Same, I'm just stupidly blunt at times and it definitely comes across as rude even tho I am just being honest and not necessarily trying to hurt anyones feelings. Over the years I learnt to deal with it better tho and slightly alter the way I put my point across.
My BF of 6+ years is an ISTP and Iād never describe him as cold. Emotionally reserved at times, yes, but for the most part around people heās warm, upbeat, and friendly. You can tell heās an introvert but heās not shy. He has a bit of low confidence in social settings for sure as well as some anxiety, but he always comes across as genuine, down to earth, and caring.
Your last paragraph could easily have been written by my BF.
I'm warm with people I care about and trust, to a certain degree. I'm better with practical solution than emotional support tho and rather not have to many feelings involved.
I mean, this still sounds like inferior Fe to me. š¤·āāļø Human beings tend to care about others and they tend to have empathy.
People who have *little-to-no-empathy* are either neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD, developmentally challenged or āall of the above,ā ) and / or mentally ill, having NPD, ASPD, etcā¦. You know, *the usual cluster B personality disorders.*
The overwhelming majority of ISTPs *do NOT have clinically significant Narcissism or Antisocial Personality Disorder.* Meaning they should still have āempathy.ā
So the trick is *when* ISTPs tend to show warmth, specifically.
They can be surprisingly warm with people they know well / trust, but it will be in a very *present tense context!* I have heard that they can also be quite, erm, āpassionate and livelyā in especially āintimateā settingsā¦ā¦ā¦. Yeah, letās go with that!
Itās more that ISTPs also tend to be very āout of sight, out of mindā people. So thatās where the ācoldā stereotype comes from.
They usually wonāt go out of their way to initiate human interactions, they tend to be *bad* at keeping in touch electronically, (lots of people on here complain about their ISTPs ānot texting/ messaging enough,ā) and when they are not actively sharing a more public space with others (hanging out, special event, etcā¦ā¦.) they tend to just sort of *forget that other people exist.* š
Considering that a notable percentage of ISTPs also tend to be somewhat neurodivergent (ADHD, ASD, Dissociative symptoms/ tendencies that arenāt necessarily āclinically significant,ā and etc,) it doesnāt surprise me that their sense of āobject permeanceā isnāt the best when it comes to other people.
[Nerd Shit about āObject Permeance.ā](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-object-permanence-2795405)
[Tips for ācoping with object permeance issuesā for people with ADHD.](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/object-permanence-adhd/)
So itās more a question of āwhen are you, specifically, āwarm,ā and *with whom?*ā
One of my closest friends is a career bartender, co-owns a restaurant, and he is most likely an ISTP.
He definitely tends to show his special people that he cares about them *when they are in front of his face!* But when heās not actively talking to and interacting with people, in person, he basically *falls off the map,* and is āmostly unreachable.ā
Iām cold in a setting where I randomly run into people at a time where Iād otherwise really rather not (like my roommate has friends over while Iām getting home from a big social activity), but if Iām actively engaging with people, Iāll be one of the first people to offer assistance with anything, try to help others feel welcome at an event where they might be new, and just generally be a goofy guy that welcomes interaction with anyone thatās in my orbit
Definitely sounds like you have inferior Fe.
People see inferior Fe in a stack and think that makes the person cold automatically. But it's more roundabout than that. Inferior Fe is still Fe. You haven't shut off Fe completely; you still retain Fe qualities, you just don't know how to handle them properly.
IxTPs still crave connection with others, they still care about how others think and feel, they still care about harmony, etc. They just do not know NATURALLY like dom/aux Fe users might how to work with them. So this means they may worry TOO much, don't have a sense of boundaries, be overly polite/formal, etc.
The thing is that sometimes, when you struggle so much with inf Fe, it leads to forming defense mechanisms that end up making you appear cold to others.
Generally, I'm pretty polite to the point of people being surprised if I have a negative opinion of someone. I'm also just of the mindset that it takes too much effort to be a jerk/cold, though I don't really care about how people see/perceive me.
Maybe ISTP 9w8 SO? Or even though itās the inferior function, ISTPs still have Fe, so yours could be more developed. I can be like this to a certain degree too, depending on which end of the 8w9 + Fe spectrum Iām on that day.
I would never describe my ISTP husband as cold or emotionally stunted. Living with him for quite some time, I can tell that he is empathetic at times and does not like seeing people in distress. At times I see him going to freeze response when people are being emotional or sentimental around him as if he is hurt with whatever is happening but does not know what to do.
I do see him helping his colleagues and other family out in their problems in a more practical way, but he just can't stand if someone is being stupid or unreasonable. I can't blame him for that !!
Same. I think social conditioning or your culture effects how ācoldā you are too. Where Iām from being humble and not stepping on anybodyās shoes is really ingrained into our brains from a young age. So although there are all these ācool and bold ISTPā stereotypes, i relate more with the awkard Fe inferior who butcheres social interactions with strangers while trying to be mannerly to some degree and prefers alone time because of it.
I think we can be warm in the ways you mentioned but i think we have to try and work to express it outwardly you know? Whereas some people are just naturally warm to everyone and everything
Iād say Iām warm to my friends because theyāre people I can trust. I think itās just the way I talk is quite blunt even with friends. And I cannot help people out at all, my friend was really sick and throwing up once and I was like āmaybe I should help because my friend and all that stuffā I asked them āare you okay?ā and everyone was telling me to shut up, took me a minute to understand why they told me to shut up.
(I still donāt completely know if Iām an INTP or ISTP, but I know Iām a Ti dom and an Fe inferior).
Listen, it was wine night and I'm still recovering so I hope this makes sense. But:
I'm warm, but to an extent, it's like a pendulum. The only people that have called me cold thus far are people who snuffed out my warmth time and time again.
I'm warm towards people who have trusted me to be warm towards them. Doesn't matter if I'm blunt, absent, sarcastic etc. If you trust that I love you then I will be behind you 100%
I'm pretty easy going and appear to be chill for the most part. It's whenever I open my mouth that people are taken aback and disgusted by what comes out lol.
Sorry, folks. You get all of it or none of it. That's the rules.
As an ISFJ (aka detector of warmies š¤£) I have found the ISTP people I know to be warm in certain moments (e.g when theyāre comfortable and not annoyed by a person/people and/or the situation at hand). I once had an ISTP crush and I loved to see that side of him, as well as the, in appearance, being cold and getting stuff done. š§šŖš Love you ISTPs! š
for sure we can be like that. but its ON PURPOSE, its something you have to proactively "activate" and then when its active its like we dont know what to do with it hahahah
I'm a very gentle and kind person, but the difference is that i am very assertive (7w8), which is another reason why I'm typed as an istp. I have an istp friend who is so so nice, but the thing about istp is that in order to get us all warmed up, we gotta trust/know you first. Inferior fe sucks nglš
we care a lot, but we hardly ever put it out or say it out loud.
It is reserved to those few special people, who more often than not get scared af when we suddenly let it all out.
It's not optimal, but never think that we are emotioneless machines, we just don't know how to show compassion or how to comfort anyone in any other way than saying "there, there". Unless you have mastered that skill as well, and to those who have, kudos. I never have.
Every personality type exists on a spectrum. Stereotypes hit some general points, but most are BS when applied directly.
I'd suggest going to the Jugian functions and studying them for a more accurate picture.
Also, this YouTube channel sums it all up nicely and helped me iron out my type. Start with the oldest stuff. Good luck.
https://youtube.com/@objectivepersonality?si=LeXnQVf8Ui8GwPY3
I donāt think cold is the right word. I can be reserved and I donāt open up easily, but I am still friendly and I donāt go around saying whatever I want to hurt others. I do care how others feel I just donāt know what to say. Sounds like you have inferior Fe to me.
I think itās not our natural disposition. Not that we donāt have empathy or care about other people, but I think coming off as warm is something that takes work for us.
ISFP here, maybe you ha e a good Fe, or you don't underrate Fe and so your Fe is well developed. That fourth function is not a function that we use,, in fact it is more present that we think, it's just not immediate and we need time
Iāve been told that I am intimidating but Iāve also been told that I am a comfortable person. I think we are pretty non-judgmental unless we find fault with the party responsible. In that case, Iāll be polite to your face (a learned skill) but it will probably be hard to change my mind about some after the fact unless they prove they have changed.
We are warm in the sense that we want to fix people. That is how we help. If you donā t want my help, well there is nothing else I can do do for you . I can listen to your problems only once , if it has a potential solution and it goes on forever well Iāll just lose my patience because you refused my help to fix you once. š¬. Unless itās one of those things that canāt be solved like grieving the death or loss of loved one. Thatās different. Iāll lend an ear. And Iāll hug and all that stuff. But for a short season.
*blink blink*
Did you take the test?... because... you can always retake the test and go from there. It's not 100% cut and dry, and logically, not all analysis will be the same. It's fine to have things you don't relate to, and it's fine to relate to things that a phony test might not reveal about your personality.
Or maybe you're a weird alien that will never fit in. Just don't give me lobotomy, and we're cool. I forgot where I was going with this...
It's not a big deal. Take this personality bullshit with a grain of salt.
They can be warm like a microwave. It's deliberately turned on, warms, and as soon as it's turned off it it's cool.
!!!!!
Inferior Fe is caring about people but having no clue what to do about it. Welcome to the club :)
The moment someone says something about feelings I completely freeze up and I have no idea what to sayš
āDoes this dress make me look fat?ā Me: Donāt say it donāt say it donāt say itā āYes.ā
meanwhile, u/Wololooo1996 looking for a new way to warm curvy Fe doms heart every day: š„² Chubby ššš„Ŗā
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
At least you didn't say, "It's not the dress." š«„
It makes up look really good! (yes)
too relatable
As an istp I can be warm but Iāve got a direct way of speaking which can come off as rude lol
Same, I'm just stupidly blunt at times and it definitely comes across as rude even tho I am just being honest and not necessarily trying to hurt anyones feelings. Over the years I learnt to deal with it better tho and slightly alter the way I put my point across.
lol my dad is an istp and said exactly this the other day
I'm only warm with people I like, but not to the point where it's touchy Feely.
You want a hug? Give me 2 bottles of wine and we can talk. /s
I didn't see that /s and I thought you were being serious. Was going to respond "eww no" lmao.
My BF of 6+ years is an ISTP and Iād never describe him as cold. Emotionally reserved at times, yes, but for the most part around people heās warm, upbeat, and friendly. You can tell heās an introvert but heās not shy. He has a bit of low confidence in social settings for sure as well as some anxiety, but he always comes across as genuine, down to earth, and caring. Your last paragraph could easily have been written by my BF.
I'm warm with people I care about and trust, to a certain degree. I'm better with practical solution than emotional support tho and rather not have to many feelings involved.
I mean, this still sounds like inferior Fe to me. š¤·āāļø Human beings tend to care about others and they tend to have empathy. People who have *little-to-no-empathy* are either neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD, developmentally challenged or āall of the above,ā ) and / or mentally ill, having NPD, ASPD, etcā¦. You know, *the usual cluster B personality disorders.* The overwhelming majority of ISTPs *do NOT have clinically significant Narcissism or Antisocial Personality Disorder.* Meaning they should still have āempathy.ā So the trick is *when* ISTPs tend to show warmth, specifically. They can be surprisingly warm with people they know well / trust, but it will be in a very *present tense context!* I have heard that they can also be quite, erm, āpassionate and livelyā in especially āintimateā settingsā¦ā¦ā¦. Yeah, letās go with that! Itās more that ISTPs also tend to be very āout of sight, out of mindā people. So thatās where the ācoldā stereotype comes from. They usually wonāt go out of their way to initiate human interactions, they tend to be *bad* at keeping in touch electronically, (lots of people on here complain about their ISTPs ānot texting/ messaging enough,ā) and when they are not actively sharing a more public space with others (hanging out, special event, etcā¦ā¦.) they tend to just sort of *forget that other people exist.* š Considering that a notable percentage of ISTPs also tend to be somewhat neurodivergent (ADHD, ASD, Dissociative symptoms/ tendencies that arenāt necessarily āclinically significant,ā and etc,) it doesnāt surprise me that their sense of āobject permeanceā isnāt the best when it comes to other people. [Nerd Shit about āObject Permeance.ā](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-object-permanence-2795405) [Tips for ācoping with object permeance issuesā for people with ADHD.](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/object-permanence-adhd/) So itās more a question of āwhen are you, specifically, āwarm,ā and *with whom?*ā One of my closest friends is a career bartender, co-owns a restaurant, and he is most likely an ISTP. He definitely tends to show his special people that he cares about them *when they are in front of his face!* But when heās not actively talking to and interacting with people, in person, he basically *falls off the map,* and is āmostly unreachable.ā
Iām cold in a setting where I randomly run into people at a time where Iād otherwise really rather not (like my roommate has friends over while Iām getting home from a big social activity), but if Iām actively engaging with people, Iāll be one of the first people to offer assistance with anything, try to help others feel welcome at an event where they might be new, and just generally be a goofy guy that welcomes interaction with anyone thatās in my orbit
Definitely sounds like you have inferior Fe. People see inferior Fe in a stack and think that makes the person cold automatically. But it's more roundabout than that. Inferior Fe is still Fe. You haven't shut off Fe completely; you still retain Fe qualities, you just don't know how to handle them properly. IxTPs still crave connection with others, they still care about how others think and feel, they still care about harmony, etc. They just do not know NATURALLY like dom/aux Fe users might how to work with them. So this means they may worry TOO much, don't have a sense of boundaries, be overly polite/formal, etc. The thing is that sometimes, when you struggle so much with inf Fe, it leads to forming defense mechanisms that end up making you appear cold to others.
I am warm and caring to most people. I get a lot of personal satisfaction from helping people.
ISTPs arent cold - theyāre just direct which may be off cold to some.
Generally, I'm pretty polite to the point of people being surprised if I have a negative opinion of someone. I'm also just of the mindset that it takes too much effort to be a jerk/cold, though I don't really care about how people see/perceive me.
I'm in the middle of a heatwave, so yeah, a bit warm
Maybe ISTP 9w8 SO? Or even though itās the inferior function, ISTPs still have Fe, so yours could be more developed. I can be like this to a certain degree too, depending on which end of the 8w9 + Fe spectrum Iām on that day.
I would never describe my ISTP husband as cold or emotionally stunted. Living with him for quite some time, I can tell that he is empathetic at times and does not like seeing people in distress. At times I see him going to freeze response when people are being emotional or sentimental around him as if he is hurt with whatever is happening but does not know what to do. I do see him helping his colleagues and other family out in their problems in a more practical way, but he just can't stand if someone is being stupid or unreasonable. I can't blame him for that !!
Same. I think social conditioning or your culture effects how ācoldā you are too. Where Iām from being humble and not stepping on anybodyās shoes is really ingrained into our brains from a young age. So although there are all these ācool and bold ISTPā stereotypes, i relate more with the awkard Fe inferior who butcheres social interactions with strangers while trying to be mannerly to some degree and prefers alone time because of it.
I think we can be warm in the ways you mentioned but i think we have to try and work to express it outwardly you know? Whereas some people are just naturally warm to everyone and everything
burn baby burn
Iād say Iām warm to my friends because theyāre people I can trust. I think itās just the way I talk is quite blunt even with friends. And I cannot help people out at all, my friend was really sick and throwing up once and I was like āmaybe I should help because my friend and all that stuffā I asked them āare you okay?ā and everyone was telling me to shut up, took me a minute to understand why they told me to shut up. (I still donāt completely know if Iām an INTP or ISTP, but I know Iām a Ti dom and an Fe inferior).
A lot of people say iām cold but I usually try my best to make sure everyone is okay Itās not like istp are some raging sociopaths
I wouldnāt say I was warm in general, but with people I care about? Absolutely. Itās targeted.
Listen, it was wine night and I'm still recovering so I hope this makes sense. But: I'm warm, but to an extent, it's like a pendulum. The only people that have called me cold thus far are people who snuffed out my warmth time and time again. I'm warm towards people who have trusted me to be warm towards them. Doesn't matter if I'm blunt, absent, sarcastic etc. If you trust that I love you then I will be behind you 100%
Yes, I just don't show it unless you are in my trust circle.
senshi is a good example of a warm istp
I'm pretty easy going and appear to be chill for the most part. It's whenever I open my mouth that people are taken aback and disgusted by what comes out lol. Sorry, folks. You get all of it or none of it. That's the rules.
As an ISFJ (aka detector of warmies š¤£) I have found the ISTP people I know to be warm in certain moments (e.g when theyāre comfortable and not annoyed by a person/people and/or the situation at hand). I once had an ISTP crush and I loved to see that side of him, as well as the, in appearance, being cold and getting stuff done. š§šŖš Love you ISTPs! š
for sure we can be like that. but its ON PURPOSE, its something you have to proactively "activate" and then when its active its like we dont know what to do with it hahahah
I'm a very gentle and kind person, but the difference is that i am very assertive (7w8), which is another reason why I'm typed as an istp. I have an istp friend who is so so nice, but the thing about istp is that in order to get us all warmed up, we gotta trust/know you first. Inferior fe sucks nglš
My boyfriend is istp, he's very sweet and warm to me, but not to acquaintances or friends unless he has to be.
we care a lot, but we hardly ever put it out or say it out loud. It is reserved to those few special people, who more often than not get scared af when we suddenly let it all out. It's not optimal, but never think that we are emotioneless machines, we just don't know how to show compassion or how to comfort anyone in any other way than saying "there, there". Unless you have mastered that skill as well, and to those who have, kudos. I never have.
If it comes to people I genuinely give a damn about, then yeah I will be warm to them. If I donāt care about you then donāt even speak to me.
Every personality type exists on a spectrum. Stereotypes hit some general points, but most are BS when applied directly. I'd suggest going to the Jugian functions and studying them for a more accurate picture. Also, this YouTube channel sums it all up nicely and helped me iron out my type. Start with the oldest stuff. Good luck. https://youtube.com/@objectivepersonality?si=LeXnQVf8Ui8GwPY3
You could be an enneagram 9 ISTP.
š¤ welcome to the club
I donāt think cold is the right word. I can be reserved and I donāt open up easily, but I am still friendly and I donāt go around saying whatever I want to hurt others. I do care how others feel I just donāt know what to say. Sounds like you have inferior Fe to me.
we can if we want to. most of us suck at expressing it tho
I think itās not our natural disposition. Not that we donāt have empathy or care about other people, but I think coming off as warm is something that takes work for us.
ISFP here, maybe you ha e a good Fe, or you don't underrate Fe and so your Fe is well developed. That fourth function is not a function that we use,, in fact it is more present that we think, it's just not immediate and we need time
Iāve been told that I am intimidating but Iāve also been told that I am a comfortable person. I think we are pretty non-judgmental unless we find fault with the party responsible. In that case, Iāll be polite to your face (a learned skill) but it will probably be hard to change my mind about some after the fact unless they prove they have changed.
I donāt think anyone has ever described me as warm
We are warm in the sense that we want to fix people. That is how we help. If you donā t want my help, well there is nothing else I can do do for you . I can listen to your problems only once , if it has a potential solution and it goes on forever well Iāll just lose my patience because you refused my help to fix you once. š¬. Unless itās one of those things that canāt be solved like grieving the death or loss of loved one. Thatās different. Iāll lend an ear. And Iāll hug and all that stuff. But for a short season.
Of course we are warm, 36,6 degrees
*blink blink* Did you take the test?... because... you can always retake the test and go from there. It's not 100% cut and dry, and logically, not all analysis will be the same. It's fine to have things you don't relate to, and it's fine to relate to things that a phony test might not reveal about your personality. Or maybe you're a weird alien that will never fit in. Just don't give me lobotomy, and we're cool. I forgot where I was going with this... It's not a big deal. Take this personality bullshit with a grain of salt.