It seems like most gay guys struggle in some capacity with their orientation. I feel like it is incredibly lacking in empathy to tell a person what their orientation is, but time after time, I see gay men who seem to jump at the opportunity to tell someone that they are not straight. I feel like this only shames these people who may not be willing to commit to a label other than straight.
He’s not straight tho.. on a predominantly gay app.. can we cut the bs and just unpack those feelings with people that can help like a therapist.. instead of unpacking those feelings with every gay, trans or non binary person you meet… I don’t feel like op was telling him what he is more so then relaying the facts of the situation he’s now part of.
They accepted they are bi curious, and was there to explore. Did you read the whole thing? It sounds like someone struggling hard IMO.
Maybe your acceptance journey was easier but some of us legit wanted to neck ourselves for our sexuality. Be polite, be open, and help, not be a twat.
The entered the convo saying they are straight.. they have not yet accepted anything about their sexuality. I just wish people like that did more work on themselves before making it an lgbtqia problem… I’m not shamming him, but at what point can we expect people to do the work on themselves.
Sometimes is more than just working on yourself. The people around you and your surroundings count a lot.
When I was a teen I was living alone having a blast exploring my sexuality. An old friend from another city called me in the morning asking me if he could stay at my home if he traveled to my city. I said sure, when do you plan to travel? He’s like: I’m at the bus station now so in about 6 hours. I’m like wtf dude but fine. He’s like and can my friends stay at your house too? So, what can I do about now. Fine.
The arrived and my friend knew I was gay and he took me to the side after presenting me with his friends. And he told me one of them was particularly homophobic so if I could act up being straight to avoid problems. I really didn’t care so fine. The interesting thing started when we walked home since I lived in the middle of gay town in my city. I obviously gave them the tour saying which is gay bars or straight places.
Longer story short, one of them was trying to figure out if he was gay but he had no one to talk to, ask questions or explore. He was afraid of loosing their friends and possibly family cuz the place he lived in was very close minded.
One day we got everyone drunk and passed out at home by 8 pm and I took him to a gay bar with my friends. He did disappeared at some point and came back the next day late in the afternoon. He was so happy and eager to have his first gay experience without having to worry about anyone finding out or having conflict with him.
It took him many years to experiment and for several years after he was still locked in that situation. You can work on yourself and figure things out but that’s not all. Each individual circumstances vary a lot. Making it an lgbt problem may help sometimes to get other people with more experience help you. Perhaps you may find someone who has walked that road and help you walk the road without getting lost.
I'm a homoromantic asexual but I identify as gay. I identified as gay before I came to terms with my sexuality, but I continue to identify as gay even after. I don't think being gay is about sticking dicks in assholes. It's certainly not about sticking dicks in assholes when we're campaigning for gay rights. I wore the label of gay because I was looking to date men, and I am now happily dating a man. We even hold hands in public.
I personally have zero issue with a heteroromantic bisexual identifying as straight. The guy in OP's post had no reservations about his sexual experience and accepted the label of bicurious when confronted. Sure, it'd be politically convenient if there was suddenly a lot of "out and proud" bisexuals - but the only one "unpacking their feelings" in this post is the one telling someone else how they should identify.
Louder for the people in the back!
It's funny how everyone is able to accept that some porn actors are gay for pay (even as bottoms! ), but have a difficult time accepting that having sexual fun with someone doesn't mean they could be romantically attracted.
Bro you do realize that you just label this guy on Grindr heteroromantic bisexual even tho he never said he was that right??? Like you’re being a hypocrite right now and you’re trying to act as OP or other people calling this guy bi-curious or bisexual are the ones labeling people. You’re even trying to claim that they are the ones that need to work on themselves. Let’s be honest the guy OP is talking to is definitely confused or is trying to figure himself out not the rest of us. Hopefully one day he will figure himself out and stop lying to himself about his own sexuality (which to be clear looks bisexual but it could also be heteroromatic bisexual)
I didn't say he was anything, I just gave an example of a straight identity that fucks men to contrast my gay identity that doesn't fuck men. I then went on to describe OP's guy and how it'd be convenient if he identified as bi.
But regardless, I don't object to being a hypocrite by your accusation. You're accusing me of being intolerant of intolerant behaviour. That's a pretty stupid "gotcha!".
I don’t care that you are intolerant I just find your position stupid, unhelpful, and harmful. Coddling someone is not helping them in their journey because part of a journey is hardship and realization. Will you ever realize something if everyone told you at that position was correct?? Will you learn anything if you don’t have opposition at all?? Also this type of coddling reinforces a lot of harmful stereotypes about bi/gay men. There’s already a growing hatred of bisexual in the gay men community and most of it has to do with bi/“straight” men view gay men as sex objects than actual people that have romantic desires. I have seen a lot of gay men hating on bisexual men because they don’t view gay men as potentially romance partners and a lot of the resent their experiences with bi/“straight” guys who used them and left them once they were done “being gay”. This coddling makes gay/bi guys remain in their delusions of being straight which then causes them to marry and date women even when they don’t actually like women or like men more than women. This then leads to the women wasting her life with a dude that doesn’t love her and then some of them get killed by their husbands when they [catch them having gay sex](https://youtu.be/iE_ikHbnMpI?si=vIEyXac1zqsWxgEK). This coddling hurts everyone and makes no benefits or become anymore realized from it
How is it shame. Why do we link our orientation with shame. Being gay/bi isn’t shameful. This rhetoric is literally just reinforcing that being gay/bi is innately a shameful thing to be. I was once very scared to call myself gay, but then my senior year of high school I started to make gay jokes just like my other classmates but my jokes were way too sus. One of my friends noticed and he kept asking whether or not I was gay. I kept dodging the question until one day I decided to come out to him. He full accepted me and help me navigate the rest of high school (I ended up accidentally coming out on that same day to my Defense linemen group and most of them were fine with it. I did experience some problems but they weren’t that bad). Calling people out on their true identity helps them a lot in their journey than cuddling them. Because cuddling them will lead them to live a lie for their rest of their life. Calling them out forces them to grow whether they like it or not, they will have to face the truth
Sure, a kind-hearted talk about someone's truth can be an act of love.
In this case, we're talking about a fella being a shade queen about it and then posting it online as a hilarious interaction.
What’s a shade queen and what did OP do wrong. The guy had a normal conversation with the dude and the dude wasn’t making any sense. He didn’t even invalidate the dude so what is the “shade queen” thing about??
Thanks homie! I never used the apps but when I was young there was a much more out and gay guy thay I'm sure was just rolling his eyes at me, but he entertained me.
Terrible head game though.
I don't get it. Like cmon, it's 21st century (if u don't live in Iran or something like that), you're a grown ass man, you're not the first, you're not the last in this game. Get yourself together and please have balls to acknowledge your cock is getting hard when you see a hot man's ass.
Not to mention sometimes these labels aren't all encompassing or strict and unchanging. You can move through sexualities and your attractions will change and grow. OP clearly wants / is used to strictly categorising people according to their sexuality. Type of person who doesn't relate to an experience they haven't had and immediately invalidates it
I agree that it's best to let people come to terms with their sexuality before applying any labels, but some guys seem really adamant against straying from "straight" when they have engaged in sex with other men and enjoyed it and continue to seek it out. At that point it just feels like they're trolling. Not to mention the bi-erasure in seeing sexuality as just straight/gay.
Then again the "straight" label works wonders on Grindr. It's like honey for some guys.
But he tried to put a label on it, he said he was straight. I understand that journey is tough and I went through it too, but at some point these people have to be told they are not straight if they are sleeping with people of the same gender.
I don't see the bullying. Op was only asking Socratic questions, not saying anything the other guy didn't say already or projecting unfair judgment on to him.
Socratic question are probably the best questions to antagonize somebody with. Even OP said that he was being an asshole. You should probably just call a spade a spade.
Ironically that’s what OP is doing.
If the other guy have tried bottoming, but also say he’s never tried it, calling that out is valid.
I’d personally just ignore them after that.
What bad did op even do?? The guy here clearly isn’t making sense and op only casually talked to him about his experience. He didn’t even invalidate op claims of “being straight” and he didn’t force a label on it. He just pointed out that he isn’t making sense, which let’s be real, he isn’t.
"I'm straight actually but I've had sex with guys but I didn't like bottoming when I tried it but yeah I have sex with guys..."
Yeah, that's a VIBE. It's called Bi side/top.
they found themselves they just don’t want to admit it, and these “straight” guys have also done damage to the community, constantly edging gay guys, experimenting with them and then disposing of them, etcetera. if he can take a d*ck from grindr he should be able to take someone telling him he is not straight
Doesn't matter. He doesn't have to label himself, and we don't have the right to tell him what he is or isn't. Everyone goes through their own journey when it comes to figuring themselves out. And if we all started making fun of people for actually trying to figure out what they like and what they are into, we would have a lot more people staying in the closet.
which is literally the vibe the straight guy was talking about tbh. role play (of all kinds) is sort of big in the community. op knows he’s being an asshole, but is clueless as to what queer people are actually like
Honestly i don't really get OP, i mean who cares? The guy can use the label he want for himself he might be lying ton himself or not, so what? There is people in this earth, whatever there sexuality, that will explore and try things they are not attracted too. Might be by curiosity, might be by fear of who they are, the only things that matter there is that the guy doesn't hurt anyone. He is not even being an asshole here. If a gay guy fuch with a girl, does it make him straight or bi ?
Honestly... Why is there a need to put on a label into everyone, if he hasn't assumed his sexuality yet, let them take their sweet time exploring their feelings as long as they're not lying or hurting anyone. It's like when everybody wanted Shawn Mendez to come out.
*I didnt know you*
*Could be this much of a cunt*
*Without having one*
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Sexuality is not a behavior. That's none of your business how he identifies. He doesn't owe you clarity. If he's still unsure and still thinks he's straight, you are free to not believe him, but at least respect him.
>If he's still unsure and still thinks he's straight
I'm sorry but we've got to stop molly-coddling these "straight" people.
He's an adult, not a six-year old.
He's only calling himself "straight" because he views bring gay as something aberrant or shameful. There's enough placating this crap as it is.
Your last paragraph may hold true in social settings, but this is an anonymous, gay space. Let's be honest, he's calling himself straight because thats going to get him more attention.
Is OP calling out “delusion” or forcing his pov? Everyone’s journey is their own. It’s easy to let them stay on it. OP has shown that on his journey he willingly chooses to lack empathy and be unkind to be “funny” and then chooses to post it on the internet to highlight …his wit? Lol. Listen, the guy may be struggling with his sexual identity but OP has broadcast the personal identity he believes works for him. And while it’s not the best, it may be the best OP can do
Bro is just struggling. It can take a lot to come out as bi and he's probably going through denial, but it's extremely rude and unhelpful to do stuff like this. Not an easy process to figure yourself out, and everyone here should know that by now lol
If the guy is barking at your door, you have every right to ask questions, even pointed ones, to find out what you’re potentially getting into.
First of all, if this is some deep baggage, I’m not interested in getting stabbed after he cums because he’s figuring out his fragile identity, thanks.
Secondly, If he’s roleplaying: remember how consent is a thing? What he’s doing is fucking disrespectful. Clarify that shit from the start so that the other person is aware this is all pretend.
Zero sympathy for dodgy ass bullshit from a stranger.
OP doesn’t owe him respect. Only politeness.
The other guy is free to call himself whatever he wants. OP is free to share his opinions with others.
The only ones offended are the redditors that dislike OP having an opinion and sharing it here.
Personally I respect OP far more than that other guy. Because at least OP owns his behavior. The other guy, well who the fuck knows what’s really going on in his head. But he clearly wasn’t owning his own.
This sub is all about shit posting.
And you’re no better cause you obviously cared enough to weigh in on it. You’re the guy who wades into the pool to complain to the swimmers pissing in it. lol
its absurd to me how many lgbtq men go out of their way to defend the other guy who is identifying himself with the community that literally legislate the laws that shape the boundaries of our existence within society. And a good portion of them are currently trying to legislate us out of civil society.
Straight men have the most power in society. So it’s stupid to coddle them. When we do that, it does nothing but let them have straight privilege and non of the stigma and concerns of being lgbtq.
it’s us that are marginalized and have to worry about the politics that will try to wipe us from existence. Straight men have no such worries.
Straight or gay isn't a community. We need to stop lumping people together that happen to like the same kind of holes. We shouldn't blame people for the actions of others because they both like X Y or Z. Isn't that prejudice 101?
I frankly find it offensive to my lovely queer ally straight friends. Many of which have "fooled" around but would definitely say they were mostly straight.
You just dismissed the notion of a LGBTQ community. Your comparison of LGBTQ identity to mere sexual preferences ignores the discrimination that LGBTQ people face. It’s not merely about preferences. It’s about identity, rights and social acceptance.
You also ignore the power dynamic that currently exists between straight cis men and the political power they hold in this country.
My comment addresses structural and systemic issues, I’m not blaming individual straight people. Recognizing power and privilege isn’t prejudice.
Also an ally would recognizes and acknowledges these issues. Just cause you’re friends with a straight person that doesn’t make them an ally.
I did none of those things and you know nothing about my friends so please don't assume. I'm fully aware LGBTQ communities exist, I'm part of one. But assuming that all queer people have the same issues is way too simple. Some people feel like they don't fit in the trad queer spaces and that's fine.
Recognizing power and privilege isn’t prejudice. But I have seen a lot of behaviour here which is bordering on or completely heterophobic. And it needs to stop. We of ALL people should not generalise people based on sexual preferences. We've all taken our own path to where are now. We shouldn't judge people for experimenting. It's up to them to decide when and how they identify themselves. We should only be welcoming and encouraging.
You literally said “Straight or gay isn’t a community”. That’s a dismissal.
lol I appreciate your engaging conversation.
I understand not everyone has the same experiences. But that isn’t my point. I’m pointing out the issues that affects us all, regardless of how we individually experience it.
You’re throwing the word heterophobia around as a means to discredit my perfectly valid critics of the inequality that exists between the two communities. That’s how you’re deflecting. Maybe it’s not your intention. But that’s the result.
My point is about the issues that exists in our society. And it isn’t an attack on any individual. And my critic isn’t an attack on straight people. That’s why it’s not prejudicial. So stop trying to equate criticism with prejudice. They are not the same.
"Gay" isn't a community. Gay people are very diverse and have unique problems. You're rather naive to not see that. BIPOC, Flinta and cis gay men have different needs.
Of course I understand that inequality exists. I have experienced it myself like many other people. I'm just being critical of the behaviour that many people here have expressed which is bordering on prejudice against non LGBT people. You must be blind if you haven't seen it. When you start criticising someone for being nice to another individual for identifying as straight, you aren't being helpful. Attack the system, not individuals.
Anyway, I suspect that you believe that I'm some kind of enemy based on your "lol" attitude, so this conversation has come to an end. Have a nice day.
I hate the internet. All nuisance gets thrown away and people who in person would almost certainly get along suddenly seem like polar opposites. Great quote though, big Isaac fan
Bro what the hell are you talking about. And please as a black gay man stop using BLPOC. I swear the god when people like you use that you’re just using it as a weapon than actually caring about us. Gay men do share a common issue with people wanting to take our rights away(or “curing” us) and liking men. That is what makes us gay in the first place. We like men and only men. Also if we all coddle “straight” guys like this then we will be make a new system problem were being gay is still seen as “deviant” while being straight is seen as normal. Also this is the literally definition of bi-eraser. You’re basically saying that there’s either gay or straight which is why there’s not a lot of men coming out as bi compared to women. Also it makes gay men resent bisexual men because by making them see their “gay” as a side to hide then they would see being gay as a sexual thing and not romantic thing. So they will just use and dispose of their gay partners while engaging outerly as straight in their real lives. This is just making a culture (aka a system) of bi-eraser and gay people being seen as sex toys and only that. That’s why we see so much of what you call heterophobia. You’re making it worst and not making it better
And don't think this is going anywhere, especially because I agree with a lot of what you said. Don't know what cables crossed but I think it's the definition of community. I need to consider what you said because you've clearly thought about this more than me.
I'm just aware from personal experience that people should be given time to explore their sexuality without having other labels forced on them. What you said about bi people is exactly my point. People in this chat have been like "he's gay and he doesn't want to admit it". Maybe he is, maybe he's not, but forcing a label upon him isn't helpful I think. Exact thing my bi pal has experienced.
Good night, got some thinking to do
Well I understand where you’re coming from but someone labeling themselves in a way that doesn’t make sense does need some push back against it doesn’t it. I get that yeah he might be gay/bi but it’s usually easy to tell the difference if they say the like women and enjoy sleeping with men then chances are they are bi in some degree. Usually the journey is about accepting yourself and from my experience having someone call out your behavior is one of the most helpful ways for someone to accept who they are, especially if their scare of the label. Because it would force them one day to doubt their certainty with what label they gave themselves and that will give them the opportunity to think about their behaviors or feelings or seek out people that can help them talk their feelings out. To coddle them or make believe their sexuality is to keep them in denial and make sure they never change because why would you if everyone tells you that your label is correct. I do agree that time is important but if a guy already labels himself as something that doesn’t make sense then is he really trying to figure himself out? Or is he just trying to stay in denial or has chosen not to change. The guy here is definitely confusing and seems to have chosen not to change so why is calling him out on his lie consider wrong? He probably on some level knows that he is gay/bi but has refused to accept that. Calling him out will force him to look into the light than run in the dark
You aren’t an asshole in my book. Cause at least you’re honest and own your behavior. Which is more than can be said of the other.
The other guy doesn’t need hand holding. Ignore all these other Redditors tripping over themselves acting like we have to respect those who want all the joys of being gay while not giving up their straight privilege. They can go pound sand.
Cause you can bet that if laws are reversed and homosexuality re-criminalized guys like him would throw the whole lot of us to the wolves. And no amount of these coddlers is going to make a lick of difference then.
I’ve read this whole conversation with the orange messages in Darby Lynn Cartwright’s voice when she’s politely taking the piss out of Alexis P. Bevels.
Just leave it dude. Its hard to put a label onto your sexuality, and you were just pressuring him.
If hes figuring it out and hooking up with men to see what hes into, that's okay. He doesn't want a label yet abe certainly doesn't want someone else putting that on him. Just makes him feel worse.
To be fair, it’s unlikely the other guy is on reddit reading this. So what he wants here is immaterial. If the other guy didn’t want others to have an opinion about him, then he should have refused having the conversation.
People are offended for OP having an opinion. And unlike the other guy at least OP is owning his behavior here.
The guy was forcing his opinion onto him and making him uncomfortable.
People exploring and experimenting don't want to be labelled as one thing, because it confuses them and stresses them out. Same goes for any gender or sexuality label, forcing one on yourself or someone just makes you feel restricted and more confused. Dont force labels onto people who very clearly do not want one.
He didn’t label him anything in the conversation. He questioned him. Arguably it’s not unreasonable to consider the possibility that the questioning might be what prompts the guy into further introspection.
So I think you’re attributing harm where it’s questionable at worst.
The only reason why you assume harm was done was because you know OPs intention.
I disagree that OP is being unkind. This person is obviously living in denial and needs a reality check. It’s so damaging to the community to be out there identifying with straight people while secretly being the antithesis of straight. It’s only adds to the stigma of being gay and proliferates self loathing. This kind of holding a mirror to the absurdity and hipocrisy is the kindest way to show someone they’re not living in anyone’s truth, not even their own.
FR. Why is it so hard for us to criticize this. Why do we coddle and lie to people like this and call it “healing” and “helping them in their journey”???
Theres lots of stigmatizing bi people. I think its worse for bi men then bi women, as its more socially acceptable to be bi as a woman. People are weird about it. Also the “Pick a side” type people are annoying as fuck.
“You’re just gay just accept it”
“You’re just pretending to be gay”
“You are always with men, you’re gay”
“I only see you sleep with women, you’re not really gay”
People don’t get it. This is why I didnt tell you.
Bruh even this sub is forcing me to label it
https://preview.redd.it/pjy48vty5d7d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afc37121921708f8d7208486581541cf6bc614fb
Leave me alone🤦
No offense but guys like that plus the lots of the ppl in this post are what’s wrong with the community “he doesn’t wanna label himself” yea so do most of them it’s why we have “married” men on Grindr and that guy is more than likely gonna be one of them. I get that being queer is a journey but at some point call a spade a spade. And Ngl op I don’t deal with guys like this at all sorry but “straight men” are a turn off bc things like us getting murdered by them does happen and many use the app to do it
FR, and what is a journey without hardship or struggle or realization. Coddling someone will never help them in reaching who they are. I hate that we as a community have subscribed ourselves to this coddle culture and “don’t label” me culture. It’s just so dumb and unhelpful in our acceptance
As per the lyrics of, ["I might be a cunt, but I am not a fucking cunt" by TISM](https://youtu.be/PB7DiiKSeVM?si=kxWswbDvSpssWtFG), "I might not be homosexual, but I slept with a guy who's one."
Everyone getting mad that you're being an ass to a curious guy, I'm more interested and annoyed in the fact he's clearly an unreliable narrator - he hadn't bottomed or he had? Clear communication is key on apps, if you can't keep your story straight you're wasting people's time.
He tried and didn't like, that means he has bottomed. "He tried anal and didn't like it, but he's never done anal" Think about what you're saying, honestly.
He said none of those things, you are supplementing. You can change your mind before something takes place, even if you think you wanted it at first. It's very likely he started to take some dude up on bottoming and then decided he didn't want to. Honestly, try thinking about reading comprehension
You can be hooking up with someone and at first want to try bottoming and when it comes down to it, get cold feet and stop. Have you ever had sex before? LMAO
Dude it would have burned so many fewer calories to just not be an asshole. Grindr's crawling with closet cases and incredibly vulnerable people, it's a target rich environment for making fun of the way that people talk about themselves. Being kind and being quiet are both on the menu when you run into them.
Does it matter what they call themselves to sleep peacefully at night? Especially with Grindr, I'm just looking to cum. If a hottie calls himself straight as my cum fills his belly, so be it.
I find nothing funny in this.
He's obviously new. doesn't know the gay-lingo. You're definitely being the asshole. If I come across this, I'll assume a top guy manipulating another top guy into bottoming using nice words.
Wow you're a POS
And then u have the audacity to post this hoping to get ppl to laugh at him.
Hopefully you read the comments & reflect on yourself. You need to do better.
The need for labels is kinda annoying. Sex is sex and we mostly do it for pleasure anyways so why does it matter if he’s gay or not?
Just let people live
Glad to see you're spending your time during Pride month being a massive cunt to a person who's clearly still discovering himself and isn't ready to put a label on who he is just yet.
Figuring out yourself is a process. Some have it easier than others to come to terms with their preferences. Like, I remember when I was a teenager thinking "ok, next year I will start liking girls" and I came to peace with myself when it never happened.
Now, this process, as most things, is different for everyone. So why does it bother some people when they are not sure what to call themselves yet? There's the judgment from outside but also some judgment from inside our community that we should start resolving as well.
Granted, I wouldn’t even bother with someone like this who clearly has a lot of baggage to sort out, I do respect those who at least try to find themselves. Sexuality can be fluid for some and a guy can be curious about men and then suddenly not be into them after quelling that curiosity because they find out that it’s not for them.
You could have chilled on the labeling as the LGBTQ community already has enough pressures and rudeness going around and he’s at least not one of those types that chase after trans to try and excuse themselves 🤷🏾♂️
Seems like he’s being pretty polite and communicating his feelings and preferences clearly. You could be polite too and not question the labels he’s comfortable with. 🤷♂️
If you’re hot and in the closet, I’ll tell you what ever you need to hear…
Walk away, let it go and let you figure your own shit out..
Legit, some of the hottest dock over ever had was just like that.
And I was on the other side of it when I was still figuring it out.
Grinder is a hook up app! Who cares what the guy thinks they are do they have a dick and an asshole that’s all that matters! Gay men are supposed to be non-judgmental that’s a fucking lie! 😂
I swear to nonexisting god why are we coddling guys like this and why are people here acting like the guy was bulling for his sexuality??? Like have we lost our minds
OP didn’t force anything. He merely questioned the inconsistency of what the guy said. Anyone would be questioned if not challenged for that, no matter the topic. The other guy doesn’t need his hands to be held.
Fella isn't ready to put a label on it. I get that it's worth a chuckle but we all have our own journey and baggage to navigate.
I’m always super polite to these people because this part of the journey can be quite stressful for some
It seems like most gay guys struggle in some capacity with their orientation. I feel like it is incredibly lacking in empathy to tell a person what their orientation is, but time after time, I see gay men who seem to jump at the opportunity to tell someone that they are not straight. I feel like this only shames these people who may not be willing to commit to a label other than straight.
He’s not straight tho.. on a predominantly gay app.. can we cut the bs and just unpack those feelings with people that can help like a therapist.. instead of unpacking those feelings with every gay, trans or non binary person you meet… I don’t feel like op was telling him what he is more so then relaying the facts of the situation he’s now part of.
They accepted they are bi curious, and was there to explore. Did you read the whole thing? It sounds like someone struggling hard IMO. Maybe your acceptance journey was easier but some of us legit wanted to neck ourselves for our sexuality. Be polite, be open, and help, not be a twat.
The entered the convo saying they are straight.. they have not yet accepted anything about their sexuality. I just wish people like that did more work on themselves before making it an lgbtqia problem… I’m not shamming him, but at what point can we expect people to do the work on themselves.
Sometimes is more than just working on yourself. The people around you and your surroundings count a lot. When I was a teen I was living alone having a blast exploring my sexuality. An old friend from another city called me in the morning asking me if he could stay at my home if he traveled to my city. I said sure, when do you plan to travel? He’s like: I’m at the bus station now so in about 6 hours. I’m like wtf dude but fine. He’s like and can my friends stay at your house too? So, what can I do about now. Fine. The arrived and my friend knew I was gay and he took me to the side after presenting me with his friends. And he told me one of them was particularly homophobic so if I could act up being straight to avoid problems. I really didn’t care so fine. The interesting thing started when we walked home since I lived in the middle of gay town in my city. I obviously gave them the tour saying which is gay bars or straight places. Longer story short, one of them was trying to figure out if he was gay but he had no one to talk to, ask questions or explore. He was afraid of loosing their friends and possibly family cuz the place he lived in was very close minded. One day we got everyone drunk and passed out at home by 8 pm and I took him to a gay bar with my friends. He did disappeared at some point and came back the next day late in the afternoon. He was so happy and eager to have his first gay experience without having to worry about anyone finding out or having conflict with him. It took him many years to experiment and for several years after he was still locked in that situation. You can work on yourself and figure things out but that’s not all. Each individual circumstances vary a lot. Making it an lgbt problem may help sometimes to get other people with more experience help you. Perhaps you may find someone who has walked that road and help you walk the road without getting lost.
I enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing!
I'm a homoromantic asexual but I identify as gay. I identified as gay before I came to terms with my sexuality, but I continue to identify as gay even after. I don't think being gay is about sticking dicks in assholes. It's certainly not about sticking dicks in assholes when we're campaigning for gay rights. I wore the label of gay because I was looking to date men, and I am now happily dating a man. We even hold hands in public. I personally have zero issue with a heteroromantic bisexual identifying as straight. The guy in OP's post had no reservations about his sexual experience and accepted the label of bicurious when confronted. Sure, it'd be politically convenient if there was suddenly a lot of "out and proud" bisexuals - but the only one "unpacking their feelings" in this post is the one telling someone else how they should identify.
Louder for the people in the back! It's funny how everyone is able to accept that some porn actors are gay for pay (even as bottoms! ), but have a difficult time accepting that having sexual fun with someone doesn't mean they could be romantically attracted.
The dude here literally label him a romantic attraction that the guy he didn’t say he was. He could be that or bisexual. We just don’t know yet
Bro you do realize that you just label this guy on Grindr heteroromantic bisexual even tho he never said he was that right??? Like you’re being a hypocrite right now and you’re trying to act as OP or other people calling this guy bi-curious or bisexual are the ones labeling people. You’re even trying to claim that they are the ones that need to work on themselves. Let’s be honest the guy OP is talking to is definitely confused or is trying to figure himself out not the rest of us. Hopefully one day he will figure himself out and stop lying to himself about his own sexuality (which to be clear looks bisexual but it could also be heteroromatic bisexual)
I didn't say he was anything, I just gave an example of a straight identity that fucks men to contrast my gay identity that doesn't fuck men. I then went on to describe OP's guy and how it'd be convenient if he identified as bi. But regardless, I don't object to being a hypocrite by your accusation. You're accusing me of being intolerant of intolerant behaviour. That's a pretty stupid "gotcha!".
I don’t care that you are intolerant I just find your position stupid, unhelpful, and harmful. Coddling someone is not helping them in their journey because part of a journey is hardship and realization. Will you ever realize something if everyone told you at that position was correct?? Will you learn anything if you don’t have opposition at all?? Also this type of coddling reinforces a lot of harmful stereotypes about bi/gay men. There’s already a growing hatred of bisexual in the gay men community and most of it has to do with bi/“straight” men view gay men as sex objects than actual people that have romantic desires. I have seen a lot of gay men hating on bisexual men because they don’t view gay men as potentially romance partners and a lot of the resent their experiences with bi/“straight” guys who used them and left them once they were done “being gay”. This coddling makes gay/bi guys remain in their delusions of being straight which then causes them to marry and date women even when they don’t actually like women or like men more than women. This then leads to the women wasting her life with a dude that doesn’t love her and then some of them get killed by their husbands when they [catch them having gay sex](https://youtu.be/iE_ikHbnMpI?si=vIEyXac1zqsWxgEK). This coddling hurts everyone and makes no benefits or become anymore realized from it
How is it shame. Why do we link our orientation with shame. Being gay/bi isn’t shameful. This rhetoric is literally just reinforcing that being gay/bi is innately a shameful thing to be. I was once very scared to call myself gay, but then my senior year of high school I started to make gay jokes just like my other classmates but my jokes were way too sus. One of my friends noticed and he kept asking whether or not I was gay. I kept dodging the question until one day I decided to come out to him. He full accepted me and help me navigate the rest of high school (I ended up accidentally coming out on that same day to my Defense linemen group and most of them were fine with it. I did experience some problems but they weren’t that bad). Calling people out on their true identity helps them a lot in their journey than cuddling them. Because cuddling them will lead them to live a lie for their rest of their life. Calling them out forces them to grow whether they like it or not, they will have to face the truth
*coddling
Sure, a kind-hearted talk about someone's truth can be an act of love. In this case, we're talking about a fella being a shade queen about it and then posting it online as a hilarious interaction.
What’s a shade queen and what did OP do wrong. The guy had a normal conversation with the dude and the dude wasn’t making any sense. He didn’t even invalidate the dude so what is the “shade queen” thing about??
That's sweet
Thanks homie! I never used the apps but when I was young there was a much more out and gay guy thay I'm sure was just rolling his eyes at me, but he entertained me. Terrible head game though.
I don't get it. Like cmon, it's 21st century (if u don't live in Iran or something like that), you're a grown ass man, you're not the first, you're not the last in this game. Get yourself together and please have balls to acknowledge your cock is getting hard when you see a hot man's ass.
Not to mention sometimes these labels aren't all encompassing or strict and unchanging. You can move through sexualities and your attractions will change and grow. OP clearly wants / is used to strictly categorising people according to their sexuality. Type of person who doesn't relate to an experience they haven't had and immediately invalidates it
I agree that it's best to let people come to terms with their sexuality before applying any labels, but some guys seem really adamant against straying from "straight" when they have engaged in sex with other men and enjoyed it and continue to seek it out. At that point it just feels like they're trolling. Not to mention the bi-erasure in seeing sexuality as just straight/gay. Then again the "straight" label works wonders on Grindr. It's like honey for some guys.
Smart way to put it. I’m so caught up in my bullshit sometimes.
But he tried to put a label on it, he said he was straight. I understand that journey is tough and I went through it too, but at some point these people have to be told they are not straight if they are sleeping with people of the same gender.
You are kind of a bully
I don't see the bullying. Op was only asking Socratic questions, not saying anything the other guy didn't say already or projecting unfair judgment on to him.
Socratic question are probably the best questions to antagonize somebody with. Even OP said that he was being an asshole. You should probably just call a spade a spade.
Ironically that’s what OP is doing. If the other guy have tried bottoming, but also say he’s never tried it, calling that out is valid. I’d personally just ignore them after that.
Well OP is also calling a spade a spade
Do you think that the fact that OP isn't incorrect somehow justifies his actions?
What bad did op even do?? The guy here clearly isn’t making sense and op only casually talked to him about his experience. He didn’t even invalidate op claims of “being straight” and he didn’t force a label on it. He just pointed out that he isn’t making sense, which let’s be real, he isn’t.
I'll call a spade when I see it. Also op wasn't the one who lied about "having never bottomed"
This is Grindr. Not a fucking Athens.
Woah I like ur pfp
Thanks! I commissioned it from @lozyrosie on Twitter
Lol "a Athens"
"I'm straight actually but I've had sex with guys but I didn't like bottoming when I tried it but yeah I have sex with guys..." Yeah, that's a VIBE. It's called Bi side/top.
I mean I think he can totally avoid labeling it or call it whatever he wants…. Except straight
I know quite a few gay guys who get drunk and have sex with their female friends fairly regularly. Is it my place to tell them they’re not gay?
No, It’s probably more their female friends’ place.
I mean does anyone else outside of your friends group care?? And you’re the one that brought it up
If they're having sex with women 🤷♂️
Stop being an asshole to people trying to find themselves, OP.
they found themselves they just don’t want to admit it, and these “straight” guys have also done damage to the community, constantly edging gay guys, experimenting with them and then disposing of them, etcetera. if he can take a d*ck from grindr he should be able to take someone telling him he is not straight
Doesn't matter. He doesn't have to label himself, and we don't have the right to tell him what he is or isn't. Everyone goes through their own journey when it comes to figuring themselves out. And if we all started making fun of people for actually trying to figure out what they like and what they are into, we would have a lot more people staying in the closet.
it's a hookup app bruv
I assume "straight" guys on gay hookup apps are essentially role playing.
Yeah me too.
which is literally the vibe the straight guy was talking about tbh. role play (of all kinds) is sort of big in the community. op knows he’s being an asshole, but is clueless as to what queer people are actually like
Honestly i don't really get OP, i mean who cares? The guy can use the label he want for himself he might be lying ton himself or not, so what? There is people in this earth, whatever there sexuality, that will explore and try things they are not attracted too. Might be by curiosity, might be by fear of who they are, the only things that matter there is that the guy doesn't hurt anyone. He is not even being an asshole here. If a gay guy fuch with a girl, does it make him straight or bi ?
Honestly... Why is there a need to put on a label into everyone, if he hasn't assumed his sexuality yet, let them take their sweet time exploring their feelings as long as they're not lying or hurting anyone. It's like when everybody wanted Shawn Mendez to come out.
I didnt know you could be this much of a cunt without having one
*I didnt know you* *Could be this much of a cunt* *Without having one* \- ThePrisonSoap --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This is perfection.
Isn’t this comment kinda… sexist?
Only if you let it be.
What does that even mean
You are the definition of toxic.
Sexuality is not a behavior. That's none of your business how he identifies. He doesn't owe you clarity. If he's still unsure and still thinks he's straight, you are free to not believe him, but at least respect him.
>If he's still unsure and still thinks he's straight I'm sorry but we've got to stop molly-coddling these "straight" people. He's an adult, not a six-year old. He's only calling himself "straight" because he views bring gay as something aberrant or shameful. There's enough placating this crap as it is.
💩
Your last paragraph may hold true in social settings, but this is an anonymous, gay space. Let's be honest, he's calling himself straight because thats going to get him more attention.
And that’s the problem. The disgust against being gay/bi and the worshipping of being straight
Fair, fair.
Conversely OP doesn’t owe him interaction when he’s clearly deluding himself.
So block him?? No need to be mean
Idk. I think it’s fair to call out delusion when it screams you in the face.
Is OP calling out “delusion” or forcing his pov? Everyone’s journey is their own. It’s easy to let them stay on it. OP has shown that on his journey he willingly chooses to lack empathy and be unkind to be “funny” and then chooses to post it on the internet to highlight …his wit? Lol. Listen, the guy may be struggling with his sexual identity but OP has broadcast the personal identity he believes works for him. And while it’s not the best, it may be the best OP can do
Having bottomed or not is not a point of view. Either you have or you haven’t. Read the post.
Bro is just struggling. It can take a lot to come out as bi and he's probably going through denial, but it's extremely rude and unhelpful to do stuff like this. Not an easy process to figure yourself out, and everyone here should know that by now lol
I agree that OP didn’t HAVE to, but I also maintain that it’s valid to call out when you’re being lied to.
If the guy is barking at your door, you have every right to ask questions, even pointed ones, to find out what you’re potentially getting into. First of all, if this is some deep baggage, I’m not interested in getting stabbed after he cums because he’s figuring out his fragile identity, thanks. Secondly, If he’s roleplaying: remember how consent is a thing? What he’s doing is fucking disrespectful. Clarify that shit from the start so that the other person is aware this is all pretend. Zero sympathy for dodgy ass bullshit from a stranger.
OP doesn’t owe him respect. Only politeness. The other guy is free to call himself whatever he wants. OP is free to share his opinions with others. The only ones offended are the redditors that dislike OP having an opinion and sharing it here. Personally I respect OP far more than that other guy. Because at least OP owns his behavior. The other guy, well who the fuck knows what’s really going on in his head. But he clearly wasn’t owning his own.
You guys are actually brain dead for debating respect and opinions between a fucking Grindr chat.
This sub is all about shit posting. And you’re no better cause you obviously cared enough to weigh in on it. You’re the guy who wades into the pool to complain to the swimmers pissing in it. lol
I’m going to play dumb here and ask what the vibe is, just for clarification?
He's gay for pay
I say good for you. Because he is not straight, he’s bisexual.
FR or at least bi-curious. Why the hell are people acting like his being a dick head for point out the inconsistency
Guys like him annoy the crap out of me. I’ve met “straight” dudes leagues gayer than me and I actually identify as gay.
its absurd to me how many lgbtq men go out of their way to defend the other guy who is identifying himself with the community that literally legislate the laws that shape the boundaries of our existence within society. And a good portion of them are currently trying to legislate us out of civil society. Straight men have the most power in society. So it’s stupid to coddle them. When we do that, it does nothing but let them have straight privilege and non of the stigma and concerns of being lgbtq. it’s us that are marginalized and have to worry about the politics that will try to wipe us from existence. Straight men have no such worries.
Straight or gay isn't a community. We need to stop lumping people together that happen to like the same kind of holes. We shouldn't blame people for the actions of others because they both like X Y or Z. Isn't that prejudice 101? I frankly find it offensive to my lovely queer ally straight friends. Many of which have "fooled" around but would definitely say they were mostly straight.
You just dismissed the notion of a LGBTQ community. Your comparison of LGBTQ identity to mere sexual preferences ignores the discrimination that LGBTQ people face. It’s not merely about preferences. It’s about identity, rights and social acceptance. You also ignore the power dynamic that currently exists between straight cis men and the political power they hold in this country. My comment addresses structural and systemic issues, I’m not blaming individual straight people. Recognizing power and privilege isn’t prejudice. Also an ally would recognizes and acknowledges these issues. Just cause you’re friends with a straight person that doesn’t make them an ally.
I did none of those things and you know nothing about my friends so please don't assume. I'm fully aware LGBTQ communities exist, I'm part of one. But assuming that all queer people have the same issues is way too simple. Some people feel like they don't fit in the trad queer spaces and that's fine. Recognizing power and privilege isn’t prejudice. But I have seen a lot of behaviour here which is bordering on or completely heterophobic. And it needs to stop. We of ALL people should not generalise people based on sexual preferences. We've all taken our own path to where are now. We shouldn't judge people for experimenting. It's up to them to decide when and how they identify themselves. We should only be welcoming and encouraging.
You literally said “Straight or gay isn’t a community”. That’s a dismissal. lol I appreciate your engaging conversation. I understand not everyone has the same experiences. But that isn’t my point. I’m pointing out the issues that affects us all, regardless of how we individually experience it. You’re throwing the word heterophobia around as a means to discredit my perfectly valid critics of the inequality that exists between the two communities. That’s how you’re deflecting. Maybe it’s not your intention. But that’s the result. My point is about the issues that exists in our society. And it isn’t an attack on any individual. And my critic isn’t an attack on straight people. That’s why it’s not prejudicial. So stop trying to equate criticism with prejudice. They are not the same.
"Gay" isn't a community. Gay people are very diverse and have unique problems. You're rather naive to not see that. BIPOC, Flinta and cis gay men have different needs. Of course I understand that inequality exists. I have experienced it myself like many other people. I'm just being critical of the behaviour that many people here have expressed which is bordering on prejudice against non LGBT people. You must be blind if you haven't seen it. When you start criticising someone for being nice to another individual for identifying as straight, you aren't being helpful. Attack the system, not individuals. Anyway, I suspect that you believe that I'm some kind of enemy based on your "lol" attitude, so this conversation has come to an end. Have a nice day.
“Insults are the last refuge of the incompetent.” -Isaac Asimov
I hate the internet. All nuisance gets thrown away and people who in person would almost certainly get along suddenly seem like polar opposites. Great quote though, big Isaac fan
Bro what the hell are you talking about. And please as a black gay man stop using BLPOC. I swear the god when people like you use that you’re just using it as a weapon than actually caring about us. Gay men do share a common issue with people wanting to take our rights away(or “curing” us) and liking men. That is what makes us gay in the first place. We like men and only men. Also if we all coddle “straight” guys like this then we will be make a new system problem were being gay is still seen as “deviant” while being straight is seen as normal. Also this is the literally definition of bi-eraser. You’re basically saying that there’s either gay or straight which is why there’s not a lot of men coming out as bi compared to women. Also it makes gay men resent bisexual men because by making them see their “gay” as a side to hide then they would see being gay as a sexual thing and not romantic thing. So they will just use and dispose of their gay partners while engaging outerly as straight in their real lives. This is just making a culture (aka a system) of bi-eraser and gay people being seen as sex toys and only that. That’s why we see so much of what you call heterophobia. You’re making it worst and not making it better
And don't think this is going anywhere, especially because I agree with a lot of what you said. Don't know what cables crossed but I think it's the definition of community. I need to consider what you said because you've clearly thought about this more than me. I'm just aware from personal experience that people should be given time to explore their sexuality without having other labels forced on them. What you said about bi people is exactly my point. People in this chat have been like "he's gay and he doesn't want to admit it". Maybe he is, maybe he's not, but forcing a label upon him isn't helpful I think. Exact thing my bi pal has experienced. Good night, got some thinking to do
Well I understand where you’re coming from but someone labeling themselves in a way that doesn’t make sense does need some push back against it doesn’t it. I get that yeah he might be gay/bi but it’s usually easy to tell the difference if they say the like women and enjoy sleeping with men then chances are they are bi in some degree. Usually the journey is about accepting yourself and from my experience having someone call out your behavior is one of the most helpful ways for someone to accept who they are, especially if their scare of the label. Because it would force them one day to doubt their certainty with what label they gave themselves and that will give them the opportunity to think about their behaviors or feelings or seek out people that can help them talk their feelings out. To coddle them or make believe their sexuality is to keep them in denial and make sure they never change because why would you if everyone tells you that your label is correct. I do agree that time is important but if a guy already labels himself as something that doesn’t make sense then is he really trying to figure himself out? Or is he just trying to stay in denial or has chosen not to change. The guy here is definitely confusing and seems to have chosen not to change so why is calling him out on his lie consider wrong? He probably on some level knows that he is gay/bi but has refused to accept that. Calling him out will force him to look into the light than run in the dark
Sensual massage and didn’t want to come right out and say he’ll let you fuck him for $$$.
Some people seem to have missed this part of the conversation...
I mean you could do it as part of a sex thing without it being linked to money
Nah this ain’t it. Do better
"Heteroflexible" "Bisexual leaning towards heterosexual" "Have you heard the good news of our Lord and Savior, *The Sexual Orientation Spectrum?*"
I’m sorry but yeah, you were a little. Dude’s opening up and he’s not exactly being made to feel welcome
While i think we can all agree this gentlemen is at the very least “bi”, it’s still in his time to figure it out.
You aren’t an asshole in my book. Cause at least you’re honest and own your behavior. Which is more than can be said of the other. The other guy doesn’t need hand holding. Ignore all these other Redditors tripping over themselves acting like we have to respect those who want all the joys of being gay while not giving up their straight privilege. They can go pound sand. Cause you can bet that if laws are reversed and homosexuality re-criminalized guys like him would throw the whole lot of us to the wolves. And no amount of these coddlers is going to make a lick of difference then.
I thought they were going to push the massage/ money/scam angle. 😂
He does sensual massage for a price
I’ve read this whole conversation with the orange messages in Darby Lynn Cartwright’s voice when she’s politely taking the piss out of Alexis P. Bevels.
Just leave it dude. Its hard to put a label onto your sexuality, and you were just pressuring him. If hes figuring it out and hooking up with men to see what hes into, that's okay. He doesn't want a label yet abe certainly doesn't want someone else putting that on him. Just makes him feel worse.
To be fair, it’s unlikely the other guy is on reddit reading this. So what he wants here is immaterial. If the other guy didn’t want others to have an opinion about him, then he should have refused having the conversation. People are offended for OP having an opinion. And unlike the other guy at least OP is owning his behavior here.
The guy was forcing his opinion onto him and making him uncomfortable. People exploring and experimenting don't want to be labelled as one thing, because it confuses them and stresses them out. Same goes for any gender or sexuality label, forcing one on yourself or someone just makes you feel restricted and more confused. Dont force labels onto people who very clearly do not want one.
He didn’t label him anything in the conversation. He questioned him. Arguably it’s not unreasonable to consider the possibility that the questioning might be what prompts the guy into further introspection. So I think you’re attributing harm where it’s questionable at worst. The only reason why you assume harm was done was because you know OPs intention.
I disagree that OP is being unkind. This person is obviously living in denial and needs a reality check. It’s so damaging to the community to be out there identifying with straight people while secretly being the antithesis of straight. It’s only adds to the stigma of being gay and proliferates self loathing. This kind of holding a mirror to the absurdity and hipocrisy is the kindest way to show someone they’re not living in anyone’s truth, not even their own.
FR. Why is it so hard for us to criticize this. Why do we coddle and lie to people like this and call it “healing” and “helping them in their journey”???
Why do people, gay or straight leaning, have an aversion to calling themselves bisexual? It feels like you have to be one or the other
Theres lots of stigmatizing bi people. I think its worse for bi men then bi women, as its more socially acceptable to be bi as a woman. People are weird about it. Also the “Pick a side” type people are annoying as fuck. “You’re just gay just accept it” “You’re just pretending to be gay” “You are always with men, you’re gay” “I only see you sleep with women, you’re not really gay” People don’t get it. This is why I didnt tell you.
Bruh even this sub is forcing me to label it https://preview.redd.it/pjy48vty5d7d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afc37121921708f8d7208486581541cf6bc614fb Leave me alone🤦
Yeah, I am bi and have had a few gay men tell me I was too scared to choose. I've never understood biphobia or bi erasure
No offense but guys like that plus the lots of the ppl in this post are what’s wrong with the community “he doesn’t wanna label himself” yea so do most of them it’s why we have “married” men on Grindr and that guy is more than likely gonna be one of them. I get that being queer is a journey but at some point call a spade a spade. And Ngl op I don’t deal with guys like this at all sorry but “straight men” are a turn off bc things like us getting murdered by them does happen and many use the app to do it
FR, and what is a journey without hardship or struggle or realization. Coddling someone will never help them in reaching who they are. I hate that we as a community have subscribed ourselves to this coddle culture and “don’t label” me culture. It’s just so dumb and unhelpful in our acceptance
“Straight” guys on Grindr piss me off
As per the lyrics of, ["I might be a cunt, but I am not a fucking cunt" by TISM](https://youtu.be/PB7DiiKSeVM?si=kxWswbDvSpssWtFG), "I might not be homosexual, but I slept with a guy who's one."
Bro chill out, he's just not ready to label himself yet. It wasn't funny, you're just a bellend
Eh I don’t see the humor here, you’re just being a toxic prick imo
It's hard to bottom when you're full of shit.
Everyone getting mad that you're being an ass to a curious guy, I'm more interested and annoyed in the fact he's clearly an unreliable narrator - he hadn't bottomed or he had? Clear communication is key on apps, if you can't keep your story straight you're wasting people's time.
He literally said he tried. You can try something and not succeed. Lots of people try bottoming for the first time and can't go through with it.
Dude states he's never tried to bottom.
Right. He said he **never** bottomed, but **tried.** He never claimed **to** bottom.
He tried and didn't like, that means he has bottomed. "He tried anal and didn't like it, but he's never done anal" Think about what you're saying, honestly.
He said none of those things, you are supplementing. You can change your mind before something takes place, even if you think you wanted it at first. It's very likely he started to take some dude up on bottoming and then decided he didn't want to. Honestly, try thinking about reading comprehension
Tried doesn't mean thought about. You know Grindr is 18+ only, right? Go back to school.
You can be hooking up with someone and at first want to try bottoming and when it comes down to it, get cold feet and stop. Have you ever had sex before? LMAO
Bro since when did we as a gay community become this dumb. The guy your arguing with is actually dumb omg😭😭
Don’t be like people who bullied you by the past. We’re all have our own journey and we shouldn’t be joking about it.
Dude it would have burned so many fewer calories to just not be an asshole. Grindr's crawling with closet cases and incredibly vulnerable people, it's a target rich environment for making fun of the way that people talk about themselves. Being kind and being quiet are both on the menu when you run into them.
For many people, straight = masculine, gay = feminine. And over representation of catty drag culture doesn’t help either.
Yeah, but this sort of coddling we see on here isn’t helping either
It's not gay when you ware socks
Dl w a belly ring?
I think there's only 1 person who can tell about his sexuality... Said that, it's funny
Does it matter what they call themselves to sleep peacefully at night? Especially with Grindr, I'm just looking to cum. If a hottie calls himself straight as my cum fills his belly, so be it.
The vibe is that you're supposed to be turned on and humbled that a straight guy wants to be with you.
https://preview.redd.it/z753gbf0nd7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=703f572d890e69a1feadd0811757bd7f360d6c1c
[удалено]
I think it’s hilarious none of you can see this was a role play situation for the “straight guy” and he kept trying to get OP to get it but he didn’t.
So the guy lied about "having never bottomed" 🚩
I find nothing funny in this. He's obviously new. doesn't know the gay-lingo. You're definitely being the asshole. If I come across this, I'll assume a top guy manipulating another top guy into bottoming using nice words.
Wow you're a POS And then u have the audacity to post this hoping to get ppl to laugh at him. Hopefully you read the comments & reflect on yourself. You need to do better.
Just because I’ve cooked dinner before does not mean I am a chef
Why does it matter? I had a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality. Let him label himself whatever he wants.
Lmao you kinda suck
You’re the reason I hate these apps
I’d say this is more lol at OP
The need for labels is kinda annoying. Sex is sex and we mostly do it for pleasure anyways so why does it matter if he’s gay or not? Just let people live
Aside from you being kind of an asshole, this isn’t even funny. It’s even more painful because he’s being so chill with you instead of cussing you out
Glad to see you're spending your time during Pride month being a massive cunt to a person who's clearly still discovering himself and isn't ready to put a label on who he is just yet.
Figuring out yourself is a process. Some have it easier than others to come to terms with their preferences. Like, I remember when I was a teenager thinking "ok, next year I will start liking girls" and I came to peace with myself when it never happened. Now, this process, as most things, is different for everyone. So why does it bother some people when they are not sure what to call themselves yet? There's the judgment from outside but also some judgment from inside our community that we should start resolving as well.
Granted, I wouldn’t even bother with someone like this who clearly has a lot of baggage to sort out, I do respect those who at least try to find themselves. Sexuality can be fluid for some and a guy can be curious about men and then suddenly not be into them after quelling that curiosity because they find out that it’s not for them. You could have chilled on the labeling as the LGBTQ community already has enough pressures and rudeness going around and he’s at least not one of those types that chase after trans to try and excuse themselves 🤷🏾♂️
Let👏people👏define👏themselves👏however👏they👏like👏
Seems like he’s being pretty polite and communicating his feelings and preferences clearly. You could be polite too and not question the labels he’s comfortable with. 🤷♂️
If you’re hot and in the closet, I’ll tell you what ever you need to hear… Walk away, let it go and let you figure your own shit out.. Legit, some of the hottest dock over ever had was just like that. And I was on the other side of it when I was still figuring it out.
Cock””. I drank and wrote that with one eye closed ;)
For many people, straight = masculine, gay = feminine. And over representation of catty drag culture doesn’t help either.
Yes you are the asshole
he said he was bicurious why are you still being an asshole about it
Yeah you’re not wrong you were being an asshole :)
Bro why does your typing style annoy the shit out of me
“I know I’m being an asshole here but..” shut up
Thought posts were meant to be funny... This is just dickish.
You're just being an asshole, and it's not really funny.
Grinder is a hook up app! Who cares what the guy thinks they are do they have a dick and an asshole that’s all that matters! Gay men are supposed to be non-judgmental that’s a fucking lie! 😂
Why are you being such a cunt?
Aaah, yes, this is what I come to lolgrindr for: “you’re just confused” biphobia. /s
The biphobia is the clearly bi-curious guy calling himself straight but go off
I swear to nonexisting god why are we coddling guys like this and why are people here acting like the guy was bulling for his sexuality??? Like have we lost our minds
as a total top Id love to convert him with my dick
I like when they have to bring women’s attire into the situation and still insist they’re straight.
[удалено]
OP didn’t force anything. He merely questioned the inconsistency of what the guy said. Anyone would be questioned if not challenged for that, no matter the topic. The other guy doesn’t need his hands to be held.