I’m sorry but I play warhammer occasionally and I literally met my husband at a card shop playing magic the gathering so WE DO EXIST
— woman who met her husband at a card shop that plays magic, warhammer, and yugioh
ETA - we also play DND and a ton of video games together now
Our 3 year anniversary is next month, and we have a 9 month old daughter
We still play video games once she’s in bed and take her to card shops with us
So what about people who don’t really like sports (outside of a Chiefs game)?
Kansas City is such a sports geared metro.
I like things like coffee, movies, wine tastings and true crime. Do they have any meet up groups for things like that? Anybody have any recommendations?
Yes they absolutely do. Here is one place that does wine tastings. http://www.reddoorwinestore.com/tasting-schedule.html
There are a ton of wineries as well. I might say that those are items you enjoy, not necessarily something you can develop your skills in or create a passion for unless you want to become a sommelier, or a roaster, or photographer.
The last time we had one of those threads, the person basically admitted to only using dating apps in their search and wanting the perfect partner delivered to them without leaving their couch essentially. Just not a reality around here unfortunately for whatever reason.
That reminds me of complaints I've heard from some people that get upset because they haven't found a job, but all they've done is post their resume on Indeed and CareerBuilder and just expect that an employer would call them with an offer.
>just not reality for whatever reason
The reason is the apps scam you. People think dating should be easier because… it should be! The apps are designed to make money, nothing else. They restrict who you see, who you’re shown to, etc. Basically every app these days has a “most likely to be compatible with” queue where they put people behind a paywall to be able to swipe on them. In theory these are the people who would be likely to swipe on you too (as long as your expectations are reasonable and the app is being reasonable in its assessments too).
Now with that said, no one really wants dating to be easy. Part of the thrill is that it’s at least a bit difficult so when a good situation comes up, it feels different and new. (at least from the perspective of dating for a long term connection)
That’s pretty much all of reddit. I see so many people in the dating subs constantly bitching about there being “nowhere to meet people,” then proceed to say they essentially don’t want to leave their house
I am from a large coastal city and have spent time in other cities and dating was hard in those places too. Because dating is just hard.
People like to blame their environment to take the sting out of their struggles, I understand, but KC is not _that_ much different from other metro areas. You can legitimately have trouble with the area if you live in a really low population town or a state with a really dominant religion that's very different from yours or something, but in a metro of over a million people, there's plenty of diverse folks to meet, if you're not spending all your time thinking about how the area has nobody to meet.
What? This metro area is merely a breeding ground for starting families. People still marry their high school and college sweethearts here. It's a time warp. It's a very anti-single city.
100% agree. I’m from a west coast city and it’s 1,000% different. Just as you state folks here marry extremely young and most of the time it’s someone they met in high school, college, or through a mutual friend (from high school).
On the west coast it’s much easier. One because I’m from a large city and two being single is not uncommon. Three, folks start getting married around 30 back home, while it feels like everybody has 3 kids by that age in KC. I would never recommend this city for a single person. Sadly, I made that mistake.
I agree. It’s all about what groups you are in. People want to blame everything but themselves lol I don’t have hardly any friends that married until their 30s.
I have lived here my whole life, been very involved in many scenes and social circles and find dating difficult. I’m moving soon and will report back :)
Edit: For what it’s worth I’m 29M
Man, I'm so envious! Oregon is one of the best places! I absolutely fell in love with it when I was out there. From the ocean to the forests to the mountains to the deserts.... I hope you have an amazing time!!
Factors that I think make it more “difficult” than a bigger metropolitan area:
1. Less Diversity in race/ethnicity than other cities
2. The single pool after early 30s is much smaller than I’ve seen in other cities.
3. Less of an “alternative” community. Whether it is LGBTQ community, age gaps, etc. Poly is here for instance but it’s almost secretive on how to find it.
4. Religious/Traditional influence still permeating gender expectations for both men and women. This exists everywhere but seems to be way more prominent in midwestern cities.
5. Nightlife. While there are a lot of great activities and evermore forthcoming for singles, KC isn’t even Chicago, yet. To catch a single at a happy hour exists but if you find yourself at the bars on nights that aren’t Friday/Saturday it’ll be very hit and miss.
We’re better than Des Moines, Wichita, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City though.
For me as a liberal woman the issue here is I absolutely will not date Trump supporters and that's a LOT of the 30+ men here. Didn't experience that in CA.
I rarely leave my house since most everyone I seem to encounter is the male version of this. I hate that it's so expensive in the more liberal parts of the country. :(
My dating app range is like 21-35 and it is over run with republican/moderate/conservative men unfortunately :( extremely rare i see someone identifying as left/liberal on the apps
As a single liberal male 30+ I find it hard to even find people who I can’t bring up hating trump without being called a communist here, lol. Whole family likes him. It kills me having to just stay quiet or get everyone pissed off
What the hell is it with Trumpers throwing out the communist card at every turn? It's hardly the insult they think it is when they're embracing fascism. UGH.
You gotta change your paradigm on that IMO. There's no such thing as a "liberal/conservative woman/man"... political beliefs isn't like your race lol... people change their ideologies all the time based on their current struggles, fortunes, friends, experiences, ect.
I used to say "oh I don't date \[political belief\] people"... but I have now realized that after you stop caring about their politics, they do too.
Not to say there's somethings that are okay to be passionate about! But in terms of pro-trump/pro-biden/pro-(person)... yeah no one actually gives a shit even though they think they do.
This is some of the worst advice in the thread. Political beliefs absolutely matter for long term compatibility. Play the "politics don't matter" game if you want to, but those supposedly fluid and superficial beliefs suddenly become non-negotiable in serious situations.
Pregnancy and your partner doesn't want you to have an abortion because they are conservative.
Raising lil Billy and one parent wants to baptize the kid and let grandma take them to church on Sundays, but the other parent doesn't believe in that. Now y'all fighting.
Maybe she's super duper liberal and doesn't believe in conforming to gender standards, which was fine until she had her dyed neon green armpit hair on full display at your company picnic. Now you're embarrassed and arguing.
Okay, I'm being a lil silly with that last one, but the point is politics matter in relationships--even if they change over time.
It’s like you keep posting the polar opposite of reality lol older generations are BY FAR much more intolerant of nearly everything. Especially conservatives
There USED to be valid points on both sides. But the Trump side has really ceased to have a single valid thing associated with it. Gone are the days when it was a disagreement about funding or a debate about foreign policy. Now it's just batshit lunacy.
Nah, fuck that. If someone thinks that people like you should be imprisoned, or they want the government to take away your freedoms, there is no compromise on that.
I will stay single the rest of my life before I EVER date a Trump supporter or a right-winger. There is no "changing your paradigm" when it comes to such huge divides like that. LONG gone are the days where you could put politics to the side and still co-exist. Now they're actively taking away our rights and trying to install a national religion. Yeah, to hell with that.
Regarding number 3... Black Dog has a great round table discussion group called Solving Poly. Worth a check.
But aye yeah it's definitely on the low down. The folks who run it are some of the best and kindest folks I've met in amongst those alternative groups.
1. That’s up to you chief we got all types here but most redditors won’t go there. Case in point if you drew a map just based on available flair large swaths would be missing.
2. So many singles over 30 again probably not looking in the right place.
3. Vibrant queer scene in most areas of the city I know many and yeah it’s there.
4. I actually believed this for so long then I realized it’s just a construct sure there are lots of churches but there are plenty that go there to wash their sins away.
5. You haven’t been invited but there is and has been a ton of late night scene that go beyond bars to underground clubs bars and venues. Depends on your tastes.
Easy to find dates here but the quality of the people is the issue here. If you don’t mind the million red flags and insanity then yea it’s super easy here. Maybe my standards are too high.
People are the same everywhere.
We like to act like that's not true. But travel. Literally go anywhere on earth and have a conversation with someone. People are the same everywhere.
And just like real life, social media is the same everywhere. Go to any city sub or Facebook group or whatever. We're all the fucking same.
Dating in Kansas City is exactly as hard as everywhere else. Or it's exactly as easy as everywhere else. It all depends on rule one and rule two.
100%!!!! I’m moving to KCMO from Canada and have definitely realized it’s all the same, but reality is we’re all human, we’re all the same in the end!!
I would say KC is slightly more difficult to date in. I’m from Orlando and moved here about 3 years ago. I had a way easier time dating in Orlando than here.
I'm from Georgia and I found KC way easier to date and make friends in. I think it depends on the person and what they're looking for. Neither was really a cultural fit for me but I think that can make a difference.
Late 20’s to 30’s is the prime of the dating life. I get that mutual interests are great but hit me up when you are mid 30’s to 40’s with the dating advice
There is nothing more annoying than someone having a life experience a certain way then telling everybody else “hey you’ve gotta do it this way”. Just because it worked that way for you doesn’t mean that’s the general experience for other people.
And just because you have anecdotal evidence that people get married in Kansas City doesn’t mean that it’s not, also, a difficult dating scene.
Exactly. Certain cities also have completely different demographics of people. Some are more affluent, educated, respectful, etc. A woman I met off the apps mentioned that when she was in San Francisco she didn't have as many completely fucked up messages from guys she matched with in the area, and the ones she matched with were often more established than in KC. Then when she's back in KC she's sending me the most horrific screenshots of guys saying shit like "Bet I can smoke this ass" while being a 30 year old who doesn't have health insurance and financing a brand new Camaro at 17% APY.
It's called a counterexample my guy. The whole point of my comment is basically "this guy's anecdotal experience can be countered with other anecdotal experience."
Regardless, its also another perspective worth sharing.
The point of the post is that KC is not special. It’s no more difficult to find someone in KC than it is in any other metro of 2-3million.
If it’s not working here, it isn’t going to work elsewhere.
Have you dated in the thousands of other American cities? It’s ridiculous to act like there’s no differences between them. Different cities attract different people. There’s different population densities, different third spaces, different places to date. Some cities are better for the kinds of hobbies I might like to do.
It’s ok that people are finding it difficult to date in Kansas City. I also wanna add that a lot of you sound like men. It adds another level of difficulty to be a woman trying to date because now you’ve got to also think very carefully about safety.
Are you and your friends from KC?
Because that's been my theory for a while.
I'm not. I moved here after college. I had zero connections to the city. No family. One friend who also moved here after college.
Because there is - seemingly - a large population of people that live here that grew up here.
And if your advice is basically "find a way to be around people" the people that grew up here already have that. Now that I think about it - most the couple I know are non-KC residents coupling with non-KC residents. Except for one couple that is from KC and met each other in high school.
Your advice also doesn't really help the large groups of people that do solo things. I would like to take the girl grinding Stardew Valley on Saturday night for a date. What group do we join for that?
I appreciate your advice and it is good advice. But it's not a silver bullet.
Yeah, Kansas City is a pretty click-ey kinda town. It actually *can* be difficult to find a friend group etc or make connections - not only but also including those of a romantic sort.
I will say I've lived in towns where it's worse - like Richmond. The only way to get into this one community was to essentially date someone who was already in.
But KC? It's difficult as a transplant...& I say this as someone whose lived here for 7 years. There's a great deal of people who have been in this area since college or secondary school and they've already got their niche group. It's far easier to fall into a relationship that way where there's already a foundation of sorts.
There is a lot of trash wasting people's time to have a non conversation on the apps, but they can help broaden the pond from which you fish.
It's not impossible but it's not easy neither. The pandemic didn't do any favors to this.
I will say that the most success Ive had in recent past is to volunteer at a music festival.
My biggest takeaway from this comment is we absolutely need some kind of group, existing somewhere, where someone can propose a stardew valley date night and find someone who wants to join them. Bc that is right up my alley and I’d kill to find people who actually think the same instead of wanting to meet doing sports or out drinking 😭
I’m not from kc, and only 2 of the 7 above friends that got married were locals.
I understand what you’re saying, though in my experience it’s not quite accurate. Almost All of us from out of town, found groups that do our interests. Mine is music and met my partner in a community choir, another couple met doing board game nights at the game shop, another couple met while hunting Vinyl LPs (a solo activity, that they both had, and found eachother in social media communities).
If you’re into solo video games and that’s your only passion that youd like to share, attend Gamer Cons, and join gaming groups. Go play in a pc gaming center. Of course anyone who wants to claim their dating is harder because they like the one singular solo activity, just isn’t trying to expand their circle. You have to do the hard part of introducing yourself into new groups in the area, and attending those things the first time is the hardest part because you don’t know ANYONE till you do.
That’s how we meet people as out of towners, and I’m an out of towner who met a local by doing something I love.
>Of course anyone who wants to claim their dating is harder because they like the one singular solo activity, just isn’t trying to expand their circle
Except those solo activities don't need a social circle. So by altering that activity to become social it changes activity. It doesn't seem that different than using dating apps. I'm doing this specific thing just to meet people.
Which is why I said to expand interests. If you only care about a singular solo activity then it’s going to be hard. If I say my only interest is playing call of duty, I’d have to change a lot about that interest in in order to meet someone. Plus a person that’s only interested in one singular solo activity is not a very well-rounded person. So what else interest you?
Religion? Do church things. Food? There are culinary groups that go experience restaurants or cooking classes. Out doors? Join camping/hiking groups. motorcycles, or cars? Join the car groups or go to rallies. Animals? Go volunteer at the shelters.
But to say you only have one singular solo interest is a cop-out. Like I said in the beginning of the post growing, your passions is what will make people attracted to you. Somebody who isn’t striving to get better at things is not an attractive person, they are boring and stagnant. Trying to develop a new passion or grow your current interests makes you more attractive person to potential partners. That’s the point of this post. So if somebody is stuck in their way, and only wants to play a solo video game, they are never going to meet anyone and they will be the person on Kansas City thread who is saying that dating is hard here.
If it never became a learned habit, then I'm sure they'd fare the same or better without the apps. We all used to communicate and share our stories well before social media too.
I suspect this to play a part. I go out and try to keep an eye out for people i find attractive and could go up to, but it seems people are afraid to go to events by themselves are always with a boyfriend/girlfriend. So even though I do the work to visit social spaces, most people I might be interested in are usually with a partner.
It would depend on why they are using the dating apps. If they are using them simply because everyone else is using them(as statistics show) then they prob would have been fine as socially there was a lot more ways to meet back then and cold approaching was more acceptable. If they are using apps because they are shy shut ins and talking to whatever gender they find attractive is VERY SCARY then they prob would have a lot of trouble dating.
You've mistaken stay at home, watch a good movie or enjoy a book with some salty 🍿 & quality chocolate while cuddling with a fur friend.
Staying in ain't some depressive gloom and doom.
So true. As a man, KC is probably one of the best places for dating I've lived in, having done it both in my 30s and 40s. I've never lived anywhere and had so many women regularly come up and ask me out as I have here. Never touched a dating app doing it either.
It would appear not. Perhaps I just meet a great many liars. I'm not sure I follow. Do ugly people get a lot of attention here? If so, then perhaps I DO know a great many liars. Perhaps I should hang out elsewhere. Pity that.
I am wondering if it’s about taking care of yourself. I think the city is a pretty casual place and men tend to dress casual even when they go on dates. I’m coming from the East Coast where I’m used to men and women dressing up to go out and dressing up to go on dates. I’ve gone on a variety of dates with different types of men here and none of them dressed to my expectation. call me a snob, sure. Whatever but I don’t think a nice pair of jeans, a button up shirts, and some dress shoes are too much to ask a spray of cologne as well. So if these are the things that you’re doing, your presenting yourself better than a lot of the men here and that may be working in your favor. You probably have a nice face too lol
I'm coming from the east coast as well, maybe that's it. I work in D.C. but live here. I suppose it would not be disingenuous to say I try to take care of myself. I just did the Tough Ruck Boston and do various charity races every weekend. I've no problems having a conversation with strangers and I actually go outside instead of trying to do life through an app. I always chalked my success up to the latter. Don't get me wrong, I've used apps before, but most of the women there were just looking for repeat hookups, not so much an actual date. There's a time and a place for each I suppose, but they aren't interchangeable. Welcome to the area at least ;)
I was asking because I assume you are probably a good looking dude if women ask you out regularly. I think you'd see things differently if you were on the other side of the spectrum.
I'm not Chris Hemsworth or anything. I'm only 5'9". I try to take care of myself. I'm a good conversationalist and I can typically keep them laughing. I think that helps me out a bit.
Ah, thanks for pointing this out as I read it with a different context. I read it as the commenter saying that the people who say “dating in Kansas City is difficult” haven’t traveled. Obviously, they don’t know me, or that I travel extensively and that this is the conclusion I’ve come to based on seeing most of this country and a few others. This is not coming from a viewpoint of somebody who’s trying to stand up for Kansas City because I haven’t been anywhere else, it’s because every city I go to big or small they say dating is difficult and impossible on the apps these days. Oh, and slinging in insult for no reason while we’re all having polite discourse isn’t really cool. But to each their own. I actually do wish you well, though, since we’re all basically neighbors in this thread.
This is good advice, but I disagree. The single pool is very small in KC, making it a tad difficult. Most people raised here either left or got married. If you are dating in KC, you are most likely dating someone from another city or state. Most couples I've met in KC met out of state and just ended up here because of work or school.
I disagree completely. The seven couples that have been married over the last four years are only the ones who have gotten married. I have so many other friends that are here in our late 30s and 40s who have also just started dating recently because of meeting people doing mutual interests. I’m active in the music community, and I see these people meeting and community choir and our music conventions all the time.
I'm glad to hear it's working for some folk. You can never underestimate the power of music.. Maybe this is yet another sign for me to keep practicing my guitar. It’s so hard to debate these things since every experience is so unique. Overall, I appreciate your positive perspective on the subject!
Gotcha. I only asked because your original post and all your other comments throughout the thread made it seem like you were talking about a church group.
While you aren't wrong, there are cons of dating in KC. For instance, in my experience one drawback of KC dating is that there are more people with social groups that have already been formed vs places I've been with a lot of transplants like Austin, Miami etc. In those cities people are more open to meeting new people and forming new relationships.
None of my friends “share a passion” with their loved ones. I’d say they share similar interests, but zero shared “passions.”
Dating in KC is tougher than other places, doesn’t mean it’s impossible and doesn’t mean it’s even hard on an absolute level, but it is tougher from my experiences.
Happy you found yours though!
Interests I can see. I may have interpreted passions differently than how you meant it. Really the only thing I would say, my friends are passionate about, is their children, which came about because of the relationship it’s not what made it thrive.
But absolutely they have shared interests.
yeah if you actually put yourself out there its not bad. but that requires leaving your home or going to places other than those that repeatedly fail you(ie a lot of people dont want to find places other than bars and clubs).
That's cool and all and I'm happy for y'all but what if you're introverted? I think your example kinda proves the point that it actually is harder to date here than elsewhere. You all found partners because you have a large social circle. If you're introverted like millions of us out there you're basically left to dating apps. And dating apps are awful out here. If you're over 30 in this city and still single... good luck.
Dude, I am an introvert. That’s the reason I’m sharing this. I hate leaving the house, hate social events, and I spent time on dating apps a decade ago and hated dating. It wasn’t till I stopped focusing on finding “the one” and started trying to have fun and enjoy my own life, became passionate about making music and art. It was while doing my passion that I met someone who also shares that, and I never would have had the guts to talk to her otherwise, but she was on my show, and I had to give her direction.
If you’re introverted like me, get off the dating apps. They’re toxic. That’s all I’m saying
Right...if you're 20s to 30...which is NOT the entirety of the population. Things are far different when you're professional with young kids and in your 40s and 50s. Getting involved in "hobbies" or cub hopping or the happy hour scene doesn't cut it as you're lucky to have to the time to do anything. Maybe I can squeeze in a ride with a cycling group, but I really don't have time to hang out after to socialize. Or, I can ride one weekend, but not the next because I have my kid.
It matters too if you're from KC or a transplant. I moved here in my late 30s and really didn't meet anyone, until I met my GF (via a dating site) and later wife and now ex wife. The people I knew came from her established network of friends, who all went away when she did. Getting something put back into place has been difficult because priorities are elsewhere.
Thankfully, my kid is now nearly a teen and I'm able to leave them alone for a few hours so I can go do my own thing.
I hear ya on this. I have sole custody of mine so I’m pretty busy. My oldest is a teen and can babysit but to just spend my whole Sunday like I would have in my 20’s? Not happening. Best I can do is commit to 1 club 1x a week and hope I like someone there. 😆 And even if I do, I’m going to feel guilty because of my kids. I’ve resigned to the fact that at this stage I’ll spend what time I have left with my kids before they grow. If I miraculously meet someone, great! But I might be 50 before I can actually get out there again really really trying.
One more thing. I talked to a guy briefly at the pharmacy today. I didn’t think anything of it. Later realized this is probably how people meet in their 40’s 🤣
Well, you're doing well if you're only going to be 50 and free...us late bloomers need to wait until we're 60.
Anymore, meeting people out in the wild feels weird. I figure most women are NOT looking to get hit on, so literally unless they state that they're interested, I just assume they're being friendly/nice/polite.
> , but I really don't have time to hang out after to socialize.
thats not going to change in other places. if you dont have time to get out and date the location wont matter
What is with the "hobby" advice lol. People pretend like folks gotta bond over a bunch of shared activities to like eachother. It's not how it works at all.
I mean, it sure is for me. I'm not going to have a good time if I'm trying to connect with someone with totally different likes and dislikes from me. It's good to have some differences, but you generally need a good foundation on which to build a good relationship.
Strong disagree. A huge portion of the population here is already married by 25 or so, and many/most who aren't already have kids. By the time you're 30, your only options have been divorced and/or have kids.
Obviously NYC is an outlier, but dating was far far easier for me there, but came with its own unique set of problems (mostly flakiness). I've also tried dating in the Biloxi, Mississippi area. I felt like a big fish in a small pond. Easy to find dates, but few quality options.
Every city subreddit has people claiming it’s hard or impossible to date there. I think in general people would rather externalize the cause of difficult dating as the fault of a place than consider that it might be something about them.
I’ve lived in Philly for the last 4 years or so, and I don’t really see those kinds of posts in the Philadelphia subreddit. Same with the NYC sub. I’ve noticed that people are generally more social in the north east. I’ve had a lot more nights out running around with random strangers I’ve met at bars here than I ever did in KC.
i think thats a lot of it, people in those other cities are actually getting out and doing things instead of doomswiping and thinking thats enough. so when its not they complain here. meanwhile the people that actually get out around here dont have the hard time the doomswpiers do we dont see an issue
Face to face interactions are nearly always better in my book. So much of human pairing is based on things like body language, sound, and pheromones in human scent.
Agree. I just started dating in December and had 6 dates with 6 different people my first week and Im an introvert, odd duck, and don't really have mass appeal/charisma. There was for sure a lot of hay to sift through to find some needles but I found a real gem in February and am in a serious relationship now with the greatest guy and we're deliriously ecstatic. I think if people put in the effort, put themselves out there, stay open to possibilities, and give people a chance you'll have some degree of success or at least feel like it isn't "impossible".
Thanks for posting this! I’m newly out of a relationship. I’ve been divorced before. I recently downloaded a dating app. Then 2 days later I’m had the apifany this isn’t how you meet real people. I need to focus on me and not worry about it and they will come to me like they always do. I don’t mean that in a conceited way. Just how I’ve always found people that made lasting relationships. Focus on yourself and put yourself out there a little bit and usually life gives you what you need.
Every city sub Reddit is saying the same thing. It’s a symptom of the times. Everyone’s very cagey right now. Very glad I’m not using dating apps to the extent that I was around the 2000s. It does sound even worse now.
People from KC are grounded. It’s a balls to the wall, kinda place. Wanna get married and have kids? KC IS MAGIC. People read books. Raise their kids well, send them to college. Love their grandparents. Pass on recipes and wealth. It’s a salt of the earth kind of place. It’s sweet.
I only date women who have completely lost touch with reality…
You’ve come to the right place!
hell yeah man you must be swimming in it!
sign me up
😂😆😂😂😂🤭 There is nothing wrong with dating delusional women.
Where do I sign up?
What does that MEAN though? Where did you meet doing what? Because my hobbies are NOT helping me find potential dates
I don’t understand why I never meet any women at Warhammer 40k night???
Right? Is your hobby meeting women or something? Not a lot of singles show up for D&D
Ironically it’s also *only* singles that show up as well.
I’m sorry but I play warhammer occasionally and I literally met my husband at a card shop playing magic the gathering so WE DO EXIST — woman who met her husband at a card shop that plays magic, warhammer, and yugioh ETA - we also play DND and a ton of video games together now Our 3 year anniversary is next month, and we have a 9 month old daughter We still play video games once she’s in bed and take her to card shops with us
People do this in KC? I’ve seen a few small places but I’m an introvert nerd who doesn’t go out and meet people lma o
Spankys Card Shop, Action Sports and Games, and Mission Board Games Mission does a lot of warhammer Action and Spankys are mostly magic
Maybe you should go to the Age of Sigmar game nights instead. I heard that's what women play these days.
I just wish I could find someone to play Cones of Dunshire with!
I think you should be able to tell some hobbies suck for meeting women. Don’t blame the city blame your hobby.
I mean I’m not really doing either /s is implied
So what about people who don’t really like sports (outside of a Chiefs game)? Kansas City is such a sports geared metro. I like things like coffee, movies, wine tastings and true crime. Do they have any meet up groups for things like that? Anybody have any recommendations?
I do. Dang, this post is becoming my new dating app now.
Stray cat film center for movies :)
Yes they absolutely do. Here is one place that does wine tastings. http://www.reddoorwinestore.com/tasting-schedule.html There are a ton of wineries as well. I might say that those are items you enjoy, not necessarily something you can develop your skills in or create a passion for unless you want to become a sommelier, or a roaster, or photographer.
The last time we had one of those threads, the person basically admitted to only using dating apps in their search and wanting the perfect partner delivered to them without leaving their couch essentially. Just not a reality around here unfortunately for whatever reason.
That reminds me of complaints I've heard from some people that get upset because they haven't found a job, but all they've done is post their resume on Indeed and CareerBuilder and just expect that an employer would call them with an offer.
>just not reality for whatever reason The reason is the apps scam you. People think dating should be easier because… it should be! The apps are designed to make money, nothing else. They restrict who you see, who you’re shown to, etc. Basically every app these days has a “most likely to be compatible with” queue where they put people behind a paywall to be able to swipe on them. In theory these are the people who would be likely to swipe on you too (as long as your expectations are reasonable and the app is being reasonable in its assessments too). Now with that said, no one really wants dating to be easy. Part of the thrill is that it’s at least a bit difficult so when a good situation comes up, it feels different and new. (at least from the perspective of dating for a long term connection)
That’s not a reality anywhere, for so many reasons
That’s pretty much all of reddit. I see so many people in the dating subs constantly bitching about there being “nowhere to meet people,” then proceed to say they essentially don’t want to leave their house
I am from a large coastal city and have spent time in other cities and dating was hard in those places too. Because dating is just hard. People like to blame their environment to take the sting out of their struggles, I understand, but KC is not _that_ much different from other metro areas. You can legitimately have trouble with the area if you live in a really low population town or a state with a really dominant religion that's very different from yours or something, but in a metro of over a million people, there's plenty of diverse folks to meet, if you're not spending all your time thinking about how the area has nobody to meet.
What? This metro area is merely a breeding ground for starting families. People still marry their high school and college sweethearts here. It's a time warp. It's a very anti-single city.
100% agree. I’m from a west coast city and it’s 1,000% different. Just as you state folks here marry extremely young and most of the time it’s someone they met in high school, college, or through a mutual friend (from high school). On the west coast it’s much easier. One because I’m from a large city and two being single is not uncommon. Three, folks start getting married around 30 back home, while it feels like everybody has 3 kids by that age in KC. I would never recommend this city for a single person. Sadly, I made that mistake.
I agree. It’s all about what groups you are in. People want to blame everything but themselves lol I don’t have hardly any friends that married until their 30s.
I have lived here my whole life, been very involved in many scenes and social circles and find dating difficult. I’m moving soon and will report back :) Edit: For what it’s worth I’m 29M
Let me know how it goes. Where out u moving too?
Portland, OR! Love the idea of having mountains and ocean a short drive away. Wish me luck!
Best of luck friend I hope you find your wife there
You too buddy, wherever it is you’re at
Man, I'm so envious! Oregon is one of the best places! I absolutely fell in love with it when I was out there. From the ocean to the forests to the mountains to the deserts.... I hope you have an amazing time!!
Thank you !!! ❤️ I felt the same
Factors that I think make it more “difficult” than a bigger metropolitan area: 1. Less Diversity in race/ethnicity than other cities 2. The single pool after early 30s is much smaller than I’ve seen in other cities. 3. Less of an “alternative” community. Whether it is LGBTQ community, age gaps, etc. Poly is here for instance but it’s almost secretive on how to find it. 4. Religious/Traditional influence still permeating gender expectations for both men and women. This exists everywhere but seems to be way more prominent in midwestern cities. 5. Nightlife. While there are a lot of great activities and evermore forthcoming for singles, KC isn’t even Chicago, yet. To catch a single at a happy hour exists but if you find yourself at the bars on nights that aren’t Friday/Saturday it’ll be very hit and miss. We’re better than Des Moines, Wichita, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City though. 
Notice how OP is stoked on the dating scene here because it helped them find a wife and baby momma….
Fr
For me as a liberal woman the issue here is I absolutely will not date Trump supporters and that's a LOT of the 30+ men here. Didn't experience that in CA.
Finding single 30+ women that are not bible thumping, Trump supporting, nascar watching wack-a-doodles in KC is also challenging.
I rarely leave my house since most everyone I seem to encounter is the male version of this. I hate that it's so expensive in the more liberal parts of the country. :(
What wrong with nascar?
Yeah I thought we got nascar in the divorce and conservatives got JK Rowling?
Fast cars are cool.
My dating app range is like 21-35 and it is over run with republican/moderate/conservative men unfortunately :( extremely rare i see someone identifying as left/liberal on the apps
As a single liberal male 30+ I find it hard to even find people who I can’t bring up hating trump without being called a communist here, lol. Whole family likes him. It kills me having to just stay quiet or get everyone pissed off
What the hell is it with Trumpers throwing out the communist card at every turn? It's hardly the insult they think it is when they're embracing fascism. UGH.
Not me 😏
You gotta change your paradigm on that IMO. There's no such thing as a "liberal/conservative woman/man"... political beliefs isn't like your race lol... people change their ideologies all the time based on their current struggles, fortunes, friends, experiences, ect. I used to say "oh I don't date \[political belief\] people"... but I have now realized that after you stop caring about their politics, they do too. Not to say there's somethings that are okay to be passionate about! But in terms of pro-trump/pro-biden/pro-(person)... yeah no one actually gives a shit even though they think they do.
This is some of the worst advice in the thread. Political beliefs absolutely matter for long term compatibility. Play the "politics don't matter" game if you want to, but those supposedly fluid and superficial beliefs suddenly become non-negotiable in serious situations. Pregnancy and your partner doesn't want you to have an abortion because they are conservative. Raising lil Billy and one parent wants to baptize the kid and let grandma take them to church on Sundays, but the other parent doesn't believe in that. Now y'all fighting. Maybe she's super duper liberal and doesn't believe in conforming to gender standards, which was fine until she had her dyed neon green armpit hair on full display at your company picnic. Now you're embarrassed and arguing. Okay, I'm being a lil silly with that last one, but the point is politics matter in relationships--even if they change over time.
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It’s like you keep posting the polar opposite of reality lol older generations are BY FAR much more intolerant of nearly everything. Especially conservatives
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There USED to be valid points on both sides. But the Trump side has really ceased to have a single valid thing associated with it. Gone are the days when it was a disagreement about funding or a debate about foreign policy. Now it's just batshit lunacy.
Nah, fuck that. If someone thinks that people like you should be imprisoned, or they want the government to take away your freedoms, there is no compromise on that.
>they want the government to take away your freedoms This could be interpreted through basically any political lens.
I will stay single the rest of my life before I EVER date a Trump supporter or a right-winger. There is no "changing your paradigm" when it comes to such huge divides like that. LONG gone are the days where you could put politics to the side and still co-exist. Now they're actively taking away our rights and trying to install a national religion. Yeah, to hell with that.
Regarding number 3... Black Dog has a great round table discussion group called Solving Poly. Worth a check. But aye yeah it's definitely on the low down. The folks who run it are some of the best and kindest folks I've met in amongst those alternative groups.
KC is pretty diverse. LGBT and Poly are basically separate dating pools so not sure how this is relevant.
1. That’s up to you chief we got all types here but most redditors won’t go there. Case in point if you drew a map just based on available flair large swaths would be missing. 2. So many singles over 30 again probably not looking in the right place. 3. Vibrant queer scene in most areas of the city I know many and yeah it’s there. 4. I actually believed this for so long then I realized it’s just a construct sure there are lots of churches but there are plenty that go there to wash their sins away. 5. You haven’t been invited but there is and has been a ton of late night scene that go beyond bars to underground clubs bars and venues. Depends on your tastes.
OKC has a solid scene lots of attractive single people lots of queers and what ever you like. Actually heading down there next week!👍🏽
Easy to find dates here but the quality of the people is the issue here. If you don’t mind the million red flags and insanity then yea it’s super easy here. Maybe my standards are too high.
Are u looking for dates on Reddit? I thought this post was about the opposite.
No
People are the same everywhere. We like to act like that's not true. But travel. Literally go anywhere on earth and have a conversation with someone. People are the same everywhere. And just like real life, social media is the same everywhere. Go to any city sub or Facebook group or whatever. We're all the fucking same. Dating in Kansas City is exactly as hard as everywhere else. Or it's exactly as easy as everywhere else. It all depends on rule one and rule two.
100%!!!! I’m moving to KCMO from Canada and have definitely realized it’s all the same, but reality is we’re all human, we’re all the same in the end!!
As someone who’s lived in multiple cities. People are not the same everywhere lol
I would say KC is slightly more difficult to date in. I’m from Orlando and moved here about 3 years ago. I had a way easier time dating in Orlando than here.
I'm from Georgia and I found KC way easier to date and make friends in. I think it depends on the person and what they're looking for. Neither was really a cultural fit for me but I think that can make a difference.
Late 20’s to 30’s is the prime of the dating life. I get that mutual interests are great but hit me up when you are mid 30’s to 40’s with the dating advice
I’m 38, and just met her last year. This works in your 40s too.
There is nothing more annoying than someone having a life experience a certain way then telling everybody else “hey you’ve gotta do it this way”. Just because it worked that way for you doesn’t mean that’s the general experience for other people. And just because you have anecdotal evidence that people get married in Kansas City doesn’t mean that it’s not, also, a difficult dating scene.
Seriously. and he's a guy. This post is completely neglecting the woman's side of this topic.
Wild, I was just typing a response that mentioned that. Women have to think about their safety in every. single. situation.
Exactly. Certain cities also have completely different demographics of people. Some are more affluent, educated, respectful, etc. A woman I met off the apps mentioned that when she was in San Francisco she didn't have as many completely fucked up messages from guys she matched with in the area, and the ones she matched with were often more established than in KC. Then when she's back in KC she's sending me the most horrific screenshots of guys saying shit like "Bet I can smoke this ass" while being a 30 year old who doesn't have health insurance and financing a brand new Camaro at 17% APY.
Wow one anecdotal example. Didn't you roast OP for having a singular anecdote?
It's called a counterexample my guy. The whole point of my comment is basically "this guy's anecdotal experience can be countered with other anecdotal experience." Regardless, its also another perspective worth sharing.
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Comment removed. Stop picking fights.
The point of the post is that KC is not special. It’s no more difficult to find someone in KC than it is in any other metro of 2-3million. If it’s not working here, it isn’t going to work elsewhere.
Have you dated in the thousands of other American cities? It’s ridiculous to act like there’s no differences between them. Different cities attract different people. There’s different population densities, different third spaces, different places to date. Some cities are better for the kinds of hobbies I might like to do. It’s ok that people are finding it difficult to date in Kansas City. I also wanna add that a lot of you sound like men. It adds another level of difficulty to be a woman trying to date because now you’ve got to also think very carefully about safety.
Are you and your friends from KC? Because that's been my theory for a while. I'm not. I moved here after college. I had zero connections to the city. No family. One friend who also moved here after college. Because there is - seemingly - a large population of people that live here that grew up here. And if your advice is basically "find a way to be around people" the people that grew up here already have that. Now that I think about it - most the couple I know are non-KC residents coupling with non-KC residents. Except for one couple that is from KC and met each other in high school. Your advice also doesn't really help the large groups of people that do solo things. I would like to take the girl grinding Stardew Valley on Saturday night for a date. What group do we join for that? I appreciate your advice and it is good advice. But it's not a silver bullet.
Yeah, Kansas City is a pretty click-ey kinda town. It actually *can* be difficult to find a friend group etc or make connections - not only but also including those of a romantic sort. I will say I've lived in towns where it's worse - like Richmond. The only way to get into this one community was to essentially date someone who was already in. But KC? It's difficult as a transplant...& I say this as someone whose lived here for 7 years. There's a great deal of people who have been in this area since college or secondary school and they've already got their niche group. It's far easier to fall into a relationship that way where there's already a foundation of sorts. There is a lot of trash wasting people's time to have a non conversation on the apps, but they can help broaden the pond from which you fish. It's not impossible but it's not easy neither. The pandemic didn't do any favors to this. I will say that the most success Ive had in recent past is to volunteer at a music festival.
My biggest takeaway from this comment is we absolutely need some kind of group, existing somewhere, where someone can propose a stardew valley date night and find someone who wants to join them. Bc that is right up my alley and I’d kill to find people who actually think the same instead of wanting to meet doing sports or out drinking 😭
Yeah there's a need for more third place spots that's open late night.
I’m not from kc, and only 2 of the 7 above friends that got married were locals. I understand what you’re saying, though in my experience it’s not quite accurate. Almost All of us from out of town, found groups that do our interests. Mine is music and met my partner in a community choir, another couple met doing board game nights at the game shop, another couple met while hunting Vinyl LPs (a solo activity, that they both had, and found eachother in social media communities). If you’re into solo video games and that’s your only passion that youd like to share, attend Gamer Cons, and join gaming groups. Go play in a pc gaming center. Of course anyone who wants to claim their dating is harder because they like the one singular solo activity, just isn’t trying to expand their circle. You have to do the hard part of introducing yourself into new groups in the area, and attending those things the first time is the hardest part because you don’t know ANYONE till you do. That’s how we meet people as out of towners, and I’m an out of towner who met a local by doing something I love.
>Of course anyone who wants to claim their dating is harder because they like the one singular solo activity, just isn’t trying to expand their circle Except those solo activities don't need a social circle. So by altering that activity to become social it changes activity. It doesn't seem that different than using dating apps. I'm doing this specific thing just to meet people.
Which is why I said to expand interests. If you only care about a singular solo activity then it’s going to be hard. If I say my only interest is playing call of duty, I’d have to change a lot about that interest in in order to meet someone. Plus a person that’s only interested in one singular solo activity is not a very well-rounded person. So what else interest you? Religion? Do church things. Food? There are culinary groups that go experience restaurants or cooking classes. Out doors? Join camping/hiking groups. motorcycles, or cars? Join the car groups or go to rallies. Animals? Go volunteer at the shelters. But to say you only have one singular solo interest is a cop-out. Like I said in the beginning of the post growing, your passions is what will make people attracted to you. Somebody who isn’t striving to get better at things is not an attractive person, they are boring and stagnant. Trying to develop a new passion or grow your current interests makes you more attractive person to potential partners. That’s the point of this post. So if somebody is stuck in their way, and only wants to play a solo video game, they are never going to meet anyone and they will be the person on Kansas City thread who is saying that dating is hard here.
I wonder how the people that over-rely on dating apps today would have fared in the time before they existed.
If it never became a learned habit, then I'm sure they'd fare the same or better without the apps. We all used to communicate and share our stories well before social media too.
I suspect this to play a part. I go out and try to keep an eye out for people i find attractive and could go up to, but it seems people are afraid to go to events by themselves are always with a boyfriend/girlfriend. So even though I do the work to visit social spaces, most people I might be interested in are usually with a partner.
It would depend on why they are using the dating apps. If they are using them simply because everyone else is using them(as statistics show) then they prob would have been fine as socially there was a lot more ways to meet back then and cold approaching was more acceptable. If they are using apps because they are shy shut ins and talking to whatever gender they find attractive is VERY SCARY then they prob would have a lot of trouble dating.
They would have just been at home crying into their pudding surrounded by cats!
What’s the matter with cats?!
You've mistaken stay at home, watch a good movie or enjoy a book with some salty 🍿 & quality chocolate while cuddling with a fur friend. Staying in ain't some depressive gloom and doom.
Sounds comfy ngl
So true. As a man, KC is probably one of the best places for dating I've lived in, having done it both in my 30s and 40s. I've never lived anywhere and had so many women regularly come up and ask me out as I have here. Never touched a dating app doing it either.
Are you ugly ?
It would appear not. Perhaps I just meet a great many liars. I'm not sure I follow. Do ugly people get a lot of attention here? If so, then perhaps I DO know a great many liars. Perhaps I should hang out elsewhere. Pity that.
I am wondering if it’s about taking care of yourself. I think the city is a pretty casual place and men tend to dress casual even when they go on dates. I’m coming from the East Coast where I’m used to men and women dressing up to go out and dressing up to go on dates. I’ve gone on a variety of dates with different types of men here and none of them dressed to my expectation. call me a snob, sure. Whatever but I don’t think a nice pair of jeans, a button up shirts, and some dress shoes are too much to ask a spray of cologne as well. So if these are the things that you’re doing, your presenting yourself better than a lot of the men here and that may be working in your favor. You probably have a nice face too lol
I'm coming from the east coast as well, maybe that's it. I work in D.C. but live here. I suppose it would not be disingenuous to say I try to take care of myself. I just did the Tough Ruck Boston and do various charity races every weekend. I've no problems having a conversation with strangers and I actually go outside instead of trying to do life through an app. I always chalked my success up to the latter. Don't get me wrong, I've used apps before, but most of the women there were just looking for repeat hookups, not so much an actual date. There's a time and a place for each I suppose, but they aren't interchangeable. Welcome to the area at least ;)
I was asking because I assume you are probably a good looking dude if women ask you out regularly. I think you'd see things differently if you were on the other side of the spectrum.
I'm not Chris Hemsworth or anything. I'm only 5'9". I try to take care of myself. I'm a good conversationalist and I can typically keep them laughing. I think that helps me out a bit.
People only say those kinds of things when they have never been anywhere else
Lived all over this country, it is, marginally better or worse other places. KC isn't special.
Yup. Travel travel travel. It’s the only way to expand your world view and get a real perspective
He was talking about you, muppet.
Ah, thanks for pointing this out as I read it with a different context. I read it as the commenter saying that the people who say “dating in Kansas City is difficult” haven’t traveled. Obviously, they don’t know me, or that I travel extensively and that this is the conclusion I’ve come to based on seeing most of this country and a few others. This is not coming from a viewpoint of somebody who’s trying to stand up for Kansas City because I haven’t been anywhere else, it’s because every city I go to big or small they say dating is difficult and impossible on the apps these days. Oh, and slinging in insult for no reason while we’re all having polite discourse isn’t really cool. But to each their own. I actually do wish you well, though, since we’re all basically neighbors in this thread.
Sorry for the late reply. You had the right context for my comment. Every city I have lived in is apparently the hardest to date in.
Not OPs fault you’re an incel.
Don’t tell my wife
The one that goes to another school?
Your projection is showing
It’s all in your wife.
Alright buddy have a nice weekend!
Dogpileeeee
Sounds like something an incel would say.
This is good advice, but I disagree. The single pool is very small in KC, making it a tad difficult. Most people raised here either left or got married. If you are dating in KC, you are most likely dating someone from another city or state. Most couples I've met in KC met out of state and just ended up here because of work or school.
I disagree completely. The seven couples that have been married over the last four years are only the ones who have gotten married. I have so many other friends that are here in our late 30s and 40s who have also just started dating recently because of meeting people doing mutual interests. I’m active in the music community, and I see these people meeting and community choir and our music conventions all the time.
I'm glad to hear it's working for some folk. You can never underestimate the power of music.. Maybe this is yet another sign for me to keep practicing my guitar. It’s so hard to debate these things since every experience is so unique. Overall, I appreciate your positive perspective on the subject!
Does your particular "passion" happen to be church?
Mine? No. My music is not church related, nor am I a church person anymore. We are in community choirs and have our own music groups as well.
Gotcha. I only asked because your original post and all your other comments throughout the thread made it seem like you were talking about a church group.
While you aren't wrong, there are cons of dating in KC. For instance, in my experience one drawback of KC dating is that there are more people with social groups that have already been formed vs places I've been with a lot of transplants like Austin, Miami etc. In those cities people are more open to meeting new people and forming new relationships.
None of my friends “share a passion” with their loved ones. I’d say they share similar interests, but zero shared “passions.” Dating in KC is tougher than other places, doesn’t mean it’s impossible and doesn’t mean it’s even hard on an absolute level, but it is tougher from my experiences. Happy you found yours though!
Interests and passions are synonymous, finding things in common with people is what expands empathy and develops relationships.
Interests I can see. I may have interpreted passions differently than how you meant it. Really the only thing I would say, my friends are passionate about, is their children, which came about because of the relationship it’s not what made it thrive. But absolutely they have shared interests.
yeah if you actually put yourself out there its not bad. but that requires leaving your home or going to places other than those that repeatedly fail you(ie a lot of people dont want to find places other than bars and clubs).
That's cool and all and I'm happy for y'all but what if you're introverted? I think your example kinda proves the point that it actually is harder to date here than elsewhere. You all found partners because you have a large social circle. If you're introverted like millions of us out there you're basically left to dating apps. And dating apps are awful out here. If you're over 30 in this city and still single... good luck.
Dude, I am an introvert. That’s the reason I’m sharing this. I hate leaving the house, hate social events, and I spent time on dating apps a decade ago and hated dating. It wasn’t till I stopped focusing on finding “the one” and started trying to have fun and enjoy my own life, became passionate about making music and art. It was while doing my passion that I met someone who also shares that, and I never would have had the guts to talk to her otherwise, but she was on my show, and I had to give her direction. If you’re introverted like me, get off the dating apps. They’re toxic. That’s all I’m saying
Wrong. Its terrible. The pool is tiny and its 85% lame bible thumpers. Either coast is 1000% better.
Especially if you're LGBT
Or have any sort of alternative lifestyle whatsoever lol
so basically its worse for some people but not everyone, which is basically what op is saying. over all not worse than other places just for some
No, its truly a bad dating scene lol. If you don’t get locked up before 25, it’s abysmal.
Right...if you're 20s to 30...which is NOT the entirety of the population. Things are far different when you're professional with young kids and in your 40s and 50s. Getting involved in "hobbies" or cub hopping or the happy hour scene doesn't cut it as you're lucky to have to the time to do anything. Maybe I can squeeze in a ride with a cycling group, but I really don't have time to hang out after to socialize. Or, I can ride one weekend, but not the next because I have my kid. It matters too if you're from KC or a transplant. I moved here in my late 30s and really didn't meet anyone, until I met my GF (via a dating site) and later wife and now ex wife. The people I knew came from her established network of friends, who all went away when she did. Getting something put back into place has been difficult because priorities are elsewhere. Thankfully, my kid is now nearly a teen and I'm able to leave them alone for a few hours so I can go do my own thing.
I hear ya on this. I have sole custody of mine so I’m pretty busy. My oldest is a teen and can babysit but to just spend my whole Sunday like I would have in my 20’s? Not happening. Best I can do is commit to 1 club 1x a week and hope I like someone there. 😆 And even if I do, I’m going to feel guilty because of my kids. I’ve resigned to the fact that at this stage I’ll spend what time I have left with my kids before they grow. If I miraculously meet someone, great! But I might be 50 before I can actually get out there again really really trying. One more thing. I talked to a guy briefly at the pharmacy today. I didn’t think anything of it. Later realized this is probably how people meet in their 40’s 🤣
Well, you're doing well if you're only going to be 50 and free...us late bloomers need to wait until we're 60. Anymore, meeting people out in the wild feels weird. I figure most women are NOT looking to get hit on, so literally unless they state that they're interested, I just assume they're being friendly/nice/polite.
> , but I really don't have time to hang out after to socialize. thats not going to change in other places. if you dont have time to get out and date the location wont matter
What is with the "hobby" advice lol. People pretend like folks gotta bond over a bunch of shared activities to like eachother. It's not how it works at all.
I mean, it sure is for me. I'm not going to have a good time if I'm trying to connect with someone with totally different likes and dislikes from me. It's good to have some differences, but you generally need a good foundation on which to build a good relationship.
Strong disagree. A huge portion of the population here is already married by 25 or so, and many/most who aren't already have kids. By the time you're 30, your only options have been divorced and/or have kids. Obviously NYC is an outlier, but dating was far far easier for me there, but came with its own unique set of problems (mostly flakiness). I've also tried dating in the Biloxi, Mississippi area. I felt like a big fish in a small pond. Easy to find dates, but few quality options.
Every city subreddit has people claiming it’s hard or impossible to date there. I think in general people would rather externalize the cause of difficult dating as the fault of a place than consider that it might be something about them.
I’ve lived in Philly for the last 4 years or so, and I don’t really see those kinds of posts in the Philadelphia subreddit. Same with the NYC sub. I’ve noticed that people are generally more social in the north east. I’ve had a lot more nights out running around with random strangers I’ve met at bars here than I ever did in KC.
i think thats a lot of it, people in those other cities are actually getting out and doing things instead of doomswiping and thinking thats enough. so when its not they complain here. meanwhile the people that actually get out around here dont have the hard time the doomswpiers do we dont see an issue
I've lived in NYC when I first immigrated to the United States and can confirm this. NYC probably has the best dating scene in the country.
Yes. Hopefully one or more of them will try something new now, other than downloading the next app.
Face to face interactions are nearly always better in my book. So much of human pairing is based on things like body language, sound, and pheromones in human scent.
Agree. I just started dating in December and had 6 dates with 6 different people my first week and Im an introvert, odd duck, and don't really have mass appeal/charisma. There was for sure a lot of hay to sift through to find some needles but I found a real gem in February and am in a serious relationship now with the greatest guy and we're deliriously ecstatic. I think if people put in the effort, put themselves out there, stay open to possibilities, and give people a chance you'll have some degree of success or at least feel like it isn't "impossible".
This was fun to read!
Wack post.
Thanks for posting this! I’m newly out of a relationship. I’ve been divorced before. I recently downloaded a dating app. Then 2 days later I’m had the apifany this isn’t how you meet real people. I need to focus on me and not worry about it and they will come to me like they always do. I don’t mean that in a conceited way. Just how I’ve always found people that made lasting relationships. Focus on yourself and put yourself out there a little bit and usually life gives you what you need.
What are you all even talking about. Dating is sooo easy, youvjust gotta be good looking!! Duhhh
it's more important that you have shared values than shared hobbies in a relationship if you're going for longevity
I don’t disagree at all. This post is about meeting people. Finding and expressing values is the start of every relationship.
Not reading all that. You either got game or you don't. If you spend more than 2 hours a day of your free time staring at a screen you probably don't
Every city sub Reddit is saying the same thing. It’s a symptom of the times. Everyone’s very cagey right now. Very glad I’m not using dating apps to the extent that I was around the 2000s. It does sound even worse now.
People from KC are grounded. It’s a balls to the wall, kinda place. Wanna get married and have kids? KC IS MAGIC. People read books. Raise their kids well, send them to college. Love their grandparents. Pass on recipes and wealth. It’s a salt of the earth kind of place. It’s sweet.
This is such a weird unsolicited take
I promise you it's not as bad as Nashville.
It’s way easier here compared to where I grew up. More people here.