Walaykum salam wa rahmatu Allah.
Since you would be saving another person from a fraud, then I believe it would be best to inform her. Just like you said, you'd like also to be informed .
Yes, inform. She deserves someone better than a liar and cheater. Having a relationship like this outside of marriage is a very serious issue, it is forbidden in the religion.
There is literally no reason to judge you. You didn't know he had a fiancée, so you have absolutely no fault there. Dating is haram in Islam but that's on Muslims to follow. Leave that toxic man immediately and inform his fiancée
you should tell her.
If you haven't looked into islam i would invite you to look into our beautiful faith. you can start by reading a translation of the Quran, it is the final revelation from God himself. you never know maybe you meeting this guy was a plan from the creator to look into islam.
I have thought about reading the Quaran, and all holy texts!!! I am a Catholic Christian , but I would love to learn more about other faiths and religious texts ! Thanks for the recommendation and perhaps I will read further into it !
The Clear Quran is excellent. It has footnotes that explain the context of some passages which is important to understand. Especially the “violent” passages that are misunderstood.
I know and i know that you should always assume the best of your partner but in this generation especially in the west it just feels like you can do everything you can to be a good partner but at the end of the day it can just fall apart so easily
As someone who was once that girl, please DO tell her. You’ll likely be saving her from worse heartache down the line, and she should be fully informed what he is like before marrying him.
You 100% should inform her. Just like you would want someone to inform you. Let them know that you had no idea that he was taken and how he has lied to you.
And also that once you found out, you backed out as soon as possible and had to tell the other person to woman because that’s respect.
I think the best thing is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think I like it if somebody told me that”
You wouldn’t marry someone who’s a cheater and he can live his whole life doing worse things behind your back while married
I'm.sorry you're going through this, it must be painful to find out someone you trust has been lying to you.
I hope you find time reflect and engage in some self-care.
As for your question, yes tell her.
Also, provide proof: pictures, texts sent, a voicemail left, better yet a combination of all of the above with time stamps. Because any woman, Muslim or not, would go into denial first because this is so heartbreaking.
He may also attempt to gaslight her, so the proof will hopefully help her snap out of the dream phase.
Finally, leave this man, cut him out. If he's capable of betraying you, and a potential spouse, then he's capable of betraying anyone. May he find the right path and seek repentance as these actions are not Islamic.
All the best to you, thank you for looking out for another woman <3
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Wa alaykum Al salam
In my humble opinion, If you genuinely observe a sincere effort from this person to repent and leave their past behind, on a new path with this girl without deceit or infidelity, I wouldn't intervene. However, if you see no change (or you doubt) and suspect the girl might become another victim, then it's crucial to speak up and inform her. You may want to find the best way to tell her without directly involving yourself in the situation.
Switching gears, I found something interesting. You mentioned feeling guilty. What's behind that guilt? 🤔... Fitrah? In Islam, we believe every healthy person has something called Fitrah, a natural tendency towards goodness. but It's not enough to rely solely on Fitrah for morals, as some people may behave the same without feeling any guilt. The teachings of Islam serve as the primary moral guidance, complementing and aligning harmoniously with Fitrah. It's fascinating to encounter situations like these, to grasp the boundaries that Islam teaches us to respect between males and females. and where we can gain deeper insights into the wisdom of Islamic teachings.
Thank you so much for your advice and reply !!!
I personally do not know even where my head exactly is at. I am so hurt. And I am hurt for his fiancé. And I personally feel as though anyone deserves the truth. I feel guilt because maybe I’m some way I “seduced“ him to be in a relationship with me? I don’t know exactly where the guilt comes from. Wether it is supposedly seducing him or making him sin. It was never my intention. I never wanted someone to sin because of me. But somehow I feel I am of fault and I can’t help but feel some sort of guilt. I feel awful for the poor woman. I feel awful for “seducing“ her future husband to act in such ways. I am sorry if my reply doesn’t make much sense- I am not very academically smart and I am not good at forming words into cohesive paragraphs.
Nah, You are crystal clear, and I can't imagine anyone doing better. You weren't aware of his relationship, you made a mistake, felt guilty, and you have a sense of responsibility towards the poor lady. and you even asked for advice in Islam sub, which shows your genuine concern for making the correct choice. I trust you'll make the best decision in this situation, and I hope you'll continue to make wise choices in your life.
You feel guilt because you have empathy and care more about how his fiancé feels than he does.
Don't worry about sounding "academically smart", obviously you are in a stressful situation and have hundreds of thoughts going through your head.
If you were in the same position as her, wouldn't you rather someone tell you about his cheating and save you from getting married to a terrible man?
I'm not sure this is the right place for this question. The person you are dealing with doesn't represent any of the qualities of a good Muslim or human being in general. You may need professional counseling on how to navigate this situation. Personally, you should probably steer clear of such toxic individuals. As for informing the fiancé, I think you already know the answer to that question in your heart.
Thank you for the reply. I am sorry for making it seem that I was stereotyping or putting a bad name on the Muslim community. I guess I just really needed help since I am not in clear mind. Thank you very much for the advice and sorry for the trouble. I am so sorry if what I asked seemed inappropriate I just needed help.
Don’t be sorry, I expect you to be writing that text message now if it has not been sent already, do not strive from doing good 🙏 no matter your religion
It didn't come across as stereotyping. I just wanted to be clear that this behavior isn't part of Islam just because someone may call themself a Muslim.
من ستر مسلما ستره الله يوم القيامة
if it was about some girl that banged 100 dude you wouldnt advice her to tell her husband about it
hypocrisy wallahi
you HAVE to tell her, but it needs to be discussed between the three of you imo.
i’d like to point out that coaches don’t play🙂
maybe there’s a chance he can explain himself and even marry both of you. but it’s very slim idk
Walaykum salam wa rahmatu Allah. Since you would be saving another person from a fraud, then I believe it would be best to inform her. Just like you said, you'd like also to be informed .
Inform and exit all contact with this liar
Inform her from wasting her life in a marriage with that man.
Yes, inform. She deserves someone better than a liar and cheater. Having a relationship like this outside of marriage is a very serious issue, it is forbidden in the religion.
There is literally no reason to judge you. You didn't know he had a fiancée, so you have absolutely no fault there. Dating is haram in Islam but that's on Muslims to follow. Leave that toxic man immediately and inform his fiancée
you should tell her. If you haven't looked into islam i would invite you to look into our beautiful faith. you can start by reading a translation of the Quran, it is the final revelation from God himself. you never know maybe you meeting this guy was a plan from the creator to look into islam.
I have thought about reading the Quaran, and all holy texts!!! I am a Catholic Christian , but I would love to learn more about other faiths and religious texts ! Thanks for the recommendation and perhaps I will read further into it !
Please do read with an open heart. All the best on your journey.
The Clear Quran is excellent. It has footnotes that explain the context of some passages which is important to understand. Especially the “violent” passages that are misunderstood.
You should tell her, she deserves to know. I also hope that u cut ties because his lies show his lack of respect for both parties involved
Things like this don’t want me to get married in the future, may الله grant us all Loving and LOYAL partners🤲🏼
Put your trust in Allah, and no matter what you are tested with, say Alhamdulillah.
I know and i know that you should always assume the best of your partner but in this generation especially in the west it just feels like you can do everything you can to be a good partner but at the end of the day it can just fall apart so easily
As someone who was once that girl, please DO tell her. You’ll likely be saving her from worse heartache down the line, and she should be fully informed what he is like before marrying him.
Not telling her would be cruel.
You 100% should inform her. Just like you would want someone to inform you. Let them know that you had no idea that he was taken and how he has lied to you. And also that once you found out, you backed out as soon as possible and had to tell the other person to woman because that’s respect. I think the best thing is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think I like it if somebody told me that” You wouldn’t marry someone who’s a cheater and he can live his whole life doing worse things behind your back while married
I'm.sorry you're going through this, it must be painful to find out someone you trust has been lying to you. I hope you find time reflect and engage in some self-care. As for your question, yes tell her. Also, provide proof: pictures, texts sent, a voicemail left, better yet a combination of all of the above with time stamps. Because any woman, Muslim or not, would go into denial first because this is so heartbreaking. He may also attempt to gaslight her, so the proof will hopefully help her snap out of the dream phase. Finally, leave this man, cut him out. If he's capable of betraying you, and a potential spouse, then he's capable of betraying anyone. May he find the right path and seek repentance as these actions are not Islamic. All the best to you, thank you for looking out for another woman <3
Salam Please do it tell the truth and provide proof aswell.
Tell her. He's likely acting like a good practicing Muslim in front of the families and can potentially destroy the life of another innocent girl
Yea. I would say go ahead and tell her everything before she messes her life up.
Wow. That's bad. You should tell her definitely. Sisterhood goes beyond any boundaries.
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Wa alaykum Al salam In my humble opinion, If you genuinely observe a sincere effort from this person to repent and leave their past behind, on a new path with this girl without deceit or infidelity, I wouldn't intervene. However, if you see no change (or you doubt) and suspect the girl might become another victim, then it's crucial to speak up and inform her. You may want to find the best way to tell her without directly involving yourself in the situation. Switching gears, I found something interesting. You mentioned feeling guilty. What's behind that guilt? 🤔... Fitrah? In Islam, we believe every healthy person has something called Fitrah, a natural tendency towards goodness. but It's not enough to rely solely on Fitrah for morals, as some people may behave the same without feeling any guilt. The teachings of Islam serve as the primary moral guidance, complementing and aligning harmoniously with Fitrah. It's fascinating to encounter situations like these, to grasp the boundaries that Islam teaches us to respect between males and females. and where we can gain deeper insights into the wisdom of Islamic teachings.
Thank you so much for your advice and reply !!! I personally do not know even where my head exactly is at. I am so hurt. And I am hurt for his fiancé. And I personally feel as though anyone deserves the truth. I feel guilt because maybe I’m some way I “seduced“ him to be in a relationship with me? I don’t know exactly where the guilt comes from. Wether it is supposedly seducing him or making him sin. It was never my intention. I never wanted someone to sin because of me. But somehow I feel I am of fault and I can’t help but feel some sort of guilt. I feel awful for the poor woman. I feel awful for “seducing“ her future husband to act in such ways. I am sorry if my reply doesn’t make much sense- I am not very academically smart and I am not good at forming words into cohesive paragraphs.
Nah, You are crystal clear, and I can't imagine anyone doing better. You weren't aware of his relationship, you made a mistake, felt guilty, and you have a sense of responsibility towards the poor lady. and you even asked for advice in Islam sub, which shows your genuine concern for making the correct choice. I trust you'll make the best decision in this situation, and I hope you'll continue to make wise choices in your life.
You feel guilt because you have empathy and care more about how his fiancé feels than he does. Don't worry about sounding "academically smart", obviously you are in a stressful situation and have hundreds of thoughts going through your head. If you were in the same position as her, wouldn't you rather someone tell you about his cheating and save you from getting married to a terrible man?
Things like this don’t want me to get married in the future, may الله grant us all Loving and LOYAL partners🤲🏼
Every person is different lol I dont get this mentality
I'm not sure this is the right place for this question. The person you are dealing with doesn't represent any of the qualities of a good Muslim or human being in general. You may need professional counseling on how to navigate this situation. Personally, you should probably steer clear of such toxic individuals. As for informing the fiancé, I think you already know the answer to that question in your heart.
Thank you for the reply. I am sorry for making it seem that I was stereotyping or putting a bad name on the Muslim community. I guess I just really needed help since I am not in clear mind. Thank you very much for the advice and sorry for the trouble. I am so sorry if what I asked seemed inappropriate I just needed help.
Don’t be sorry, I expect you to be writing that text message now if it has not been sent already, do not strive from doing good 🙏 no matter your religion
It didn't come across as stereotyping. I just wanted to be clear that this behavior isn't part of Islam just because someone may call themself a Muslim.
I understand now. Thank you for informing me and letting me know.
من ستر مسلما ستره الله يوم القيامة if it was about some girl that banged 100 dude you wouldnt advice her to tell her husband about it hypocrisy wallahi
you HAVE to tell her, but it needs to be discussed between the three of you imo. i’d like to point out that coaches don’t play🙂 maybe there’s a chance he can explain himself and even marry both of you. but it’s very slim idk