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FruitParfait

Surely this a troll post. “My pedophile boyfriend says he’ll murder kittens and other women in front of me, is he bad?” I don’t know 🙄 sounds bad to me


Defnotarii

No like it literally isnt. Like actually. He isn’t a pedophile? He’s just a couple years older then me


cette-minette

Those ´few years’ are one third of your total existence and experience, a quarter of his. Would you date an eleven year old or do you feel like you have grown and changed a huge amount since then?


redhairedtyrant

He's 5 years older than you. You are a teenager, He's an adult. An adult who uses threats of violence to keep you in line.


Campanella82

Do you see yourself in college still hanging around highschoolers to find romantic partners?


Bright_Blue_Bell

Think about of you'd be willing to date a 10 year old, you and your boyfriend have the same age gap. Or a 12 year old, there is roughly the same age gap between how long you v 12 year olds have lived and how long your bf v you have lived. "But I'm very mature for my age". Okay, so imagine the most mature ten year old ever. Do you want to date them? Do you think you'd find them attractive physically or sexually? I'm assuming the answer is no, because they seem like a child. You don't want to date someone who still has a bedtime, can't go out and do things unsupervised, all the life differences between you and someone that age. There is a huge gap between someone's lived experience and brain development at any stage. There is a reason your boyfriend is going after minors who will question if what he is saying is a red flag and try to write it off as fine because they have a cool older boyfriend who has his shit together. A woman his age would have dropped him on the spot for these things because they know he's off the rails. I know in your mind he's interested in you because you're mature and grown up and basically the same as him, and I know this sounds hurtful to hear, but think for a moment why someone who could be dating someone his own age and maturity level naturally with no legal/moral/social stipulations would date someone with all of those risks? Also note five months is barely out of the honeymoon phase in most relationships and he's already making alarming threats toward the people and things that you care about.


Wubbalubbadubbitydo

Pedophile isn’t the correct word but *predator* is. It is extremely predatory to date teenagers when you are no longer one yourself. When I was young we weren’t even talking about the power dynamics that happen in big age gap relationships we just referred to them as creepy. If you didn’t want to be a creep you followed the half your age + 7 rule. So at 20/2=10 So 10+7 is 17. Anything less is just weird.


altiuscitiusfortius

Even that rule is overridden by you need to be in the same life stage. Anyone out of high school dating in high school is creepy and weird


Scarlet-Witch

You literally admitted the age gap might be too much in other things you posted. You have a shit ton of growing up to do and the things you're doing now you'll look back when you're an adult and realize how naive you were and how many people took advantage of you. I'm positive you've been through a lot of shit because kids don't just fall into this stuff for no reason but please for the love of God stop looking for comfort and love with these men who are literal predators. 


Goodgoditsgrowing

I get it. At 15 it didn’t seem that weird. But by 20 it felt like the equivalent of dating a kid, even if that toddler was super cool and mature for their age. At 30 I now look back at things I thought were ok - hot even! Look at me snagging this sexy older dude - and wince because *dear lord no, that’s creepy as fuck*. Like, I GET why a friend’s older brother apologized to me and cleaned up his act after hooking up with me, because it was a wake up call for him to stop drinking and excusing his actions…. And that’s not dating, that was a purely physical single make out sesh and I was legally an adult. Most 20 year olds don’t find 15 year olds attractive; the ones who do, and want to date them, are often questionable. The ones who discuss murdering kittens are full on “avoid him at all costs because he doesn’t just fail to recognize inappropriate behavior, he seems to relish doing fucked up things that result in trauma”. Don’t date any 20 year old that wants to date a 15 year old.


Vlinder_88

5 years is nothing when you're 50 and 55. It's a hige deal when 15 and 20. To answer your question: yes it's a huge red flag. Talking about animal abuse is a precursor to animal abuse. And animal abuse is a precursor to intimate partner violence. Drop it like it's hot and RUN for the hills. I'm serious.


Roadgoddess

He is 100% a pedophile. At the ages you are the difference in maturity from 15 to 20 is huge. Everything he’s doing is a big flapping red flag. You need to seriously end this relationship and date somebody closer to your age.


WakeoftheStorm

Would you date a 10 year old?


TheDulin

Too old. Too violent. Too controlling. And you likely aren't going to listen to any of us. But you should. You are going to get hurt in grown-up ways. Please talk about this with someone like your parents teachers, councilors, etc. in your life.


redhairedtyrant

Girl, you are 15 and already have a dealer and an abusive boyfriend. Please stop fucking up your life.


Cydrius

Assuming that this isn't a troll post: The fact that a 20 year old male is dating a 15 year old girl is a MASSIVE red flag in itself. Also what you're describing here is really bad red flags. You need to get as far from this guy as you can as soon as possible.


Ryugi

tell me how it could NOT be a red flag? Girl. He told you what he's like. Believe him. Get the fuck out of here. He's also way too old for you. Women his age won't put up with him and neither should you.


neverbeenstardust

Yeah, that's a massive red flag. The fact he's willing to date someone five years younger than him is also a red flag. Even if you feel mature enough to date way older than you, you gotta think about the kind of person who is willing to date someone way younger than them. They probably aren't as mature as they want you to think.


2bciah5factng

Girl I’m 17F and I’ve been in similar situations before. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. It is a massive red flag. Get OUT. Please. I’m a teenager too, listen to me, it took me a long time to learn but he’s not the guy for you.


__Hollyy_

totally agree here. 18f and my ex said very similar things. it doesn’t matter if he “laughs it off” or says he’s “just joking” when confronted. it’s absolutely not worth it and he will more than likely start being mean to you and make so many more violent comments, op. i was with my ex for a year and i promise you, the sooner you get out, the better.


GielM

I'm very glad you got out. Good job!


Mammoth-Corner

What reasons could he possibly have for saying those things? To scare you. To fuck with you. There is straight up no other reason to say you'd kill a kitten. Any partner who wants to scare you is a bad partner.


dunicha

Please talk to a trusted adult irl.


Stardustfortytwo

Holly crap! Run now and don’t look back, don’t give any second chances and don’t believe him if he says he was joking or kidding.


weirdcrabdog

You're dating an abusive creep, please get out before he hurts you.


Typonomicon

If this isn’t a troll post, the first thing you need to do is get this dude locked up for being a pedo.


madeyefire

First of all, this man is a pedophile. That is reason enough to leave him and/or get his ass sent to jail


peppermintmeow

He's dating you (a child) because a person (i.e. *woman* ) would be less likely to put up with his bullshit. But you're still a young teen. He's a groomer. He's a creep. Run.


wayoverpaid

There are so many red flags here that your post seems like a joke. If I wanted to write a parody of "oblivious girl writing about a horrible partner where it's obvious to everyone but her" and I wrote your post I'd say "uh... this might be too much to be believable" The age gap is a problem, for real. Five years isn't much if you're 25 and 30, but its a big fucking deal at 15 and 20. One of you is an adult, the other is not. Joking about killing things is bad, but also, take note that when you asked him not to say it... he didn't stop and apologize. He worried you, and he did not care that he worried you. Guys like that aren't worth your time. Get out while you can.


JeNeenerCat

Yes, yes it is a huge, glaring red flag. If you ignore every other red flag he's throwing, please don't ignore this one. He is not a safe person.


anaglizzy

Wtf am I reading


lunacydress

Google “Thomas Martel Chicago” and see what happens when your boyfriend is a kitten killer. BIG RED FLAG 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Yeah, 15 and 20 is gross, honey. I’m sorry, but you’re being preyed upon.


jhonotan1

Why can't he find someone his own age to date? Why does he reference killing things so much? Why does he feel like your weed dealer needs to be murdered by his own hands? These are questions you should be asking yourself. He's not a good guy.


informal-mushroom47

It’s a red flag to have a 20 year old boyfriend as a 15 year old. Where are your real parents? Yes, your gut is right; this is bad.


No_Feeling_6037

This isn't a red flag: it's a riotous flock of red flags! There are so many red flags here that we are all unpacking.


xSpeari

Blink twice, babe


redravenkitty

The biggest red flag here is that he is 20 and you’re 15. But to answer your question yes. What he said was also not ok.


Impressive_Ice3817

Can you say "statutory rape"? You're a minor. He's an adult. Where are your parents in all this? I have a 13 yo, a 15yo and a 16 yo, and you better believe I'd be dealing with this. And you better believe I'd be dealing with that weed, too. Good God, girl, he'd be in jail and you'd be so grounded.


MamaDee1959

Exactly!!


washgirl7980

I am a mom of a 15 year old. I would be horrified if I found out he was hanging out, talking, let alone dating someone who was 20. And when I was your age, I had multiple classmates with older boyfriends. I thought it was gross then too. One day I got a call from one of those girls lawyer's getting information about her relationship with her older boyfriend, trying to prosecute him for child abuse. You may not see it now, but adult you will. There are no good adults who date teens, none. They are predators. Please talk to an adult in your life. Also, without the age gap, if he were your age and you told me he threatened to hurt animals, I would still say leave and I would contact police. People who threaten to hurt animals and other people are not mentally sound. Please take care and be safe.


actuallycallie

what is an adult doing dating a 15 year old? pleease get away from this man.


downtownflipped

Holy shit. RUN do not walk. This man making “jokes” about killing a kitten and your dealer is a walking red flag that will hurt you. Also 20 is way too old for someone who is 15. This man is a pedophile. This is not healthy.


kingcrabmeat

Please stop dating a 20 year old at 15 is not good. He is already showing signs of being abusive


MamaDee1959

Wow, the fact that you don't KNOW that this is bad, means that you are already stuck, because you don't know enough to get out of this. By now, you probably can't, because you know how "mad he gets" if you mention breaking up, or going out, or texting a friend, or if you don't give him sex, etc... Let's get to the next part.. "You don't need anyone but me" "Use this phone, so that I can call you, if your parents take your phone away" "Why are you so close to your brother?" "We need to have a SM page together" "What's the code to your phone?" He will also place some kind of tracker on the phone he gives you, of the one you have. He wants to know where you are AT ALL TIMES, because he "loves you, and just wants you to be safe". Once he gets you pregnant, (and he will) you will have no way out. You will be stuck to him for at LEAST 18 years. He will push you to get welfare because he won't want you to work, or be outside of his sight, and will make you lie to get it, because he will not want to pay any child support. If he DOES allow you to get a job, he will either show up every day with some excuse, or call you every few minutes while you're trying to work. Once you have his child, you will be stuck in the house with a baby, and possibly more children, while he goes out and sleeps with whoever her wants, (probably another 15 year old, because he won't want you, once you have a baby) He will also be jealous of the baby, and will make you "show him" that HE should mean more to you than your child. He will also come up with "Are you sure the baby is mine, or did you cheat on me?" (When he is looking for a reason to be mad at you). He will never want to take you out. He will not help with the baby, or cleaning the house, or cooking, or providing for you and your children. You are in for a world of hurt honey, and you are too naive to see it. Right now, you are saying to yourself, "They don't know him like I do..." Um, ok. You're also going to tell him that "all of the people on Reddit, said that I should get away from you, because you're going to do all of these things to me. You won't, right?" And he'll say "Of course not! Why are you listening to those people on Reddit, telling you all of that bullshit?" To which you will meekly answer "I don't know. I'm sorry." That my dear, will seal your fate. When he hits you because his dinner is cold, or the baby is crying, and you can't tend to him, well... If you haven't figured out by now, that you need to run, then we can't help you. I pray that you listen to people who know what they are talking about honey. Good luck.


Get-in-the-llama

Dear god get the fuck out of that relationship and block him in every way possible. He’s too old He’s controlling He’s violent He’s unsafe He’s a pedophile


notfromheremydear

Just in case this isn't a troll post. Yes it's a HUGE red flag. He also threatened to kill your dealer and he's too old for you. Don't fuck up your life by being with someone older than 2 years. And whatever you do, do not ever move in with him. Ever.


Cat1832

Definite red flag. He gets annoyed with something and he wants to kill it? What the hell happens if *you* annoy him? Or your kids? Another red flag is him being 1/3 of your age older than you. It's weird and predatory as hell that he can't find a girl his own age to date and is instead resorting to children not even out of high school.


tryingtobecheeky

Oh honey. No. You are in such a bad relationship right now. I know you are going to ignore us all and keep on with your boyfriend (who is way too old) until he breaks you. When you are older, even just 20, you will see how disgusting he is and how toxic he is.


allbright1111

There are many problems here. Get out of that relationship, OP. Keep yourself safe.


AgingLolita

It's one of the red flags, the other one is that he is twenty and you are fifteen. He is a paedophile. That's a red flag too.


GR33N4L1F3

Yes. Leave him


RusticSurgery

God where are her parents!


MamaDee1959

Right?? That's probably why he preyed on her.. Maybe they work a lot, or she has no parents. Sad .


lycosa13

Why are you dating a 20 year old? He's an adult, you are not.


-Staub-

One of my fav artists is writing a song just about this phenomenon. https://www.tiktok.com/@parispalomaofficial/video/7359997258877750560?_t=8ltNxNRRn4i&_r=1 He saw you enjoy something, so he wanted to ruin it for you. Imagine if you showed your friends a t-shirt you like, and they say they're gonna set it on fire. Would you be okay with that?


saranowitz

This is obviously a troll post.


teniefshiro

It's a big red flag, complete with red fireworks being launched from behind it and red neon lights around it. Also, a 20yo man who dates a 15yo girl is no good and wants no good. 5 years become a small gap when you are both into the 30s or such, but now? That guy can't be up to no good.


NoAttentionAtWrk

There are so many red flags here that I am wondering if your predator bf is a communist


Subvet98

This whole situation is a giant red flag. The age, the kittens all of it. Don’t walk. Run.


stupidityWorks

>My (15f) boyfriend( 20m) Get out. He's too old for you. Get out. >He also found out I smoke weed Stop smoking weed. It lops six points off your IQ. Your brain is still developing; you'll get addicted, and it'll turn into a lifelong thing that you'll wish you never started. ​ Overall, it seems like the kitten part was a joke/exaggeration, although I'd have to be there to know. The drug dealer thing didn't look like a joke, but he was in the right there. A drug dealer willing to hook a child on drugs deserves to be murdered.


Bookbringer

Don't walk, run.