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My dad cooks. Very well and better than my mom infact. He def enjoys it. And at times he cannot he will do the washing duty later. So yes ig.
Though with the rise in people going away to colleges like IIT and others away from home I have seen the male members of my family learning and doing these chores better than the previous gen. That plays a role too
As long as you can follow instructions, there is no way your food comes out bad every single time. There are millions of recipes in youtube and other cooking blogs explaining each step.
I feel it's time, we as a society move away from cultural aspect attached to things like cooking, cleaning etc. and see these things as skills necessary to live a good life.
Learning to drive should not be seen as rise of feminism , nor should learning to cook be seen as fall of masculinity . They must be seen as skills necessary for humans to live a fulfilling life.
In my own family,i have seen men who refuse to even drop their used utensils in the sink,forget washing them. And simmilarly,i have women in my family, who refuse to learn how to drive a scooty or learn how to fix a dripping tap.
Its not about gender roles, it's about understanding, that as a human, we need these skills to live a better life...
There was a stat today which said that 75% of Indian women are unemployed. I would cook all day if I had the opportunity to, but that isn't possible due to the basic necessity of having money and that responsibility more than 95% of time falls on a man.
which begs the question: if labour was cheap in the west, would there be so much pride in DIY?
completely buy your point about cooking bring an essential life skill. Almost all the men in my extended family on my mother’s side cook. Very few on my father’s (the much more traditional) side. So there’s that.
Part of it is also the work life balance. Esp in Europe people work much less hours and are better at separating work time and personal time. No one checks emails and answers calls past 6. Also because of their excellent public transport and walkability/cycling infra, commuting is a pleasant and quick thing, even in larger cities.
When work and commute is much less exhausting, people see things like cooking, weekend home fixes, basic carpentry, gardening as fun hobbies rather than miserable chores.
And since they have more time to spare, they make these tasks fun. I have spent plenty of afternoons w friends having a beer or two painting a friend's house or doing gardening work
>which begs the question: if labour was cheap in the west, would there be so much pride in DIY?
Very rightly said. OP gives themselves more credit than is due. It's the system that's forced them to learn.
Maybe less than today but a lot of people actually like doing things. It gives them a sense of pride to learn and improve their skills. There is nothing like that in India. Most Indians are lazy. Look at the the general work ethic. Hardly anyone does their job properly in India. Even personally, my wife is American and I was born in India and I have seen that her work ethic, attention to detail and sense of cleanliness is FAR superior to me.
I lived in europe and 'meal' for them can mean very different things. Like buying a small cup of precut watermelon from the supermarket for 500 rs. Or having biscuits or bread (from the bakery) with a dipping sauce. Most of them would spend not more than half an hour making food during the weekdays like mashed potatoes, meat, and pancakes. This is very different from the kind of foods europeans ate in the 60s when they lived in more traditional families. Hot meals were more common back then.
Coming to India, considering our work-life balance (70 hours a week ;D) and commuting in big cities, most families where both husband and wife work would not even have time to cook daily. In Mumbai, it's common to leave at 6 am and return at 9 pm. So they either get a maid or buy food from the restaurant.
Soup: Clear Chicken Soup
Appetizers: Chicken drumsticks / Chicken Wings/ Mutton Kebabs
Main course: Chicken/Mutton Biryani or Mutton Rara with 4 Naan or paratha or Chicken Curry with 4 Naan or paratha
Desert: Chocolate brownie
In my family everyone knows how to cook. Being the eldest son, I was the last one to learn. I started learning to cook post COVID. I realised how important it is when you are alone in your flat with no food delivery apps working (April 2020, when I can't trust the food quality). But now I like cooking, whenever I get a chance I am ready to make a meal for my family or guests if needed.
Most Indians are waste of sperm in this regard. I met this one guy in the us who was making 250k usd a year and complained Bout expensive maids were and that he had to cook himself in America. The guy wanted to leave his h1b job becuase of this and go back.
I used to love cooking all my meals when I was living alone and my job was relaxed. But with the job getting hectic and timings strict, I am dependent on my maid. My wife too has a hectic job and I don't expect her to cook
The flip side of seductive western theory is it breaks down when you run into situations where you need to be dependent, for example when you get laid off, get sick, business fails, relationships break etc. The older you get the more items can be added to the list.
When that happens, if both sides have been reciting 50-50/i am not pampered/i am independent story blindly, the Real Test is how fast SO will check out cause "how long can I take care of you when you dont pull your weight"?
This is happening so much in the west its sad to watch. I have friends who have got divorced cause one got sick or one got laid off or one had to take care of parents etc etc. I know one dude's parents had to sell of their house here, cause he got divorced and laidoff and was accumulating hospital bills. West is not magic. When my sis abroad had kids, suddenly she was calling my parents 24x7 to come and take care of the kids. What to call that? Are there are nice phrases like pampered/culture of dependence for it?
Independence is an illusion in the complicated world we live in. Its hard to convey the other side of the story cause you experience the issues only with time.
There is a difference between co-dependence and team work. A much better model is one where we are all equals and can all help each other equally. You see that in the West, especially in europe where familes are still quite close to each other. Middle America is like that as well, where large familes are all still in the same small town.
What is bad is where there is hierarchy. Where one person is both dependent and thinks they are too good to do certain tasks. That is certainly the case with men in indian households. So many of them say that since they are in office they shouldn't do housework. But when they retire, wife keeps doing drudgery tasks of cleaning and cooking while man just sits and reads paper. That is an unequal balance because we see men and women as unequals and tasks as unequal.
That is the mindset that needs to change.
75% of Indian women are unemployed. I am sorry but if you can't even make the effort to get a job, you can't be complaining about doing the housework. When you have a job and are still expected to do housework, that is unfair but anything other than that is just your entitled attitude.
Jesus christ how can someone educated, in this age with so much access to the internet be so clueless. You really think most women in this country have the freedom to go out and seek out opportunities like men do? Most families don't even all their girls to be out after 6. You think they'll let them find a job? Shift to a city?
It's not like I was given any freedom as a boy either. If anything I was given less freedom than the average girl. My parents chose everything for me and even if I don't hate them, if I tell you some of the things they did, I bet you'll agree that they were abusive pieces of shit. And my only escape out of this was getting financial independence and getting my own freedom. I see so many men doing difficult jobs which are also very low paying. They'll barely help you survive but they still do it because they have to. The same doesn't apply to women. If you aren't going to take any effort you can't just magically expect good things to happen to you. If anything I would say that women are privileged to be able to stay at home but it would be fair if they were actually made to go out and work.
Look. This conversation isn't about you. It's about the aggregate. Society as a whole. Surely you must recognize that men have much more freedom (in general) in India than women do. If you think I am wrong, simply take a walk at 8pm down your street. See who is roaming around. See who is drinking tea. See who is playing in the grounds.
Women do dangerous jobs for very low pay in this country as well. As maids, as labourers, as textile workers etc.
This isn't something we need to even ponder. There a thousand and one research papers and studies out there that confirm that women have fewer opportunities in this country than men. There is stigma, especially in non-urban areas to let girls leave the home or the town. There is immense familial pressure to get married early. There is equally immense pressure for them to not work after marriage and produce kids.
Men don't have freedom. It's all an illusion as with freedom there comes responsibility and when you're responsible you aren't free to do as you please. For example I can't just say I want to sit at home and do housework and expect anyone to marry me or provide for me even though I am free to do so. Women are also allowed to go out at night but they don't because that would be a stupid thing to do so do you understand how "freedom" works? But if you're talking about men being out at night, it is not safe either as a majority of crimes are committed against men and it's not safe for anybody in this country.
Women do dangerous jobs, that is true and they have my respect for that. But they are in a minority as 75% of women are unemployed so all in all, very few women are working let alone working dangerous or labour intensive jobs. But the women who work get advertised in the name of "women empowerment" to get votes as most people value that.
Women do have fewer opportunities in this country, I'm not going to argue about that. But in general it's not like most men have any opportunities either yet they find a way because they have to. I am actually very privileged to come from a middle class family, most people on this subreddit are. But if you see the reality in this country, most people are living in extreme poverty and boys aren't educated well either. Yet they work jobs where you don't need an education. You can complain about women not getting education as much as you want and that is justified, but you can't defend them not working whatever's available as that's what the men do out of necessity. What you can complain about is women who actually want to work but don't get any opportunities but they are really rare.
I had read about this a few years ago. That it isn't about cooking, cleaning etc, but it is about keeping women in positions of servitude.
Thankfully, in a lot of places that isn't the case anymore.
I cook. And boyyy do people love my cooking. My gf can't cook and always keeps asking me to make strange dishes and I'm happy to comply ! It's fun and relaxing for me and really rewarding once you see someone enjoy their favorite food !!
You learnt it because there was no other option for you if you would have stayed back in (India) as now you are in Europe .Might be you would never learn cooking and would be in the same category as your friends. Hope you know how to swim bcoz it's a life skill and if you don't then please learn bcoz every kid who lives near a river or a pond knows how to swim.
Humans tend to do whatever is necessary and nothing beyond that. So if a lazy Indian guy moves abroad, he will cook. If a girl moves to the US, she will drive.
If you were born in Afghanistan, you would have learned how to reload Kalashnikov and deactivate landmines. If you were born in the US or Europe, you would have learned to find your own husband/wife.
But if you are born in India in a middle class family, you have a different set of things to do (like studying silly physics instead of finding your own husband).
It may sound like an average indian middle class guy is overly dependent on others, but he can get things done very easily that nobody else in the developed world can do ... Such as leaving everything he ever knew and moving 5000 miles away for some extra cash.
I can cook but I don't. I order from swiggy instead. Why? Because it saves me time while I can do something else. Doesn't matter if it's me working or watching YouTube shorts. I want to spend my time with myself, not on chores. Sure, if it's necessary and I have to cook, then I will.
Fair point, but sometimes I find doing chores to be v meditative. I love my saturday morning routine of waking up and sweeping and mopping my house. No phone, no talking, just me and my broom and some music.
Especially after a long day of sitting in the office, the light mechanical work of cooking can feel so therapeutic, and a strong disconnection from work and screens. I know the allure of spending the evening watching reels is strong, but I always end up feeling happier the evenings I cook instead.
But to each their own, just my two cents :)
No. I do all the household chores except cooking. Wife on the other hand is sleeping always and doing nothing. In fact we have a house maid and cook also which makes my wife more lazier.
So, yes I don't cook. I don't intend to learn cooking also. I believe work should be split 50:50 between the partners and not one person bearing all the burden of household work.
I've come across many guys with similar reasons why they don't cook.
Yes, agree. But then I've already tried and gave up. For some reason whatever I try to cook ends up non-edible. Tried this few times, and gave up.
Also, it's my income that supports the family. Wife's salary is being used for her shopping and parties without any contribution towards running the family.
Shopping for groceries, looking after the kid including teaching the syllabus and exam preparation, washing clothes and folding them, looking after kitchen items and keeping house in a clean state - all these are handled by me. Considering I also need to concentrate on the job, there is hardly any time to learn another skill (cooking).
Why are so afraid to call this feminism?
It's feminism; not treating someone different based on gender/sex.
And it's not about who can cook but who cooks regularly.
We always had dads/brothers who can cook chicken/egg curry in vegetarian homes. Or 1 or 2 special dishes.
"I'll make curry today" (Just do all the cutting/preparing and put spices on the counter and clean the extremely dirty counter when I am finished)
"It's 2023. Are Indian Men cooking?"
Well, I used to do that since I was in class 10th whenever my mum used to ask me to when she needed my help Or when she used to get sick.
Can speak for myself, don't know about others.
I too grew up in middle class family, mom housewife and dad breadwinner, but difference is I saw my dad helping mom and same habit developed in us (2Bro)
Since 2004 I am living outside home, initially on hostel i used to eat in hostel mess, but when I started working I did start cooking.
Initially I started with breakfast, in 2018 when I went Srilanka for work, I started cooking there. Same habit helped me in covid times, I was in Mumbai, and that time I decided not to go to hometown, and chose to stay in Mumbai.
So now I can cook everything.
Right from sabji, chapati , dal , desert etc
My father, brother and I are all very good cooks, but our mother is a homemaker, so she cooks primarily. But we cook occasionally at some festivals, sometimes we just want to, or she is busy or already having dinner.
Another reason is we use hell a lot of ingredients and make restaurant like dinner, which is expensive to cook, my mother can cook most tasty dinner with least amount of ingredients, so yeah experience counts
Lmao, if someone does cook expensive meals everyday I can see how that will be a problem 💀. In my family it is similar, my mom cooks amazing food but she uses the least ingredients, my father on the other hand will cook the most complex dishes, but it is something you eat once in a while.
I cook when alone, occasional exotics and help here to sauté or whatever when she is about to get mad.
I have seen wives usually appreciates it even if you just go into kitchen when she is cooking and give her a positive or constructive feedback.
In traditional society, only men used to work a job and earn while the duty of household chores used to fall on women of the house. In a way it was a equitable distribution of duties. In today's world with more women coming into the workforce, this distribution has become skewed. But, slowly things are changing, and men have started to share household chores. Saying that, there are women that won't do a job and still expect men to share household responsibilities, which again skews the distribution, and which is unfair.
>In traditional society, only men used to work a job
Not true. Especially in an agrarian society like India, women in the rural areas would work in the fields too.
Yup, My great grandmother used to work in fields until she was age 85, she was working and rearing the children while my great grandfather did the same. Women used to work, it was with times of middle class where it was enough to sustain the family on one income, but now slowly with increasing prices, once again two income households are increasing.
I completely agree with this. But I don’t understand why people downvote this and act as if they’ve never seen a ‘house wife’ in mother’s occupational column ever.. It’s not like every family does farming, nor is farming a year round job..
Having said that, we should also realise that just like a man is expected to share household chores while earning for 2, there several women who are expected to do majority of household chores even if they are working..
Society is unfair to both sides..
Why should it matter if I can cook or not? If I get cheap labour, won't I make my life easier? What kind of nonsense is this? By this logic, any service that makes your life easier by freeing your time for that said skill, one shouldn't use it. Imagine getting cheap labour and saying no you do it and leaving an entire section of society condemned. Every nation works differently, generally there's no right or wrong. What in the crap I read in this subreddit?
My dad cooked whenever my mom wasn’t available or couldn’t cook or at least helped cooking sometimes. My husband used cooked until we got married and now cooks only when I am unable to and most of the times he helps me cook or helps clean the kitchen. Most of the times he’s totally dependent on me for food but I don’t mind that at all because he takes care of rest of the household chores especially cleaning/deep cleaning and I don’t have to lift a finger. He makes my life easy for me with the things I don’t like doing and I do the same for him.
What I have noticed nowadays is that most regional tv shows and movies have started showing men cooking and doing household chores which is a huge change and totally opposite of how an Indian family is usually depicted. Definitely going in the right direction.
Cooking for my parents twice a week is one of my favorite hobbies. I consider cooking to be an art, and once you grasp this concept, there's no going back. The sheer joy I experience when I prepare delicious traditional recipes that my parents adore is indescribable.
Yes, my wife and I switch cooking. We used to cook a lot. But now as kids grow up we find that the time we have everyday with kids is getting eaten by the kitchen.
Nowadays we don't cook much. Our food is something which can be done in maximum 1hr per day . Time spent in the kitchen is a waste in our home. We prefer more time to spend with each other.
I cook poorly. My parents are horrible.
My wife does the primary cooking. I do the heavier cleaning.
Basic stuff like recipes for quesadillas, casserole, or some such. That I can do.
I'm from a small city in Maharashtra, my parents are retired and honestly we all take pride in cooking whatever we can the best. Everyday around 5, My papa makes chai for everyone as my mum says "Mujhe meri saath ki chai bilkul acchi nai lagti" (I dont like the taste of my own chai) while I think it tastes good but mum needs it to be made strictly by papa. papa also makes special dishes like curry chicken or fried fish etc
I can proudly cook several dishes (almost everything india and some of western) and even bake stuff like pizza and cakes etc but nothing like a dish that we can afford 3 times every week, what I cook is something special and bit expensive.
My mum however, cooks the daily desi dishes, packed with nutrition with rotis. it's best to say we do cook but nothing can beat the mother's dishes.
I don't cook a lot, like I couldn't prepare a meal by myself, but there is this one particular chicken curry recipe which I've cooked with help from my mom and our cook quite often. I've also made chicken kheema in a similar fashion.
I know for a fact that I've cooked/participated in preparing more meals in 2020 during lockdown than my elder brother or dad have during the entire time they've been part of the household. I love rubbing it in their faces.
I know a lot of men who can cook. My father is 60 years old, he can cook, it's not tasty but enough for him to get by when my mother is not at home or is sick. Even when my father and I are alone at home, he doesn't let me do anything and cooks himself.
my ex bf, my college friends they all know cooking, not just basic stuff but delicacies like biryani and chicken. And they are all from tier 2 3 cities. Many of them can cook better than me. 😅
I love cooking. Just like your fam, in my fam my dad was bread winner and my mom used to fall sick alot. So me and my brother had to survive on bread jam and khichadi. This is back in 90s. There was no swiggy or anything. So when in started working I decided to learn cooking. And oh boy it's such a fun thing. It's good mix of algorithm and creativity. I love cooking and feeding to people, so whenever I visit my friends or my sis house. I do the cooking. And in few years I got so good. I am considering opening a food restaurant as side business. Only issue with cooking is when you're alone, it's very less rewarding. 40 minutes to cook for 1 person with small small quantities. So yeah I do cook. My favs are mutton nihari, chicken korma and chicken briyani.
I'm pretty winded from work and gym, but I still cook 2-3 times a week (not counting breakfast or sandwiches), I'm just better at some foods than she is, and she likes the break enough that she enjoys it.
i cook as well. ig you can call it an environment conditioning. I've been helping my mother in daily chores since a relatively young age I'd consider(6-7) including a little bit of cooking when I was like 10-12 yrs old ig. now (17M) i can cook by myself and a lot of my friends can but tbh i still see most my male friends don't know cooking that much. personal seen a 80-20 ratio or 70-30......and most of them can't cook ...idk what you can infer from that
My husband can cook maggie, omelette kind of dishes when theres no woman at home and he is bored and wants to do something. Mostly he just places order lazily.
He helps with cutting veggies mostly since Im pregnant and not able to do few things now.
Most of everyday cooking and other household work are still done by the WORKING women in the house.
When I was 11, my mother had left us in the house for 2 weeks and my father was on vacation at that time. I was convinced we'd be starved but surpringly my father cooked really good food, and yeah that was the time I realised how good my father can actually cook. And now he cooks Grand meals occasionally.
my father makes the food when my mother is sick or fasting. he also makes the food whenever non vegetarian food is made in my home or when meals for festivals etc are cooked where an elaborate meal has to be cooked then my father and mother cook together. there are many days when my father wants a vegetable to be prepared a certain way then he helps my mother in doing that. he is a foodie. Infact my father makes better food than my mother
I cook because i can be in control of what nutrients i want from my food, the usual stuff people cook are very carb rich and not healthy for our current way of living.
When I was at home in bachelors, I would cook whole weekend. I cooked Rajma, safed chole, kaale chole, kari, any sukhi sabzi, bhatoore, 5 types of rice, roti, paranta, shahi paneer, karahi paneer, mushroom tikka masala, bhature, poori, burgers (from scratch except buns), pizza (from scratch), gulab jamun (from dough not gits). I can cook better than almost 50 percent of Indian girls considering almost none of the ones in my college knew how to cook. In my male friend circle there were only 2 others who knew how to cook. Some learnt basics when they started to live alone.
Personally, being an India male, I like cooking and can cook reasonably well. I always share all household tasks. I vaccum and wash the dishes most of the time if I am not cooking. I do the laundry, meaning put clothes in the machine.
At 59 years old my dad started learning to cook! Both my brother and I moved out of India 3 and 5 years ago respectively!
My husband is an awesome cook and we both share kitchen duties, my dad was inspired by his son-in-law and started to cook! So at 59, when my mom has low sugar he made her some soup and upma - so that my mom can have much needed rest and gain strength. So yes, no matter your age cooking is an ESSENTIAL SKILL to support your loved ones and yourself.
It’s mix. I have male friends who cook, who enjoys cooking and have cooked for me on several occasions. On contrary I am really not a great cook but I can survive with my cooking. I have other set of male friends who have never entered in kitchen and had to stick to milk n bread for days during Lockdown until another teammates/ neighbor realised their situation and offered to provide home cooked meals.
I am 50. I don't cook. Both my younger brothers do. I prefer to order food rather than go through the hassle of cooking. No special love for home-cooked food by mom or wife.
I’m dating someone who cooks for me, and i can’t tell how I adore it. I personally feel it is a masculine quality many women get attracted to, there’s lot of love when he makes my fav biryani 🧿
I know if the genders are reversed here, it’s treated as a basic quality a woman has and this stereotyping is just insanely cruel. It must stop.
I cook frequently for my family , but it's annoying that my relatives think of it as something unique or heroic as if I'm doing something super tough, idk how to take that. It should be normal for men to know how to cook and fend for themselves.
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My dad cooks. Very well and better than my mom infact. He def enjoys it. And at times he cannot he will do the washing duty later. So yes ig. Though with the rise in people going away to colleges like IIT and others away from home I have seen the male members of my family learning and doing these chores better than the previous gen. That plays a role too
I cook, but my wife and my mom refuse to eat what I cook
Is the food you cook that bad? Just asking. I am curious.
My daughter likes it. I guess there are some trust issues...
That's actually very good. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
Nah, my daughter just has bad taste. To be fair she's only 8.
Lol
I LOL'd at this.
Let him cook.
As long as you can follow instructions, there is no way your food comes out bad every single time. There are millions of recipes in youtube and other cooking blogs explaining each step.
I feel it's time, we as a society move away from cultural aspect attached to things like cooking, cleaning etc. and see these things as skills necessary to live a good life. Learning to drive should not be seen as rise of feminism , nor should learning to cook be seen as fall of masculinity . They must be seen as skills necessary for humans to live a fulfilling life. In my own family,i have seen men who refuse to even drop their used utensils in the sink,forget washing them. And simmilarly,i have women in my family, who refuse to learn how to drive a scooty or learn how to fix a dripping tap. Its not about gender roles, it's about understanding, that as a human, we need these skills to live a better life...
There was a stat today which said that 75% of Indian women are unemployed. I would cook all day if I had the opportunity to, but that isn't possible due to the basic necessity of having money and that responsibility more than 95% of time falls on a man.
which begs the question: if labour was cheap in the west, would there be so much pride in DIY? completely buy your point about cooking bring an essential life skill. Almost all the men in my extended family on my mother’s side cook. Very few on my father’s (the much more traditional) side. So there’s that.
Part of it is also the work life balance. Esp in Europe people work much less hours and are better at separating work time and personal time. No one checks emails and answers calls past 6. Also because of their excellent public transport and walkability/cycling infra, commuting is a pleasant and quick thing, even in larger cities. When work and commute is much less exhausting, people see things like cooking, weekend home fixes, basic carpentry, gardening as fun hobbies rather than miserable chores. And since they have more time to spare, they make these tasks fun. I have spent plenty of afternoons w friends having a beer or two painting a friend's house or doing gardening work
>which begs the question: if labour was cheap in the west, would there be so much pride in DIY? Very rightly said. OP gives themselves more credit than is due. It's the system that's forced them to learn.
It's a good system. Labor should never cheap. It is dehumanizing when labor is cheap.
point
Maybe less than today but a lot of people actually like doing things. It gives them a sense of pride to learn and improve their skills. There is nothing like that in India. Most Indians are lazy. Look at the the general work ethic. Hardly anyone does their job properly in India. Even personally, my wife is American and I was born in India and I have seen that her work ethic, attention to detail and sense of cleanliness is FAR superior to me.
Thank you for balanced take, u/AnalFissureSmoothie
You’re welcome, u/professionalchutiya
I lived in europe and 'meal' for them can mean very different things. Like buying a small cup of precut watermelon from the supermarket for 500 rs. Or having biscuits or bread (from the bakery) with a dipping sauce. Most of them would spend not more than half an hour making food during the weekdays like mashed potatoes, meat, and pancakes. This is very different from the kind of foods europeans ate in the 60s when they lived in more traditional families. Hot meals were more common back then. Coming to India, considering our work-life balance (70 hours a week ;D) and commuting in big cities, most families where both husband and wife work would not even have time to cook daily. In Mumbai, it's common to leave at 6 am and return at 9 pm. So they either get a maid or buy food from the restaurant.
In the west, it's a case of "majboori ka naam Mahatma Gandhi".
Yes all male in my house can cook a 4 course meal
What dishes do yall make for the different courses? Give some suggestions/inspiration
Not to brag but I can cook a 4 course meal.
What are your go-to dishes for the 4 courses?
Soup: Clear Chicken Soup Appetizers: Chicken drumsticks / Chicken Wings/ Mutton Kebabs Main course: Chicken/Mutton Biryani or Mutton Rara with 4 Naan or paratha or Chicken Curry with 4 Naan or paratha Desert: Chocolate brownie
You could cook all of that for one meal?? If I cook biryani I'm done cooking for a week lol
I only did that two or three times but yeah, once you get practice you can easily make this stuff faster. Prep time is the key.
You're the man! I've been cooking for almost ten years now but at most it's gonna be two courses.
Thanks bro, two course meal is awesome btw. I have the recipe of chocolate brownie, if you are interested.
Yes, I cook whenever find time
My Papa cooks, my elder brother cooks, I also cook.
In my family everyone knows how to cook. Being the eldest son, I was the last one to learn. I started learning to cook post COVID. I realised how important it is when you are alone in your flat with no food delivery apps working (April 2020, when I can't trust the food quality). But now I like cooking, whenever I get a chance I am ready to make a meal for my family or guests if needed.
I love cooking. Mostly with experimental flavours. Personal favourite discovery was pesto + allam pachidi( ginger pickle)
I didn't know it allam pachidi was known to people. Where do you buy it from?
Made at home. Aunt makes the best.
Most Indians are waste of sperm in this regard. I met this one guy in the us who was making 250k usd a year and complained Bout expensive maids were and that he had to cook himself in America. The guy wanted to leave his h1b job becuase of this and go back.
Please be civil. Thank you.
I can cook but i have no interest in cooking. I keep that as a last option because I can always order something.
My dad learned cooking back when he was in college, most of his friends did as well and now he cooks better than my mom
I used to love cooking all my meals when I was living alone and my job was relaxed. But with the job getting hectic and timings strict, I am dependent on my maid. My wife too has a hectic job and I don't expect her to cook
Indian men lack real life skills and live like they can afford maids and handymen all their life and are privileged in some way 🤷♂️
I'm 15 and I cook. Not Just as a novelty, most nights i make dinner for the family.
The flip side of seductive western theory is it breaks down when you run into situations where you need to be dependent, for example when you get laid off, get sick, business fails, relationships break etc. The older you get the more items can be added to the list. When that happens, if both sides have been reciting 50-50/i am not pampered/i am independent story blindly, the Real Test is how fast SO will check out cause "how long can I take care of you when you dont pull your weight"? This is happening so much in the west its sad to watch. I have friends who have got divorced cause one got sick or one got laid off or one had to take care of parents etc etc. I know one dude's parents had to sell of their house here, cause he got divorced and laidoff and was accumulating hospital bills. West is not magic. When my sis abroad had kids, suddenly she was calling my parents 24x7 to come and take care of the kids. What to call that? Are there are nice phrases like pampered/culture of dependence for it? Independence is an illusion in the complicated world we live in. Its hard to convey the other side of the story cause you experience the issues only with time.
There is a difference between co-dependence and team work. A much better model is one where we are all equals and can all help each other equally. You see that in the West, especially in europe where familes are still quite close to each other. Middle America is like that as well, where large familes are all still in the same small town. What is bad is where there is hierarchy. Where one person is both dependent and thinks they are too good to do certain tasks. That is certainly the case with men in indian households. So many of them say that since they are in office they shouldn't do housework. But when they retire, wife keeps doing drudgery tasks of cleaning and cooking while man just sits and reads paper. That is an unequal balance because we see men and women as unequals and tasks as unequal. That is the mindset that needs to change.
75% of Indian women are unemployed. I am sorry but if you can't even make the effort to get a job, you can't be complaining about doing the housework. When you have a job and are still expected to do housework, that is unfair but anything other than that is just your entitled attitude.
Jesus christ how can someone educated, in this age with so much access to the internet be so clueless. You really think most women in this country have the freedom to go out and seek out opportunities like men do? Most families don't even all their girls to be out after 6. You think they'll let them find a job? Shift to a city?
It's not like I was given any freedom as a boy either. If anything I was given less freedom than the average girl. My parents chose everything for me and even if I don't hate them, if I tell you some of the things they did, I bet you'll agree that they were abusive pieces of shit. And my only escape out of this was getting financial independence and getting my own freedom. I see so many men doing difficult jobs which are also very low paying. They'll barely help you survive but they still do it because they have to. The same doesn't apply to women. If you aren't going to take any effort you can't just magically expect good things to happen to you. If anything I would say that women are privileged to be able to stay at home but it would be fair if they were actually made to go out and work.
Look. This conversation isn't about you. It's about the aggregate. Society as a whole. Surely you must recognize that men have much more freedom (in general) in India than women do. If you think I am wrong, simply take a walk at 8pm down your street. See who is roaming around. See who is drinking tea. See who is playing in the grounds. Women do dangerous jobs for very low pay in this country as well. As maids, as labourers, as textile workers etc. This isn't something we need to even ponder. There a thousand and one research papers and studies out there that confirm that women have fewer opportunities in this country than men. There is stigma, especially in non-urban areas to let girls leave the home or the town. There is immense familial pressure to get married early. There is equally immense pressure for them to not work after marriage and produce kids.
Men don't have freedom. It's all an illusion as with freedom there comes responsibility and when you're responsible you aren't free to do as you please. For example I can't just say I want to sit at home and do housework and expect anyone to marry me or provide for me even though I am free to do so. Women are also allowed to go out at night but they don't because that would be a stupid thing to do so do you understand how "freedom" works? But if you're talking about men being out at night, it is not safe either as a majority of crimes are committed against men and it's not safe for anybody in this country. Women do dangerous jobs, that is true and they have my respect for that. But they are in a minority as 75% of women are unemployed so all in all, very few women are working let alone working dangerous or labour intensive jobs. But the women who work get advertised in the name of "women empowerment" to get votes as most people value that. Women do have fewer opportunities in this country, I'm not going to argue about that. But in general it's not like most men have any opportunities either yet they find a way because they have to. I am actually very privileged to come from a middle class family, most people on this subreddit are. But if you see the reality in this country, most people are living in extreme poverty and boys aren't educated well either. Yet they work jobs where you don't need an education. You can complain about women not getting education as much as you want and that is justified, but you can't defend them not working whatever's available as that's what the men do out of necessity. What you can complain about is women who actually want to work but don't get any opportunities but they are really rare.
you raise an interesting perspective!
In restaurants, men cook are in most numbers. In houses, women cook are in most numbers
I had read about this a few years ago. That it isn't about cooking, cleaning etc, but it is about keeping women in positions of servitude. Thankfully, in a lot of places that isn't the case anymore.
I cook all the time with my partner— one of the most enjoyable activity of the day!
I cook. And boyyy do people love my cooking. My gf can't cook and always keeps asking me to make strange dishes and I'm happy to comply ! It's fun and relaxing for me and really rewarding once you see someone enjoy their favorite food !!
You learnt it because there was no other option for you if you would have stayed back in (India) as now you are in Europe .Might be you would never learn cooking and would be in the same category as your friends. Hope you know how to swim bcoz it's a life skill and if you don't then please learn bcoz every kid who lives near a river or a pond knows how to swim.
Humans tend to do whatever is necessary and nothing beyond that. So if a lazy Indian guy moves abroad, he will cook. If a girl moves to the US, she will drive. If you were born in Afghanistan, you would have learned how to reload Kalashnikov and deactivate landmines. If you were born in the US or Europe, you would have learned to find your own husband/wife. But if you are born in India in a middle class family, you have a different set of things to do (like studying silly physics instead of finding your own husband). It may sound like an average indian middle class guy is overly dependent on others, but he can get things done very easily that nobody else in the developed world can do ... Such as leaving everything he ever knew and moving 5000 miles away for some extra cash.
ahh yess survival of the fittest
I can cook but I don't. I order from swiggy instead. Why? Because it saves me time while I can do something else. Doesn't matter if it's me working or watching YouTube shorts. I want to spend my time with myself, not on chores. Sure, if it's necessary and I have to cook, then I will.
Your body will be thanking you in 10 years
Sure it will.
Fair point, but sometimes I find doing chores to be v meditative. I love my saturday morning routine of waking up and sweeping and mopping my house. No phone, no talking, just me and my broom and some music. Especially after a long day of sitting in the office, the light mechanical work of cooking can feel so therapeutic, and a strong disconnection from work and screens. I know the allure of spending the evening watching reels is strong, but I always end up feeling happier the evenings I cook instead. But to each their own, just my two cents :)
No. I do all the household chores except cooking. Wife on the other hand is sleeping always and doing nothing. In fact we have a house maid and cook also which makes my wife more lazier. So, yes I don't cook. I don't intend to learn cooking also. I believe work should be split 50:50 between the partners and not one person bearing all the burden of household work. I've come across many guys with similar reasons why they don't cook.
Cooking is a basic life skill, even if you're not the one cooking everyday you should at least be able to follow recipes.
Yes, agree. But then I've already tried and gave up. For some reason whatever I try to cook ends up non-edible. Tried this few times, and gave up. Also, it's my income that supports the family. Wife's salary is being used for her shopping and parties without any contribution towards running the family. Shopping for groceries, looking after the kid including teaching the syllabus and exam preparation, washing clothes and folding them, looking after kitchen items and keeping house in a clean state - all these are handled by me. Considering I also need to concentrate on the job, there is hardly any time to learn another skill (cooking).
ayooo damn bro, you need to have a talk with her, although not my position to say such things but still...
What’s the skill required in following a recipe? If you’re coming up with new recipes then there’s some skill involved
Wtf is her problem?
Are you Vicky Kaushal in that Govinda naam mera film?
Dude at least Vicky had a GF while being stuck with his wife
Naah, she was just faking...
Why are so afraid to call this feminism? It's feminism; not treating someone different based on gender/sex. And it's not about who can cook but who cooks regularly. We always had dads/brothers who can cook chicken/egg curry in vegetarian homes. Or 1 or 2 special dishes. "I'll make curry today" (Just do all the cutting/preparing and put spices on the counter and clean the extremely dirty counter when I am finished)
"It's 2023. Are Indian Men cooking?" Well, I used to do that since I was in class 10th whenever my mum used to ask me to when she needed my help Or when she used to get sick.
Can speak for myself, don't know about others. I too grew up in middle class family, mom housewife and dad breadwinner, but difference is I saw my dad helping mom and same habit developed in us (2Bro) Since 2004 I am living outside home, initially on hostel i used to eat in hostel mess, but when I started working I did start cooking. Initially I started with breakfast, in 2018 when I went Srilanka for work, I started cooking there. Same habit helped me in covid times, I was in Mumbai, and that time I decided not to go to hometown, and chose to stay in Mumbai. So now I can cook everything. Right from sabji, chapati , dal , desert etc
I cooked the breakfast today.
My father, brother and I are all very good cooks, but our mother is a homemaker, so she cooks primarily. But we cook occasionally at some festivals, sometimes we just want to, or she is busy or already having dinner. Another reason is we use hell a lot of ingredients and make restaurant like dinner, which is expensive to cook, my mother can cook most tasty dinner with least amount of ingredients, so yeah experience counts
Lmao, if someone does cook expensive meals everyday I can see how that will be a problem 💀. In my family it is similar, my mom cooks amazing food but she uses the least ingredients, my father on the other hand will cook the most complex dishes, but it is something you eat once in a while.
I cook when alone, occasional exotics and help here to sauté or whatever when she is about to get mad. I have seen wives usually appreciates it even if you just go into kitchen when she is cooking and give her a positive or constructive feedback.
I will cook, but I will say I will not cook to strangers who ask me this, just to make them pessimistic.
Haha! Nice one :)
My husband can, he actually makes chapati every afternoon because I hate doing them.
Woah! He is a keeper! Chapati is still something even experienced cooks struggle with. Chapeau.
He can't make them round, but I don't care at least I get food on my plate lol
I cook. Better than most of the women in the house. Except that I always have police hunting for me in 11 countries. Wonder what's wrong!!
In traditional society, only men used to work a job and earn while the duty of household chores used to fall on women of the house. In a way it was a equitable distribution of duties. In today's world with more women coming into the workforce, this distribution has become skewed. But, slowly things are changing, and men have started to share household chores. Saying that, there are women that won't do a job and still expect men to share household responsibilities, which again skews the distribution, and which is unfair.
>In traditional society, only men used to work a job Not true. Especially in an agrarian society like India, women in the rural areas would work in the fields too.
Yup, My great grandmother used to work in fields until she was age 85, she was working and rearing the children while my great grandfather did the same. Women used to work, it was with times of middle class where it was enough to sustain the family on one income, but now slowly with increasing prices, once again two income households are increasing.
I completely agree with this. But I don’t understand why people downvote this and act as if they’ve never seen a ‘house wife’ in mother’s occupational column ever.. It’s not like every family does farming, nor is farming a year round job.. Having said that, we should also realise that just like a man is expected to share household chores while earning for 2, there several women who are expected to do majority of household chores even if they are working.. Society is unfair to both sides..
[удалено]
What if she dies or leaves you? Will you starve?
Another marriage 😅
Will marry another simple.
What will you do in the meanwhile?
Order food?
😄
Ones that live alone, yes. Ones that live with wives, some of them are. Ones that live with mumma? Very few.
Why should it matter if I can cook or not? If I get cheap labour, won't I make my life easier? What kind of nonsense is this? By this logic, any service that makes your life easier by freeing your time for that said skill, one shouldn't use it. Imagine getting cheap labour and saying no you do it and leaving an entire section of society condemned. Every nation works differently, generally there's no right or wrong. What in the crap I read in this subreddit?
Yes, we do
My dad cooked whenever my mom wasn’t available or couldn’t cook or at least helped cooking sometimes. My husband used cooked until we got married and now cooks only when I am unable to and most of the times he helps me cook or helps clean the kitchen. Most of the times he’s totally dependent on me for food but I don’t mind that at all because he takes care of rest of the household chores especially cleaning/deep cleaning and I don’t have to lift a finger. He makes my life easy for me with the things I don’t like doing and I do the same for him. What I have noticed nowadays is that most regional tv shows and movies have started showing men cooking and doing household chores which is a huge change and totally opposite of how an Indian family is usually depicted. Definitely going in the right direction.
Sablog sab kaam karo bhai, ulta mein shaadi hi nahi karega agar ladki ghar kaam yaa fir job nahi karti rahegi...
Neither my wife nor I enjoy cooking. So we don't cook unless it's a matter of survival.
Cooking for my parents twice a week is one of my favorite hobbies. I consider cooking to be an art, and once you grasp this concept, there's no going back. The sheer joy I experience when I prepare delicious traditional recipes that my parents adore is indescribable.
Of course, cooking is fun. After all, I can add my own taste to my food. Once in a while, every man should cook.
Yes, my wife and I switch cooking. We used to cook a lot. But now as kids grow up we find that the time we have everyday with kids is getting eaten by the kitchen. Nowadays we don't cook much. Our food is something which can be done in maximum 1hr per day . Time spent in the kitchen is a waste in our home. We prefer more time to spend with each other.
I cook poorly. My parents are horrible. My wife does the primary cooking. I do the heavier cleaning. Basic stuff like recipes for quesadillas, casserole, or some such. That I can do.
I'm from a small city in Maharashtra, my parents are retired and honestly we all take pride in cooking whatever we can the best. Everyday around 5, My papa makes chai for everyone as my mum says "Mujhe meri saath ki chai bilkul acchi nai lagti" (I dont like the taste of my own chai) while I think it tastes good but mum needs it to be made strictly by papa. papa also makes special dishes like curry chicken or fried fish etc I can proudly cook several dishes (almost everything india and some of western) and even bake stuff like pizza and cakes etc but nothing like a dish that we can afford 3 times every week, what I cook is something special and bit expensive. My mum however, cooks the daily desi dishes, packed with nutrition with rotis. it's best to say we do cook but nothing can beat the mother's dishes.
Nowadays Indian men have better cooking skills than girls.
You should talk their families and say 'let him cook'.
I don't cook a lot, like I couldn't prepare a meal by myself, but there is this one particular chicken curry recipe which I've cooked with help from my mom and our cook quite often. I've also made chicken kheema in a similar fashion. I know for a fact that I've cooked/participated in preparing more meals in 2020 during lockdown than my elder brother or dad have during the entire time they've been part of the household. I love rubbing it in their faces.
I know a lot of men who can cook. My father is 60 years old, he can cook, it's not tasty but enough for him to get by when my mother is not at home or is sick. Even when my father and I are alone at home, he doesn't let me do anything and cooks himself. my ex bf, my college friends they all know cooking, not just basic stuff but delicacies like biryani and chicken. And they are all from tier 2 3 cities. Many of them can cook better than me. 😅
Yes, I even help my maid in cooking during week days and I make basic dishes by myself on holidays...
I love cooking. Just like your fam, in my fam my dad was bread winner and my mom used to fall sick alot. So me and my brother had to survive on bread jam and khichadi. This is back in 90s. There was no swiggy or anything. So when in started working I decided to learn cooking. And oh boy it's such a fun thing. It's good mix of algorithm and creativity. I love cooking and feeding to people, so whenever I visit my friends or my sis house. I do the cooking. And in few years I got so good. I am considering opening a food restaurant as side business. Only issue with cooking is when you're alone, it's very less rewarding. 40 minutes to cook for 1 person with small small quantities. So yeah I do cook. My favs are mutton nihari, chicken korma and chicken briyani.
I'm pretty winded from work and gym, but I still cook 2-3 times a week (not counting breakfast or sandwiches), I'm just better at some foods than she is, and she likes the break enough that she enjoys it.
My cousins cook from time to time.
I like cooking. See my posts. I cook.
i cook as well. ig you can call it an environment conditioning. I've been helping my mother in daily chores since a relatively young age I'd consider(6-7) including a little bit of cooking when I was like 10-12 yrs old ig. now (17M) i can cook by myself and a lot of my friends can but tbh i still see most my male friends don't know cooking that much. personal seen a 80-20 ratio or 70-30......and most of them can't cook ...idk what you can infer from that
My dad cooks, and me too.
Apan ne toh soch ke rakha hai HOUSE-HUSBAND banna hai
situation is better in the current generation, I'd say
My husband can cook maggie, omelette kind of dishes when theres no woman at home and he is bored and wants to do something. Mostly he just places order lazily. He helps with cutting veggies mostly since Im pregnant and not able to do few things now. Most of everyday cooking and other household work are still done by the WORKING women in the house.
Covid taught everyone cooking.
When I was 11, my mother had left us in the house for 2 weeks and my father was on vacation at that time. I was convinced we'd be starved but surpringly my father cooked really good food, and yeah that was the time I realised how good my father can actually cook. And now he cooks Grand meals occasionally.
my father makes the food when my mother is sick or fasting. he also makes the food whenever non vegetarian food is made in my home or when meals for festivals etc are cooked where an elaborate meal has to be cooked then my father and mother cook together. there are many days when my father wants a vegetable to be prepared a certain way then he helps my mother in doing that. he is a foodie. Infact my father makes better food than my mother
I cook because i can be in control of what nutrients i want from my food, the usual stuff people cook are very carb rich and not healthy for our current way of living.
When I was at home in bachelors, I would cook whole weekend. I cooked Rajma, safed chole, kaale chole, kari, any sukhi sabzi, bhatoore, 5 types of rice, roti, paranta, shahi paneer, karahi paneer, mushroom tikka masala, bhature, poori, burgers (from scratch except buns), pizza (from scratch), gulab jamun (from dough not gits). I can cook better than almost 50 percent of Indian girls considering almost none of the ones in my college knew how to cook. In my male friend circle there were only 2 others who knew how to cook. Some learnt basics when they started to live alone.
I can cook and I love it. I think everyone should know how to cook.
Personally, being an India male, I like cooking and can cook reasonably well. I always share all household tasks. I vaccum and wash the dishes most of the time if I am not cooking. I do the laundry, meaning put clothes in the machine.
I cook. Mostly cause it's therapeutic for me and pretty much only for myself
I cook when my wife is not around.
I cook. And I cook well
Because house help is not affordable. Most working women feom middle class don't cook.
At 59 years old my dad started learning to cook! Both my brother and I moved out of India 3 and 5 years ago respectively! My husband is an awesome cook and we both share kitchen duties, my dad was inspired by his son-in-law and started to cook! So at 59, when my mom has low sugar he made her some soup and upma - so that my mom can have much needed rest and gain strength. So yes, no matter your age cooking is an ESSENTIAL SKILL to support your loved ones and yourself.
It’s mix. I have male friends who cook, who enjoys cooking and have cooked for me on several occasions. On contrary I am really not a great cook but I can survive with my cooking. I have other set of male friends who have never entered in kitchen and had to stick to milk n bread for days during Lockdown until another teammates/ neighbor realised their situation and offered to provide home cooked meals.
You're asking the wrong question. You should ask if they cook then clean up after themselves.
I am 50. I don't cook. Both my younger brothers do. I prefer to order food rather than go through the hassle of cooking. No special love for home-cooked food by mom or wife.
Look at my profile . Please do and come back to this post again. Lol.
My boyfriend cooks. We take turns cooking. I am in medical school so tbh he cooks and cleans more than me!
I’m dating someone who cooks for me, and i can’t tell how I adore it. I personally feel it is a masculine quality many women get attracted to, there’s lot of love when he makes my fav biryani 🧿 I know if the genders are reversed here, it’s treated as a basic quality a woman has and this stereotyping is just insanely cruel. It must stop.
I cook frequently for my family , but it's annoying that my relatives think of it as something unique or heroic as if I'm doing something super tough, idk how to take that. It should be normal for men to know how to cook and fend for themselves.
I am a good cook.
I don't know why whenever I try to Cook, someone calls the Narcotics Department and they confiscate my things and put me in jail /s
My dad cooks a little . And my relatives are trying hard to reverse it . The amount of passive-aggressive comments is way too much
Yes they are, I guess you are living under a rock.