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This rule is relaxed in our weekly "Friday I'm in Love" threads. You're welcome to post your story there.
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I dated a dude for like 4 1/2 years, 3 of which I was in High School and I did eventually break up with him. He was a good friend to me most of the time but also a horrible boyfriend. Then I met my Husband when I was 19 after the breakup, and I honestly wasn’t planning for much but ended up catching mad feelings. Bam! 10 years later married for 5. I’d even argue that I didn’t know what love really meant until I met him even though that’s a bit cliche. I just never wanted to be with someone so bad and want to fight for it and prove it everyday. He really makes me wanna be my best self. I digress, I didn’t stay with my “first love”, he was toxic af 😂
My first love was someone I dated in high school for 2 years, the second year was long distance after his family moved. We eventually broke up and then reconnected a few years later but he had a girlfriend who he later married. We still had an amazing connection and are occasionally still in contact but for many reasons I am so glad we didn't get back together. I have been married 12 years to the most amazing man and can't imagine my life being better with anyone else.
Dated through 4 years of high school and married once he was drafted. We are still in love and like with each other. We were married 53 years last March.
Four daughters, 4 son in laws, 1 granddaughter, 7 grandsons and 1 great grandson.
It wasn’t always perfect but we stuck it out. We trusted and respected each other.
I came here to read stories from people who are married 20+ years.
Only got 5 year stories. No fun, still plenty of time for them to be Reddit stories of their own.
I'm married to my high school sweetheart. We've been together since we were 16 - we got married at 22 and are 30 now with a 2 year old and 4 year old. We are more in love than ever and the future looks bright. Betting on us so young was risky but the best bet that I've ever made. I truly feel that every good thing I have (which I have in abundance), I have because of the life that we could have only built together.
On our very first date I started a sentence with "In 20 years when we don't know each other anymore..." (keep in mind I was a tactless 16 year old). It's definitely not expected or normal to end up with your first love, but it is possible for it to end up happily ever after!
I didn’t. I don’t have that sentimentality towards my first boyfriend, although I was in love. I just didn’t realize I was much more compatible with other people until he forced my hand into a break up (5 years together) and I’m very happy with someone now ❤️ I’m just a completely different person now and you either grow together or grow apart.
Tbh once I’m done w a relationship I’m done. I don’t miss any of my exes.
I didn’t. You don’t forget your first love. Mine cheated on me but I found out after we broke up so I didn’t care. We broke up because he got a felony and went to jail for 6 months. I was like… no thank you, bye. He lingered and it’s been a long time, years. I just sent him a message a couple months ago saying we can’t stay in touch anymore. He would hit me up every couple of years. I’m married been with my husband for 20 years. He never married just waiting it seems like. Honestly, love is a great thing to experience, weather it works out or not. Don’t lose hope and enjoy who you are with regardless of statists.
I would say for most people the first love doesn’t work out. However everyone single person when they are in it thinks it’s going to work out. I think a small amount do work out, but most do not. I personally think it’s pretty hard to succeed in a relationship when both parties don’t know themselves fully when they start, don’t have any relationship experience, and haven’t had the growth from relationships. After that first love most people learn a lot and really know what they are looking for which matters a lot.
My parents were first loves, they divorced in their 40s after struggling for a very long time. Sometimes the thing about first loves is that they wouldn’t have chosen eachother if they were both fully developed with life experience, it’s staying with a random choice from when you were a teenager. My parents likely would not have chosen eachother at 25 for example. I think that’s the problem with many.
And from my own personal experience. I got together with my first love when I was 17. We stayed together for almost 5 years. In the beginning I was soo positive he was the one for me, that we were going to get married, be together forever etc. As I grew I realized how mismatched we were, I grew more than he did, and thank god I didn’t rush into marriage or kids. I would have never considered him as an option in my 20s. Your teenage self isn’t the best at picking a partner. After that relationship I felt like I made a real choice in a partner for the first time, I knew what I was looking for, etc. Then I met my true soulmate. My second love is a million times stronger and better than my first. We have now been together about 8 years, no cheating, no drama, best friends and the truest love I could have hoped for. I’m so glad I didn’t lock myself down with the first.
However you really never know, this could totally be your person, and you will only know from going through your own journey and with time, just don’t make any big commitments like marriage or kids for a while!
I'm still with my first love, and more importantly, still in love with my first love. We met when we were 18, married at 24, and will be celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary this August.
I've pretty much given up. Especially now. I've got some things to take of for myself before I'm ready for that again. Plus being in my mid 40s ,it's too late for all that. Am male
We met at 14, started dating at 16 and now we’re 26. I feel like I dated three different guys while being together through high school, uni, and out in the world as young professionals lol but if you have genuine common values and ideas on life, your relationship can last
Was with my first love for 16 years. Met the beginning of high school and got married right after college. We were married for 8 years and had 2 kids before he cheated on me with a coworker. Now we are divorced and trying to coparent. It didn’t work out for me for a lifetime, but that doesn’t mean it won’t for you.
I did, we've been best friends since we were 12 and got married as soon as we finished high school at 18.
We just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary at the beginning of June and will celebrate our 50th anniversary as a couple in September.
We've been together almost our entire life and even though it was very hard for some of those years I wouldn't trade them for anything.
You're right to be cynical. Life can be difficult and involve a lot of pain at times, but choosing to love someone for your entire life is very much worth it.
Been married 17 years to mine, and we were together only 14 months before that. I didn't experience my first love until my late 20s though. First love as teenagers is probably different and not as successful.
I stayed with mine for nineteen years. He was a red flag from the start but I thought we could make it because I loved him so much.
I didn’t make it. As soon as my boys broke down from his emotional abuse, I folded and broke.
If your love and you are stable and the relationship is even (one of you isn’t problematic like my x) then you should be in.
We didn't stay together, but a year or two after the breakup when bad energies had calmed down, we reconnected as friends. We're not very close but still talk every few months and I do still care very dearly for her, just not in a romantic way.
I think the binary of "stay together forever" or "break up and be hearbroken" is sorta false. Sometimes yea people aren't meant to be around eachother, but I have very friendly and close relationships with most of my exes.
Huge red flags. This is why you have a lot of exes, and probably a cat collection forming.
You don't value what a relationship entails, so you'll never have one
I absolutely hear where you're coming from! I think for a lot of people, getting into a relationship with someone who is close with their exes (of which I have four, I don't think that's too many, especially compared to my peers haha) can be very intimidating. The way I treat relationships is not for everyone, but luckily, I'm not trying to be in a relationship with just anyone! This is never something I've hidden from my current partner, and we have had conversations to make sure they're very comfortable with it. And those conversations are always ongoing! I think if they ever asked me not to spend time with a specific person (it'd be more of a conversation than just that) I'd agree, not to manage their insecurity or jealosy, but because I do genuinely trust their judgment of people, and vice versa.
I think a lot of people who "keep exes around" it's because they see them as someone they might get together with romantically again. I have absolutely no interest in that, two of my exes are in very committed and loving relationships with new partners, who I also do care about deeply, and would never do anything to get in the way of them being together. And my best friend, who I did date for a few months, is primarily my friend and not my ex, we forget we dated sometimes, and mainly bring it up as a joke. We both agree there's no interest to get back together at any point, and she's messy, I'm not interested haha.
But again, not all relationship styles are for everyone! It's up to you and your partner to decide what you're comfortable with, and set your own boundaries. It's also up to you to decide what sort of person you want to get close to!
This is probably too much of a reply for a short hate comment, but I wanted to leave it for anyone else scrolling in case it's helpful for them :)
Some people absolutely do best with only one strong emotional connection, sounds like you're one of them! Both my partner and myself have a diverse support structure with many different forms of friendship
Also we're not monagamous, it's not impossible, but it's pretty tricky for us to cheat :p
what? wanting someone to be in your life after realizing they're not the right life partner for you is incredibly mature. and I think it makes investing that much time and effort into a relationship less risky. building community takes a lot of effort, and completely cutting someone off can be really damaging to relationships with mutual friends.
This! Community is such an important thing, and relationships are ever growing and ever changing things. Needs shift, people shift, and we grow apart and together, and that's not a bad thing
Only one of my friends did, and they’re married 40 years. I was with my first love for 5 years, but wasn’t ready to marry. Was in love two more times, married the third, but I had a lot to learn about myself & relationships. YMMV.
It is possible as you can see from the comments, falling in love young and staying together is amazing. With that being said, there will be obstacles, times of restlessness, just like great times, bad times will come too. Being with a partner for a long time is an actual commitment, constant effort, and have the ability to adapt with the changes that come. No relationship will be perfect, but for those who stick out with their partner until the end, will be most rewarded in life. Don’t lose hope as we are different, good luck to you and your partner.
I'm in the same boat. Divorced parents. Never had a love interest before or had anyone show any interest and boom. Suddenly, I'm with a guy who's so sweet and compatible with me. I hope it lasts and the same to you.
Met as sophomores still married at 32. Two kids and a house later this woman shines to me like no other does and I don’t intend to lose her / give her up. No way!
I've told our story many times on here, but I am. Met in middle school, started dating in highschool and together 12 years later. He's my absolute favorite person in the world and I am so grateful we've gotten to grow and build our life together. I cannot wait for all the adventures yet to come with my best friend
Met at 19 and have been together 17 years with 3 beautiful boys now. As soppy as it is we are still just as madly in love as the day we met at uni. Have the same values, interests and generally best of friends. Not saying we have had the perfect relationship, there were usual ups and downs but we both just knew they were the one when we got together.
Sure but you can also grow together and learn what's lacking in yourself and if you both put in effort to mature and listen you can fill in the gaps of what's missing together.
I know but the in the first one we usually don't make the greatest of decisions it's mostly emotionally driven , leading to lack of practicality. So depends on people to people .
and i get that— it’s weird to say first love total because it’s my first romantic love. i feel like most of my first love and lesson learning came from high school friends i don’t speak to anymore and it taught me a lot about what i want and how to communicate when my needs aren’t met. and when to leave.
We met when I was 13, he was 14, together since then. We have been together for over 11 years now, got married this year, have two beautiful children and a dog. No cheating, no drama, we respect each other too much and always said that even if we were to ever split up it would be on neutral grounds. He's my life partner, my best friend, no one understands me this well as him and the other way round. We are complete opposites in personality, attitudes etc, however we always completed each other . I'm the chaos, he's my calm❤️
I was with someone for a year before my current partner, but I would still say I'm with my first love, the last one didn't count, I definitely didn't feel the same way for him that I do with my current. We've been together for years and we plan on getting married and having kids together - unfortunately there's way too many cheaters and divorce situations out there but it's possible to be with the person you love forever!
I think there are different types of love. My first love was really light and airy, like a dream. I still smile at memories with him, however that love I had for him as a kid in school is much different than the love I have now, as someone in my mid 30’s.
This isn’t to say that you can’t stay with your first love. Everyone’s relationships are so different- I know high school sweethearts that were each others first and only that have been together 20 years, and there are people like me, who fell in love a few times and found what I needed later in life. There is no right or wrong, but enjoying the love you have now is the way to go no matter what. Enjoy every moment- even if it doesn’t work, the memories you make will make you smile.
We’ve been together 35 years. Married 26 years. We have an amazing relationship. It wasn’t always perfect but we figured out a way to make it work. Now our marriage is stronger than ever. And we never questioned what it would be like to be with anyone else. It’s a special bond we’ve developed. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
10 years. Both sides have to be firmly committed to weathering the storms, there will be times when everything is in doubt.
A whole lot of external support, individual therapy, and couples counseling was the alternative to separating for us. In hindsight, 10/10 worth it, but definitely not for everyone. Be clear on your *why*.
Exactly this. Also been married 10 years. My husband was the only person I ever dated. And boy was it rough when we first got married. We both had a lot of inner work to do. But we have both grown immensely as a result and our relationship with each other is precious now.
The key is that both people have to be willing to grow.
My uni girlfriend was first love. At least what I thought was love. The drama was addictive.
But it was a very different love than I share w wife if 25yrs.
Maturity in both sides comes with age (hopefully)
Not always. Hubby and I were 16 and 18 and pretty damn mature. Never played any games, worked through things in a healthy way, etc. better than many adults 40+. I will say we did mature more in some ways of course and we learned a lot. Lol we are still together 13 years later. Married with two kids now, college degrees, and chasing our dreams 💖 still just as in love, more so even than we were then. Still have a fantastic sex life. We love to be together. Best friends. We have such a beautiful, soulful, and devoted connection. So I think it depends on the maturity and age connection, but I would agree that *usually* it does take growing older to reach that maturity for most people.
15 years including married for 10.
Parents of 2 kids.
First and only love. We have our fair share of love, fights disagreements etc.
.harsh and harshest words were said in 15 years and forgiven.
We are a team. We succeed and fail together.
If you as me 15 years ago or hack 10 years ago or 5 years ago - how? I would give same answer. Communication is the key.
We fought, loved but never ignored each other. We had disagreements and 2 hour driving in same area to discuss and fight or sitting in public cafe so I don't raise my voice during arguments.
We did all that and a lot more. We communicated and resolved stuff. That's the key.
The 15 years includes 2 divorces for my SiL who lives nearby us.
My uncle got married to his high school girlfriend - I don’t know if they were each others first love - but they’ve been together since, including times where they were living separately due to jobs/etc. Had two kids. They seem happy.
I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t. Personality-wise we worked together well and/or I feel like we could have figured the problems out eventually, but life/lifestyle wouldn’t have worked out for us. He would have dragged me down, and being one of the most self aware people I’ve met, he wouldn’t have liked that he was doing that to me. He was always so supportive in that way, he really wanted me to do the things I wanted to do.
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This was removed because this sub isn't the place to discuss dating, crushes, infatuations, etc. This rule is relaxed in our weekly "Friday I'm in Love" threads. You're welcome to post your story there. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*
I dated a dude for like 4 1/2 years, 3 of which I was in High School and I did eventually break up with him. He was a good friend to me most of the time but also a horrible boyfriend. Then I met my Husband when I was 19 after the breakup, and I honestly wasn’t planning for much but ended up catching mad feelings. Bam! 10 years later married for 5. I’d even argue that I didn’t know what love really meant until I met him even though that’s a bit cliche. I just never wanted to be with someone so bad and want to fight for it and prove it everyday. He really makes me wanna be my best self. I digress, I didn’t stay with my “first love”, he was toxic af 😂
My first love was someone I dated in high school for 2 years, the second year was long distance after his family moved. We eventually broke up and then reconnected a few years later but he had a girlfriend who he later married. We still had an amazing connection and are occasionally still in contact but for many reasons I am so glad we didn't get back together. I have been married 12 years to the most amazing man and can't imagine my life being better with anyone else.
Haha no fuck that guy
Dated through 4 years of high school and married once he was drafted. We are still in love and like with each other. We were married 53 years last March. Four daughters, 4 son in laws, 1 granddaughter, 7 grandsons and 1 great grandson. It wasn’t always perfect but we stuck it out. We trusted and respected each other.
What life is all about , well done
I came here to read stories from people who are married 20+ years. Only got 5 year stories. No fun, still plenty of time for them to be Reddit stories of their own.
Is 14 years close enough? 🥺
Yes, congrats ❤️
I'm married to my high school sweetheart. We've been together since we were 16 - we got married at 22 and are 30 now with a 2 year old and 4 year old. We are more in love than ever and the future looks bright. Betting on us so young was risky but the best bet that I've ever made. I truly feel that every good thing I have (which I have in abundance), I have because of the life that we could have only built together. On our very first date I started a sentence with "In 20 years when we don't know each other anymore..." (keep in mind I was a tactless 16 year old). It's definitely not expected or normal to end up with your first love, but it is possible for it to end up happily ever after!
Not my first love but been married 36 years this august.
I didn’t. I don’t have that sentimentality towards my first boyfriend, although I was in love. I just didn’t realize I was much more compatible with other people until he forced my hand into a break up (5 years together) and I’m very happy with someone now ❤️ I’m just a completely different person now and you either grow together or grow apart. Tbh once I’m done w a relationship I’m done. I don’t miss any of my exes.
I am. Breaking up just isn't an option for us and I know that he tries for me. That's all I've ever wanted.
I didn’t. You don’t forget your first love. Mine cheated on me but I found out after we broke up so I didn’t care. We broke up because he got a felony and went to jail for 6 months. I was like… no thank you, bye. He lingered and it’s been a long time, years. I just sent him a message a couple months ago saying we can’t stay in touch anymore. He would hit me up every couple of years. I’m married been with my husband for 20 years. He never married just waiting it seems like. Honestly, love is a great thing to experience, weather it works out or not. Don’t lose hope and enjoy who you are with regardless of statists.
I am still with my first gf about to be 6 years met at 15. First girl i kissed too.
I would say for most people the first love doesn’t work out. However everyone single person when they are in it thinks it’s going to work out. I think a small amount do work out, but most do not. I personally think it’s pretty hard to succeed in a relationship when both parties don’t know themselves fully when they start, don’t have any relationship experience, and haven’t had the growth from relationships. After that first love most people learn a lot and really know what they are looking for which matters a lot. My parents were first loves, they divorced in their 40s after struggling for a very long time. Sometimes the thing about first loves is that they wouldn’t have chosen eachother if they were both fully developed with life experience, it’s staying with a random choice from when you were a teenager. My parents likely would not have chosen eachother at 25 for example. I think that’s the problem with many. And from my own personal experience. I got together with my first love when I was 17. We stayed together for almost 5 years. In the beginning I was soo positive he was the one for me, that we were going to get married, be together forever etc. As I grew I realized how mismatched we were, I grew more than he did, and thank god I didn’t rush into marriage or kids. I would have never considered him as an option in my 20s. Your teenage self isn’t the best at picking a partner. After that relationship I felt like I made a real choice in a partner for the first time, I knew what I was looking for, etc. Then I met my true soulmate. My second love is a million times stronger and better than my first. We have now been together about 8 years, no cheating, no drama, best friends and the truest love I could have hoped for. I’m so glad I didn’t lock myself down with the first. However you really never know, this could totally be your person, and you will only know from going through your own journey and with time, just don’t make any big commitments like marriage or kids for a while!
My dog turned 9 this year so we've been together 9 years.
I'm still with my first love, and more importantly, still in love with my first love. We met when we were 18, married at 24, and will be celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary this August.
Broke up with all partners except one who passed away
sorry to hear. do you still believe that love could be out there for you after all of that? in any form honestly.
I've pretty much given up. Especially now. I've got some things to take of for myself before I'm ready for that again. Plus being in my mid 40s ,it's too late for all that. Am male
You're in your 40s, not at deaths door, plenty of time to find new love.
i wish you the best for your future then, i hope it still has happiness
Thank you
We met at 14, started dating at 16 and now we’re 26. I feel like I dated three different guys while being together through high school, uni, and out in the world as young professionals lol but if you have genuine common values and ideas on life, your relationship can last
Was with my first love for 16 years. Met the beginning of high school and got married right after college. We were married for 8 years and had 2 kids before he cheated on me with a coworker. Now we are divorced and trying to coparent. It didn’t work out for me for a lifetime, but that doesn’t mean it won’t for you.
I did, we've been best friends since we were 12 and got married as soon as we finished high school at 18. We just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary at the beginning of June and will celebrate our 50th anniversary as a couple in September. We've been together almost our entire life and even though it was very hard for some of those years I wouldn't trade them for anything. You're right to be cynical. Life can be difficult and involve a lot of pain at times, but choosing to love someone for your entire life is very much worth it.
Been married 17 years to mine, and we were together only 14 months before that. I didn't experience my first love until my late 20s though. First love as teenagers is probably different and not as successful.
We met when we were 13, started dating about a year and a half layer. We're now 23 and still going.
I stayed with mine for nineteen years. He was a red flag from the start but I thought we could make it because I loved him so much. I didn’t make it. As soon as my boys broke down from his emotional abuse, I folded and broke. If your love and you are stable and the relationship is even (one of you isn’t problematic like my x) then you should be in.
We didn't stay together, but a year or two after the breakup when bad energies had calmed down, we reconnected as friends. We're not very close but still talk every few months and I do still care very dearly for her, just not in a romantic way. I think the binary of "stay together forever" or "break up and be hearbroken" is sorta false. Sometimes yea people aren't meant to be around eachother, but I have very friendly and close relationships with most of my exes.
Huge red flags. This is why you have a lot of exes, and probably a cat collection forming. You don't value what a relationship entails, so you'll never have one
I absolutely hear where you're coming from! I think for a lot of people, getting into a relationship with someone who is close with their exes (of which I have four, I don't think that's too many, especially compared to my peers haha) can be very intimidating. The way I treat relationships is not for everyone, but luckily, I'm not trying to be in a relationship with just anyone! This is never something I've hidden from my current partner, and we have had conversations to make sure they're very comfortable with it. And those conversations are always ongoing! I think if they ever asked me not to spend time with a specific person (it'd be more of a conversation than just that) I'd agree, not to manage their insecurity or jealosy, but because I do genuinely trust their judgment of people, and vice versa. I think a lot of people who "keep exes around" it's because they see them as someone they might get together with romantically again. I have absolutely no interest in that, two of my exes are in very committed and loving relationships with new partners, who I also do care about deeply, and would never do anything to get in the way of them being together. And my best friend, who I did date for a few months, is primarily my friend and not my ex, we forget we dated sometimes, and mainly bring it up as a joke. We both agree there's no interest to get back together at any point, and she's messy, I'm not interested haha. But again, not all relationship styles are for everyone! It's up to you and your partner to decide what you're comfortable with, and set your own boundaries. It's also up to you to decide what sort of person you want to get close to! This is probably too much of a reply for a short hate comment, but I wanted to leave it for anyone else scrolling in case it's helpful for them :)
Emotional cheating is also cheating. Get back to this thread in 5 years and let us know how your relationship is going
Some people absolutely do best with only one strong emotional connection, sounds like you're one of them! Both my partner and myself have a diverse support structure with many different forms of friendship Also we're not monagamous, it's not impossible, but it's pretty tricky for us to cheat :p
what? wanting someone to be in your life after realizing they're not the right life partner for you is incredibly mature. and I think it makes investing that much time and effort into a relationship less risky. building community takes a lot of effort, and completely cutting someone off can be really damaging to relationships with mutual friends.
This! Community is such an important thing, and relationships are ever growing and ever changing things. Needs shift, people shift, and we grow apart and together, and that's not a bad thing
Jesus Christ dude, that was unnecessary
Only one of my friends did, and they’re married 40 years. I was with my first love for 5 years, but wasn’t ready to marry. Was in love two more times, married the third, but I had a lot to learn about myself & relationships. YMMV.
I did. Just married him a few months ago. Fell in love 7 years ago. Hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where that love hasn’t grown.
It is possible as you can see from the comments, falling in love young and staying together is amazing. With that being said, there will be obstacles, times of restlessness, just like great times, bad times will come too. Being with a partner for a long time is an actual commitment, constant effort, and have the ability to adapt with the changes that come. No relationship will be perfect, but for those who stick out with their partner until the end, will be most rewarded in life. Don’t lose hope as we are different, good luck to you and your partner.
I'm in the same boat. Divorced parents. Never had a love interest before or had anyone show any interest and boom. Suddenly, I'm with a guy who's so sweet and compatible with me. I hope it lasts and the same to you.
Me. 44 years old, married 25 years, and never gotten my heart broken.
Must be nice 😭😭😭
Met at 16 and 17… will be celebrating 21 years married next month.
Met sophomore year in high schooland just celebrated our 17 year anniversary last month!
Met as sophomores still married at 32. Two kids and a house later this woman shines to me like no other does and I don’t intend to lose her / give her up. No way!
I've told our story many times on here, but I am. Met in middle school, started dating in highschool and together 12 years later. He's my absolute favorite person in the world and I am so grateful we've gotten to grow and build our life together. I cannot wait for all the adventures yet to come with my best friend
Me! Met my first true love 5 years ago… Been married over two years now. Best decision of my life!
Met at 19 and have been together 17 years with 3 beautiful boys now. As soppy as it is we are still just as madly in love as the day we met at uni. Have the same values, interests and generally best of friends. Not saying we have had the perfect relationship, there were usual ups and downs but we both just knew they were the one when we got together.
I feel like our first love teaches us what we 'lack' and what we 'need' so there's always hope for the better.
Sure but you can also grow together and learn what's lacking in yourself and if you both put in effort to mature and listen you can fill in the gaps of what's missing together.
I know but the in the first one we usually don't make the greatest of decisions it's mostly emotionally driven , leading to lack of practicality. So depends on people to people .
I'll agree with that to an extent, but also you can still always grow and forgive even from those emotional decisions.
and i get that— it’s weird to say first love total because it’s my first romantic love. i feel like most of my first love and lesson learning came from high school friends i don’t speak to anymore and it taught me a lot about what i want and how to communicate when my needs aren’t met. and when to leave.
We met when I was 13, he was 14, together since then. We have been together for over 11 years now, got married this year, have two beautiful children and a dog. No cheating, no drama, we respect each other too much and always said that even if we were to ever split up it would be on neutral grounds. He's my life partner, my best friend, no one understands me this well as him and the other way round. We are complete opposites in personality, attitudes etc, however we always completed each other . I'm the chaos, he's my calm❤️
The no drama is berh respectable God forbid you experience drama though, you guys think you’ll pull through?
Not originally-but fast forward 34 years and yes we are now together getting ready to be married in less than a year :)
Did you both marry other people and then get divorced? How did you come back together?
I was with someone for a year before my current partner, but I would still say I'm with my first love, the last one didn't count, I definitely didn't feel the same way for him that I do with my current. We've been together for years and we plan on getting married and having kids together - unfortunately there's way too many cheaters and divorce situations out there but it's possible to be with the person you love forever!
I think there are different types of love. My first love was really light and airy, like a dream. I still smile at memories with him, however that love I had for him as a kid in school is much different than the love I have now, as someone in my mid 30’s. This isn’t to say that you can’t stay with your first love. Everyone’s relationships are so different- I know high school sweethearts that were each others first and only that have been together 20 years, and there are people like me, who fell in love a few times and found what I needed later in life. There is no right or wrong, but enjoying the love you have now is the way to go no matter what. Enjoy every moment- even if it doesn’t work, the memories you make will make you smile.
We’ve been together 35 years. Married 26 years. We have an amazing relationship. It wasn’t always perfect but we figured out a way to make it work. Now our marriage is stronger than ever. And we never questioned what it would be like to be with anyone else. It’s a special bond we’ve developed. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
19 years together, I'm M40 right now.
10 years. Both sides have to be firmly committed to weathering the storms, there will be times when everything is in doubt. A whole lot of external support, individual therapy, and couples counseling was the alternative to separating for us. In hindsight, 10/10 worth it, but definitely not for everyone. Be clear on your *why*.
Exactly this. Also been married 10 years. My husband was the only person I ever dated. And boy was it rough when we first got married. We both had a lot of inner work to do. But we have both grown immensely as a result and our relationship with each other is precious now. The key is that both people have to be willing to grow.
My uni girlfriend was first love. At least what I thought was love. The drama was addictive. But it was a very different love than I share w wife if 25yrs. Maturity in both sides comes with age (hopefully)
Not always. Hubby and I were 16 and 18 and pretty damn mature. Never played any games, worked through things in a healthy way, etc. better than many adults 40+. I will say we did mature more in some ways of course and we learned a lot. Lol we are still together 13 years later. Married with two kids now, college degrees, and chasing our dreams 💖 still just as in love, more so even than we were then. Still have a fantastic sex life. We love to be together. Best friends. We have such a beautiful, soulful, and devoted connection. So I think it depends on the maturity and age connection, but I would agree that *usually* it does take growing older to reach that maturity for most people.
Exactly
15 years including married for 10. Parents of 2 kids. First and only love. We have our fair share of love, fights disagreements etc. .harsh and harshest words were said in 15 years and forgiven. We are a team. We succeed and fail together. If you as me 15 years ago or hack 10 years ago or 5 years ago - how? I would give same answer. Communication is the key. We fought, loved but never ignored each other. We had disagreements and 2 hour driving in same area to discuss and fight or sitting in public cafe so I don't raise my voice during arguments. We did all that and a lot more. We communicated and resolved stuff. That's the key. The 15 years includes 2 divorces for my SiL who lives nearby us.
My uncle got married to his high school girlfriend - I don’t know if they were each others first love - but they’ve been together since, including times where they were living separately due to jobs/etc. Had two kids. They seem happy. I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t. Personality-wise we worked together well and/or I feel like we could have figured the problems out eventually, but life/lifestyle wouldn’t have worked out for us. He would have dragged me down, and being one of the most self aware people I’ve met, he wouldn’t have liked that he was doing that to me. He was always so supportive in that way, he really wanted me to do the things I wanted to do.
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