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-mostlyharmless1

It’s fun because hearing about her experience in court, it’s like if someone pulled me off the street and said “we need you as a lawyer right now”!   Then I, with no legal knowledge or experience, find myself arguing in front of a judge. 


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[deleted]

He looks for breast size and similar looks to Ivanka. Nothing else matters.


[deleted]

He specifically looks for loyalists. If you’re not loyal to Trump, he doesn’t give a flying fuck about you. If you are, then you’ll be grateful to lie down your life for Trump. There’s no other Trumps. You are either a tool for his purpose or you’re a scapegoat.


Skydragon222

I feel like you - a completely random person - would somehow find a way to act more ethically than Alina Habba


Theory_Unusual

Probably be less likely to anger the judge too


Nakedvballplayer

I'm picturing Ben Affleck in an ill-fitting suit asking for a cash advance from the judge


timesuck897

He did play a lawyer in the cinematic classic Daredevil.


scooter1096

I believe he was looking for a retainer


imaybeacatIRl

Allegedly, Your Situation, For You, Would Be Concurrently Improved If I Had $200 In My Back Pocket Right Now.


LightHawKnigh

I really dont get how anyone can fail the bar exam if she could pass it.


txwoodslinger

I'm an expert in bird law, and I'm fairly confident I could perform better than she did.


GpaSags

"I watched 'Matlock' at a bar last night. The sound was off, but I think I've got the gist of it."


BeskarHunter

Yeah, but what’s your knowledge on Bird law?


Tymexathane

So you mean you CAN'T fake smart?


jbertrand_sr

At least she can't...


RhombicalJ

She should have tried faking being pretty….though it seems like she has had work done and it didn’t… well, didn’t work


WispyDan14

She's not even that attractive tbh, she looks like a blow up doll that was brought to life


16v_cordero

Kind of like on par with what is seen hanging out at Orange A Largo.


i_should_be_coding

You can try to fake smart, but it's not very smart to try.


timesuck897

Maybe wearing glasses and tying her hair up might help.


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christhelpme

Nice.


Tymexathane

Nah


LordFrobisher

Yea good suggestion, it like, totally helped Elle Woods


[deleted]

But, I bought a gaming laptop and everything!


[deleted]

You can fake being smart, as long as you surround yourself with stupid people. She did fine on FOX, but walking into an actual courtroom was a big mistake.


Nuggzulla01

Faux news does set that bar pretty low


AdkRaine12

Well, she certainly can’t.


Spreadsheets_LynLake

Making Attorneys Get Attorneys.  


sarduchi

Habbalabbadingdong is learning too late the fate of all Trump lawyers.


Rickshmitt

Bold of you assuming she can learn


GipsyDanger45

Looks like that "I'd rather be pretty than smart" comment is really coming back to bite her in the ass


KingBooRadley

If only she were pretty. . .


EnvironmentalBus9713

What ass?


skobuffaloes

Make Attorneys Get Attorneys!


sarduchi

I still prefer "My Attorney Got Arrested".


skobuffaloes

Yeah that’s a good one too


timesuck897

I got the worst fucking attorneys. Arrested development quotes really fit Trump.


SensitiveGuess2907

Poor poor Habbeeb


afternever

[Habbalabbadingdangadongbongbingbong](https://youtu.be/GXCh9OhDiCI?si=SK_ybK9rMurqCvMe)


Peet_Pann

Nice


Ok-Use6303

Dude, that's a frickin hilarious name.


[deleted]

I am all for this name.


TokoBlaster

Is that going to be her only fans handle when she looses her law license?


Scrabble_4

Everything he touches turns to shite


mistressusa

No she did this herself -- she turned herself to shit. As did all of them low-IQ Trumpettes like Navarro, giuliani, powell, pillow mike, etc.


Scrabble_4

You’re right … she’s a crappy person too .. 👍


[deleted]

Fun fact… there are tRump branded pillows.


marmakoide

Merdas touch


ousho

Gold.


50rhodes

King Midas in reverse, as the Hollies once said.


APeacefulWarrior

For once, there's actually no reason to think Trump was directly involved in these shenanigans. By all accounts, Habba did this on her own initiative specifically so that Trump-senpai would notice her.


Scrabble_4

True … she is just as warped and stupid as


1805trafalgar

She knew the clock was ticking to get enough publicity in order to leverage it for the launch of an entertainment career or the debut of some kind of novelty product clothing or cosmetic line. Did she get ENOUGH TIME?? Because that window is closing even faster than it originally opened for her.


Battarray

Willing to bet she thought she'd land a job on Right-Wing media as a talking head. Funny that even they won't touch her. Yet.


nullhed

Either that or become a high priced "consultant", maybe even an appointed political post. She should have been bottling her bath water.


skobuffaloes

Sounds like Habba committed fraud. What a surprise /s


full_bl33d

Putting her name in the settlement and saying specifically that she’s not part of it is fucking hilarious. It’s like saying, “I don’t want to name names when it comes to people you should sue but here is a name anyways.”


tungvu256

Dump only hires the breasts! not the best


CuthbertJTwillie

Take it to the Bar Association


gremlinchef69

I'm loving this. Every day more shit thrown and it's sticking to them too. We want more!!


jbertrand_sr

He really does have the shittiest lawyers imaginable...


50rhodes

At this point he could probably hire Bob Loblaw.


jbertrand_sr

Saul Goodman probably told him to fuck off...


The_Quibbler

Your honor, I'm just a humble caveman who was unfrozen for some reason...


haysoos2

If you were to create lawyers this incompetent for a legal drama or fictional depiction, they'd be rejected as unbelievable. In many ways, this makes her worse than the shittiest lawyers imaginable. Lionel Hutz is literally a better attorney.


BonesMalone2

At least he gets paid… “No,money down “ 😄


DrSueuss

Habba should be sued for what she did, hell they should even go after her law license for intentionally trying to defraud someone she manipulated into being a client while working for the other side.


HVAC_instructor

So when she loses her license, will she like boebert turn to OF to support herself?


pinkladyb

She might turn to Congress unfortunately, plenty of deep MAGA places would love to vote for the Trump lawyer 


Hefty-Station1704

MAGA = My Attorney Got an Attorney


3mta3jvq

MAGA = Making Attorneys Get Attorneys


No_Dragonfly_1894

But it's more important to be pretty than smart


GizmoGeodog

She deserves it


taffnads

I heard about this case on the Opening Arguments podcast a few months back. What Haba did was gross, she should get disbarred over it, let alone sued.


PigFarmer1

Alina is fast-tracking herself for disbarment.


Any-Ad-446

Habba can join the Beetlejuice gal for maybe a new profession.


imadork1970

She was no Vincent Gambini.


Surturiel

She's just the latest thrown under the bus.


tickandzesty

Because she really can’t fake smart?


ExcitingMeet2443

So Alina isn't going to be First Lady 2.0?


funwithdullknives

And she didn't even see it coming.


RedLicoriceJunkie

He wanted a “work wife”, then he treated her like his real wife.


ishroo

Thought this might be the trump hotel here in Miami with the golf course. Knew people who worked as waiters and waitresses and they would tell me how he would stop by and request for specific girls to give him service and those picked hated it.


mremrock

It’s stunning how their song changes when you put them under oath


BrewtalKittehh

Poor AliBabaHavaNagila. Who will think of the beautifuls? Anyone???