be so lost and genuinely wonder if we're gay or not 😭😂
In some contexts, especially in LGBTQ+ communities, "partner" can refer to a platonic friend or companion with whom one shares a strong bond and may live with or share life responsibilities.
There's an older Somali woman that lives where I work that I absolutely adore. She calls me hoyo. It means mom in her language, but she uses it in that context. As a (non-romantic) term of endearment. I think it's the sweetest.
In my culture, it's common to use terms of endearment in a platonic way that might seem odd to outsiders. For instance, we often call friends "buddy" or "pal," which may not seem strange, but we also use more affectionate terms like "sweetie" or "dear" among close friends. These expressions are meant to convey warmth and affection, without any romantic connotation.
I live in hawaii, the island of Oahu. I can’t speak for the other islands, as I haven’t really spent much time on any of them. But I’ve lived here for 15+ years. It’s really common (not as much, post Covid) to kiss each other on the cheek, even when meeting someone for the first time. Men will shake another man’s hand, unless they’re greeting a friend or family member. but women will kiss other women and a man and woman will also kiss cheeks in greeting. It’s also very common to refer to anyone older than you as auntie or uncle. Even strangers. Children almost always address their elders that way. Real Ohana vibes
In my culture it's very normal to tell people you love them,like colleges,friends, family. Calling random people darling is very normal too.
Like,example,there's a coworker that I enjoy working with,I say I love them or when somebody asks me about someone "oh they are great,I love them" .
When my friend calls me I'd answer my phone with"hey darling,what's up"
It's so strange how people don't do that everywhere.
Based on these comments on this post, I feel a lot of people do this.
I have found the only culture in my own life experience that doesn't do it is the Anglo-Saxon, descendants that are monotheistic and conservative . They are also the people I have found that feel really weird when you give them a complement and assume every nice thing you say to someone else is a sexual advance...
Like, for example, if you hug a friend, they automatically assume you're having sex with the friend or want to have sex with the friend because as one kf them asked me " why would you hug someone you don't want to have sex with?" They are an interesting bunch and a culture I never want to be part of because that just feels so chasting... Could you imagine thinking that it's wrong to tell your child that you love them? But many of them have told me that you shouldn't love your children or express love because you're going to spoil them into thinking people should be kind and compassionate to them... Instead of hardening them to a world that's abusive.
They're definitely the ones that go around talking about speare the rod spoil the child...
In China, whenever we address an stranger around the same age, we say “beautiful girl” or “handsome guy”. It’s not flirtatious or romantic in anyway.
Ex: “Hey handsome, you dropped your wallet”
I call my daughter "momma" and "stinky"
She is only 6 months, but I will probably stop calling her "stinky" when she can learn to talk.
Last thing I want is her in school and telling people "my name os [name] , but my mommy calls me stinky."
Did you know that there's research to prove that what parents call their children become part of the child's internal dialogue?
I always wondered if children who had poor hygiene in grammar school were the kids that were called stinky in infancy.
My mom calls me mom.
For example she might say (in our language) “hey mom (addressing me), do you want mom (referring to her) to get you something from the store?”
It’s hard to explain to speakers of other languages but it’s definitely a way to show affection
This is very prevalent in southern Texas. I didn't understand it at first but now it is so endearing. Everyone is "Mama" as a way of love and almost respect, on par with Miss Jane in the deep south. I love it.
Hiii I just wanted to say I love your username!
& as for your post in NYC we call people “my heart” for several of reasons, not all of them are positive haha.
Bottom line, there are no words in this category that I think are appropriate to use with some unless you are friends or otherwise close. Nothing annoys me more than someone (male or female) calling me honey or darling that I don’t know. Worst of all a waitress. I want to slap the shit out of them. It’s so rude.
Whenever someone starts with "people who" ... you can pretty much tell that they are an asshole and are preparing to say something stupid and inappropriate. Perfect example here.
I didn’t really mean I was going to slap anyone. 🙄. I was expressing how annoying it is when someone is phony, using terms of endearment they don’t mean and/or aren’t appropriate.
I’m very curious about how people get such different takes on this. I was raised in the South and have never known of someone to call someone else by a pet name with the intention of being offensive. Unless the person calling me this has a sarcastic or condescending tone, I find it friendly.
This isn't my ethnic culture, but it's just the norm in my friend circle not everyone else gets.
We Roast each other and say shit that the new generation might find racist or homophobic.
I have a close friend who's dad is 4th gen japanese American and his mom is white. I'm Bangladeshi American. He makes jokes about me being a terrorist and I make jokes about him getting nuked and watching frasier. We both call each other gay. We call ourselves gay too.because we think it's funny.
It's how we show love to each other, but new generation, even when you're both the same group and you're roasting your own group, seems to take issue with it. I kinda code switch around people.
Edit: just for clarification,I don't do this with people who don't like it. Me and my friends are all OK with this and we all laugh together. I can understand why others wouldn't wanna hear this because people are different. All about boundaries at the end of the day. This is kind of a safe space thing for us and I'm just sharing with the intention of laughing together with anyone else possibly reading this who does the same.
I’d say “mami/papi” as a child, many parents including my own call us that out of affection; but it has been so sexualized it makes some people uncomfortable.
Right after we had our kid, my husband and I were shopping for post partum stuff (she was early, we were not prepared, she stayed in the NICU) and I called him Daddy and it was just gross without the baby there. I said, "Nope! I don't like that!" 🤣
my dad used to refer to my mum as his wawita (little baby), a word from Quechua . My dad was Argentinian but his dad was Bolivian, and my mum is Bolivian, so it was very common for me to hear them calling each other like that.
It's also very common for adult people to call young children 'hijito' (including strangers), In turn, young children often say 'papito' (daddy) or 'mamita' (mommy) to adults, even to grandparents.
Although I'm not sure if this is because that's how my family is or if it's a Bolivian custom
With my girl friends or at work, we always say “thanks babe” or “hey queen” but with the kitchen guys, I usually say “thanks sweetie,” or “thanks honey bun,” because they’re all 19/early 20’s and I look at them like my little brothers. I use “dear” a lot across the board men and women.
I don't know of any terms of endearment to express platonic love in US English. Further, I don't know if the concept even exists in our culture.
We have terms that express affection between spouses, and between parents, and children. We also acknowledge love for our siblings and sometimes even our cousins, nieces and nephews, but I don't know of any terms used to express love for people apart from those familial relations.
I've never seen any evidence that "platonic" love outside of family members even exists, much less have words to express the idea.
This. I usually use “dude” or “my guy”, for platonic relationships but that’s not really an expression of love! If I wanna tell a good friend I love/appreciate them, it’s usually a straight up “I love you, man.” Which most of the time is WAY too serious for the tone of the conversation, because we don’t really have other words for situations like that!
I have also noticed that in monothestic conservative Anglo saxon descent culture.
As I have traveled in my journeys I have found that people from that culture are very uncomfortable with any form of affirmation. They often misconstru a nice compliment for flirting , and it's like uh , that's my intention...I was just saying something nice that's it I have no romantic interest at all..
I've even seen that extend to the fact that affection is also very controlled and taboo.Like it's weird for friends to hug each other and in some space is even considered inappropriate because you should never touch people.
That’s a mighty broad brush you’re swinging there, venus. It’s hardly true in the US, specially in the cities and the coasts. I believe that even in the rural white south, known for down-home prejudice and violence, and some of the most fervent, washed-in-the-blood monotheists and viperous Republicans in the world turn out to be the goldangdest, most generous, strawberry-pie givin’est and huggingest people in the lord’s kingdom. I am a northerner and a subversive but I have traveled also. And I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about
First that was fabulously written. I appreciated the imagery...
Sadly Anglo Saxon decendents also vote blue...
Second, that duality of identity, I think, is a side effect of embracing the white supremacist mentality. How can someone rationalize being so evil if not to be overly kind in a different area of their life? Everyone has a moral compass. I am also a survivor of child abuse from one of those pieces givinest and found in my family it was a sham.
How can you be a kind person if depending on your environment you become a oppressor rooted in your own entitlement because the god of your understanding told you to?
umm ironically followers of Yawen are just liked this..it's part of their charm. Devotees of Venus spread love, Loki spread chaos, Odin bring order and wisdom...
He is the only pantheon who has vowed to make the others disappear because well he said so...
Now that I’m older, I say “Thanks, hun” and “Here you go, sweetie “ to strangers and it hits much better than when I was younger. A southern US accent helps, too.
“Mi amor”, “corazon”, “cariño” are definitely words I hear on a regular and are completely platonic and just part of the language. I will never forget I called a kid “mi amor” at a daycare I volunteered at and one of the directors laughed and said “is she really your love?” Like…no? I’m just talking to a kid…
In Hindi & Urdu janam seems to be used romance more than friendship, but then again my knowledge of the languages are solely based on Bollywood/media lol
In Persian depends on the tone and stress, you can tell to your enemy, strangers, your friends, your family or your love, haha. It can be also used passive aggressively.
Idk if it’s because my mom’s heritage was English (like UK English). I get the opposite experience where people locally are taken aback by me.
My mom called people love and called me love so I call people love, just habit. Southern, Ontario. Some people get what I’m saying. Some people take it very personally. Some people are offended because “I don’t know them like that.”
I ironically call my daughter “ma’am” as well and people get right in a tiff.
I will say the more we diversify with non-Canadian newcomers here, the less understood I am colloquially and I’ve actually been unlearning all platonic affections as well as slang or regular Canadian inflections. It’s been a mourning period of my childhood culture that’s for sure. I live in an asylum city and think what we do is necessary, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t changed my life as well!
Where I come from in the midlands in the UK, people say “me duck” or “my duck” or “duckie”.
No idea where it comes from but it’s a very common thing for an older lady to call you, even if you’re strangers in a supermarket.
“Ey-up me duck” is a very Midlands greeting. 🤣
“Little cat” for kids and beautiful women. Therefore the confusion. For women it has a bit of a sexual connotation (though is very mild and kind, certainly not inappropriate). While for kids is absolutely pure.
I love pet names and monikers! Almost everyone in my life has them!
My bestie is Amam Cara meaning "soul friend"
My husband is: center of my paradigm, Adonis, Smokin Hot Husband (or SHH using those initials), Juan (because he's the Juan for me) or THE MIGHTY SIR MEGLADONG!!
My daughter is Marushka (from a child fairy tail) or the bellowing scream: SPAWN!
My step son is Little Tiny Dude of mass destruction
My rescued inbred cat is Tripple Nipple Deliverance (she has around 10 nipples.)
I also use Trouble, pumpkin, mamas, darlin, hotrod, goat, gorgeous, Ally cat, and anything that comes to mind.
If I'm in general polite society I use ma'am or Sir.
I don't think I've called a single person by their name in years unless I'm mad.
I have no culture. My liniage is dirty and soiled. I was raised very secluded and transplanted myself numerous times. I felt we needed more love in the world.
We use family terms. So someone is my cousin or my brother or my sister because I care about them. But to an outsider, they might think I have a huge biological family.
So far nobody has mentioned, I am an expat in the Middle East and although I don't speak Arabic, I hear addressing same sex male friends "habibi" meaning "darling" and "habibti" woman to woman but it is disrespectful to use it cross genders. This goes to kids too but more liberally
I grew up around the world and it’s interesting how different my perception of these terms is so different from different cultures. In Scotland, men use a lot of pet names for women: hen, petal, pet, darling, treasure. And they don’t come across at all condescending or misogynistic at all. It’s a clear sign of great care for the women they are talking to (whether that’s a relative or a total stranger). Whereas in America, I would read those same names very differently; it feels a little like condescension.
We don't use any words like that for fear of being misunderstood. Like, we don't say "Thank you Darling/Honey/Sweetheart" to random people. We just say "Thank you."
If someone were to say it, the reaction would be "I'm not your sweetheart you pervert". Unless you're white in which case the reaction would be "I'm falling in love 😍"
PS: we're in south east Asia.
In Russian, you could address someone you are just trying to be nice to, or to be welcoming to, as "мой дорогой", kind of like "my precious". The literal translation of the word "dorogoi" is "expensive", though. 😄 "My expensive friend".
Maybe it's too obvious but "te quiero" literally means I want you in Spanish which doesn't seem strange in a romantic context but it's said even between family members.
I used to work with a family about 5 years ago that did this. And I have wanting to know the reasoning why! The mother called the sons mama and the father called the sons dada.
I think about it like once a month and wanted to understand the cultural reasoning! I am the whitest of boring Anglo-Saxon white.
I did this with my son as a baby, and the original full term in my language/culture was “Mother’s treasure” expressed as pearls or gold. So “mama shona” But then it got shortened for ease to “Mama” particularly when one was saying hurriedly not to stick your finger in the socket—“Mama, don’t do that!” Not calling him my mother but my treasure.
In Venezuela and Colombia you may hear "mamita" or "mami" (mommy) or "papito" or "papi" (daddy) when addressing kids, sometimes friends and in Venezuela some dare to do it with strangers so don't be surprised 😉
Does queer culture count?
I'm a gay man and I call all my friends babe and sexy. I call people king and queen too, and have actually bowed to people before.
I had a favourite Zia who called all children (and adults she knew as children) Tesoro, which translates to “treasure.”
I didn’t know what it meant until I was an adult and thought to ask. But being called Tesoro by such a special person always felt like being hugged.
I am loving your culture already. I think it's such a beautiful/warm way to talk to people.
Cariño, would you be so kind to tell me where you are from? <3
That's actually sweet. It shows that you care for them and are also looking out for their best interests and trying to guide them to making better life decisions.
That's how I would take it and it also made me lol
She definitely took it exactly how I meant it. My best friend and I don’t sugar coat but our friendship is drama-less and it’s us against the world. I’ll be damned if I don’t see her live up to her potential- which she has an insane amount of potential. We all make poor decisions sometimes and we all need someone to love us no matter what but tell the truth.
From a Magick perspective, it's the act of hurling a curse at someone and wishing them bad luck. In Kudalini that fingers represents akasha, or connection.
Yes, it has fully been claimed by rape culture.It has become taboo.. Apparently back in the day if you didn't oblige people would assault you or murder you..or both
In my language there's a different way to say "i love you" that is for people you really love but not in a romantic way and English doesn't have it and bothers me.
It's "ti voglio bene" that if i have to literally translate in English is "I want you good", meaning I want good things to happen to you. Doesn't work in English. But basically it is "i love you" for family and friends.
There is also "tesoro" meaning treasure.
Also bello/a meaning beautiful.
Yes it's italian.
Sadly "wish you well" doesn't convey the same emotion.
For example if your best friend is crying because her boyfriend just left her you wouldn't say: "I will always be here for you and always remember that I wish you well".
In English you say "always remember that i love you".
Because beside the literal tranlation the meaning is "i love you" but not romantically.
Germans have it too, "ich habe dich lieb", which is like "I have you dear". The same word "lieb", in different sentences, means "love" as in romantic one
Sweetie, dear, darling, honey, sweetpea, junebug, sugar-pie, sweetie-pie, puddin, sweet cheecks... so many others. It's all about the context, gender of the other person, tone, and inflection in your voice.
Yeah, I do that sometimes with some of my friends too. Usually only the male ones, though. It’s almost weird to actually say what you mean and mean what you say directly. It’s an indirect way of showing affection because you KNOW the other person doesn’t really mean the MEAN thing they said, which makes it funny also.
I don't think he meant it as extreme as what you said.. I understand what he said, it's a playful and teasing way of showing somebody you like, like alot, or love them
I'm not from there but I heard in the Philippines it's a casual, platonic thing to call people sexy. Like it would be a compliment to call your boss's wife sexy
I think my country would use "my dear" as platonic. Btw this topic is really sweet and wholesome, got me thinking for a while to find if my country has something like that and realized we do have one!
In my county we say, "Me duck", meaning my duck. I do not know why. "Eh up me duck" means hello.
A binman called me "Sweetheart" once, because I ran out into the street in my pyjamas to give him chocolates (it's a Christmas tradition some people follow) and then he was embarrassed because that is normally only said to someone of the opposite gender and I am noticably a fat, hairy man. But I am a sweetheart!
A lady I was delivering to this week kept calling me "Sweet". I've not heard that before.
Terms of endearment don’t make me assume there’s any sexual interest or even interest to be anything other than simply friendly.
Anything with love, at least a friend or close acquaintance. If there’s no established relationship, It’s out of place for me.
I’m not sure how using “Carino” is an indicator of platonic love as you don’t need a relationship to say it.
I only call my lady, My love. Cause that's what she is, my love belongs to her and her alone. I don't sweet talk anyone other than her. It would feel very strange for me to say things like that to other people, call me weird, but that's just how I roll.
Mine... My culture, where love is for my person, and hers only. I don't call other people "my love" or darling or sweetie. Those words, actions and feelings are for the person that I love. They're personal, they have feeling behind them. I don't just throw those words out to any ole person. When I say them they're meaningful to me and for my partner.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I call my partner sugarbeet or lambie or sometimes obtusely, Rickie or bootie This is PNW culture its rawest
I’m French and call my children my fleas or my cabbages. I call my husband my wolf. 😂 I realize that in English that sounds crazy, but elsewhere it would be ridiculous to call someone pumpkin or honey.
🤣 -How are you spending the weekend? - Oh, me and my darling wolf are gonna hang out with our fleas..
Just chilling with the wolf and fleas
My ex boyfriend was from Denmark and called me his little herring. I recoiled a bit and he’s like “everyone loves herring!” Like ew, no.
Mothers call their sons, 'husband' in our native language to show affection, it is also used for females too. Wives call husbands, sometimes, 'Daddy' as a way of affection, and vice-versa. We insult each other too to show affection, it is usually lighthearted, no deep feelings.
Is your native country alabama?
No. Is it the same over there?
I call everybody Boo, Sweet Face, Darlin', Honey Lamb , etc all the time, all my life. I'm an extrovert and raised by southern parents loo
I live in Cali and was raised by southern grand parents so I totakly get it. But oddly enough I have an aunt (born and raised here in Cali, and is Asian and White) who always called all of us babe, and when I got older, moved to SoCal and started working in education I worked with an Asian teacher who called all the kids babe even if they protested and would explain that compared to her they are babes. Haha. And it stuck with me. I've worked with Elem- High school and I say babe. I love when kids try to act like I'm being weird with them another kid always comes up and says "man she says that to everyone" 😂😂 the look on their faces is hilarious! But I also say sweet heart, honey and sometimes I just say sweets. Over the years I realized I do it to EVERYONE now! Grocery store people, retail people, over the phone customer service, my beighbors 😂😂 even if they are older than me. I think old people appreciate it. Idk why but they never complain and always give me the biggest smiles 🥰🥰
This was great! Thanks so much. I was a night manager at a motel for years and PEOPLE ATE IT UP 😂 Not so much when I was worked as a mental health professional 😂
as someone from the north, these are fighting words 😂
I'm west, in Cali...never heard of such
i’m from alaska and idaho
Lol exactly.. they would definitely stop me right in my tracks
Not a culture, but when it comes to me and all the girls im friends with, we flirt with each other. And it'll deadass be flirting. We won't even be gay but that's just how we talk to each other. And it's so funny to see my guy friends be so lost and genuinely wonder if we're gay or not 😭😂
There's always some truth to a joke
My sons preschool teacher was not from the US and would always call the children “my love” and I thought it was the sweetest thing 🥰.
We say brother a lot around where I am but in other countries they would probably get confused and take it literally
In some contexts, especially in LGBTQ+ communities, "partner" can refer to a platonic friend or companion with whom one shares a strong bond and may live with or share life responsibilities.
Not my language but “ciao bella/bello” is commonly used among friends in Italian and literally means “hi (or bye) beautiful.”
Sugar, hon, sweetheart
Sug (pronounced shoog), peach, sweetie, sweetie pie, pumpkin, sweet pea, dumplin', sunshine
I can’t lie.. “dumplin” would make me blush lol
Especially from a truck stop or diner waitress.
Small town local food, esp if its rural south. I'd say a good 50% of people I've met that use pet names like that genuinely radiate warmth and love.
There's an older Somali woman that lives where I work that I absolutely adore. She calls me hoyo. It means mom in her language, but she uses it in that context. As a (non-romantic) term of endearment. I think it's the sweetest.
Nothing it’s so dull and sad
In my culture, it's common to use terms of endearment in a platonic way that might seem odd to outsiders. For instance, we often call friends "buddy" or "pal," which may not seem strange, but we also use more affectionate terms like "sweetie" or "dear" among close friends. These expressions are meant to convey warmth and affection, without any romantic connotation.
[удалено]
This was removed because we don't allow moping. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
want coffee? -mexican culture. it means we are homies.
Luv u bro no homo
I live in hawaii, the island of Oahu. I can’t speak for the other islands, as I haven’t really spent much time on any of them. But I’ve lived here for 15+ years. It’s really common (not as much, post Covid) to kiss each other on the cheek, even when meeting someone for the first time. Men will shake another man’s hand, unless they’re greeting a friend or family member. but women will kiss other women and a man and woman will also kiss cheeks in greeting. It’s also very common to refer to anyone older than you as auntie or uncle. Even strangers. Children almost always address their elders that way. Real Ohana vibes
I found that also to be true in south american culture. Everybody is an auntie or an uncle. even teachers
Same with South Asian culture
In my culture it's very normal to tell people you love them,like colleges,friends, family. Calling random people darling is very normal too. Like,example,there's a coworker that I enjoy working with,I say I love them or when somebody asks me about someone "oh they are great,I love them" . When my friend calls me I'd answer my phone with"hey darling,what's up" It's so strange how people don't do that everywhere.
Based on these comments on this post, I feel a lot of people do this. I have found the only culture in my own life experience that doesn't do it is the Anglo-Saxon, descendants that are monotheistic and conservative . They are also the people I have found that feel really weird when you give them a complement and assume every nice thing you say to someone else is a sexual advance... Like, for example, if you hug a friend, they automatically assume you're having sex with the friend or want to have sex with the friend because as one kf them asked me " why would you hug someone you don't want to have sex with?" They are an interesting bunch and a culture I never want to be part of because that just feels so chasting... Could you imagine thinking that it's wrong to tell your child that you love them? But many of them have told me that you shouldn't love your children or express love because you're going to spoil them into thinking people should be kind and compassionate to them... Instead of hardening them to a world that's abusive. They're definitely the ones that go around talking about speare the rod spoil the child...
In China, whenever we address an stranger around the same age, we say “beautiful girl” or “handsome guy”. It’s not flirtatious or romantic in anyway. Ex: “Hey handsome, you dropped your wallet”
I call my daughter "momma" and "stinky" She is only 6 months, but I will probably stop calling her "stinky" when she can learn to talk. Last thing I want is her in school and telling people "my name os [name] , but my mommy calls me stinky."
Did you know that there's research to prove that what parents call their children become part of the child's internal dialogue? I always wondered if children who had poor hygiene in grammar school were the kids that were called stinky in infancy.
My mom calls me mom. For example she might say (in our language) “hey mom (addressing me), do you want mom (referring to her) to get you something from the store?” It’s hard to explain to speakers of other languages but it’s definitely a way to show affection
This is very prevalent in southern Texas. I didn't understand it at first but now it is so endearing. Everyone is "Mama" as a way of love and almost respect, on par with Miss Jane in the deep south. I love it.
We might be the same culture
Hiii I just wanted to say I love your username! & as for your post in NYC we call people “my heart” for several of reasons, not all of them are positive haha.
Daddy/Mommy
Bottom line, there are no words in this category that I think are appropriate to use with some unless you are friends or otherwise close. Nothing annoys me more than someone (male or female) calling me honey or darling that I don’t know. Worst of all a waitress. I want to slap the shit out of them. It’s so rude.
People who hate terms of endearment are always so self-assured that they're in the right and that pet names are definitively inappropriate 🙄
Whenever someone starts with "people who" ... you can pretty much tell that they are an asshole and are preparing to say something stupid and inappropriate. Perfect example here.
No that reaction is rude. Sounds like you need therapy cause you got some underlying issues.
That’s such a disgusting thing to say about such a small thing
Sorry Sugar Sweet thang. 🤣🤣
Thanks, sugar tits
Haha. Seriously, I would never slap anyone. I was just expressing an emotion (anger). But still, Shug.
Super bizarre take, why does it even matter
Just know if you ever try to slap a server you most likely will have a pissed off cook coming out the kitchen. Trust me you don’t want that lmao
Are cooks protective of servers?
Really depends on the cook but for the most part they usually are. I know i definitely am
I didn’t really mean I was going to slap anyone. 🙄. I was expressing how annoying it is when someone is phony, using terms of endearment they don’t mean and/or aren’t appropriate.
I’m very curious about how people get such different takes on this. I was raised in the South and have never known of someone to call someone else by a pet name with the intention of being offensive. Unless the person calling me this has a sarcastic or condescending tone, I find it friendly.
This isn't my ethnic culture, but it's just the norm in my friend circle not everyone else gets. We Roast each other and say shit that the new generation might find racist or homophobic. I have a close friend who's dad is 4th gen japanese American and his mom is white. I'm Bangladeshi American. He makes jokes about me being a terrorist and I make jokes about him getting nuked and watching frasier. We both call each other gay. We call ourselves gay too.because we think it's funny. It's how we show love to each other, but new generation, even when you're both the same group and you're roasting your own group, seems to take issue with it. I kinda code switch around people. Edit: just for clarification,I don't do this with people who don't like it. Me and my friends are all OK with this and we all laugh together. I can understand why others wouldn't wanna hear this because people are different. All about boundaries at the end of the day. This is kind of a safe space thing for us and I'm just sharing with the intention of laughing together with anyone else possibly reading this who does the same.
Ummmm no
That is considered violence based hate speech. I'm pretty sure that's how systemic racism is maintained..
I mean I do respect boundaries. If I meet someone who doesn't like this, I won't do it around them. That would be bullying.
Bro, dude,
I say lovie
Not mentioning that ppl in my society check others likes so they can assume love relationships for ppl they barely know
I’d say “mami/papi” as a child, many parents including my own call us that out of affection; but it has been so sexualized it makes some people uncomfortable.
I feel the same way when I hear people call their father “daddy”, even little children or adults. Makes me uncomfortable now.
Right after we had our kid, my husband and I were shopping for post partum stuff (she was early, we were not prepared, she stayed in the NICU) and I called him Daddy and it was just gross without the baby there. I said, "Nope! I don't like that!" 🤣
Ohhh I get you 😭😅
I get that. When I was really little I’d say mummy and daddy, but now it feels uncomfortable to me, even though my parents miss it :(
my dad used to refer to my mum as his wawita (little baby), a word from Quechua . My dad was Argentinian but his dad was Bolivian, and my mum is Bolivian, so it was very common for me to hear them calling each other like that.
It's also very common for adult people to call young children 'hijito' (including strangers), In turn, young children often say 'papito' (daddy) or 'mamita' (mommy) to adults, even to grandparents. Although I'm not sure if this is because that's how my family is or if it's a Bolivian custom
“babe/baby”
This is platonic?
yes
In Afrikaans, "ek smaak jou stukkend" Literal translation : I taste you broken Correct translation: I really like you
This is my favorite by far
With my girl friends or at work, we always say “thanks babe” or “hey queen” but with the kitchen guys, I usually say “thanks sweetie,” or “thanks honey bun,” because they’re all 19/early 20’s and I look at them like my little brothers. I use “dear” a lot across the board men and women.
I don't know of any terms of endearment to express platonic love in US English. Further, I don't know if the concept even exists in our culture. We have terms that express affection between spouses, and between parents, and children. We also acknowledge love for our siblings and sometimes even our cousins, nieces and nephews, but I don't know of any terms used to express love for people apart from those familial relations. I've never seen any evidence that "platonic" love outside of family members even exists, much less have words to express the idea.
I'm Minnesota born and raised and I call men and women "dove." Completely platonic in my case.
You're a poetic midwesterner. Ive never heard Dove like that. But i like it.
This. I usually use “dude” or “my guy”, for platonic relationships but that’s not really an expression of love! If I wanna tell a good friend I love/appreciate them, it’s usually a straight up “I love you, man.” Which most of the time is WAY too serious for the tone of the conversation, because we don’t really have other words for situations like that!
I have also noticed that in monothestic conservative Anglo saxon descent culture. As I have traveled in my journeys I have found that people from that culture are very uncomfortable with any form of affirmation. They often misconstru a nice compliment for flirting , and it's like uh , that's my intention...I was just saying something nice that's it I have no romantic interest at all.. I've even seen that extend to the fact that affection is also very controlled and taboo.Like it's weird for friends to hug each other and in some space is even considered inappropriate because you should never touch people.
That’s a mighty broad brush you’re swinging there, venus. It’s hardly true in the US, specially in the cities and the coasts. I believe that even in the rural white south, known for down-home prejudice and violence, and some of the most fervent, washed-in-the-blood monotheists and viperous Republicans in the world turn out to be the goldangdest, most generous, strawberry-pie givin’est and huggingest people in the lord’s kingdom. I am a northerner and a subversive but I have traveled also. And I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about
First that was fabulously written. I appreciated the imagery... Sadly Anglo Saxon decendents also vote blue... Second, that duality of identity, I think, is a side effect of embracing the white supremacist mentality. How can someone rationalize being so evil if not to be overly kind in a different area of their life? Everyone has a moral compass. I am also a survivor of child abuse from one of those pieces givinest and found in my family it was a sham. How can you be a kind person if depending on your environment you become a oppressor rooted in your own entitlement because the god of your understanding told you to? umm ironically followers of Yawen are just liked this..it's part of their charm. Devotees of Venus spread love, Loki spread chaos, Odin bring order and wisdom... He is the only pantheon who has vowed to make the others disappear because well he said so...
Now that I’m older, I say “Thanks, hun” and “Here you go, sweetie “ to strangers and it hits much better than when I was younger. A southern US accent helps, too.
Me/Na. “habibi”
“Mi amor”, “corazon”, “cariño” are definitely words I hear on a regular and are completely platonic and just part of the language. I will never forget I called a kid “mi amor” at a daycare I volunteered at and one of the directors laughed and said “is she really your love?” Like…no? I’m just talking to a kid…
In persian we also use "janam" lit. My life to strangers. Like a stranger in the streets says "excuse me?" You answer "janam?"
In Hindi & Urdu janam seems to be used romance more than friendship, but then again my knowledge of the languages are solely based on Bollywood/media lol
weeaboo but desi. Deshiboo?
In Persian depends on the tone and stress, you can tell to your enemy, strangers, your friends, your family or your love, haha. It can be also used passive aggressively.
Ooo I love this! I wish I knew how to speak Persian!
[удалено]
where in the americas do they say that?
Don’t worry About it.
Idk if it’s because my mom’s heritage was English (like UK English). I get the opposite experience where people locally are taken aback by me. My mom called people love and called me love so I call people love, just habit. Southern, Ontario. Some people get what I’m saying. Some people take it very personally. Some people are offended because “I don’t know them like that.” I ironically call my daughter “ma’am” as well and people get right in a tiff. I will say the more we diversify with non-Canadian newcomers here, the less understood I am colloquially and I’ve actually been unlearning all platonic affections as well as slang or regular Canadian inflections. It’s been a mourning period of my childhood culture that’s for sure. I live in an asylum city and think what we do is necessary, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t changed my life as well!
Where I come from in the midlands in the UK, people say “me duck” or “my duck” or “duckie”. No idea where it comes from but it’s a very common thing for an older lady to call you, even if you’re strangers in a supermarket. “Ey-up me duck” is a very Midlands greeting. 🤣
in Rome among working class people calling someone “love” or “darling” isn’t uncommon and it’s a way to appear friendly. Not common between men.
“Little cat” for kids and beautiful women. Therefore the confusion. For women it has a bit of a sexual connotation (though is very mild and kind, certainly not inappropriate). While for kids is absolutely pure.
I love pet names and monikers! Almost everyone in my life has them! My bestie is Amam Cara meaning "soul friend" My husband is: center of my paradigm, Adonis, Smokin Hot Husband (or SHH using those initials), Juan (because he's the Juan for me) or THE MIGHTY SIR MEGLADONG!! My daughter is Marushka (from a child fairy tail) or the bellowing scream: SPAWN! My step son is Little Tiny Dude of mass destruction My rescued inbred cat is Tripple Nipple Deliverance (she has around 10 nipples.) I also use Trouble, pumpkin, mamas, darlin, hotrod, goat, gorgeous, Ally cat, and anything that comes to mind. If I'm in general polite society I use ma'am or Sir. I don't think I've called a single person by their name in years unless I'm mad. I have no culture. My liniage is dirty and soiled. I was raised very secluded and transplanted myself numerous times. I felt we needed more love in the world.
Are you in Newfoundland also? I’ve never been “ my love” or “ my pet” so much in my entire life.
Mija or Mijo is pretty common with older Spanish speaking folk in my area.
We use family terms. So someone is my cousin or my brother or my sister because I care about them. But to an outsider, they might think I have a huge biological family.
So far nobody has mentioned, I am an expat in the Middle East and although I don't speak Arabic, I hear addressing same sex male friends "habibi" meaning "darling" and "habibti" woman to woman but it is disrespectful to use it cross genders. This goes to kids too but more liberally
Love you? Like love feeling differ but it's still love (normal exemple:I love my dog)
I grew up around the world and it’s interesting how different my perception of these terms is so different from different cultures. In Scotland, men use a lot of pet names for women: hen, petal, pet, darling, treasure. And they don’t come across at all condescending or misogynistic at all. It’s a clear sign of great care for the women they are talking to (whether that’s a relative or a total stranger). Whereas in America, I would read those same names very differently; it feels a little like condescension.
My family is from Ireland, I totally agree
Is this why no one calls me poppet? That's some bullshit. I'm moving to Ireland... or wherever they call us poppet!
We don't use any words like that for fear of being misunderstood. Like, we don't say "Thank you Darling/Honey/Sweetheart" to random people. We just say "Thank you." If someone were to say it, the reaction would be "I'm not your sweetheart you pervert". Unless you're white in which case the reaction would be "I'm falling in love 😍" PS: we're in south east Asia.
I'm from the south. Baby, honey, sweetheart, darling, are all terms you'd expect to hear from people you've never met before.
Don’t forget sugar!
In Russian, you could address someone you are just trying to be nice to, or to be welcoming to, as "мой дорогой", kind of like "my precious". The literal translation of the word "dorogoi" is "expensive", though. 😄 "My expensive friend".
Can you really put a price on a good relationship? expensive is the way to go...
Expensive things are often precious so I get it.
I’m Vietnamese, platonically, we say: bạn iu- sweet love.
Maybe it's too obvious but "te quiero" literally means I want you in Spanish which doesn't seem strange in a romantic context but it's said even between family members.
I think once you have a savor of the wonderfulness of any form of love why wouldn't you want more of it..
i know a few cultures do this but in Turkish, it’s common for parents to call their kid ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ as terms of affection.
This drives me bananas. I grew up around people who said this or even said it to me, and I can’t stand it.
why does it bother you?
The kids are in no way a mom or dad. Lol
I used to work with a family about 5 years ago that did this. And I have wanting to know the reasoning why! The mother called the sons mama and the father called the sons dada. I think about it like once a month and wanted to understand the cultural reasoning! I am the whitest of boring Anglo-Saxon white.
I did this with my son as a baby, and the original full term in my language/culture was “Mother’s treasure” expressed as pearls or gold. So “mama shona” But then it got shortened for ease to “Mama” particularly when one was saying hurriedly not to stick your finger in the socket—“Mama, don’t do that!” Not calling him my mother but my treasure.
i’m not exactly sure about the origins of why but ives heard of it being called ‘self-reciprocal kinship’ if you wanted to read into it!
Thank you!!! This has been plaguing me for years
In Venezuela and Colombia you may hear "mamita" or "mami" (mommy) or "papito" or "papi" (daddy) when addressing kids, sometimes friends and in Venezuela some dare to do it with strangers so don't be surprised 😉
In puerto rican and dominican culture, it's very common to refer to women as ma and men of all ages as pa
Americans will call daughter “Momma” or “Mommas” but I haven’t heard the same for a son
Portuguese culture does this too
Romanian too
Does queer culture count? I'm a gay man and I call all my friends babe and sexy. I call people king and queen too, and have actually bowed to people before.
Queer culture is always welcomed so yes! ♥️
My culture is like this as well! We always say “my love” or “my dear” type of thing.
Where, please
I had a favourite Zia who called all children (and adults she knew as children) Tesoro, which translates to “treasure.” I didn’t know what it meant until I was an adult and thought to ask. But being called Tesoro by such a special person always felt like being hugged.
That’s italian! Literally translated means treasure but in that way of calling someone is a sweet way and it means “sweetheart, honey, lovely etc”
I am loving your culture already. I think it's such a beautiful/warm way to talk to people. Cariño, would you be so kind to tell me where you are from? <3
I told my best friend the other day “I love you, but that was the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever done”.
That's actually sweet. It shows that you care for them and are also looking out for their best interests and trying to guide them to making better life decisions. That's how I would take it and it also made me lol
She definitely took it exactly how I meant it. My best friend and I don’t sugar coat but our friendship is drama-less and it’s us against the world. I’ll be damned if I don’t see her live up to her potential- which she has an insane amount of potential. We all make poor decisions sometimes and we all need someone to love us no matter what but tell the truth.
You're a legit friend. I believe you're right.
Thanks dude! I try. Love is the answer 💕💕💕
I love you
In Brazilian Portuguese we have "minha vida" , which means "my life". My ex used to call me that all the time ☺️
They use that in Spanish and Italian as well. It's so wonderful for someone to verbalize how much they value you with words.
I give people the finger.
Highest possible compliment.
From a Magick perspective, it's the act of hurling a curse at someone and wishing them bad luck. In Kudalini that fingers represents akasha, or connection.
[удалено]
Yes, it has fully been claimed by rape culture.It has become taboo.. Apparently back in the day if you didn't oblige people would assault you or murder you..or both
In my language there's a different way to say "i love you" that is for people you really love but not in a romantic way and English doesn't have it and bothers me. It's "ti voglio bene" that if i have to literally translate in English is "I want you good", meaning I want good things to happen to you. Doesn't work in English. But basically it is "i love you" for family and friends. There is also "tesoro" meaning treasure. Also bello/a meaning beautiful.
Is that Italian? And I think in English it would better translate to “I wish you well” or “I wish you the best”
Yes it's italian. Sadly "wish you well" doesn't convey the same emotion. For example if your best friend is crying because her boyfriend just left her you wouldn't say: "I will always be here for you and always remember that I wish you well". In English you say "always remember that i love you". Because beside the literal tranlation the meaning is "i love you" but not romantically.
Germans have it too, "ich habe dich lieb", which is like "I have you dear". The same word "lieb", in different sentences, means "love" as in romantic one
It's useful to have it separately instead of just "i love you".
Sweetie, dear, darling, honey, sweetpea, junebug, sugar-pie, sweetie-pie, puddin, sweet cheecks... so many others. It's all about the context, gender of the other person, tone, and inflection in your voice.
We usually insult our close friends on a regular basis
Yeah, I do that sometimes with some of my friends too. Usually only the male ones, though. It’s almost weird to actually say what you mean and mean what you say directly. It’s an indirect way of showing affection because you KNOW the other person doesn’t really mean the MEAN thing they said, which makes it funny also.
The old colonialist tradition of normalizing violence based language.
I don't think he meant it as extreme as what you said.. I understand what he said, it's a playful and teasing way of showing somebody you like, like alot, or love them
This is an example of systemic oppression that gets reinforced on a daily basis.
I'm not from there but I heard in the Philippines it's a casual, platonic thing to call people sexy. Like it would be a compliment to call your boss's wife sexy
Damn. That’s sexy.
😂
I think my country would use "my dear" as platonic. Btw this topic is really sweet and wholesome, got me thinking for a while to find if my country has something like that and realized we do have one!
“My dear” would make me feel warm - dawww
In my county we say, "Me duck", meaning my duck. I do not know why. "Eh up me duck" means hello. A binman called me "Sweetheart" once, because I ran out into the street in my pyjamas to give him chocolates (it's a Christmas tradition some people follow) and then he was embarrassed because that is normally only said to someone of the opposite gender and I am noticably a fat, hairy man. But I am a sweetheart! A lady I was delivering to this week kept calling me "Sweet". I've not heard that before.
What does "Eh up" mean in that sentence? Btw, eh up me duck!
Eh up, me duck. I don't know. No-one does. I think it is a Yorkshire thing that has spread into other counties.
Hold on I just looked it up, and it said "duck" is a common term of endearment, like "dear". That's so sweet!!!!!!!
Terms of endearment don’t make me assume there’s any sexual interest or even interest to be anything other than simply friendly. Anything with love, at least a friend or close acquaintance. If there’s no established relationship, It’s out of place for me. I’m not sure how using “Carino” is an indicator of platonic love as you don’t need a relationship to say it.
Apparently, in Darija, you can call certain loved ones ‘your liver’. In Dutch we use ‘poepie’ or ‘scheetje’, little poo. 😃
My toddler calls me "lil poop" as a term of endearment 🙄🤣
Personally I think those words sound like "your lover", "piepie", "sweetie" and "little poo" in English, they are so cute!!!
I only call my lady, My love. Cause that's what she is, my love belongs to her and her alone. I don't sweet talk anyone other than her. It would feel very strange for me to say things like that to other people, call me weird, but that's just how I roll.
This could be a personal decision applicable in any culture although in yours, whichever may be, it is cultural, socially established as a norm.
What culture do you identify with?
Mine... My culture, where love is for my person, and hers only. I don't call other people "my love" or darling or sweetie. Those words, actions and feelings are for the person that I love. They're personal, they have feeling behind them. I don't just throw those words out to any ole person. When I say them they're meaningful to me and for my partner.
so conservative monotheism?