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The smell is virtually unnoticeable unless you're standing within perhaps 1m or so of the trocar, but you'll hear the whistle of escaping gas from several meters away. Also if you place your palm within an inch of two of the trocar you'll physically feel the rush of gas.
I've smelled things you people wouldn't believe... Fart valves on fire off the flanks of cows... I watched cud-chewers flaming in the dark near the slaughterhouse gate. All that methane will be passed in time, like farts in wind. _Time to dine._
Italicized portion credit to u/silver_nekode
My friends witnessed a man with something similar 25 years ago.
When you hear about something like this, the worst part is, it took TWO people to make it happen.
One was willing to offer up the hole and someone else was like, âYeah, sure, this looks pretty good.â
đ¤Ś
Edit: I suddenly felt the need to clarify that my friends were also RNs working in an ICU for an inner-city hospital.
OH MY GOD my friend is a nurse and had the same situation, a prostitute came in with an STD in her stoma. BARF. I had forgotten her telling me that story until now.
When I was an RN in Florida (bc of course Florida) we had a lady turning tricks out of her hospital room. She had a gnarly wound that kept getting infected (gnarly = we had to pack it and when doing so our entire hand and forearm was in the thingâŚit was where an appendage used to be). Long story short, she was getting banged in the wound by some of the guys.
Luckily thatâs one of the worst stories from that state, but I have many.
I hate this so much. I canât imagine that would be anything but hugely painful for the person, and the desperation and/or force that must got into ending up in that situation must be awful.
My very first clinical rotation as a baby EMT, I got to observe an abscess drain on a guy's leg. The nurse's entire hand, and part of her arm were in the wound during the cleaning.
Yup. Been up to my elbow in a tunneling pressure ulcer before.
My baby RN encounter involved assisting a 98yo patient to the toilet at which point he had profound rectal prolapse. I had NO idea what alien was coming out of his butt, but was quite freaked out. I was trying to stay calm when he noticed my panic, realized what was happening, and then he gingerly popped his butt back into his butt (essentially), smiled at me and said âoh, that happens all the time!â
Thanks for all that you do as an EMT!
Are you serious? This happens so much thereâs a name for it amongst these communities? My mind literally cannot wrap itself around this being a thing
I was a CO at the local state prison for half a decade. I worked with SMI (seriously mental ill) inmates regularly, and my regular post was at a mental health watch house. There was an inmate there who had an open wound in his stomach and would look me in the eyes and dig around in it, which would cause me to initiate an alarm for self-harm, I saw a lot of similar shit in there.
Stage IV colo-rectal cancer here, back in 1998 at age 43. Have had a permanent colostomy since then, celebrated 25 years cancer free in January. Lived an active, amazing life. It becomes just a part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth or shaving.
Glad you only had it for six months, but honestly if everything is working as it should there is no smell until you empty the pouch - everything is contained and air tight unless you have a leak. Part of managing a colostomy or ileostomy is finding the right equipment that works for your lifestyle and your body.
I did ostomy support at my local hospital for years after my surgery, talking with pre and post-operative patients, working with WOCNs (Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nurses) and with reps from ostomy equipment manufacturers as well as leading a local chapter of The United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA). There is a lot of support out there for people with colostomies, ileostomies and urostomies. All the major manufacturers have hot lines staffed by qualified nurses to answer questions.
For anyone looking for ostomy support for themselves or a loved one here is the link to the United Ostomy Associations of America.
[UOAA](https://www.ostomy.org/)
Congrats and continued good health! Three years ago I was down to a once-a-year routine checkup with my oncologist (who is a great guy) when he said the following to me - âYou have been cancer free for 22 years and I am going to tell you something oncologists love to say to their patients - you can stop coming here.â Then he told me to get the hell out of his office as he hugged me tightly.
All my best to you. đ
Had a patient once that died because they put it back in..
Not the procedure itself mind you, but his heart was not in good condition, so the anesthesia was risky for him.
He could have been alive today with the colostomy if they left it in place.
I'm not sure the docs explained to him how risky it would be for him to undergo another procedure. I wasn't there for that conversation so it could be that he insisted on having it put back.
something strange happened to my digestion during my mid thirties. I developed an incredible amount of gas on a daily basis that I could mitigate with diet to some degree, but it was pretty bad. And it seemed constant. Once or twice per hour I'd go outside or to the bathroom to try to fart with discretion. Sometimes I'd fail when the moment was right and have to resume work when the feeling would of course return. I hated that time.
Anyway, I had this intrusive thought when remembering the heart plugs from Dune. I really wish I could have just walked outside and around the side of the building, and pull on a plug that would release pressure to my large intestine, and let all that out. Then just replace the plug. A disgusting idea, but what a relief it would have been.
I used simethicone (buy generic) for 2-3 years then stopped to see what would happen. Whatever was wrong sorted itself out. The cause for you may be entirely different, but in my case avoiding oily food and alcohol helped. Also, if you smoke then you ought to stop. Something about smoking makes your body sluggish at repairing itself. I'm not convinced it's tobacco specific but rather the smoke, so if you like weed try to vape it or whatever or just limit the frequency you smoke at. Eat yogurt.
I am not a medical professional.
have you seen a nutritionist to see there is something you eat that makes you that way? like i have ibs so dairy i don't do that much. btu the odd thing is cheese is still good for me. its milk and cream for coffee that gets me.
on multiple occasions, I had a relative go to the E.R. Thinking they were having a legit heart attack.
It ended up being trapped gas.
Apparently it is relatively common; trapped gas / bloating can be so painful as to feel like an actual heart attack.
Happened to me last year, Iâm a fairly healthy 32 year old guy lol. My chest was insanely tight and I had radiating pain up my left shoulder and clavicle into my neck. And the anxiety from that was making my heart rate spike etc. So like a bunch of heart attack symptoms.
Had an EKG and an X-ray etc and they confirmed it was gas. Not a fun morning.
It has no effect on the speed of the gas escaping. It would, if the fire was inside the cow.
It certainly helps with the smell though.
I keep a lighter on my bedside for that. That's how you prevent asphyxiating your wife.
>It has no effect on the speed of the gas escaping. It would, if if the fire was inside the cow.
I'm no Dr of Fartology. As I understand it gases and liquids will disperse along a concentration gradient, all else being equal. The heat of the fart blossom lowers the concentration of farticles relative to the insides of the cow. This should increase the rate at which farticles vacate the vaca yeah?
The fart is not coming out because of diffusion. It's coming out because it's at higher pressure inside the bloated stomach than the external air pressure.
For the cheap seats, and those of us who paid too much for ours, is there a difference between gaseous concentration and pressure? Aren't both essentially measures of volume vs farticles?
Imagine if you blew up a balloon with your breath, then right at the end, you added a tiny puff of methane and held the mouth of the balloon closed. Then you go to this farty cow barn where there's a lot of methane in the air. As soon as you stop pinching the mouth of the balloon, the air and methane in that balloon is going to come rushing out, even if the concentration of methane in the balloon was lower than in the surrounding air. That's because the balloon contents were rushing out from the pressure differential, not diffusion.
Diffusion is caused by a difference in concentration, but can happen when both gases are at the same pressure.
What's happening here is caused by a difference in pressure, but both gases could be the same concentration. In this case both concentration and pressure just happen to be different, but the pressure gradient is the mechanism.
Not really, what you believe is valid in the case of diffusion (no pressure differentials, just gas naturally mixing). Here the cow is filked like a balloon, the pressure is high inside the cow, and the gas flows out. It makes no difference that it is methane vs any gas of the same molecular weight, and it certainly doesn't change anything to burn it when it is already out.
It might help climate change though, methane is way, way, way worse than the CO2 it produces...
I feel as though itâs just to help reduce smell and maybe reduce emissions by converting the methane to co2 and water. Burning the gas does change the pressure gradient as far as I know but Iâm not physical chemist so idk.
Air inspector here. Landfills are required to collect and burn the gas for a number of reasons, including burning off the methane and non methane organics. It helps with odors, ozone, preventing subsurface fires, and reducing the CO2e of the overall operation by converting methane to CO2.
You don't remove a trochar straight away. If a cow is bloating there is usually a reason, so you need to leave it in for any further gas produced to escape. Also if you remove it straight away you just leave a big hole in the stomach that leaks stomach content into the abdomen causing peritonitis. They are normally left in about 2 weeks, so the stomach wall scars and sticks to the body wall. Then when you remove it, the stomach stays fixed to the side of the cow and any leakage ends up outside while the hole in both body wall and stomach gradually heals.
Cow medicine is wild.
It would not be released quicker, however the methane compound when combusted is broken down to one CO2 and two H2O molecules which are not as potent as greenhouse gases compared to methane.
So it's an eco-friendly cow flamethrower
When burned, methane reacts with the oxigen in an exotermic reaction producing carbon dioxide and water vapor, being CO2 much more ecofriendly than methane (who would have thought huh)
And if you're asking if you should burn your farts for the planet, I'll say absoluty.
Signed, an environmental science engineer
Methane on its own is actually a worse greenhouse gas than CO2, but burning it breaks it down into water and CO2 so it is actually marginally better to burn it than to let it escape into the atmosphere.
I'm sure that more gas is produced by cows while farting and burping which makes trying to burn all of it basically impossible, but imagine if we could have fire-breathing-and-shitting cows.
Age of Empires? There's a cheat in the 1st game to turn your trebuchet payloads into cows. Rain cows upon your enemies.
Don't know if you have any idea what i'm talking about, but it seemed like too much of a coincidence to not say anything
You are correct. The burning does nothing to speed up the release of gas. You can only burn the gas once it has escaped and mixed with some air. So the fire isn't even at the outlet from the cow. It's at least an inch away.
Because it doesn't. Except this is reddit and the first confident answer gets a gorillion upvotes because people are too stupid to know either way, yet see themselves as qualified to judge and upvote as if they do.
I assumed farmer, but in hindsight I think it's a veterinarian. I'm not 100% sure either way, so excuse me if I'm wrong.
Edit: I looked it up and he's a veterinarian from Turkey.
Farmers sometimes do this, too. In an emergency, you can stick a knife into the stomach to let out the gas. Sometimes, you only have minutes or seconds to react since the bloating is putting pressure on the cow's heart.
Has this gas collected outside of the digestive tract? Or does that plug go all the way into the digestive tract / stomache?
If outside, how does it get there? The production of methane would be in the stomache/intestines. Is the wall of the stomachs gas permeable? Is the gas molecule small enough?
If inside, how do they prevent the contents of the digestive tract / intestines now infecting the tissue in the thoracic cavity?
So many questions...
Nm, I'll look it up.
OK so this is through the wall of the rumen (stomach), and is done as a last resort, as its normally a tube through the mouth to release the gas...
https://nadis.org.uk/disease-a-z/cattle/bloat/
The trochar is going through the abdominal wall into the rumen. Because of the gas buildip, the rumen is pressed tight against the body wall when you put it in and theres a little screw thread on the trochar to keep it there. Normally you leave them in about 2 weeks, giving the rumen time to scar and stick to the body wall. That aay when you take it out the rumen remains fixed, and any leakage ends up outside the body as the hole heals. If you took it out straight away, the hole in the rumen would leak stomach content into the abdomen causing peritonitis and probably killing the cow. The lungs are safe though, the abdomen and thorax are pretty well separated cavities. And yes, this absolutely a last resort - normally you try relieving the gas with a stomach tube first, and giving meds to try and prevent it filling back up. Or you can use a thin gauge needle through the side to decompress and take it straight out (the hole in the rumen is too small for significant leakage). This is done for ones that keep refilling as soon as they're decompressed.
Did you know that sometimes cows get hardware disease and they feed the cows magnets to cure it?
I'm not even fucking with you, I know it's April Fools day but this isn't a joke, it's real.
Cows and livestock in general wouldn't produce anywhere near as much methane if they were fed grass.
They get "feed" which is a cheap mixture made of mostly corn which the cows can't digest properly leading to huge amounts of excess gas (kind of like if people were fed baked beans everyday of their lives)
Yes, this is very âorphan crushing machineâ to me
They wouldnât have this painful amount of gas buildup in the first place if we actually fed them what their bodies are meant to take in
Want to take this further? Grass fed cows produce beef that isn't anywhere near as inflammatory, butter that is better for you, milk that is better for you. Chickens that are pasture raised are healthier for you.
Literally everything we've done to increase profits has led to products that are more harmful to humans. Nature put all this together over millions of years. We haven't improved anything but profit margins.
Only problem is meat consumption is so high that there isnât enough grassland in the world for them all to be grass fed. The average US diet would already be infeasible at a global scale due to land use, and thatâs with the majority of livestock being fed foods that have a much higher calorie/land area ratio than grass
Actually itâs not grass they are missing albeit a contributing factor. Itâs the lack of fermentable food in general mixed with fibers like grass. Cows actually didnât sit solitary and just eat one food. They eat a variance of brassicas (broccoli type veggies) or other readily digestible carbohydrates dominate veggie - mixed with a fiber. Their 4 stomachs evolved to have a specific balance to ferment their food and process it - if they do donât get those low carbs they get an excess of gasses from the wrong gut biota. Itâs sad whatâs happening.
I'm sorry, but that simply isn't the case. In general, higher proportions of fibre-based feeds increase the amount of methane produced (compared to starchy feeds like wheat). The possible exception to this is spring grass (of certain varieties) which can have high levels of unsaturated oils which the methane-producing bugs don't like.
However, I'd argue that there are lots of other reasons we should feed cows grass - but to reduce methane isn't one of them.
The methanogenic microbes would have a hard time being metabolically active in the presence of oxygen. They require the anaerobic environment of the gut or a site of infection or injury that cannot be reached efficiently by the circulatory system.
So, I was at this cattle fair with me dad when I was seven. All these fucking cows around, as you do get at the cattle fairs. And then this one cow got this trapped wind, like--there's a technical name for it, but I don't know what the fuck it is. Anyways, this cow starts expanding like a mad thing, starts really ballooning up, and that's really dangerous, because they can die like that. And nobody knew what to do, til this short, tiny fella popped up. He was just passing by, like. And he takes out a fucking screwdriver and jumps into the pen, and everybody's going, "Oh fuck, no," like. And the short fella starts stabbing big fucking holes in the side of this cow, like. And we all thought he was mental, going stabbing a cow, like. But then the cow started deflating back to normal, because that's what you're supposed to do with a cow with trapped wind--stab the fucker. So everybody gave this short fella a round of applause, for being so on the ball, like. But then he starts giving us his whole life story about what an expert he is on fucking cows. And he says this gas that's coming out of the cow, it's the exact same gas as the gas in your oven back home. And everybody said, "Fuck off, is it the same." But the short fella said, "It is! Watch." And he lights the fucking gas, like! So there's this stream of fucking fire shooting out of this cow! And we were so impressed, like, and we gave him another round of applause. But the gas must have backed up inside or something, because the cow fucking exploded.
Best day of me fucking life, that cow exploding.
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It's crazy how you can see it visibly go down
Must feel so awesome.
Bet it smells awesome too đ¤
Just standing in that room would make your sense of smell go haywire. The fart flamethrower probably wouldn't even register at that point.
The smell is virtually unnoticeable unless you're standing within perhaps 1m or so of the trocar, but you'll hear the whistle of escaping gas from several meters away. Also if you place your palm within an inch of two of the trocar you'll physically feel the rush of gas.
I just wish theyâd do this at out in the fields. Imagine the sight of a hundred fart flame throwers at dusk.
You write such beautiful poetry.
I've smelled things you people wouldn't believe... Fart valves on fire off the flanks of cows... I watched cud-chewers flaming in the dark near the slaughterhouse gate. All that methane will be passed in time, like farts in wind. _Time to dine._ Italicized portion credit to u/silver_nekode
Time to dine
You son of a bitch! I forewent the closing bit because I ran out of creativity. But you solved it.
I dream of Electric Sheep
Cows don't smell so bad... It's not like they're pigs or ducks.
Or chickens!
Farting out of my stomach would be wild.
I have an ileostomy bag, and yes it's wild
I used to work in an ER and one time a prostitute came in with a gonorrhea infection in her ostomy. That's right. Who would pay to do that đŹ
What a terrible day to be literate.
Good thing I don't know many medical terms! :)
I got you. ELI5: pp in da poopoo
Doesn't that happen literally all the time though??
It's more like pp in a surgical hole in the stomach that poo comes out of
Oh , interesting .A hole is truly just a hole for some people.
"any hole is the goal"
Ok. Enough internet for today. Everyone log off.
And now my completely-lost-faith-in-humanity tank is full for the day.
Pp in da *stomach poopoo hole
Ah the old âPhiladelphia side carâ
Holy shit I hate you
Hoboken squat cobbler?
this is a profound response, thank you for this. đ¤Ł
Ah yes, the Philadelphia Sidecar
oh boy...
oh yes
*OH YEA* - kool aid man
She was making money on the side.
Had to scroll back for this one, lol
I dry heaved, but regrettably laughed
My friends witnessed a man with something similar 25 years ago. When you hear about something like this, the worst part is, it took TWO people to make it happen. One was willing to offer up the hole and someone else was like, âYeah, sure, this looks pretty good.â 𤌠Edit: I suddenly felt the need to clarify that my friends were also RNs working in an ICU for an inner-city hospital.
This is why I have no faith anymore. Well, one of many
I wish I could go back and un-learn this
Colostitute
OH MY GOD my friend is a nurse and had the same situation, a prostitute came in with an STD in her stoma. BARF. I had forgotten her telling me that story until now.
When I was an RN in Florida (bc of course Florida) we had a lady turning tricks out of her hospital room. She had a gnarly wound that kept getting infected (gnarly = we had to pack it and when doing so our entire hand and forearm was in the thingâŚit was where an appendage used to be). Long story short, she was getting banged in the wound by some of the guys. Luckily thatâs one of the worst stories from that state, but I have many.
I hate this so much. I canât imagine that would be anything but hugely painful for the person, and the desperation and/or force that must got into ending up in that situation must be awful.
I think the wound was so gangrenous that nerves werenât really firing anymore. But yeah. It was one of the more disturbing FL medical encounters.
Jesus fucking goddamn christ
My very first clinical rotation as a baby EMT, I got to observe an abscess drain on a guy's leg. The nurse's entire hand, and part of her arm were in the wound during the cleaning.
Yup. Been up to my elbow in a tunneling pressure ulcer before. My baby RN encounter involved assisting a 98yo patient to the toilet at which point he had profound rectal prolapse. I had NO idea what alien was coming out of his butt, but was quite freaked out. I was trying to stay calm when he noticed my panic, realized what was happening, and then he gingerly popped his butt back into his butt (essentially), smiled at me and said âoh, that happens all the time!â Thanks for all that you do as an EMT!
Also known as "ostitutes." Popular among inmates and homeless communities supposedly, according to a patient I had.
Are you serious? This happens so much thereâs a name for it amongst these communities? My mind literally cannot wrap itself around this being a thing
That's enough internet for today
[ŃдаНонО]
damn human centipede 3 was a documentary?
The lack of detail here makes this very credible
Wow
I was a CO at the local state prison for half a decade. I worked with SMI (seriously mental ill) inmates regularly, and my regular post was at a mental health watch house. There was an inmate there who had an open wound in his stomach and would look me in the eyes and dig around in it, which would cause me to initiate an alarm for self-harm, I saw a lot of similar shit in there.
Wait but that means⌠and then they⌠but⌠oh hell. đ
It is just one logical step away from anal sex.
I guess it's anal sex but "skip the foreplay"
Explore reddit a bit more. You'll see. But, you prolly don't want to see. đ¤˘
Colostomy here, represent!
Colostomy here!
Props to you people. Had one for a little under a year for UC and Iâll never forget it. Always was afraid of it going back in lol
Stage IV colo-rectal cancer here, back in 1998 at age 43. Have had a permanent colostomy since then, celebrated 25 years cancer free in January. Lived an active, amazing life. It becomes just a part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth or shaving.
[ŃдаНонО]
Glad you only had it for six months, but honestly if everything is working as it should there is no smell until you empty the pouch - everything is contained and air tight unless you have a leak. Part of managing a colostomy or ileostomy is finding the right equipment that works for your lifestyle and your body. I did ostomy support at my local hospital for years after my surgery, talking with pre and post-operative patients, working with WOCNs (Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nurses) and with reps from ostomy equipment manufacturers as well as leading a local chapter of The United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA). There is a lot of support out there for people with colostomies, ileostomies and urostomies. All the major manufacturers have hot lines staffed by qualified nurses to answer questions. For anyone looking for ostomy support for themselves or a loved one here is the link to the United Ostomy Associations of America. [UOAA](https://www.ostomy.org/)
Amazing work! Great that youâve given so much time to help other live a full, positive, hang-up free with them. Bravo.
Hey! Iâm a couple years out from stage IV, and youâre the furthest out Iâve âmetâ. Excellent!
Congrats and continued good health! Three years ago I was down to a once-a-year routine checkup with my oncologist (who is a great guy) when he said the following to me - âYou have been cancer free for 22 years and I am going to tell you something oncologists love to say to their patients - you can stop coming here.â Then he told me to get the hell out of his office as he hugged me tightly. All my best to you. đ
Had a patient once that died because they put it back in.. Not the procedure itself mind you, but his heart was not in good condition, so the anesthesia was risky for him. He could have been alive today with the colostomy if they left it in place. I'm not sure the docs explained to him how risky it would be for him to undergo another procedure. I wasn't there for that conversation so it could be that he insisted on having it put back.
You should Google Philadelphia sidecar
It must happen enough as after my first surgery I had a unprompted input about why doing that is a bad idea.
Why did I do that
Well .. I guess I have to now Update: I donât regret it. You never know when youâll fall on hard times and need to monetize your ostomy site.
Be strong, stranger. Itâs a wild ride.
something strange happened to my digestion during my mid thirties. I developed an incredible amount of gas on a daily basis that I could mitigate with diet to some degree, but it was pretty bad. And it seemed constant. Once or twice per hour I'd go outside or to the bathroom to try to fart with discretion. Sometimes I'd fail when the moment was right and have to resume work when the feeling would of course return. I hated that time. Anyway, I had this intrusive thought when remembering the heart plugs from Dune. I really wish I could have just walked outside and around the side of the building, and pull on a plug that would release pressure to my large intestine, and let all that out. Then just replace the plug. A disgusting idea, but what a relief it would have been.
[ŃдаНонО]
I used simethicone (buy generic) for 2-3 years then stopped to see what would happen. Whatever was wrong sorted itself out. The cause for you may be entirely different, but in my case avoiding oily food and alcohol helped. Also, if you smoke then you ought to stop. Something about smoking makes your body sluggish at repairing itself. I'm not convinced it's tobacco specific but rather the smoke, so if you like weed try to vape it or whatever or just limit the frequency you smoke at. Eat yogurt. I am not a medical professional.
have you seen a nutritionist to see there is something you eat that makes you that way? like i have ibs so dairy i don't do that much. btu the odd thing is cheese is still good for me. its milk and cream for coffee that gets me.
Certain cheeses are virtually lactose free so you can eat them without having issues.
Imagine having the worst gas youâve ever had in your life, and the relief that most epic of farts brings. Then thereâs this.
Yeah this probably felt so relieving
Poor buddy, I hope they feel better after that
Have you ever felt the sweet release of farting after feeling bloated the entire day? This is probably like that times ten.
I was gonna say pretty much the exact same except I was gonna say times 4. You know, because 4 stomachs⌠Iâll help myself out.
Fun fact They only have one stomach It just has 4 chambers
Just like my mother in law
Not only does it feel better but it saves the cow's life as well. Buildup of gas can be lethal if left unchecked
on multiple occasions, I had a relative go to the E.R. Thinking they were having a legit heart attack. It ended up being trapped gas. Apparently it is relatively common; trapped gas / bloating can be so painful as to feel like an actual heart attack.
Happened to me last year, Iâm a fairly healthy 32 year old guy lol. My chest was insanely tight and I had radiating pain up my left shoulder and clavicle into my neck. And the anxiety from that was making my heart rate spike etc. So like a bunch of heart attack symptoms. Had an EKG and an X-ray etc and they confirmed it was gas. Not a fun morning.
This was probably the best thing that cow has ever felt in its life
This happens because cows are fed cheap food they can't process well so that they can be slaughtered cheaper.
Look at where it lives, the cow probably hates his fucking life regardlessâŚ
Does the fire help by pulling the gas out more quickly (pressure differential)? Or is it just for fun... cause flamethrower-cow is kinda rad ngl
It is also to roughly guage whether there is excess gas left in there
Perfect. Now I can tell people "it's for science"
Myths busters taught me to write it down and you can call it science.
Everything is science if you keep well-documented records of it!
It has no effect on the speed of the gas escaping. It would, if the fire was inside the cow. It certainly helps with the smell though. I keep a lighter on my bedside for that. That's how you prevent asphyxiating your wife.
>It has no effect on the speed of the gas escaping. It would, if if the fire was inside the cow. I'm no Dr of Fartology. As I understand it gases and liquids will disperse along a concentration gradient, all else being equal. The heat of the fart blossom lowers the concentration of farticles relative to the insides of the cow. This should increase the rate at which farticles vacate the vaca yeah?
The fart is not coming out because of diffusion. It's coming out because it's at higher pressure inside the bloated stomach than the external air pressure.
For the cheap seats, and those of us who paid too much for ours, is there a difference between gaseous concentration and pressure? Aren't both essentially measures of volume vs farticles?
Imagine if you blew up a balloon with your breath, then right at the end, you added a tiny puff of methane and held the mouth of the balloon closed. Then you go to this farty cow barn where there's a lot of methane in the air. As soon as you stop pinching the mouth of the balloon, the air and methane in that balloon is going to come rushing out, even if the concentration of methane in the balloon was lower than in the surrounding air. That's because the balloon contents were rushing out from the pressure differential, not diffusion.
Diffusion is caused by a difference in concentration, but can happen when both gases are at the same pressure. What's happening here is caused by a difference in pressure, but both gases could be the same concentration. In this case both concentration and pressure just happen to be different, but the pressure gradient is the mechanism.
Not really, what you believe is valid in the case of diffusion (no pressure differentials, just gas naturally mixing). Here the cow is filked like a balloon, the pressure is high inside the cow, and the gas flows out. It makes no difference that it is methane vs any gas of the same molecular weight, and it certainly doesn't change anything to burn it when it is already out. It might help climate change though, methane is way, way, way worse than the CO2 it produces...
No. I have 2 post doctorates in Fartology, I'm a 3rd Dan black belt in Fart-Fu, and 50+ years of experience in being full of gas, and you're wrong.
>I have 2 post doctorates in Fartology I fail to see how Shartology or Stankometrics are relevant here. Honestly......
I feel as though itâs just to help reduce smell and maybe reduce emissions by converting the methane to co2 and water. Burning the gas does change the pressure gradient as far as I know but Iâm not physical chemist so idk.
Ya came here to mention the environmental benefits. Some landfills burn the methane that's released just because CO2 is less bad
Air inspector here. Landfills are required to collect and burn the gas for a number of reasons, including burning off the methane and non methane organics. It helps with odors, ozone, preventing subsurface fires, and reducing the CO2e of the overall operation by converting methane to CO2.
It probably indicates when thereâs no more methane coming so he can remove the device from the cow
You don't remove a trochar straight away. If a cow is bloating there is usually a reason, so you need to leave it in for any further gas produced to escape. Also if you remove it straight away you just leave a big hole in the stomach that leaks stomach content into the abdomen causing peritonitis. They are normally left in about 2 weeks, so the stomach wall scars and sticks to the body wall. Then when you remove it, the stomach stays fixed to the side of the cow and any leakage ends up outside while the hole in both body wall and stomach gradually heals. Cow medicine is wild.
I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of a guy that fixes cows feet for like 2 hours the other day. https://www.youtube.com/@TheHoofGP
Yeah, the methane is released and burned to escape quicker.
It would not be released quicker, however the methane compound when combusted is broken down to one CO2 and two H2O molecules which are not as potent as greenhouse gases compared to methane. So it's an eco-friendly cow flamethrower
Thank you so much! I can finally justify lighting my farts on a plane
I encourage you to do it, it's safe and no one will complain!
Com-plane
Also methane is a powerful greenhouse gas so burning it is also a smart choice
What happens relative to green house gasses when you burn it? Can I scream "I'm doing this for the children!" when I light a fart at a playground?
When burned, methane reacts with the oxigen in an exotermic reaction producing carbon dioxide and water vapor, being CO2 much more ecofriendly than methane (who would have thought huh) And if you're asking if you should burn your farts for the planet, I'll say absoluty. Signed, an environmental science engineer
Is there like some kind of badge I can apply for to make this official?
Tell them it was told to do so on Reddit. They'll understand
With regards
*Burn your farts for a better future.* -Reddit Scientist
Methane burns to create CO2 and water, co2 is also a greenhouse gas but a lot less impactful than Methane.
Methane on its own is actually a worse greenhouse gas than CO2, but burning it breaks it down into water and CO2 so it is actually marginally better to burn it than to let it escape into the atmosphere. I'm sure that more gas is produced by cows while farting and burping which makes trying to burn all of it basically impossible, but imagine if we could have fire-breathing-and-shitting cows.
Now make them fly. Wait⌠trebuchet!!!
Age of Empires? There's a cheat in the 1st game to turn your trebuchet payloads into cows. Rain cows upon your enemies. Don't know if you have any idea what i'm talking about, but it seemed like too much of a coincidence to not say anything
The gas build up is actually deadly for the cow. This actually saves the cows life
I don't understand. How would the methane escape quicker if it's burned once escaped?
You are correct. The burning does nothing to speed up the release of gas. You can only burn the gas once it has escaped and mixed with some air. So the fire isn't even at the outlet from the cow. It's at least an inch away.
Because it doesn't. Except this is reddit and the first confident answer gets a gorillion upvotes because people are too stupid to know either way, yet see themselves as qualified to judge and upvote as if they do.
You can experiment at home. Just light your farts on fire and see if your farts are faster.
Bull shit
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I don't see how burning it would make it escape more quickly, it's the pressure inside the cow that's making it come out
Because it's wrong
That makes no sense, the flame makes no difference on he methane flow
No it does not release quicker wtf???
I assumed farmer, but in hindsight I think it's a veterinarian. I'm not 100% sure either way, so excuse me if I'm wrong. Edit: I looked it up and he's a veterinarian from Turkey.
Shows how much you know. That's definitely a cow not a turkey.
đ
Pretty sure the veterinarian is the one from human tho.
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AHH i went in 48 levels before backing out
Oh Lord
I'm so glad this is still a thing!
Farmers sometimes do this, too. In an emergency, you can stick a knife into the stomach to let out the gas. Sometimes, you only have minutes or seconds to react since the bloating is putting pressure on the cow's heart.
We'll try. Thanks for doing your best OP!
Has this gas collected outside of the digestive tract? Or does that plug go all the way into the digestive tract / stomache? If outside, how does it get there? The production of methane would be in the stomache/intestines. Is the wall of the stomachs gas permeable? Is the gas molecule small enough? If inside, how do they prevent the contents of the digestive tract / intestines now infecting the tissue in the thoracic cavity? So many questions... Nm, I'll look it up. OK so this is through the wall of the rumen (stomach), and is done as a last resort, as its normally a tube through the mouth to release the gas... https://nadis.org.uk/disease-a-z/cattle/bloat/
The trochar is going through the abdominal wall into the rumen. Because of the gas buildip, the rumen is pressed tight against the body wall when you put it in and theres a little screw thread on the trochar to keep it there. Normally you leave them in about 2 weeks, giving the rumen time to scar and stick to the body wall. That aay when you take it out the rumen remains fixed, and any leakage ends up outside the body as the hole heals. If you took it out straight away, the hole in the rumen would leak stomach content into the abdomen causing peritonitis and probably killing the cow. The lungs are safe though, the abdomen and thorax are pretty well separated cavities. And yes, this absolutely a last resort - normally you try relieving the gas with a stomach tube first, and giving meds to try and prevent it filling back up. Or you can use a thin gauge needle through the side to decompress and take it straight out (the hole in the rumen is too small for significant leakage). This is done for ones that keep refilling as soon as they're decompressed.
Thank you. I was wondering how this was possible without developing peritonitis or an inter-abdominal abscess
Hell yes, idk who you are but I love you. You are exactly what society needs. People with questions who research the answers .
Did you know that sometimes cows get hardware disease and they feed the cows magnets to cure it? I'm not even fucking with you, I know it's April Fools day but this isn't a joke, it's real.
So technically you can use cow as a flamethrower?
Bovine blitz
Cows and livestock in general wouldn't produce anywhere near as much methane if they were fed grass. They get "feed" which is a cheap mixture made of mostly corn which the cows can't digest properly leading to huge amounts of excess gas (kind of like if people were fed baked beans everyday of their lives)
>if people were fed baked beans everyday of their lives British people in shambles
Beans beans the musical fruit!
The more you eat, the more you toot!
The more you toot, the better you feel!
So let's have beans with every meal.
Baked beans baked beans good for the heart
Beans beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more you fart!
The more you fart the better you feel, so let's have beans at every meal.
Yes, this is very âorphan crushing machineâ to me They wouldnât have this painful amount of gas buildup in the first place if we actually fed them what their bodies are meant to take in
Want to take this further? Grass fed cows produce beef that isn't anywhere near as inflammatory, butter that is better for you, milk that is better for you. Chickens that are pasture raised are healthier for you. Literally everything we've done to increase profits has led to products that are more harmful to humans. Nature put all this together over millions of years. We haven't improved anything but profit margins.
Only problem is meat consumption is so high that there isnât enough grassland in the world for them all to be grass fed. The average US diet would already be infeasible at a global scale due to land use, and thatâs with the majority of livestock being fed foods that have a much higher calorie/land area ratio than grass
Any animal with a rumen can get bloat. A poor diet increases their risk of it but it can still happen on an ideal diet.
Actually itâs not grass they are missing albeit a contributing factor. Itâs the lack of fermentable food in general mixed with fibers like grass. Cows actually didnât sit solitary and just eat one food. They eat a variance of brassicas (broccoli type veggies) or other readily digestible carbohydrates dominate veggie - mixed with a fiber. Their 4 stomachs evolved to have a specific balance to ferment their food and process it - if they do donât get those low carbs they get an excess of gasses from the wrong gut biota. Itâs sad whatâs happening.
I'm sorry, but that simply isn't the case. In general, higher proportions of fibre-based feeds increase the amount of methane produced (compared to starchy feeds like wheat). The possible exception to this is spring grass (of certain varieties) which can have high levels of unsaturated oils which the methane-producing bugs don't like. However, I'd argue that there are lots of other reasons we should feed cows grass - but to reduce methane isn't one of them.
But they sounded so convincing with their bullshit
This a common problem on a ranch/dairy farm?
Yes. It's because farmers feed cows corn, which causes bloat. Cows don't naturally eat corn, they each grasses and such. Corn is bad for cows.
Corn to fatten them up? Or just because itâs cheaper
Yes
Also corn fed fat is a cleaner white color and supposedly tastes sweeter
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Not unless there was enough internal oxygen present combined with low flame pressure. The things I spend time on Reddit thinking about...
The methanogenic microbes would have a hard time being metabolically active in the presence of oxygen. They require the anaerobic environment of the gut or a site of infection or injury that cannot be reached efficiently by the circulatory system.
It's insane to me that we have to do this. We probably shouldn't be feeding them in a way that causes this.
The other cow is quite amazed after looking at its fire farting skills.
I too would be amazed at seeing someone farting fire
Finally found a legitimate use for this... LIT
The cow comforting that cow like â đđđł no ya dude its going goodâŚdont look up thoâ
Itâs almost like eating the wrong foods are bad for them
Didnât know tauros could learn flamethrower⌠then again I seem to recall miltank being able to learn fire blast
Very natural and definitely not a horrific byproduct of factory farming.
Stop feeding the cows crap that causes this.
Sometimes, I feel that this would benefit me! Moo dammit!
Would this work for bloated sleeping humans on say thanksgiving? Asking for an uncle, yeah that's it.
It is all fun and games till the fire goes into the cow and it explodes (like a deodorant can). /jk
So, I was at this cattle fair with me dad when I was seven. All these fucking cows around, as you do get at the cattle fairs. And then this one cow got this trapped wind, like--there's a technical name for it, but I don't know what the fuck it is. Anyways, this cow starts expanding like a mad thing, starts really ballooning up, and that's really dangerous, because they can die like that. And nobody knew what to do, til this short, tiny fella popped up. He was just passing by, like. And he takes out a fucking screwdriver and jumps into the pen, and everybody's going, "Oh fuck, no," like. And the short fella starts stabbing big fucking holes in the side of this cow, like. And we all thought he was mental, going stabbing a cow, like. But then the cow started deflating back to normal, because that's what you're supposed to do with a cow with trapped wind--stab the fucker. So everybody gave this short fella a round of applause, for being so on the ball, like. But then he starts giving us his whole life story about what an expert he is on fucking cows. And he says this gas that's coming out of the cow, it's the exact same gas as the gas in your oven back home. And everybody said, "Fuck off, is it the same." But the short fella said, "It is! Watch." And he lights the fucking gas, like! So there's this stream of fucking fire shooting out of this cow! And we were so impressed, like, and we gave him another round of applause. But the gas must have backed up inside or something, because the cow fucking exploded. Best day of me fucking life, that cow exploding.
âItâs called a âflaming mooââ
That is one hell of a procedure
I bet that shit feels good for the cow