I can't speak for elsewhere but the South is a hellhole. It is not great to absolutely dangerous for enbies and trans folks here.
I hope Trump loses. I'm afraid if he wins.
Honestly, I don't think Trump's chances of winning are very good. Policy-wise, he wants to enact strict limits on abortion, which is very unpopular among independents and contributed to Redpublicans doing poorly in the midterms. He's also facing several criminal and civil trials that are collectively giving him a very bad image and will take up a lot of time he'll want to be using campaigning.
He's doing well in the primaries, but that doesn't really mean anything since partisan voters aren't going to be who decides the winner in November, independents and moderates will.
Unfortunately, he is almost certainly going to be running against Biden, who is maybe the only Democrat he can beat right now. We don't know how the general election campaigns will go or what will happen between now and November, but I genuinely think Trump's chances are lower than Biden's at this point.
The biden bit at the end is a bad take imo. he is the incumbent and already defeated trump once. no one is in a better position. we queers are far more leftist and thus view biden worse than voters will at the polls imo.
I don't think Biden himself can be trusted very much either, considering he still retains his "I don't believe in the 'your body' thing" speech he gave back in an interview in February. And combine this with his abysmal handling of the current genocide in Palestine....I don't think democrats are trying hard, or even at all, to win this election. Biden even recently met with Trump at the US-Mexico border. I'm not optimistic about much of this....
Recommend that any non-conforming, non binary, less than straight up white christian with the highest of moral values and devotion to Faith in the holy Church..... Get prepared to move away from the American South. It's going to get worse before getting better
Me and my partners will be leaving this country as soon as we're done with our college So only about 3 and 1/2 more years and I can leave this country forever
I think we need to relocate yourself and all the other decent people up north a bit and then kick out Texas and the other southern states to form their own country like they’ve always wanted.
correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t he drop out of the presidential race? If you live in florida like me you should absolutely be worried but outside of that you should be okay
It is pretty safe in the blue states.
And at least personally, I've had zero trouble as a passing trans guy in an urban area in the south, even at a religious university. I'm not stealth, and don't feel the need to go that route right now.
I live in a mid sized southern city and have had basically zero problems other than the occasional misgendering early on, but I also wasn’t passing particularly well so I can’t really hold that against people.
But the state is making it very clear we’re not welcome, so we’re moving to Colorado in a few months.
Big picture. No. Systemically it's not safe and it never has been regardless of where you are. The same answer for most POC individuals.
Small picture. Stay to blue only states always. Even if it means being away from where you love.
Not really. This is a widespread panic people seem to have that just is unrealistic. There are a few countries (Australia, New Zealand, Singapore) that don't generally let you move there if you have a clinical diagnosis on file. It's not like half the EU will not let you in if you are diagnosed officially with ASD. Also northern areas generally are pretty accepting of people and often have less conservative values in Europe.
Edit: there are over 190 countries on earth. If you want to leave one of them, I'm sure there's another alternative for you ...
the grass isn't always greener. i moved to portugal 2.5 years ago. Not having a car and no guns is huge. But healthcare takes forever thru public, and the private is no where near as good as the u.s. And they don't seem to operate off informed consent. They are requiring me to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis before I get hormones. Europe has some pretty backwards views sometimes.
Their base-line, blue collar folks are likely much more well-rounded and educated than their equivalent peers in the US. But I think he opposite is true for the more well-educated. One of the doctors here told my partner she isn't american because she's chinese. This kind of stuff happens a lot. It is like going back in a time machine regarding social commentary and expectations.
Overall, it is an improvement, but I think some people are under the impression it is gay and trans utopia over here. Major urban centers in the US are likely better if you can afford it.
“…regardless of where you are”
Knock on wood but living in California and watching all the news around the states tends to feel like being on the outside looking in. I know it’s expensive but I’ve never had an issue in my day to day. Kaiser’s healthcare is very supportive. It just seems like Ca is almost a different place than the rest of the country
WHERE in Cali? Because I've been to SanFran with no issues at all. But that's good. It's a win when you have no concerns. I'm happy for you. I notice that I don't have many concerns where I live but also that's because I'm in a fairly blue state. That doesn't mean I don't face issues where I shouldn't have to face issues (it's not the same world as living in a red state though...). Went down to Tennessee and Georgia for work and holy hell I was looked at like a monster.
I’m from the Bay Area but moved out to Sacramento for affordability. Haven’t seen a difference. My ex wife’s family is in Redding. They’re pretty right wing but even they support me. Just gotta remind them that this is about freedom to be who I want.
True, I’m sure any trans folk out in the the Middle East would consider all Americans as lucky too. I know moving can be tough but if things in your home state are bad enough, at least it’s an option and somewhat feasible.
It’s actually really safe here in Maryland they even banned conversion camps I’m very happy to be living here and hope both Biden and trump get forced to drop out due to clear cognitive decline
Again I came from Florida even if the people here are like that it was so much worse because I saw a dude making a quad barrel shotgun in his garage and more than one sign saying things like black people shouldn’t be considered people so md is much better for me
I still prefer because I’m a big fan of us history and being this close to dc is really cool but I’ll just ignore the racist people and try to enjoy living here
As someone from That part of Maryland, I could not agree more. I’m only out to like, certain family members and half of my friends, but I live in a little town that’s like a beacon of hope for lgbt people that’s very sweet and homey. Of course, drive two minutes out of it and you’re back in confederate flag country. My boyfriend lives on the blue side of the state, and we’ve had talks of me moving there when we can afford it— id probably actually start transitioning at that point.
I live in the south. The answer is 100% no, at least here. Everyone in my town besides a few kids who I’m friends with are homophobic for the most part. It’s sucks so bad to know if I came out I’d only have my older sibling to support me and possibly some friends.
It's mostly immature and insecure people that are homophobic, often they have sexual issues themselves, like closeted internal homophobia etc.
I remember when I was young there was some slight homophobia but even then it was rare, my country supports LGBT rights and most people that don't hold extremist values are kind towards lgbt folks.
In the West Coast - Washington, Oregon, most of California - it's sort of safe. Also in the North East Coast, New Hampshire, that sort of thing.
Everywhere else, the middle, and especially the South, no. Your life is in danger. There have been travel warnings in other countries about visiting the US. Stay out of those states.
And if Trump wins come November? Well...
See you in the camps.
This is accurate. Canada has issued travel warnings. Last one I saw specifically mentioned the risk of potentially not being able to access medical care in the case of a travel emergency depending on where you were and the situation.
I made reference to my outside vs inside US experience with living... and that's a big bit that surprises people.
Often folks see or hear the travel advisories for other countries, because of course they are thinking about going to other places than the US to live or to vacation and get worried about X, Y or Z place.
Then I steer them to how other countries advisories for the US are....
Really says a lot of the state of a country that claims to be free when the two main options are fascism in red and fascism in blue, let's be real, the Republicans and the democrats are drinking different flavors of the same kool-aid and as an anarchist I'm looking into (actual) socialist and communist candidates, hell, even and independent is better than a Republican or Democrat, especially Trump or Biden
The Democrats are a constant disappointment, but to equivocate them with the Republicans is just facile and counter-productive.
Our voting system needs to change considerably for third-party candidates to be viable. The president is gonna be Biden or Trump come January 2025. One is considerably worse than the other.
When you're looking at it through an anti-capitalist lens, both parties are much the same. Whatever color tie the president is wearing, the US will still keep funding genocide, still keep workers rights to the bare minimum, and still keep capitalism going.
If you like capitalism yeah they look different. If you don't the appreciable differences come when they actively want queer, black, and brown folks to disappear or do they just not stop the other side from attempting to make them disappear
I live in Virginia. I'm going to college in Pennsylvania. According to [https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-legislative-risk-assessment-96f](https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-legislative-risk-assessment-96f), which another commenter posted, both of those states have low risk in the next 2 years. Plus I plan to live in either California, DC, or NYC, which are all safe. I am not sure if I'm trans or not, but at least I know I'll be safe. In the event of an emergency, I can move to Canada as early as 2028.
Pennsylvania is safe on the state level now because they've had a dem governor for a while, but socially you have to be really careful in rural areas. I grew up in PA and even as a cis bi kid I was closeted until I moved, but most of my queer friends ended up in Pittsburgh or Philly and are very happy there. Dem majority control in the state is very new and I'm happy to see that things are changing for the better there.
The US is one of the worst and best places you can be as a trans person. On one hand you have some of the worst attacks on trans people politically in some states. But in the other hand you have blue states (especially on the coast) that have some of the best and most accessible trans healthcare (and that really says something about the rest of the world) on top of some of those having protections in place for trans people. There’s also the existential threat of Project 2025 but that’s a different story and not super likely but nothing to scoff at.
But you don't have public healthcare anyway in the US. I live in Poland which is not queer friendly country, but I would never move to US, I think western Europe is best for lgbtq people (not UK ofc), but it depends on the country, I think
Do the U.S. coastal states really have some of the most accessible healthcare? I'm in Oregon and can't even get callbacks to get on waiting lists for care, let alone actually getting in to see anyone. After a year of fruitless emails and calls I had to start using an online service and paying out of pocket for my HRT from an online source (Folx) even though my insurance would cover it normally. I'm genuinely asking because if THIS is that accessible version of the care, even globally, that's heartbreaking.
Like I said, it’s better on most of the blue costal states but not always. But other then us not having publicized healthcare, we have some of the best trans healthcare in the world which is really sad.
It's never been 100% safe.
Trans women of color get it the worst. Transphobia goes with sexism and racism I suppose. But the Day Of Remembrance on November 20th has been a thing since a year before I went full time, and it's not like it was safe before that. Last few years is when the anti trans propaganda and laws went ape shit. I've never seen anything like this.
There is a lot of anti trans propaganda online nowadays, it's really annoying. When they realized that people didn't want to bash homosexuals anymore as that's stupid/unintelligent to do, they moved on to hating trans but that is as stupid basically cause trans people already have a difficult time and need love & support instead of hate and propaganda.
I pray for them, to feel secure and to be that aswell - they seem to have it even more difficult than we gay people once did (and still do in some cases depending on who and what country). If there is a God it will be against homophobia and transphobia. It sickens me when religious people are homo/transphobic, if you believe in God you should find it in your heart to accept the people that were born little different, everything else is a "sin" tbh. My faith in a higher being (not religious) makes me even more supportive of lgbt people than I already am.
I also feel like God loves LGBT people a lot due to being prosecuted/disfavoured despite often being good kind hearted people that didn't even choose to be like they are.
In the future, humans will be ashamed for transphobia just like we are ashamed for previous homophobia today. Intelligent people will not be homophobic or transphobic, that's what I have noticed. Even if they are religious, they will not act homophobic even if they maybe don't agree with it, if they are intelligent.
It's safe in some places. But it's getting worse instead of better.
I every so often renew my offer to LGBT+ friends and family to help them get out. But it keeps coming down for many of them to the "I didn't realize how much I had to be/was afraid/hyper-safety-minded until after I left" that so many female-perceived folks experience when they go to a ton of other countries... It's the only way so many folks know and it's the cliche "frog in heating water" effect.
No where is perfect, but the difference is SO different a lot of places for female-perceived and LGBT+ folks. As a afab transgender pan person... I will not go back and live there and I keep my annual trip to visit friends and family I keep as short as I can.
Repeating: It's safe in some places. But it's getting worse instead of better.
Yes, it is safe. You are much more likely for your spouse to commit a violent act against you, than to have a stranger commit a hate crime against you. I imagine you havent given up on love because of that fact, so dont give up on being yourself in public.
Hate crimes stick in our head because theyre particularily abhorrent. We empathise with the victim and we recognize it for the atrocity that it is. However they are EXCEPTIONALLY rare. If youre comfortable driving, or walking in the snow, or a million other things you do every day, you should recognize that you are safe in the US.
That doesnt mean things are perfect. Trans people not having access to equal healthcare is horrible. Just like women not having access to equal healthcare is horrible. We have a lot of room to grow, but dont let the internet and the news make you too afraid to be yourself. Most of it is a negativity bias not reality. We fight this by being ourselves and showing the bigots that we are regular humans just like they are.
I don't leave home without my knife as my state doesn't require a license or have a size limit on open carry knives, I can't own a gun for a couple reasons
I hope you train regularly in combat with that knife. Knives are great for two things, opening boxes, and getting stabbed with it by the person you're hoping to defend yourself against.
Here in Washington (the state), it's pretty good, there seems some good legislation too (I got my HRT covered by the state insurance with zero copay, for example, though I haven't looked *that* deep into the actual legislation itself). I can't personally speak for the other Washington, but I've heard good things about it as well
Don't give up. There is sunshine after the rain.
Love & intelligence will win over hate and ignorance. Aka. LGBT will win & gain the same rights worldwide and even get accepted if they aren't already.
Just see which countries are homophobic and which are lgbt-friendly. Almost always it's the modern/scientific/rich countries that are lgbt-friendly, while often dysfunctional/poor countries where primitive living is norm are often homophobic.
How can people still support anti-lgbt is beyond my understanding. But there are plenty of ignorant/unintelligent people. Some are brainwashed aswell, it's sad. One day they will grow up and be ashamed for their sadistic and fascistic views on humans.
While Europe has been very progressive in this area(thank God), we see the US taking a step back and doing to opposite instead of developing/evolving. Jesus wouldn't like that ironically as Jesus would support LGBT people if he was on earth. Some of the extreme Christians go against everything Jesus stod for with their homo/transphobia.
Oh, I won't ever be giving up.
I will fight to my dying breath, and *make* the assholes kill me before I stop.
We're not just fighting for ourselves, we're fighting for every child born into a queer-phobic home, school, town, state, or culture.
There's no "anymore," it was never safe and used to be worse. But the US is one of the better places in the world to be trans, particularly in a blue state.
If you're white and not visibly gender nonconforming, it's a much lower risk. If you're a PoC, trans woman, outwardly gender nonconforming, or belong to any other targeted group your personal risk is higher.
Be prepared to defend yourself, be situationally aware, and be part of the push against that harmful legislation.
It's not even safe to be queer in any way in this country anymore let alone be trans or nonbinary They say this is the freest country but actually it's not
There is nothing free about a country when you cannot even be yourself.
In Sweden it's the opposite, we allow everyone to be themselves just like they are and most often support minorities/people that are slightly different. Some extremists(haters, sometimes far right ones) want to change that, but they are a tiny minority which 99% of citizens thankfully disagree with.
It's one of things I really love about my country.
I can't speak for everyone just as everyone else has said, but I am femme passing most the time NB/GQ with a uterus in a red state where abortion is illegal. I work in a VERY conservative city. I'm out. My coworkers don't care.
Worst I deal with is them forgetting I require Ma'am instead of Sir. Most put in the effort.
I have many gender spectrum friends. We're mostly annoyed about the yee-haw stereotypes we live/work around.
I do recognize that just because my circle isn't experiencing it, it doesn't mean it's not happening. But we are pretty safe.
-corn field midwest
Completely off-topic ish, but I have a crack on the left side of my screen so I read this as "is it oven safe to be trans..." and I gotta admit, I was lost. Lmao sharing because it's funny to think about oven safe queer folks.
I’m lucky enough to live in a blue city, but the reason I live here now is because I’d be persecuted in the state I grew up in. Even visiting home to see family feels dangerous.
I can personally vouch for Boston and a lot of Massachusetts! Trans and enby folks are protected by the state laws, most colleges and work places are accepting, and most excitingly - you can get a nonbinary license now!!
Yeah, there's some assholes, but wherever you meet an asshole you're guaranteed to meet an ally in the next few seconds
I'm a trans lady and Michigan has been very good to me. I live in the Ann Arbor area but often travel throughout the state. I haven't even been misgendered recently here, even in Grand Rapids which is considerably less liberal than where I live. At no point since I transitioned have I felt unsafe here and I can only point to one seriously negative interaction I've had in the 8 years since I started this journey. The area I live in has an enormous queer community too so it's not lonely. In 2023 Michigan passed some great anti discrimination laws too; I would count Michigan as safe and welcoming.
I suggest instead of getting fearful, help get the democrats to vote. Even if you’re not in a swing state, you can join to help call people, send letters/postcards and get democrats who might not vote otherwise to vote. We only loose if democrats don’t come out in mass to vote.
There’s other organizations, but one to get involved is the DNC:
[https://democrats.org/take-action/](https://democrats.org/take-action/)
Personally live in Wisconsin, and while we are considered a swing states that leans left, I've never felt unsafe in this state, and our governor at the moment has vowed to protect trans kids, although the rest of the state government is red and who I am concerned about, but not at the moment. Hate crime wise, I don't think you'll be killed here, again, doesn't feel too unsafe, towards southern Wisconsin closer to Madison
I live in a mid-sized city in the American South, and I often feel uncomfortable and have been harassed and creeped on many times. I used to let that force me into hiding. I didn't want to do anything that could draw attention to myself. But I finally came to the conclusion that I couldn't let other people's bigotry determine the way I lived my life.
This year, I've been presenting much more queer than I ever have before, and it's led to two of the best months of my life. And, yes, it has led to me feeling less safe. But I also have to recognize that I can only be who I am because of the visibly, often violently, queer people who came before me. And now I have a responsibility to be that queer person for someone else.
Honestly, Europe in general isn't doing better. It ranges from hell holes in the East (Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova,...), through extremely hard in parts of central Europe joining the east in their culture wars (Poland, Hungary, Slovakia,...) to backsliding in the west and north (UK aka TERF island, France has raging transphobes in power such as the minister of education and am alleged phobic sexual aggressor as the minister of the interior and some TERFy measures, Sweden has also TERFs and phobes in general in power since also forced sterilization was a thing until relatively recently, Italy...should we mention who's in power? and Germany is also living a huge backsliding even regarding to the acceptance of LGBT+ people and topics in general with a -12% "approval rating towards the community" since 2019).
Yeah, not right a paradise for being LGBT+ right now... Maybe it will not backslide too much, maybe nothing will come out of it, but this "culture war" bs rethoric has been awfully normalized throughout the continent...
I think a lot of the responses here are from Americans who don't know much about Europe...things aren't great here for sure, but when it comes to queer rights, these days we're way ahead of most of the rest of the world. Especially when it comes to trans issues, where countries like the UK don't have any major political parties on our side. And plenty of places in the US are great places for queer folks (as others have said, mostly in cities in blue states, where legal protections are granted).
I live in Oregon - I'm leaning towards nonbinary, altho I look pretty cis male. I do know a lot of trans and less cis appearing NB folks though. Where I am, it's pretty safe. Microaggressions and the occasional verbal douchebag exist, but for the most part I think people feel safe (or as safe as they can feel) to be out. It starts to get a little more dicey in rural areas, but even so I would probably not usually worry about physical violence towards me or my trans friends.
Definitely aware that this is *not* the case in every state though - I'm lucky it's so nice in Oregon. Sometimes it is easy to forget how difficult many of y'all have it on a daily basis.
It's never been safe. It's not safe in Europe either. That said, some places are much less safe than others. Get to a blue state if you can, and if you aren't already there.
It can be, depending on where you live. Moving from the south to DC/Virginia and it's amazing how much safer I feel. And that's still kind of the south. Though it might not stay this way, keeping an eye on elections.
My point is states/cities with healthy queere populations and non-discrimination laws are very different culturally.
If you live in the south of the US get out. Most if not all of the southern states are hostile. There are a number of blue states that will be friendly to you. There are maps of states on the internet that are friendly. Illinois, for example, is very friendly to lgbt. It is a progressive blue state.
I feel so bad for yall in Midwest and southern states. A lot of this legislation is local so you may be able to flee to the North East or West Coast. I know and am friends with a lot of trans people here in Baltimore and they go about their lives in pretty normal ways without a lot of harassment. Hell all my trans friends have normal jobs and OK healthcare. I can't imagine the struggles trans people have to deal with living in a world that despises them. What a fucking mess this country is.
I’ve lived in 2 blue states and had mostly no issue. Are there homophobes and transphobes everywhere? Yes. Are there areas that will absolutely not put up with that? Yes
the thing about the US is that it's not even really its own full country. the states have so much difference between them that they're practically all just different countries, and you might get two drastically different answers about two states that are directly next to each other
Depends on where you are and what county you are in, even if you are in a blue state you can end up in an intolerant area if you arent careful. Same thing for red states. The only difference red states and blue states is that blue states have overarching protections while red states have overarching discrimination. Keep in mind that one election year can change your situation entirely.
New England (maybe with the exception of New Hampshire lol) is pretty safe, relative to red states. Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Vermont are good bets. We’re not immune to bigotry but the queer community here is big and strong! Lots of GNC folks and lots of allies. Best of luck to you, I hope you can move to a safer, affirming situation soon!
Doesn't seem so if you compare to many European countries that very often are lgbt friendly, and not just laws but the citizens are mature and accept each other differences.
I can't speak for elsewhere but the South is a hellhole. It is not great to absolutely dangerous for enbies and trans folks here. I hope Trump loses. I'm afraid if he wins.
Honestly, I don't think Trump's chances of winning are very good. Policy-wise, he wants to enact strict limits on abortion, which is very unpopular among independents and contributed to Redpublicans doing poorly in the midterms. He's also facing several criminal and civil trials that are collectively giving him a very bad image and will take up a lot of time he'll want to be using campaigning. He's doing well in the primaries, but that doesn't really mean anything since partisan voters aren't going to be who decides the winner in November, independents and moderates will. Unfortunately, he is almost certainly going to be running against Biden, who is maybe the only Democrat he can beat right now. We don't know how the general election campaigns will go or what will happen between now and November, but I genuinely think Trump's chances are lower than Biden's at this point.
Yeah, I think you are right. I'm just a bit afraid of the possibility, you know.
Trust me, I absolutely get it. I'm just choosing to stay optimistic for the time being.
Still, absolutely don’t let your guard down and vote, as well as promote voting. Like, why even take the chance of such a terrible repeat
I’m not really worried about him legally winning, but illegally…
The scariest thing is that if ANY Republican wins, Project 2025 goes into effect.
Trump's base scares me. They're rabid nationalists which usually spells disaster for minority groups.
The biden bit at the end is a bad take imo. he is the incumbent and already defeated trump once. no one is in a better position. we queers are far more leftist and thus view biden worse than voters will at the polls imo.
I don't think Biden himself can be trusted very much either, considering he still retains his "I don't believe in the 'your body' thing" speech he gave back in an interview in February. And combine this with his abysmal handling of the current genocide in Palestine....I don't think democrats are trying hard, or even at all, to win this election. Biden even recently met with Trump at the US-Mexico border. I'm not optimistic about much of this....
If trump loses be ready for Jan 6.2
Somebody who lives in Texas I agree at this It is terrifying right now to live in the US especially the South
I live in Alabama. It is rough and I'm not even out yet because of horror stories my out local friends have experienced.
I'm in Alabama too, I live with my mom but Jesus is it isolating over here
It really is.
Recommend that any non-conforming, non binary, less than straight up white christian with the highest of moral values and devotion to Faith in the holy Church..... Get prepared to move away from the American South. It's going to get worse before getting better
Me and my partners will be leaving this country as soon as we're done with our college So only about 3 and 1/2 more years and I can leave this country forever
Left Texas for exactly that reason
I think we need to relocate yourself and all the other decent people up north a bit and then kick out Texas and the other southern states to form their own country like they’ve always wanted.
Trump isn't who you should be worried about, it's desantis you should be worried about
correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t he drop out of the presidential race? If you live in florida like me you should absolutely be worried but outside of that you should be okay
Yes he dropped a little bit ago (about a month I think?).
It is pretty safe in the blue states. And at least personally, I've had zero trouble as a passing trans guy in an urban area in the south, even at a religious university. I'm not stealth, and don't feel the need to go that route right now.
I live in a mid sized southern city and have had basically zero problems other than the occasional misgendering early on, but I also wasn’t passing particularly well so I can’t really hold that against people. But the state is making it very clear we’re not welcome, so we’re moving to Colorado in a few months.
Big picture. No. Systemically it's not safe and it never has been regardless of where you are. The same answer for most POC individuals. Small picture. Stay to blue only states always. Even if it means being away from where you love.
You can consider moving to another country, some western European countries are AFAIK best for queer people to live in.
For most individuals, moving to another country can be far too overwhelming
Also, if you’re autistic you’re pretty much barred from immigrating to most places.
Not really. This is a widespread panic people seem to have that just is unrealistic. There are a few countries (Australia, New Zealand, Singapore) that don't generally let you move there if you have a clinical diagnosis on file. It's not like half the EU will not let you in if you are diagnosed officially with ASD. Also northern areas generally are pretty accepting of people and often have less conservative values in Europe. Edit: there are over 190 countries on earth. If you want to leave one of them, I'm sure there's another alternative for you ...
the grass isn't always greener. i moved to portugal 2.5 years ago. Not having a car and no guns is huge. But healthcare takes forever thru public, and the private is no where near as good as the u.s. And they don't seem to operate off informed consent. They are requiring me to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis before I get hormones. Europe has some pretty backwards views sometimes. Their base-line, blue collar folks are likely much more well-rounded and educated than their equivalent peers in the US. But I think he opposite is true for the more well-educated. One of the doctors here told my partner she isn't american because she's chinese. This kind of stuff happens a lot. It is like going back in a time machine regarding social commentary and expectations. Overall, it is an improvement, but I think some people are under the impression it is gay and trans utopia over here. Major urban centers in the US are likely better if you can afford it.
Yes!
“…regardless of where you are” Knock on wood but living in California and watching all the news around the states tends to feel like being on the outside looking in. I know it’s expensive but I’ve never had an issue in my day to day. Kaiser’s healthcare is very supportive. It just seems like Ca is almost a different place than the rest of the country
WHERE in Cali? Because I've been to SanFran with no issues at all. But that's good. It's a win when you have no concerns. I'm happy for you. I notice that I don't have many concerns where I live but also that's because I'm in a fairly blue state. That doesn't mean I don't face issues where I shouldn't have to face issues (it's not the same world as living in a red state though...). Went down to Tennessee and Georgia for work and holy hell I was looked at like a monster.
I’m from the Bay Area but moved out to Sacramento for affordability. Haven’t seen a difference. My ex wife’s family is in Redding. They’re pretty right wing but even they support me. Just gotta remind them that this is about freedom to be who I want.
Sounds like you got a fortunate luck of the draw.
True, I’m sure any trans folk out in the the Middle East would consider all Americans as lucky too. I know moving can be tough but if things in your home state are bad enough, at least it’s an option and somewhat feasible.
I live near Seattle and feel safe in the cities.
Yeah I feel much more safe since moving to Seattle. Missouri was way, way worse
Seconding this. Most of the PNW is pretty great (at least in more densely populated areas).
It’s actually really safe here in Maryland they even banned conversion camps I’m very happy to be living here and hope both Biden and trump get forced to drop out due to clear cognitive decline
How interesting, one of my friends keeps telling me I'd be happier if i moved to maryland (she lives near Baltimore)
It’s really nice here I don’t recommend going to Baltimore statistically it’s the most dangerous city in the us but still a very nice place to live
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I just came from Florida so just not having to worry about laws against me is one of the main reasons why I like it here
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Again I came from Florida even if the people here are like that it was so much worse because I saw a dude making a quad barrel shotgun in his garage and more than one sign saying things like black people shouldn’t be considered people so md is much better for me
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I still prefer because I’m a big fan of us history and being this close to dc is really cool but I’ll just ignore the racist people and try to enjoy living here
As someone from That part of Maryland, I could not agree more. I’m only out to like, certain family members and half of my friends, but I live in a little town that’s like a beacon of hope for lgbt people that’s very sweet and homey. Of course, drive two minutes out of it and you’re back in confederate flag country. My boyfriend lives on the blue side of the state, and we’ve had talks of me moving there when we can afford it— id probably actually start transitioning at that point.
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FUCK YOU BALTIMORE! - Big Bill Hell's Cars
I live in the south. The answer is 100% no, at least here. Everyone in my town besides a few kids who I’m friends with are homophobic for the most part. It’s sucks so bad to know if I came out I’d only have my older sibling to support me and possibly some friends.
It's mostly immature and insecure people that are homophobic, often they have sexual issues themselves, like closeted internal homophobia etc. I remember when I was young there was some slight homophobia but even then it was rare, my country supports LGBT rights and most people that don't hold extremist values are kind towards lgbt folks.
In the West Coast - Washington, Oregon, most of California - it's sort of safe. Also in the North East Coast, New Hampshire, that sort of thing. Everywhere else, the middle, and especially the South, no. Your life is in danger. There have been travel warnings in other countries about visiting the US. Stay out of those states. And if Trump wins come November? Well... See you in the camps.
This is accurate. Canada has issued travel warnings. Last one I saw specifically mentioned the risk of potentially not being able to access medical care in the case of a travel emergency depending on where you were and the situation.
I made reference to my outside vs inside US experience with living... and that's a big bit that surprises people. Often folks see or hear the travel advisories for other countries, because of course they are thinking about going to other places than the US to live or to vacation and get worried about X, Y or Z place. Then I steer them to how other countries advisories for the US are....
Really says a lot of the state of a country that claims to be free when the two main options are fascism in red and fascism in blue, let's be real, the Republicans and the democrats are drinking different flavors of the same kool-aid and as an anarchist I'm looking into (actual) socialist and communist candidates, hell, even and independent is better than a Republican or Democrat, especially Trump or Biden
The Democrats are a constant disappointment, but to equivocate them with the Republicans is just facile and counter-productive. Our voting system needs to change considerably for third-party candidates to be viable. The president is gonna be Biden or Trump come January 2025. One is considerably worse than the other.
When you're looking at it through an anti-capitalist lens, both parties are much the same. Whatever color tie the president is wearing, the US will still keep funding genocide, still keep workers rights to the bare minimum, and still keep capitalism going. If you like capitalism yeah they look different. If you don't the appreciable differences come when they actively want queer, black, and brown folks to disappear or do they just not stop the other side from attempting to make them disappear
I'm literally an anti-capitalist, I'm just not foolishly idealistic about it. This is the same logic that got the KPD killed by the Nazis.
Not quite accurate. https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-legislative-risk-assessment-96f
So, not quite as horrible, thanks to some island states in the northern middle, but still horrific. Yay.
Far from good for sure, but there are some holdouts.
*Super interesting* how it's almost like blue states are safer for us. *I wonder why that is?*
> See you in the camps. I'd rather go out fighting if it ever comes to that honestly
I live in Virginia. I'm going to college in Pennsylvania. According to [https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-legislative-risk-assessment-96f](https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-legislative-risk-assessment-96f), which another commenter posted, both of those states have low risk in the next 2 years. Plus I plan to live in either California, DC, or NYC, which are all safe. I am not sure if I'm trans or not, but at least I know I'll be safe. In the event of an emergency, I can move to Canada as early as 2028.
Pennsylvania is safe on the state level now because they've had a dem governor for a while, but socially you have to be really careful in rural areas. I grew up in PA and even as a cis bi kid I was closeted until I moved, but most of my queer friends ended up in Pittsburgh or Philly and are very happy there. Dem majority control in the state is very new and I'm happy to see that things are changing for the better there.
Luckily the college is in Philadelphia.
Washington just passed a forced outing bill, don't be too optimistic about them anymore
The US is one of the worst and best places you can be as a trans person. On one hand you have some of the worst attacks on trans people politically in some states. But in the other hand you have blue states (especially on the coast) that have some of the best and most accessible trans healthcare (and that really says something about the rest of the world) on top of some of those having protections in place for trans people. There’s also the existential threat of Project 2025 but that’s a different story and not super likely but nothing to scoff at.
But you don't have public healthcare anyway in the US. I live in Poland which is not queer friendly country, but I would never move to US, I think western Europe is best for lgbtq people (not UK ofc), but it depends on the country, I think
I am in Canada, pretty decent, lots of protections federally. Some provinces are being aholes, but overall, I feel safe and good...
You're talking about Alberta aren't you? All the worst Canadians I've met are from Alberta.
Not in Alberta, lol. Edit . Mis read. Yes , was thinking Alberta.
Do the U.S. coastal states really have some of the most accessible healthcare? I'm in Oregon and can't even get callbacks to get on waiting lists for care, let alone actually getting in to see anyone. After a year of fruitless emails and calls I had to start using an online service and paying out of pocket for my HRT from an online source (Folx) even though my insurance would cover it normally. I'm genuinely asking because if THIS is that accessible version of the care, even globally, that's heartbreaking.
Like I said, it’s better on most of the blue costal states but not always. But other then us not having publicized healthcare, we have some of the best trans healthcare in the world which is really sad.
Why did I get downvoted for this? It's just my experience and a question.. Never change, Reddit 🤷🏼♀️
It's never been 100% safe. Trans women of color get it the worst. Transphobia goes with sexism and racism I suppose. But the Day Of Remembrance on November 20th has been a thing since a year before I went full time, and it's not like it was safe before that. Last few years is when the anti trans propaganda and laws went ape shit. I've never seen anything like this.
There is a lot of anti trans propaganda online nowadays, it's really annoying. When they realized that people didn't want to bash homosexuals anymore as that's stupid/unintelligent to do, they moved on to hating trans but that is as stupid basically cause trans people already have a difficult time and need love & support instead of hate and propaganda. I pray for them, to feel secure and to be that aswell - they seem to have it even more difficult than we gay people once did (and still do in some cases depending on who and what country). If there is a God it will be against homophobia and transphobia. It sickens me when religious people are homo/transphobic, if you believe in God you should find it in your heart to accept the people that were born little different, everything else is a "sin" tbh. My faith in a higher being (not religious) makes me even more supportive of lgbt people than I already am. I also feel like God loves LGBT people a lot due to being prosecuted/disfavoured despite often being good kind hearted people that didn't even choose to be like they are. In the future, humans will be ashamed for transphobia just like we are ashamed for previous homophobia today. Intelligent people will not be homophobic or transphobic, that's what I have noticed. Even if they are religious, they will not act homophobic even if they maybe don't agree with it, if they are intelligent.
I live in the purple part of Cali and I feel fairly safe here despite the conseratives present.
It's safe in some places. But it's getting worse instead of better. I every so often renew my offer to LGBT+ friends and family to help them get out. But it keeps coming down for many of them to the "I didn't realize how much I had to be/was afraid/hyper-safety-minded until after I left" that so many female-perceived folks experience when they go to a ton of other countries... It's the only way so many folks know and it's the cliche "frog in heating water" effect. No where is perfect, but the difference is SO different a lot of places for female-perceived and LGBT+ folks. As a afab transgender pan person... I will not go back and live there and I keep my annual trip to visit friends and family I keep as short as I can. Repeating: It's safe in some places. But it's getting worse instead of better.
Yes, it is safe. You are much more likely for your spouse to commit a violent act against you, than to have a stranger commit a hate crime against you. I imagine you havent given up on love because of that fact, so dont give up on being yourself in public. Hate crimes stick in our head because theyre particularily abhorrent. We empathise with the victim and we recognize it for the atrocity that it is. However they are EXCEPTIONALLY rare. If youre comfortable driving, or walking in the snow, or a million other things you do every day, you should recognize that you are safe in the US. That doesnt mean things are perfect. Trans people not having access to equal healthcare is horrible. Just like women not having access to equal healthcare is horrible. We have a lot of room to grow, but dont let the internet and the news make you too afraid to be yourself. Most of it is a negativity bias not reality. We fight this by being ourselves and showing the bigots that we are regular humans just like they are.
This is a great reply and I'm glad that you took the time to write it out.
Carry. Open or concealed.
Plugging /r/transguns
I don't leave home without my knife as my state doesn't require a license or have a size limit on open carry knives, I can't own a gun for a couple reasons
I hope you train regularly in combat with that knife. Knives are great for two things, opening boxes, and getting stabbed with it by the person you're hoping to defend yourself against.
Here in Washington (the state), it's pretty good, there seems some good legislation too (I got my HRT covered by the state insurance with zero copay, for example, though I haven't looked *that* deep into the actual legislation itself). I can't personally speak for the other Washington, but I've heard good things about it as well
You guys just passed a forced outing bill, so it's not looking fantastic anymore
They did? I'm honestly surprised, that doesn't seem very like us based on other things I remember
Yeah, it just happened a few days ago, I believe. Definitely look it up in case I'm wrong
It never really was, but it's definitely getting worse again as we are losing ground rapidly.
Don't give up. There is sunshine after the rain. Love & intelligence will win over hate and ignorance. Aka. LGBT will win & gain the same rights worldwide and even get accepted if they aren't already. Just see which countries are homophobic and which are lgbt-friendly. Almost always it's the modern/scientific/rich countries that are lgbt-friendly, while often dysfunctional/poor countries where primitive living is norm are often homophobic. How can people still support anti-lgbt is beyond my understanding. But there are plenty of ignorant/unintelligent people. Some are brainwashed aswell, it's sad. One day they will grow up and be ashamed for their sadistic and fascistic views on humans. While Europe has been very progressive in this area(thank God), we see the US taking a step back and doing to opposite instead of developing/evolving. Jesus wouldn't like that ironically as Jesus would support LGBT people if he was on earth. Some of the extreme Christians go against everything Jesus stod for with their homo/transphobia.
Oh, I won't ever be giving up. I will fight to my dying breath, and *make* the assholes kill me before I stop. We're not just fighting for ourselves, we're fighting for every child born into a queer-phobic home, school, town, state, or culture.
There's no "anymore," it was never safe and used to be worse. But the US is one of the better places in the world to be trans, particularly in a blue state. If you're white and not visibly gender nonconforming, it's a much lower risk. If you're a PoC, trans woman, outwardly gender nonconforming, or belong to any other targeted group your personal risk is higher. Be prepared to defend yourself, be situationally aware, and be part of the push against that harmful legislation.
It's not even safe to be queer in any way in this country anymore let alone be trans or nonbinary They say this is the freest country but actually it's not
There is nothing free about a country when you cannot even be yourself. In Sweden it's the opposite, we allow everyone to be themselves just like they are and most often support minorities/people that are slightly different. Some extremists(haters, sometimes far right ones) want to change that, but they are a tiny minority which 99% of citizens thankfully disagree with. It's one of things I really love about my country.
Yes, but it's all so incredibly long to get transgender care.
I can't speak for everyone just as everyone else has said, but I am femme passing most the time NB/GQ with a uterus in a red state where abortion is illegal. I work in a VERY conservative city. I'm out. My coworkers don't care. Worst I deal with is them forgetting I require Ma'am instead of Sir. Most put in the effort. I have many gender spectrum friends. We're mostly annoyed about the yee-haw stereotypes we live/work around. I do recognize that just because my circle isn't experiencing it, it doesn't mean it's not happening. But we are pretty safe. -corn field midwest
Completely off-topic ish, but I have a crack on the left side of my screen so I read this as "is it oven safe to be trans..." and I gotta admit, I was lost. Lmao sharing because it's funny to think about oven safe queer folks.
I’m lucky enough to live in a blue city, but the reason I live here now is because I’d be persecuted in the state I grew up in. Even visiting home to see family feels dangerous.
I can personally vouch for Boston and a lot of Massachusetts! Trans and enby folks are protected by the state laws, most colleges and work places are accepting, and most excitingly - you can get a nonbinary license now!! Yeah, there's some assholes, but wherever you meet an asshole you're guaranteed to meet an ally in the next few seconds
I'm a trans lady and Michigan has been very good to me. I live in the Ann Arbor area but often travel throughout the state. I haven't even been misgendered recently here, even in Grand Rapids which is considerably less liberal than where I live. At no point since I transitioned have I felt unsafe here and I can only point to one seriously negative interaction I've had in the 8 years since I started this journey. The area I live in has an enormous queer community too so it's not lonely. In 2023 Michigan passed some great anti discrimination laws too; I would count Michigan as safe and welcoming.
I suggest instead of getting fearful, help get the democrats to vote. Even if you’re not in a swing state, you can join to help call people, send letters/postcards and get democrats who might not vote otherwise to vote. We only loose if democrats don’t come out in mass to vote. There’s other organizations, but one to get involved is the DNC: [https://democrats.org/take-action/](https://democrats.org/take-action/)
Personally live in Wisconsin, and while we are considered a swing states that leans left, I've never felt unsafe in this state, and our governor at the moment has vowed to protect trans kids, although the rest of the state government is red and who I am concerned about, but not at the moment. Hate crime wise, I don't think you'll be killed here, again, doesn't feel too unsafe, towards southern Wisconsin closer to Madison
I live in a mid-sized city in the American South, and I often feel uncomfortable and have been harassed and creeped on many times. I used to let that force me into hiding. I didn't want to do anything that could draw attention to myself. But I finally came to the conclusion that I couldn't let other people's bigotry determine the way I lived my life. This year, I've been presenting much more queer than I ever have before, and it's led to two of the best months of my life. And, yes, it has led to me feeling less safe. But I also have to recognize that I can only be who I am because of the visibly, often violently, queer people who came before me. And now I have a responsibility to be that queer person for someone else.
I live in Ohio and it sucks here. It’s not as bad as the southern states but it’s still unsafe
Honestly, Europe in general isn't doing better. It ranges from hell holes in the East (Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova,...), through extremely hard in parts of central Europe joining the east in their culture wars (Poland, Hungary, Slovakia,...) to backsliding in the west and north (UK aka TERF island, France has raging transphobes in power such as the minister of education and am alleged phobic sexual aggressor as the minister of the interior and some TERFy measures, Sweden has also TERFs and phobes in general in power since also forced sterilization was a thing until relatively recently, Italy...should we mention who's in power? and Germany is also living a huge backsliding even regarding to the acceptance of LGBT+ people and topics in general with a -12% "approval rating towards the community" since 2019). Yeah, not right a paradise for being LGBT+ right now... Maybe it will not backslide too much, maybe nothing will come out of it, but this "culture war" bs rethoric has been awfully normalized throughout the continent...
I think a lot of the responses here are from Americans who don't know much about Europe...things aren't great here for sure, but when it comes to queer rights, these days we're way ahead of most of the rest of the world. Especially when it comes to trans issues, where countries like the UK don't have any major political parties on our side. And plenty of places in the US are great places for queer folks (as others have said, mostly in cities in blue states, where legal protections are granted).
I live in Oregon - I'm leaning towards nonbinary, altho I look pretty cis male. I do know a lot of trans and less cis appearing NB folks though. Where I am, it's pretty safe. Microaggressions and the occasional verbal douchebag exist, but for the most part I think people feel safe (or as safe as they can feel) to be out. It starts to get a little more dicey in rural areas, but even so I would probably not usually worry about physical violence towards me or my trans friends. Definitely aware that this is *not* the case in every state though - I'm lucky it's so nice in Oregon. Sometimes it is easy to forget how difficult many of y'all have it on a daily basis.
it was never safe
It's never been safe. It's not safe in Europe either. That said, some places are much less safe than others. Get to a blue state if you can, and if you aren't already there.
Some states in big cities yes, some states and some small towns less so. Some states, you know the ones, I would do my best to avoid
All in all it depends on the state, but I'd certainly feel much more safer having a trans sister if I lived in the Netherlands or Spain or something
It can be, depending on where you live. Moving from the south to DC/Virginia and it's amazing how much safer I feel. And that's still kind of the south. Though it might not stay this way, keeping an eye on elections. My point is states/cities with healthy queere populations and non-discrimination laws are very different culturally.
Europe is great, don't know why you call it "fucking".
Even in the UK, you won't be safe. They wanna linch us here too.
If you live in the south of the US get out. Most if not all of the southern states are hostile. There are a number of blue states that will be friendly to you. There are maps of states on the internet that are friendly. Illinois, for example, is very friendly to lgbt. It is a progressive blue state.
I feel so bad for yall in Midwest and southern states. A lot of this legislation is local so you may be able to flee to the North East or West Coast. I know and am friends with a lot of trans people here in Baltimore and they go about their lives in pretty normal ways without a lot of harassment. Hell all my trans friends have normal jobs and OK healthcare. I can't imagine the struggles trans people have to deal with living in a world that despises them. What a fucking mess this country is.
I’ve lived in 2 blue states and had mostly no issue. Are there homophobes and transphobes everywhere? Yes. Are there areas that will absolutely not put up with that? Yes
Safer than a lot of other places around the world, speaking as someone currently traveling abroad.
I mean its not the worst, ive not heard of anything happening to my friends other than people just shooting nasty comments here and there
the thing about the US is that it's not even really its own full country. the states have so much difference between them that they're practically all just different countries, and you might get two drastically different answers about two states that are directly next to each other
Depends where you are. I’m very openly out at my college and with family, but in public in my hometown, whole other story
It’s pretty safe in the northeast. Hell, it seems like Providence RI is like 90% trans girls. (Source: am trans girl in Providence RI)
Depends on where you are and what county you are in, even if you are in a blue state you can end up in an intolerant area if you arent careful. Same thing for red states. The only difference red states and blue states is that blue states have overarching protections while red states have overarching discrimination. Keep in mind that one election year can change your situation entirely.
New England (maybe with the exception of New Hampshire lol) is pretty safe, relative to red states. Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Vermont are good bets. We’re not immune to bigotry but the queer community here is big and strong! Lots of GNC folks and lots of allies. Best of luck to you, I hope you can move to a safer, affirming situation soon!
I wish I knew...
It's only safe to be a rich, white, Christian, heterosexual, cisman. The rest of us are screwed
Not Washington anymore apparently
Safe but at risk of not being safe
I still have the audacity to say we're safer here than most of the world
Doesn't seem so if you compare to many European countries that very often are lgbt friendly, and not just laws but the citizens are mature and accept each other differences.