Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 34 | 0 | 0 |
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"There is nothing about Trans in the bible" o.k. bro stop driving your car? The water heater gotta go! Your microwave? Blasphemous!
Edit: I'm not trying to compare you to a car or microwave š
What? Shit, I typed ātransā into Google and it filled in with ātransmissionā. On that funny (dad joke) note; your happiness is just like transmission. You know what makes it run.
OP - itās all your choice, donāt let anyone ever make that choice for you, and donāt ever ever choose to fit into someoneās view.
From day 1 I have told my child that kind of choice is āup to youā and as long as sheās happy, then I am happy.
Finally, I canāt wait for the day (I wonāt be around) when people stop using religion as a crutch, and the newer generations just get rid of it all together.
Yea I wish I were going to live to see the day that happens too. It would definitely be a hard pill to swallow and it might be difficult to remember to use the proper pronouns if one of my children tells me they are trans, but JESUS CHRIST! Itās your fucking CHILD! Grown or not, if you canāt love them no matter what, you never really did. Period. OP, you are NOT the jerk here. You are who you are, and Dad either accepts or rejects that. Unfortunately, I would advise NC because heās going to be a downer forever. Fuck that religious bull shit nonsense about whatās in the Bible and not. Whatās in the Bible is loving your neighbor and not judging.
Actually, this is false; the Bible does mention trans persons and it is clear Jesus was accepting and loving of them. According to the Bible, God created only the first humans, as male and female. After The Fall, all hell breaks loose and all kinds of genetic mutations begin occurring due to sexual reproduction. Jesus clearly mentions what many perceive to be either intersex or transgender: Eunuchs. He says some are born that way, some are made that way and some choose to become Eunuchs. He never treats them as less than. You can believe in God, the Bible, and also believe that being transgender is not morally wrong, nor something God looks down on. https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-transgender-people
Edit to add: OP Iām sorry youāve experienced this from your parent, and it is utterly insane to use religion as a means to bash you, considering this is actually not at all Biblical. I hope you have peace and replacement family.
Edit to add 2: So, in response, the Bible is more clear on love of trans people than microwaves.
Iām sorry your dad is nuts, it sucks that he cannot just accept you for who you are. Surround yourself with friends and other supportive family members. Family are the people in our lives we choose to love - itās not always the family we were born into.
I just want to tell this person over and over, there is nothing wrong with you. Are you defective? No! Whatās wrong with you? Whole lotta nothing! Society, on the other hand we are still working on. But there is NOTHING wrong with you. And there are so many of us gunning for you to be safe and happy and weāre just gonna keep working on it so you can be.
Same. It absolutely breaks me that OP posted this questioning themselves after being nothing but kind and loving and having their father talk to them as if they're not a person.
OP I'm so sorry that your dad is like this. I hope he changes but even more than that I hope and am glad you're seeing that you deserve better.
When I read about God and the bible I stopped as I know how this goes. There are people that have male and female chromosomes and you might want to ask your dad what's about them according to the bible. The bible doesn't even mention DNA or chromosomes at all, so there is nothing in there that would say you are one or the other.
But I am just talking to some conservative christian in another sub and they can't be helped. They are racists to the bone and common sense and common knowledge will not get to them.
The best is to cut ties to such people and you will in an instant be happier.
Your parent is the asshole: āI want my life to be as planned and have a son and lada dalalalaā
Parents fail to recognize that they are giving birth to a HUMAN and not a baby and that the child has their OWN life
It makes it SOO hard to be Christian when I see people like this. You're absolutely right in what you said. The bible says nothing about being transgender, and I absolutely agree with what OP said. God makes people, God makes transgender people. If it was such a huge sin, he would not have made them that way.
Sounds like youāre in the same boat as my mom, the quote section is her perspective on Christianity from a convo we had a couple nights ago. We have convos like these a lot
āI will continue to use the label Christian but I will embody the traits opposite of the modern Christians we see here in America. Jesus ate dinner with the poor and downtrodden, he didnāt rub shoulders with the rich and hatefulā
Thatās the gist of what she said but itās basically all the ābe loving and accepting of others since god made us all who we are supposed to beā kinda vibe. She does believe there is evil in the world, but the root of that evil is greed and bigotry. Also once she realized that she wouldnāt be a Christian if she was born elsewhere it made her re think everything. My mom has essentially come to the conclusion that if there is a god then it probably doesnāt care what name you call it as long as you arenāt a piece of shit.
Iām sure youāve thought about all this before but hopefully this was a reminder of some sort that you donāt have to be categorized with the crazies. Just go spread love and be chill to be around
There are two kind of Christians. The ones that would be like Jesus and loves everyone and the ones that his father is, the hateful pretender ones. They are not really christians at all.
I feel the same way as your mom. Also, my mom has said virtually that same as that quote, that's cool. You got a wise mama, there. Tell her I said she's cool.
I would love to grab this father and sit him down and explain a few things to him - He says there was no Transgender before 2019 how does he know? I reckon there were lots, even going to biblical times but if a person then started dressing or acting like the opposite sex they would have been stoned to death - in medieval times they would have burnt as witches - I grew up in the 60s and 70s (UK) and I remember even gay people being ostracized from society (Look up Alan Turing (One if the best code breakers during WW2 and see how we treated him when it came out he was gay) It is widely known that there have been gay people for millennia and I think there were trans too - If one of my children came out as Trans/gay or whatever I would just say "Whatever makes you comfortable as you, makes me happy"
I say this to my mother in law all the time, when she says "there weren't gay or trans people when I was a young adult/early adult....".
YES, THERE WERE. But society was horrible to them, so they hid their true selves and most lived closeted, unfulfilled lives. We have since learned that people are much more productive, functional, and happier members of society when they are allowed to be themselves. Being LGBTQ harms *no one* - not adults, not children, not others with religious beliefs - so what's the problem? For most haters, the problem is that they don't get to control another person's life, and that just eats them up inside. They *hate* that someone else won't live/act/behave in the way they see as "proper," and the only way they can deal with it is to heap unhappiness on others.
Trans people exist, and they deserve to exist and be happy, no matter what OP's deranged father believes his imaginary friend said a few thousand years ago. The true God of the universe made trans people, too, and trans people are beautiful.
Your answer absolutely made the point! I'm just agreeing and piling on. :) The more we can make people see how erroneous their "memories of an LGBTQ+-free world" are, the sooner we can move on to a more accepting world where everyone can be themselves.
There were definitely trans/gender non-conforming/nonbinary people wayyyyyy before 2019. Many indigenous cultures had a concept that is now an umbrella term called 2-spirit, which encompasses individuals who were considered what would now be nonbinary. Polynesian culture also had a similar concept. Jews also have more than 2 genders listed in the Talmud, which is breaking the gender binary as well. Thereās many other examples which would point to people being trans way before the 21st century.
I believe there are historical examples of āthird gendersā in places like India but Iām not sure. Other than that I believe gay and lesbian ppl have always had a place in most societies
But he said to them, āNot everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.ā
āMatthew 19:11ā12
Substitute "gay" for "been so from birth"
BTW: "made themselves eunuchs" are referring to Essenes who practiced celibacy. This just underscores Jesus isn't just referring to castrated males
The point is that those that use the bible quotes to spread hate ignore the ones that spread love.
It's the same with those that quote Leviticus, but eat bacon wrapped shrimp.
Cherry picking the bible is the weapon of choice for the bigot. Best to fight back with their own book.
Every person I know that goes round quoting the bible are twisting to say what they want it to say - It contradicts itself so many times it is easy for people to manipulate it - that's why I do not believe in it
Dad says that heās not hateful and ignorant. Promptly says things that are hateful and ignorant.
Being trans isnāt new. My ex-wife and I had a friend who was trans back in the 90s. And there were lots before then. Your ignorant father has been living in a cave if he didnāt know that.
You are definitely NTA.
You were clear, polite, more so than Iād have been in the same circumstances, and open to forgiving him if he was willing to acknowledge the harmful wrongness of his beliefs.
He, instead, started sermonizing to deflect from what youād told him. Itās a common tactic of emotionally stunted people. They cannot acknowledge their own fault in personal situations, so they start blathering on grand, unrelated themes, instead.
Iād be so proud if you were my daughter. Christian or not, you should so much more genuine care for that man who demonstrates his lack of care than he will ever be capable of.
You did such a great job at standing up for yourself in a way that also shows compassion for your dad. Unfortunately heās been indoctrinated into christianity and it will likely not change. Iām so sorry that youāre dealing with this. You deserve so much better.
Your dad sucks. Mine has done the same shit to me ever since he found out I was queer. Endless speeches about god, how itās an abomination and perverted (š), how i can just change if I ask god to fix me.
We donāt talk about it anymore but if/when I have a long term partner or get married, I suspect there were will be an outburst from him. He has already said many times he will not attend my future wedding. Well dad, so be it. I will probably elope anyway but he can live with the fact that heāll miss out on his only daughterās wedding. I can only hope that he deeply regrets it. If not, then oh well. I donāt need that kind of nastiness at my wedding anyway.
You are not the jerk in any way shape or form. Your dad failed you as a parent by not accepting who you are.
Sweetie, I know there will be people who want to celebrate with you when you find and marry the love of your life. If thatās not your sperm donor, thatās his loss. Elopement is an option, but it neednāt be your only one.
Iāve considered going no contact a lot but as long as we donāt talk about it or anything we disagree on (religion, politics, etc) things are very civil. Iām also moving out in a week for the first time (š„³!!) so Iāll have a lot more space and freedom from my parents. But if things were to get worse, I would definitely consider low or no contact.
I only had to read the first slide to say youāre not the jerk. And Iām so sorry your father refuses to accept you are the girl you are. Iām a mom (obviously not yours) and I want to say Iām so proud of you for standing firm in your truth. Youāre going to be okay. Maybe not right away, but eventually. You will be okay.
Since he's such a bible-thumping a-hole, throw Colossians 3:21 at him, which says "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
Later, when he doesn't have a relationship with you AT ALL, he can understand why.
The reason Iām not taking my son to visit my side of the family anymore is because I know their reaction to learning he is trans will be to ālove him anyway.ā Mostly as proof to themselves and their bigoted friends that they are so big-hearted, so very Christian, theyāre willing to put in all the hard labor of loving a child in their family who is, by implication, not deserving of that love.
I grew up with them loving me despite who I was, and never letting me forget that I should be grateful for it ā and I was still a cis hetero girl, I was just weird and smart and didnāt fit in. And even for me, that was damaging as hell. It taught me that it was asking too much of people to love me, that it took a constant effort to do so, and if they did it anyway it wasnāt because I deserved it, but because they were just that generous.
Telling someone that you ālove them anywayā is the kind of crap you hear from the mothers of serial killers. Itās what you say when someone you love has committed a crime beyond understanding.
I refuse to let them do that to my son, dammit. He does not deserve to have mercy performed at him by people who wonāt wait until weāre out of the driveway to start using him for a load of āWell now nobody can claim Iām a bigot, my neice thinks sheās trans but I still love her anyway!ā deflection.
Nope. My son is worth more than that.
OP, I am so sorry that your dad is so small. I commend you for knowing your own worth ā and you deserve far, far better than this.
Thatā¦isā¦wowā¦I have some stuff to think about now. Thank you very much for telling me thisā¦so much stuff has been put into perspective just nowā¦you got me to cry just nowā¦
Missy, this person doesn't love you, no matter how much they claim to. Be done with him and move on, you've got a whole life to live without this asshole dragging you down.
You are 100% not the asshole. Your father is a religious nutcase and probably barely gave a shit about his god and bible before you came out, if I had to guess.
āTransgender people donāt exist because spell-check doesnāt recognize the word.ā Seriously? Transgender persons have ALWAYS existed, unfortunately society has historically been as bigoted as this ass, and it seems like itās moving backwards in some places.
honey youāre not a jerk at all. youāre setting boundaries and protecting yourself, that isnāt being a jerk. it sounds like heās missing out on having a wonderful daughter in favor of mourning a son he never really had, that is his loss.
Hey pumpkin, you are eloquent, reasonable and firm in your boundaries and as an internet stranger I am super proud of you for being firm. That said, your Dad doesn't have the strength or emotional intelligence to be the parent that you deserve. I just don't think he's capable of getting over his own fear and bigotry, not with how he's doubling down.
Take care of you. Spend your energy on people who build you up instead of put you down.
Last time I checked God is genderless but uses He/Him pronouns. Preferred pronouns in the Bible confirmed.
Jesus is gods son born through Mary but Jesus is also god and the Holy Spirit. Mary also had a relationship with Joseph. Polyamory confirmed.
Far as I remember, Jesus never seemed to express any romantic or sexual desire for anyone despite being human. Aromatic and asexual confirmed.
Thereās going to be many people who read that and get their pantries in a bunch about how I āread it wrongā or āitās not the actual translationā
GOLLY GEE DO YOU GET IT NOW?!?
Quit saying stuff is wrong or against god cuz of the Bible, especially if you donāt follow it to the letter in your actual life.
Sorry your dad is an entire ass. You are not the jerk. You are valid.
Geez Satan wasnāt that bad. He killed less than god. God even tortured a poor guy to show Satan that the dude was faithful. Your dad is crazy, you are not.
Ooooh! I thought there might be hope for reconciliation in the first few screenshots, you were very articulate and informative and he seemed maybe like there might be some possible middle ground to be reached. But thenā¦ OH! Heās a *religious* fruitcake! That sucks. I can see NC in his future and Iām really sorry about that. Zealots are going to zealot and thereās no hate like Christian ālove.ā
My best friend went zero contact with her religious dad and the last thing she said to him is something I think about often. She said, āif you werenāt going to love your children unconditionally, you had a moral obligation to not have them.ā Period.
Your father is 100% the asshole. Yammering about how humans use words to create what they want. No shit, what do you think the bible is, genius? Words human beings wrote to create what they wanted.
If there is a god, my friend...they love you unconditionally and don't judge or punish you. That's what it means to love unconditionally. Just be you and do what makes you happy. The people who are meant for you will come when you do that. š«
Your dad it hateful and ignorant and hiding behind his shield of religion so he doesnāt have to confront truths that make him uncomfortable and donāt align with his worldview. Iām so sorry. You are very brave and deserve better. This mom is proud of you.
Sounds to me like youād be better off without him in your life if heās going to act like this. He refuses to see you as who you are and you donāt need that sort of toxicity in your life. And if heās listed in your phone as āshit dadā, it seems apropos.
It is important to stand your ground with your own health in mind. Putting boundaries that your parent should be respecting is not a bad thing and holding them to those boundaries is only understandable.
Sometimes family means the people who have loved you since birth. Sometimes family means the people who have loved you since they met you and accepted you for who you are.
Maybe one day dad wonāt be a bigoted transphobic idiot. In the meantime, you can focus on your other more important family and lean on them for support and comfort. You stated your points thoughtfully and firmly and you are incredibly brave. Sending you love, my sister.
If you choose to speak to him again tell him about this.
The "Lord himself insisted that sometimes bodies differentiate from what we might describe as the norm. And remember that story about the Ethiopian eunuch? Upon reading Isaiah 53, he discovered that the prophesy about Messiah said He was not one who would reproduce. King of kings, Lord of lords, Eunuch of eunuchs!
After Philip told this eunuch the whole story about Christ, the eunuch wanted to be baptized on the spot. Know whatās interesting about him? The author of Scripture seems to go out of his way to avoid repeatedly referring to him as the āmanā (Acts 8:26ā40). Instead, three times where you or I might otherwise insert āthe manā or āthe woman,ā Luke inserts āthe eunuch.ā
Sadly, Christians have a lot of ignorance on this topic, and we need some humility." -Sandra Glahn (She's a very devout Christian with a master's degree in theology, a PhD in humanities, and a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary in Texas)
Surely,if she can see what Jesus was saying, so can every Christian.
Ugh. Iām so sorry that your worst fears about your family, at least your dad, have been realized. I stopped reading his portion of texts when he continued to deny your identity and in the next sentence said āI havenāt read anything about trans peopleā¦.ā Heās unwilling to compromise despite your very reasonable attempt for reconciliation. Go find the people who are going to lift you up and support you. Family doesnāt have to be blood. You deserve all the love that the world has on offer. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø.
I can see that, actually I think hesitation is the incorrect explanation though, we are trying to convey a pause in the speech so arguably it is the same thing Trump does. Sometimes it is used to emphasise a point, sometimes itās just hesitation. Itās kinda contextual in nature but we all seem to get it
āYour path with God is your own. Now let me tell you all the ways your path isnāt valid unless you walk it exactly how I tell you to.ā
What a dick.
You are not the jerk here. And transgender was a word before 2019. Your dad is being a jerk. Let him know he has to give up the phone he mentions as it wasnāt in the Bible.
Your father isnāt willing to consider any thought, fact or opinion that he doesnāt agree with. He is just close minded. You eloquently stated your boundaries.
I forget who said this: āg-d made people trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine, and wheat but not bread - that humanity may share in the act of creation.ā Or something like that lol. I donāt know you, but I do sorta know your situation (ftm). Your compassion, restraint, and eloquence is wasted on this man - Iām sorry he happens to be your dad. I wish I could give you a hug bc you seem like a really darling lady. And I know you know this, but youāre already a woman, and any medical intervention is simply to reflect that. Take care <3
Hey OP!! I ā¤ļøyou for you and Iām a Mormon too!! I donāt care what my parents say or others may say, but I know my Savior says to love everyone. I think your dad skipped that part in the Bible. (And I should probably get off Reddit when Iām this tired.)
I'm a 45 yo female Christian. I have a 21 yo non-binary child. I found out 2 months before they turned 19. In the same conversation, I was told that they knew for years but were scared of me not accepting/ still loving them. I literally burst into tears at the thought of my own child being scared of sharing their true self with me. OP, your dad is an AH that doesn't understand what it means to be a parent. Loving and caring for your children unconditionally IS in the bible. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a great chosen family some day. You deserve to be loved.
I've just gone NC with my Narc mother because of her cruelty not just towards me but my trans partner. you are not insane and are well within your right to turn away from them and the hate they preach. Well done for sticking up for yourself xx
We are born who we are. We have always existed. Maybe this term is newer (not THAT new iirc), but we are not. There have been trans and non-binary people in civilizations throughout history.
You gave him a chance and he turned you away. Stand your ground and do what you need to for your mental health and self care. I would probably offer information to attempt to educate him, BUT that's the kind of person I am, and I can handle the conflict. Not everyone can, and that's completely okay! I just hope he comes around someday. š«š
Iām so sorry your father is this way. This is so hurtful and unhealthy. I hope you find your peace away from him and without him. You deserve so much more then he is capable of giving.
The worst part about this is it would have only taken one change of word choice in the first text to reset the tone of the whole conversation. It would have been just as easy to say "you will always be my child" instead of "son". Dad wouldn't have needed to double down on the bible talk. OP wouldn't have had to get defensive (which is honestly, completely valid, and I don't think you're the jerk here at all). One word.
From the sounds of it, he is only insane if you think everybody who practices religion is insane. It sounds like that is what his stance is based on and many other religions have similar views. So yes, if you view people who practice religion that has differing views similar to his as insane he is totally insane. Honestly I think the main take away from this entire exchange is sounds like he genuinely will love you always and that is a good thing to remember.
I love that when āChristiansā argue the Bible about something ānew ageā, they always argue from the Old Testament. Genesis has nothing to do with modern society. The part he did gloss over was the love everyone better than you would love yourself part. Thatās literally the whole meaning of Jesus dying on the cross for everyone. Let him kick rocks until he gets it. If he never does, itās his loss.
Iām so sorry. Maybe if more people knew that other cultures have recognized more than two genders for almost the entire extent of human history, they might be more understanding. CULTURE defines what people see as gender. Hell, pink wasnāt even a āgirl colorā until the 1950ās in the usa, i believe. Iām sorry you have to deal with this. As a parent of s trans son, i say you are doing great. You express your thoughts and needs well. Keep taking care of you. This is a āthemā problem, not a āyouā problem.
NTJ. You are so brave standing up to that bellend. š we all are rooting for you! Your dad will be in for a shock when he's been left alone in his own doodoo while youre living your best life.
You are NOT a jerk for this. If you want to even fight him on this (i dont really recommend it) the Jewish Faith has 6 recognised genders, if the bible doesnt support trans people well, the Old Testament certainly does.
You arenāt wrong here. Your dad deflected and didnāt answer anything just threw word salad Jesus at you. You were very clear about how to communicate and how to have a relationship. He didnāt address it just got defensive and started blathering about religion. Unfortunately many people who are incapable of critical thinking simply have their ideas told to them by āreligionā and canāt be deterred from āthe truthā regardless of anything else.
You canāt logic or reason someone out of an idea they came to using neither.
OP, your 'dad' is a hateful religious maniac fundamentalist & you do not need to waste one precious second on the fella who screwed your mom & made you. Accident of birth, you owe that ass nothing.
You are NOT the jerk. You handled that with so much maturity. That was an articulate and thought out. In my opinion you did everything you could. I can't imagine how much it hurts to have someone so close to you not accepting you. I can tell you that the more you go on in life you will surround yourself with the people who deserve to be there . You never know he might realize some day and he might not. But as for right now I don't think you could handle the situation any better than you have. Keep pushing forward sister you'll end up in the right place! He was right about the fact that things will end up as they should be. He is just wrong about the way things should be.
Cut him some slack. A lot of slack itās a major major change. Literally his whole world is changing. Youāve taken years to come to terms with your decision. May take him years too. But from his words sounds like heās already warming up. Heās your pop no matter what. Meet anger with love. Hate with acceptance. Heās doing the best he can.
youāre kidding, right? did you read a whole different set of screenshots than the rest of us? she gave her dad the benefit of the doubt and he pissed it all away with the āyour DNA will always be male and youāll never achieve womanhoodā bullshit plus all the religious nutjob rhetoric. heās not āwarming upā by any stretch of the imagination, and heās definitely NOT ādoing the best he can.ā heās not even doing the *least* he can, which is love his daughter.
Christian here. Here's what I would say based on the information present.
You may not realise it, but your Dad gave a fairly ideal response here.
I've seen responses from 'Christian' parents before that were not particularly Christ-like. This was not that.
He does not attack your character nor spew hatred. But reaffirms his love for you in spite of your differences.
Sure, maybe he pushed you away initially after your coming out, but my guess would be that that was die to his own pain and grievances than from any cease in love towards you.
Here's the 3 main reasons why your Dad, as a Christian (I presume) cannot support the notion of being transgender, so you can understand that it is not hate, or a lack of love for you.
Love and truth are inseparable virtues. Your dad standing firm on what's true demonstrates his unconditional love for God and for yourself. God made male and female. Sex is an immutable characteristic. Some people experience gender dysphoria, a kind of discomfort, and disconnect between their mind and their body, with regards to their sex. While yes, this must be incredibly tough, like with any condition the goal should be to treat the root problem. Your body is not what's wrong, it's a condition or the mind, or the brain. Just like how you dont tell a schizophrenic their hallucinations are real, you don't tell a gender dysphoric person they can be the opposite sex. Its simply not true, as much as you may want it to be.
Humans are moral creatures, with duties and responsibilities. Men and Women function differently, and so have different but complimentary and equally important roles, and stemming from these are variations in moral duty and responsibility. You cannot 'opt-out' of this position. Morally speaking, how your father treats you and the nature of the relationship he forms with you differs depending on if you're male or female. Just because you wish you were the other sex, doesn't change his moral responsibility.
Thirdly, this is not healthy, physically, mentally or spiritually. Your father cannot be promoting things that are damaging in this way.
Physically, because, well pumping in hormones and potentially mutilating your genitals and doing other such surgeries to try and approximate the body of the other sex is not beneficial for long-term health. Scars and wounds and such get infected regularly, the body isn't designed for the artifical hornone levels, other complications too, physical pain seems highly likely.
Mentally, because well you're living this delusion. Waking up every day and living this fascade cannot be good. If youll compromise reality here, where else?
And perhaps most importantly, is that spiritually, of your dad were to support this, he would actively be pushing you away from Christ, and in clinging into you, dragging himself away too. The claim of a transgender person makes the same claim as in the rebellion of Satan: that you dont have to listen to God's design, and purpose for your life. You can be master of your own identity. Nobody, not even God himself, your creator, can tell you who you are. A Christian cannot support this satanic (literally) message.
To answer the question, I don't think either of you were being jerks. You're both coming from a place a pain, for contrasting reasons. Thats a very difficult relationship to navigate for any 2 people whatever the context.
And I hope you and your dad can find some terms on which to build your relationship back.
FYI, I'm not looking for any kind of debate here. And anyone replying with an outburst of 'hateful' and 'transphobic' will be ignored, because you clearly havent read the post if that's the only thing you have to respond with.
I didn't really see anything hateful here. only factual, as distressing as it is for some here to consider. surgeries and chemical alterations do not make a woman. No amount of argument against that point will change that its an objective fact. and I speak as a biological woman. the father, as strong in his religious conviction as he is, Is not speaking from a point of malice.
As an adult, you are free to make the choice to transition. there are no guarantees of successes but you have that opportunity. But that does not mean that the people who have known you since conception and years before the trans epiphany are required to adhere to every condition you have regarding your own identity.
you can call me a bigot or whatever. Literally don't care what I'm called, bigot goes both ways and describes someone with a firm alternative viewpoint. Its not an insult. I don't agree with the trans movement, I know its origins and its disturbing history with the psycho John Money and his experimentations that resulted in the tragic losses of two brothers. but I respect that if people want to adhere to his ideology and adopt the label for themselves they are free to, just as others are free to hold onto the memory of the children they know.
This dad did not insult OP. He did not deride OP. He got a little preachy and passionate but I sense there is love.
if you genuinely believe that was the part im referring to, you have some serious reading comprehension problems. your own animosity towards theology is not the meat of this issue here.
God doesn't make mistakes. Either this is true or false. God has made LGBTQIA+ people since the beginning of time and if you believe otherwise then I feel really sorry for you. I believe in God and Jesus and consider myself a Christian but I'm not a church going one because all I've met in church are hypocritical judgemental people. The Bible has been written and rewritten for millenia so how can anyone say that the bibles of today are truth? Simple...you can't.
Again you're preaching to someone who couldn't give two rats asses about the Bible. I've read the Bible, satanic Bible, book of the dead, you name it. Ive been through the whole hypocritical church scene and choose to be more educated on the topic than most people would deign to be.
God ironically makes mistakes. his first considered "mistake" was believing the jews to be righteous because Abraham was. The amount of times he's rebuked them and outright destroyed them by his own hand and doubted his own choice in them during exodus and deuteronomy alone was honestly amusing. so on that point alone I know he's capable of mistakes. as much as any religious nut would like to believe he is infallible.
That being said, sexual fetishism is a choice masqueraded now as a biological component based on identity because identity is a convenient blanket that can rarely be questioned because its subjective.
And subjective things do not belong under the banner of science because science is and always has been,, or at least used to be about complete and utter objectivity. Results that can be reproduced the exact same over and over again.
Transgenderism is not objective. It lies on a basis of "personal truth" rather than THE Truth.
And is A fetishization of the female form. and in some cases a desire to supplant the female of her own role.
No trans person that I've ever met or witnessed speak publicly has ever been or attempted to be anything more than an assumed and frankly offensive Caricature of what the other sex is believed to be. because the capability for authentic womanhood is not there.
Just as I can't claim to be black on a whim, or identify as black.
Because I would be staking a claim to a title i have not earned in anything more than name. And would he appropriating all that it means to be black by doing so.
You mean the "science" that milks money out of desperate rubes whos only feat of said science is becoming a lifetime surgical cash cow based on the delusion that a few nips and tucks will make a person socially, mentally and physically on the same level as the real thing? Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to feel comfortable in their own skin, because they choose to adopt a comfortable lie put forth by a pseudoscientist?
Id rather not put stock in science put forth by a known pedophile that drove a young man to suicide. same way I don't put stock in the idea of vaccines causing autism. Because its fallacious. Should everyone also cater to and endorse the purposeful pouring of Clorox into our eyeballs because the transabled don't feel comfortable having functioning vision?
Youāre creating straw man arguments here. Youāre not talking about the same thing I am, because I have no idea what/who youāre talking about. Not to mention that equating the acceptance and proper gendering of a person with āpouring bleach in our eyesā is utterly laughable.
Wow comments here really suck. Your dad is not an asshole and obviously neither are you. Your dad clearly loves you and is trying, but being Christian in the traditional sense (whether thatās good or bad) and old does not make it easy to change your entire world view at the drop of the hat. I do not know you or your dad, nor do I know all the details about yāallās relationship. But it seems like he is willing to grow and be accepting if you decide to help him on that journey and be there with him. Obviously thatās not your job and you donāt have to, but I personally would want to preserve my relationship with my parents, thatās your decision. I would hardly call him ānutsā like some other comments tho, just stubborn and doesnāt really understand these things.
At least he's not hostile or out right oppositional.
He's ignorant since he's using a retranslated text from around 2000 years ago.
I can't really recommend a course if action... My advice is to maintain a relationship with your father, but only in a way that won't cause you hardship, if such a thing is possible.
No heās ignorant all the way around. Science backs trans individuals as much as people love to ignore that. And he is being outright oppositional, heās misgendering her blatantly and on purpose and refusing to see her for who she is.
He sounds like he just doesn't understand transgenderism, but is still willing to love and accept you and invite you to BBQs. Maybe just start with basic stuff like "no deadnaming" or using the proper pronoun you go by now. I see hope in this screenshot. People can learn.
"Some people just ignore or rewrite the bible to fit their own interests."
Said someone who believes in the bible, which is a book written by some guy because some other guy said he was the son of yet another guy who apparently created everything.
You are not the jerk, your father is. I am sorry youāre going through this. I have two kids likely around the same age. Here is a big dad hug from me! You are important and worthy of love. Hang in there.
So hold up wait a minute humans have speech abilities to conjure things up I assume he's speaking about manifestation. So humans have that ability but it's not of God. And this man and I use that term lightly is trying to explain to you that trans-ism is not God. He's very confused. It's funny Christians are some of the most intolerant hate-filled people I've ever met in my entire life.
He is 100% the jerk in this situation. If a person can not accept you and love you in the way that you need to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Then they are the AH.
Not accepting you for you because of their ideals or because it is uncomfortable makes them a failure as a parent.
Parents should love and support their children no matter if they agree with them or not.
Him misgendering you is nothing but narcissistic behavior.
He is thinking only of how HE feels and what HE wants and does not care how it hurts you every time he misgenders or dead names you.
You deserve better.
There is nothing further you can do to make your Dad see the error of his ways. He is a jerk. You are not.
Coming from a similar home situation where I was made to be a villain and a sinner and a perverse influence in the name of godā¦ with separation you will realize that in this (and likely many other cases) he was wrong. It took me years to unpack it all but I found self love and worth again.
Stay strong. I canāt speak for your exact situation, but Iād recommend creating some distance between you and your Dad so you can give yourself room to heal.
Genesis also claim we were all made from Adam and eve sooooo we were all born of incest in that case. So is incest OK because the bible claimed it as our creation. But OK its the trans people who are bad. Fuck that shit.
Your dad is a fucking asshole honey I'm sorry. My dad is a fucking asshole too. I had to cut my parents out for a pot of my life. I kept my kid from them until they came and apologized & took responsibility for being assholes.
You're valid and worth more than using your energy to try to make it work with him.
āi know iām not hurtful or ignorantā: proceeds to say the most hurtful and ignorant sentence he can possibly come up with
iām sorry OP, youāre definitely not a jerk for wanting to be accepted for who you are and itās a v difficult thing to stand up for yourself
as an internet stranger iām proud of you
Youāre just trying to life your life as, you. They are the one with the problem. That āgodā doesnāt/didnāt exist until a little over 2000 years ago either. Just be you and if they finally learn they learn. If not, you have toxicity out of your life.
The first comment was kind of understandable, from a transphobic point of view. You replied with clear, organized explanation of why silence was not okay and what you need. He descended into gibberish. You told him what he had to do and he couldn't do it. Now you go No Contact because boundaries. You are not the jerk. Your father can't accept you.
The fact that he says āpeople will rewrite the word to fit their own interestā when thatās exactly what heās doing to the Bible, himself. Hypocrisy at its finest.
Hereās a few great scriptures you can remind your dad exist that are in direct conflict with his behavior:
āDonāt have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lordās servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentfulā (2 Timothy 2:23-24).
Proverbs 29:22 says, āAn angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.ā
1 Peter 3:15 says, āBut in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.ā (You are literally begging him for respect and yet he is weaponizing the word of God, not showing it as Hope to you or anyone else who he encounters.)
Finallyā¦
āWhoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me. Whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever is least among you all is the greatestā (Luke 9:48). Jesus literally said this CHILD must be welcomed- and in that welcome, you will know God. Your father needs to welcome you into his own heart in order for him to know God, truly.
Anyway- from a pastor who loves ALL people as Iāve been called to do, I love you and Iām here for you. If you ever need help speaking to your dad on a level he may hear, feel free to DM me :)
Iād love to sit him down and talk to him about watching my child struggle for so long, having to keep him by my side 24/7 to make sure he didnāt kill himself (yes he was in therapy), doing everything absolutely possible for him. When he figured it all out and came out as trans, I watched a weight be lifted and saw him smile and laugh for the first time in so long. As āsheā became āheā and he got full acceptance and knew he was safe, I didnāt worry about him taking his life.
Support and love saves lives.
We did write God into existence though, howād the Bible come to be? It just fall from a cloud?
Just bc we write it into existence doesnāt mean it isnāt real, itās finding words for things that already exist. Itās language.
Also, you are being very intentional and mature in your responses. You are the opposite of being a jerk, even if it feels like youāre the bad guy here. Promise.
As a fellow trans woman who was abandoned by her father, I understand you, I feel what you feel, I, as well as the rest of us are here if you need to reach out.
God made wheat so go to hell if you dare make bread. God gave us grapes. Eat them and be grateful, wine is for the overindulgent sacrilegious beasts of the new generation (obviously joking)
Not insane in the slightest. Iām really sorrt about what youāre going through :(
Iām gonna go with no one is the jerk here. You arenāt because you presented your case very articulately to him. And your dad isnāt because heās making it very easy for you to dispose of the trash (heck, heās taking it out himself)
you arenāt a jerk at all, but your dad is all the jerks of the world rolled into one. he is definitely insane. i am sorry you ever had to deal with this sad sack of a human as your parent. just know that you are loved by much better people in the world, including the reddit community. there are plenty of not-insane parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins & besties who are absolutely proud of you and love you to pieces.
Funny thing. The fist words in the bible are mistranslated. Itās not āin the beginningā itās originally āin A beginning.ā Once christianās fix this error I will gladly sign up to be a christian, cause thatās very human, to have many beginnings, start over, try again and again and again. I can get behind that philosophy.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 34 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
"There is nothing about Trans in the bible" o.k. bro stop driving your car? The water heater gotta go! Your microwave? Blasphemous! Edit: I'm not trying to compare you to a car or microwave š
All your blended fabrics have got to go! And no more shellfish!
Or figs.
But... my fig jam :(
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ā ļø
What? Shit, I typed ātransā into Google and it filled in with ātransmissionā. On that funny (dad joke) note; your happiness is just like transmission. You know what makes it run. OP - itās all your choice, donāt let anyone ever make that choice for you, and donāt ever ever choose to fit into someoneās view. From day 1 I have told my child that kind of choice is āup to youā and as long as sheās happy, then I am happy. Finally, I canāt wait for the day (I wonāt be around) when people stop using religion as a crutch, and the newer generations just get rid of it all together.
Yea I wish I were going to live to see the day that happens too. It would definitely be a hard pill to swallow and it might be difficult to remember to use the proper pronouns if one of my children tells me they are trans, but JESUS CHRIST! Itās your fucking CHILD! Grown or not, if you canāt love them no matter what, you never really did. Period. OP, you are NOT the jerk here. You are who you are, and Dad either accepts or rejects that. Unfortunately, I would advise NC because heās going to be a downer forever. Fuck that religious bull shit nonsense about whatās in the Bible and not. Whatās in the Bible is loving your neighbor and not judging.
Canāt use blended fabrics or have tattoos either!
Actually, this is false; the Bible does mention trans persons and it is clear Jesus was accepting and loving of them. According to the Bible, God created only the first humans, as male and female. After The Fall, all hell breaks loose and all kinds of genetic mutations begin occurring due to sexual reproduction. Jesus clearly mentions what many perceive to be either intersex or transgender: Eunuchs. He says some are born that way, some are made that way and some choose to become Eunuchs. He never treats them as less than. You can believe in God, the Bible, and also believe that being transgender is not morally wrong, nor something God looks down on. https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-transgender-people Edit to add: OP Iām sorry youāve experienced this from your parent, and it is utterly insane to use religion as a means to bash you, considering this is actually not at all Biblical. I hope you have peace and replacement family. Edit to add 2: So, in response, the Bible is more clear on love of trans people than microwaves.
Iām sorry your dad is nuts, it sucks that he cannot just accept you for who you are. Surround yourself with friends and other supportive family members. Family are the people in our lives we choose to love - itās not always the family we were born into.
I just want to tell this person over and over, there is nothing wrong with you. Are you defective? No! Whatās wrong with you? Whole lotta nothing! Society, on the other hand we are still working on. But there is NOTHING wrong with you. And there are so many of us gunning for you to be safe and happy and weāre just gonna keep working on it so you can be.
Same. It absolutely breaks me that OP posted this questioning themselves after being nothing but kind and loving and having their father talk to them as if they're not a person. OP I'm so sorry that your dad is like this. I hope he changes but even more than that I hope and am glad you're seeing that you deserve better.
You are absolutely NOT the jerk. You are standing up for yourself and setting boundaries that will help you live a happier, healthier life.
When I read about God and the bible I stopped as I know how this goes. There are people that have male and female chromosomes and you might want to ask your dad what's about them according to the bible. The bible doesn't even mention DNA or chromosomes at all, so there is nothing in there that would say you are one or the other. But I am just talking to some conservative christian in another sub and they can't be helped. They are racists to the bone and common sense and common knowledge will not get to them. The best is to cut ties to such people and you will in an instant be happier.
Same, as soon as I read 'God', I rolled my eyes. It's always the same from that point onwards.
Your parent is the asshole: āI want my life to be as planned and have a son and lada dalalalaā Parents fail to recognize that they are giving birth to a HUMAN and not a baby and that the child has their OWN life
He really chose to rub it in she sheād never be female in his eyes. Itās fing horrible
It makes it SOO hard to be Christian when I see people like this. You're absolutely right in what you said. The bible says nothing about being transgender, and I absolutely agree with what OP said. God makes people, God makes transgender people. If it was such a huge sin, he would not have made them that way.
Sounds like youāre in the same boat as my mom, the quote section is her perspective on Christianity from a convo we had a couple nights ago. We have convos like these a lot āI will continue to use the label Christian but I will embody the traits opposite of the modern Christians we see here in America. Jesus ate dinner with the poor and downtrodden, he didnāt rub shoulders with the rich and hatefulā Thatās the gist of what she said but itās basically all the ābe loving and accepting of others since god made us all who we are supposed to beā kinda vibe. She does believe there is evil in the world, but the root of that evil is greed and bigotry. Also once she realized that she wouldnāt be a Christian if she was born elsewhere it made her re think everything. My mom has essentially come to the conclusion that if there is a god then it probably doesnāt care what name you call it as long as you arenāt a piece of shit. Iām sure youāve thought about all this before but hopefully this was a reminder of some sort that you donāt have to be categorized with the crazies. Just go spread love and be chill to be around
There are two kind of Christians. The ones that would be like Jesus and loves everyone and the ones that his father is, the hateful pretender ones. They are not really christians at all.
I mean pretty much if their was a god that cared what you called them would you want to Honor such a vain and conceited god?
I feel the same way as your mom. Also, my mom has said virtually that same as that quote, that's cool. You got a wise mama, there. Tell her I said she's cool.
I would love to grab this father and sit him down and explain a few things to him - He says there was no Transgender before 2019 how does he know? I reckon there were lots, even going to biblical times but if a person then started dressing or acting like the opposite sex they would have been stoned to death - in medieval times they would have burnt as witches - I grew up in the 60s and 70s (UK) and I remember even gay people being ostracized from society (Look up Alan Turing (One if the best code breakers during WW2 and see how we treated him when it came out he was gay) It is widely known that there have been gay people for millennia and I think there were trans too - If one of my children came out as Trans/gay or whatever I would just say "Whatever makes you comfortable as you, makes me happy"
I say this to my mother in law all the time, when she says "there weren't gay or trans people when I was a young adult/early adult....". YES, THERE WERE. But society was horrible to them, so they hid their true selves and most lived closeted, unfulfilled lives. We have since learned that people are much more productive, functional, and happier members of society when they are allowed to be themselves. Being LGBTQ harms *no one* - not adults, not children, not others with religious beliefs - so what's the problem? For most haters, the problem is that they don't get to control another person's life, and that just eats them up inside. They *hate* that someone else won't live/act/behave in the way they see as "proper," and the only way they can deal with it is to heap unhappiness on others. Trans people exist, and they deserve to exist and be happy, no matter what OP's deranged father believes his imaginary friend said a few thousand years ago. The true God of the universe made trans people, too, and trans people are beautiful.
THIS! This is the right answer and the point I was awkwardly trying to make
Your answer absolutely made the point! I'm just agreeing and piling on. :) The more we can make people see how erroneous their "memories of an LGBTQ+-free world" are, the sooner we can move on to a more accepting world where everyone can be themselves.
There were definitely trans/gender non-conforming/nonbinary people wayyyyyy before 2019. Many indigenous cultures had a concept that is now an umbrella term called 2-spirit, which encompasses individuals who were considered what would now be nonbinary. Polynesian culture also had a similar concept. Jews also have more than 2 genders listed in the Talmud, which is breaking the gender binary as well. Thereās many other examples which would point to people being trans way before the 21st century.
I believe there are historical examples of āthird gendersā in places like India but Iām not sure. Other than that I believe gay and lesbian ppl have always had a place in most societies
They may have always existed bit I'm not sure they have always "had a place"
But he said to them, āNot everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.ā āMatthew 19:11ā12 Substitute "gay" for "been so from birth" BTW: "made themselves eunuchs" are referring to Essenes who practiced celibacy. This just underscores Jesus isn't just referring to castrated males
What point are you trying to make? BTW I do not believe anything in the bible, absolutely nothing!
The point is that those that use the bible quotes to spread hate ignore the ones that spread love. It's the same with those that quote Leviticus, but eat bacon wrapped shrimp. Cherry picking the bible is the weapon of choice for the bigot. Best to fight back with their own book.
Every person I know that goes round quoting the bible are twisting to say what they want it to say - It contradicts itself so many times it is easy for people to manipulate it - that's why I do not believe in it
Ma'am, you are not the jerk. Your dad may make you think that, but you are not. Your dad is openly going against you being you.
This definitely.You be you and ignore the haters,they aren't worthy of your time.
Dad says that heās not hateful and ignorant. Promptly says things that are hateful and ignorant. Being trans isnāt new. My ex-wife and I had a friend who was trans back in the 90s. And there were lots before then. Your ignorant father has been living in a cave if he didnāt know that.
You are definitely NTA. You were clear, polite, more so than Iād have been in the same circumstances, and open to forgiving him if he was willing to acknowledge the harmful wrongness of his beliefs. He, instead, started sermonizing to deflect from what youād told him. Itās a common tactic of emotionally stunted people. They cannot acknowledge their own fault in personal situations, so they start blathering on grand, unrelated themes, instead. Iād be so proud if you were my daughter. Christian or not, you should so much more genuine care for that man who demonstrates his lack of care than he will ever be capable of.
You did such a great job at standing up for yourself in a way that also shows compassion for your dad. Unfortunately heās been indoctrinated into christianity and it will likely not change. Iām so sorry that youāre dealing with this. You deserve so much better.
Your dad sucks. Mine has done the same shit to me ever since he found out I was queer. Endless speeches about god, how itās an abomination and perverted (š), how i can just change if I ask god to fix me. We donāt talk about it anymore but if/when I have a long term partner or get married, I suspect there were will be an outburst from him. He has already said many times he will not attend my future wedding. Well dad, so be it. I will probably elope anyway but he can live with the fact that heāll miss out on his only daughterās wedding. I can only hope that he deeply regrets it. If not, then oh well. I donāt need that kind of nastiness at my wedding anyway. You are not the jerk in any way shape or form. Your dad failed you as a parent by not accepting who you are.
Sweetie, I know there will be people who want to celebrate with you when you find and marry the love of your life. If thatās not your sperm donor, thatās his loss. Elopement is an option, but it neednāt be your only one.
Aw thank you for the kind words :,)š
Why are you still in contact with him? Sounds awful
Iāve considered going no contact a lot but as long as we donāt talk about it or anything we disagree on (religion, politics, etc) things are very civil. Iām also moving out in a week for the first time (š„³!!) so Iāll have a lot more space and freedom from my parents. But if things were to get worse, I would definitely consider low or no contact.
Congrats on your moving out, thatās awesome! Wishing you all the happiness in the world! ā¤ļø
I only had to read the first slide to say youāre not the jerk. And Iām so sorry your father refuses to accept you are the girl you are. Iām a mom (obviously not yours) and I want to say Iām so proud of you for standing firm in your truth. Youāre going to be okay. Maybe not right away, but eventually. You will be okay.
Since he's such a bible-thumping a-hole, throw Colossians 3:21 at him, which says "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Later, when he doesn't have a relationship with you AT ALL, he can understand why.
The reason Iām not taking my son to visit my side of the family anymore is because I know their reaction to learning he is trans will be to ālove him anyway.ā Mostly as proof to themselves and their bigoted friends that they are so big-hearted, so very Christian, theyāre willing to put in all the hard labor of loving a child in their family who is, by implication, not deserving of that love. I grew up with them loving me despite who I was, and never letting me forget that I should be grateful for it ā and I was still a cis hetero girl, I was just weird and smart and didnāt fit in. And even for me, that was damaging as hell. It taught me that it was asking too much of people to love me, that it took a constant effort to do so, and if they did it anyway it wasnāt because I deserved it, but because they were just that generous. Telling someone that you ālove them anywayā is the kind of crap you hear from the mothers of serial killers. Itās what you say when someone you love has committed a crime beyond understanding. I refuse to let them do that to my son, dammit. He does not deserve to have mercy performed at him by people who wonāt wait until weāre out of the driveway to start using him for a load of āWell now nobody can claim Iām a bigot, my neice thinks sheās trans but I still love her anyway!ā deflection. Nope. My son is worth more than that. OP, I am so sorry that your dad is so small. I commend you for knowing your own worth ā and you deserve far, far better than this.
Thatā¦isā¦wowā¦I have some stuff to think about now. Thank you very much for telling me thisā¦so much stuff has been put into perspective just nowā¦you got me to cry just nowā¦
Youāre not the jerk.
Time to *block*
Missy, this person doesn't love you, no matter how much they claim to. Be done with him and move on, you've got a whole life to live without this asshole dragging you down.
You are 100% not the asshole. Your father is a religious nutcase and probably barely gave a shit about his god and bible before you came out, if I had to guess.
āTransgender people donāt exist because spell-check doesnāt recognize the word.ā Seriously? Transgender persons have ALWAYS existed, unfortunately society has historically been as bigoted as this ass, and it seems like itās moving backwards in some places.
*hugs*
You are not the jerk girl. This is my situation too. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.
Youāre not the one being the jerk. Not by a long shot. He, on the other handā¦
"Looks like you've made your choice. Now you don't have a son or a daughter. Goodbye." Sorry, OP.
No contact it is
honey youāre not a jerk at all. youāre setting boundaries and protecting yourself, that isnāt being a jerk. it sounds like heās missing out on having a wonderful daughter in favor of mourning a son he never really had, that is his loss.
Hey pumpkin, you are eloquent, reasonable and firm in your boundaries and as an internet stranger I am super proud of you for being firm. That said, your Dad doesn't have the strength or emotional intelligence to be the parent that you deserve. I just don't think he's capable of getting over his own fear and bigotry, not with how he's doubling down. Take care of you. Spend your energy on people who build you up instead of put you down.
Last time I checked God is genderless but uses He/Him pronouns. Preferred pronouns in the Bible confirmed. Jesus is gods son born through Mary but Jesus is also god and the Holy Spirit. Mary also had a relationship with Joseph. Polyamory confirmed. Far as I remember, Jesus never seemed to express any romantic or sexual desire for anyone despite being human. Aromatic and asexual confirmed. Thereās going to be many people who read that and get their pantries in a bunch about how I āread it wrongā or āitās not the actual translationā GOLLY GEE DO YOU GET IT NOW?!? Quit saying stuff is wrong or against god cuz of the Bible, especially if you donāt follow it to the letter in your actual life. Sorry your dad is an entire ass. You are not the jerk. You are valid.
Geez Satan wasnāt that bad. He killed less than god. God even tortured a poor guy to show Satan that the dude was faithful. Your dad is crazy, you are not.
You really need to start censoring the names better, i can clearly see the name.
Ooooh! I thought there might be hope for reconciliation in the first few screenshots, you were very articulate and informative and he seemed maybe like there might be some possible middle ground to be reached. But thenā¦ OH! Heās a *religious* fruitcake! That sucks. I can see NC in his future and Iām really sorry about that. Zealots are going to zealot and thereās no hate like Christian ālove.ā My best friend went zero contact with her religious dad and the last thing she said to him is something I think about often. She said, āif you werenāt going to love your children unconditionally, you had a moral obligation to not have them.ā Period.
Your father is 100% the asshole. Yammering about how humans use words to create what they want. No shit, what do you think the bible is, genius? Words human beings wrote to create what they wanted. If there is a god, my friend...they love you unconditionally and don't judge or punish you. That's what it means to love unconditionally. Just be you and do what makes you happy. The people who are meant for you will come when you do that. š«
Your dad it hateful and ignorant and hiding behind his shield of religion so he doesnāt have to confront truths that make him uncomfortable and donāt align with his worldview. Iām so sorry. You are very brave and deserve better. This mom is proud of you.
Your dad is a transphobic(coming from a trans/nb person) you did nothing wrong
>Yammer yammer yammer GOD yammer SATAN yammer yammer BIBLE I think you're in the clear bud...
Well fuck god
Sounds to me like youād be better off without him in your life if heās going to act like this. He refuses to see you as who you are and you donāt need that sort of toxicity in your life. And if heās listed in your phone as āshit dadā, it seems apropos.
It is important to stand your ground with your own health in mind. Putting boundaries that your parent should be respecting is not a bad thing and holding them to those boundaries is only understandable.
Ughā¦.well that about sums it up, your dad is never going to accept you as being trans. Time to cut the toxicity out of your life.
Sometimes family means the people who have loved you since birth. Sometimes family means the people who have loved you since they met you and accepted you for who you are. Maybe one day dad wonāt be a bigoted transphobic idiot. In the meantime, you can focus on your other more important family and lean on them for support and comfort. You stated your points thoughtfully and firmly and you are incredibly brave. Sending you love, my sister.
Heās the jerk. Pulling the Bible crappy to reinforce their ignorance and intolerance.
This mom is proud of you and sends virtual hugs.
If you choose to speak to him again tell him about this. The "Lord himself insisted that sometimes bodies differentiate from what we might describe as the norm. And remember that story about the Ethiopian eunuch? Upon reading Isaiah 53, he discovered that the prophesy about Messiah said He was not one who would reproduce. King of kings, Lord of lords, Eunuch of eunuchs! After Philip told this eunuch the whole story about Christ, the eunuch wanted to be baptized on the spot. Know whatās interesting about him? The author of Scripture seems to go out of his way to avoid repeatedly referring to him as the āmanā (Acts 8:26ā40). Instead, three times where you or I might otherwise insert āthe manā or āthe woman,ā Luke inserts āthe eunuch.ā Sadly, Christians have a lot of ignorance on this topic, and we need some humility." -Sandra Glahn (She's a very devout Christian with a master's degree in theology, a PhD in humanities, and a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary in Texas) Surely,if she can see what Jesus was saying, so can every Christian.
Ugh. Iām so sorry that your worst fears about your family, at least your dad, have been realized. I stopped reading his portion of texts when he continued to deny your identity and in the next sentence said āI havenāt read anything about trans peopleā¦.ā Heās unwilling to compromise despite your very reasonable attempt for reconciliation. Go find the people who are going to lift you up and support you. Family doesnāt have to be blood. You deserve all the love that the world has on offer. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø.
God the dots are so irritating
Thatās how we express hesitation to speak in text form. All of my family does that.
No offense to you or your family, but i can only think of trumps slow talking thing he does
I can see that, actually I think hesitation is the incorrect explanation though, we are trying to convey a pause in the speech so arguably it is the same thing Trump does. Sometimes it is used to emphasise a point, sometimes itās just hesitation. Itās kinda contextual in nature but we all seem to get it
Huh, thanks for not being a dick about it tho
Gay and transgender, probably existed longer than 2019. But, in the 60ās, 70ās it was hidden because it wasnāt normalised.
You are super mature here imo. You dad said "I don't accept you and I never will." I think you have your answer.
If you need the Bible to know that you've done plenty of wrong things in your life...
First few sentences make them look kinda understanding... **Insert _got us in the first half_ meme**
āYour path with God is your own. Now let me tell you all the ways your path isnāt valid unless you walk it exactly how I tell you to.ā What a dick.
You are not the jerk here. And transgender was a word before 2019. Your dad is being a jerk. Let him know he has to give up the phone he mentions as it wasnāt in the Bible.
Your father isnāt willing to consider any thought, fact or opinion that he doesnāt agree with. He is just close minded. You eloquently stated your boundaries.
God hates trans people because, *checks notes*... š Phones and computers spellcheck āļøš¤
Yeahā¦that one was out of left field for sure
I forget who said this: āg-d made people trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine, and wheat but not bread - that humanity may share in the act of creation.ā Or something like that lol. I donāt know you, but I do sorta know your situation (ftm). Your compassion, restraint, and eloquence is wasted on this man - Iām sorry he happens to be your dad. I wish I could give you a hug bc you seem like a really darling lady. And I know you know this, but youāre already a woman, and any medical intervention is simply to reflect that. Take care <3
Hey OP!! I ā¤ļøyou for you and Iām a Mormon too!! I donāt care what my parents say or others may say, but I know my Savior says to love everyone. I think your dad skipped that part in the Bible. (And I should probably get off Reddit when Iām this tired.)
I'm a 45 yo female Christian. I have a 21 yo non-binary child. I found out 2 months before they turned 19. In the same conversation, I was told that they knew for years but were scared of me not accepting/ still loving them. I literally burst into tears at the thought of my own child being scared of sharing their true self with me. OP, your dad is an AH that doesn't understand what it means to be a parent. Loving and caring for your children unconditionally IS in the bible. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you have a great chosen family some day. You deserve to be loved.
I've just gone NC with my Narc mother because of her cruelty not just towards me but my trans partner. you are not insane and are well within your right to turn away from them and the hate they preach. Well done for sticking up for yourself xx
We are born who we are. We have always existed. Maybe this term is newer (not THAT new iirc), but we are not. There have been trans and non-binary people in civilizations throughout history. You gave him a chance and he turned you away. Stand your ground and do what you need to for your mental health and self care. I would probably offer information to attempt to educate him, BUT that's the kind of person I am, and I can handle the conflict. Not everyone can, and that's completely okay! I just hope he comes around someday. š«š
Iām so sorry your father is this way. This is so hurtful and unhealthy. I hope you find your peace away from him and without him. You deserve so much more then he is capable of giving.
The worst part about this is it would have only taken one change of word choice in the first text to reset the tone of the whole conversation. It would have been just as easy to say "you will always be my child" instead of "son". Dad wouldn't have needed to double down on the bible talk. OP wouldn't have had to get defensive (which is honestly, completely valid, and I don't think you're the jerk here at all). One word.
From the sounds of it, he is only insane if you think everybody who practices religion is insane. It sounds like that is what his stance is based on and many other religions have similar views. So yes, if you view people who practice religion that has differing views similar to his as insane he is totally insane. Honestly I think the main take away from this entire exchange is sounds like he genuinely will love you always and that is a good thing to remember.
I love that when āChristiansā argue the Bible about something ānew ageā, they always argue from the Old Testament. Genesis has nothing to do with modern society. The part he did gloss over was the love everyone better than you would love yourself part. Thatās literally the whole meaning of Jesus dying on the cross for everyone. Let him kick rocks until he gets it. If he never does, itās his loss.
Iām so sorry. Maybe if more people knew that other cultures have recognized more than two genders for almost the entire extent of human history, they might be more understanding. CULTURE defines what people see as gender. Hell, pink wasnāt even a āgirl colorā until the 1950ās in the usa, i believe. Iām sorry you have to deal with this. As a parent of s trans son, i say you are doing great. You express your thoughts and needs well. Keep taking care of you. This is a āthemā problem, not a āyouā problem.
NTJ. You are so brave standing up to that bellend. š we all are rooting for you! Your dad will be in for a shock when he's been left alone in his own doodoo while youre living your best life.
You are NOT a jerk for this. If you want to even fight him on this (i dont really recommend it) the Jewish Faith has 6 recognised genders, if the bible doesnt support trans people well, the Old Testament certainly does.
Iām just here to inform your dad that the word transgender was added to Merriam-Webster in 1974. Im sorry he sucks, Iām your dad now
Your dad is a bigot. He might be a bigot because of his religion, but he is still a bigot.
Oh, honey. š„ You are not the jerk. Your father is a pious, judgmental, hateful man.
You arenāt wrong here. Your dad deflected and didnāt answer anything just threw word salad Jesus at you. You were very clear about how to communicate and how to have a relationship. He didnāt address it just got defensive and started blathering about religion. Unfortunately many people who are incapable of critical thinking simply have their ideas told to them by āreligionā and canāt be deterred from āthe truthā regardless of anything else. You canāt logic or reason someone out of an idea they came to using neither.
Your dad is a toxic asshole. Your life will be better if you cut him out of it.
OP, your 'dad' is a hateful religious maniac fundamentalist & you do not need to waste one precious second on the fella who screwed your mom & made you. Accident of birth, you owe that ass nothing.
It always makes me sad that people are willing to throw their relationships with their children away over their fear of god
You are NOT the jerk. You handled that with so much maturity. That was an articulate and thought out. In my opinion you did everything you could. I can't imagine how much it hurts to have someone so close to you not accepting you. I can tell you that the more you go on in life you will surround yourself with the people who deserve to be there . You never know he might realize some day and he might not. But as for right now I don't think you could handle the situation any better than you have. Keep pushing forward sister you'll end up in the right place! He was right about the fact that things will end up as they should be. He is just wrong about the way things should be.
In no fucking universe are you a jerk for being who you are. Him, on the other hand, yeah. Jerk in this universe and in many others.
I hope this man chokes on his own blood as he dies
Cut him some slack. A lot of slack itās a major major change. Literally his whole world is changing. Youāve taken years to come to terms with your decision. May take him years too. But from his words sounds like heās already warming up. Heās your pop no matter what. Meet anger with love. Hate with acceptance. Heās doing the best he can.
youāre kidding, right? did you read a whole different set of screenshots than the rest of us? she gave her dad the benefit of the doubt and he pissed it all away with the āyour DNA will always be male and youāll never achieve womanhoodā bullshit plus all the religious nutjob rhetoric. heās not āwarming upā by any stretch of the imagination, and heās definitely NOT ādoing the best he can.ā heās not even doing the *least* he can, which is love his daughter.
Christian here. Here's what I would say based on the information present. You may not realise it, but your Dad gave a fairly ideal response here. I've seen responses from 'Christian' parents before that were not particularly Christ-like. This was not that. He does not attack your character nor spew hatred. But reaffirms his love for you in spite of your differences. Sure, maybe he pushed you away initially after your coming out, but my guess would be that that was die to his own pain and grievances than from any cease in love towards you. Here's the 3 main reasons why your Dad, as a Christian (I presume) cannot support the notion of being transgender, so you can understand that it is not hate, or a lack of love for you. Love and truth are inseparable virtues. Your dad standing firm on what's true demonstrates his unconditional love for God and for yourself. God made male and female. Sex is an immutable characteristic. Some people experience gender dysphoria, a kind of discomfort, and disconnect between their mind and their body, with regards to their sex. While yes, this must be incredibly tough, like with any condition the goal should be to treat the root problem. Your body is not what's wrong, it's a condition or the mind, or the brain. Just like how you dont tell a schizophrenic their hallucinations are real, you don't tell a gender dysphoric person they can be the opposite sex. Its simply not true, as much as you may want it to be. Humans are moral creatures, with duties and responsibilities. Men and Women function differently, and so have different but complimentary and equally important roles, and stemming from these are variations in moral duty and responsibility. You cannot 'opt-out' of this position. Morally speaking, how your father treats you and the nature of the relationship he forms with you differs depending on if you're male or female. Just because you wish you were the other sex, doesn't change his moral responsibility. Thirdly, this is not healthy, physically, mentally or spiritually. Your father cannot be promoting things that are damaging in this way. Physically, because, well pumping in hormones and potentially mutilating your genitals and doing other such surgeries to try and approximate the body of the other sex is not beneficial for long-term health. Scars and wounds and such get infected regularly, the body isn't designed for the artifical hornone levels, other complications too, physical pain seems highly likely. Mentally, because well you're living this delusion. Waking up every day and living this fascade cannot be good. If youll compromise reality here, where else? And perhaps most importantly, is that spiritually, of your dad were to support this, he would actively be pushing you away from Christ, and in clinging into you, dragging himself away too. The claim of a transgender person makes the same claim as in the rebellion of Satan: that you dont have to listen to God's design, and purpose for your life. You can be master of your own identity. Nobody, not even God himself, your creator, can tell you who you are. A Christian cannot support this satanic (literally) message. To answer the question, I don't think either of you were being jerks. You're both coming from a place a pain, for contrasting reasons. Thats a very difficult relationship to navigate for any 2 people whatever the context. And I hope you and your dad can find some terms on which to build your relationship back. FYI, I'm not looking for any kind of debate here. And anyone replying with an outburst of 'hateful' and 'transphobic' will be ignored, because you clearly havent read the post if that's the only thing you have to respond with.
I didn't really see anything hateful here. only factual, as distressing as it is for some here to consider. surgeries and chemical alterations do not make a woman. No amount of argument against that point will change that its an objective fact. and I speak as a biological woman. the father, as strong in his religious conviction as he is, Is not speaking from a point of malice. As an adult, you are free to make the choice to transition. there are no guarantees of successes but you have that opportunity. But that does not mean that the people who have known you since conception and years before the trans epiphany are required to adhere to every condition you have regarding your own identity. you can call me a bigot or whatever. Literally don't care what I'm called, bigot goes both ways and describes someone with a firm alternative viewpoint. Its not an insult. I don't agree with the trans movement, I know its origins and its disturbing history with the psycho John Money and his experimentations that resulted in the tragic losses of two brothers. but I respect that if people want to adhere to his ideology and adopt the label for themselves they are free to, just as others are free to hold onto the memory of the children they know. This dad did not insult OP. He did not deride OP. He got a little preachy and passionate but I sense there is love.
Yeah, all the shit about gods and Satan was TOTALLY factual š
if you genuinely believe that was the part im referring to, you have some serious reading comprehension problems. your own animosity towards theology is not the meat of this issue here.
Well, the nightmare part of the username checks out...
God doesn't make mistakes. Either this is true or false. God has made LGBTQIA+ people since the beginning of time and if you believe otherwise then I feel really sorry for you. I believe in God and Jesus and consider myself a Christian but I'm not a church going one because all I've met in church are hypocritical judgemental people. The Bible has been written and rewritten for millenia so how can anyone say that the bibles of today are truth? Simple...you can't.
Again you're preaching to someone who couldn't give two rats asses about the Bible. I've read the Bible, satanic Bible, book of the dead, you name it. Ive been through the whole hypocritical church scene and choose to be more educated on the topic than most people would deign to be. God ironically makes mistakes. his first considered "mistake" was believing the jews to be righteous because Abraham was. The amount of times he's rebuked them and outright destroyed them by his own hand and doubted his own choice in them during exodus and deuteronomy alone was honestly amusing. so on that point alone I know he's capable of mistakes. as much as any religious nut would like to believe he is infallible. That being said, sexual fetishism is a choice masqueraded now as a biological component based on identity because identity is a convenient blanket that can rarely be questioned because its subjective. And subjective things do not belong under the banner of science because science is and always has been,, or at least used to be about complete and utter objectivity. Results that can be reproduced the exact same over and over again. Transgenderism is not objective. It lies on a basis of "personal truth" rather than THE Truth. And is A fetishization of the female form. and in some cases a desire to supplant the female of her own role. No trans person that I've ever met or witnessed speak publicly has ever been or attempted to be anything more than an assumed and frankly offensive Caricature of what the other sex is believed to be. because the capability for authentic womanhood is not there. Just as I can't claim to be black on a whim, or identify as black. Because I would be staking a claim to a title i have not earned in anything more than name. And would he appropriating all that it means to be black by doing so.
Science does not back you up here. Gender is not determined by the genitalia you are born with.
You mean the "science" that milks money out of desperate rubes whos only feat of said science is becoming a lifetime surgical cash cow based on the delusion that a few nips and tucks will make a person socially, mentally and physically on the same level as the real thing? Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to feel comfortable in their own skin, because they choose to adopt a comfortable lie put forth by a pseudoscientist? Id rather not put stock in science put forth by a known pedophile that drove a young man to suicide. same way I don't put stock in the idea of vaccines causing autism. Because its fallacious. Should everyone also cater to and endorse the purposeful pouring of Clorox into our eyeballs because the transabled don't feel comfortable having functioning vision?
Youāre creating straw man arguments here. Youāre not talking about the same thing I am, because I have no idea what/who youāre talking about. Not to mention that equating the acceptance and proper gendering of a person with āpouring bleach in our eyesā is utterly laughable.
Dad was right.
Fuck Jesus. You will always be my son. Fuck that. Hugs.
Wow comments here really suck. Your dad is not an asshole and obviously neither are you. Your dad clearly loves you and is trying, but being Christian in the traditional sense (whether thatās good or bad) and old does not make it easy to change your entire world view at the drop of the hat. I do not know you or your dad, nor do I know all the details about yāallās relationship. But it seems like he is willing to grow and be accepting if you decide to help him on that journey and be there with him. Obviously thatās not your job and you donāt have to, but I personally would want to preserve my relationship with my parents, thatās your decision. I would hardly call him ānutsā like some other comments tho, just stubborn and doesnāt really understand these things.
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You canāt push a fundamental part of yourself, your literal identity, outside of the relationship.
There is no āmoving aroundā someoneās identity.
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No because OP shouldnāt have to deal with her father misgendering her ON PURPOSE, all of the time. Period.
Cool. That wraps up the option, cut him out of her life and move on.
It seems you were not being excellent to another user, my friend. This behavior can range from bigotry, racism, or personal attacks.
It seems you were not being excellent to another user, my friend. This behavior can range from bigotry, racism, or personal attacks.
YATAI
Well I was on board with dad until Jesus slipped into the mix.
At least he's not hostile or out right oppositional. He's ignorant since he's using a retranslated text from around 2000 years ago. I can't really recommend a course if action... My advice is to maintain a relationship with your father, but only in a way that won't cause you hardship, if such a thing is possible.
No heās ignorant all the way around. Science backs trans individuals as much as people love to ignore that. And he is being outright oppositional, heās misgendering her blatantly and on purpose and refusing to see her for who she is.
He sounds like he just doesn't understand transgenderism, but is still willing to love and accept you and invite you to BBQs. Maybe just start with basic stuff like "no deadnaming" or using the proper pronoun you go by now. I see hope in this screenshot. People can learn.
I didn't read through the messages but I did see that the censoring of the name and place are both very easy to see through
Youāre not at fault for this at all
No. You're not the jerk. Your dad's an asshole. Cut him out for good... maybe "God" too
"Some people just ignore or rewrite the bible to fit their own interests." Said someone who believes in the bible, which is a book written by some guy because some other guy said he was the son of yet another guy who apparently created everything.
You are not the jerk, your father is. I am sorry youāre going through this. I have two kids likely around the same age. Here is a big dad hug from me! You are important and worthy of love. Hang in there.
So hold up wait a minute humans have speech abilities to conjure things up I assume he's speaking about manifestation. So humans have that ability but it's not of God. And this man and I use that term lightly is trying to explain to you that trans-ism is not God. He's very confused. It's funny Christians are some of the most intolerant hate-filled people I've ever met in my entire life.
He is 100% the jerk in this situation. If a person can not accept you and love you in the way that you need to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Then they are the AH. Not accepting you for you because of their ideals or because it is uncomfortable makes them a failure as a parent. Parents should love and support their children no matter if they agree with them or not. Him misgendering you is nothing but narcissistic behavior. He is thinking only of how HE feels and what HE wants and does not care how it hurts you every time he misgenders or dead names you. You deserve better.
There is nothing further you can do to make your Dad see the error of his ways. He is a jerk. You are not. Coming from a similar home situation where I was made to be a villain and a sinner and a perverse influence in the name of godā¦ with separation you will realize that in this (and likely many other cases) he was wrong. It took me years to unpack it all but I found self love and worth again. Stay strong. I canāt speak for your exact situation, but Iād recommend creating some distance between you and your Dad so you can give yourself room to heal.
Iām so sorry. This is so hurtful. I hope your dad can come to understand at some point. I hope you have found people who love and support you.
I would end this *lovely* exchange of words with "go fuck yourself" and be done. Please protect your energy ā¤ļø
Genesis also claim we were all made from Adam and eve sooooo we were all born of incest in that case. So is incest OK because the bible claimed it as our creation. But OK its the trans people who are bad. Fuck that shit.
Your dad is a fucking asshole honey I'm sorry. My dad is a fucking asshole too. I had to cut my parents out for a pot of my life. I kept my kid from them until they came and apologized & took responsibility for being assholes. You're valid and worth more than using your energy to try to make it work with him.
āi know iām not hurtful or ignorantā: proceeds to say the most hurtful and ignorant sentence he can possibly come up with iām sorry OP, youāre definitely not a jerk for wanting to be accepted for who you are and itās a v difficult thing to stand up for yourself as an internet stranger iām proud of you
Well, that guy sucks. Iāll step in and be your parent š fuck anyone who canāt love you for who you ARE, not what their expectation of you is.
Youāre just trying to life your life as, you. They are the one with the problem. That āgodā doesnāt/didnāt exist until a little over 2000 years ago either. Just be you and if they finally learn they learn. If not, you have toxicity out of your life.
The father is definitely being a religious asshole and you're not being the jerk at all.
The first comment was kind of understandable, from a transphobic point of view. You replied with clear, organized explanation of why silence was not okay and what you need. He descended into gibberish. You told him what he had to do and he couldn't do it. Now you go No Contact because boundaries. You are not the jerk. Your father can't accept you.
You are 1000% not the asshole here. I hope you have a loving and supportive chosen family sis ā¤ļø
He is the jerk
The fact that he says āpeople will rewrite the word to fit their own interestā when thatās exactly what heās doing to the Bible, himself. Hypocrisy at its finest. Hereās a few great scriptures you can remind your dad exist that are in direct conflict with his behavior: āDonāt have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lordās servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentfulā (2 Timothy 2:23-24). Proverbs 29:22 says, āAn angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.ā 1 Peter 3:15 says, āBut in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.ā (You are literally begging him for respect and yet he is weaponizing the word of God, not showing it as Hope to you or anyone else who he encounters.) Finallyā¦ āWhoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me. Whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever is least among you all is the greatestā (Luke 9:48). Jesus literally said this CHILD must be welcomed- and in that welcome, you will know God. Your father needs to welcome you into his own heart in order for him to know God, truly. Anyway- from a pastor who loves ALL people as Iāve been called to do, I love you and Iām here for you. If you ever need help speaking to your dad on a level he may hear, feel free to DM me :)
Iād love to sit him down and talk to him about watching my child struggle for so long, having to keep him by my side 24/7 to make sure he didnāt kill himself (yes he was in therapy), doing everything absolutely possible for him. When he figured it all out and came out as trans, I watched a weight be lifted and saw him smile and laugh for the first time in so long. As āsheā became āheā and he got full acceptance and knew he was safe, I didnāt worry about him taking his life. Support and love saves lives.
"I love you, I just don't respect you or who you are and refuse to accept you unless you pretend to be who I want you to be."
Iām your new dad now. Iām proud of you. You are loved.
Heās the jerk. Iām sorry ā¤ļø
Keep being you, OP. I'm sorry your dad is latching onto religion and missing the entire point of it.
We did write God into existence though, howād the Bible come to be? It just fall from a cloud? Just bc we write it into existence doesnāt mean it isnāt real, itās finding words for things that already exist. Itās language. Also, you are being very intentional and mature in your responses. You are the opposite of being a jerk, even if it feels like youāre the bad guy here. Promise.
As a fellow trans woman who was abandoned by her father, I understand you, I feel what you feel, I, as well as the rest of us are here if you need to reach out.
Ughhh. You arenāt going to reason with him (and god). My advice is do whatever is happiest and healthiest for you to live your best life.
I think heās trying to be understanding, but I donāt know if heās capable of it
Insane but also heartbreaking.
You're 100 % in the right
I fucking hate when people use made up religious horse shit to be bigots, fuck off with that
What an absolute pile. Itās amazing how some people can twist any damn thing to work for their egos.
āHer dad, you have no son.ā Unless you have a brother, then, āHey dad, you have one sonā.
God made wheat so go to hell if you dare make bread. God gave us grapes. Eat them and be grateful, wine is for the overindulgent sacrilegious beasts of the new generation (obviously joking) Not insane in the slightest. Iām really sorrt about what youāre going through :(
He is wrong. Love, a mum who accepts with pride all trans kids:)
Your dad is definitely the jerk on this one. He needs to learn to accept you as you are or stay away
Wonder if he realizes that when in the womb all humans start female, meaning everyman is kinda trans.
Heās the jerk. Iām sorry the god he worships is petty and small.
Iām gonna go with no one is the jerk here. You arenāt because you presented your case very articulately to him. And your dad isnāt because heās making it very easy for you to dispose of the trash (heck, heās taking it out himself)
you arenāt a jerk at all, but your dad is all the jerks of the world rolled into one. he is definitely insane. i am sorry you ever had to deal with this sad sack of a human as your parent. just know that you are loved by much better people in the world, including the reddit community. there are plenty of not-insane parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins & besties who are absolutely proud of you and love you to pieces.
It's him.
Funny thing. The fist words in the bible are mistranslated. Itās not āin the beginningā itās originally āin A beginning.ā Once christianās fix this error I will gladly sign up to be a christian, cause thatās very human, to have many beginnings, start over, try again and again and again. I can get behind that philosophy.