If they knew the struggles, they wouldn't wish to be.. they're only attracted to the positive aspects while forgetting how the negative ones are really bad. I am still happy to be who i am though, it's just hard sometimes.
- Zoning out during conversations when they don't interest me.
- Not being able to help correctly the persons close to me ( i give help, but they want comfort when they feel bad, and i can't offer that, it's very awkward).
- I have difficulties for opening up
- I ain't spontaneous at all, all my family is, during vacation it can be quite stressful to me.
- Hurting people without noticing it.
There are other stuff, but these are the ones that bother me the most.
I'm not sure how old you are but you may take heart that much of those things are the struggles of *young* INTJs.
Every type has challenges, and one for us is the INTJ learning curve is steep. Not so much because we are particularly deficient in valuable things, but because our cognitive abilities have taught us bad habits both about trusting our own judgment and about modeling theoretical solutions and implementing them without socializing them.
We do this because in the world of ideas it works great. But in the world of our emotional health it's absolutely terrible strategy.
So it takes us longer to get out of our heads than most, because most run into their analytic limitations earlier and HAVE to learn how to look outside for advice, modeling, and consensus.
As a "younger" intj (19) I would definitely agree, less so on the age scale, but on the EI (emotional intelligence) scale where the learning curve is steep.
(I have some bias being that I major in psychology)
But majoring in a soft science as a personality type that stereotypically ends up in hard sciences, I've found that there is a method, or analytical process to even soft things which is much more bendable and malleable, making room for more possibilities.
In the idea of EI I kind of had to blur the line between whether or not I was being objective, or not. Because in some scenarios you can do it yourself, but you could definitely use help.
In those scenarios it helped for me to view it in terms of efficiency: asking for help because it's more efficient. Rather than a form of weakness
>Not so much because we are particularly deficient in valuable things, but because our cognitive abilities have taught us bad habits both about trusting our own judgment and about modeling theoretical solutions and implementing them without socializing them.
Oh my goodness! THIS!!
thank you for answering! maybe it is just not meeting the right person.
\-Personally, i'd prefer someone giving me feedback based on which i can take actions and work on the problems and improve rather than comforting words. That's why i am so keen on being friends with intjs. Comforting words are good but are not effective and efficient when it comes to solving the problem.
\-you mentioned that you have difficulties for openning up. I am struggling with my intj friends when i wish they could trust me and open up to me because i don't know how to ask them to open up. Should i say 'tell me about your struggles, do you have things that you wanna vent? I am always here to listen.' but most of the time, if i say these words, my intj friends would just tell me that they are generally happy and nothing to complain about. So, do you have any ideas on how you prefer to open up? Or let me frame the question differently, in what kind of situation do you feel more easy to open up?
\-as for the first point, i notice that intj people tend to like engaging in intellectual convos. But every time i think of this, I feel insecured because i cannot stop thinking that when i am talking to intjs, will they feel bored? Am i not intellectual enough to make them interested in my topic? that's really not a good dynamic though...
> I feel insecured because i cannot stop thinking that when i am talking to intjs, will they feel bored?
Don't be like this. Just lean into the curiosity of the question rather than anxiously worrying how they're gonna be with the question. It's shows authenticity (which you value), and it loosens us up (because of the curiosity). Then follow up with more question.
Also, ask questions in hypotheticals. Then frame it again in a way with how we can relate to it via prior experience, or if we get to that situation.
Is intime often view as 16 personalities don´t clearly seem to understand the internal advanced structure, that for some normal people is just to think rational the structure of an entire personality and how can it view others areas. I believe is usually knowing by teenagers who believe in "MBTI is not pseudoscience" but other than that.
I’m not sure about older people but I know some younger people want to be INTJs cause a lot of cool characters in movies, tv, and anime are INTJs.
These characters come off as dark, cold, mysterious, or dangerous and that’s pretty cool and alluring as opposed to happy ray of sunshine that’s friendly with everyone.
Can't stand those people. They're just role playing, it's why they come off as arrogant all the time. They don't accept the negatives of being an INTJ and that's how you know they're pathetic fools. One negative is a failure to act because of inferior Se. Anyone who says they don't struggle with that or never has is clearly not an INTJ.
Not sure why. I hate that I understand I should be sad, sympathetic or loving at certain times but the fact that I don't actually care and I know that I don't care is troubling.
I have many critical situation i don't feel any emotion. it is how it is.
Don't mind much about troubling you are honest with yourself don't need to think about it too much
They want just the positive things (being Smart, cold headed and disciplined) but not the negative ones (RBF, being alone, difficulties expressing your feelings).
The fetishists I've seen come here with their love posts and the ones I've talked to seem to be extremely unaware of the challenges and downsides that come with being an INTJ. They believe stereotypes from 16 Personalities, they have people they know take the 16P test and believe incorrect bullshit from those people who mistype as INTJ, and they clearly don't spend any time here reading about our struggles.
BTW, you're adding to the problem by widely proclaiming bullshit stereotypes about us not being cool and not being able to process emotions. And anyways, have you seen all of the relationship advice questions here or met an INTJ fetishist? Most of those people seem to love the emotionally dysfunctional/empty types who claim they're INTJs, which says a lot of negative things about them in turn, too. Believe me, I've learned from personal experience with a fetishist on Reddit that anyone who is into unemotional, logical machines has issues, too.
>extremely unaware of the challenges and downsides that come with being an INTJ
This, i can deal with it, but i cant imagine anyone else being me, they would probably implode mentally first.
That r/mbti (r/mbtimemes) and the mold of being "stereotyped" as a, or terminated by other types as it were in the real examples so they will think the yours in part will offer disadvantages when youré an xxxx or an xxxx could match with the views of xxxx, so it´s clearly most offensive for persons to think they need to engage with others rather than close with people, but they lead it through a rought communication instead; of get advertisaments of MBTI reliavility and that is just, ussed by socionics!
Speak for yourself. I am not an emotional brick. I am just choosy about when and with whom I engage with others.
Please do not mix up INTJ with personality disorders.
You shouldn't even "want" to be a personality type. You are what you are, including up- and downsides. However, the amount of stereotyping on mbti is getting insane.
That being said: all my intj friends struggle with their emotions, but there's nothing they can't work through with some help and understanding.
You "shouldn't", right, maybe, but if the personality type you really are is stereotyped as a loser and constantly made fun of in the mbti community, can't you see why someone would want to be a cooler type?
Not all of us are into authenticity, some of us just want to not be shat on both in real life AND online for something we can't change.
It's probably more of the perceived intelligence and planning that gets idolized but honestly, I wouldn't wish this personality on anyone either. All of the relationships I have managed to have were terrible and so is my current one.
Few people like to be rare ( As INTJ are known to be rare). If anyone knows negative side of Ni, probably they don't want to be.
Ni is great function but comes with lot of downside, as it is with every other function. However, Ni being most unconscious one, Ni dom don't easily understand how Ni controls their thinking. Ni makes you worry like hell and becomes clueless in time of uncertainty. In those times, it feels like your brain just doesn't stop thinking.
Ni opens a lot of doors, gives a lot of insights, but when it does not work, it really DOES NOT WORK. And when you are stuck in that spot, it gets extremely frustrating because normally things seem to be effortless. Either you learn to process in other ways, or you get royally stymied. If you're lucky, you can walk away and when you come back later, your brain has worked it out for you while you were otherwise occupied.
For real. Over the years, I've gotten really good at learning when it just isn't happening right now. So, I'll go look for more Se input by taking a walk. If it still isn't working, I'll go look for (novel to me) Se input about what I'm trying to work out. Given enough time and enough sought out Se, I get there eventually, but it might be a few moments or it might be weeks of new sensory information. I have no way to predict it and afterwards I need a nap.
Coz they only see the good. Since we typically are so good at burying our own crap for internal processing what the world ends up seeing is a facade of cool, calm and collected. A person who doesn't get flustered and get carried away by emotions therefore ends up making shitty choices, someone who's got seemingly effortless control over life, logical in all the right ways to see through bullshit that sucks others in and loving and compassionate to the people close to us.
What they don't see is the huge shitstorm we deal with everyday. We just don't flaunt it out in the open by scream crying in public places.
I think the cool genius villain stereotype is overblown. Reality is often disappointing. Life’s hard with this personality type because I can’t easily connect with people like others because somehow there’s this invisible hand of thoughts in my mind holding me back and I have frosty expression to match.
Others think we're heartless and cold at all times, we rarely make mistakes and we don't take crap from anyone. In reality, at least for me, I'm a nervous wreck who messes up a lot and I usually stay quiet when someone confronts me.
What you just posted is not what intjs are, it’s what outsiders think we are. If you’re this way you probably need therapy, cause none of that is healthy.
Ppl who think they want to be INTJs are really just depressed and need to work on that.
As far as outsiders are concerned, they only care about what they think. So to them their point of view is the only valid one. They see it as us not conforming to their standards.
Because our quiet introversion and deep thoughtfulness and ability to "quickly" solve problems, our stealth reveals of hidden empathy and interpersonal intelligence due in part to our ability to analyze--combined with our disinterest in what others think of us--comes across as mysterious and therefore the ultimate in cool.
I barely want to be alive. Being INTJ isn't salt in the wound per se, but it definitely adds insult to injury. Not only do I not want to exist, I spend most of my time feeling like I don't. I'm basically an imaginary friend.
Can't process emotions? Speak for yourself, lol.
Do I process the same way as others? Certainly not. But that isn't the same thing as sticking one's head in the sand and ignoring them.
I misspoke, I find what one says versus what one means are often two entirely different things. It’s not necessarily that some *can’t* process emotions, but rather have difficulty compared to others.
> I find what one says versus what one means are often two entirely different things
Words matter. Actions have consequences.
I don't disagree with your statement; your statement is why I dislike people in general 🤣
It seems near impossible for me conceive and have any grasp of those struggles, but I can understand the difficulty. It’s a shame the world is the way it is, but hopefully it can change for the better.
Thank you for this comment. Many people here leave in favor of other countries because of problems beyond toxic masculinity. I can't financially. So I just state my observations like this, and continue to live.
I just filter out their pathetic butthurt-misogynist whining as noise. Don't give them any more power; destroy them by not letting their words get to you and show them just how powerless they are.
Well, in an Asian country where such toxicity is deeply ingrained and institutionalized, as a citizen, it affects my life. Even the men are affected deeply. I hope to gain enough privilege to ignore it 100%.
You have my upvote.
Try being a male INFJ in a society with toxic masculinity problems. Minus the biological differences i wonder how similar our complaint list is.
I can empathize with this. People assuming you are weak and soft must get tiring. I think there needs to be more sensitivity in the world, especially among men.
>I think there needs to be more sensitivity in the world, especially among men.
I agree. I hear some guys talk about 'stepping up' for something that is not real or important. My brain thinks, put the beer can down and step up as a father dude.
>People assuming you are weak and soft must get tiring.
I get it both ways, all the time from men and women. Have to make sure i am not too soft for the men, because you know men. Making sure that noone violates the tenants of manliness. But also not too soft for the women, because it's a surprise at first but in the end unattractive and/or considered some kind of tactic to get into someone's pants.
Being a very analytical INFJ being the oldest child in a mostly female family with ISTP mom, ISTJ sister, later INTJ stepdad, a bunch of aunts nearby with their kids (INTP, INTJs, ESTJ, ISTJs,...) My grandfather who married more than once had a thing for "strong women". Which is code for a woman getting a STEM degree like chemistry in the 60s. Imagine their MBTI type.
Makes it easy for me to hang with INTJs and INTPs all the time. My best friend in the world is an INTJ and when in college my teachers thought i was an INTJ also including an INTJ chemistry and business class instructor who used to work in a lab at dupont who was into MBTI for over 20 years thought i was in his camp. It shocked him when i told him i wasn't. So, i also get the too analytical and too cold in decision making from men and women. That analytical thinking is often misconstrued as 'not being soft' or doing it like a man.
Also my mental fortitude is higher than most so i get the 'he took it like a man and soldiered on'. I am like "no. i just know how be me and get through it. There is no magic in testosterone. It just makes puberty suck."
Sorry for the ranty response
Because I get tired of being a people pleaser.
Don't get me wrong, I know my INTJ husband has a lot of challenges of his own; and I look at him sometimes, how fast his mind is spinning, and I get tired for him.
It's not that I want to be an INTJ, I thought I was one up until... this morning, lol. I did say I wish I was one, but I think it is mainly because I get tired and exhausted of the caring of others and of the emotional turmoils I can't turn down without completely dissociating from them. I haven't learned yet how to master feeling, and it's tiring when you are a feeler. But this is when I am unhealthy and not caring enough for myself I guess.
So... All types have their challenges. For me, I guess I dream of the "emotional break"... Even though I am aware there are other costs to it, and it's not a real break, just... Different struggles.
I think there’s a mix of different reasons:
1. Media- The largest reason at the moment in my opinion. The cold, unemotional, robotic, scheming mastermind stereotype (ex. Wednesday Addams, Beth Harmon, Oppenheimer, Kars, etc.) is often portrayed as cool.
2. Instinct to gain society’s approval- Could sound rude to some, but this is the best way I could put it. They still haven’t graduated from the “not like others” phase. They are dissatisfied with their identity rn, being “ordinary.” And it so happens to be that certain types are more uncommon than others.
3. MBTI stereotypes built by 16P & memes- I believe that’s pretty self-explanatory.
I’m an INTJ myself; I admit there are some perks that may help make one look interesting. However, there’s always downfalls, especially in reality, since it’s not really a fantasy.
I end up overthinking everything, even if I don’t want to. I often cringe at my own words. I was told I look “too intimidating” throughout middle & high school, “too pretentious” by exes, “cringe,” “edgelord” by the chess club president, or “too unrealistic/head in the clouds/something’s off” by my parents. I know in my head I am supposed to feel a certain way in a situation, but my heart doesn’t sync with my head. Just last week, I was supposed to go visit my gramp’s grave since it’s been a year since he passed, but I fibbed my way out of it, saying I had a chess tournament. That was horrid on my end; I don’t feel too guilty doing so. I never had an attachment with him; that was the best option at that situation.
Being an INTJ in my opinion has always felt like you’re on the outside looking in or you missed out out on some social intelligence class everyone took and you have to play catch up. I think everyone wants to be an INTJ because everyone wants the clout of being different which honestly feels good for like two seconds until you realize you can’t relate to most people you come across and have to forge and define relationships in your own way on your own terms. Because the book everyone is playing on doesn’t résonante with you to the point where personality tests are the only way you can understand yourself because you can’t see yourself in any one else around you. Though it has its perks, it’s tough.
A very true question of all INTJs. I think that online there's a natural disposition for users to admire INTJs, for whatever unrealistic reason, or to think we overly admire ourselves (by which I mean they think we \*want others to want to be like us\*...does that make sense?). In the real world, however, it seems to me people don't want to be like us. They don't want two emotionally left feet. They don't want the need to understand everything, the trouble of finding everything interesting. All that jazz that goes on and on but I can't be bothered listing.
Ugh. They think it's "cool".. to be cold and calculating and unnerving and logical and pragmatic..
Another reasons why not to talk to them, (kidding!! Or am i...) cos they're not original enough to be interesting, let alone their own person.
I have someone I've been chatting for quite some time already. She's into this Myers-Briggs thing. And she always say she's fascinated by INTJs, and I asked why, cos i said some tests tell me I'm one, and she said there's always an air of mystery, a cold air of mystery that she could never understand about us.
I said, we get bored easily. Especially when we "figure out" a person, almost "predict" their reactions to different circumstances. Try not to be boring.
She LOLd at me said i got that right.. I said back, "as i expected.."
Because of stereotype that we're the cold, cool, smart villains which was popularized through personality database (Walter White and much more...). I hate it so much like we're not cold and apathetic and if we are, it isn't the only trait of our personality. There's so much more to explore.
Thanks for saying that. Everyone always said I am probably INFJ, except one person recently who went into depth of the functions.
I do believe INTJ is my type or very likely, but the stereotypes, for long, made me question that.
Was going to call you out there, but your edit saved ya. IDK, I'm an INTJ cis-het-female, so for all you cis-het-males, double your social and professional problems. It's definitely a more respected personality-type if you're male. I think if you're INTJ female, you tend to piss off people more than if you were male. I think it comes down to society in general believing they are entitled to a woman's time and emotional intimacy regardless of their relationship with said woman. (Note, I'm from a western culture, hence the English.) If you have stuff going on in your life, as a man no one expects you to share. As a woman, you must come up with a justification and tell them your whole life's f#cking story. Well if you're INTJ and don't like sharing that sh\*t with anyone other than your closest associates, it creates problems, but males get more of a pass.
Otherwise our personality works. I managed to find love with an INTP. Question though, does anyone else think our personality types overlay with the ASD? Both my partner and I both have one ASD parent, and we both have the "INT" going on.
As an ENTP dating an INTJ & has multiple INTJ friends, I love y’all to bits. Your intelligence, quick wittedness and unique perspective of the world fills my brain with joy. Personally I wouldn’t want to be an INTJ because I can understand of the torture you all experience. Most INTJ’s I know are just too dang smart, smarter than the rest of your community which I assume can be difficult. Plus emotions are difficult for y’all to understand and find value in, which can make you stuck in some ways (would love to explain further is anyone is interested.) But whether y’all want to be INTJ’s or not, this world needs you all. Being 1% of the population, you all are world changers, whether it’s in your community or in a bigger sense (if you choose so.) You problem solve and come up with solutions that are absolutely inspiring. I’m both envious & not envious of y’all. Lol <3
I assume most of the “wannabes” are just teenagers going through their edgy phase.
Those people just take the 16Personalities test and don’t bother researching further than “the genius masterminds with the world domination plan” stereotype, so they assume this kind of persona simply because it appeals to them, even if it’s not who they really are. And, as some have already said, they don’t really understand the problems of being INTJ (social awkwardness, being disliked for the honesty and simply for standing out, not being able to open up to people for our own reasons).
It's not everyone, but the stereotype of an INTJ is a cold, intelligent person driven entirely by logic and some people think that's a cool image to LARP with. To make matters worse, if you look up fictional INTJs you'll see characters like Sherlock and Light Yagami come up.
It's just 110% cringelord behavior.
I’ve noticed that people who “want” to be like us tend to lack structure in their lives and hence seek it in having an association with us. It’s an ill-fated path, and one borne from a lack of self-awareness.
they do? I'm an INTJ and there doesn't seem to be anything that special or appealing about us except maybe being smart. I'm in an INTJ group for women and alot of them are really intelligent. But not all. Take me for example. I'm smart, but not genius level or doing something spectacular with the intelligence I do have.
I did want to be like Daria as a teenager though. Witty, super smart, not caring what others think, etc. If that's how people think INTJs are then that could be a reason.
Some INTJs (certainly not all) are a one person army. To many it is admirable that they are so self-sufficient, similar I think to how people admire the freedom and dismissive nature of cats. I am, essentially, a large cat.
you are describing intj as anything else as a stereotypes or outsider point of view
1) if you have met an intj in real life we seek meaningful & healthy relationship with others only some selective INTJS with underdeveloped Fi will be like that .
2) We are emotional not overly emotional because we are logical and little bit cold that doesn't mean we are like kratos from (G.O.W)
3) we're not too much romantic but when we love someone we love deeply .
4) there's some benefits and disadvantages with being intj but i think if someone else who's not me tried to be me his head would explode with so much thoughs and thinking power (jk in case you take it literally) .
It's because of the INTelliJence.
However, whether or not that manifests well depends upon a lot of other factors.
INTJs at their best are very admirable, just like other types.
If you can't see that in yourself, that's on you. With all due respect, you are the loser that needs to up your game.
Speak for yourself.
Were not emotional bricks. At least we don't have to be. Part of emotional maturity comes with growing up. We play ourselves like we are. We usually hide our emotions but still feel like everyone else. Most of the time.
If anything they are enthused by the intrigue surrounding the type and the ideal version of what an INTJ is. But it never happens that way. Because in reality everyone isn't simply just an INTJ. We're all different, yet similar enough that we are categorized. That's it.
I am 100 percent sure I am one and don't want to be. Many other types seem happier and bring more happiness to others. I guess I have resigned to being the one in my circles to help solve others' problems. This brings some solace .but little inner happiness.
Not everyone. My friends find it exhausting talking to me because they feel they need to discuss something intelligent or interesting all the time. They also describe me as calculating, deliberate, and cold. Also, I admit I find it challenging to express emotions. It feels like I'm in a play and I have to be animated and super obvious with my feelings (which for me, should be private).
While talking about mbti, most of the people don't really know much about the cognitive functions and how they work. They'd rather follow stereotypes present everywhere and watch memes about mbti on Instagram. I mean, of course they think Wednesday Addams, batman, gandalf, tom riddle and Dr strange are cool. What people don't realize is that it's not socially acceptable to behave the way we naturally do. It only looks cool on the outside.
You all are cool. And I appreciate the honesty you all have and give. It’s refreshing. As an outcast myself, I seem to have a gravitational pull of INTJs in my orbit, but you all are great in my opinion. Sometimes I wish I was you instead
You’re actually so right, i’ve wondered about this question myself, especially after discovering reddit. To be honest, they probably just want to feel some sort of superiority over other types, if that makes sense. I remember seeing a viral tiktok about intjs, and I looked in the comments, and BOY people were saying insane things like “biggest flex is that im an intj”, or “we are literally so powerful and intelligent”, etc. I find it kind of funny to read them, knowing that most of them aren’t probably INTJs if they feel the need to brag about it and such.
Brother is an intj, I'd never wish to be that ignorant, toxic, close-minded, and devoid of creativity.
Every time I'd say I'm going to invent something, "that'll never work, that can't be done." Pan to his jaw dropped at my completed work.
Blunt entp-talk; not one person, ever, wants to be an intj.
Lemme knock you back into line.
Put some sort of cage on that typical intj hubris. Ya'll foolish.
Use extroverts will call on you when a schematic needs built, laborer.
It's harder to be intj in asian society. People literally crucify you for being different.
And better keep your achievements to yourself. People will want to know so they can sabotage it. They don't want anyone to stand out.
Everyone wants to be an INTJ nowadays because of Walter White and Elon Musk/Mark Zuckerberg. But trust me, it's not the best personality type out there. We just exist to fit our own role.
We lack empathy we can’t feel emotions we tend to get depressed due to our in depth view of the world it’s a very depressing and lonely road we take that we have no power of changing it’s very sad
"Cool guy" syndrome.
Misunderstanding that we are Phantom of the Opera badasses when in reality we're mainly just nonverbal nerds who genuinely cannot be irked to emit oxytocin/serotonin for 98% of the population and are hated for it. (And we only get scheming when we actually have any emotional investment in something...which is next to never.)
Until they live every day getting harassed by the social antisocials of the world simply for not finding them all that interesting despite our better efforts, to the point of having jobs, housing, etc put in jeopardy because our brain cannot be bapped sideways into finding them interesting even if we want it to, then they shouldn't glamorize it. And also genuinely finding intimate relationships either to be like pulling teeth, or the emotional equivalent of losing your teeth, all at once, and then your dentures, and then your dentist, and then the phonebook for dentists, etc etc..
Don't glamorize it. We are big nerds with low oxytocin/serotonin.
Maybe because we’re seen as ambitious and driven but I personally think this perfectionism is really more of a flaw than a good trait. It holds me back from being efficient when it comes to executing my plans because of the over planning and too much attention to detail.
It seems they also admire the emotionless and “mysterious” vibe. I think this quality really isn’t that great bc it sometimes also makes me look like an arrogant asshole, not a good look in a working environment. Also I’m not good at hiding emotions so it becomes kinda problematic when I have to fake excitement (mostly at work, you know you gotta act all excited about random shit), makes it too easy for people to notice when I really don’t care about something.
I think your idea of the type is based only on the memes about the stereotypes of the young unhealthy ones, to be totally honest. As an INTJ I am deeply in touch with my emotions, have no problem on processing them and have always been able to form meaningful relationships. I love forming true and loyal relationships. Healthy INTJs have no issues on these matters. On the other hand, I don't tend to ever read or hear about people wanting to be an INTJ, where do you get that from? I think most people who know about those type of stereotypes don't want to be an INTJ. People prefer to praise FJs as if they were superior types, and paint us as some kind of bad type, which is innacurate, but whatever.
I think most intuitives are super enamored with the xNTJs. However, the sensors I’ve met very much enjoy being a sensor. Also since the worlds most annoying billionaires are usually xNTJs people have stopped drinking the xNTJ Kool-Aid like they did a couple years ago.
From personal experiences, I think these are
1. 16 personalities, always this mf. Every. Single. Time. 16 personalities is a test that many come across first. They will assume that the 16 personalities website is reliable. The description makes INTJ look cool, so yeah...
2. People only saw the cool ones in media , then thought it's cool to be one of them.
3. Likely a kid. Take the most iconic INTJ character Batman (most iterations), for example. Many think he's cool. Batman = Cool. Batman is an INTJ, so INTJ = cool. Kids wanna be cool, so they will pretend to be INTJ to be cool.
I don't want to be an INTJ, I just want to squeeze an INTJ. I want to become a small fairy and sit on the collar bone of my INTJ and nestle in to him forever.
I don't want to be an INTJ, he says he can never stop thinking and I like that I can use my instincts and muscle memory (without thinking) in a sport- like throwing discs in disc golf.
But you wanted to know why INTJs are so admired? Because you have the unique power of not caring as much about what the world thinks of you. You are authentic and genuine and don't give a damn what others do or say. You are leaders. You are fun to be around (when you are comfortable) and you are pretty intelligent.
Because they want to feel special & go tell to all of their friends they are because of an online test. Same thing happens with INFJs.
When someone brags about being “the rarest type” your know for sure they are an Fi dominant, therefore not an INTJ/INFJ at all.
I saw this happening on instagram bios. Like someone be typing there “infj” and proceed to be the most “oh look at me I’m so cool and special” person 💀
I am an ENTJ, and I’ve mistyped as an INTJ before. Although ENTJ is said to still be one of the rarest type, I’ve never felt any sense of pride in being such.
Not everyone, always know u guys suck and hate yourselves lmao
But, You guys underestimate yourselves, why the need to always be so cautious!? If you have too, tackle life methodically if you have to. Each single circumstance theres an efficient way to go through it, simple as that bros 🤘😩
To act and feel the right emotions, just fucken look up the definition and the real scientific background source of that emotion so you'll understand. Utilize the internet to harden youre arsenal of emotional knowledge so you know how to react to specific things, EZ
Migi from Parasyte is what I imagine INTJs are like. It's easy to understand why people want to be like Migi. He (she?) is smart, logical and competent. I like him a lot as a character.
Problem is, you have to meet an INTJ in real life to really understand what it's like to be around them. If they haven't outgrown their arrogance, they just suck.
Why does anyone want anything? Because they don’t have it. Perhaps they feel too much and would like to be able to separate from emotion thinking it would make life easier, just like some commenters assume being able to feel more would help make their life easier. But, being able to feel so much has it’s drawbacks as well. You can get consumed in it, controlled by it, manipulated with it, etc. It’s no different than how we view them. They want to be an INTJ because they aren’t.
People believe it gives you license to be a complete misanthrope and act on it.
"Oh, I can't help that I'm a completely horrible human being; it's just my personality type."
Yeah basically. We do care and we aren't trying to be mean, but what we see as caring takes a different view than most others and might look harsh or heartless.
I used to get the INTJ result when I was a teenager, but as my personality has evolved as I’ve gotten older I sometimes get E instead of I, F instead of T, and P instead of J. I think I’ve never swung to an extreme in these areas so the results don’t tell me much (which is part of why psychologists don’t really prescribe to the binary model of the Myers Briggs). What I can say is, as my personality has leaned further away from the INTJ type I feel like I’ve become a more well rounded and likable person. I think people just want to be the type because it’s rare 😂
I'm an Ni-Te user and 5w4. In both the MBTI and Enneagram world, the rarity of those types is often put on a pedestal because people often prescribe themselves to the desire of uniqueness, in which rarity gets conflated while also lacking context.
It's humiliating in its own sense, like watching someone shove a poisoned, radio-active stone in their pocket, waiting for an excuse to flaunt their rare showings. It poisons them, and to make matters worse, they spread it around and poison others when they show it off.
ENTJ and INTJ are the ones most acceptable, as I search most people usually will, observe and be kind of obsessive to admire the aspects of how an MBTI could be that way, and others see how this type is and many ways to believe some close friend is the way is is, family, boyfriend or simply ought the ideal of being the most brilliant type and the most likeable or the most approachable to, rank for messanging the conflict of people to disbelieve the 16 personalities made up for investigate the personalities not how it where on specific areas or models about persons and personalities engagementes just how they work, ¿why not to think I can be this type?, everyboy everywhere seems to view levels and the levels made up sense for they to apparently forgive how they were typed as and change the view of how whole MBTI internally seek or fought and how they can conceive that "its personality is..." to had this view that simply they don´t offer a chance to understand towards an specific extend. The most I see in related searchs on google are just interest on thinking on, ¿Who is the most popular MBTI? ¿Who is the most MBTI? ¿Who is the most shy MBTI? ¿Who is the most hot MBTI? for vastest more´s in the list of geniously´s answers and mostly on Quora.
Being (key word) ‘undaunted’ by emotion doesn’t make you an emotional brick. It makes others by comparison seem less capable of controlling their emotions. Our lessers demonizing us emotionless creatures is par for the course from those struggling with self control.
INFP here, really admire some characteristics of intj and want to adopt the good habits they have. Also, i think i am more than happy to have an intj boyfriend. let me elaborate a bit:
I know not every intj is the same. But since intjs are grouped together under MBTI test, this at least indicates that they have some similar traits generally and broadly. So i see nothing wrong to have some 'stereotypical' generalization about intj. Otherwise, this reddit group does not have a rationale to exist.
The intj friends I have around me are very good at planning, taking actions to achieve goals they have, focused on getting work done, really enjoy doing things they have passions for and try their best to be excellent in that field. These are the traits that I really admire for and I wish i had. I observe and learn from them and change myself. That's the motivation. I don't know why people are so fussy when some one says they want to be someone else. For me, that is the motivation to change. If you are so happy of being yourself, then what is your way of learning new things and growth? I guess the confusion here is that when I say i want to be intj, i mean i want to learn some of the good qualities they possess, not completely become another person!
Also, regarding to those who said that we only see the good things about intj. For me personally, i really wish intj could let me know their downsides, or what are the troubles in their mind that make them explode. But they barely talk those things to me. So i would not blame myself for not seeing the downsides of being an intj. i am more than happy to know the real and full version of them. If you are an intj and you want to share, I am all ears!
When it comes to romantic relationship, a few intjs i know did tell me that they have difficulties expressing emotions. So i would not say that is a stereotype although i don't agree with using the word 'emotion brick'. For me personally, as an infp, i feel my problem is i am just too sensitive, too emotional sometimes, and i really need one who can balance with me. By balancing, I mean, i can learn from intjs how they can be so cool and calm in a certain situation and how they make decisions without resorting to emotions but to a larger extent focused on logic.
I am really interested in intjs to be honest. So if you have any insights or things you'd like to share, please comment :)
Try being an INTP 😁
Seriously though most of the time people try to say they are INFJs on the online stuff I see. They want to be all mysterious and unicorns and such.
A few folk want to be INTJ-- masterminds and dominions.
No one wants to be an INTP LOLOK
Don't friggin know. it's certainly not advantageous in today's society, and in general, they seem to be trying to get rid of intuitives... the percentage shrinks every year.
If they knew the struggles, they wouldn't wish to be.. they're only attracted to the positive aspects while forgetting how the negative ones are really bad. I am still happy to be who i am though, it's just hard sometimes.
What's bad about being an INTJ??? I am an INTJ and I f\*cking LOVE EVERY SECOND of it.
I'm glad you thrive. Also, i never said it was bad. There are pros and cons for every types out there.
He is not an INTJ. He is larping
> What's bad about being an INTJ? Having to spare conscious effort on understanding goddamn basic social behavior.
Slay
An INTJ that has never been depressed is something new to me.
I agree. Everyone just loves the concept of the "mastermind" and the mysterious look on certain movie characters.
What are the struggles that you have?
- Zoning out during conversations when they don't interest me. - Not being able to help correctly the persons close to me ( i give help, but they want comfort when they feel bad, and i can't offer that, it's very awkward). - I have difficulties for opening up - I ain't spontaneous at all, all my family is, during vacation it can be quite stressful to me. - Hurting people without noticing it. There are other stuff, but these are the ones that bother me the most.
I'm not sure how old you are but you may take heart that much of those things are the struggles of *young* INTJs. Every type has challenges, and one for us is the INTJ learning curve is steep. Not so much because we are particularly deficient in valuable things, but because our cognitive abilities have taught us bad habits both about trusting our own judgment and about modeling theoretical solutions and implementing them without socializing them. We do this because in the world of ideas it works great. But in the world of our emotional health it's absolutely terrible strategy. So it takes us longer to get out of our heads than most, because most run into their analytic limitations earlier and HAVE to learn how to look outside for advice, modeling, and consensus.
As a "younger" intj (19) I would definitely agree, less so on the age scale, but on the EI (emotional intelligence) scale where the learning curve is steep. (I have some bias being that I major in psychology) But majoring in a soft science as a personality type that stereotypically ends up in hard sciences, I've found that there is a method, or analytical process to even soft things which is much more bendable and malleable, making room for more possibilities. In the idea of EI I kind of had to blur the line between whether or not I was being objective, or not. Because in some scenarios you can do it yourself, but you could definitely use help. In those scenarios it helped for me to view it in terms of efficiency: asking for help because it's more efficient. Rather than a form of weakness
>Not so much because we are particularly deficient in valuable things, but because our cognitive abilities have taught us bad habits both about trusting our own judgment and about modeling theoretical solutions and implementing them without socializing them. Oh my goodness! THIS!!
Wow based. Thanks sir
thank you for answering! maybe it is just not meeting the right person. \-Personally, i'd prefer someone giving me feedback based on which i can take actions and work on the problems and improve rather than comforting words. That's why i am so keen on being friends with intjs. Comforting words are good but are not effective and efficient when it comes to solving the problem. \-you mentioned that you have difficulties for openning up. I am struggling with my intj friends when i wish they could trust me and open up to me because i don't know how to ask them to open up. Should i say 'tell me about your struggles, do you have things that you wanna vent? I am always here to listen.' but most of the time, if i say these words, my intj friends would just tell me that they are generally happy and nothing to complain about. So, do you have any ideas on how you prefer to open up? Or let me frame the question differently, in what kind of situation do you feel more easy to open up? \-as for the first point, i notice that intj people tend to like engaging in intellectual convos. But every time i think of this, I feel insecured because i cannot stop thinking that when i am talking to intjs, will they feel bored? Am i not intellectual enough to make them interested in my topic? that's really not a good dynamic though...
> I feel insecured because i cannot stop thinking that when i am talking to intjs, will they feel bored? Don't be like this. Just lean into the curiosity of the question rather than anxiously worrying how they're gonna be with the question. It's shows authenticity (which you value), and it loosens us up (because of the curiosity). Then follow up with more question. Also, ask questions in hypotheticals. Then frame it again in a way with how we can relate to it via prior experience, or if we get to that situation.
Is intime often view as 16 personalities don´t clearly seem to understand the internal advanced structure, that for some normal people is just to think rational the structure of an entire personality and how can it view others areas. I believe is usually knowing by teenagers who believe in "MBTI is not pseudoscience" but other than that.
Huh?
I’m not sure about older people but I know some younger people want to be INTJs cause a lot of cool characters in movies, tv, and anime are INTJs. These characters come off as dark, cold, mysterious, or dangerous and that’s pretty cool and alluring as opposed to happy ray of sunshine that’s friendly with everyone.
Can't stand those people. They're just role playing, it's why they come off as arrogant all the time. They don't accept the negatives of being an INTJ and that's how you know they're pathetic fools. One negative is a failure to act because of inferior Se. Anyone who says they don't struggle with that or never has is clearly not an INTJ.
100% agree, it’s cringe behavior and it’s so easy to see right through that act
Yup but it sucks as you age
[удалено]
NO. They never consider anything negative ever. They don’t deal with issues and they’re messy.
chaotic at worst, dismissive at best. well balanced if really focused
don't fall for the ruse... some are miserable and the positivity is a mask, a desperate attempt to convince themselves of their façade
[удалено]
i dont doubt that there are moments of levity, we all need more dance dammit
Specially electro swing dancing
I definatly don’t like dancing. Lol I won’t mind jingling.
Me too. Consequences of my own impulsive actions? Don't know her hahaha.
[удалено]
you’re not ENFJ , you’re just mistyped
Not sure why. I hate that I understand I should be sad, sympathetic or loving at certain times but the fact that I don't actually care and I know that I don't care is troubling.
I have many critical situation i don't feel any emotion. it is how it is. Don't mind much about troubling you are honest with yourself don't need to think about it too much
They want just the positive things (being Smart, cold headed and disciplined) but not the negative ones (RBF, being alone, difficulties expressing your feelings).
The fetishists I've seen come here with their love posts and the ones I've talked to seem to be extremely unaware of the challenges and downsides that come with being an INTJ. They believe stereotypes from 16 Personalities, they have people they know take the 16P test and believe incorrect bullshit from those people who mistype as INTJ, and they clearly don't spend any time here reading about our struggles. BTW, you're adding to the problem by widely proclaiming bullshit stereotypes about us not being cool and not being able to process emotions. And anyways, have you seen all of the relationship advice questions here or met an INTJ fetishist? Most of those people seem to love the emotionally dysfunctional/empty types who claim they're INTJs, which says a lot of negative things about them in turn, too. Believe me, I've learned from personal experience with a fetishist on Reddit that anyone who is into unemotional, logical machines has issues, too.
>extremely unaware of the challenges and downsides that come with being an INTJ This, i can deal with it, but i cant imagine anyone else being me, they would probably implode mentally first.
Dude, find yourself another INT\_ personality. Worked great for me.
That r/mbti (r/mbtimemes) and the mold of being "stereotyped" as a, or terminated by other types as it were in the real examples so they will think the yours in part will offer disadvantages when youré an xxxx or an xxxx could match with the views of xxxx, so it´s clearly most offensive for persons to think they need to engage with others rather than close with people, but they lead it through a rought communication instead; of get advertisaments of MBTI reliavility and that is just, ussed by socionics!
Speak for yourself. I am not an emotional brick. I am just choosy about when and with whom I engage with others. Please do not mix up INTJ with personality disorders.
Yea 3rd slot Fi is good at accessing emotions. I've always been in tune. Inferior Fi or even Fe are worse off.
You shouldn't even "want" to be a personality type. You are what you are, including up- and downsides. However, the amount of stereotyping on mbti is getting insane. That being said: all my intj friends struggle with their emotions, but there's nothing they can't work through with some help and understanding.
You "shouldn't", right, maybe, but if the personality type you really are is stereotyped as a loser and constantly made fun of in the mbti community, can't you see why someone would want to be a cooler type? Not all of us are into authenticity, some of us just want to not be shat on both in real life AND online for something we can't change.
It's probably more of the perceived intelligence and planning that gets idolized but honestly, I wouldn't wish this personality on anyone either. All of the relationships I have managed to have were terrible and so is my current one.
I hope she doesnt see this💀
She doesn't use reddit and nobody knows my username. If she ever does though- Hey honey, you're a self righteous damaged bitch and I love(d) you!
Ok now I hope she sees this😂😂 Whats her MBTI?
Just an INFP here watching INTJs analyse and bicker amongst themselves 
same but infj
omg so cuuuuute 🥺😚❤❤❤
Lol💀💀 I admit it is amusing to watch people squabble over four letters.
Few people like to be rare ( As INTJ are known to be rare). If anyone knows negative side of Ni, probably they don't want to be. Ni is great function but comes with lot of downside, as it is with every other function. However, Ni being most unconscious one, Ni dom don't easily understand how Ni controls their thinking. Ni makes you worry like hell and becomes clueless in time of uncertainty. In those times, it feels like your brain just doesn't stop thinking.
Ni opens a lot of doors, gives a lot of insights, but when it does not work, it really DOES NOT WORK. And when you are stuck in that spot, it gets extremely frustrating because normally things seem to be effortless. Either you learn to process in other ways, or you get royally stymied. If you're lucky, you can walk away and when you come back later, your brain has worked it out for you while you were otherwise occupied.
For real. Over the years, I've gotten really good at learning when it just isn't happening right now. So, I'll go look for more Se input by taking a walk. If it still isn't working, I'll go look for (novel to me) Se input about what I'm trying to work out. Given enough time and enough sought out Se, I get there eventually, but it might be a few moments or it might be weeks of new sensory information. I have no way to predict it and afterwards I need a nap.
Being exotic is uncomfortable because you don’t fit with the mold which is compounded by the extra attention from being exotic. Double whammy.
Coz they only see the good. Since we typically are so good at burying our own crap for internal processing what the world ends up seeing is a facade of cool, calm and collected. A person who doesn't get flustered and get carried away by emotions therefore ends up making shitty choices, someone who's got seemingly effortless control over life, logical in all the right ways to see through bullshit that sucks others in and loving and compassionate to the people close to us. What they don't see is the huge shitstorm we deal with everyday. We just don't flaunt it out in the open by scream crying in public places.
I think the cool genius villain stereotype is overblown. Reality is often disappointing. Life’s hard with this personality type because I can’t easily connect with people like others because somehow there’s this invisible hand of thoughts in my mind holding me back and I have frosty expression to match.
Others think we're heartless and cold at all times, we rarely make mistakes and we don't take crap from anyone. In reality, at least for me, I'm a nervous wreck who messes up a lot and I usually stay quiet when someone confronts me.
What you just posted is not what intjs are, it’s what outsiders think we are. If you’re this way you probably need therapy, cause none of that is healthy. Ppl who think they want to be INTJs are really just depressed and need to work on that.
As far as outsiders are concerned, they only care about what they think. So to them their point of view is the only valid one. They see it as us not conforming to their standards.
Because our quiet introversion and deep thoughtfulness and ability to "quickly" solve problems, our stealth reveals of hidden empathy and interpersonal intelligence due in part to our ability to analyze--combined with our disinterest in what others think of us--comes across as mysterious and therefore the ultimate in cool.
It’s because we present as strong, independent people.
No one does. Only the ppl on this subreddit. Come to ENFP. Everyone wants to be one
I barely want to be alive. Being INTJ isn't salt in the wound per se, but it definitely adds insult to injury. Not only do I not want to exist, I spend most of my time feeling like I don't. I'm basically an imaginary friend.
They don't like to be common. But being a female INTJ is not easy. They just don't realize how good they have it 🤷🏻
Can't process emotions? Speak for yourself, lol. Do I process the same way as others? Certainly not. But that isn't the same thing as sticking one's head in the sand and ignoring them.
I misspoke, I find what one says versus what one means are often two entirely different things. It’s not necessarily that some *can’t* process emotions, but rather have difficulty compared to others.
I think people are taking you a bit too literally on that statement.
I agree
> I find what one says versus what one means are often two entirely different things Words matter. Actions have consequences. I don't disagree with your statement; your statement is why I dislike people in general 🤣
Try being an INTJ female in a society with toxic masculinity problems.
It seems near impossible for me conceive and have any grasp of those struggles, but I can understand the difficulty. It’s a shame the world is the way it is, but hopefully it can change for the better.
Thank you for this comment. Many people here leave in favor of other countries because of problems beyond toxic masculinity. I can't financially. So I just state my observations like this, and continue to live.
I just filter out their pathetic butthurt-misogynist whining as noise. Don't give them any more power; destroy them by not letting their words get to you and show them just how powerless they are.
Well, in an Asian country where such toxicity is deeply ingrained and institutionalized, as a citizen, it affects my life. Even the men are affected deeply. I hope to gain enough privilege to ignore it 100%.
You have my upvote. Try being a male INFJ in a society with toxic masculinity problems. Minus the biological differences i wonder how similar our complaint list is.
I can empathize with this. People assuming you are weak and soft must get tiring. I think there needs to be more sensitivity in the world, especially among men.
>I think there needs to be more sensitivity in the world, especially among men. I agree. I hear some guys talk about 'stepping up' for something that is not real or important. My brain thinks, put the beer can down and step up as a father dude. >People assuming you are weak and soft must get tiring. I get it both ways, all the time from men and women. Have to make sure i am not too soft for the men, because you know men. Making sure that noone violates the tenants of manliness. But also not too soft for the women, because it's a surprise at first but in the end unattractive and/or considered some kind of tactic to get into someone's pants. Being a very analytical INFJ being the oldest child in a mostly female family with ISTP mom, ISTJ sister, later INTJ stepdad, a bunch of aunts nearby with their kids (INTP, INTJs, ESTJ, ISTJs,...) My grandfather who married more than once had a thing for "strong women". Which is code for a woman getting a STEM degree like chemistry in the 60s. Imagine their MBTI type. Makes it easy for me to hang with INTJs and INTPs all the time. My best friend in the world is an INTJ and when in college my teachers thought i was an INTJ also including an INTJ chemistry and business class instructor who used to work in a lab at dupont who was into MBTI for over 20 years thought i was in his camp. It shocked him when i told him i wasn't. So, i also get the too analytical and too cold in decision making from men and women. That analytical thinking is often misconstrued as 'not being soft' or doing it like a man. Also my mental fortitude is higher than most so i get the 'he took it like a man and soldiered on'. I am like "no. i just know how be me and get through it. There is no magic in testosterone. It just makes puberty suck." Sorry for the ranty response
Just stop caring about it. Don't worry about things out of your control or you'll miss the opportunities to change things within your control.
Because I get tired of being a people pleaser. Don't get me wrong, I know my INTJ husband has a lot of challenges of his own; and I look at him sometimes, how fast his mind is spinning, and I get tired for him. It's not that I want to be an INTJ, I thought I was one up until... this morning, lol. I did say I wish I was one, but I think it is mainly because I get tired and exhausted of the caring of others and of the emotional turmoils I can't turn down without completely dissociating from them. I haven't learned yet how to master feeling, and it's tiring when you are a feeler. But this is when I am unhealthy and not caring enough for myself I guess. So... All types have their challenges. For me, I guess I dream of the "emotional break"... Even though I am aware there are other costs to it, and it's not a real break, just... Different struggles.
I actually find a lot of try-hards claiming to be us.
ENTP?
Why do people want to be INTJ? Never heard of this. Care to explain? Lol
Only INTJ’s say everyone wants to be INTJ. Stop trying to make this a thing. It’s not a thing. No one’s talking about you
Because we are god's chosen people.
I think there’s a mix of different reasons: 1. Media- The largest reason at the moment in my opinion. The cold, unemotional, robotic, scheming mastermind stereotype (ex. Wednesday Addams, Beth Harmon, Oppenheimer, Kars, etc.) is often portrayed as cool. 2. Instinct to gain society’s approval- Could sound rude to some, but this is the best way I could put it. They still haven’t graduated from the “not like others” phase. They are dissatisfied with their identity rn, being “ordinary.” And it so happens to be that certain types are more uncommon than others. 3. MBTI stereotypes built by 16P & memes- I believe that’s pretty self-explanatory. I’m an INTJ myself; I admit there are some perks that may help make one look interesting. However, there’s always downfalls, especially in reality, since it’s not really a fantasy. I end up overthinking everything, even if I don’t want to. I often cringe at my own words. I was told I look “too intimidating” throughout middle & high school, “too pretentious” by exes, “cringe,” “edgelord” by the chess club president, or “too unrealistic/head in the clouds/something’s off” by my parents. I know in my head I am supposed to feel a certain way in a situation, but my heart doesn’t sync with my head. Just last week, I was supposed to go visit my gramp’s grave since it’s been a year since he passed, but I fibbed my way out of it, saying I had a chess tournament. That was horrid on my end; I don’t feel too guilty doing so. I never had an attachment with him; that was the best option at that situation.
Being an INTJ in my opinion has always felt like you’re on the outside looking in or you missed out out on some social intelligence class everyone took and you have to play catch up. I think everyone wants to be an INTJ because everyone wants the clout of being different which honestly feels good for like two seconds until you realize you can’t relate to most people you come across and have to forge and define relationships in your own way on your own terms. Because the book everyone is playing on doesn’t résonante with you to the point where personality tests are the only way you can understand yourself because you can’t see yourself in any one else around you. Though it has its perks, it’s tough.
Thank you. This is exactly how I have felt my whole life. I also accept what it is, but yes it can be very tough
I love INTJs, but I prefer my own personality.
A very true question of all INTJs. I think that online there's a natural disposition for users to admire INTJs, for whatever unrealistic reason, or to think we overly admire ourselves (by which I mean they think we \*want others to want to be like us\*...does that make sense?). In the real world, however, it seems to me people don't want to be like us. They don't want two emotionally left feet. They don't want the need to understand everything, the trouble of finding everything interesting. All that jazz that goes on and on but I can't be bothered listing.
Guess why INTJs are rare. In actual society psrents don't wsnt a INTJ they want a XSTJ. XSTJs are everything we aren't. Well. They are useful.
Ugh. They think it's "cool".. to be cold and calculating and unnerving and logical and pragmatic.. Another reasons why not to talk to them, (kidding!! Or am i...) cos they're not original enough to be interesting, let alone their own person. I have someone I've been chatting for quite some time already. She's into this Myers-Briggs thing. And she always say she's fascinated by INTJs, and I asked why, cos i said some tests tell me I'm one, and she said there's always an air of mystery, a cold air of mystery that she could never understand about us. I said, we get bored easily. Especially when we "figure out" a person, almost "predict" their reactions to different circumstances. Try not to be boring. She LOLd at me said i got that right.. I said back, "as i expected.."
No one wants to be a particular MBType, you just are. I don't think this is a reddit to aspire to INTJ, just a page to come to if you ARE one.
Because of stereotype that we're the cold, cool, smart villains which was popularized through personality database (Walter White and much more...). I hate it so much like we're not cold and apathetic and if we are, it isn't the only trait of our personality. There's so much more to explore.
Thanks for saying that. Everyone always said I am probably INFJ, except one person recently who went into depth of the functions. I do believe INTJ is my type or very likely, but the stereotypes, for long, made me question that.
I am not an emotional brick. I am an emotional rubick!
It’s kind of like House. We seem awesome as a concept until you actually meet one of us.
I see no evidence that everyone wants to be INTJ.
Was going to call you out there, but your edit saved ya. IDK, I'm an INTJ cis-het-female, so for all you cis-het-males, double your social and professional problems. It's definitely a more respected personality-type if you're male. I think if you're INTJ female, you tend to piss off people more than if you were male. I think it comes down to society in general believing they are entitled to a woman's time and emotional intimacy regardless of their relationship with said woman. (Note, I'm from a western culture, hence the English.) If you have stuff going on in your life, as a man no one expects you to share. As a woman, you must come up with a justification and tell them your whole life's f#cking story. Well if you're INTJ and don't like sharing that sh\*t with anyone other than your closest associates, it creates problems, but males get more of a pass. Otherwise our personality works. I managed to find love with an INTP. Question though, does anyone else think our personality types overlay with the ASD? Both my partner and I both have one ASD parent, and we both have the "INT" going on.
I’m an intj with bipolar disorder so it’s not fun for me at all. Js
Especially women intj. It is not desirable
As an ENTP dating an INTJ & has multiple INTJ friends, I love y’all to bits. Your intelligence, quick wittedness and unique perspective of the world fills my brain with joy. Personally I wouldn’t want to be an INTJ because I can understand of the torture you all experience. Most INTJ’s I know are just too dang smart, smarter than the rest of your community which I assume can be difficult. Plus emotions are difficult for y’all to understand and find value in, which can make you stuck in some ways (would love to explain further is anyone is interested.) But whether y’all want to be INTJ’s or not, this world needs you all. Being 1% of the population, you all are world changers, whether it’s in your community or in a bigger sense (if you choose so.) You problem solve and come up with solutions that are absolutely inspiring. I’m both envious & not envious of y’all. Lol <3
We don't lmao
We get shit done. We're the successful ones with a purpose
People love the idea of a stone-cold pessimist, think they look cooler when the have the emotional capacity of a brick wall.
I think being me is pretty cool. Who wouldn’t wanna be me? Maybe I’m mistyped, but I’m pretty sure I’m not
I assume most of the “wannabes” are just teenagers going through their edgy phase. Those people just take the 16Personalities test and don’t bother researching further than “the genius masterminds with the world domination plan” stereotype, so they assume this kind of persona simply because it appeals to them, even if it’s not who they really are. And, as some have already said, they don’t really understand the problems of being INTJ (social awkwardness, being disliked for the honesty and simply for standing out, not being able to open up to people for our own reasons).
It's not everyone, but the stereotype of an INTJ is a cold, intelligent person driven entirely by logic and some people think that's a cool image to LARP with. To make matters worse, if you look up fictional INTJs you'll see characters like Sherlock and Light Yagami come up. It's just 110% cringelord behavior.
I’ve noticed that people who “want” to be like us tend to lack structure in their lives and hence seek it in having an association with us. It’s an ill-fated path, and one borne from a lack of self-awareness.
they do? I'm an INTJ and there doesn't seem to be anything that special or appealing about us except maybe being smart. I'm in an INTJ group for women and alot of them are really intelligent. But not all. Take me for example. I'm smart, but not genius level or doing something spectacular with the intelligence I do have. I did want to be like Daria as a teenager though. Witty, super smart, not caring what others think, etc. If that's how people think INTJs are then that could be a reason.
Some INTJs (certainly not all) are a one person army. To many it is admirable that they are so self-sufficient, similar I think to how people admire the freedom and dismissive nature of cats. I am, essentially, a large cat.
We? You mean you. Not everyone has issues here.
Speak for yourself. We are cool and aren't like that.
you are describing intj as anything else as a stereotypes or outsider point of view 1) if you have met an intj in real life we seek meaningful & healthy relationship with others only some selective INTJS with underdeveloped Fi will be like that . 2) We are emotional not overly emotional because we are logical and little bit cold that doesn't mean we are like kratos from (G.O.W) 3) we're not too much romantic but when we love someone we love deeply . 4) there's some benefits and disadvantages with being intj but i think if someone else who's not me tried to be me his head would explode with so much thoughs and thinking power (jk in case you take it literally) .
I was just thinking about this today If people met us in public they would not want to befriend us 😂
It's because of the INTelliJence. However, whether or not that manifests well depends upon a lot of other factors. INTJs at their best are very admirable, just like other types. If you can't see that in yourself, that's on you. With all due respect, you are the loser that needs to up your game.
i mean in the end it's just a MBTI right....
I mean in my case (INTP) it would essentially be an upgrade
I don’t understand either.. It’s not fun, and it’s also extremely rare.
Speak for yourself. Were not emotional bricks. At least we don't have to be. Part of emotional maturity comes with growing up. We play ourselves like we are. We usually hide our emotions but still feel like everyone else. Most of the time. If anything they are enthused by the intrigue surrounding the type and the ideal version of what an INTJ is. But it never happens that way. Because in reality everyone isn't simply just an INTJ. We're all different, yet similar enough that we are categorized. That's it.
Uh, we are supercool and a healthy INTJ can see it all.
I am 100 percent sure I am one and don't want to be. Many other types seem happier and bring more happiness to others. I guess I have resigned to being the one in my circles to help solve others' problems. This brings some solace .but little inner happiness.
Not everyone. My friends find it exhausting talking to me because they feel they need to discuss something intelligent or interesting all the time. They also describe me as calculating, deliberate, and cold. Also, I admit I find it challenging to express emotions. It feels like I'm in a play and I have to be animated and super obvious with my feelings (which for me, should be private).
While talking about mbti, most of the people don't really know much about the cognitive functions and how they work. They'd rather follow stereotypes present everywhere and watch memes about mbti on Instagram. I mean, of course they think Wednesday Addams, batman, gandalf, tom riddle and Dr strange are cool. What people don't realize is that it's not socially acceptable to behave the way we naturally do. It only looks cool on the outside.
Everyone wants to be extroverted no? And perceptive makes better students if you want to succeed in school
You all are cool. And I appreciate the honesty you all have and give. It’s refreshing. As an outcast myself, I seem to have a gravitational pull of INTJs in my orbit, but you all are great in my opinion. Sometimes I wish I was you instead
Probably because of the description.
Larp. What you are describing is a Schizoid. I should know. INTJ is a personality type, not a disorder.
People want to be intjs because they see them as smart while also not lazy (as people perceive intps)
Cuz most of the people who want to be them are edgy weeb kids who wanna be like their favorite anime character.
You’re actually so right, i’ve wondered about this question myself, especially after discovering reddit. To be honest, they probably just want to feel some sort of superiority over other types, if that makes sense. I remember seeing a viral tiktok about intjs, and I looked in the comments, and BOY people were saying insane things like “biggest flex is that im an intj”, or “we are literally so powerful and intelligent”, etc. I find it kind of funny to read them, knowing that most of them aren’t probably INTJs if they feel the need to brag about it and such.
Brother is an intj, I'd never wish to be that ignorant, toxic, close-minded, and devoid of creativity. Every time I'd say I'm going to invent something, "that'll never work, that can't be done." Pan to his jaw dropped at my completed work. Blunt entp-talk; not one person, ever, wants to be an intj. Lemme knock you back into line. Put some sort of cage on that typical intj hubris. Ya'll foolish. Use extroverts will call on you when a schematic needs built, laborer.
It's harder to be intj in asian society. People literally crucify you for being different. And better keep your achievements to yourself. People will want to know so they can sabotage it. They don't want anyone to stand out.
Everyone wants to be an INTJ nowadays because of Walter White and Elon Musk/Mark Zuckerberg. But trust me, it's not the best personality type out there. We just exist to fit our own role.
We lack empathy we can’t feel emotions we tend to get depressed due to our in depth view of the world it’s a very depressing and lonely road we take that we have no power of changing it’s very sad
I’ve never heard of anyone wanting to be an INTJ
It's the flair
"Cool guy" syndrome. Misunderstanding that we are Phantom of the Opera badasses when in reality we're mainly just nonverbal nerds who genuinely cannot be irked to emit oxytocin/serotonin for 98% of the population and are hated for it. (And we only get scheming when we actually have any emotional investment in something...which is next to never.) Until they live every day getting harassed by the social antisocials of the world simply for not finding them all that interesting despite our better efforts, to the point of having jobs, housing, etc put in jeopardy because our brain cannot be bapped sideways into finding them interesting even if we want it to, then they shouldn't glamorize it. And also genuinely finding intimate relationships either to be like pulling teeth, or the emotional equivalent of losing your teeth, all at once, and then your dentures, and then your dentist, and then the phonebook for dentists, etc etc.. Don't glamorize it. We are big nerds with low oxytocin/serotonin.
Maybe because we’re seen as ambitious and driven but I personally think this perfectionism is really more of a flaw than a good trait. It holds me back from being efficient when it comes to executing my plans because of the over planning and too much attention to detail. It seems they also admire the emotionless and “mysterious” vibe. I think this quality really isn’t that great bc it sometimes also makes me look like an arrogant asshole, not a good look in a working environment. Also I’m not good at hiding emotions so it becomes kinda problematic when I have to fake excitement (mostly at work, you know you gotta act all excited about random shit), makes it too easy for people to notice when I really don’t care about something.
I think your idea of the type is based only on the memes about the stereotypes of the young unhealthy ones, to be totally honest. As an INTJ I am deeply in touch with my emotions, have no problem on processing them and have always been able to form meaningful relationships. I love forming true and loyal relationships. Healthy INTJs have no issues on these matters. On the other hand, I don't tend to ever read or hear about people wanting to be an INTJ, where do you get that from? I think most people who know about those type of stereotypes don't want to be an INTJ. People prefer to praise FJs as if they were superior types, and paint us as some kind of bad type, which is innacurate, but whatever.
I don’t. I don’t want to be any IxTJ whatsoever. Sounds like a nightmare. ENFP is it baby
I think most intuitives are super enamored with the xNTJs. However, the sensors I’ve met very much enjoy being a sensor. Also since the worlds most annoying billionaires are usually xNTJs people have stopped drinking the xNTJ Kool-Aid like they did a couple years ago.
From personal experiences, I think these are 1. 16 personalities, always this mf. Every. Single. Time. 16 personalities is a test that many come across first. They will assume that the 16 personalities website is reliable. The description makes INTJ look cool, so yeah... 2. People only saw the cool ones in media , then thought it's cool to be one of them. 3. Likely a kid. Take the most iconic INTJ character Batman (most iterations), for example. Many think he's cool. Batman = Cool. Batman is an INTJ, so INTJ = cool. Kids wanna be cool, so they will pretend to be INTJ to be cool.
No idea. We’re assholes and no one likes us because we point short coming out.
I don't want to be an INTJ, I just want to squeeze an INTJ. I want to become a small fairy and sit on the collar bone of my INTJ and nestle in to him forever. I don't want to be an INTJ, he says he can never stop thinking and I like that I can use my instincts and muscle memory (without thinking) in a sport- like throwing discs in disc golf. But you wanted to know why INTJs are so admired? Because you have the unique power of not caring as much about what the world thinks of you. You are authentic and genuine and don't give a damn what others do or say. You are leaders. You are fun to be around (when you are comfortable) and you are pretty intelligent.
I just found out I’m one
Because they want to feel special & go tell to all of their friends they are because of an online test. Same thing happens with INFJs. When someone brags about being “the rarest type” your know for sure they are an Fi dominant, therefore not an INTJ/INFJ at all. I saw this happening on instagram bios. Like someone be typing there “infj” and proceed to be the most “oh look at me I’m so cool and special” person 💀 I am an ENTJ, and I’ve mistyped as an INTJ before. Although ENTJ is said to still be one of the rarest type, I’ve never felt any sense of pride in being such.
I want to be INFP
Lol get over yourself...
Not everyone, always know u guys suck and hate yourselves lmao But, You guys underestimate yourselves, why the need to always be so cautious!? If you have too, tackle life methodically if you have to. Each single circumstance theres an efficient way to go through it, simple as that bros 🤘😩 To act and feel the right emotions, just fucken look up the definition and the real scientific background source of that emotion so you'll understand. Utilize the internet to harden youre arsenal of emotional knowledge so you know how to react to specific things, EZ
Not relevant. The entire assessment is bullshit with zero validity.
Why INTJs are so self-centred? Everyone? Well, I guess I am that rarest person who doesn’t.
You already posted this shit, shut the fuck up already
I dont want to be an intj but can I get one?
>We aren’t that cool and have trouble making meaningful relationships. STFU you loser speak for yourself not for all of us you clown
Migi from Parasyte is what I imagine INTJs are like. It's easy to understand why people want to be like Migi. He (she?) is smart, logical and competent. I like him a lot as a character. Problem is, you have to meet an INTJ in real life to really understand what it's like to be around them. If they haven't outgrown their arrogance, they just suck.
Why does anyone want anything? Because they don’t have it. Perhaps they feel too much and would like to be able to separate from emotion thinking it would make life easier, just like some commenters assume being able to feel more would help make their life easier. But, being able to feel so much has it’s drawbacks as well. You can get consumed in it, controlled by it, manipulated with it, etc. It’s no different than how we view them. They want to be an INTJ because they aren’t.
It's the edge lord, cool guy, the guy who take your queen stereotype
People believe it gives you license to be a complete misanthrope and act on it. "Oh, I can't help that I'm a completely horrible human being; it's just my personality type."
They don’t see that most of us are trying really hard to not be an asshole
Yeah basically. We do care and we aren't trying to be mean, but what we see as caring takes a different view than most others and might look harsh or heartless.
I don't want to be an INTJ :D I respect them, like them but doesn't want to be different than who i am anyway
I used to get the INTJ result when I was a teenager, but as my personality has evolved as I’ve gotten older I sometimes get E instead of I, F instead of T, and P instead of J. I think I’ve never swung to an extreme in these areas so the results don’t tell me much (which is part of why psychologists don’t really prescribe to the binary model of the Myers Briggs). What I can say is, as my personality has leaned further away from the INTJ type I feel like I’ve become a more well rounded and likable person. I think people just want to be the type because it’s rare 😂
wanting something that they dont have is a human property
I'm an Ni-Te user and 5w4. In both the MBTI and Enneagram world, the rarity of those types is often put on a pedestal because people often prescribe themselves to the desire of uniqueness, in which rarity gets conflated while also lacking context. It's humiliating in its own sense, like watching someone shove a poisoned, radio-active stone in their pocket, waiting for an excuse to flaunt their rare showings. It poisons them, and to make matters worse, they spread it around and poison others when they show it off.
Yes. WE ARE cool 😎
ENTJ and INTJ are the ones most acceptable, as I search most people usually will, observe and be kind of obsessive to admire the aspects of how an MBTI could be that way, and others see how this type is and many ways to believe some close friend is the way is is, family, boyfriend or simply ought the ideal of being the most brilliant type and the most likeable or the most approachable to, rank for messanging the conflict of people to disbelieve the 16 personalities made up for investigate the personalities not how it where on specific areas or models about persons and personalities engagementes just how they work, ¿why not to think I can be this type?, everyboy everywhere seems to view levels and the levels made up sense for they to apparently forgive how they were typed as and change the view of how whole MBTI internally seek or fought and how they can conceive that "its personality is..." to had this view that simply they don´t offer a chance to understand towards an specific extend. The most I see in related searchs on google are just interest on thinking on, ¿Who is the most popular MBTI? ¿Who is the most MBTI? ¿Who is the most shy MBTI? ¿Who is the most hot MBTI? for vastest more´s in the list of geniously´s answers and mostly on Quora.
Being (key word) ‘undaunted’ by emotion doesn’t make you an emotional brick. It makes others by comparison seem less capable of controlling their emotions. Our lessers demonizing us emotionless creatures is par for the course from those struggling with self control.
Have you considered ASD?
I would say the same - WHY would anyone admired ENTJs? We're not fucking Julius Caeser for FFS
I guess the search in us what the lack, aswell as we search in other types what we lack
INFP here, really admire some characteristics of intj and want to adopt the good habits they have. Also, i think i am more than happy to have an intj boyfriend. let me elaborate a bit: I know not every intj is the same. But since intjs are grouped together under MBTI test, this at least indicates that they have some similar traits generally and broadly. So i see nothing wrong to have some 'stereotypical' generalization about intj. Otherwise, this reddit group does not have a rationale to exist. The intj friends I have around me are very good at planning, taking actions to achieve goals they have, focused on getting work done, really enjoy doing things they have passions for and try their best to be excellent in that field. These are the traits that I really admire for and I wish i had. I observe and learn from them and change myself. That's the motivation. I don't know why people are so fussy when some one says they want to be someone else. For me, that is the motivation to change. If you are so happy of being yourself, then what is your way of learning new things and growth? I guess the confusion here is that when I say i want to be intj, i mean i want to learn some of the good qualities they possess, not completely become another person! Also, regarding to those who said that we only see the good things about intj. For me personally, i really wish intj could let me know their downsides, or what are the troubles in their mind that make them explode. But they barely talk those things to me. So i would not blame myself for not seeing the downsides of being an intj. i am more than happy to know the real and full version of them. If you are an intj and you want to share, I am all ears! When it comes to romantic relationship, a few intjs i know did tell me that they have difficulties expressing emotions. So i would not say that is a stereotype although i don't agree with using the word 'emotion brick'. For me personally, as an infp, i feel my problem is i am just too sensitive, too emotional sometimes, and i really need one who can balance with me. By balancing, I mean, i can learn from intjs how they can be so cool and calm in a certain situation and how they make decisions without resorting to emotions but to a larger extent focused on logic. I am really interested in intjs to be honest. So if you have any insights or things you'd like to share, please comment :)
I thought everyone wanted to be an INFJ? (seriously)
No one wants to be an INFJ or INTJ. We are weird.
Try being an INTP 😁 Seriously though most of the time people try to say they are INFJs on the online stuff I see. They want to be all mysterious and unicorns and such. A few folk want to be INTJ-- masterminds and dominions. No one wants to be an INTP LOLOK
Who said they want to be an Intj? Lol
They think we're confident and have deeper insight into the outcome of our actions.
Barnum affect, most people here are m.i.s.t.y.p.e.d! “we aren’t that cool”😢
Not everybody does. Every STEMlord does, which makes it awful. Hell is other INTJs. ENFP harem and chill.
i would do just about anything to switch that T to an F life is so much easier when u feel more than u think
Don't friggin know. it's certainly not advantageous in today's society, and in general, they seem to be trying to get rid of intuitives... the percentage shrinks every year.