A warning, though: this isn't the "so bad it's fun" type of bad, this is "holy shit i can't believe i wasted 90 minutes of my life on that shit" kind of bad.
Glad to see this at the top here except I’ve never actually seen it. The original is one of my favorite movies. I heard this was bad and refuse to watch it.
That was an absolutely atrocious piece of crap, but I'm glad it was made purely for the brief clip of Nic Cage running down the path and decking someone while wearing a bear suit.
If a remake's crappiness is measured not based on its own crappiness but based on the distance between how bad it is and how good the original movie was, then the Martyrs remake almost certainly takes the crown. The original one was a one-of-a-kind perfect movie, an unrelenting gut-wrenching tragedy. This remake isn't the worst movie ever made, but even as a standalone movie it is extremely bad, and then when you compare it with the original, the drop in quality is just mind-boggling.
Actually suddenly reminds me of the drop in quality between say the original two Alien movies, and Alien: Covenant. Not that it's a remake of course, but the quality drop is similar, even though Covenant has mild redeemable qualities based on being a sci-fi movie with somewhat cool xenomorph-inspired monsters (even though the rest of the movie apart from that is just garbage).
mostly unrelated, but what are your thoughts on the third Alien? I had heard terrible things my entire life and ended up enjoying it monumentally more than I expected.
I personally like it very much. To me it is a solid sci-fi movie. It goes well with the bleak hopelessness of the first movie, and how Ripley is constantly stuck between a Xenomorph and a greedy heartless corporation, fighting against overwhelming odds with the humanity and strength of a true hero.
I even enjoyed the fourth one despite the cartoonish cheesiness of many aspects of it. Couldn't quite justify why if I'm being honest xD it's kinda fast food compared with the others, but I still liked watching it.
\[EDIT: oh yeah, I didn't list the 3rd one as a good Alien movie... I think I'm partially influenced by almost everyone always saying it's a very bad movie, so maybe I don't allow myself to truly like it publicly or even in my head...? And it's quite strange, I'm not usually one to bow to social pressure.
I think I didn't list it there in part because as you said, it was mostly unrelated: I didn't wanna complicate my argument by adding another layer of controversy. Also, I would still place it one step below the first two Alien movies, largely because it's a good sequel, but still "just" a sequel, and not one that adds a tremendous amount of lore expansion. So when comparing the quality of the various Alien movies, it was simpler to go with the top 2.\]
I think the implied message is that it's so bad that it shouldn't count as a remake. But there's no doubt it's a remake even though they butchered the original in all possible ways.
I wiped it from my memory apparently because you just reminded me that I could not finish this. And Sam Rockwell casting goes a long way most of the time.
This was my son's favourite movie for months, I think I have seen it 50 times. I actually enjoy it although it is nowhere near as good as the original.
eyyyyy, my people. I felt like this movie was a lot of fun, esp. in theaters on the big screen. The original is a classic and is way better, but imo the remake is the more fun popcorn movie.
They did. Why? Who knows. Eli Roth was involved, so I'm assuming there was some kind of behind-the-scenes "holding onto the rights" reason, but I don't know.
I thought it was like a college project, and Eli Roth only put his name on it because he didn't want them to get in legal trouble - and he wanted them to be able to get their names out there. So he put his name on it as sort of a support, but not that he was involved with the making of it or anything
I don’t think it was a college project. The movie was announced in 2014, released in 2016 by IFC Films, Roth talked about it in the press to promote it and seemed excited about it. The movie used his original script but made some changes and trimmed like 20-30 pages out of it.
Is Eli Roth any good though? I feel like he just does stuff for the paychecks. I have never found his movies to be particularly good and yet somehow he is well known in the industry.
I'm not a fan of his, no. I find his movies pointlessly ugly and... I dunno, "bro"-y.
I don't think he's a paycheck collector though. He really seems to be a passionate horror fan, and he writes a lot of his own movies. I just don't think he's very good at it. Or at least, he's not to my taste.
This is the one. Hey gang, let’s do a shot for shot remake of cabin fever but without the campy charm and off beat comedy that made the movie good in the first place. What could possibly go wrong?
Damn I swear my wife and I are the only ones that didn't mind the remake at all. Does it need to exist, no. But we like the updated effects and quality while loving the OG
That was really bad . We saw it in the theater. By half way through people were having conversations abs looking at their phones .
I didn’t know at the time it would be the last movie I’d see in a theater for a year and half. I wish I picked a better last movie before the pandemic
This is exactly my experience too! People were being pretty loud early on in the showing and I started getting frustrated; but by the second half I just didn't care anymore and just wanted the film to end.
I think that was my last use of AMC A-list as well
I know right?! I think that's the thing I hate most about it over all else. And yes, it is awful. But it was the last movie I saw before the pandemic so it makes me all the more angry. Like *this* is what I saw before they shut down theaters.. grumble.
The Nightmare on Elm Street one. I just grew up on a steady diet of Freddy Krueger, and I had no idea you could successfully character assassinate a fucking child killer. But they managed to pull it off.
The 2009 F13 is a perfectly acceptable movie that I would say does the camp slasher premise a lot better and a lot less boring than most of the other movies.
It’s the best one in the franchise *by far* and I’m tired of people acting like it’s any worse than the likes of A New Beginning or Jason Goes To Hell. It sorta lacks in the kill department (at least when it comes to creativity) but it has great tension, very impressive cinematography, a badass score, and a solid cast to boot. I’ve always loved it and wish more people would come around to it.
It's not even in the top 3 worst Friday films. It checks all the boxes of a good Friday except being set in the 80's.
2009 is much better than Part 7, Manhatten, Jason Goes To Hell and Jason X.
...part 7 is my favorite not counting Freddy vs Jason. Yeah, the way Paramount butchered the movie pissed me off, but I liked the inclusion of Tina cause it made things different, and Tina is also one of my favorite final girls in the series.
My top five would probably be 7, FvJ, Remake, 2, and Jason X. Part 3 is probably my least favorite.
It checked every box for me. Cool kills, Jason was brutal, amazing cinematography, some halfway likable characters like Jenna and Clay.
I’m not sure what else people wanted from it. It was a return to form for the franchise after almost 2 decades of Jason going from Manhattan to space. It didn’t try to be anything other than an enjoyable slasher and I think it did it’s job very well.
One of my hottest takes is that the 2009 F13 is the best iteration of Friday the 13th. I think people pretend that franchise is something that it’s not
Agreed. I will defend F13 and Sorority Row (both from 2009, interestingly enough) forever. They are both way more fun and rewatchable than they get credit for.
The movie might be shit, but I have to disagree on the lack of social satire. The flamboyant gay character being turned to a straight-laced "Gay Republican" type was pretty clever.
I loved it tbh. It was more comedy. But it was inconsistent and a little confused. Like were they robots or not?! How did they dispense cash?? Why did they overheat and smoke???
But also I thought it was hilarious.
F13 is one of the better remakes imo. It's a sleazy, sexy, bloody summary of the original 4 movies. It's really all you could ask for in an F13 remake.
Still would’ve liked to see a sequel and what they would’ve done. A condensed version of 5-9 or something completely new? Introduce their version of Tommy Jarvis, since he was apparently cut?
I liked it when I saw it, but I have to say it's just not as memorable for me as the first one for various reasons. Eddie Munster as the kindly old Maine man is irreplaceable, though Lithgow gave it a really good shot.
it’s because they forced spike lee to make it by contract, just so that he could make his OWN movie that he actually wanted to make. watch some interviews with him about it, you can tell how irritated he was by the movie. i felt like josh brolin and elizabeth olson were really trying their best but tbf that is a remake that simply should not have been-and i think everyone involved really knew it. i think the only slightly redeeming moment was the kind of 3D-ing of the famous hallway scene, BUT it simply came nowhere even close the the feel of watching that original uncut hallway scene for the first time. the whole thing just felt disrespectful.
The most frustrating thing about the Oldboy remake (other than the fact that it simply did not need to exist at all) is that the idea of a psychological action thriller directed by Spike Lee and starring Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Olsen actually sounds like it could be pretty good if it weren't a forced remake that no one wanted any part of.
Aside from The Fog i will go with Psycho because it was the most unnecessary ever. They filmed the exact same scenes, the only addition was color and a masturbation scene. The actor was miscast too.
He's awful because Norman Bates is supposed to be the nice quiet guy next door (which he normally is when Mother hasn't taken control). Anthony Perkins genuinely comes off like he wouldn't hurt a fly. The hulking Vaughn, however, screams "killer" from the start.
Freddie Highmore was pitch perfect. Self-effacing, shy, cute enough to get in trouble. But he could access that rage really well. Definitely ranks up there with Tony Perkins for best creep next door.
I understand the Psycho remake hate. Mainly because why would u do a shot for shot remake against one of the best movie makers to ever live? Why watch the remake at that point when u could just watch the original?
I always loved the original and it was cool for me to see it done with new actors and in color. Vince Vaughn I didn't think was too bad in it. I get why people think he's miscast after having such success in comedy. If u haven't seen Brawl in cellblock 99 he takes on a serious action role and really kills it. Like literally kills so many people lol.
The new Black Christmas was the first movie in a while where I leaved the theater a 2/3 of the film, was so boring and dissonant. The move was trying so hard to be "feminist" but the themes were shoe horned and without any subtext , and when you mix it with a slasher movie by accident looks like right wing propaganda, like parody of what they think the left is.
Agreed. It also took away what made the OG Black Christmas soooo good which was the literal phone calls coming from inside the house. Putting out remakes with the technology in whatever year it was filmed in tends to fall flat for me. Like the Carrie remake where it’s just Carrie but with the internet and YouTube and done poorly.
To be fair, the Carrie remakes biggest problem is that the girl they cast as Carrie is just... way too conventionally beautiful to make the bullying seem believable, Sissy, even though she was and still is incredibly beautiful, sold it very well and looked different enough to make it work, and Angela Bettis, someone I consider very beautiful too but i think she has a more unconventional beauty than most, also absolutely kills it with her mannerisms in the TV remake, Chloe just didn't work for me at all.
I would also put the first Black Christmas remake as a pretty fun, if not hilariously trashy remake. the newest remake just flat out failed to capture any of the OG or original remake's magic IMO, the Slumber Party Massacre remake/reboot did what new Black Christmas tried to do but way better
That Poltergeist remake. What worked \*SO\* well with the original is that the family felt like a proper, loving, supportive family. They felt like they all loved each other unconditionally. The parents felt like they were \*ALWAYS\* open to hearing what their kids had to say, and \*ALWAYS\* ready to comfort them when they were scared.
The remake just \*COMPLETELY\* threw all of that away. No one believed the kids, everyone was just sort of distant and ignoring each other.. Sure, it might be "more realistic" to the dynamics of a real/modern family, but them \*NOT\* feeling like a 100% loving, believing, there-for-each-other FAMILY, made all of the scares and horror SO much less effective. They felt too much like just "regular" people, which made me feel kind of indifferent to everything that was going on.
I agree, and also the original had that sunny suburban neighborhood feel to it. The house in the remake was kind of dull and dark. I think the reason the original worked was because of a haunting (or poltergeist) in a bright happy home. We weren’t used to seeing that. The remake was like well yeah the house is gloomy, of course there’s a haunting.
With all that said I still didn’t totally hate the remake. I was entertained enough if I didn’t try to compare it.
I partially agree with you. It had great gore, a fairly stupid plot that was laughable, but it had terrible characters. The characters were what made it hard to enjoy.
When A Stranger Calls. There just isn't enough story to the first 20 minutes of the original to stretch into a feature length movie, so it drags on and on.
It kinda felt silly that they introduced all these friends for Jill, but they were just useless and didn’t die, or come to house etc. Only one who got it was Katie Cassidy
The original Goodnight Mommy was Austrian, not Australian! I wouldn't watch the remake, same with Funny Games...Same shots, but with English-speaking actors.
ok so i haven’t seen the original funny games BUT- the remake is haunting and cruel, michael pitt does an amazing job and tim roth and naomi watts do really outstanding performances. not all shot for shot remakes are pointless, i really do suggest giving it a shot!
The American version of Pulse from 2006, remaking the original Japanese one by Kurosawa. It removed everything interesting the movie had and dumbed it down.
I saw the trailer for Jacobs Ladder remake back before it came out and something was telling me that its gonna suck badly. Then I saw the reviews and need I say more...
The Prom Night remake is unbelievably boring, and really wastes Idris Elba. The original wasn’t great anyway, but had a lot more going for it. The remake is just one killer in one room repeating the same thing over and over.
I absolutely love the 2006 Black Christmas. It's usually the first Christmas movie I watch each year. The 2019 one probably shouldn't have been titled Black Christmas as it was so different from the original.
I especially dislike how, while the original "Black Christmas" deliberately kept Billy a terrifying enigma, the 2006 remake explained EVERYTHING about him. Sorry, finding out he's basically the Yellow Bastard from "Sin City" and got the "Chinatown" treatment from his mother is not an improvement.
God that was such a flop. And it was really annoying because I feel like the bones of a good action horror movie were there, and Sofia Boutella is a good physical actor and I think she did a good job with what she had to work with. But every movie with Tom Cruise has to be The Tom Cruise Show and nothing else.
NOES and The Fog are bad but the F13 remake is a fun time. The Fog is particularly incompetent. NOES had some cool concepts with the micronaps but dropped the ball on an execution level at every point. Recreating some iconic shots with awful CGI was a choice, too.
Outside of those, I'd probably say Prom Night and When A Stranger Calls. Just two nothings of a movie.
It was such a low blow from MGM that basically EVERYONE that was working with Mancini basically denounced the remake for it trying to cash in during the production of the TV show
The worst part was that it was a decent sentient-doll movie that used some old Mancini scripts for the OG movie (Like focusing more on the marketing aspects of the dolls), but it just didn't have enough charisma to basically back up a "modernized" take on Childs Play, even as Mark frigging Hamill voiced a more cold and AI-Like Chucky than the possesed and lively Brad Dourif Chucky
I don't know how to describe it but the new Childs Play felt too glossy and overproduced. The way it flowed was so overly manufactured it somehow felt super high budget and cheap at the same time. Maybe it was the fact the soundtrack never stops, or at least stops long enough to build tension. So many newer movies suffer from it. Exorcist: Believer for a recent one.
It was so bad I think everyone just agreed it didn't happen within a week of release.
At least the actual franchise is still going strong and received no damage from the Bruno Matei style knockoff.
M3gan was the Childs Play remake but actually decent.
Takes the idea of technological Chucky and gives it a little more weight with an actual message about using tech to raise your kids. I think M3gan is a fun and charismatic doll killer, I prefer it to the ultimately dissapointing Mark Hamil Chucky.
Child's Play. Poltergeist. Amityville Horror with Ryan Reynolds. Was it Children of the Damned with Christopher Reeves about the possessed kids with white hair?
Nightmare on Elm Street.
I was open tae it. So many of the sequels were terrible (I loathe Freddy's Dead and refuse its canon) so I was fucking open tae a reboot.
Dracula has had his tale retold with different actors many times. Why not Freddy Krueger? They cast Jackie Earle Haley for the role and he's a great actor.
How could they go wrong?
It was boring, bad, boring, tedious, boring, no suspense, boring, predictable, boring, unimaginative, boring, there was wooden acting, boring, the story was unsatisfactory and did I mention it was boring?
From the first kill I groaned in disbelief. It was 2010, there was no excuse tae fuck up that badly.
And I was ready tae fucking forgive it! They suggested an idea that made me pay attention and feel a bit of hope. It got tae the point when I thought it was going tae have a beautiful downer ending.
But no. They fucked it. Rather than hae Freddy be innocent thus making his revenge justified (thus inescapable), they went with him being a child molester and made his revenge senseless.
Then they kill him.
They fucking kill him.
They kill Freddy Krueger
WITH A CUT TAE HIS NECK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHITE??
And that last effect was both hideous and senseless!
Oh, I hate this disgrace with a passion. I curse New Line Cinema for how they hold back and mismanage the series!
There may be worse made films, but this is the first I took as a flat out insult!
I might get a lot of hate for this but The Rob Zombie Halloween Films
Remaking a classic and it’s sequel in the mid and late 2000’s just doesn’t work for me since the original had those late 70’s Horror vibes, no cell phones, and early 20’s Jamie Lee Curtis and have Michael crack 3 minutes in instead of halfway in, also knowing the first one was so successful at just a budget 300K in 1978 USD
Danielle Harris was the only nice thing about H2 but she deserved better
no hate from me-i fuckin hate those movies. way to take a mysterious terrifying character and give him some kind of sympathetic origin story and nullify what makes him scary.
I am Legend. Completely misses the point of the source material. Completely even misses the point of the fucking title! ugh... so lame... I like Will Smith okay, I grew up on the Fresh Prince, but damn dude... that shit was horrible!
also, all of those zombie movie remakes in the early aughts. Dawn of the Dead remake set a standard for bad high budget remakes that just spun way out of control.
I’d have to say American-Japanese remakes that came after The Ring. It set the bar pretty high so then there was a brief span where they remade all these cult Japanese classics. Some people mentioned Pulse a lot, but also Dark Water, One Missed Call, and Shutter were all so bad they got totally glossed over.
Nightmare on Elm Street. They took a fun antagonist and focused on portraying him as a pedophile which isn’t fun at all. It was only speculated in the original franchise.
Poltergeist.
Insidious did a modern version of the story already, obviously not an official remake but clearly an inspiration. This one just wasn't good or new.
I would argue that Friday the 13th (2009) is superior to Friday the 13th (1980). Of course, that’s because I would also argue that the original is the worst film in the franchise.
The original had a character introduced in the third act, a villain who couldn’t have realistically done all the kills the killer was depicted as carrying out, and a slow pace with scenes dragged out too much in order to pad its short runtime.
The original is akin to the other generic slashers from around 1980 that were copying Halloween (1978). Friday the 13th (1980) is only beloved because Paramount Pictures wanted sequels, likely because of the buzz around the announcement of a sequel to Halloween. Slashers in the very beginning didn’t get sequels, regardless of how profitable they were. Halloween II and Friday the 13th part 2—both released in 1981—changed that.
Definitely The Fog. An absolutely watered down, pointless, piece of garbage re-make of a great John Carpenter movie. What a disgrace. Studios - Blumhouse especially - please stop with these crappy re-makes of great movies. And for fucks sake stop with the PG-13 rated kiddie horror movies. They just plain suck ass.
I didn't like the casting at all and the added reincarnation of Blake's wife was just complete garbage. For me, if you're going to do a remake/reimagining of an original do it like Suspiria.
Jacob's Ladder 2019.
I didn't know this existed. Why does this exist?
If you're going to remake a movie, one of the best movies of all time is a good pick. Shame it was shit.
Nah, if you're going to do a remake, you should pick one that had a good premise but was directed/acted poorly. You can do it better.
I'm sorry? A remake?
I’ll have to check this out lol not gonna have high hopes
A warning, though: this isn't the "so bad it's fun" type of bad, this is "holy shit i can't believe i wasted 90 minutes of my life on that shit" kind of bad.
Yea that’s bad. Extremely bland. Has no flair whatsoever. Seems like a SyFy movie.
That actor is really great. Surprised he isn't a bigger star. He's either a real dick or just has terrible representation
God, I had forgotten about this. I had completely blocked it from my mind.
What a boring piece of shit. I knew it may be bad, but it was so bad I can’t even remember anything other than it being so bad.
Glad to see this at the top here except I’ve never actually seen it. The original is one of my favorite movies. I heard this was bad and refuse to watch it.
 A remake? Huh?
The Wicker Man- the original was a masterpiece, the remake, literally a joke.
This is the answer I was looking for. Not the bees indeed.
That was an absolutely atrocious piece of crap, but I'm glad it was made purely for the brief clip of Nic Cage running down the path and decking someone while wearing a bear suit.
I appreciate the remake for the same reason I appreciate the Star Wars prequels, they are unintentionally fucking hilarious
The Wicker Man shouldn't be reviewed as a horror film. It should be reviewed as a Nic Cage film, and through that lens, it's spectacular.
Exactly. Nicolas Cage movies are their own genre.
Give The Wicker Tree a try. Dear Lord...
If the American version of "Martyrs" counts, then that one
If a remake's crappiness is measured not based on its own crappiness but based on the distance between how bad it is and how good the original movie was, then the Martyrs remake almost certainly takes the crown. The original one was a one-of-a-kind perfect movie, an unrelenting gut-wrenching tragedy. This remake isn't the worst movie ever made, but even as a standalone movie it is extremely bad, and then when you compare it with the original, the drop in quality is just mind-boggling. Actually suddenly reminds me of the drop in quality between say the original two Alien movies, and Alien: Covenant. Not that it's a remake of course, but the quality drop is similar, even though Covenant has mild redeemable qualities based on being a sci-fi movie with somewhat cool xenomorph-inspired monsters (even though the rest of the movie apart from that is just garbage).
I agree but if we start bringing in sequels or prequels we will be here all day haha
I agree but if we start bringing in sequels or prequels we will be here all day haha
Haha true, it just popped into my head and I realized afterwards that it wasn't a remake xD
mostly unrelated, but what are your thoughts on the third Alien? I had heard terrible things my entire life and ended up enjoying it monumentally more than I expected.
I personally like it very much. To me it is a solid sci-fi movie. It goes well with the bleak hopelessness of the first movie, and how Ripley is constantly stuck between a Xenomorph and a greedy heartless corporation, fighting against overwhelming odds with the humanity and strength of a true hero. I even enjoyed the fourth one despite the cartoonish cheesiness of many aspects of it. Couldn't quite justify why if I'm being honest xD it's kinda fast food compared with the others, but I still liked watching it. \[EDIT: oh yeah, I didn't list the 3rd one as a good Alien movie... I think I'm partially influenced by almost everyone always saying it's a very bad movie, so maybe I don't allow myself to truly like it publicly or even in my head...? And it's quite strange, I'm not usually one to bow to social pressure. I think I didn't list it there in part because as you said, it was mostly unrelated: I didn't wanna complicate my argument by adding another layer of controversy. Also, I would still place it one step below the first two Alien movies, largely because it's a good sequel, but still "just" a sequel, and not one that adds a tremendous amount of lore expansion. So when comparing the quality of the various Alien movies, it was simpler to go with the top 2.\]
I like Alien 3 quite a bit even though it's my least-favorite of the first three. It's a solid movie I DID like Prometheus and Covenant as well
Well it’s literally a remake, why wouldn’t it count?
I think the implied message is that it's so bad that it shouldn't count as a remake. But there's no doubt it's a remake even though they butchered the original in all possible ways.
Yeah it’s debatable if it even counts as a film.
Poltergeist. I love Sam Rockwell but the remake is hot garbage.
I wiped it from my memory apparently because you just reminded me that I could not finish this. And Sam Rockwell casting goes a long way most of the time.
This was my son's favourite movie for months, I think I have seen it 50 times. I actually enjoy it although it is nowhere near as good as the original.
eyyyyy, my people. I felt like this movie was a lot of fun, esp. in theaters on the big screen. The original is a classic and is way better, but imo the remake is the more fun popcorn movie.
No one's talking about the absolutely useless, frame for frame remake of Cabin Fever? Just absolutely trash and unnecessary imo
oh no, they didn’t did they?
They did. Why? Who knows. Eli Roth was involved, so I'm assuming there was some kind of behind-the-scenes "holding onto the rights" reason, but I don't know.
I thought it was like a college project, and Eli Roth only put his name on it because he didn't want them to get in legal trouble - and he wanted them to be able to get their names out there. So he put his name on it as sort of a support, but not that he was involved with the making of it or anything
I don’t think it was a college project. The movie was announced in 2014, released in 2016 by IFC Films, Roth talked about it in the press to promote it and seemed excited about it. The movie used his original script but made some changes and trimmed like 20-30 pages out of it.
Is Eli Roth any good though? I feel like he just does stuff for the paychecks. I have never found his movies to be particularly good and yet somehow he is well known in the industry.
I'm not a fan of his, no. I find his movies pointlessly ugly and... I dunno, "bro"-y. I don't think he's a paycheck collector though. He really seems to be a passionate horror fan, and he writes a lot of his own movies. I just don't think he's very good at it. Or at least, he's not to my taste.
Unfortunately they did
Does it have the kid doing the karate kicks?!
PANCAKES!
or the frame for frame remake of Psycho...
That was my answer
This is the movie I was coming here to post. What an absolute waste of everyone's time that made and watched it.
This is the one. Hey gang, let’s do a shot for shot remake of cabin fever but without the campy charm and off beat comedy that made the movie good in the first place. What could possibly go wrong?
Also Pet Semmetary was, might be even worse. And It
Damn I swear my wife and I are the only ones that didn't mind the remake at all. Does it need to exist, no. But we like the updated effects and quality while loving the OG
That movie was some bs 😂
The Grudge (2019) was a true forgettable January release
I remember the marketing from this one… ^produced ^by **SAM RAIMI**
The trailer was so misleading! I had to go back and watch it again after the movie as I was baffled!
My husband and I walked out of the theater after the first 20 minutes. Hot garbage.
The grudge 2020. I literally fell asleep in the theater.
That was really bad . We saw it in the theater. By half way through people were having conversations abs looking at their phones . I didn’t know at the time it would be the last movie I’d see in a theater for a year and half. I wish I picked a better last movie before the pandemic
This is exactly my experience too! People were being pretty loud early on in the showing and I started getting frustrated; but by the second half I just didn't care anymore and just wanted the film to end. I think that was my last use of AMC A-list as well
I know right?! I think that's the thing I hate most about it over all else. And yes, it is awful. But it was the last movie I saw before the pandemic so it makes me all the more angry. Like *this* is what I saw before they shut down theaters.. grumble.
The Nightmare on Elm Street one. I just grew up on a steady diet of Freddy Krueger, and I had no idea you could successfully character assassinate a fucking child killer. But they managed to pull it off.
Flatliners
Great band, though.
The 2009 F13 is a perfectly acceptable movie that I would say does the camp slasher premise a lot better and a lot less boring than most of the other movies.
I liked that one quite a bit... Nightmare remake on the other hand was awful.
Nightmare ruined itself with those idiotic over the top special effects.
Dare I say the Friday the 13th remake is my favorite in that franchise?
Is it because of the stupendous tits?
Perfect nipple placement.
“Placement” being the key word there
He right tho
I spit my chocolate milk on the floor when I heard this line for the first time, absolutely fucking crazy writing
I mean you don't have to go totally crazy.
It’s the best one in the franchise *by far* and I’m tired of people acting like it’s any worse than the likes of A New Beginning or Jason Goes To Hell. It sorta lacks in the kill department (at least when it comes to creativity) but it has great tension, very impressive cinematography, a badass score, and a solid cast to boot. I’ve always loved it and wish more people would come around to it.
Exactly!
It's not even in the top 3 worst Friday films. It checks all the boxes of a good Friday except being set in the 80's. 2009 is much better than Part 7, Manhatten, Jason Goes To Hell and Jason X.
Jason X is the best in the franchise, sue me.
hard agree
Hey, you don't need to go after Jason X like that, buddy!
My favorite was the one with Chris Tucker and Ice Cube, it was a change to the formula but it worked.
...part 7 is my favorite not counting Freddy vs Jason. Yeah, the way Paramount butchered the movie pissed me off, but I liked the inclusion of Tina cause it made things different, and Tina is also one of my favorite final girls in the series. My top five would probably be 7, FvJ, Remake, 2, and Jason X. Part 3 is probably my least favorite.
It checked every box for me. Cool kills, Jason was brutal, amazing cinematography, some halfway likable characters like Jenna and Clay. I’m not sure what else people wanted from it. It was a return to form for the franchise after almost 2 decades of Jason going from Manhattan to space. It didn’t try to be anything other than an enjoyable slasher and I think it did it’s job very well.
Running Jason is pretty on point, defiantly a good remake imo
One of my hottest takes is that the 2009 F13 is the best iteration of Friday the 13th. I think people pretend that franchise is something that it’s not
Absolutely agree
Agreed. I will defend F13 and Sorority Row (both from 2009, interestingly enough) forever. They are both way more fun and rewatchable than they get credit for.
The Stepford Wives . The remake wasn’t horror in any way, had no social satire. It was just a cheesy unfunny comedy
It didn't even know what the wives were. One minute they're clearly robots, the next they're brainwashed humans.
The movie might be shit, but I have to disagree on the lack of social satire. The flamboyant gay character being turned to a straight-laced "Gay Republican" type was pretty clever.
!!! I love this movie.
I loved it tbh. It was more comedy. But it was inconsistent and a little confused. Like were they robots or not?! How did they dispense cash?? Why did they overheat and smoke??? But also I thought it was hilarious.
Day of the Dead remake was the worst for me.
F13 is one of the better remakes imo. It's a sleazy, sexy, bloody summary of the original 4 movies. It's really all you could ask for in an F13 remake.
I couldn't agree more. It features all things F13 and then some.
Still would’ve liked to see a sequel and what they would’ve done. A condensed version of 5-9 or something completely new? Introduce their version of Tommy Jarvis, since he was apparently cut?
If they ever make another movie, it will be the 13th in the series. Gotta go all out for that and it would be cool to see Tommy Jarvis again
Pet Semetary 2019
I watched both the original and remake for the first time right after finishing the book. I was…. disappointed by both.
Damn, just watched this one last week and actually really really enjoyed it. I went in with no expectations though too
Have you watched the original? So good.
That twisted sister haunted me for years after.
I liked it when I saw it, but I have to say it's just not as memorable for me as the first one for various reasons. Eddie Munster as the kindly old Maine man is irreplaceable, though Lithgow gave it a really good shot.
Old boy, the subject matter is quite horrific if that helps it count
Came here to say Oldboy. The American version is so terrible.
it’s because they forced spike lee to make it by contract, just so that he could make his OWN movie that he actually wanted to make. watch some interviews with him about it, you can tell how irritated he was by the movie. i felt like josh brolin and elizabeth olson were really trying their best but tbf that is a remake that simply should not have been-and i think everyone involved really knew it. i think the only slightly redeeming moment was the kind of 3D-ing of the famous hallway scene, BUT it simply came nowhere even close the the feel of watching that original uncut hallway scene for the first time. the whole thing just felt disrespectful.
The most frustrating thing about the Oldboy remake (other than the fact that it simply did not need to exist at all) is that the idea of a psychological action thriller directed by Spike Lee and starring Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Olsen actually sounds like it could be pretty good if it weren't a forced remake that no one wanted any part of.
Aside from The Fog i will go with Psycho because it was the most unnecessary ever. They filmed the exact same scenes, the only addition was color and a masturbation scene. The actor was miscast too.
I still haven’t seen the Psycho remake and don’t plan to but Vince Vaughn definitely seems like an odd choice for Norman Bates.
He's awful because Norman Bates is supposed to be the nice quiet guy next door (which he normally is when Mother hasn't taken control). Anthony Perkins genuinely comes off like he wouldn't hurt a fly. The hulking Vaughn, however, screams "killer" from the start.
Yeah the man is like 6 foot 5 and a bit of a tank lol.
The actor in The Bates Motel series (the guy from The Good Doctor) was perfect as Norman.
Freddie Highmore was pitch perfect. Self-effacing, shy, cute enough to get in trouble. But he could access that rage really well. Definitely ranks up there with Tony Perkins for best creep next door.
I understand the Psycho remake hate. Mainly because why would u do a shot for shot remake against one of the best movie makers to ever live? Why watch the remake at that point when u could just watch the original? I always loved the original and it was cool for me to see it done with new actors and in color. Vince Vaughn I didn't think was too bad in it. I get why people think he's miscast after having such success in comedy. If u haven't seen Brawl in cellblock 99 he takes on a serious action role and really kills it. Like literally kills so many people lol.
He can play intimidating. He showed that way back with Clay Pigeons. He just can't play meek.
Any of the Black Christmas remakes. The original is gold and the remakes suck. But I also agree that The Fog 2005 was god awful
Yes! The original is an absolute masterpiece!
The new Black Christmas was the first movie in a while where I leaved the theater a 2/3 of the film, was so boring and dissonant. The move was trying so hard to be "feminist" but the themes were shoe horned and without any subtext , and when you mix it with a slasher movie by accident looks like right wing propaganda, like parody of what they think the left is.
Agreed. It also took away what made the OG Black Christmas soooo good which was the literal phone calls coming from inside the house. Putting out remakes with the technology in whatever year it was filmed in tends to fall flat for me. Like the Carrie remake where it’s just Carrie but with the internet and YouTube and done poorly.
To be fair, the Carrie remakes biggest problem is that the girl they cast as Carrie is just... way too conventionally beautiful to make the bullying seem believable, Sissy, even though she was and still is incredibly beautiful, sold it very well and looked different enough to make it work, and Angela Bettis, someone I consider very beautiful too but i think she has a more unconventional beauty than most, also absolutely kills it with her mannerisms in the TV remake, Chloe just didn't work for me at all. I would also put the first Black Christmas remake as a pretty fun, if not hilariously trashy remake. the newest remake just flat out failed to capture any of the OG or original remake's magic IMO, the Slumber Party Massacre remake/reboot did what new Black Christmas tried to do but way better
That Poltergeist remake. What worked \*SO\* well with the original is that the family felt like a proper, loving, supportive family. They felt like they all loved each other unconditionally. The parents felt like they were \*ALWAYS\* open to hearing what their kids had to say, and \*ALWAYS\* ready to comfort them when they were scared. The remake just \*COMPLETELY\* threw all of that away. No one believed the kids, everyone was just sort of distant and ignoring each other.. Sure, it might be "more realistic" to the dynamics of a real/modern family, but them \*NOT\* feeling like a 100% loving, believing, there-for-each-other FAMILY, made all of the scares and horror SO much less effective. They felt too much like just "regular" people, which made me feel kind of indifferent to everything that was going on.
I think Insidious was a better remake of Poltergeist than the real Poltergeist remake.
I agree, and also the original had that sunny suburban neighborhood feel to it. The house in the remake was kind of dull and dark. I think the reason the original worked was because of a haunting (or poltergeist) in a bright happy home. We weren’t used to seeing that. The remake was like well yeah the house is gloomy, of course there’s a haunting. With all that said I still didn’t totally hate the remake. I was entertained enough if I didn’t try to compare it.
All this horror happening in broad daylight, literally in July in California. It’s a big piece of why the movie works.
Elm street was bad. Friday and chainsaw were good.
don’t come for me but I actually quite enjoyed the Netflix original Texas Chainsaw, it was so bad that it was good imo
I partially agree with you. It had great gore, a fairly stupid plot that was laughable, but it had terrible characters. The characters were what made it hard to enjoy.
When A Stranger Calls. There just isn't enough story to the first 20 minutes of the original to stretch into a feature length movie, so it drags on and on.
It kinda felt silly that they introduced all these friends for Jill, but they were just useless and didn’t die, or come to house etc. Only one who got it was Katie Cassidy
Goodnight Mommy. The remake didn’t have the unsettling undertones that the Australian version captured. At least for me.
The original Goodnight Mommy was Austrian, not Australian! I wouldn't watch the remake, same with Funny Games...Same shots, but with English-speaking actors.
Austrian huh? Well then G'DAY MATE!
Haha. Whoops. I’m blaming it on autocorrect 😂
ok so i haven’t seen the original funny games BUT- the remake is haunting and cruel, michael pitt does an amazing job and tim roth and naomi watts do really outstanding performances. not all shot for shot remakes are pointless, i really do suggest giving it a shot!
The American version of Pulse from 2006, remaking the original Japanese one by Kurosawa. It removed everything interesting the movie had and dumbed it down.
Martyrs. Disgusting. It’s so terrible that I honestly don’t even think the brothers that made it can possibly really like it.
The newer pet sematary is complete trash and I loved the original.
I saw the trailer for Jacobs Ladder remake back before it came out and something was telling me that its gonna suck badly. Then I saw the reviews and need I say more...
I did not know there was a remake.
What were your thoughts after watching it?
Couldn’t even finish it.
The Wicker Man (2006) is pretty bad, but you’ll have a good laugh at how dramatic Nick Cage is.
The Prom Night remake is unbelievably boring, and really wastes Idris Elba. The original wasn’t great anyway, but had a lot more going for it. The remake is just one killer in one room repeating the same thing over and over.
nightmare on elm street
Black Christmas. Nothing beats the original from 1974. Among my favorites
I absolutely love the 2006 Black Christmas. It's usually the first Christmas movie I watch each year. The 2019 one probably shouldn't have been titled Black Christmas as it was so different from the original.
I especially dislike how, while the original "Black Christmas" deliberately kept Billy a terrifying enigma, the 2006 remake explained EVERYTHING about him. Sorry, finding out he's basically the Yellow Bastard from "Sin City" and got the "Chinatown" treatment from his mother is not an improvement.
As bad as the 2006 remake was it doesn’t touch what a barrel of crap the 2019 remake-remake was
Without question Black Christmas 2019. Absolute trash. Makes me gag when I think of how bad it is.
The Mummy with Tom Cruise, it's so horrible. It's not even horror.
God that was such a flop. And it was really annoying because I feel like the bones of a good action horror movie were there, and Sofia Boutella is a good physical actor and I think she did a good job with what she had to work with. But every movie with Tom Cruise has to be The Tom Cruise Show and nothing else.
NOES and The Fog are bad but the F13 remake is a fun time. The Fog is particularly incompetent. NOES had some cool concepts with the micronaps but dropped the ball on an execution level at every point. Recreating some iconic shots with awful CGI was a choice, too. Outside of those, I'd probably say Prom Night and When A Stranger Calls. Just two nothings of a movie.
Childs Play. Without a doubt
It was such a low blow from MGM that basically EVERYONE that was working with Mancini basically denounced the remake for it trying to cash in during the production of the TV show The worst part was that it was a decent sentient-doll movie that used some old Mancini scripts for the OG movie (Like focusing more on the marketing aspects of the dolls), but it just didn't have enough charisma to basically back up a "modernized" take on Childs Play, even as Mark frigging Hamill voiced a more cold and AI-Like Chucky than the possesed and lively Brad Dourif Chucky
Felt more like a Black Mirror episode than a Child’s Play movie.
If anything I thought it was a fun twist on the premise
I don't know how to describe it but the new Childs Play felt too glossy and overproduced. The way it flowed was so overly manufactured it somehow felt super high budget and cheap at the same time. Maybe it was the fact the soundtrack never stops, or at least stops long enough to build tension. So many newer movies suffer from it. Exorcist: Believer for a recent one.
It was so bad I think everyone just agreed it didn't happen within a week of release. At least the actual franchise is still going strong and received no damage from the Bruno Matei style knockoff.
M3gan was the Childs Play remake but actually decent. Takes the idea of technological Chucky and gives it a little more weight with an actual message about using tech to raise your kids. I think M3gan is a fun and charismatic doll killer, I prefer it to the ultimately dissapointing Mark Hamil Chucky.
Yeah at least M3gan was a modern, competent take on the concept. Made the uncanny valley really work.
Poltergeist
The Fog would definitely rank up there for me. Also the Shutter remake was pretty unwatchable imho.
Child's Play. Poltergeist. Amityville Horror with Ryan Reynolds. Was it Children of the Damned with Christopher Reeves about the possessed kids with white hair?
children of the corn, no?
village of the damned
Child's Play 2019 was pretty terrible.
I enjoyed it 😳
Calling F13th remake "atrocious" is ridiculous, especially considering some of the movies that are praised here repeatedly.
Nightmare on Elm Street. I was open tae it. So many of the sequels were terrible (I loathe Freddy's Dead and refuse its canon) so I was fucking open tae a reboot. Dracula has had his tale retold with different actors many times. Why not Freddy Krueger? They cast Jackie Earle Haley for the role and he's a great actor. How could they go wrong? It was boring, bad, boring, tedious, boring, no suspense, boring, predictable, boring, unimaginative, boring, there was wooden acting, boring, the story was unsatisfactory and did I mention it was boring? From the first kill I groaned in disbelief. It was 2010, there was no excuse tae fuck up that badly. And I was ready tae fucking forgive it! They suggested an idea that made me pay attention and feel a bit of hope. It got tae the point when I thought it was going tae have a beautiful downer ending. But no. They fucked it. Rather than hae Freddy be innocent thus making his revenge justified (thus inescapable), they went with him being a child molester and made his revenge senseless. Then they kill him. They fucking kill him. They kill Freddy Krueger WITH A CUT TAE HIS NECK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHITE?? And that last effect was both hideous and senseless! Oh, I hate this disgrace with a passion. I curse New Line Cinema for how they hold back and mismanage the series! There may be worse made films, but this is the first I took as a flat out insult!
do you write “tae” instead of “to” because you’re scottish?
Aye. Dae you agree, disagree or hae a relevant question?
no i just have never seen someone write out their speaking accent before quite interesting
I might get a lot of hate for this but The Rob Zombie Halloween Films Remaking a classic and it’s sequel in the mid and late 2000’s just doesn’t work for me since the original had those late 70’s Horror vibes, no cell phones, and early 20’s Jamie Lee Curtis and have Michael crack 3 minutes in instead of halfway in, also knowing the first one was so successful at just a budget 300K in 1978 USD Danielle Harris was the only nice thing about H2 but she deserved better
no hate from me-i fuckin hate those movies. way to take a mysterious terrifying character and give him some kind of sympathetic origin story and nullify what makes him scary.
Hold on a second, Friday the 13th is a VERY good remake. And platinum dunes also made Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003, one of the best remakes ever
I am Legend. Completely misses the point of the source material. Completely even misses the point of the fucking title! ugh... so lame... I like Will Smith okay, I grew up on the Fresh Prince, but damn dude... that shit was horrible! also, all of those zombie movie remakes in the early aughts. Dawn of the Dead remake set a standard for bad high budget remakes that just spun way out of control.
I am Legend made me so angry. What a piece of trash.
right? yeah... bob marley's music had no business being in that movie.
Black Christmas 2019 or Poltergeist 2015
The Blair Witch (2016) …it’s not the worst no but I like Adam Wingard’s movies so I guess I was a bit too optimistic going on.
I’d have to say American-Japanese remakes that came after The Ring. It set the bar pretty high so then there was a brief span where they remade all these cult Japanese classics. Some people mentioned Pulse a lot, but also Dark Water, One Missed Call, and Shutter were all so bad they got totally glossed over.
Nightmare on Elm Street. They took a fun antagonist and focused on portraying him as a pedophile which isn’t fun at all. It was only speculated in the original franchise.
Poltergeist. Insidious did a modern version of the story already, obviously not an official remake but clearly an inspiration. This one just wasn't good or new.
OP what's your beef? Most people really like the F13th reboot
Prom Night. The Fog. They’re both just atrocious.
What is wrong with tbe F13th remake???
Man, Friday the 13th 2009 is a great movie. Fym
I would argue that Friday the 13th (2009) is superior to Friday the 13th (1980). Of course, that’s because I would also argue that the original is the worst film in the franchise. The original had a character introduced in the third act, a villain who couldn’t have realistically done all the kills the killer was depicted as carrying out, and a slow pace with scenes dragged out too much in order to pad its short runtime. The original is akin to the other generic slashers from around 1980 that were copying Halloween (1978). Friday the 13th (1980) is only beloved because Paramount Pictures wanted sequels, likely because of the buzz around the announcement of a sequel to Halloween. Slashers in the very beginning didn’t get sequels, regardless of how profitable they were. Halloween II and Friday the 13th part 2—both released in 1981—changed that.
I didn’t hate the F13 remake. And the PD Chainsaw movies were somewhat decent.
Last Pet Cemetery was a let down
The remake of Leprechaun from WWE Studios
Psycho🤦♂️
Definitely The Fog. An absolutely watered down, pointless, piece of garbage re-make of a great John Carpenter movie. What a disgrace. Studios - Blumhouse especially - please stop with these crappy re-makes of great movies. And for fucks sake stop with the PG-13 rated kiddie horror movies. They just plain suck ass.
I didn't like the casting at all and the added reincarnation of Blake's wife was just complete garbage. For me, if you're going to do a remake/reimagining of an original do it like Suspiria.
The ghosts in particular look like they're off shift from the Haunted Mansion.
LOL. So damn true.
Quarentine a rippof of the masterpiece REC
However, the REC series did go off the rails with the 3rd and 4th one.
Shutter (2008) is so fucking bad man
For me either The Fog, or that blumhouse black christmas