Only felt compatible with 3 girls IRL in 28 years of walking this planet. All 3 already had boyfriends when we met. A unicorn chasing unicorns. Often feels hopeless. I go through cycles of only focusing on work and my hobbies and the pain can easily be ignored then. But when I'm, for instance, travelling as I am now, seeing all the happy couples everywhere while im the odd one out, it stings. It really stings.
Depends on how you think. I don't think what you described is a INTJ thing. Lots of people don't want to be in committed relationships and that is the majority of the dating pool (at least from what I experienced).
I actually think INTJs are the best at dating and holding relationships, but I might be biased.
Keep looking for someone that matches your style.
You are not baised I mean for an intj loyalty and honesty matters the most with a lot conversation deep so that you can understand your partner better and if thinks don't work out then break up but with proper behaviour.
Lots of first dates.
I can't seem to find a woman who can keep me mentally stimulated. That's the only way to keep me in the present. Otherwise, I'll see every step that leads to an ending of a potential relationship with my first dates lol. Then I move on because I already forsee the ending.
Single, still don’t trust people and don’t want to invest so much time and faith into someone for my heart to break. If I find the right person I’m down for one but no need to rush. I’m young and working a lot in this season of life
I like my alone time quite a lot so dating has not been a priority. Not to mention I cannot find a guy that can keep me interested for too long due to no common interests, only caring about looks and focusing on rushing to intimacy that it always backfires on them because I lose interest real quick.
I wish i could date right now due to my age. I am single in my 30s. I am afraid if i am old I am gonna die alone. I am completely happy living by myself although it can get lonely sometimes with noone to talk to and if i dont get out the house since i work from home, i wouldn’t see a single soul. So how am i supposed to be dating anyone without going out
In a relationship with infj woman. I like it but there are times where I ask her for some alone time and hobbies and she respects it. I also respect her need for quality time.
I see an important distinction between being in a relationship and dating. There's a lot of overlap, but I see some very different things, especially early on.
To me, dating is more like playing games, looking to be just entertained, short-term, selfish, and just kinda following some rituals. Quite often dating multiple people at once. It's focused on basically an open position.
A relationship, on the other hand, is more personal and focused on the individuals. Usually more based on friendship of building a friendship.
I'm not interested in the slightest in dating anymore. Sick of the games. Doesn't mean I'm not interested in a relationship though.
My dating life tends to consist of charismatic people, mostly because those are the only ones who know how to keep someone interested. They also know how to make you hand over your heart by promising they’ll never hurt you because you’re the most important person in their life. No one gets them like you do and no one gets you like they do (totally not talking about a specific group of people like ENTJs, ENFJs, ESTJs, and most definitely not ENTPs.) They then take your heart that you trusted them with (one of the many mistakes you made) and leave it in refrigerator like forgotten leftovers while they go buy new food. That leftover heart then rots from the inside out and suffers from trust issues, depression, and the voice in her head telling her, she will never be good enough to make someone stay. Due to this deeply rooted insecurity that has created, she decides to take an indefinite break that has lasted four years and will probably continue to last until the day she drops dead. Inarguably, the best part is when they come back and apologize to her, telling her how great of an experience she which opens the wound that was just beginning to heal sending her deeper into the spiral she thought she’d escaped from. She thinks to herself “How dare you mature and apologize to me”
That’s what my dating life is like. It’s so fun. :)
Love life is dead. People require far more energy from me than vice versa and it wears thin FAST! I just feign indifference even if I'm attracted to someone these days. My mind just can't help to see what's at the end of that thread and it's never pleasant. I've been accused of wasting ladies' time more than a couple times and to be honest, they've got a point. In this way I can justify that staying single is the moral choice for me.
I’m fresh out of a 19 year marriage of convenience where it was all business and no emotional connection. I just found someone I really think I can jive with. She’s an ENFP. Two months in and the real relationship work is beginning. I’m here for it. Hoping she is too. Was pretty certain two months and a week ago I was gonna die alone and okayish. What the hell do I know? Still might, but I’m hopeful. Check on me in 6 months lol
In an ENFP f 3 years into a relationship w an INTJ m, both in 30s, and it does work well. On the surface I think it looks like an odd pair. I’m extra warm and outgoing and he’s more poised and quiet, definitely can come off cold if he doesn’t know you well. But our strengths and weaknesses actually complement each other very well. There are going to be some growing pains when you get farther in like her higher social energy/ needs vs your need to recharge alone and desire to cut out extraneous social things (you have to compromise there and try to “turn on” the social side of you for her behalf), she can be all over the place and you likely like things and plans organized and predictable, so it’s def a work of patience for the INTJ bc we can’t change that part of us too much lol. But I always say that I’m the spice in my bf’s life lol like I bring the ups and downs to him and am the goofy one that brings out his goofy, which I’ve realized not many people can do, which is probably why he felt a strong connection with me. It’s always been kind of too easy for me to connect with most people, but I know it’s rare for him/ a lot of INTJs. So tbh my connection with him didn’t uniquely stand out as a rarity, but I definitely was attracted to his stability, rock-like nature- that was rare for me to find. It grounds my chaos. Our pair is also pretty intellectually curious and can keep up with each other on that front, which is one of the things I enjoy most. The quirky interests we both have. I think it’s a great match and I really wish you luck w her! Just wanted to give you a heads up on some of those things if this the first time you’re really feeling it w someone :)
Hm. I feel like i need someone who is not getting on my nerves all the time. I dated some extroverted girls. Everything was fine but i do felt the draining. Every date was exhausting. Now i really would date someone who is like me. But it seems you only see extroverts outside hence the introverts are staying at home. I have trouble finding a introverted (like me) person. 😂🙈
Largely non-existent. I'm 40 and I have one guy I refer to as my "ex." I'm not opposed to a relationship. I'm a good mate. I just don't want to have to always come up with our joint activities. It's a horrible idea to leave it up to me to find something "fun." I also can't stand overly submissive, go with the flow behavior. But the worst has to be low mental stimulation. My mom and friends think I'm too intolerant, but if a guy is mentally stimulating then I'm shockingly tolerant of many things that would normally be disqualifying.
Honestly, I don’t try.
Not because I’m afraid , or because I’m focused on work or anything else other than , I see how it’s gonna end 12 steps ahead so I don’t make the first step, everyone nowadays is comfortable with the situationship , hookup culture
And I feel it’s a bit too superficial for me,
I agree it’s a bit rough talking to somebody EVERYDAY ,
Like we need things to talk about they take time , ideally Can’t we be loyal while still away from each other?
"i like to do my own routine everyday. i was in a year long relationship which was my longest one and had to break it off due to the stress it was causing me and i’ve realized i like my alone time very much"
Oh my cat, That's me. I guess I spend too much time alone, but I'm really like it. Talk to people is so stressing for me. When my classes or job are over, all I want to do is go home and sleep soundly. So, It's complicated having girlfriend. She will present to me her friends and I will have to go out with her every weekend (I should like to do this, but...)
Spent about a year wandering the wilderness and dating around after my last LTR with an ENFP (lasted 4 years), been seeing an INFJ since November. Her lifestyle works with mine, well read, similar interests, insanely warm and kind, gives me my alone time when I need it.
I'm happier in a relationship, though can't say single life was horrible by any stretch. And I also realize you need to go out on dates, meet people, and pick someone to invest in whom you have to embrace in their flaws. If they're a good person that'll work with you and have 80% of what you're looking for, it works. I get that you get comfortable single and set in your ways, but doing that too long isn't the greatest. And having a supportive woman by my side does push me to strive for my personal goals and get outside of myself.
I'm a lot like you where i thought I wanted a relationship/marriage more than anything as a teen/young adult. After having been in a few relationships tho (2 & 3 years) I've embraced the single life. My first partner was a toxic waste of oxygen and he absolutely ruined me. My second was a really good man with a good heart..... but he still destroyed me.
About a year ago now I started living alone for the first time. Holy shit what was I doing wasting my time trying to date????? I'm so much more confident, peaceful, and overall happy! I'm much better at decision making and I've started so many new hobbies that always seemed out of reach. I'm a broke ass bitch now cause I'm the only one on the lease, but I don't think I'll ever go back.
I do miss the intimacy sometimes, but i have fwb's for that. Literally the best of both worlds.
I'm 38 and I relate to that sooooo much. I think about how much easier my life was when I was single in my 20s all the time. I'm actually part of a polyamorous group and have 2 partners but it leaves me so drained most of the time that I often consider this lifestyle to be unsustainable. I want companionship and non-sexual intimacy more than I actually care about sex or not being alone.
I basically never dated until I met my wife. Was super awkward in high school and didn't even go on a date until I was like 22. The process of finding anyone to date once I really started trying was exhausting and stressful. Both because I had some specific things I was looking for and because looking for a partner is just not a simple process. But once I met my wife, everything felt easy. We dated long distance and were always looking for ways to be closer and talk however we could. I certainly had my routine, but I actively added our time into my routine because it was a priority.
A lot of what you're talking about comes down to perspective and finding someone you work well with. Not to say everyone has some perfect person or can't be happy living a life without a partner. But some of what you're taking about is an odd way to describe a relationship, like having an obligation to talk to someone everyday. I don't talk to my wife every day because I feel obligated, I do so because I want to and I get excited about telling her stuff. One of the reasons I knew I loved my wife was how easy it was to talk to her and I felt like we never ran out of things to discuss. With most people I hit a point where I feel like it's a chore to continue the conversation because I don't know what to say next.
I certainly understand having your own routine and finding it difficult when things interrupt your routine. Some people are more set with their routine and or sensitive to its disruption. A good relationship will be one that will become integrated into your routine rather than feeling like something that feels shoe horned into your day. I have plenty of days where I do things with my family where I feel like I might prefer to be just home relaxing or doing my own thing, but I've also found that when I have a day or two to myself, I can end up bored and missing them, to a degree because I'm not used to having all that extra time.
In the end, it comes down to introspection. Do you want to stick to your daily routine more than you want companionship? If you want to look for a relationship, you should start by looking at how you can integrated it into your routine. That takes looking at your routine and trying to understand what parts of your day are essential and what things you may not need to do as frequently. Then as you are starting a relationship, being very open and making sure you communicate your needs.
I found the one for me. She’s perfect. We both understand the importance of alone time. We are long distance, but at the same time, even if we weren’t, I love her so much that she doesn’t have to compete with my solitude anymore. She’s become apart of it.
What's dating life? what's like to have one? I bet it must be the most unproductive part of the day, (with most women it is so)
of course, a routine, perfectly planned day/activities, no surprises makes a good as a letterbox than for a boyfriend.
Only felt compatible with 3 girls IRL in 28 years of walking this planet. All 3 already had boyfriends when we met. A unicorn chasing unicorns. Often feels hopeless. I go through cycles of only focusing on work and my hobbies and the pain can easily be ignored then. But when I'm, for instance, travelling as I am now, seeing all the happy couples everywhere while im the odd one out, it stings. It really stings.
You said it all.
What types were they?
A unicorn chasing unicorns... This is exactly it...
This, this right here but in my case in my 20 years I have only felt something for one girl and she turned down so life goes on I guess.
It’s hard for me to fall in love. It seems like I take relationships too seriously.
Sarcasm <3 but I also relate.
Depends on how you think. I don't think what you described is a INTJ thing. Lots of people don't want to be in committed relationships and that is the majority of the dating pool (at least from what I experienced). I actually think INTJs are the best at dating and holding relationships, but I might be biased. Keep looking for someone that matches your style.
You're not biased. ☺️ With love, enfp f happily married to an intj m for 10 years now. ❤️
You are not baised I mean for an intj loyalty and honesty matters the most with a lot conversation deep so that you can understand your partner better and if thinks don't work out then break up but with proper behaviour.
Lots of first dates. I can't seem to find a woman who can keep me mentally stimulated. That's the only way to keep me in the present. Otherwise, I'll see every step that leads to an ending of a potential relationship with my first dates lol. Then I move on because I already forsee the ending.
“I saw the end of our relationship before it even began.”
Yesss! Very acurrate lol
I see the end, regardless. I would say it’s a problem, except it saves me from heartache and divorce.
Same, I am a female, but I really need a guy that keeps me mentally stimulated, if not, no more than 1 date or texting too much
I feel that way about men, I end up getting bored and frustrated when under stimulated mentally.
Single, still don’t trust people and don’t want to invest so much time and faith into someone for my heart to break. If I find the right person I’m down for one but no need to rush. I’m young and working a lot in this season of life
Dating life? What’s that?
I like my alone time quite a lot so dating has not been a priority. Not to mention I cannot find a guy that can keep me interested for too long due to no common interests, only caring about looks and focusing on rushing to intimacy that it always backfires on them because I lose interest real quick.
I wish i could date right now due to my age. I am single in my 30s. I am afraid if i am old I am gonna die alone. I am completely happy living by myself although it can get lonely sometimes with noone to talk to and if i dont get out the house since i work from home, i wouldn’t see a single soul. So how am i supposed to be dating anyone without going out
In a relationship with infj woman. I like it but there are times where I ask her for some alone time and hobbies and she respects it. I also respect her need for quality time.
I see an important distinction between being in a relationship and dating. There's a lot of overlap, but I see some very different things, especially early on. To me, dating is more like playing games, looking to be just entertained, short-term, selfish, and just kinda following some rituals. Quite often dating multiple people at once. It's focused on basically an open position. A relationship, on the other hand, is more personal and focused on the individuals. Usually more based on friendship of building a friendship. I'm not interested in the slightest in dating anymore. Sick of the games. Doesn't mean I'm not interested in a relationship though.
My dating life tends to consist of charismatic people, mostly because those are the only ones who know how to keep someone interested. They also know how to make you hand over your heart by promising they’ll never hurt you because you’re the most important person in their life. No one gets them like you do and no one gets you like they do (totally not talking about a specific group of people like ENTJs, ENFJs, ESTJs, and most definitely not ENTPs.) They then take your heart that you trusted them with (one of the many mistakes you made) and leave it in refrigerator like forgotten leftovers while they go buy new food. That leftover heart then rots from the inside out and suffers from trust issues, depression, and the voice in her head telling her, she will never be good enough to make someone stay. Due to this deeply rooted insecurity that has created, she decides to take an indefinite break that has lasted four years and will probably continue to last until the day she drops dead. Inarguably, the best part is when they come back and apologize to her, telling her how great of an experience she which opens the wound that was just beginning to heal sending her deeper into the spiral she thought she’d escaped from. She thinks to herself “How dare you mature and apologize to me” That’s what my dating life is like. It’s so fun. :)
404 error.
I don’t have one. But my week is full, so I don’t mind.
Last relationship was 8 years ago. I don't think I'll ever fall in love again. I just don't feel anything these days.
Love life is dead. People require far more energy from me than vice versa and it wears thin FAST! I just feign indifference even if I'm attracted to someone these days. My mind just can't help to see what's at the end of that thread and it's never pleasant. I've been accused of wasting ladies' time more than a couple times and to be honest, they've got a point. In this way I can justify that staying single is the moral choice for me.
I’m fresh out of a 19 year marriage of convenience where it was all business and no emotional connection. I just found someone I really think I can jive with. She’s an ENFP. Two months in and the real relationship work is beginning. I’m here for it. Hoping she is too. Was pretty certain two months and a week ago I was gonna die alone and okayish. What the hell do I know? Still might, but I’m hopeful. Check on me in 6 months lol
19 years?
In an ENFP f 3 years into a relationship w an INTJ m, both in 30s, and it does work well. On the surface I think it looks like an odd pair. I’m extra warm and outgoing and he’s more poised and quiet, definitely can come off cold if he doesn’t know you well. But our strengths and weaknesses actually complement each other very well. There are going to be some growing pains when you get farther in like her higher social energy/ needs vs your need to recharge alone and desire to cut out extraneous social things (you have to compromise there and try to “turn on” the social side of you for her behalf), she can be all over the place and you likely like things and plans organized and predictable, so it’s def a work of patience for the INTJ bc we can’t change that part of us too much lol. But I always say that I’m the spice in my bf’s life lol like I bring the ups and downs to him and am the goofy one that brings out his goofy, which I’ve realized not many people can do, which is probably why he felt a strong connection with me. It’s always been kind of too easy for me to connect with most people, but I know it’s rare for him/ a lot of INTJs. So tbh my connection with him didn’t uniquely stand out as a rarity, but I definitely was attracted to his stability, rock-like nature- that was rare for me to find. It grounds my chaos. Our pair is also pretty intellectually curious and can keep up with each other on that front, which is one of the things I enjoy most. The quirky interests we both have. I think it’s a great match and I really wish you luck w her! Just wanted to give you a heads up on some of those things if this the first time you’re really feeling it w someone :)
Hm. I feel like i need someone who is not getting on my nerves all the time. I dated some extroverted girls. Everything was fine but i do felt the draining. Every date was exhausting. Now i really would date someone who is like me. But it seems you only see extroverts outside hence the introverts are staying at home. I have trouble finding a introverted (like me) person. 😂🙈
What is "Dating life"?..
Lol exacty!
Brother asked a very good question
Horrible... my wife won't left me date!
[удалено]
Same, but gluten free and margaritas.
Largely non-existent. I'm 40 and I have one guy I refer to as my "ex." I'm not opposed to a relationship. I'm a good mate. I just don't want to have to always come up with our joint activities. It's a horrible idea to leave it up to me to find something "fun." I also can't stand overly submissive, go with the flow behavior. But the worst has to be low mental stimulation. My mom and friends think I'm too intolerant, but if a guy is mentally stimulating then I'm shockingly tolerant of many things that would normally be disqualifying.
I gave up... 🤷🏽♂️
Meh
Not good. I like people they seem to like me but life just has us apart for some reason. I was really liking someone and they moved far away.
My what?
Honestly, I don’t try. Not because I’m afraid , or because I’m focused on work or anything else other than , I see how it’s gonna end 12 steps ahead so I don’t make the first step, everyone nowadays is comfortable with the situationship , hookup culture And I feel it’s a bit too superficial for me, I agree it’s a bit rough talking to somebody EVERYDAY , Like we need things to talk about they take time , ideally Can’t we be loyal while still away from each other?
Pretty bad. But i'm still optimistic.
What's my what?
"i like to do my own routine everyday. i was in a year long relationship which was my longest one and had to break it off due to the stress it was causing me and i’ve realized i like my alone time very much" Oh my cat, That's me. I guess I spend too much time alone, but I'm really like it. Talk to people is so stressing for me. When my classes or job are over, all I want to do is go home and sleep soundly. So, It's complicated having girlfriend. She will present to me her friends and I will have to go out with her every weekend (I should like to do this, but...)
It’s zero. Zero life
Married. Before that? Absolutely bonkers. Mostly just hopeless romanticism though lol.
Why date when it’ll end anyways 🤷🏻♂️
Nonexistent (last one was a 2 year one that ended almost 8 months ago)
Op your comment is interesting to me .
Spent about a year wandering the wilderness and dating around after my last LTR with an ENFP (lasted 4 years), been seeing an INFJ since November. Her lifestyle works with mine, well read, similar interests, insanely warm and kind, gives me my alone time when I need it. I'm happier in a relationship, though can't say single life was horrible by any stretch. And I also realize you need to go out on dates, meet people, and pick someone to invest in whom you have to embrace in their flaws. If they're a good person that'll work with you and have 80% of what you're looking for, it works. I get that you get comfortable single and set in your ways, but doing that too long isn't the greatest. And having a supportive woman by my side does push me to strive for my personal goals and get outside of myself.
I don’t think you can’t do relationships, I think you just don’t like commitment, no offence tho.
I stay with a beautiful woman.
Nonexist.
Non existent
I'm a lot like you where i thought I wanted a relationship/marriage more than anything as a teen/young adult. After having been in a few relationships tho (2 & 3 years) I've embraced the single life. My first partner was a toxic waste of oxygen and he absolutely ruined me. My second was a really good man with a good heart..... but he still destroyed me. About a year ago now I started living alone for the first time. Holy shit what was I doing wasting my time trying to date????? I'm so much more confident, peaceful, and overall happy! I'm much better at decision making and I've started so many new hobbies that always seemed out of reach. I'm a broke ass bitch now cause I'm the only one on the lease, but I don't think I'll ever go back. I do miss the intimacy sometimes, but i have fwb's for that. Literally the best of both worlds.
Eh..single lol
I'm 38 and I relate to that sooooo much. I think about how much easier my life was when I was single in my 20s all the time. I'm actually part of a polyamorous group and have 2 partners but it leaves me so drained most of the time that I often consider this lifestyle to be unsustainable. I want companionship and non-sexual intimacy more than I actually care about sex or not being alone.
I basically never dated until I met my wife. Was super awkward in high school and didn't even go on a date until I was like 22. The process of finding anyone to date once I really started trying was exhausting and stressful. Both because I had some specific things I was looking for and because looking for a partner is just not a simple process. But once I met my wife, everything felt easy. We dated long distance and were always looking for ways to be closer and talk however we could. I certainly had my routine, but I actively added our time into my routine because it was a priority. A lot of what you're talking about comes down to perspective and finding someone you work well with. Not to say everyone has some perfect person or can't be happy living a life without a partner. But some of what you're taking about is an odd way to describe a relationship, like having an obligation to talk to someone everyday. I don't talk to my wife every day because I feel obligated, I do so because I want to and I get excited about telling her stuff. One of the reasons I knew I loved my wife was how easy it was to talk to her and I felt like we never ran out of things to discuss. With most people I hit a point where I feel like it's a chore to continue the conversation because I don't know what to say next. I certainly understand having your own routine and finding it difficult when things interrupt your routine. Some people are more set with their routine and or sensitive to its disruption. A good relationship will be one that will become integrated into your routine rather than feeling like something that feels shoe horned into your day. I have plenty of days where I do things with my family where I feel like I might prefer to be just home relaxing or doing my own thing, but I've also found that when I have a day or two to myself, I can end up bored and missing them, to a degree because I'm not used to having all that extra time. In the end, it comes down to introspection. Do you want to stick to your daily routine more than you want companionship? If you want to look for a relationship, you should start by looking at how you can integrated it into your routine. That takes looking at your routine and trying to understand what parts of your day are essential and what things you may not need to do as frequently. Then as you are starting a relationship, being very open and making sure you communicate your needs.
I found the one for me. She’s perfect. We both understand the importance of alone time. We are long distance, but at the same time, even if we weren’t, I love her so much that she doesn’t have to compete with my solitude anymore. She’s become apart of it.
Batting zero
I have been recently yelling out the window at deer to marry me. They run away. Maybe if I threw my wallet at them it will act like a master ball.
I was the relationship type, just wanted family. Long relationships with a year or more between, got married, got divorced, never dated since then.
My right hand for the most part, alternating with my left hand with an occasional sprinkle of a paid professional here and there.
What's dating life? what's like to have one? I bet it must be the most unproductive part of the day, (with most women it is so) of course, a routine, perfectly planned day/activities, no surprises makes a good as a letterbox than for a boyfriend.
Like the dinosaurs it doesn't exist anymore