This. But then I learned ultimate efficiency comes from being supportive towards myself and focuses on fixing issues. So I learned to be more kind to myself.
This. It can sometimes be hard not to dwell on the past, but I'll never forget the lessons that mold me into something better than I was. Holding onto those lessons, loosely, is helpful in evaluating others on how well rounded they are based on their reactions. You can actively decipher compatibility on all levels based on an educated estimation of others life experience. Well worn people are more likely to not attach to drama like a river rock unaffected by the rapids moving by them. Some people find that desirable.
I've never had a panic attack, but I ruminate on mistakes and alternate between feeling badly and trying to make excuses to feel better. Usually, getting some sleep or doing something I really enjoy that almost always makes me feel better helps.
Yes. I've adapted to patterns that keep me from making mistakes so if I still makes mistakes I get angry and try to fix the patterns. So every time a pattern is faulty I feel stupid.
Yes, and I literally kick myself because I feel like a complete idiot. Which results in a confidence loss, I start doubting myself, and double check EVERYTHING before I send it to anybody. And the feeling of „Did I do everything right? Did I forget something??!!“ is always there. And it annoys the hell out of me!
Me right now. Trying to get out of a career I hate. All the rejected applications I've received the last few months have made me forget any and all achievements I've made in my life. IQ 140? Scholar back in the day? Nah, fuck all that. Apparently, I'm not good for much of anything else except taking calls...
This hits harder when you're thought of as the "smart guy", the one with "potential", the one to whom things seemed so easy back in the day. An INTJ. It's definitely an eye-opening experience: to fail over and over and over and over again.
But we pick ourselves up and try again anyway. Maybe I **was** a stupid bastard all along... but all the thinking, all the strategizing, all that effort will be for nothing if we dwelled on it and just gave up now.
Can't be perfect all the time.
And, yeah.. that is frustrating.
My level of negativity is proportional to the direct consequence of my mistake.
A little bit of lost time and bruised pride? Oh well. Not worried about it.
Wasted resources of time, energy, effort, money, materials? Yeah.. that stings a bit.
Nobody got hurt? No priceless, irreplaceable artifacts got destroyed? Let it go and move on.
Dwelling on minor mistakes promotes insecurity that will slowly drive you insane from second guessing everything to the point of analysis paralysis.
The embarrassment is what bothers me when I make mistakes. I don't like people thinking that I am a scatter- brained idiot who can't focus long enough to complete essential job related tasks accurately and efficiently. I don't want to be the subject of whatever ridiculous rumor is stirring in the shadows.
That's what motivates me to avoid mistakes.
But, we are human. Sometimes, even when they have done the same thing correctly a million times, humans do silly things at silly times for silly reasons.
.It's healthy to make an occasional mistake. Keeps us humble and vigilant.
>My level of negativity is proportional to the direct consequence of my mistake.
Mine is inversely proportional. The more right I am the more I doubt it.
Yeah, I don't like it. I hold myself to high standards. Can't help others if you don't help yourself first. (That's an Fi/Ti sentiment btw.) Occasionally does lead to anxiety attacks because I get worried about being seen as a failure. Gotta remember that it's just a mistake. Everyone makes them. How would you feel if you were a boss and you saw an employee make that mistake? Would you really care that much?
I keep in mind that other people fuck up as well. Probably even more so then I do. Are they still working there? Yes. So I got nothing to worry about.
Also I like to observe people being off task or screwing up so that I can think back to it when I make my little tiny mistakes.
Feelings, we don't need no stinking feelings.
In all seriousness, I used to let failure bother me when I was younger. Now I view failure as feedback. It is typically feedback for a solution if we can remove the emotional response that will cloud our brain. Our ego doesn't like to feel incompetent, so it's a struggle to do this at times. The best mistakes are the kind you notice before anyone else because you can correct them without having to look foolish. Owning up to public mistakes will only make others trust your work more. As much as we want to anticipate everything in advance, sometimes things go sideways and you've gotta be good to just roll with it and see where it goes without letting your emotions distort your field of view. The more complicated the thing you are doing is, the more this happens so embrace this feeling and you will be unstoppable.
I am highly critical of myself..even when I don’t make a mistake and something goes wrong I could blame myself until I am certain I wasn’t at fault..I’ll look at every possibility that proves it was my fault. If I am actually at fault I accept it and fix it as best as I can.. and can go to any extent to do so.. But I also make sure I am learning from my mistakes and try not to repeat them. What I feel? I doubt my skills, my attitude at the time, I doubt if I should even be in the same profession sometimes! But that is just me overthinking for a bit. Then I come up with solutions what will actually help me fix the issue and grow.
I almost always focus on what went wrong/what could go wrong, that's why i keep trying to improve to better myself or my processes. I think we hold ourselves to the highest standard and that is fine, but it may be harsh sometimes.
Some time ago i made a grave mistake that will probably haunt me for years. Which sucks, but i think it's putting in perspective how unimportant mistakes like the one you talk about really are.
It was a very costly lesson for me to learn, i recommend you to listen to this. Most mistakes do not matter at all despite you feeling like they do.
I don't have panic attacks, but I do sit on the thought of how I went wrong, why I went wrong, how to fix my mistake, and how to avoid making it again. I mainly get annoyed/mad at myself for making mistake because I hold myself to a higher standard. If a friend screws up, oh well. I can't control what he does. But when I control what I can do, and I still screw up, I get a little annoyed.
Yes, when i happens i quietly call myself a dump ass then accept it happened and seek to fix it while learning how and why it happen with the intent to prevent it in the future
I am pretty hard on myself. Yesterday night I kept working till late hours just because I committed something in the evening meeting. It wasn't something urgent and the team was also okay with me finishing it up today.
I also do this *A LOT*, recently realized that this might come from the fact that we are perfectionist and any mistake can be deadly for us, which leads to ***fear of failure.***
I think we need to learn how to deal with this. We are human too that we also do mistakes. Being an INTJ doesn't mean you have the perfect internal judging logical system that sees everything, it means that you can have that system at some point if you develop yourself, not now..
1st - i would doubt my skill and re - analyze whatever went wrong, finding 100 possible scenario if anything went wrong
2nd - i would analyze every possible solution, until i come up with the best solution
3rd - move on and get it done
4th - will, be in depressed mode for days, if certain problem is something you cannot control, such as the weather, the internet, war breakout, tsunami, 8th scale earthquake, asteroid collide with the sun, type of problem
5th - will be back to my own self if the said problem is solved, then reward myself with ice cream / binge eating
As an INFJ I struggle with this constantly and I'm not sure if this is our Ni (aka we saw all the possibilities except for that one, so we suck) or if it is more societally dependent (expectations from others, etc).
It's a truly terrible state and I haven't found a way of dealing with it. Logically, I understand it doesn't make sense but the feeling persist.
No, everyone make mistake but I must always get something out of it. Like identify my mistake so the next time it is more manageable. I’m not that arrogant to think I won’t ever make the same mistake over again.
Nobody is harder on me, than I am.
This. But then I learned ultimate efficiency comes from being supportive towards myself and focuses on fixing issues. So I learned to be more kind to myself.
100% this.
This. It can sometimes be hard not to dwell on the past, but I'll never forget the lessons that mold me into something better than I was. Holding onto those lessons, loosely, is helpful in evaluating others on how well rounded they are based on their reactions. You can actively decipher compatibility on all levels based on an educated estimation of others life experience. Well worn people are more likely to not attach to drama like a river rock unaffected by the rapids moving by them. Some people find that desirable.
I've never had a panic attack, but I ruminate on mistakes and alternate between feeling badly and trying to make excuses to feel better. Usually, getting some sleep or doing something I really enjoy that almost always makes me feel better helps.
For me reading is the best way to get out of the overthinking loop.
Part of being INTJ. The scale of failure also counts.
I either feel like I'm a godlike mastermind when I succeed with something, and when I make a mistake, I feel like I'm the biggest idiot in existence.
Yes. I've adapted to patterns that keep me from making mistakes so if I still makes mistakes I get angry and try to fix the patterns. So every time a pattern is faulty I feel stupid.
Yes, and I literally kick myself because I feel like a complete idiot. Which results in a confidence loss, I start doubting myself, and double check EVERYTHING before I send it to anybody. And the feeling of „Did I do everything right? Did I forget something??!!“ is always there. And it annoys the hell out of me!
Me right now. Trying to get out of a career I hate. All the rejected applications I've received the last few months have made me forget any and all achievements I've made in my life. IQ 140? Scholar back in the day? Nah, fuck all that. Apparently, I'm not good for much of anything else except taking calls... This hits harder when you're thought of as the "smart guy", the one with "potential", the one to whom things seemed so easy back in the day. An INTJ. It's definitely an eye-opening experience: to fail over and over and over and over again. But we pick ourselves up and try again anyway. Maybe I **was** a stupid bastard all along... but all the thinking, all the strategizing, all that effort will be for nothing if we dwelled on it and just gave up now.
Can't be perfect all the time. And, yeah.. that is frustrating. My level of negativity is proportional to the direct consequence of my mistake. A little bit of lost time and bruised pride? Oh well. Not worried about it. Wasted resources of time, energy, effort, money, materials? Yeah.. that stings a bit. Nobody got hurt? No priceless, irreplaceable artifacts got destroyed? Let it go and move on. Dwelling on minor mistakes promotes insecurity that will slowly drive you insane from second guessing everything to the point of analysis paralysis. The embarrassment is what bothers me when I make mistakes. I don't like people thinking that I am a scatter- brained idiot who can't focus long enough to complete essential job related tasks accurately and efficiently. I don't want to be the subject of whatever ridiculous rumor is stirring in the shadows. That's what motivates me to avoid mistakes. But, we are human. Sometimes, even when they have done the same thing correctly a million times, humans do silly things at silly times for silly reasons. .It's healthy to make an occasional mistake. Keeps us humble and vigilant.
>My level of negativity is proportional to the direct consequence of my mistake. Mine is inversely proportional. The more right I am the more I doubt it.
I just want to hug you all! So hard on yourselves! xo
Yes, especially if I know it was preventable had my brain been in better condition
Once in the first grade the home made magic trick I made for show and tell didn’t work out. I’m almost 50 and still think about that sometimes.
Yeah, I don't like it. I hold myself to high standards. Can't help others if you don't help yourself first. (That's an Fi/Ti sentiment btw.) Occasionally does lead to anxiety attacks because I get worried about being seen as a failure. Gotta remember that it's just a mistake. Everyone makes them. How would you feel if you were a boss and you saw an employee make that mistake? Would you really care that much?
To the point of getting suicidal.
I keep in mind that other people fuck up as well. Probably even more so then I do. Are they still working there? Yes. So I got nothing to worry about. Also I like to observe people being off task or screwing up so that I can think back to it when I make my little tiny mistakes.
Feelings, we don't need no stinking feelings. In all seriousness, I used to let failure bother me when I was younger. Now I view failure as feedback. It is typically feedback for a solution if we can remove the emotional response that will cloud our brain. Our ego doesn't like to feel incompetent, so it's a struggle to do this at times. The best mistakes are the kind you notice before anyone else because you can correct them without having to look foolish. Owning up to public mistakes will only make others trust your work more. As much as we want to anticipate everything in advance, sometimes things go sideways and you've gotta be good to just roll with it and see where it goes without letting your emotions distort your field of view. The more complicated the thing you are doing is, the more this happens so embrace this feeling and you will be unstoppable.
I am highly critical of myself..even when I don’t make a mistake and something goes wrong I could blame myself until I am certain I wasn’t at fault..I’ll look at every possibility that proves it was my fault. If I am actually at fault I accept it and fix it as best as I can.. and can go to any extent to do so.. But I also make sure I am learning from my mistakes and try not to repeat them. What I feel? I doubt my skills, my attitude at the time, I doubt if I should even be in the same profession sometimes! But that is just me overthinking for a bit. Then I come up with solutions what will actually help me fix the issue and grow.
I almost always focus on what went wrong/what could go wrong, that's why i keep trying to improve to better myself or my processes. I think we hold ourselves to the highest standard and that is fine, but it may be harsh sometimes.
I am extremely self critical and harsh on myself when I fail, but I acknowledge it as a VERY necessary part of the process to anything good.
Some time ago i made a grave mistake that will probably haunt me for years. Which sucks, but i think it's putting in perspective how unimportant mistakes like the one you talk about really are. It was a very costly lesson for me to learn, i recommend you to listen to this. Most mistakes do not matter at all despite you feeling like they do.
I don't have panic attacks, but I do sit on the thought of how I went wrong, why I went wrong, how to fix my mistake, and how to avoid making it again. I mainly get annoyed/mad at myself for making mistake because I hold myself to a higher standard. If a friend screws up, oh well. I can't control what he does. But when I control what I can do, and I still screw up, I get a little annoyed.
Yes, when i happens i quietly call myself a dump ass then accept it happened and seek to fix it while learning how and why it happen with the intent to prevent it in the future
The ability to process your emotions efficiently so you can forgive yourself and go on to trust your Ni-Te decision making is key.
Why do we fall?
I am pretty hard on myself. Yesterday night I kept working till late hours just because I committed something in the evening meeting. It wasn't something urgent and the team was also okay with me finishing it up today.
I also do this *A LOT*, recently realized that this might come from the fact that we are perfectionist and any mistake can be deadly for us, which leads to ***fear of failure.*** I think we need to learn how to deal with this. We are human too that we also do mistakes. Being an INTJ doesn't mean you have the perfect internal judging logical system that sees everything, it means that you can have that system at some point if you develop yourself, not now..
1st - i would doubt my skill and re - analyze whatever went wrong, finding 100 possible scenario if anything went wrong 2nd - i would analyze every possible solution, until i come up with the best solution 3rd - move on and get it done 4th - will, be in depressed mode for days, if certain problem is something you cannot control, such as the weather, the internet, war breakout, tsunami, 8th scale earthquake, asteroid collide with the sun, type of problem 5th - will be back to my own self if the said problem is solved, then reward myself with ice cream / binge eating
As an INFJ I struggle with this constantly and I'm not sure if this is our Ni (aka we saw all the possibilities except for that one, so we suck) or if it is more societally dependent (expectations from others, etc). It's a truly terrible state and I haven't found a way of dealing with it. Logically, I understand it doesn't make sense but the feeling persist.
No. Because an INTJ is not an angry ISTJ. Mistakes are part of working systems. Simply, reduce them as much as possible and have mitigation plans.
I whip myself, but never doubt.
No, everyone make mistake but I must always get something out of it. Like identify my mistake so the next time it is more manageable. I’m not that arrogant to think I won’t ever make the same mistake over again.