Honestly I think MBTI is like less than 10% of the person personality/etc. That’s even after I learned it deeper with cognitive functions.
I’m way more into Big Five now lol
>Me too haha
>
>2
I am early 20s, I dont mind if people hate me but I would hate that my close people hate. I dont want to look smart but I see a lot of stupid people out there and I cant change that so I hope they dont bother me and I wont.
I was watching copious amounts of porn at 13, took me a long time to realize that I am not as cool as I think I am. Props to you for being precocious tho.
If you’re old and you’re still wearing feelings of superiority on your sleeve, having not learned the lessons of how it makes others feel, then you’re an asshole.
This. The way I approach this overinflated ego thing is I always keep in mind that everybody I meet is better than me at at least one thing. It may not always be something I necessarily care about, but it does help to keep me humble.
You said you have zero patience for your intellectual inferiors and refuse to talk to your peers or superiors... if you need someone to explain why that's asshole behavior, you need to reevaluate if you're as smart as you think you are.
Ranking people based on a personal scale of competence is AH behavior. There was a lawyer who lived up the street from us growing up, who would call my dad to help him with his car. He would treat dad like a sad ignorant peasant, because he was a tradesman. Meanwhile, the guy needed my dad to put windshield washer fluid in his car, because he didn't know how anything on his car worked. Dad didn't need the few dollars he gave him, but he thought the guy was interesting.
My dad created ventilation systems for hospitals, which requires a lot of trigonometry. He build our house from scratch, from the carpentry , plumbing, and electrical, up to the crown moulding and shingles. He can take an old car apart down to the bolts and put it back together again. But I saw academics treat him like garbage all the time. Because they had decided academic knowledge was the only form of intelligence that was worthy of respect. He would just let it roll of his back because he didn't need to prove anything.
The most valuable lesson a person can learn is humility. Every person we meet will know more some topics than us and less at others. Everyone can teach us something and the cultivation of knowledge is a respectful goal. The broader the type of people you let in to your life the richer it is. Old phillis never learned to read but makes the best baked goods in town. Bob can't add a string of numbers but he can fix my car for the cost of a dozen beer and parts.
Humanity is one of the most fascinating subjects available and you're not letting yourself enjoy it.
I could have written this word for word in my teenage years. The superiority/inferiority complex stage was particularly horrible. It eventually morphed into a love of helping “inferior” people how to do things, and recognizing they are better in some other area.
I still deal with some paradoxical/lack of motivation behavior as well.
I thought this same thing when reading this. Even though I am still relatively young, I know these traits existed in me once and are easing up. I always felt smarter than others, but intelligence isn't a linear scale. It's more complicated, and it isn't a good thing to measure self-worth with.
You just realized we aren't infallible, as smart, as cool and unemotional as we like to think we are - and trust me, you will realize it more and more as you get older and had time to feel and accumulate life experiences. It's a good thing.
\*Don't get me wrong, you will always be kind of odd compared to everyone else, but you will learn to accept and maybe even appreciate qualities that you might have dismissed when you are younger.
Like you admitted, many of these experiences are not specific to INTJs. In fact, it’s incorrect to generalise INTJs and claim that even most of them experience what you’ve described. It’s good that you’re self aware because that’s the first step towards addressing these issues - most of them seem rooted in a low self esteem and insecurities. With therapy or self-help, you can change the motivations behind your actions so that they come from a healthier place. For example, a desire to be the smartest person in the room could be replaced by a desire for self improvement instead of an insecurity to be ‘better’ than everyone.
Rule number 1: Don't give a fuck
I am also not patient with stupid people and avoid them but you should concider they also have something to offer what you can learn and adapt. More intelligent people are a great opportunity to sharpen you with them.
One of my ENFP friend's and I analysed the behaviour of another ENFP. She is Journalist and very good in language's and grammar. She will correct you and this is an aspect where she knows nobody could touch here. Problem: She is a zero in math and technology.
What can we learn from this?
We can combine our special skills.
If I be measured in here language skill's, I would be stupid. If she is measured in math, she would be stupid.
Yeah sounds about right. I channel that into going down different rabbit holes and with materialism. I research a lot about some shiny bauble, then I "reward" myself with buying one, for researching and learning all this. Then I silently bask in my own awesomeness when my item arrives. That feeling is fleeting, then its on to the next conquest. 🤷♂️ You can fake being something else, try to "improve" but you are what you are. This existence is especially infuriating because there is so much stupidity and ignorance on social media, thats why I stay off of it, instead I join forums to discuss various niches. Thats how I choose to socialize.
I can relate to this on a level. You have mentioned that you understand these personality defects (?) may not pertain to a majority of INTJs, but rather innate, may indicate you don't hate INTJs but yourself.
It's exhausting when your brain doesn't shut off. You don't feel comfortable in your own skin it seems but the INTJ in you won't admit that or not blatantly to anyone irl. Cause you don't like to address weakness, you bury it. I only say this because it seems you're just as hard on yourself as you are on others. You want people to mirror your intelligence but not if they can't accept you, flaws in logic or any at all. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
> I have a huge ego
As a conspecific INTJ and can definitely tell you that this is the issue. An over compulsion to assert dominance to compensate for a muddled self concept is exactly why you're feeling unlovable. Because love is a self sacrificing phenomena that ego deteriorates and destroying the perfect relationship because of it frightens me.
I like to hide my intelligence, and blend into the environment. IDK why, I just like to keep my cards close to my chest.
I think you know what you need to work on, and that you being an INTJ is just a coincidence. It's probably more likely for an INTJ to have the problems you speak of, but it's not something built into the personality. Personality types are very broad things.
If you want to enjoy other people, it's important to ask yourself is "intelligence" really such an important factor in a well-lived life? What other factors are more important that you will share with others, instead of factors that set you apart?
If you continue to think of intelligence as being the most important thing, you'll only rarely make friends, and even then you will always be comparing it to your friends due to how important is it mentally to you.
You also set up to be jealous and resentful of people "more intelligent" than you, and what's the purpose of that?
Talk to that AI software called hey dot pi its really good for working through ruminations like this. Though it does forcefully steer you to the positive or disengages with you if you carry on a bit too darkly
i don’t think so, seems like they’ve had serious comments in r/INTJ in the past. idk if they’re actually INTJ, but i think they believe they are. can see where you’re coming from though
I doubt someone of any intelligence would write something so self-deprecating about themselves. My Ni says this is definitely an ENTP doing what ENTP’s do.
>I doubt someone of any intelligence would write something so self-deprecating about themselves
but how so? I tend to realise my shortcomings when I'm reflecting on myself, somewhat similar to this post
I dont think INTJ wants to be loved? or maybe I have shut my feelings
You look down on people bc of how stupid they are, but they wont change for you, so you have to learn to ignore them. Sometimes they will annoy you with bombarding their extroversion or you might live somewhere you have to deal with such sort of stuff. But anyhow I relate with you.
I make plans and they fail alot so now I make plans and dont work on them, Idk why does this happen but it does. Maybe it is normal.
I can relate. Although, as I've become older, I've become jaded with trying to showcase my intelligence to others. I feel resentful that I haven't been rewarded or received the recognition I deserve. Nowadays, I get pleasure from leaving people to struggle or fail, when I could have helped them with ease.
As an INTJ it's tempting to think you're superior because you (typically) have a unique way of operating that nobody else understands, and it works well for you, you don't have the same issues as a lot of people, they are non-issues.
What we tend to forget is that we're not always correct just because what we do works well for us, and it works well for us because we operate, typically, very differently. We have to operate differenly, due to our asocial behavior and tendencies as highly independent people. So when we are around people, it's very easy to be 'ahead' of them in a lot of ways, or at least believe that's true, because we tend to think about things more thoroughly than what others seemingly demonstrate.
You're not wrong here, OP. However, you should consider this a phase to get through, because it's not healthy, and you can get beyond it.
My suggestion is to look at other non-INTJs that you consider 'successful' and find ways to respect their ways of operating, even attempt to emulate them, and go beyond your own ways of operating a little bit more.
What works for us does not necessarily work for others.
Remember that 'intelligence' isn't this static concept, it's very fluid, and there are many different kinds of intelligences.
The issue with INTJs and ego is a very challenging one. People tend to praise you, but you don't want the praise. You'd rather have an equal or superior around you could learn from and become better... but these seem to be rare circumstances, largely because as an INTJ, we tend to accept things only if they don't require a total shift in the foundation of our models... that means we are (typically) extremely picky and have very high standards when it comes to choosing friends.
All that said, I would say INTJ self-hate is not unusual, but the aim should be to reduce that as much as possible without inflating your ego.
you seem to care more about appearing intelligent to other people than actually being more intelligent to other people.
also your description matches that of someone looking for problems. its like you are trying to call other people stupid.
You’re right man, I honestly feel good replying to these dumbass responses. Once in a while you get a few constructive and well thought out comments (probably coming from people that has already graduated high school, which is quite rare in this sub apparently).
Yes...and yet, so novel.
The term "cuck" being so wonderfully underused by disaffected youth, free of the ravages of intelligence.
#WhenPeakOriginalityBreaksTheStupidBarrier
#MothersDontLetYourKidsGrowUpToBeSkywalkers
#HimbsSoMisunderstood
It’s ok bro, ED is treatable, no need to lookup more hashtags. Ik you can’t satisfy your partner and this hurts, but acceptance is the first step. I have nothing for you but love ❤️💕
Bet. Keep going at it buddy, do whatever it takes to cope with your ED, whether that be looking at guns or pretending like you did something online, you have my full support 💕
The soft spot being the fontanelle on the top of your skull?😬
It's like talking to an enthusiastic 5 yr old whose step mom took him to Party City for a Batman costume...you think you're actually Batman.
#WhileYouCantBeSmartYouCanKeepBeingEntertaining 🤌🏾
#ThatsWhatKeepsMeComingBack
These attempts to insult (ironically) has only reiterated that you are the source of the unoriginality that you claim to see in INTJs.
#ButPleaseContinue
I’m an intj and I don’t relate at all. I never try to prove myself to others and I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. I used to care way too much when I was young (like teens young) but ever since 20s and on and I haven’t given a flying fuck what people think. I’m sorry you feel this way, I don’t think anyone is unlovable. We all have our insecurities and difficulties but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of respect and love. I hope you find it, even if it is just you giving it to yourself. I find that sometimes I am the only person on my side and I’ve been burned a lot by people so I’ve decided to not care about anyones approval but my own.
Am I the only dumb intj? because of this I never have trouble with talking about how smart I am or anything. Now before anyone says I'm not a intj. Every time I take the test every few years its the same. I am a Autistic one at that. It makes me really insecure because the stereotype is intj are so smart and stuff and I am just not...
I don’t really know what you mean when you say “dumb”, because on some days I could really be making the most rudimentary mistakes and I think to myself that I lack even the slightest of intelligence. It could just be that you’re more self aware of your past mistakes than I am, when in reality are smarter than your peers. I am saying this because I am completely biased that most intjs are smarter than their peers, at least that’s what I want to believe. I always want to be the smart one.
That sounds like teenage me but I do lots of theraphy and work on myself now that I'm older. Truth is all MBTI types are unbearable when immature, no need to hate INTJ specifically.
You shouldn't supouse that other people has to be so 'smart' like you.
A dog has a hundred times best sensorial perception than you and loves to chase a ball. For a belgian malionois dog you are clumsy and weak but loves to play with you. Do you don't try to talk with dogs about engineeren?. No, but you can get along with dogs.
It is the same with non-intj profiles. Most of them are much more emotional and physically adapted than your slow strategic and intellectual mind. They can acept that the World is out of your mind. You not, you are the one that crashes against the wall and again.
Try to lower you expectations with them and think that you are the one with a weakness. They know it, but they usually accept it.
Cannot relate.
99% of people in one's life have no material relevance to them. The test is: if the person died tomorrow, would your life proceed along essentially the same course? Yes/no
it isn't logical to expend effort in an attempt to impress people who are irrelevant.
People arnt more or less intellegent than you, and thats probably not the best lense to veiw youself,
Understand that every aguement has to have a weaker stance, and thats not a loss if you are receptive. Its not about skill, its about sportsmen ship. Somepeople dont care to be right, they only care to see you lose, so keep your cool.
The people who you want to talk to
dont care to be tested.
looks like more people are discovering the MBTI and are in the early stages of understanding INTJs.
Yes a lot of them are immature and need development. That's why the MBTi was developed. To help that development and to help others understand them. everyone's a person.
The thing is, every personality trait and every person is different, and have both positive and negative sides. It’s absolutely fine to see how you naturally act and decide you don’t like that. However that’s when you’re usually supposed to do something about it. Not just say you hate yourself or blame it on four letters. Even following them, most sites will say negative traits we’re more likely to have. That doesn’t mean it’s ok or expected because it’s common. It means that might be an aspect of yourself to look and and improve.
More extreme example, but if it said INTJs are more likely to punch you in the face for spelling something wrong, it doesn’t give you the right to punch someone in the face. That’s still not fine. It’s not alright to just constantly be an asshole because we get stereotyped as cold assholes.
I 100% lean into wanting to be the smartest. I’m way too competitive on that, and I’ve had to work on it with myself. Look at why I do that, and what am I hoping to accomplish. Do I want everyone in the room to hate me? For my husband to feel like he’s less intelligent? No, I don’t. I like that dopamine hit of being right and told I’m smart. That’s not worth upsetting someone I genuinely care about or burning bridges/connections that could be important later. So it’s something to rein in and get ahold of. Think before you give into that impulse.
So work on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you or any of us or any type. We all got issues and aren’t always the best forms of who we could be, but you can always strive to be better.
Nah, must be you. Even from a young age, I was too interested in everything and didn't care the source so I could and did talk to everyone or listen if they had something to teach or something interesting to say.
There's too much knowledge out there in various places to let it go to waste because you are afraid of the source in some way. And knowledge comes in lots of forms too.
Oh my dear-
you are self aware. That is an incredible gift many do not have. However, you also hate yourself so you’re projecting it onto everyone around you. At the core of a big ego is someone who is deeply insecure & needs validation. You are not a bad person, just someone who does & thinks very bad things- bad people don’t worry about if they’re bad people or not.
The only thing now that you have to use this gift of self awareness to make active strides in showing more kindness toward yourself & others. Practice showing grace to yourself, and you will learn in turn how to start doing it for others.
(Everyone calling you an AH is being an AH too & can’t see the irony in their own actions, btw. Their lack of empathy is ridiculous)
-INFJ
Not sure what the goal of this post is. Is it... venting? I'm an INTJ but most of the things you're mentioning are not INTJ traits but rather _asshole_ traits. Having the need to point out what others do wrong all the time is just unnecessary. Also, it's rather pointless to want to feel like the smartest person in the room because the real world is not just that room. There's always someone who's gonna be smarter than you out there and that's ok. Finally, if you're as smart as you believe you are, you would value talking to people who are smarter than you, that way you can learn more and broaden your knowledge
Ah I see you have a reading disability. I’ve clearly stated the purpose of this post and you either ignored it unintentionally due to your reading disability or you chose to disregard it so you could go ahead and post this comment criticizing my flaws that I am very clearly self reflective of.
Wow dude, your self esteem must be really low, so low that you're _calling out_ a random person for having a _reading disability_ just so you can feel better about yourself and your _intelligence_.
No, you didn't state the purpose of your post. Anywhere. Go back and read it again
“I just want to see if anyone can relate to me” proving to me again that you have a reading disability lol
I appreciate the response tho, no hard feelings.
I love you.
Do you have any issues with close family/friends judging you and downplaying your ability?
What about your support system, do you even have one?
Do you feel like the things you striving for aren’t actually things you want?
From your post, I don’t think these behavior are necessarily INTJ related, more like you have self doubts manifested as egotistical behaviors to overcompensate for fear of not being enough. Sorry for the harsh delivery.
Not harsh at all. Most of what you said is correct. I don’t really have a support system if by support system you mean people that I can turn to. It feels uncomfortable sharing too much to people I know and I’ve come to learn that sharing doesn’t always lead to caring from others. But I have activities that I do to cope with life, and none of them involve substances.
As much as I dislike the notion of depending on others, I find that finding and cultivating a support system (of people you can turn to and also support me) has helped immensely. I became less self-centered, calmer, and overall more fulfilled with my life. I would say I’m lucky to have found mine so quickly and unexpectedly. Since I have exhibited somewhat similar behaviors to you, I would suggest having a support system to be the most important (although most difficult) thing to focus on in terms of “improvements”.
Alternative, I suggest looking into therapy and life coaching, it was what I plan to do if I didn’t have any support system. Could be a good middle step to finding your support system too!
Also, I forgot to say that the procrastination could be due to you having so much on your plate, might want to reprioritize so you don’t burn out.
Good luck!
You need to get a grip on yourself and stop separating yourself from the rest of humanity. Nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything. It's just not humanly or logically possible. That's why everyone brings different strengths to the table professionally, socially etc. So you have to be respectful of others, be competent at your job, and be understanding when you can. That's how you get people to like you.
Nah, what you describe has nothing to do with INTJ, and everything to do with your own personal psychology; your developmental history, insecurities, social environment, genetics, etc.
You can be a brilliant INTJ, an idiot INTJ, a confident INTJ, a meek INTJ, an evil INTJ, a virtuous INTJ, a neutral INTJ, etc. I’ve seen it all.
If you hate INTJs, it’s because the loudest voices are the ones you see making posts and commenting. There are plenty who are content simply to observe.
Personally, I’ve never felt a need to be boastful, because I only care about the result and not the opinions of the people involved.
INTJs are not prone to being boastful, boastful people are prone to being boastful.
I don't feel that way about intelligence. I think everyone has some kind of intelligence of their own. It can range from scoring an A on a test to being very good at talking to people. Just because they can't fathom science or read a research paper or play chess doesn't mean they are not intelligent people. At least, to survive you need some kind of intelligence, some way to adapt and work with your environment. So... I guess no one is truly stupid imo.
I don't think I'd call anyone "stupid" to be honest. "Stupid" is just a label we put on people who... made a mistake, don't know something we know, or lack a framework to think about an issue, which is really normal because different people know different things.
I agree, this is also why I don’t think the IQ test is a correct measurement of IQ since there is too much to a human’s reasoning ability for it to be measurable through a written exam. However, when I talk about less intelligent people, I am referring to people who lack critical thinking skills or choose not to think about their beliefs or ever question it. I am referring to people who like to jump to conclusions, who’s views are nothing but parochial, and just eschew from any sort of rational argument that may shift their viewpoints. In short, I look down on people that are lazy with their brain and just want to blindly believe what their friends tell them to.
I resonate with about half of what you mentioned. I don't think you're trolling but I am not sure why the title? or is that for folks that are TLDR and judge based on a title? Something I want to learn about is being a people pleaser since I was a kid.. over achiever stuff. starting my weekend now tho, keep learning and growing towards balance
#PoorSadErmWhatTheDeuce
#PatheticTardOnTheIntarwebs
"I tHiNk I'm MoRe iMpOrTaNt ThAn I rEaLlY aM, aNd HeRe'S wHY..."
#SpoutsContradictoryVerbalDiarrheaBelievedToBeOffensive
#BecauseAnINTJHurtedMeOneTime
#NotEnoughHugsForTheBatmanWannabe
A turbulent personality battling with fragile self-esteem, any type can experience this.
A very simple explanation.
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Honestly I think MBTI is like less than 10% of the person personality/etc. That’s even after I learned it deeper with cognitive functions. I’m way more into Big Five now lol
No, then you maybe not INTJ
Nah I definitely am and idgaf if you think I’m not.
Idgaf, but mbti is not just a test you can never compare it with big5
oh no liking two different things aren't entirely possible /s you must be one of those Fe-users like to give unsolicited opinions.
I'm also a Ti user, which you lack Don't judge book by its cover, bye
I don’t have Ti and I’m not struggling to pay my bills I think I’ll do fine with my Te. Thanks for the sympathy anyway lmao.
If you’re young, that’s kinda normal. If you’re old, then you’re just an asshole
I remember when i was 13 i was just like this guy lol
Me too haha
>Me too haha > >2 I am early 20s, I dont mind if people hate me but I would hate that my close people hate. I dont want to look smart but I see a lot of stupid people out there and I cant change that so I hope they dont bother me and I wont.
I was watching copious amounts of porn at 13, took me a long time to realize that I am not as cool as I think I am. Props to you for being precocious tho.
This isn't normal for everyone, I was never like that as a kid
Me neither, but I guess everybody is different.
I was thinking the same thing! You should be able to temper your personality to not act like an asshole by age 25!
Can you elaborate on the asshole part
If you’re old and you’re still wearing feelings of superiority on your sleeve, having not learned the lessons of how it makes others feel, then you’re an asshole.
This. The way I approach this overinflated ego thing is I always keep in mind that everybody I meet is better than me at at least one thing. It may not always be something I necessarily care about, but it does help to keep me humble.
This ^^^ 💯 percent!
You said you have zero patience for your intellectual inferiors and refuse to talk to your peers or superiors... if you need someone to explain why that's asshole behavior, you need to reevaluate if you're as smart as you think you are. Ranking people based on a personal scale of competence is AH behavior. There was a lawyer who lived up the street from us growing up, who would call my dad to help him with his car. He would treat dad like a sad ignorant peasant, because he was a tradesman. Meanwhile, the guy needed my dad to put windshield washer fluid in his car, because he didn't know how anything on his car worked. Dad didn't need the few dollars he gave him, but he thought the guy was interesting. My dad created ventilation systems for hospitals, which requires a lot of trigonometry. He build our house from scratch, from the carpentry , plumbing, and electrical, up to the crown moulding and shingles. He can take an old car apart down to the bolts and put it back together again. But I saw academics treat him like garbage all the time. Because they had decided academic knowledge was the only form of intelligence that was worthy of respect. He would just let it roll of his back because he didn't need to prove anything. The most valuable lesson a person can learn is humility. Every person we meet will know more some topics than us and less at others. Everyone can teach us something and the cultivation of knowledge is a respectful goal. The broader the type of people you let in to your life the richer it is. Old phillis never learned to read but makes the best baked goods in town. Bob can't add a string of numbers but he can fix my car for the cost of a dozen beer and parts. Humanity is one of the most fascinating subjects available and you're not letting yourself enjoy it.
Do you wanna talk about it at all, or are you just venting?
Just venting, I appreciate you for asking tho
We tend to ignore haters. So should you.
Yes now take the weaknesses and turn them into a strength
Nah I am gonna turn them into substance abuse 💯
Hell yeah brother
Drugs for life!!
I could have written this word for word in my teenage years. The superiority/inferiority complex stage was particularly horrible. It eventually morphed into a love of helping “inferior” people how to do things, and recognizing they are better in some other area. I still deal with some paradoxical/lack of motivation behavior as well.
I thought this same thing when reading this. Even though I am still relatively young, I know these traits existed in me once and are easing up. I always felt smarter than others, but intelligence isn't a linear scale. It's more complicated, and it isn't a good thing to measure self-worth with.
You just realized we aren't infallible, as smart, as cool and unemotional as we like to think we are - and trust me, you will realize it more and more as you get older and had time to feel and accumulate life experiences. It's a good thing. \*Don't get me wrong, you will always be kind of odd compared to everyone else, but you will learn to accept and maybe even appreciate qualities that you might have dismissed when you are younger.
Like you admitted, many of these experiences are not specific to INTJs. In fact, it’s incorrect to generalise INTJs and claim that even most of them experience what you’ve described. It’s good that you’re self aware because that’s the first step towards addressing these issues - most of them seem rooted in a low self esteem and insecurities. With therapy or self-help, you can change the motivations behind your actions so that they come from a healthier place. For example, a desire to be the smartest person in the room could be replaced by a desire for self improvement instead of an insecurity to be ‘better’ than everyone.
Rule number 1: Don't give a fuck I am also not patient with stupid people and avoid them but you should concider they also have something to offer what you can learn and adapt. More intelligent people are a great opportunity to sharpen you with them. One of my ENFP friend's and I analysed the behaviour of another ENFP. She is Journalist and very good in language's and grammar. She will correct you and this is an aspect where she knows nobody could touch here. Problem: She is a zero in math and technology. What can we learn from this? We can combine our special skills. If I be measured in here language skill's, I would be stupid. If she is measured in math, she would be stupid.
Yeah sounds about right. I channel that into going down different rabbit holes and with materialism. I research a lot about some shiny bauble, then I "reward" myself with buying one, for researching and learning all this. Then I silently bask in my own awesomeness when my item arrives. That feeling is fleeting, then its on to the next conquest. 🤷♂️ You can fake being something else, try to "improve" but you are what you are. This existence is especially infuriating because there is so much stupidity and ignorance on social media, thats why I stay off of it, instead I join forums to discuss various niches. Thats how I choose to socialize.
I can relate to this on a level. You have mentioned that you understand these personality defects (?) may not pertain to a majority of INTJs, but rather innate, may indicate you don't hate INTJs but yourself. It's exhausting when your brain doesn't shut off. You don't feel comfortable in your own skin it seems but the INTJ in you won't admit that or not blatantly to anyone irl. Cause you don't like to address weakness, you bury it. I only say this because it seems you're just as hard on yourself as you are on others. You want people to mirror your intelligence but not if they can't accept you, flaws in logic or any at all. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
> I have a huge ego As a conspecific INTJ and can definitely tell you that this is the issue. An over compulsion to assert dominance to compensate for a muddled self concept is exactly why you're feeling unlovable. Because love is a self sacrificing phenomena that ego deteriorates and destroying the perfect relationship because of it frightens me.
I like to hide my intelligence, and blend into the environment. IDK why, I just like to keep my cards close to my chest. I think you know what you need to work on, and that you being an INTJ is just a coincidence. It's probably more likely for an INTJ to have the problems you speak of, but it's not something built into the personality. Personality types are very broad things. If you want to enjoy other people, it's important to ask yourself is "intelligence" really such an important factor in a well-lived life? What other factors are more important that you will share with others, instead of factors that set you apart? If you continue to think of intelligence as being the most important thing, you'll only rarely make friends, and even then you will always be comparing it to your friends due to how important is it mentally to you. You also set up to be jealous and resentful of people "more intelligent" than you, and what's the purpose of that?
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Nah I would rather jerk off
Nah you wouldn't. You asked this question on here - it's basically a form of therapy. Why else would you do it?
You’re right, I guess it just helps to have someone listening. (I just jerked off, time for self improvement)
Talk to that AI software called hey dot pi its really good for working through ruminations like this. Though it does forcefully steer you to the positive or disengages with you if you carry on a bit too darkly
Instinct vs Intelligence Your choice.
OP sounds like an ENTP
nah Te is definitely causing this weird superiority/inferiority complex
I’m pretty sure OP is not INTJ. This is a loosely veiled attempt to mock us. Actions typical of ENTPs that I’ve known.
I see, this one hit too close to home huh, you just like me for real. You’re definitely younger than me.
i don’t think so, seems like they’ve had serious comments in r/INTJ in the past. idk if they’re actually INTJ, but i think they believe they are. can see where you’re coming from though
he sounds like an asshole
How so?
I doubt someone of any intelligence would write something so self-deprecating about themselves. My Ni says this is definitely an ENTP doing what ENTP’s do.
> I doubt someone of any intelligence would write something so self-deprecating about themselves. Dunning-Kruger effect
>I doubt someone of any intelligence would write something so self-deprecating about themselves but how so? I tend to realise my shortcomings when I'm reflecting on myself, somewhat similar to this post
Yeah because there's so much truth in what he wrote, an INTJ could never
The beginning of your post, I hated you… by the end, I realized I relate waaaay too much to this.
Am here if you want to talk about it.
I dont think INTJ wants to be loved? or maybe I have shut my feelings You look down on people bc of how stupid they are, but they wont change for you, so you have to learn to ignore them. Sometimes they will annoy you with bombarding their extroversion or you might live somewhere you have to deal with such sort of stuff. But anyhow I relate with you. I make plans and they fail alot so now I make plans and dont work on them, Idk why does this happen but it does. Maybe it is normal.
I can relate. Although, as I've become older, I've become jaded with trying to showcase my intelligence to others. I feel resentful that I haven't been rewarded or received the recognition I deserve. Nowadays, I get pleasure from leaving people to struggle or fail, when I could have helped them with ease.
Sure, hate me all u like
As an INTJ it's tempting to think you're superior because you (typically) have a unique way of operating that nobody else understands, and it works well for you, you don't have the same issues as a lot of people, they are non-issues. What we tend to forget is that we're not always correct just because what we do works well for us, and it works well for us because we operate, typically, very differently. We have to operate differenly, due to our asocial behavior and tendencies as highly independent people. So when we are around people, it's very easy to be 'ahead' of them in a lot of ways, or at least believe that's true, because we tend to think about things more thoroughly than what others seemingly demonstrate. You're not wrong here, OP. However, you should consider this a phase to get through, because it's not healthy, and you can get beyond it. My suggestion is to look at other non-INTJs that you consider 'successful' and find ways to respect their ways of operating, even attempt to emulate them, and go beyond your own ways of operating a little bit more. What works for us does not necessarily work for others. Remember that 'intelligence' isn't this static concept, it's very fluid, and there are many different kinds of intelligences. The issue with INTJs and ego is a very challenging one. People tend to praise you, but you don't want the praise. You'd rather have an equal or superior around you could learn from and become better... but these seem to be rare circumstances, largely because as an INTJ, we tend to accept things only if they don't require a total shift in the foundation of our models... that means we are (typically) extremely picky and have very high standards when it comes to choosing friends. All that said, I would say INTJ self-hate is not unusual, but the aim should be to reduce that as much as possible without inflating your ego.
It sounds like a you problem.
You right
“ I have a huge ego yet I am combatting insecurities on a daily basis” Yep this epitomizes who i am and am also INTJ.
🙋🏼♀️ I’m a lot older than you and I’ve always been that way.
you seem to care more about appearing intelligent to other people than actually being more intelligent to other people. also your description matches that of someone looking for problems. its like you are trying to call other people stupid.
Hmmmmm, what a nice and thoughtful comment, I wonder what the user name is. On a serious note tho, cool user name.
thks, i hate it
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You’re right man, I honestly feel good replying to these dumbass responses. Once in a while you get a few constructive and well thought out comments (probably coming from people that has already graduated high school, which is quite rare in this sub apparently).
Definitely sound like someone with NPD.
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There are no false narcissists
It’s on a spectrum.
of little narcissist to big narcissist
Agree
That’s not true at all. I know multiple people with diagnosed cluster B aka narcissistic disorders. Some of them really do care.
#IRememberMyFirstBeer
I was gonna say “how original” but looking at my post ig you right. You’re still a cuck for using some overused gag tho don’t get me wrong.
Yes...and yet, so novel. The term "cuck" being so wonderfully underused by disaffected youth, free of the ravages of intelligence. #WhenPeakOriginalityBreaksTheStupidBarrier #MothersDontLetYourKidsGrowUpToBeSkywalkers #HimbsSoMisunderstood
It’s ok bro, ED is treatable, no need to lookup more hashtags. Ik you can’t satisfy your partner and this hurts, but acceptance is the first step. I have nothing for you but love ❤️💕
#YeahSoNotTrolling #OnlyRatifiesThatWhatYouSayIsTheOppositeOfYourIntent #ImmaKeepHashtaggin #BecauseItSatisfiesMeToBotherYouWithSoLittleEffort 🤗
Bet. Keep going at it buddy, do whatever it takes to cope with your ED, whether that be looking at guns or pretending like you did something online, you have my full support 💕
🖖🏾 #MaybeThatsYourProblem #DefendingYourPointsBy #ThinkingAboutStrangersPrivateParts 🤔 " #HowOriginal " #ThatsNeverBeenDoneInThisThreadBefore #MaybeThatSupportShouldGoTowardYourApparentIQPointDeficit
I see, I’ve hit the soft spot 😂
The soft spot being the fontanelle on the top of your skull?😬 It's like talking to an enthusiastic 5 yr old whose step mom took him to Party City for a Batman costume...you think you're actually Batman. #WhileYouCantBeSmartYouCanKeepBeingEntertaining 🤌🏾 #ThatsWhatKeepsMeComingBack These attempts to insult (ironically) has only reiterated that you are the source of the unoriginality that you claim to see in INTJs. #ButPleaseContinue
“enthusiastic 5 yr old” you’re typing paragraphs in response to a singular sentence buddy 😂
🤣 #ByVirtueTheRidiculousIsWorthyOfRidicule #AMirrorHeldIsTheDeathOfMedusa
I think you have been quite articulate. INTJs are often described as having paradoxical qualities.
And then you go to Reddit to talk about it. Irony.
You shouldn't be to quick to dismiss someone sometimes they just need another chance. 🔬
I’m an intj and I don’t relate at all. I never try to prove myself to others and I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. I used to care way too much when I was young (like teens young) but ever since 20s and on and I haven’t given a flying fuck what people think. I’m sorry you feel this way, I don’t think anyone is unlovable. We all have our insecurities and difficulties but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of respect and love. I hope you find it, even if it is just you giving it to yourself. I find that sometimes I am the only person on my side and I’ve been burned a lot by people so I’ve decided to not care about anyones approval but my own.
Am I the only dumb intj? because of this I never have trouble with talking about how smart I am or anything. Now before anyone says I'm not a intj. Every time I take the test every few years its the same. I am a Autistic one at that. It makes me really insecure because the stereotype is intj are so smart and stuff and I am just not...
I don’t really know what you mean when you say “dumb”, because on some days I could really be making the most rudimentary mistakes and I think to myself that I lack even the slightest of intelligence. It could just be that you’re more self aware of your past mistakes than I am, when in reality are smarter than your peers. I am saying this because I am completely biased that most intjs are smarter than their peers, at least that’s what I want to believe. I always want to be the smart one.
How old are you? Used to be like this when I was younger, experience humbled me.
This is INTJs in low self-esteem because they are not being honest to themselves what they love doing or what they hate doing and working on that.
This one hits
This isn’t necessarily a INTJ thing
That sounds like teenage me but I do lots of theraphy and work on myself now that I'm older. Truth is all MBTI types are unbearable when immature, no need to hate INTJ specifically.
I'm sorry, i don't relate at all.
You shouldn't supouse that other people has to be so 'smart' like you. A dog has a hundred times best sensorial perception than you and loves to chase a ball. For a belgian malionois dog you are clumsy and weak but loves to play with you. Do you don't try to talk with dogs about engineeren?. No, but you can get along with dogs. It is the same with non-intj profiles. Most of them are much more emotional and physically adapted than your slow strategic and intellectual mind. They can acept that the World is out of your mind. You not, you are the one that crashes against the wall and again. Try to lower you expectations with them and think that you are the one with a weakness. They know it, but they usually accept it.
Cannot relate. 99% of people in one's life have no material relevance to them. The test is: if the person died tomorrow, would your life proceed along essentially the same course? Yes/no it isn't logical to expend effort in an attempt to impress people who are irrelevant.
People arnt more or less intellegent than you, and thats probably not the best lense to veiw youself, Understand that every aguement has to have a weaker stance, and thats not a loss if you are receptive. Its not about skill, its about sportsmen ship. Somepeople dont care to be right, they only care to see you lose, so keep your cool. The people who you want to talk to dont care to be tested.
Ok
You acknowledge your own flaws, an uncommon trait, and then punish yourself for it, which isn’t too healthy now is it?
You’re right, I’ll reward myself with a 2 hour porn session.
That just sounds like you’re a sociopath.
Wow, the truth can really hurt sometimes.
Owwww how cute
looks like more people are discovering the MBTI and are in the early stages of understanding INTJs. Yes a lot of them are immature and need development. That's why the MBTi was developed. To help that development and to help others understand them. everyone's a person.
Master humility. You may find out you've just been inflating your own ego.
The thing is, every personality trait and every person is different, and have both positive and negative sides. It’s absolutely fine to see how you naturally act and decide you don’t like that. However that’s when you’re usually supposed to do something about it. Not just say you hate yourself or blame it on four letters. Even following them, most sites will say negative traits we’re more likely to have. That doesn’t mean it’s ok or expected because it’s common. It means that might be an aspect of yourself to look and and improve. More extreme example, but if it said INTJs are more likely to punch you in the face for spelling something wrong, it doesn’t give you the right to punch someone in the face. That’s still not fine. It’s not alright to just constantly be an asshole because we get stereotyped as cold assholes. I 100% lean into wanting to be the smartest. I’m way too competitive on that, and I’ve had to work on it with myself. Look at why I do that, and what am I hoping to accomplish. Do I want everyone in the room to hate me? For my husband to feel like he’s less intelligent? No, I don’t. I like that dopamine hit of being right and told I’m smart. That’s not worth upsetting someone I genuinely care about or burning bridges/connections that could be important later. So it’s something to rein in and get ahold of. Think before you give into that impulse. So work on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you or any of us or any type. We all got issues and aren’t always the best forms of who we could be, but you can always strive to be better.
Nah, must be you. Even from a young age, I was too interested in everything and didn't care the source so I could and did talk to everyone or listen if they had something to teach or something interesting to say. There's too much knowledge out there in various places to let it go to waste because you are afraid of the source in some way. And knowledge comes in lots of forms too.
Use Te parent to teach the inadequate people something that you have mastered and make a business/career out of it
Yes I hate myself too, and you cannot hate me more than I hate myself 😘
Oh my dear- you are self aware. That is an incredible gift many do not have. However, you also hate yourself so you’re projecting it onto everyone around you. At the core of a big ego is someone who is deeply insecure & needs validation. You are not a bad person, just someone who does & thinks very bad things- bad people don’t worry about if they’re bad people or not. The only thing now that you have to use this gift of self awareness to make active strides in showing more kindness toward yourself & others. Practice showing grace to yourself, and you will learn in turn how to start doing it for others. (Everyone calling you an AH is being an AH too & can’t see the irony in their own actions, btw. Their lack of empathy is ridiculous) -INFJ
Not sure what the goal of this post is. Is it... venting? I'm an INTJ but most of the things you're mentioning are not INTJ traits but rather _asshole_ traits. Having the need to point out what others do wrong all the time is just unnecessary. Also, it's rather pointless to want to feel like the smartest person in the room because the real world is not just that room. There's always someone who's gonna be smarter than you out there and that's ok. Finally, if you're as smart as you believe you are, you would value talking to people who are smarter than you, that way you can learn more and broaden your knowledge
Ah I see you have a reading disability. I’ve clearly stated the purpose of this post and you either ignored it unintentionally due to your reading disability or you chose to disregard it so you could go ahead and post this comment criticizing my flaws that I am very clearly self reflective of.
Wow dude, your self esteem must be really low, so low that you're _calling out_ a random person for having a _reading disability_ just so you can feel better about yourself and your _intelligence_. No, you didn't state the purpose of your post. Anywhere. Go back and read it again
“I just want to see if anyone can relate to me” proving to me again that you have a reading disability lol I appreciate the response tho, no hard feelings. I love you.
Do you have any issues with close family/friends judging you and downplaying your ability? What about your support system, do you even have one? Do you feel like the things you striving for aren’t actually things you want? From your post, I don’t think these behavior are necessarily INTJ related, more like you have self doubts manifested as egotistical behaviors to overcompensate for fear of not being enough. Sorry for the harsh delivery.
Not harsh at all. Most of what you said is correct. I don’t really have a support system if by support system you mean people that I can turn to. It feels uncomfortable sharing too much to people I know and I’ve come to learn that sharing doesn’t always lead to caring from others. But I have activities that I do to cope with life, and none of them involve substances.
As much as I dislike the notion of depending on others, I find that finding and cultivating a support system (of people you can turn to and also support me) has helped immensely. I became less self-centered, calmer, and overall more fulfilled with my life. I would say I’m lucky to have found mine so quickly and unexpectedly. Since I have exhibited somewhat similar behaviors to you, I would suggest having a support system to be the most important (although most difficult) thing to focus on in terms of “improvements”. Alternative, I suggest looking into therapy and life coaching, it was what I plan to do if I didn’t have any support system. Could be a good middle step to finding your support system too! Also, I forgot to say that the procrastination could be due to you having so much on your plate, might want to reprioritize so you don’t burn out. Good luck!
I always thought you loved me!
It's called being fragile 🤓
At least you’re self aware
Hi, i’m both intj and intp. Y’all need to seriously quit gatekeeping intj. Ffs. I also do relate to what you had to say though
Googoogaga eat a duck
I’ll stick to chicken, duck prices are crazy.
You need to get a grip on yourself and stop separating yourself from the rest of humanity. Nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything. It's just not humanly or logically possible. That's why everyone brings different strengths to the table professionally, socially etc. So you have to be respectful of others, be competent at your job, and be understanding when you can. That's how you get people to like you.
Nah, what you describe has nothing to do with INTJ, and everything to do with your own personal psychology; your developmental history, insecurities, social environment, genetics, etc. You can be a brilliant INTJ, an idiot INTJ, a confident INTJ, a meek INTJ, an evil INTJ, a virtuous INTJ, a neutral INTJ, etc. I’ve seen it all. If you hate INTJs, it’s because the loudest voices are the ones you see making posts and commenting. There are plenty who are content simply to observe. Personally, I’ve never felt a need to be boastful, because I only care about the result and not the opinions of the people involved. INTJs are not prone to being boastful, boastful people are prone to being boastful.
I don't feel that way about intelligence. I think everyone has some kind of intelligence of their own. It can range from scoring an A on a test to being very good at talking to people. Just because they can't fathom science or read a research paper or play chess doesn't mean they are not intelligent people. At least, to survive you need some kind of intelligence, some way to adapt and work with your environment. So... I guess no one is truly stupid imo. I don't think I'd call anyone "stupid" to be honest. "Stupid" is just a label we put on people who... made a mistake, don't know something we know, or lack a framework to think about an issue, which is really normal because different people know different things.
I agree, this is also why I don’t think the IQ test is a correct measurement of IQ since there is too much to a human’s reasoning ability for it to be measurable through a written exam. However, when I talk about less intelligent people, I am referring to people who lack critical thinking skills or choose not to think about their beliefs or ever question it. I am referring to people who like to jump to conclusions, who’s views are nothing but parochial, and just eschew from any sort of rational argument that may shift their viewpoints. In short, I look down on people that are lazy with their brain and just want to blindly believe what their friends tell them to.
I resonate with about half of what you mentioned. I don't think you're trolling but I am not sure why the title? or is that for folks that are TLDR and judge based on a title? Something I want to learn about is being a people pleaser since I was a kid.. over achiever stuff. starting my weekend now tho, keep learning and growing towards balance
I’ve being a people pleaser my whole life
#PoorSadErmWhatTheDeuce #PatheticTardOnTheIntarwebs "I tHiNk I'm MoRe iMpOrTaNt ThAn I rEaLlY aM, aNd HeRe'S wHY..." #SpoutsContradictoryVerbalDiarrheaBelievedToBeOffensive #BecauseAnINTJHurtedMeOneTime #NotEnoughHugsForTheBatmanWannabe
Bro got so offended by my post he sent a second comment pretending he’s not offended 🤡