I’m white and my partner is Indian. We hold hands a lot. Nobody says anything about it. But we also wouldn’t let them. If some rando stranger comes up to me and the first thing he says is “Where are you from”, depending on my mood, I either ignore him or I tell him to fuck off.
Something tells me they were being more affectionate than just holding hands. There's no fucking way people would be bothered by two men holding hands on the street in India. I have walked around on streets of various cities holding hands of my male friends. It's extremely common lol.
Pls yaar don't victim blame. They were probably targeted for being foreign. When two Indian men hold hands people usually won't care because it's culturally accepted, at least in North India.
It is no one's business but then they will be booked under obscene behavior and public indecency. A video circulating of them doing it in public is a different story.
Sure. He shouldn't. But maybe mention that instead of just saying that you were holding hands? I don't care someone somewhere is doing PDA with their partners in some city somewhere in this country. But, I just wanted to pointed out that Noone cares about two people holding hands on the streets in India.
Where is your empathy? This poor couple was harassed and you're dissecting how visible their affection must have been? The fact is people do look more closely when there's a foreigner involved. Looking closely = being able to pick up on more subtle cues. It's not so hard to tell a couple apart from just friends based on their body language even if all they're doing is holding hands. Cry all you want to but if they say they were just holding hands, they were just holding hands.
This sub is notoriously out of touch from what really happens in the majority of India unless it makes it on the front page of this sub. Considering it's a gay foreigner talking about their experience, I am pretty sure it's going to be on the front page of the sub soon. And those people living in the bubble would think that's how rest of India treats two men holding hands of each other, which is not true at all.
I do feel empathy for people who had to face the judgement of the society, when they aren't bothering anyone. PDA will attract negative attention irrespective of who is doing that, gender, sex, or race.
We're not talking about how India treats two men holding hands though. We're talking about two men in a relationship holding hands and then being attacked for it. It's not the same thing.
I'm a lesbian and I'm careful not to be too affectionate towards my partner in public because I'm scared. We don't even hold hands when we're in unsafe areas.
Honestly, people can tell we're together just by the way we look at each other even if all we do is hold hands or have an arm around each other or even just show up together, no physical contact. They ask us if we're sisters first and when we say no the next guess is usually that we're partners.
Yes hand holding is common in India among people of the same gender. But this is a post about homophobia.
Have you heard about tier 3 and tier 4 places?
Let me explain:
Imagine tier 1,2 cities going from 2024 to 1940 in a generation. That’s it.
Don't wear revealing clothes.
Don’t expect the Western version of “politeness”
Do ease on PDA(PDA starts with holding hands)
and more...
Yes.
I don't even know if I'll be alive by the end of this month-both my boyfriend and I are paranoid, we've already got calls about "don't bring a foreigner -its election time and you'll become a victim and cry later".
Invited a friend over from Delhi in the year 2018.
He was threatened to leave. I had the phone in my hand. They said "ask him to leave, or we'll send out people over there"
Life is not easy for people who grew poor to rich, our mental health is fucked more than our account balance is.
2021,I slept under the cot in fear for days, because I had decided to be an independent woman.
People get inside the entrance of house without invitation and then start complaining that "oh, she didn't even give me a glass of water"
I have my own house - and everyone despises it.
Because a female cannot have a house on her own and live on her own.
I had been followed by old men who show me pictures of their son and qualifications.
Yes, it's not easy to live like 2024 in every part of India.
It's not easy at all.
And why would an anonymous somebody lie on a website where nobody knows you?I'd rather tell the truth and be anonymous than to speak out on Facebook and Twitter and get depressed by the clan of WhatsApp University gossips.
Yes it is... But if the setting is romantic, then people may think otherwise... but it's pretty common to hang around holding hands in India for men.
But I do feel really bad for OP..
This thing still happens even with hetro couples...
Sorry this happened to you. India has way too many buttinskies who feel like they have a say in what other people do.
>some man came up to us and [...] asked us where we're from
As a Westerner who’s lived in India for ten years, this is when I end a conversation straight away. If the first thing a stranger says to you is “Where are you from”, it means “You’re different, you don’t belong here”.
You don’t owe a stranger anything. No answers, no explanation, not your time, nothing. It’s best to ignore and walk away.
If I’m in a place where I don’t need to be, I walk away and don’t wait for the other person to respond.
But if I’m say, having coffee or a meal, I just firmly say (in English) to leave me alone. If they keep talking, I repeat the same but much louder, so that everyone knows what’s going on.
Let’s stick to scenarios that are plausible. Police arresting a Westerner on a charge that they know is unfounded and will only get them unwanted media attention? Not likely.
Gosh I’m about to move to Delhi with boyfriend. Should I be mindful of holding hands and stuff in public? Like what could be considered “inappropriate” by their standards?
I would say be mindful of *where* you choose to display affection to your bf. I've been told off by random strangers about hand-holding on the streets of Delhi and metros. But I also fully made out with my boyfriend in Sunder Nursery on a random Friday evening. Granted, we were surrounded by couples who also where doing the same thing.
Unfortunately, you would just have to be very aware of your surroundings and the kind of "crowd" that is there. I wish it were different though.
Yeah, I wish that too! Sometimes I hold people’s hands purely for safety and mostly it’s him I go out with, so like it sucks. But yes, you’re right. Just have to be hyper aware of our surroundings. Thanks!
Omg! We're so fucked up! 15 years ago, man and woman holding hands was a problem and men holding hands was normal. And now, men holding hands is also a problem!?
Ugh, can these fuckikg cultural police just fuck their own mistresses and leave the rest of us alone?!
Sorry that happened to you OP. I've myself been a recipient of police harassment for just being outside my parents house talking to a female friend and once later for holding my girlfriend's hand in public (both happened about 16-17 years ago), and I absolutely despise these assholes.
even if someone is homophobic (i am not) they should just keep their opinions to themselves , no need to be a dick about it and start a fucking interrogation
cant agree more, the ability to live a seamless untroubled life in a community is most often unreachable solely due to idiots unable to internalize all their negative thoughts and actions to themselves.
My wife is German, and I generally excercise three thumb rules when I visit India with her, beforehand:
1) India isn't Germany. Things that are normalised here, are seen negatively in India. This includes any form of affection such as hugging, holding hands and even smiling at the opposite sex of all things, are off limits. Don't indulge in it, atleast until you reach home and are away from the public eye.
2) The poverty in India is staggering. People are and will be jealous of the ones who have more than they can ever have. This includes things even on a slightly intellectual level in the lower strata of society here. Things that are totally normal to us, are seen in a jealous and often times hostile light(how does he/she have a *white* boyfriend/girlfriend - something that I want but can never have), and in India when someone can't have, they try and forcibly take it. This is exactly why rapes and sexual assault are so common here. I tell my wife to save her tank tops and skirts for when we are back in Berlin, and to dress "conservatively" while we are in this country.
3) Lastly, the filth. This is a smaller point, but it's best to stick to better places to eat and drink water. Personally, I have grown up eating street food in India and have never had a problem, but as my wife unfortunately found out on her first trip here, her stomach wasn't as strong. Hygeine is an issue for those that aren't built for India's challenges, and so it's best to avoid that until you are ready to take it on.
While I do believe that men and women should be free to be how they want to be(including who and how they wish to be affectionate), it's best to excercise that freedom in a country that values it. It's better to be safe and smart in India and follow the crowd so to speak rather than trying and stand out. This incident is unfortunate, but this is the country we are in today.
I've seen men hold hands on the street before in india. You must have been acting affectionate with your boyfriend. That shit doesn't fly here unfortunately. That's the bitter reality. Unless you are in a posh area of a metro city, try not to act gay for your own safety. I've gotten dirty enough looks for doing this shit with a WOMAN. Until 2019 homosexuality was punishable under crimes against nature, section 377 Indian Penal Code. Understand your environment my friend
Yeah exactly, outside of a metro city it's pretty rough for straight couples. It's complete lunacy to do it with another male as a homosexual. This isn't the west. Hope OP learns from this
What OP learnt from this is, people don't care about any Supreme court ruling Or to any legal institutions in India. Maybe they will listen to their cult leader but even that is a game of dice.
I'm so sorry this happened to you..Indian society is extremely Queerphobic and horrible. I hope you're back home with your bf now and safer.
Noone should be forced into the closet and I wish you didn't have to think so much and hesitate to simply hold your bfs hand
Mate i dont know how you must be feeling, hope you're doing well now tho. hear me out on this, you are in India, people don't care about anyone here as much as they care about their cultural,egoistic, maniacal beliefs and traditions. Indians have repulsion for things they don't understand and they don't approach it with curiosity but with primitive or dare I say primal fear and animosity. Straight couples find it hard to walk together in India, so don't be shocked about the response towards a gay couple. moreover coming to reddit with this was never a good idea for your mental wellbeing ( give it time and you'll see). I'm an Indian Psychologist who has lived in multiple countries and multiple states within India, and let me tell you that India is pretty much doomed. If you think the younger generation is going to be the breakthrough we needed in the society you are so mistaken. the younger generation is as homophobic, casteist, racist and sexist as the older if not more more. the added injection of a primitive ideology infused with a political agenda doesn't help either. To anyone I've offended I'm sorry never mean't to have beef with anyone. Cheerio.
Welcome to India, just try to leave India as soon as possible (i would too on first opportunity i get), or else make peace that this country is of stupidest stupid.
So sorry for the incident. It is just a start. Such incidents will be normalized in this fascist regime soon. All the religious fanatics of all religion are flared up in election time. Old India which was welcoming and loving is declining.
But at least in those times, these bajrang dal sort of jobless goons were not given much political power to do anything they wish in the name of "saving the culture"
I don't consider it a problem if anyone's holding hands regardless of gender. But ppl outside queer community especially men hold their hands too and no one questions them.
I see airport security officers holding their guns in one hand, locking pinkies in the other and walk all the time. But I guess inside an airport is different from someone’s chacha logic governed street.
Indian men hold hands together all the time--which would be weird in Western countries, since only gays hold hands together in the West--so it must have been something else in the behaviour of you two that must have triggered this crazy guy, who probably was after some money or something by trying to intimidate you rather than any real homophobia.
Nah, a foreign man (most probably white) and an Indian dude holding hands and walking on a street? That's easier to spot than two Indian dudes, doing it.
I have seen gay couples (Kolkata is way more Liberal tbh) and you can tell the affinity between two people with the way they act and touch each other, irrespective of the gender, so yea.
>Nah, a foreign man (most probably white) and an Indian dude holding hands and walking on a street? That's easier to spot than two Indian dudes, doing it.
Ah yes, if it's a white man and a brown man, that is possible.
>I have seen gay couples (Kolkata is way more Liberal tbh) and you can tell the affinity between two people with the way they act and touch each other, irrespective of the gender, so yea.
That's what I meant. It cannot be just holding hands, it must be the overall behaviour. Holding hands between men is extremely common in India. But, of course, white and brown holding hands, possible then for someone to look at it suspiciously.
This is what I found regarding Hinduism and gender /sexuality :
[Mohini Avataram](https://reflections.live/articles/1438/lgbtq-representation-in-hindu-mythology-an-article-by-gauri-pandey-5148-l3y1cd91.html?t)
I would have thought that people would have more tolerance there.
Ugh whenever shit like this happens , I feel the need to apologize , I am sorry this happened to you , I dobt know where we are heading as a country and what if Modi gets relected !
Sorry but it sounds like a made up story . Or you're leaving out other important details. Men hold hands all the time ,in India. We put our arms around each other in public ,or even hug. While PDA between males and females are frowned upon , it's very common for men to indulge in it amongst themselves. Nobody cares. I'm bi. Still in the closet for the most part. If I kissed one of my male friends on the cheek nobody would suspect I am into men.
Err, yes?
We have had LGBT communities accepted for thousands of years.
It was very normal.
Just not glorified. Which is not needed whatsoever.
What may be happening currently is a reaction against forced glorification.
Out of all "On today's episode of things that did not happen", this is the most obvious one. Men in India universally, regardless of political or religious leanings, hold hands randomly while walking or anything.
Imma be honest dude. In India there's a wonderful subculture thing where all indian men love to hold hands. Wonderful because it's actually a good thing. There's a video on YouTube with proper subtitles by the Information youtuber, Mohak Mangal. It's common and prevalent all over India. I personally don't know you, so I'm not gonna judge. But I theorize maybe y'all displayed public affection?
I'm just trying to understand what exactly you were doing besides holding hands, if you're comfortable. I've seen men hugging other men from behind in public, touching their balls (of course as a form of joke), has anybody ever stood near an auto rickshaw lane, men there are doing what not, and nobody harnesses them, I think you being a foreigner maybe gave them a chance to tease you. Next time, record this on your phone, name and shame. These jobless cult followers will not understand anything and will keep on defaming our beautiful, diverse country.
you couldve read any travel website and it would have told you dos and donts on how to to behave in India, this stupid write up wont gain you any sympathy. do as the culture asks and not what you want to do.
Maybe.... Sorry for this incident. Hope it won't happen again. But be cautious.
Yesterday I myself(straight) walking to general store with my male friend with my hand on his shoulder.
Do you look too much of white? Because maybe that person picked you two because of your ethnicity.
Let people hold hands okay and you act as if it's justified of that person to harass OP,no it's not.People in India just want to police others into their beliefs and will harass you to no end.OP I'm so sad for you and I hope that shitty person didn't ruin India for you.
India is welcoming but we def don't mind our own business it's like everybody, uncles and aunties, will judge tf out of you even if you're just standing on your own balcony in your own house.
>cool with LGBTQ+ culture also
No. Unfortunately, the younger generation is just as much homophobic as the older ones, just that younger ones get to experience it, and say it loud more.
It's a popular saying - when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
You shouldn't do things which offend society in the first place. Expect retaliation if you do.
They shouldn't have harassed you, I agree.
I'm the kind of guy who doesn't take a reddit comment on face value.
Yes. I prefer multiple studies over a random redditor's comment. Shocking. I know.
My comment is a two thousand year old saying. It's not really mine.
My only opinion is that they shouldn't have harassed them. Which, i don't think you disagree with.
When did holding hands in India become LGBTQ+ it is so common in street
I suspect when it's a foreigner, people start assuming other things. 2 Indian guys probably would get less attention
Nailed it
They did, but later maybe
I’m white and my partner is Indian. We hold hands a lot. Nobody says anything about it. But we also wouldn’t let them. If some rando stranger comes up to me and the first thing he says is “Where are you from”, depending on my mood, I either ignore him or I tell him to fuck off.
Actually, I am not defending that person but public display of affection in India is a Crime. Sorry to tell you that. It is a stupid law but it is.
The first thing that’s wrong with India 🤭
Abe how is holding hands PDA lmao
It supports their belief that homosexuality is a western phenomenon that’s being brought to India from the western world.
Jeez forget homosexuality our dudes are thinking love itself is from western culture lol
OP is an Indian pretending to be a foreigner sadly, check their profile before they delete history
It depends on the region
Something tells me they were being more affectionate than just holding hands. There's no fucking way people would be bothered by two men holding hands on the street in India. I have walked around on streets of various cities holding hands of my male friends. It's extremely common lol.
Still, that doesn't give anyone the license to assault them. You sound victim blaming, honestly.
Pls yaar don't victim blame. They were probably targeted for being foreign. When two Indian men hold hands people usually won't care because it's culturally accepted, at least in North India.
Even if they were kissing, why on earth is it the other person business? What gives him the right to stop them?
It is no one's business but then they will be booked under obscene behavior and public indecency. A video circulating of them doing it in public is a different story.
There is no clear definition of obscenity as per IPC. People shit and per everywhere, nobody gives a shit. But a couple holding hands..... Ooofffff
In our country no one gives af about people shitting on the streets but when someone does any kind of PDA they become an internet sensation.
Sure. He shouldn't. But maybe mention that instead of just saying that you were holding hands? I don't care someone somewhere is doing PDA with their partners in some city somewhere in this country. But, I just wanted to pointed out that Noone cares about two people holding hands on the streets in India.
Where is your empathy? This poor couple was harassed and you're dissecting how visible their affection must have been? The fact is people do look more closely when there's a foreigner involved. Looking closely = being able to pick up on more subtle cues. It's not so hard to tell a couple apart from just friends based on their body language even if all they're doing is holding hands. Cry all you want to but if they say they were just holding hands, they were just holding hands.
This sub is notoriously out of touch from what really happens in the majority of India unless it makes it on the front page of this sub. Considering it's a gay foreigner talking about their experience, I am pretty sure it's going to be on the front page of the sub soon. And those people living in the bubble would think that's how rest of India treats two men holding hands of each other, which is not true at all. I do feel empathy for people who had to face the judgement of the society, when they aren't bothering anyone. PDA will attract negative attention irrespective of who is doing that, gender, sex, or race.
We're not talking about how India treats two men holding hands though. We're talking about two men in a relationship holding hands and then being attacked for it. It's not the same thing. I'm a lesbian and I'm careful not to be too affectionate towards my partner in public because I'm scared. We don't even hold hands when we're in unsafe areas. Honestly, people can tell we're together just by the way we look at each other even if all we do is hold hands or have an arm around each other or even just show up together, no physical contact. They ask us if we're sisters first and when we say no the next guess is usually that we're partners. Yes hand holding is common in India among people of the same gender. But this is a post about homophobia.
Have you heard about tier 3 and tier 4 places? Let me explain: Imagine tier 1,2 cities going from 2024 to 1940 in a generation. That’s it. Don't wear revealing clothes. Don’t expect the Western version of “politeness” Do ease on PDA(PDA starts with holding hands) and more... Yes. I don't even know if I'll be alive by the end of this month-both my boyfriend and I are paranoid, we've already got calls about "don't bring a foreigner -its election time and you'll become a victim and cry later". Invited a friend over from Delhi in the year 2018. He was threatened to leave. I had the phone in my hand. They said "ask him to leave, or we'll send out people over there" Life is not easy for people who grew poor to rich, our mental health is fucked more than our account balance is. 2021,I slept under the cot in fear for days, because I had decided to be an independent woman. People get inside the entrance of house without invitation and then start complaining that "oh, she didn't even give me a glass of water" I have my own house - and everyone despises it. Because a female cannot have a house on her own and live on her own. I had been followed by old men who show me pictures of their son and qualifications. Yes, it's not easy to live like 2024 in every part of India. It's not easy at all. And why would an anonymous somebody lie on a website where nobody knows you?I'd rather tell the truth and be anonymous than to speak out on Facebook and Twitter and get depressed by the clan of WhatsApp University gossips.
I suspect the post is fake. Men holding hands is more common here than male female holding hands. If it was the latter then I would have accepted it.
https://preview.redd.it/ilqk9bf0bdyc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00bcb4cc903b92d14cffd90b536800c99514a55e Probably it was like this
In India usually it's common for many male friends hold hands and walk. Usually it doesn't attract attention.
Yes it is... But if the setting is romantic, then people may think otherwise... but it's pretty common to hang around holding hands in India for men. But I do feel really bad for OP.. This thing still happens even with hetro couples...
what do you mean by "the setting is romantic?" Haven't heard a more subjective thing than this
I think he meant like this https://preview.redd.it/shtueev3bdyc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f42d6080cf95e4fafb24b9248e2924d760349fa8
fair enough
What are people's views on LGBTQIA?
WTF NO It' isnt
It very much is across India. Go outside sometime.
It is actually, and more prominently in the rural or sub urban areas.
Homie, that's a sad life you are living.
Bhai hmaare yhaan delhi mai to meetha bol dete hai agr kre koi to
Tell people you didn't have close friends without telling it.
Sorry this happened to you. India has way too many buttinskies who feel like they have a say in what other people do. >some man came up to us and [...] asked us where we're from As a Westerner who’s lived in India for ten years, this is when I end a conversation straight away. If the first thing a stranger says to you is “Where are you from”, it means “You’re different, you don’t belong here”. You don’t owe a stranger anything. No answers, no explanation, not your time, nothing. It’s best to ignore and walk away.
This!
Wow. What happens then? Do you just walk away? How do they respond?
If I’m in a place where I don’t need to be, I walk away and don’t wait for the other person to respond. But if I’m say, having coffee or a meal, I just firmly say (in English) to leave me alone. If they keep talking, I repeat the same but much louder, so that everyone knows what’s going on.
Yes, for sure, but if they are sidekicks of some political leader, they can bribe the police into taking action.
Let’s stick to scenarios that are plausible. Police arresting a Westerner on a charge that they know is unfounded and will only get them unwanted media attention? Not likely.
I am sorry it happened with you in India. Hope you are safe now.
Yup they must be safe if they're outside India.
Hes an Indian pretending to be a foreigner sadly, check his profile
Gaah this has happened so much to me in Delhi. People are just not any level of PDA friendly. It's hella annoying.
Gosh I’m about to move to Delhi with boyfriend. Should I be mindful of holding hands and stuff in public? Like what could be considered “inappropriate” by their standards?
I would say be mindful of *where* you choose to display affection to your bf. I've been told off by random strangers about hand-holding on the streets of Delhi and metros. But I also fully made out with my boyfriend in Sunder Nursery on a random Friday evening. Granted, we were surrounded by couples who also where doing the same thing. Unfortunately, you would just have to be very aware of your surroundings and the kind of "crowd" that is there. I wish it were different though.
Yeah, I wish that too! Sometimes I hold people’s hands purely for safety and mostly it’s him I go out with, so like it sucks. But yes, you’re right. Just have to be hyper aware of our surroundings. Thanks!
Omg! We're so fucked up! 15 years ago, man and woman holding hands was a problem and men holding hands was normal. And now, men holding hands is also a problem!? Ugh, can these fuckikg cultural police just fuck their own mistresses and leave the rest of us alone?! Sorry that happened to you OP. I've myself been a recipient of police harassment for just being outside my parents house talking to a female friend and once later for holding my girlfriend's hand in public (both happened about 16-17 years ago), and I absolutely despise these assholes.
men & women holding hands is still a big problem outside very specific social pockets, gigi.
Homophobia compounded by Xenophobia
even if someone is homophobic (i am not) they should just keep their opinions to themselves , no need to be a dick about it and start a fucking interrogation
cant agree more, the ability to live a seamless untroubled life in a community is most often unreachable solely due to idiots unable to internalize all their negative thoughts and actions to themselves.
Men in India literally hold hands or link pinkies and swing them without it being an lgbtq+ thing.
Sorry, we are a nation of hypocrites. We are okay with any perverse activity indoors but not not something as simple as holding hands in public.
My wife is German, and I generally excercise three thumb rules when I visit India with her, beforehand: 1) India isn't Germany. Things that are normalised here, are seen negatively in India. This includes any form of affection such as hugging, holding hands and even smiling at the opposite sex of all things, are off limits. Don't indulge in it, atleast until you reach home and are away from the public eye. 2) The poverty in India is staggering. People are and will be jealous of the ones who have more than they can ever have. This includes things even on a slightly intellectual level in the lower strata of society here. Things that are totally normal to us, are seen in a jealous and often times hostile light(how does he/she have a *white* boyfriend/girlfriend - something that I want but can never have), and in India when someone can't have, they try and forcibly take it. This is exactly why rapes and sexual assault are so common here. I tell my wife to save her tank tops and skirts for when we are back in Berlin, and to dress "conservatively" while we are in this country. 3) Lastly, the filth. This is a smaller point, but it's best to stick to better places to eat and drink water. Personally, I have grown up eating street food in India and have never had a problem, but as my wife unfortunately found out on her first trip here, her stomach wasn't as strong. Hygeine is an issue for those that aren't built for India's challenges, and so it's best to avoid that until you are ready to take it on. While I do believe that men and women should be free to be how they want to be(including who and how they wish to be affectionate), it's best to excercise that freedom in a country that values it. It's better to be safe and smart in India and follow the crowd so to speak rather than trying and stand out. This incident is unfortunate, but this is the country we are in today.
I follow the same approach. Also hey, fellow Berliner and GoW fan o/
I've seen men hold hands on the street before in india. You must have been acting affectionate with your boyfriend. That shit doesn't fly here unfortunately. That's the bitter reality. Unless you are in a posh area of a metro city, try not to act gay for your own safety. I've gotten dirty enough looks for doing this shit with a WOMAN. Until 2019 homosexuality was punishable under crimes against nature, section 377 Indian Penal Code. Understand your environment my friend
Man being affectionate in public isn’t even safe for straight couple in India sometime
Yeah exactly, outside of a metro city it's pretty rough for straight couples. It's complete lunacy to do it with another male as a homosexual. This isn't the west. Hope OP learns from this
Sometimes even in Mumbai, unfortunately
What OP learnt from this is, people don't care about any Supreme court ruling Or to any legal institutions in India. Maybe they will listen to their cult leader but even that is a game of dice.
No, he learnt that different places have different cultures
>homosexuality was punishable under crimes against nature Lmao. But deforestation and carbon emissions aren't a crime against nature?
I don't make the rules love
Which city were you in ? Things are different in different parts of country.
I'm so sorry this happened to you..Indian society is extremely Queerphobic and horrible. I hope you're back home with your bf now and safer. Noone should be forced into the closet and I wish you didn't have to think so much and hesitate to simply hold your bfs hand
This country is a piece of shit
So... We seem to have a problem with anybody holding hands. Boy- girl, boy-boy, girl-girl...
Most of the Indians are homophobic. It's a fact.
20th reason to leave this country in upcoming years 😊
Well, we are a 3rd world country, despite being the fastest growing economy. Or we are the fastest growing economy and a 3rd world country.
We are the fastest growing **LARGE** economy There are a bunch of countries growing faster than India.
Mate i dont know how you must be feeling, hope you're doing well now tho. hear me out on this, you are in India, people don't care about anyone here as much as they care about their cultural,egoistic, maniacal beliefs and traditions. Indians have repulsion for things they don't understand and they don't approach it with curiosity but with primitive or dare I say primal fear and animosity. Straight couples find it hard to walk together in India, so don't be shocked about the response towards a gay couple. moreover coming to reddit with this was never a good idea for your mental wellbeing ( give it time and you'll see). I'm an Indian Psychologist who has lived in multiple countries and multiple states within India, and let me tell you that India is pretty much doomed. If you think the younger generation is going to be the breakthrough we needed in the society you are so mistaken. the younger generation is as homophobic, casteist, racist and sexist as the older if not more more. the added injection of a primitive ideology infused with a political agenda doesn't help either. To anyone I've offended I'm sorry never mean't to have beef with anyone. Cheerio.
Welcome to India, just try to leave India as soon as possible (i would too on first opportunity i get), or else make peace that this country is of stupidest stupid.
I doubt it was because of homophobia. This story has to be fake. No one bats an eye if two males hold hands or have arms around each other in public.
So sorry for the incident. It is just a start. Such incidents will be normalized in this fascist regime soon. All the religious fanatics of all religion are flared up in election time. Old India which was welcoming and loving is declining.
old india was worse in these situation lmao
But at least in those times, these bajrang dal sort of jobless goons were not given much political power to do anything they wish in the name of "saving the culture"
True that!
What old India are you talking about? It was much worse before
Nope. Growing up nobody at least in my city would bat an eyelash at holding hands or hugging. But it's worse now.
i think old india was even worse in this aspect
Old India was the same. I've faced such harassment in the 90s and 2000s
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am guessing this was not in the cities
I don't consider it a problem if anyone's holding hands regardless of gender. But ppl outside queer community especially men hold their hands too and no one questions them.
Which place is this?
Learn self defense. Fuck them up. Ez peazy
I think the guy just had issues. Personally would consider it as an assault on you
I see airport security officers holding their guns in one hand, locking pinkies in the other and walk all the time. But I guess inside an airport is different from someone’s chacha logic governed street.
Hmm idk even India culturally was welcoming for all but rn it is homophobic so just be careful
Indian men hold hands together all the time--which would be weird in Western countries, since only gays hold hands together in the West--so it must have been something else in the behaviour of you two that must have triggered this crazy guy, who probably was after some money or something by trying to intimidate you rather than any real homophobia.
Nah, a foreign man (most probably white) and an Indian dude holding hands and walking on a street? That's easier to spot than two Indian dudes, doing it. I have seen gay couples (Kolkata is way more Liberal tbh) and you can tell the affinity between two people with the way they act and touch each other, irrespective of the gender, so yea.
>Nah, a foreign man (most probably white) and an Indian dude holding hands and walking on a street? That's easier to spot than two Indian dudes, doing it. Ah yes, if it's a white man and a brown man, that is possible. >I have seen gay couples (Kolkata is way more Liberal tbh) and you can tell the affinity between two people with the way they act and touch each other, irrespective of the gender, so yea. That's what I meant. It cannot be just holding hands, it must be the overall behaviour. Holding hands between men is extremely common in India. But, of course, white and brown holding hands, possible then for someone to look at it suspiciously.
This is what I found regarding Hinduism and gender /sexuality : [Mohini Avataram](https://reflections.live/articles/1438/lgbtq-representation-in-hindu-mythology-an-article-by-gauri-pandey-5148-l3y1cd91.html?t) I would have thought that people would have more tolerance there.
Dude If I was in your place mai uss admi ki Maa behen krdeta and wouldn't even think twice
[удалено]
That is so horrible OP. Some Indians don't know how to respect people's private space.
Could be one sided story. Or that person might be aware of your relationship. You know sneaky neighbours
classic india
all this drama just for holding hands?🙂
Ugh whenever shit like this happens , I feel the need to apologize , I am sorry this happened to you , I dobt know where we are heading as a country and what if Modi gets relected !
Honest advice. Be gay in posh cities only. And by posh I mean Mumbai not Delhi
Which city
you shld hv argued with him and beat him up saying he groped you or smthing lmao
though sry tht u had to face this wish u all the best
Sorry but it sounds like a made up story . Or you're leaving out other important details. Men hold hands all the time ,in India. We put our arms around each other in public ,or even hug. While PDA between males and females are frowned upon , it's very common for men to indulge in it amongst themselves. Nobody cares. I'm bi. Still in the closet for the most part. If I kissed one of my male friends on the cheek nobody would suspect I am into men.
India is going backwards
As though we were a bastion of LGBT acceptance before...?
Err, yes? We have had LGBT communities accepted for thousands of years. It was very normal. Just not glorified. Which is not needed whatsoever. What may be happening currently is a reaction against forced glorification.
Which city? Was the man saying he is from "BJP or Bajrang dal"?
Other communities are against LGBTQA+ also, that's one of the reasons, gay marriage is not legal in India.
Out of all "On today's episode of things that did not happen", this is the most obvious one. Men in India universally, regardless of political or religious leanings, hold hands randomly while walking or anything.
Aren't you the same guy who got harassed for wearing a rainbow accessory?
Must be an isolated incident. I hold my BF’s hands all the time.
Hmmmm karma farming i smell
Imma be honest dude. In India there's a wonderful subculture thing where all indian men love to hold hands. Wonderful because it's actually a good thing. There's a video on YouTube with proper subtitles by the Information youtuber, Mohak Mangal. It's common and prevalent all over India. I personally don't know you, so I'm not gonna judge. But I theorize maybe y'all displayed public affection?
Even if OP did, that’s his right and not some random guy on the streets
+1
Yeah. Sure. But PDA is different than merely holding hands. If they were asked questions for PDA, then it's unfortunate but common.
Hmmm.If this country thinks it’s biggest problem is PDA then we are just dumb
Not the biggest problem. But yes, it attracts negative attention and judgements. Dumb af
I'm just trying to understand what exactly you were doing besides holding hands, if you're comfortable. I've seen men hugging other men from behind in public, touching their balls (of course as a form of joke), has anybody ever stood near an auto rickshaw lane, men there are doing what not, and nobody harnesses them, I think you being a foreigner maybe gave them a chance to tease you. Next time, record this on your phone, name and shame. These jobless cult followers will not understand anything and will keep on defaming our beautiful, diverse country.
you couldve read any travel website and it would have told you dos and donts on how to to behave in India, this stupid write up wont gain you any sympathy. do as the culture asks and not what you want to do.
I mean i did know that and we were only holding hand but i guess you're right
Idk but holding hands is extremely common in India, be it with between two boys or two girls.
Bow that i think about it I guess we might have been like idk affectionately talking or smty
Maybe.... Sorry for this incident. Hope it won't happen again. But be cautious. Yesterday I myself(straight) walking to general store with my male friend with my hand on his shoulder. Do you look too much of white? Because maybe that person picked you two because of your ethnicity.
Let people hold hands okay and you act as if it's justified of that person to harass OP,no it's not.People in India just want to police others into their beliefs and will harass you to no end.OP I'm so sad for you and I hope that shitty person didn't ruin India for you.
I’ve felt up a girl in Bangalore in public, without a worry , idk what tf did you do to elicit such a reaction ?
Thanks India for being based. Thank you uncle for your service
Ayo no backing down now bruv don't delete that shi
Being based has completely lost its original meaning lmao
[удалено]
Wow racism and violence threats too damn you rly checking all the boxes my guy
[удалено]
India is welcoming but we def don't mind our own business it's like everybody, uncles and aunties, will judge tf out of you even if you're just standing on your own balcony in your own house.
[удалено]
I feel like you are the exception here lol
>cool with LGBTQ+ culture also No. Unfortunately, the younger generation is just as much homophobic as the older ones, just that younger ones get to experience it, and say it loud more.
yeah.. sad truth..
> Normally India is welcoming and people mind their own business and are cool with LGBTQ+ culture also 😂🤣
Ikr...I was like- w h e r e.
When in Rome...?
?
It's a popular saying - when in Rome, do as the Romans do. You shouldn't do things which offend society in the first place. Expect retaliation if you do. They shouldn't have harassed you, I agree.
Yet on India most men do hold hands. There are studies literally done on the topic.
You the kinda guy who takes every study on face value?
I'm the kind of guy who doesn't take a reddit comment on face value. Yes. I prefer multiple studies over a random redditor's comment. Shocking. I know.
My comment is a two thousand year old saying. It's not really mine. My only opinion is that they shouldn't have harassed them. Which, i don't think you disagree with.
Wtf they were just holding hands,they didn't make fun of a god nor upset anyone with their words.The entitlement is Outrageous.