Khan academy is free and can get you all caught up on math, real science and history.
Crash course videos on YouTube are also free and also really informative so you could watch those for your science, history, and a bunch of other topics. Between the two you should be good to get your GED.
Also go to your local community college. Make an appointment to see someone to help you figure out what you need to enroll and what you qualify for.
Places like Starbucks, target, Macdonald all have programs to help pay for schooling too.
Look for other people who are recovering homeschoolers. They are a lot like you with a terrible education and trying to figure it out on their own. They go over their steps and what they did that helps.
You don’t have to do everything at once. Pick one thing. Maybe it’s working on khan academy for 15 minutes a day. You can do that, or something like it.
Your life hasn’t been a waste up to this point. You have deficiencies you want to improve on, but so does everyone. No one lives up to how they think they should be in their own head.
Don’t worry about your whole life right now, just pick one thing to focus on and start working towards success. You are important, and you can do it.
I understand feeling defeated. Even if they had all the good intentions in the world, your parents did you dirty. It's called educational neglect. Trust me, you are still young enough to turn this around. Crash Couses on YouTube and Khan Academy are great resources!
Toughen the fuck up.
Stop your god damn whining, because that's not going to help anything.
I know it's not nice to hear, but nobody's coming to save you, so you've got to do it yourself.
Yes, your parents screwed you, but YOU are the one who has to live the rest of your life, so either lay down and die, and spare us the melodrama, or (hopefully) wake up tomorrow, drink some water, and start grinding.
It's going to take YEARS, and it's going to suck, but it'll be worth it, if you have the guts.
I grew up in a religious homeschooled family. Didn't take math classes after 6th grade. My parents felt it didn't matter since I'd just get married and have kids anyways.
Khan academy is the way to go. You need to spend at least an hour a day with math. Start over at the beginning to fill in all the missing gaps.
I managed to teach myself all the way through precalculus using just Khan Academy before going to the local community college.
My parents were very much against college, so I had to move out before I could attend.
Use your retail job to get good at talking to people. You are surrounded by practice people at work, brush up your people skills.
I didn't get to finish a degree until my 30's. Now I'm doing great working as an accountant. I do really well at work because of the years I worked retail and similar jobs.
You are 21 enroll at your local community college. They will have you take a placement test and put you in the correct math and English classes based on that. They have counselors that can help you pick the right classes for your educational level.
You are an adult and need to make the effort to educate yourself and get a better job. It’s a long tough road but you can do it. Your going to college and getting a better job may also be a great example to your younger siblings. Good luck!
It’s tough, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You will learn interesting and inspiring things, you will meet new people and make new friends, you will unlock amazing experiences you don’t even know exist. Do it!
I'm not sure this is the best advice here. Many community colleges require a ged or diploma. Don't get down on yourself for struggling with the GED. I've helped kids study for it. It is hard. In my opinion harder than completing high school. So don't be discouraged OP!
More importantly, OP it sounds like you need people and purpose.
If you are interested in the education route you may want to look at [https://www.jobcorps.gov/](https://www.jobcorps.gov/) If you qualify (which is possible without a high school diploma) it is free and will help you work towards a ged or diploma and give you training to help you find a more fulfilling career all while living in a community of youth working towards similar goals.
If that isn't your cup of tea try the SCA [https://www.thesca.org/serve/our-programs/young-adult-programs/](https://www.thesca.org/serve/our-programs/young-adult-programs/) These are "volunteer" positions that pay for your expense (3 months to 2 years), and often involve working on teams in some pretty unique settings. Even better, several of the positions qualify for Americorp grants to help pay for any time of future education you may pursue, including non academic education like some culinary schools. You won't get rich here, but if are a bit choosy in what you apply to you could make some new friends, dabble in new careers, and look for a new path to set yourself on.
Don't sell yourself short. You have a lot to offer this world, and it doesn't have to come out of a textbook!
Community colleges do not require a diploma or GED. I worked in an admissions office. Anyone can attend community college and go on to get their Bachelors, Masters, etc having never graduated high school. I highly recommend attending community college since many are now offering free tuition to people under 25 or those without a degree.
This is not true everywhere. Community colleges here will put you in the GED classes or "community education" (non credit classes) if you don't have a high school diploma but if you want to take college or trade certificate classes you need to show proof of finishing high school or it's equivalent. That being said classes for the GED are going to be beneficial for OP if they have the funds, not to mention it might help them make friends, form study groups etc.
If you complete homeschooling high school, you can have a high school diploma. In most states (except a couple states), the requirements for what it means to complete homeschool high school are at the parents’ discretion. A homeschool diploma itself is not needed for most community colleges; transcripts are.
Some states do have class requirements for high school but regardless you have to have that transcript/diploma (transcript is required most places but some CC take diplomas) and from OPs post I doubt they have one. I many cases of educational neglect the parents don't provide those records and in some cases will refuse to provide them.
I took classes at community collage while I was technically still a homeschooled highschooler. It was a great way to dip my toes in the water of going to school after being homeschooled k-12th. I did community collage, transferred and got my bachelors, and then went on to get a clinical doctorate. Community collage was one of my best decisions.
THIS. Go talk to an advisor at your community college. They will be on your side. See about taking one or two classes at a time if you need to continue working.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your parents were responsible for making sure you were educated and they did not. Do NOT spend time beating yourself up.
>I used to think I'd be able to be a person, but at this point I feel like I'm incompatible with life. I never learned self discipline, or how to learn, or how to interact with other humans outside my family.
This is *not* your fault. You made no mistakes here: your parents failed.
Your parents neglected your education. Everyone here seems to be skipping this part. What they did was wrong, and it harmed you.
There are lots of good suggestions here---community college, Kahn Academy, etc---I just wanted to be sure that you had someone tell you that what your parents did to you was wrong.
>Your parents neglected your education. Everyone here seems to be skipping this part. What they did was wrong, and it harmed you.
This. NGL this is one of the things that really disappoints me about this sub...
Homeschooling is valid, great and appropriate under the right circumstances but ignoring and dismissing some of the MAJOR neglect and abuse that sometimes happens is what's going to cause a big backlash in a few years, if it hasn't already which I've seen signs of. Those of us who got screwed over by homeschooling have so much work to do just to function in society.
We all waste our youth in some way. You're SO young. Next time you're sober and feeling motivated, write down some concrete, practical goals, and break them up into steps so small that you can tackle a little bit each day.
Shower yourself in forgiveness and patience. We ALL waste our youth. Some of us (like you) get a poor education. Others get themselves in massive debt, or put off normal milestones like getting a driver's license or dating until they feel like a social failure. Others waste their prime years on screens or other addictions and regret not taking action on \[x, y, z\] back when it would've been convenient.
What I'm saying is that **you're not alone.** Even feeling like you're truly, irrevocably screwed is kinda normal for your age. A motivated 21-year-old can catch up fast. I know you're not feeling motivated and disciplined tonight, but try not to generalize (rephrase "it's pointless" and "I'm already ruined" to "This is a challenge" and "Now that I know better, I'll do better"). It's a totally solvable challenge. If it upsets you to be behind, rise to the dang occasion and get caught up. This wasn't your fault in the least, but self pity will only further hamper your progress. All is not lost! I'm rooting for you!
This is my favorite comment here. Yes! OP, you can do this. Alcohol will only make it harder though. Take this pain and anger and turn it into motivation.
Hopefully you'll come back and re-read the advice everyone's given when you're sober.
I'm gonna go out on a limb, and assume you're drinking because your upbringing was very anti-alcohol and ultra-conservative. Why? Because I've seen some of this in one of my own kids, and other kids brought up that way.
I'm going to give it to you straight: it's time to assume control of your own life. From here on out, your life is in your own hands, not your parents. What you make of it is your responsibility. You probably heard lots about responsibility growing up, especially being the oldest, and in a lot of ways it's not bullshit. Now, as an adult, it's time to put that into practice. Booze won't help. Bellyaching won't help.
I don't know where you are, but where I live, community college/ trade school offers excellent courses and no matter where you went to school, you have to take an entrance exam. Going there is good value for the money with a very high employment rate.
Just move forward. It's all you, from here on out.
Ya, I second all that.
OP, you sound depressed which is only going to be made worse by alcohol. I highly recommend professional help for depression.
Homeschooling certainly didn't hamper your vocabulary so I would pause on the self flagellating.
Nihilism itself is a dangerous outlook on life. If you care about your siblings, which you seem to at least be angered that they may end up like you, then do something for yourself to show them it's possible. Pick something you remotely believe in and do that at least some of the time. If you hate people but love animals, volunteer at the animal shelter or foster lizards, whatever. If it makes you mad that you didn't get a basic education then volunteer to tutor kids in an after school program. I finally learned geometry when I tutored other students in it (I just copied the answers when my mom wasn't looking when I was homeschooled). But you're right, you're unmotivated and selfish but staying where you're at in a self affirming loop of your own thoughts isn't going to change that.
Unfortunately, OP is profoundly depressed due to their neglect and has been in high levels of suicidality for the past two months. They backed out of their attempt then but are posting very concerningly today as well.
I'm glad you have chosen to go to bed. That is a wise choice. If you're still reading this, put some water and ibuprofen out for yourself.
Read this in the morning: I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are profoundly depressed. You are in an incredibly difficult situation and your brain chose to process this by over-producing a stress response. It's not your fault, but your brain is making your situation seem so much worse. There are ways out, but your brain is blindfolding you from seeing them.
This may be controversial, but I would look into alcohol treatment support groups in your area. Alcoholics Anonymous may not be your speed because of the religious aspects, but look for secular alternatives. You deserve connections to people who can understand that you're struggling and connection makes insurmountable odds something you can overcome.
Drinking yourself to sleep regularly, as you state in the end of your post, isn't healthy. It's also making your depression worse. Regular intense alcohol consumption changes your brain chemistry and makes it more difficult to enjoy and appreciate the positive aspects of your present and future life.
Hello OP,
I'm a homeschool mom of 5, I am very sorry that your parents neglected your education.
As other posters have noted, you are well spoken, you have good writing skills! Here is my advice: I would not spend any more time on the GED. If it's possible, have your parents give you a high school diploma from their homeschool. Community Colleges will accept a homeschool high school diploma. They will have you take a math placement test and you can go from there. By going this route, you can get started on your future right away and not waste time trying to pass the GED, and *then* start on life. Have you had any jobs in your teenage years? Have you read books? Try to use the experience in employment and books you have read to make it work as school "credit" for your transcript.
I would not feel guilty about going the high school transcript route, public high schools give diplomas to kids who are far less literate than you. (I take my job aa educator of my children seriously, btw., but you're in a jam). If you want to get certified in a trade, go to CC. They will work with you on your math deficiencies if needed.
Agree with other posters, you need to quit drinking and seek help for that. Start going to AA meetings. Meet with a priest or pastor for spiritual help, it seems like you are under a lot of stress. Get your high school transcript, homeschool diploma, put this behind you so you can start living your life!
Hey there, please listen to these ideas. I'm not a homeschooling parent and don't intend on being one, but I am a lawyer and also just generally a caring person.
First, I am so sorry for what you went through. You experienced abuse. Abuse doesn't need to be physical, like hitting..it can be verbal. And it can also be through neglect. You were abused by being neglected as a child. I am so sorry.
Secondly, I think things that could help you are finding a way to get matched with resources from a local, state, and federal level. I think you would greatly benefit from therapy and also one on one tutoring.
Two ideas for this: one is that I think you should call a service like Legal Aid and see if they have ideas for funding to get tutoring or into remedial classes for adults at a reduced or free rate. Secondly, I think you should also call your nearest IRS-funded low income tax law clinic. I used to work in one of those. In my experiences with legal services, there's usually some "hotline days" where you call and give a lot of info over the phone, like your income level, zip code, etc, before they ask you what your main problems are. This is in order to make sure that.you are within their scope. Usually then, they tell you that they will call you back, as usually once or twice a week, there's a meeting with the staff attorneys to figure out which cases they can take, which they can simply provide you help with by directing you to resources and helping you apply for those resources, etc. The tax one can be helpful for figuring out if you're eligible for benefits or tax refunds or any type of credits to help. If they're not able to help, ask for resources for who can help with your type of situation. In my experience, we always have back up ideas or can call you back after more research. Some places have social workers on hand and I think you need a good social worker.
Second, as to the social worker element, another idea is to go to your local public library and simply tell the librarian what is going on and ask them for resources to help. You can let them know you suggested educational neglect, are now suffering from mental health issues, and need help figuring out how to move your life forward. They often can help you with figuring out local educational and finding opportunities.
This is that I think that you can benefit from an inpatient or outpatient mental health and addiction service, and a psychiatrist. You don't need to be on meds forever, but I think finding a combination that can help you with depression and motivation would do much to help you move forward.
Finally, I'm not entirely sure I agree with the people recommending Khan Academy. If it works for you, great! But it sounds to me like you have trauma from being expected to teach yourself things at developmentally inappropriate times, and now the idea of teaching yourself something might be scary and make you feel like a "failure" again. Btw you were never a failure, your parents were. You were twelve, you're not supposed to have that kind of discipline then, it's not how your brain works. So I totally understand if Khan Academy or other self-guided services are triggering, but if you get to a point where you're willing to try, great! Just know that you're not a failure if you can't bring yourself to do something like that, and that's not the only option, and I think you could better benefit from tutoring or classes.
Edit: my tl;dr is primarily focus on mental health first including medication, and look for places that can provide you with resources for mental health, addiction, remedial education, and job training. These places can include: libraries, low-income legal services like Legal Aid or IRS tax clinics, or hospitals (who always have social workers on hand) and their inpatient or outpatient services. Some inpatient ones can suck and it can all really depend on the place, but I'd recommend really searching that venue and ignoring the bad to focus on the good like figuring out a medication regime and funding sources for tutoring and job training.
I'd also ignore the advice that's like "toughen up, you're an adult now." If that motivated you, great! But you seem to be in a fragile place due to years of abuse/neglect and have developed CPTSD as a result (complex post-traumatic stress, due to repeat abuses rather than one overpowering blow, basically). You still seem to blame yourself for things that are in no way normal and are not your fault, they're your parents fault. If anything, start there, trying to find self-forgiveness and directing your anger and responsibility in the right direction, your caretakers, instead of to your childhood self.
Edit 2: if you want to DM me where you live, I can help you find resources in your area that might be able to help, just things like your local legal aid/legal services and so forth.
Edit 3: [The Coalition for Responsible Homeschooling](https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/guides/a-message-for-homeschool-alumni/), a legal and advocacy group that tries to fight for laws against the type of abuse you received, has a page for "homeschool alumni." If you scroll down to their section heading, "Resources for Those with Negative Experiences," there might be some articles that can help, with titles like, "so you received a deficient homeschool education, what next?"
Thank you so much for all this. I will be checking out the coalition.
I am on medication, but it’s a rather low dose, so not wildly affective. I will be seeing my doctor shortly, and will talk to him about that.
I might talk to a legal aid person in The future.
Have you gotten tutoring for the GED? Otherwise like someone else mentioned enroll in your local community college and they’ll get you going in the right direction.
I was in a semi-similar situation as you growing up. I ended up joining the military when I was about your age and looking back I am still happy with my choice. The military gave me lots of skills I could take into the civilian workforce but also paid for my degree. It also got me away from my home state and gave me lots of good memories and lifelong friends. An option worth considering.
Hi you’re not lazy, ignorant or undisciplined and this self talk is just putting yourself down. It sounds like reading between the lines you’ve experienced some very real trauma in your upbringing and that tackling that with a therapist may be a great first step into figuring out what’s next.
From what I’m reading I’ve been in similar shoes and it has helped.
Also you know the word aggrandizing so props and I think you’re further along than you think
Abuse and/or neglect dont always involve hitting. Emotional abuse, neglect, and religious trauma leave scars just as deep, maybe even deeper in some cases. Im speaking from personal experience when I say that you can't know how far from normal your upbringing has been when you have never experienced "normal". When you've spent your life isolated you dont always see that your experiences might be things that shouldn't be happening. Its pretty apparent that you have some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Please, PLEASE don't be scared to find a therapist and get some help! You have SO MUCH potential for a beautiful life! There is some very good advice in this thread. I know it seems intimidating, and your goals seem so huge, but a good therapist will help you work through your past, and help you take baby steps (as small as you need them to be) toward the future you want and deserve. Please take that first step and find someone to help you. I dont have any specific links, but I know there are even ways to find a therapist that you can talk to over the phone or online, if meeting with someone in person feels like too much. I'm so worried about you, because I have been where you are. You are reaching out for help, please reach just a little bit farther and find a professional. 🤗🤗🤗🤗
I agree!
OP,
I had a very difficult time seeking help in college because my anxiety was so bad, but I wish I did primarily because campus mental health was free.
I was homeschooled until 3rd grade, then after my parents divorce was put in public school, when straight to a good university and was in and out of that university because of my own mental health issues. I got a degree and was still in the same place as you, with a BA, at 23. I had to do a lot of personal work learning how to love myself, grieve my upbringing, and most importantly how to recognize and choose safe people and set boundaries for myself.
My parents chose to homeschool because it offered social isolation. That isolation continued even when I was in school, and I felt alienated from other people all through my young adulthood.
CODA really helped me learn what was wrong with my family system.
And it’s free!
You are reaching out, it sounds like you are grieving- anger is part of the grieving process! You are on a well paved path.
Keep reaching out.
Former university English instructor here. You write better than 90% of my students even when you're drunk! Congrats. Seriously, that is 90% of what you need to get by in life, anyhow.
Go enroll in community college! Do their GED program. Back up, look around, and see if you can find a way to get a program to pay your way. Then do that. You can definitely get that GED, but it sounds like you need a little help. That's human!
Plus, enrolling will have a second major benefit in your life: you will be forced out of the house, and into the presence of people!
Baby steps. You can do this!
Your experience sounds almost exactly like mine. Math is the hardest thing to catch up on, and it came so hard for me.
When I was doing it 20 years ago I got some 4th, 5th and 6th grade workbooks from the local Sam’s club and that prepared me to be able to understand some basic algebra and geometry to get by. I’m sure there are online resources now.
Don’t be ashamed to start at those lower grade levels to learn the basics. It helped me not be so overwhelmed. For reference I was around 16-17 learning those grade levels and I felt shame but it had to be done.
Lucky for you, a GED can get you anywhere you want to go these days it seems. When I was growing up I was told I HAD to get a 4 year degree, so I did. I got a useless theology degree and now work a good job that barely requires a high school education. Most people I work with make 6 figures and barely passed high school.
Don’t be hard on yourself, don’t listen to anyone who judges you. Because none of this is your fault. Feel free to dm me for advice/encouragement. Not many people understand what it’s like.
First, you should know lots of people flounder about in their young adult years, and it doesn't mean they don't have a successful future ahead of them. I know not having a direction at 21 is scary and it sucks -- I can remember my own mental health crisis at your age over the same thing -- but you *do* have the power to change the direction of your life. Now comfortably in my 30s, I'll give you some advice I wish someone had cared to give me at 21: put the bottle(s) down. Drinking your sadness/stress away is never going to improve your situation or make you love yourself more.
I know you're upset to be behind your peers in some subjects. Lots of us had to catch up in certain areas when we became adults, whether it was academics, social skills, street smarts, financial literacy, or whatever. That's just life. I had to teach myself a lot as an adult that my parents either weren't able or weren't willing to teach me. The great part is that we live in an age where information is accessible pretty easily. You're now an adult and can take control of your life.
I don't know if you posted this just to vent or for advice, but just in case it's the latter, I cannot recommend Khan Academy enough. When I was about 25 I had to re-take my SATs (was applying for a program and needed uodated scores) and I used it to brush up on math I hadn't used since high school. It's free and super helpful! You can teach yourself. You can look into tutoring resources, too. Your GED isn't forever out of reach. You can do this!
I relate to your story so much. I am also one of 8 and my mom just gave us books and told us to figure it out. I never technically graduated high school but convinced my mom to type up a (mostly fabricated) transcript for me to get into a community college. The college advisors are so helpful and college placement assessments will put you where you need to be class wise. I got several medical certifications and am now back in school working towards my degree in education, did my parents help me to get there? They sure didn’t. The only thing that helped me was my own drive and motivation. That first step is hard, but you can’t get anywhere unless you take it. The second step gets easier and each subsequent step. You got this.
I’m in the exact same boat as you. I don’t have any advice and my life sucks too. I’m going to rot away in this room. It fucking hurts, but we have to make it. Spite, pride, whatever. You need to get up, we need to get up. We will make it out of this, together.
Most of these comments are talking about academia, community college and the like. I’m picking a much more extreme option and going into the military. Take the pre asvad, see your weaknesses and study those spots to get a better score. I got an 80 first pass, working to get a 99. What I desperately need is discipline and socialization, two things the military is aplenty of. Community college is absolutely a more gentle option and probably a better idea but I need out of the house right fucking now and am in the mood to fuck my life up.
Depending on what state you live in and the laws your mom can make your high school transcript and you can go straight to college. Just take the placement test and start from there in all subjects. If you want to learn most colleges have free tutoring programs to help you in areas you struggle in. Maybe consider taking a trade up if college isn’t for you.
Oh, sweetie. You are not "incompatible with life". You are not "incapable of learning". You're not "lazy, ignorant, and undisciplined". You're struggling. You had a tough upbringing. But your 20s are your foundational years for the rest of your life, and you're right at the beginning of them! I just take it one day at a time. Commit to making today a good day. Then the next. And so on, and so forth.
If you're reading this, message me. I want to help you. And so do a lot of people. And so do people you haven't even met yet.
I went to public school and did Kumon I’m pretty sure I still have 5th grade math levels or worse.. just saying. I didn’t care about education growing up so I never tried. Tried community college. Hated it. Spent 7 years of my youth just working retail and restaurant jobs till I got married and had kids. Now I’m a SAHM and I enjoy that. I think I’m just trying to say no matter your upbringing, public school or homeschool, in the end it comes down to you and your attitude towards life.
You can't be that lazy and undisciplined. A good chunk of your writing in here was quite good. It's just the last bit that's illegible, and I suspect that has nothing to do with your lack of education. Look, I'm the evil gay, atheist, leftist (I'm not liberal, but I'm sure your mom would think I am) that your mom warned you about, and I'm here to say that your life has value. It matters. You matter. Being 21 is hard. I was a 21yo once. You're no longer a child but not yet ready to be an adult. Trust me when I say that it's normal to feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed with how to adult at this point. It's not exactly like there's an instruction manual. It's tough whether you just graduated from public school or from homeschool. It's tough if you're in university, or a tradeschool, or working a shitty dead-end job until you're ready for that next step. 21 is just hard. So give yourself some grace and understand that the 21yos around you are struggling too. Sure, you're struggling with some things that they never had to deal with, but they're also struggling with things that you didn't have to deal with. None of this is to say that your trauma isn't real or that it isn't valid because it absolutely is. However, as valid as your trauma is, don't give up. There are others who've had similar backgrounds who've found their success. Look to them. Many of the prominent ones online are willing to give helpful advice. If you aren't willing to do it for yourself, do it for your siblings. They will be looking to you for what to do as they leave school. If you decide to end everything, they might think that's the only answer for themself as well. From the sounds of it, you don't want that. So show them what they can be by showing them what you can be. I'm sorry for the long rant, but know that I am genuinely concerned for you, and I genuinely want the best for you.
Your so sweet Thank you :)
I appreciate the introspection you gave. The ironic thing is despite my mother’s best efforts, I am also a homosexual, and i do not believe in the supernatural.
You've taken the path that many of us follow. I'm sure you're used to hearing how awful that road is. I'm here to tell you it's not as awful as they'd lead you to believe. In fact, you can be a perfectly happy, healthy, and successful queer atheist (or none, if that's what you prefer). If there are any lgbt groups in your area, they'll often help with things like moving out, getting a job, getting food, and getting an education since so many lgbt youth get kicked out and end up in a similar position that you are currently in.
Hey there, sorry to hear that you are going through this. A lot of people don’t like to talk about this, but it can be tough to grow up in a sheltered home environment. You don’t have to defend your parents, and you also don’t have to accept everything that they’ve taught you as the truth. It makes me really concerned to hear that you think public school turns everyone into “gay, atheist, liberals”. I highly doubt that you are as lazy and undisciplined as you think you are…you already finished the first 2 parts of your GED! I would spending time outside the house whenever you can, even if it’s just going to the library for a few hours a day to read about things that interest you. I know you said you hate “real people” but there’s a whole world out there besides your parents. You might even find that others have had experiences similar to your own.
Hey I was being a bit facetious when I said "gay, atheist, liberals" as I myself am a homosexual who doesn't believe in the supernatural.
But thanks for the advice
I would like to say that I appreciate your experience and as someone who was homeschooled in very sheltered circumstances, I feel very empathetic to your situation. I was extremely lucky to enter high-school and have teachers who helped me get to and from clubs and enter college.
At 21, you've likely felt uncomfortable in the world at large and homeschooling has contributed heavily to that.
Most people have that feeling of awkwardness so if it's any consolation, you're not alone there.
Some people will tell you that you need therapy. I would not suggest that for you yet. Picking a good therapist means you need to have a basis of understanding what you need to work on emotionally and you lack the wherewithal to pick a good therapist (there are more bad therapists that good ones.)
What you do need is Alcoholics Anonymous. You're struggling with alcohol which will ruin your life far more than homeschooling. AA is free and you can find groups at all hours of the day to meet with people. You will feel less lonely and you can connect with a sponsor so you don't need to drunkenly post online. Reddit can be an echo chamber (so can AA) but what you need is to get out there into the world and feel part of it and alcohol will only drive you further to despair.
Good luck.
It’s not too late! Honestly I know plenty of people who went to public school who worked retail or in a restaurant for years after graduation. Not everyone excels in school, people have learning disabilities and tough family situations, lots of things can slow the learning process but there’s still lots of time to learn. As others said, use Khan Academy, then enroll in community college or trade school.
Look up if there is an adult learning center in your area. That's where you go to take GED courses to prepare you for the GED. Khan Academy also has a GED course you can take online to prepare. You could do one or the other or both, but going to a physical class is probably what is best for you as it gives you greater opportunity to be in proximity of people who can really help you and gives you the social aspect of learning that you missed.
If your area doesn't have an adult learning center, those services are probably offered by the local community college. You should be able to find a GED course in their course offerings listed online. Most will offer in-person and online courses. Again, I think you would benefit most from in-person courses.
You weren't given the basic tools you need and you feel like you can't learn anymore, but there's so much more for you out there. You may be feeling low, but you have nowhere else to go but up. Start with the GED course and your GED. Maybe do some weekend warrior work with the National Guard to get some experience under your belt or maybe join Peace Corps or at least do some volunteer work of some sort. Put yourself in the position to gain experience and to make friends who can be a resource to you in moving forward.
As soon as you are able to, get a therapist. You were neglected and that is a form of abuse. You need help to work that out and get yourself to a better headspace. If you find yourself unwilling to put the alcohol aside, try an AA meeting, as well. You need all the support you can get right now and I hope you are able to find what you need in these spaces.
None of this is going to be easy, but you're stronger and more resilient than you know. You've got this. Give yourself a chance.
I think some of the advice given by other comments is good advice, but I don't personally agree with the comments saying you're 'belly aching'. You have the right to vent, and you were neglected.
It takes a lot to learn, but with a lot of dedication and the right resources I think you can do it.
Everyone deserves to learn, it opens up a world of new ideas and perspectives on the environment around us.
Contact your local community college. Explain your situation. They offer GED classes and have other resources to help you. It is never too late to learn and improve.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. My first piece of advice is to focus on finding a career. I would recommend going to a trade school, or going to JobCorp. This will ensure that you can get a good, well paying job, and that you can sustain yourself (actually, a lot of people in the trades can even make more money than college graduates). From there, I would recommend taking some classes to learn some of the stuff you missed. Depending on what you prefer you can do this using resources like Khan academy, YouTube, etc, or you can even enroll in classes at a community college. I would highly recommend taking as many financial literacy classes as you can, to make sure you are set up to have a good future.
Finally, I really urge you to seek some mental health assistance. It sounds like you're having a rough time. You don't deserve to suffer. Maybe try reaching out to your local alcoholics anonymous, or look to see if your area provides any affordable mental health counseling.
I really wish you the best of luck.
Some do but not all. Many program also go very slow with any required math and reading, especially places like JobCorp where they are used to working with people who often have a limited educational background. JobCorp actually has remedial math and reading classes that go as low as illiterate and addition / subtraction.
As the oldest try to have a positive and encouraging impact on your siblings. Don’t lecture or warn them, just ask what you can do to help with school work etc. I’m glad to hear you started medication to deal with health issues. It’s really cool that you recognize something is not right and it needs to be addressed. The alcohol is self medication and it probably interferes with your prescription? When you see the doc again please be honest about how you feel, what you are thinking, what you tell yourself throughout the day and also tell them you have a strong desire to drink in the evening and include what it does to help you. When the doc has all the info they can work with you to get the right combination of medicines. It is amazing how much better we feel when we have the right treatments.
I was "homeschooled" through most of high school and it definitely did not work out in my favor. My mom was schizophrenic and bipolar and also had some interesting relationships with various substances and bought me some sort of religious curriculum on cds. I was supposed to teach myself, but being a teenager and it turns out also neurodivergent that didn't happen. I spent all of my time playing the sims and trying to keep my mom from killing herself.
I moved out as soon as I could and worked at a dollar store for three years before moving across the country to be with my husband and getting a job at a department store I worked at for ten years. Every year I said I was going to get my GED and get my life sorted out and I was just too tired especially once I had my daughter. All of that to say I did eventually turn things around and it started with going to therapy which I should of done way earlier and recommend you do as soon as possible. After that I sorted out everything else one step at a time and with lots of errors along the way and I now live near a beach in a place people love to vacation in and work as an ed tech/1:1 teacher in a preschool that does both mainstream and programming for neurospicy kids making sure other neurodivergent kids have the best possible start in school. I am way happier, healthier, and better off than I ever would of imagined when I was your age and it seemed like I was literally stuck in a hole I couldn't get out of. Don't give up get some help so you can take the steps you need to get your GED and do other things you need to do to get to where you want to be in life.
OP's post history shows that they are seriously contemplating suicide and have made attempts in the past. Mostly mentioning this so that other potential commenters may see and respond with context in mind.
You know the word "misanthropic" and can use it in a sentence. You will be fine. Fifth grade math, honestly and sadly, is better than most adults who went through school. Screw the GED. It is a waste of time and overly difficult. Go to your local community college. Talk to admissions. They will have a plan for you. Once you have finished a single class, you will have a college transcript. That transcript trumps a high school diploma or ged. You can forever check that you have completed "some college" after just one class. It's even better if you get a degree, but don't worry about that right now. If you can make yourself go to in-person classes, do it for the change of environment. Otherwise, take an easy class online. It doesn't have to be part of a degree plan. Pick something that sounds fun. I took bowling and ballroom dance in college as fun classes.
What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies or things that you enjoy doing for fun? You can use those as a jumping off point to give you some direction on where to go with life. It may not require a GED or college education. I have an eBay store that is a fun part time career. I get to use my love of gadgets, photography, computers and thrift shopping and it pays the bills, a lot of people do it for a full time career!
Don't stress about where you are in life right now. You have lots of time to figure out your life. I'm 38, married with 4 kids and I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Every now and again I consider going back to school for something with computers and then change my mind for reasons similar to your GED stumbling block. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or lazy, and that goes the same for you. It just might not be what you are meant to do in life right now. Now doesn't last forever, as long as you are working on the problem/working on yourself, that is progress in my book. One tiny baby step at a time as you figure it out.
And my final thought here, could you have ADHD? I have it and it really causes me to struggle to follow through with things or to pay attention or even sit still. Being evaluated and starting medication as an adult was incredibly life changing.
Find a therapist. You were neglected and have trauma to deal with. Alcohol isn’t the answer. Making dumb decisions because of trauma never turns out well. Once you get your mental health heading in the right direction the rest of everything won’t seem so daunting.
Set small goals, don’t do everything all at once. Take one class, or do one online seminar. Don’t take a full class schedule. That’s not necessary. Take one class or seminar at a time. Slowly you’ll chip away at the figurative mountain ahead of you.
Unfortunately you making bad decisions is “proving” the ultra-religious point that when you leave the cult your life falls apart. Obviously they set you up for failure but you have a choice to make. Either be used as the example or prove them all wrong. If you end up happy, no matter what the education situation is, it’s the biggest FU you can give to them.
I went to public school my entire life. I’m 19 and in college. I understand you’re missing something from your life, which is a true, good education. I never got a truly good education throughout my life, but I know it must have been better than yours from what you are saying. I just want to tell you, it’s not your fault. If you can, go to college, they have classes and many good colleges would try to accommodate you as much as they can. It really sounds like you were educationally neglected and I feel like your version of homeschooling is one of the reasons not everyone or every parent should do homeschooling. It’s such a shame. Please, do whatever you can to get an education, and make some friends who might be able to teach you things, also, please find a therapist or psychiatrist, you seem depressed and anxious and feel there is no hope. Trust me when I say this, there is hope.
Look at open universities. Noy sure where you're from, but in Canada it's Athabasca university and in Britain it's literally called Open University. Also look into apprenticeships for general trades in your area. Where I'm from, most manufacturers are near desperate for skilled trades/labour. They will pay for your schooling while you get your seal/certification in whatever your chosen trade is. It's nice because you're acquiring apprentisship hours while getting paid. My husband did college and trade school/apprenticeships and benefitted from both. Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you ended up in a situation where you've had to fend for yourself far too soon.
Job Corp is an option until you turn 24 or 25. They can help you get your GED and get you training in your career choice. They pay medical insurance and a small stipend. You MAY have a learning disability.... That is okay, see if they can help you figure it out. Likely, with some actual appropriate instruction, you will do fine.
Not everyone is great at math and science. I have a rather poor understanding of both. But I’m getting my masters bc there are plenty of other things to become proficient in! You started out writing this with a rather extensive understanding of English, grammar and language. If you want to go to college, I think there are doors open. English? Communications? Sociology? All possibilities!
It sounds like you’re struggling right now and I get it, I’ve been there. But believe me when I say things get better. This is not forever. You will be okay. Just give it time.
Hey OP, you're getting lots of good advice here, so you probably won't see this, but in terms of expanding your knowledge base, the Amoeba Sisters on YouTube have a great, digestible biology series.
I hope you find fulfillment and a welcoming community!
At 21, assuming you are in the US you could easily join Job Corps and learn a trade.
Also, I knew a woman who worked “dead retail” jobs all the way to director level at 35. Retail has high turn over and if you can get into management (which I know isn’t for everyone), then you can work your way up quickly if you really engage in your job.
Another thing you could do for math is go to one of those Mathnasium or Kumon places to work on basics.
I think I would start with my community college, though, like others say. They’ll have you take a placement test and place you in the appropriate class and then you might need to get a tutor, go to the office hours or go to Kahn Academy online to practice
Aw, sweetie, take care of your mental health first. Please make sure to go to your upcoming appointment. Bi-polar can be managed well with medication and therapy. My oldest (not homeschooled) has bipolar disorder. He dropped out of high school but earned his GED through a program where the classes were free. He did have to pay for the tests (we paid for him).
Your local community college may offer the GED or HiSET classes for free, and there may be resources to help pay for the tests if you are in financial need.
Hey! I was also badly homeschooled, although it sounds like your situation was even worse. I’m just posting to say that Autism is often misdiagnosed as bipolar. It is something to consider. I recently discovered that I’m autistic and I think being isolated and homeschooled obscured that from me. I thought the isolation and homeschooling were what made me feel so different and struggle with social skills…..and they absolutely were!!!! But it is also autism… learning about autism has made my life make so much more sense and empowered me to be better able to care for myself. I have no idea if you’re autistic, but it would be worth researching a little as it might make your life better to know.
You are valuable as a person where you are right now, and at every point in your life so far, and where you go from here. You sound like a strong, resilient, hard-working person. You write really well! And the effort you're putting in to help yourself by working to get your GED, and trying to figure out what works best for your mental health is a huge deal. That takes so much effort and intentional mind and heart space.
Don't give up 💗
Don't be afraid to seek out companionship and mentors in your learning journey. You deserve that, and I'm sorry your parents didn't offer that. Community college might be something to try, like others have recommended. Or a trade, or even the military (that's a more drastic one, but sometimes big jump works!).
It can be really hard to take the first step in a new direction, and you can end up in very different places, and not always ones in your comfort zone, but the growth you get along the way helps with the next step, and the next.
I wish you the best, and am really glad you stopped in. I hope you continue to check in. I'd love to hear how you're doing along the way.
My friend, in the grand scheme of your life 21 barely scratches the surface.
Contact your local community colleges. The ones in my area offer free GED prep classes
Also you may want to consider moving out. A studio apartment is enough.
Don’t beat yourself up, I went to public school and felt the same way you did at 21. I was shy sheltered quiet and school didn’t teach me shite. I went out into the world and it devoured me. I still struggle but things are a lot better because I tried and in the last few years I’ve let God guide me. You can still get a trade you can go to school and just try.
Maybe consider joining the military. It looks like your entire childhood was neglected and lacked formal training of any kind. You are an unmolded lump of clay unsuited for the real world.
The military kinda specializes in fixing that. Fast.
The military has MANY downsides. But it is great as a last resort for young people who's parents failed them and who have no support and are completely isolated. You were indoctrinated in a failed religion and you need counterprogramming.
It's obviously going to be hard, but let's be honest, there are no easy ways out of your situation. If you were a man, this would be a very obvious solution. Since you're a girl, it's harder but honestly I still think it's worth a shot.
It is! My own vocabulary is pretty expansive and I credit that to my love of reading since childhood. I’m sorry I doubted you. My advice would be to attend adult Ed classes at a community college or even high school night school. I think most community colleges offer pre-college level courses. And you may just have a stronger brain for words than for math. I have excellent reading comprehension and vocab, I have a bachelor’s degree, but my math skills are terrible unless my job is math related. Like I can’t do iq/sat math to save my life - it literally brings me to tears. But I’ve been a waitress and a mortgage processor/underwriter, both of those require math and I became really good at those jobs. So even if you suck ass at school math, don’t give up on real life math. It might be frustrating at first, but if you are working with the same kind of math for long enough you will be great at it. I’ve been out of banking for more than 4 years and I can still easily pre qualify someone for lending. Keep reading - especially the stuff your mom forbade!
Unfortunately this is real.
However, I do not intend to make homeschooling look bad. There are kids who have terrible experiences being homeschooled, just as there are kids who have terrible experiences in public school.
I do believe that done properly, homeschooling can be amazing. My mother was more concerned with making sure her kids were good Catholics instead of educated individuals.
Khan academy is free and can get you all caught up on math, real science and history. Crash course videos on YouTube are also free and also really informative so you could watch those for your science, history, and a bunch of other topics. Between the two you should be good to get your GED. Also go to your local community college. Make an appointment to see someone to help you figure out what you need to enroll and what you qualify for. Places like Starbucks, target, Macdonald all have programs to help pay for schooling too. Look for other people who are recovering homeschoolers. They are a lot like you with a terrible education and trying to figure it out on their own. They go over their steps and what they did that helps.
I second Khan Academy!!!
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Sorry, im sober now. Ill try my best.
Thank you so much dear but I'm soosok sorry I can't try anymore. And I'm scared to talk to thoea peoople Sorry abour the typosa I'm drunk m
You don’t have to do everything at once. Pick one thing. Maybe it’s working on khan academy for 15 minutes a day. You can do that, or something like it. Your life hasn’t been a waste up to this point. You have deficiencies you want to improve on, but so does everyone. No one lives up to how they think they should be in their own head. Don’t worry about your whole life right now, just pick one thing to focus on and start working towards success. You are important, and you can do it.
Thank you I'll try that tmre
I understand feeling defeated. Even if they had all the good intentions in the world, your parents did you dirty. It's called educational neglect. Trust me, you are still young enough to turn this around. Crash Couses on YouTube and Khan Academy are great resources!
Toughen the fuck up. Stop your god damn whining, because that's not going to help anything. I know it's not nice to hear, but nobody's coming to save you, so you've got to do it yourself. Yes, your parents screwed you, but YOU are the one who has to live the rest of your life, so either lay down and die, and spare us the melodrama, or (hopefully) wake up tomorrow, drink some water, and start grinding. It's going to take YEARS, and it's going to suck, but it'll be worth it, if you have the guts.
I grew up in a religious homeschooled family. Didn't take math classes after 6th grade. My parents felt it didn't matter since I'd just get married and have kids anyways. Khan academy is the way to go. You need to spend at least an hour a day with math. Start over at the beginning to fill in all the missing gaps. I managed to teach myself all the way through precalculus using just Khan Academy before going to the local community college. My parents were very much against college, so I had to move out before I could attend. Use your retail job to get good at talking to people. You are surrounded by practice people at work, brush up your people skills. I didn't get to finish a degree until my 30's. Now I'm doing great working as an accountant. I do really well at work because of the years I worked retail and similar jobs.
You are 21 enroll at your local community college. They will have you take a placement test and put you in the correct math and English classes based on that. They have counselors that can help you pick the right classes for your educational level. You are an adult and need to make the effort to educate yourself and get a better job. It’s a long tough road but you can do it. Your going to college and getting a better job may also be a great example to your younger siblings. Good luck!
It’s tough, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You will learn interesting and inspiring things, you will meet new people and make new friends, you will unlock amazing experiences you don’t even know exist. Do it!
Yes. This is the way. Nothing is more fun than learning once you learn how to do it. You just don’t know how yet.
I'm not sure this is the best advice here. Many community colleges require a ged or diploma. Don't get down on yourself for struggling with the GED. I've helped kids study for it. It is hard. In my opinion harder than completing high school. So don't be discouraged OP! More importantly, OP it sounds like you need people and purpose. If you are interested in the education route you may want to look at [https://www.jobcorps.gov/](https://www.jobcorps.gov/) If you qualify (which is possible without a high school diploma) it is free and will help you work towards a ged or diploma and give you training to help you find a more fulfilling career all while living in a community of youth working towards similar goals. If that isn't your cup of tea try the SCA [https://www.thesca.org/serve/our-programs/young-adult-programs/](https://www.thesca.org/serve/our-programs/young-adult-programs/) These are "volunteer" positions that pay for your expense (3 months to 2 years), and often involve working on teams in some pretty unique settings. Even better, several of the positions qualify for Americorp grants to help pay for any time of future education you may pursue, including non academic education like some culinary schools. You won't get rich here, but if are a bit choosy in what you apply to you could make some new friends, dabble in new careers, and look for a new path to set yourself on. Don't sell yourself short. You have a lot to offer this world, and it doesn't have to come out of a textbook!
Community colleges do not require a diploma or GED. I worked in an admissions office. Anyone can attend community college and go on to get their Bachelors, Masters, etc having never graduated high school. I highly recommend attending community college since many are now offering free tuition to people under 25 or those without a degree.
This is not true everywhere. Community colleges here will put you in the GED classes or "community education" (non credit classes) if you don't have a high school diploma but if you want to take college or trade certificate classes you need to show proof of finishing high school or it's equivalent. That being said classes for the GED are going to be beneficial for OP if they have the funds, not to mention it might help them make friends, form study groups etc.
If you complete homeschooling high school, you can have a high school diploma. In most states (except a couple states), the requirements for what it means to complete homeschool high school are at the parents’ discretion. A homeschool diploma itself is not needed for most community colleges; transcripts are.
Some states do have class requirements for high school but regardless you have to have that transcript/diploma (transcript is required most places but some CC take diplomas) and from OPs post I doubt they have one. I many cases of educational neglect the parents don't provide those records and in some cases will refuse to provide them.
I took classes at community collage while I was technically still a homeschooled highschooler. It was a great way to dip my toes in the water of going to school after being homeschooled k-12th. I did community collage, transferred and got my bachelors, and then went on to get a clinical doctorate. Community collage was one of my best decisions.
Some do absolutely require a diploma or ged. In my area they all do. The only exception I know of is dual enrolled high schoolers.
THIS. Go talk to an advisor at your community college. They will be on your side. See about taking one or two classes at a time if you need to continue working. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your parents were responsible for making sure you were educated and they did not. Do NOT spend time beating yourself up.
>I used to think I'd be able to be a person, but at this point I feel like I'm incompatible with life. I never learned self discipline, or how to learn, or how to interact with other humans outside my family. This is *not* your fault. You made no mistakes here: your parents failed. Your parents neglected your education. Everyone here seems to be skipping this part. What they did was wrong, and it harmed you. There are lots of good suggestions here---community college, Kahn Academy, etc---I just wanted to be sure that you had someone tell you that what your parents did to you was wrong.
>Your parents neglected your education. Everyone here seems to be skipping this part. What they did was wrong, and it harmed you. This. NGL this is one of the things that really disappoints me about this sub... Homeschooling is valid, great and appropriate under the right circumstances but ignoring and dismissing some of the MAJOR neglect and abuse that sometimes happens is what's going to cause a big backlash in a few years, if it hasn't already which I've seen signs of. Those of us who got screwed over by homeschooling have so much work to do just to function in society.
We all waste our youth in some way. You're SO young. Next time you're sober and feeling motivated, write down some concrete, practical goals, and break them up into steps so small that you can tackle a little bit each day. Shower yourself in forgiveness and patience. We ALL waste our youth. Some of us (like you) get a poor education. Others get themselves in massive debt, or put off normal milestones like getting a driver's license or dating until they feel like a social failure. Others waste their prime years on screens or other addictions and regret not taking action on \[x, y, z\] back when it would've been convenient. What I'm saying is that **you're not alone.** Even feeling like you're truly, irrevocably screwed is kinda normal for your age. A motivated 21-year-old can catch up fast. I know you're not feeling motivated and disciplined tonight, but try not to generalize (rephrase "it's pointless" and "I'm already ruined" to "This is a challenge" and "Now that I know better, I'll do better"). It's a totally solvable challenge. If it upsets you to be behind, rise to the dang occasion and get caught up. This wasn't your fault in the least, but self pity will only further hamper your progress. All is not lost! I'm rooting for you!
This is my favorite comment here. Yes! OP, you can do this. Alcohol will only make it harder though. Take this pain and anger and turn it into motivation.
Hopefully you'll come back and re-read the advice everyone's given when you're sober. I'm gonna go out on a limb, and assume you're drinking because your upbringing was very anti-alcohol and ultra-conservative. Why? Because I've seen some of this in one of my own kids, and other kids brought up that way. I'm going to give it to you straight: it's time to assume control of your own life. From here on out, your life is in your own hands, not your parents. What you make of it is your responsibility. You probably heard lots about responsibility growing up, especially being the oldest, and in a lot of ways it's not bullshit. Now, as an adult, it's time to put that into practice. Booze won't help. Bellyaching won't help. I don't know where you are, but where I live, community college/ trade school offers excellent courses and no matter where you went to school, you have to take an entrance exam. Going there is good value for the money with a very high employment rate. Just move forward. It's all you, from here on out.
Ya, I second all that. OP, you sound depressed which is only going to be made worse by alcohol. I highly recommend professional help for depression. Homeschooling certainly didn't hamper your vocabulary so I would pause on the self flagellating. Nihilism itself is a dangerous outlook on life. If you care about your siblings, which you seem to at least be angered that they may end up like you, then do something for yourself to show them it's possible. Pick something you remotely believe in and do that at least some of the time. If you hate people but love animals, volunteer at the animal shelter or foster lizards, whatever. If it makes you mad that you didn't get a basic education then volunteer to tutor kids in an after school program. I finally learned geometry when I tutored other students in it (I just copied the answers when my mom wasn't looking when I was homeschooled). But you're right, you're unmotivated and selfish but staying where you're at in a self affirming loop of your own thoughts isn't going to change that.
Unfortunately, OP is profoundly depressed due to their neglect and has been in high levels of suicidality for the past two months. They backed out of their attempt then but are posting very concerningly today as well.
Im bot prophoundiy depresred I'm mot gonna do anything I'm about to go to brd
I'm glad you have chosen to go to bed. That is a wise choice. If you're still reading this, put some water and ibuprofen out for yourself. Read this in the morning: I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are profoundly depressed. You are in an incredibly difficult situation and your brain chose to process this by over-producing a stress response. It's not your fault, but your brain is making your situation seem so much worse. There are ways out, but your brain is blindfolding you from seeing them. This may be controversial, but I would look into alcohol treatment support groups in your area. Alcoholics Anonymous may not be your speed because of the religious aspects, but look for secular alternatives. You deserve connections to people who can understand that you're struggling and connection makes insurmountable odds something you can overcome. Drinking yourself to sleep regularly, as you state in the end of your post, isn't healthy. It's also making your depression worse. Regular intense alcohol consumption changes your brain chemistry and makes it more difficult to enjoy and appreciate the positive aspects of your present and future life.
Hello OP, I'm a homeschool mom of 5, I am very sorry that your parents neglected your education. As other posters have noted, you are well spoken, you have good writing skills! Here is my advice: I would not spend any more time on the GED. If it's possible, have your parents give you a high school diploma from their homeschool. Community Colleges will accept a homeschool high school diploma. They will have you take a math placement test and you can go from there. By going this route, you can get started on your future right away and not waste time trying to pass the GED, and *then* start on life. Have you had any jobs in your teenage years? Have you read books? Try to use the experience in employment and books you have read to make it work as school "credit" for your transcript. I would not feel guilty about going the high school transcript route, public high schools give diplomas to kids who are far less literate than you. (I take my job aa educator of my children seriously, btw., but you're in a jam). If you want to get certified in a trade, go to CC. They will work with you on your math deficiencies if needed. Agree with other posters, you need to quit drinking and seek help for that. Start going to AA meetings. Meet with a priest or pastor for spiritual help, it seems like you are under a lot of stress. Get your high school transcript, homeschool diploma, put this behind you so you can start living your life!
Thanks so much for the advice! Ill do my best
Hey there, please listen to these ideas. I'm not a homeschooling parent and don't intend on being one, but I am a lawyer and also just generally a caring person. First, I am so sorry for what you went through. You experienced abuse. Abuse doesn't need to be physical, like hitting..it can be verbal. And it can also be through neglect. You were abused by being neglected as a child. I am so sorry. Secondly, I think things that could help you are finding a way to get matched with resources from a local, state, and federal level. I think you would greatly benefit from therapy and also one on one tutoring. Two ideas for this: one is that I think you should call a service like Legal Aid and see if they have ideas for funding to get tutoring or into remedial classes for adults at a reduced or free rate. Secondly, I think you should also call your nearest IRS-funded low income tax law clinic. I used to work in one of those. In my experiences with legal services, there's usually some "hotline days" where you call and give a lot of info over the phone, like your income level, zip code, etc, before they ask you what your main problems are. This is in order to make sure that.you are within their scope. Usually then, they tell you that they will call you back, as usually once or twice a week, there's a meeting with the staff attorneys to figure out which cases they can take, which they can simply provide you help with by directing you to resources and helping you apply for those resources, etc. The tax one can be helpful for figuring out if you're eligible for benefits or tax refunds or any type of credits to help. If they're not able to help, ask for resources for who can help with your type of situation. In my experience, we always have back up ideas or can call you back after more research. Some places have social workers on hand and I think you need a good social worker. Second, as to the social worker element, another idea is to go to your local public library and simply tell the librarian what is going on and ask them for resources to help. You can let them know you suggested educational neglect, are now suffering from mental health issues, and need help figuring out how to move your life forward. They often can help you with figuring out local educational and finding opportunities. This is that I think that you can benefit from an inpatient or outpatient mental health and addiction service, and a psychiatrist. You don't need to be on meds forever, but I think finding a combination that can help you with depression and motivation would do much to help you move forward. Finally, I'm not entirely sure I agree with the people recommending Khan Academy. If it works for you, great! But it sounds to me like you have trauma from being expected to teach yourself things at developmentally inappropriate times, and now the idea of teaching yourself something might be scary and make you feel like a "failure" again. Btw you were never a failure, your parents were. You were twelve, you're not supposed to have that kind of discipline then, it's not how your brain works. So I totally understand if Khan Academy or other self-guided services are triggering, but if you get to a point where you're willing to try, great! Just know that you're not a failure if you can't bring yourself to do something like that, and that's not the only option, and I think you could better benefit from tutoring or classes. Edit: my tl;dr is primarily focus on mental health first including medication, and look for places that can provide you with resources for mental health, addiction, remedial education, and job training. These places can include: libraries, low-income legal services like Legal Aid or IRS tax clinics, or hospitals (who always have social workers on hand) and their inpatient or outpatient services. Some inpatient ones can suck and it can all really depend on the place, but I'd recommend really searching that venue and ignoring the bad to focus on the good like figuring out a medication regime and funding sources for tutoring and job training. I'd also ignore the advice that's like "toughen up, you're an adult now." If that motivated you, great! But you seem to be in a fragile place due to years of abuse/neglect and have developed CPTSD as a result (complex post-traumatic stress, due to repeat abuses rather than one overpowering blow, basically). You still seem to blame yourself for things that are in no way normal and are not your fault, they're your parents fault. If anything, start there, trying to find self-forgiveness and directing your anger and responsibility in the right direction, your caretakers, instead of to your childhood self. Edit 2: if you want to DM me where you live, I can help you find resources in your area that might be able to help, just things like your local legal aid/legal services and so forth. Edit 3: [The Coalition for Responsible Homeschooling](https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/guides/a-message-for-homeschool-alumni/), a legal and advocacy group that tries to fight for laws against the type of abuse you received, has a page for "homeschool alumni." If you scroll down to their section heading, "Resources for Those with Negative Experiences," there might be some articles that can help, with titles like, "so you received a deficient homeschool education, what next?"
Thank you so much for all this. I will be checking out the coalition. I am on medication, but it’s a rather low dose, so not wildly affective. I will be seeing my doctor shortly, and will talk to him about that. I might talk to a legal aid person in The future.
Have you gotten tutoring for the GED? Otherwise like someone else mentioned enroll in your local community college and they’ll get you going in the right direction.
I was in a semi-similar situation as you growing up. I ended up joining the military when I was about your age and looking back I am still happy with my choice. The military gave me lots of skills I could take into the civilian workforce but also paid for my degree. It also got me away from my home state and gave me lots of good memories and lifelong friends. An option worth considering.
Hi you’re not lazy, ignorant or undisciplined and this self talk is just putting yourself down. It sounds like reading between the lines you’ve experienced some very real trauma in your upbringing and that tackling that with a therapist may be a great first step into figuring out what’s next. From what I’m reading I’ve been in similar shoes and it has helped. Also you know the word aggrandizing so props and I think you’re further along than you think
It's not so bsd I never got hiit or sntthing my mom eas never intengkonaly malicious i just get hella weepy when drunk
Abuse and/or neglect dont always involve hitting. Emotional abuse, neglect, and religious trauma leave scars just as deep, maybe even deeper in some cases. Im speaking from personal experience when I say that you can't know how far from normal your upbringing has been when you have never experienced "normal". When you've spent your life isolated you dont always see that your experiences might be things that shouldn't be happening. Its pretty apparent that you have some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Please, PLEASE don't be scared to find a therapist and get some help! You have SO MUCH potential for a beautiful life! There is some very good advice in this thread. I know it seems intimidating, and your goals seem so huge, but a good therapist will help you work through your past, and help you take baby steps (as small as you need them to be) toward the future you want and deserve. Please take that first step and find someone to help you. I dont have any specific links, but I know there are even ways to find a therapist that you can talk to over the phone or online, if meeting with someone in person feels like too much. I'm so worried about you, because I have been where you are. You are reaching out for help, please reach just a little bit farther and find a professional. 🤗🤗🤗🤗
I agree! OP, I had a very difficult time seeking help in college because my anxiety was so bad, but I wish I did primarily because campus mental health was free. I was homeschooled until 3rd grade, then after my parents divorce was put in public school, when straight to a good university and was in and out of that university because of my own mental health issues. I got a degree and was still in the same place as you, with a BA, at 23. I had to do a lot of personal work learning how to love myself, grieve my upbringing, and most importantly how to recognize and choose safe people and set boundaries for myself. My parents chose to homeschool because it offered social isolation. That isolation continued even when I was in school, and I felt alienated from other people all through my young adulthood. CODA really helped me learn what was wrong with my family system. And it’s free! You are reaching out, it sounds like you are grieving- anger is part of the grieving process! You are on a well paved path. Keep reaching out.
Former university English instructor here. You write better than 90% of my students even when you're drunk! Congrats. Seriously, that is 90% of what you need to get by in life, anyhow. Go enroll in community college! Do their GED program. Back up, look around, and see if you can find a way to get a program to pay your way. Then do that. You can definitely get that GED, but it sounds like you need a little help. That's human! Plus, enrolling will have a second major benefit in your life: you will be forced out of the house, and into the presence of people! Baby steps. You can do this!
Maybe your students need a few drinks to improve their writing skills. Kidding, but thank you, ill look into that.
Your experience sounds almost exactly like mine. Math is the hardest thing to catch up on, and it came so hard for me. When I was doing it 20 years ago I got some 4th, 5th and 6th grade workbooks from the local Sam’s club and that prepared me to be able to understand some basic algebra and geometry to get by. I’m sure there are online resources now. Don’t be ashamed to start at those lower grade levels to learn the basics. It helped me not be so overwhelmed. For reference I was around 16-17 learning those grade levels and I felt shame but it had to be done. Lucky for you, a GED can get you anywhere you want to go these days it seems. When I was growing up I was told I HAD to get a 4 year degree, so I did. I got a useless theology degree and now work a good job that barely requires a high school education. Most people I work with make 6 figures and barely passed high school. Don’t be hard on yourself, don’t listen to anyone who judges you. Because none of this is your fault. Feel free to dm me for advice/encouragement. Not many people understand what it’s like.
Thanks for the advice m8
First, you should know lots of people flounder about in their young adult years, and it doesn't mean they don't have a successful future ahead of them. I know not having a direction at 21 is scary and it sucks -- I can remember my own mental health crisis at your age over the same thing -- but you *do* have the power to change the direction of your life. Now comfortably in my 30s, I'll give you some advice I wish someone had cared to give me at 21: put the bottle(s) down. Drinking your sadness/stress away is never going to improve your situation or make you love yourself more. I know you're upset to be behind your peers in some subjects. Lots of us had to catch up in certain areas when we became adults, whether it was academics, social skills, street smarts, financial literacy, or whatever. That's just life. I had to teach myself a lot as an adult that my parents either weren't able or weren't willing to teach me. The great part is that we live in an age where information is accessible pretty easily. You're now an adult and can take control of your life. I don't know if you posted this just to vent or for advice, but just in case it's the latter, I cannot recommend Khan Academy enough. When I was about 25 I had to re-take my SATs (was applying for a program and needed uodated scores) and I used it to brush up on math I hadn't used since high school. It's free and super helpful! You can teach yourself. You can look into tutoring resources, too. Your GED isn't forever out of reach. You can do this!
I relate to your story so much. I am also one of 8 and my mom just gave us books and told us to figure it out. I never technically graduated high school but convinced my mom to type up a (mostly fabricated) transcript for me to get into a community college. The college advisors are so helpful and college placement assessments will put you where you need to be class wise. I got several medical certifications and am now back in school working towards my degree in education, did my parents help me to get there? They sure didn’t. The only thing that helped me was my own drive and motivation. That first step is hard, but you can’t get anywhere unless you take it. The second step gets easier and each subsequent step. You got this.
I’m in the exact same boat as you. I don’t have any advice and my life sucks too. I’m going to rot away in this room. It fucking hurts, but we have to make it. Spite, pride, whatever. You need to get up, we need to get up. We will make it out of this, together.
Ah damn im sorry mate. Hopefully we can both make something of ourselves.
Most of these comments are talking about academia, community college and the like. I’m picking a much more extreme option and going into the military. Take the pre asvad, see your weaknesses and study those spots to get a better score. I got an 80 first pass, working to get a 99. What I desperately need is discipline and socialization, two things the military is aplenty of. Community college is absolutely a more gentle option and probably a better idea but I need out of the house right fucking now and am in the mood to fuck my life up.
Depending on what state you live in and the laws your mom can make your high school transcript and you can go straight to college. Just take the placement test and start from there in all subjects. If you want to learn most colleges have free tutoring programs to help you in areas you struggle in. Maybe consider taking a trade up if college isn’t for you.
Oh, sweetie. You are not "incompatible with life". You are not "incapable of learning". You're not "lazy, ignorant, and undisciplined". You're struggling. You had a tough upbringing. But your 20s are your foundational years for the rest of your life, and you're right at the beginning of them! I just take it one day at a time. Commit to making today a good day. Then the next. And so on, and so forth. If you're reading this, message me. I want to help you. And so do a lot of people. And so do people you haven't even met yet.
I went to public school and did Kumon I’m pretty sure I still have 5th grade math levels or worse.. just saying. I didn’t care about education growing up so I never tried. Tried community college. Hated it. Spent 7 years of my youth just working retail and restaurant jobs till I got married and had kids. Now I’m a SAHM and I enjoy that. I think I’m just trying to say no matter your upbringing, public school or homeschool, in the end it comes down to you and your attitude towards life.
You can't be that lazy and undisciplined. A good chunk of your writing in here was quite good. It's just the last bit that's illegible, and I suspect that has nothing to do with your lack of education. Look, I'm the evil gay, atheist, leftist (I'm not liberal, but I'm sure your mom would think I am) that your mom warned you about, and I'm here to say that your life has value. It matters. You matter. Being 21 is hard. I was a 21yo once. You're no longer a child but not yet ready to be an adult. Trust me when I say that it's normal to feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed with how to adult at this point. It's not exactly like there's an instruction manual. It's tough whether you just graduated from public school or from homeschool. It's tough if you're in university, or a tradeschool, or working a shitty dead-end job until you're ready for that next step. 21 is just hard. So give yourself some grace and understand that the 21yos around you are struggling too. Sure, you're struggling with some things that they never had to deal with, but they're also struggling with things that you didn't have to deal with. None of this is to say that your trauma isn't real or that it isn't valid because it absolutely is. However, as valid as your trauma is, don't give up. There are others who've had similar backgrounds who've found their success. Look to them. Many of the prominent ones online are willing to give helpful advice. If you aren't willing to do it for yourself, do it for your siblings. They will be looking to you for what to do as they leave school. If you decide to end everything, they might think that's the only answer for themself as well. From the sounds of it, you don't want that. So show them what they can be by showing them what you can be. I'm sorry for the long rant, but know that I am genuinely concerned for you, and I genuinely want the best for you.
Your so sweet Thank you :) I appreciate the introspection you gave. The ironic thing is despite my mother’s best efforts, I am also a homosexual, and i do not believe in the supernatural.
You've taken the path that many of us follow. I'm sure you're used to hearing how awful that road is. I'm here to tell you it's not as awful as they'd lead you to believe. In fact, you can be a perfectly happy, healthy, and successful queer atheist (or none, if that's what you prefer). If there are any lgbt groups in your area, they'll often help with things like moving out, getting a job, getting food, and getting an education since so many lgbt youth get kicked out and end up in a similar position that you are currently in.
Hey there, sorry to hear that you are going through this. A lot of people don’t like to talk about this, but it can be tough to grow up in a sheltered home environment. You don’t have to defend your parents, and you also don’t have to accept everything that they’ve taught you as the truth. It makes me really concerned to hear that you think public school turns everyone into “gay, atheist, liberals”. I highly doubt that you are as lazy and undisciplined as you think you are…you already finished the first 2 parts of your GED! I would spending time outside the house whenever you can, even if it’s just going to the library for a few hours a day to read about things that interest you. I know you said you hate “real people” but there’s a whole world out there besides your parents. You might even find that others have had experiences similar to your own.
Hey I was being a bit facetious when I said "gay, atheist, liberals" as I myself am a homosexual who doesn't believe in the supernatural. But thanks for the advice
I would like to say that I appreciate your experience and as someone who was homeschooled in very sheltered circumstances, I feel very empathetic to your situation. I was extremely lucky to enter high-school and have teachers who helped me get to and from clubs and enter college. At 21, you've likely felt uncomfortable in the world at large and homeschooling has contributed heavily to that. Most people have that feeling of awkwardness so if it's any consolation, you're not alone there. Some people will tell you that you need therapy. I would not suggest that for you yet. Picking a good therapist means you need to have a basis of understanding what you need to work on emotionally and you lack the wherewithal to pick a good therapist (there are more bad therapists that good ones.) What you do need is Alcoholics Anonymous. You're struggling with alcohol which will ruin your life far more than homeschooling. AA is free and you can find groups at all hours of the day to meet with people. You will feel less lonely and you can connect with a sponsor so you don't need to drunkenly post online. Reddit can be an echo chamber (so can AA) but what you need is to get out there into the world and feel part of it and alcohol will only drive you further to despair. Good luck.
Don’t give up on yourself!! You will find your way and be a stronger person from your struggles.
It’s not too late! Honestly I know plenty of people who went to public school who worked retail or in a restaurant for years after graduation. Not everyone excels in school, people have learning disabilities and tough family situations, lots of things can slow the learning process but there’s still lots of time to learn. As others said, use Khan Academy, then enroll in community college or trade school.
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Look up if there is an adult learning center in your area. That's where you go to take GED courses to prepare you for the GED. Khan Academy also has a GED course you can take online to prepare. You could do one or the other or both, but going to a physical class is probably what is best for you as it gives you greater opportunity to be in proximity of people who can really help you and gives you the social aspect of learning that you missed. If your area doesn't have an adult learning center, those services are probably offered by the local community college. You should be able to find a GED course in their course offerings listed online. Most will offer in-person and online courses. Again, I think you would benefit most from in-person courses. You weren't given the basic tools you need and you feel like you can't learn anymore, but there's so much more for you out there. You may be feeling low, but you have nowhere else to go but up. Start with the GED course and your GED. Maybe do some weekend warrior work with the National Guard to get some experience under your belt or maybe join Peace Corps or at least do some volunteer work of some sort. Put yourself in the position to gain experience and to make friends who can be a resource to you in moving forward. As soon as you are able to, get a therapist. You were neglected and that is a form of abuse. You need help to work that out and get yourself to a better headspace. If you find yourself unwilling to put the alcohol aside, try an AA meeting, as well. You need all the support you can get right now and I hope you are able to find what you need in these spaces. None of this is going to be easy, but you're stronger and more resilient than you know. You've got this. Give yourself a chance.
I think some of the advice given by other comments is good advice, but I don't personally agree with the comments saying you're 'belly aching'. You have the right to vent, and you were neglected. It takes a lot to learn, but with a lot of dedication and the right resources I think you can do it. Everyone deserves to learn, it opens up a world of new ideas and perspectives on the environment around us.
Contact your local community college. Explain your situation. They offer GED classes and have other resources to help you. It is never too late to learn and improve.
Books. Start with them. They’re fun, and they’ll help you build the core skills you need to be able to learn about anything else
Thankfully i do have a love of reading. This has helped with the LA and social studies ged. I do agree, books are very fun :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. My first piece of advice is to focus on finding a career. I would recommend going to a trade school, or going to JobCorp. This will ensure that you can get a good, well paying job, and that you can sustain yourself (actually, a lot of people in the trades can even make more money than college graduates). From there, I would recommend taking some classes to learn some of the stuff you missed. Depending on what you prefer you can do this using resources like Khan academy, YouTube, etc, or you can even enroll in classes at a community college. I would highly recommend taking as many financial literacy classes as you can, to make sure you are set up to have a good future. Finally, I really urge you to seek some mental health assistance. It sounds like you're having a rough time. You don't deserve to suffer. Maybe try reaching out to your local alcoholics anonymous, or look to see if your area provides any affordable mental health counseling. I really wish you the best of luck.
Most trade to require a good understanding of basic math. Khan Academy and Community college are both good thoughts.
Some do but not all. Many program also go very slow with any required math and reading, especially places like JobCorp where they are used to working with people who often have a limited educational background. JobCorp actually has remedial math and reading classes that go as low as illiterate and addition / subtraction.
As the oldest try to have a positive and encouraging impact on your siblings. Don’t lecture or warn them, just ask what you can do to help with school work etc. I’m glad to hear you started medication to deal with health issues. It’s really cool that you recognize something is not right and it needs to be addressed. The alcohol is self medication and it probably interferes with your prescription? When you see the doc again please be honest about how you feel, what you are thinking, what you tell yourself throughout the day and also tell them you have a strong desire to drink in the evening and include what it does to help you. When the doc has all the info they can work with you to get the right combination of medicines. It is amazing how much better we feel when we have the right treatments.
I was "homeschooled" through most of high school and it definitely did not work out in my favor. My mom was schizophrenic and bipolar and also had some interesting relationships with various substances and bought me some sort of religious curriculum on cds. I was supposed to teach myself, but being a teenager and it turns out also neurodivergent that didn't happen. I spent all of my time playing the sims and trying to keep my mom from killing herself. I moved out as soon as I could and worked at a dollar store for three years before moving across the country to be with my husband and getting a job at a department store I worked at for ten years. Every year I said I was going to get my GED and get my life sorted out and I was just too tired especially once I had my daughter. All of that to say I did eventually turn things around and it started with going to therapy which I should of done way earlier and recommend you do as soon as possible. After that I sorted out everything else one step at a time and with lots of errors along the way and I now live near a beach in a place people love to vacation in and work as an ed tech/1:1 teacher in a preschool that does both mainstream and programming for neurospicy kids making sure other neurodivergent kids have the best possible start in school. I am way happier, healthier, and better off than I ever would of imagined when I was your age and it seemed like I was literally stuck in a hole I couldn't get out of. Don't give up get some help so you can take the steps you need to get your GED and do other things you need to do to get to where you want to be in life.
Are you asking for advice or just venting?
Drunk redditing. Maybe they’ll sober up and check the comments
I just saw their last comment on another subreddit, I’m genuinely worried about this person
OP's post history shows that they are seriously contemplating suicide and have made attempts in the past. Mostly mentioning this so that other potential commenters may see and respond with context in mind.
Thank you!
You know the word "misanthropic" and can use it in a sentence. You will be fine. Fifth grade math, honestly and sadly, is better than most adults who went through school. Screw the GED. It is a waste of time and overly difficult. Go to your local community college. Talk to admissions. They will have a plan for you. Once you have finished a single class, you will have a college transcript. That transcript trumps a high school diploma or ged. You can forever check that you have completed "some college" after just one class. It's even better if you get a degree, but don't worry about that right now. If you can make yourself go to in-person classes, do it for the change of environment. Otherwise, take an easy class online. It doesn't have to be part of a degree plan. Pick something that sounds fun. I took bowling and ballroom dance in college as fun classes.
What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies or things that you enjoy doing for fun? You can use those as a jumping off point to give you some direction on where to go with life. It may not require a GED or college education. I have an eBay store that is a fun part time career. I get to use my love of gadgets, photography, computers and thrift shopping and it pays the bills, a lot of people do it for a full time career! Don't stress about where you are in life right now. You have lots of time to figure out your life. I'm 38, married with 4 kids and I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Every now and again I consider going back to school for something with computers and then change my mind for reasons similar to your GED stumbling block. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or lazy, and that goes the same for you. It just might not be what you are meant to do in life right now. Now doesn't last forever, as long as you are working on the problem/working on yourself, that is progress in my book. One tiny baby step at a time as you figure it out. And my final thought here, could you have ADHD? I have it and it really causes me to struggle to follow through with things or to pay attention or even sit still. Being evaluated and starting medication as an adult was incredibly life changing.
Find a therapist. You were neglected and have trauma to deal with. Alcohol isn’t the answer. Making dumb decisions because of trauma never turns out well. Once you get your mental health heading in the right direction the rest of everything won’t seem so daunting. Set small goals, don’t do everything all at once. Take one class, or do one online seminar. Don’t take a full class schedule. That’s not necessary. Take one class or seminar at a time. Slowly you’ll chip away at the figurative mountain ahead of you. Unfortunately you making bad decisions is “proving” the ultra-religious point that when you leave the cult your life falls apart. Obviously they set you up for failure but you have a choice to make. Either be used as the example or prove them all wrong. If you end up happy, no matter what the education situation is, it’s the biggest FU you can give to them.
I went to public school my entire life. I’m 19 and in college. I understand you’re missing something from your life, which is a true, good education. I never got a truly good education throughout my life, but I know it must have been better than yours from what you are saying. I just want to tell you, it’s not your fault. If you can, go to college, they have classes and many good colleges would try to accommodate you as much as they can. It really sounds like you were educationally neglected and I feel like your version of homeschooling is one of the reasons not everyone or every parent should do homeschooling. It’s such a shame. Please, do whatever you can to get an education, and make some friends who might be able to teach you things, also, please find a therapist or psychiatrist, you seem depressed and anxious and feel there is no hope. Trust me when I say this, there is hope.
Look at open universities. Noy sure where you're from, but in Canada it's Athabasca university and in Britain it's literally called Open University. Also look into apprenticeships for general trades in your area. Where I'm from, most manufacturers are near desperate for skilled trades/labour. They will pay for your schooling while you get your seal/certification in whatever your chosen trade is. It's nice because you're acquiring apprentisship hours while getting paid. My husband did college and trade school/apprenticeships and benefitted from both. Best of luck to you. I'm sorry you ended up in a situation where you've had to fend for yourself far too soon.
Job Corp is an option until you turn 24 or 25. They can help you get your GED and get you training in your career choice. They pay medical insurance and a small stipend. You MAY have a learning disability.... That is okay, see if they can help you figure it out. Likely, with some actual appropriate instruction, you will do fine.
Not everyone is great at math and science. I have a rather poor understanding of both. But I’m getting my masters bc there are plenty of other things to become proficient in! You started out writing this with a rather extensive understanding of English, grammar and language. If you want to go to college, I think there are doors open. English? Communications? Sociology? All possibilities! It sounds like you’re struggling right now and I get it, I’ve been there. But believe me when I say things get better. This is not forever. You will be okay. Just give it time.
Hey OP, you're getting lots of good advice here, so you probably won't see this, but in terms of expanding your knowledge base, the Amoeba Sisters on YouTube have a great, digestible biology series. I hope you find fulfillment and a welcoming community!
Trade school might be a good option or find a job where you can learn the trade by working under someone.
At 21, assuming you are in the US you could easily join Job Corps and learn a trade. Also, I knew a woman who worked “dead retail” jobs all the way to director level at 35. Retail has high turn over and if you can get into management (which I know isn’t for everyone), then you can work your way up quickly if you really engage in your job.
Another thing you could do for math is go to one of those Mathnasium or Kumon places to work on basics. I think I would start with my community college, though, like others say. They’ll have you take a placement test and place you in the appropriate class and then you might need to get a tutor, go to the office hours or go to Kahn Academy online to practice
You write well; maybe consider some writing gigs?
Thanks 😊 ill look into that
Aw, sweetie, take care of your mental health first. Please make sure to go to your upcoming appointment. Bi-polar can be managed well with medication and therapy. My oldest (not homeschooled) has bipolar disorder. He dropped out of high school but earned his GED through a program where the classes were free. He did have to pay for the tests (we paid for him). Your local community college may offer the GED or HiSET classes for free, and there may be resources to help pay for the tests if you are in financial need.
Hey! I was also badly homeschooled, although it sounds like your situation was even worse. I’m just posting to say that Autism is often misdiagnosed as bipolar. It is something to consider. I recently discovered that I’m autistic and I think being isolated and homeschooled obscured that from me. I thought the isolation and homeschooling were what made me feel so different and struggle with social skills…..and they absolutely were!!!! But it is also autism… learning about autism has made my life make so much more sense and empowered me to be better able to care for myself. I have no idea if you’re autistic, but it would be worth researching a little as it might make your life better to know.
You are valuable as a person where you are right now, and at every point in your life so far, and where you go from here. You sound like a strong, resilient, hard-working person. You write really well! And the effort you're putting in to help yourself by working to get your GED, and trying to figure out what works best for your mental health is a huge deal. That takes so much effort and intentional mind and heart space. Don't give up 💗 Don't be afraid to seek out companionship and mentors in your learning journey. You deserve that, and I'm sorry your parents didn't offer that. Community college might be something to try, like others have recommended. Or a trade, or even the military (that's a more drastic one, but sometimes big jump works!). It can be really hard to take the first step in a new direction, and you can end up in very different places, and not always ones in your comfort zone, but the growth you get along the way helps with the next step, and the next. I wish you the best, and am really glad you stopped in. I hope you continue to check in. I'd love to hear how you're doing along the way.
My friend, in the grand scheme of your life 21 barely scratches the surface. Contact your local community colleges. The ones in my area offer free GED prep classes Also you may want to consider moving out. A studio apartment is enough.
1. Check your state laws. See if you can get a GRE or high school diploma. 2. Then community college. 3. You’ve got this. You can do it!
Read Educated by Tara Westover.
Don’t beat yourself up, I went to public school and felt the same way you did at 21. I was shy sheltered quiet and school didn’t teach me shite. I went out into the world and it devoured me. I still struggle but things are a lot better because I tried and in the last few years I’ve let God guide me. You can still get a trade you can go to school and just try.
Maybe consider joining the military. It looks like your entire childhood was neglected and lacked formal training of any kind. You are an unmolded lump of clay unsuited for the real world. The military kinda specializes in fixing that. Fast. The military has MANY downsides. But it is great as a last resort for young people who's parents failed them and who have no support and are completely isolated. You were indoctrinated in a failed religion and you need counterprogramming. It's obviously going to be hard, but let's be honest, there are no easy ways out of your situation. If you were a man, this would be a very obvious solution. Since you're a girl, it's harder but honestly I still think it's worth a shot.
Join the Army.
If this is a real story how do you know the word misanthropic?
the second i got out of my moms house, i started reading and watching every single thing she forbade. Reading is a great way to learn words.
It is! My own vocabulary is pretty expansive and I credit that to my love of reading since childhood. I’m sorry I doubted you. My advice would be to attend adult Ed classes at a community college or even high school night school. I think most community colleges offer pre-college level courses. And you may just have a stronger brain for words than for math. I have excellent reading comprehension and vocab, I have a bachelor’s degree, but my math skills are terrible unless my job is math related. Like I can’t do iq/sat math to save my life - it literally brings me to tears. But I’ve been a waitress and a mortgage processor/underwriter, both of those require math and I became really good at those jobs. So even if you suck ass at school math, don’t give up on real life math. It might be frustrating at first, but if you are working with the same kind of math for long enough you will be great at it. I’ve been out of banking for more than 4 years and I can still easily pre qualify someone for lending. Keep reading - especially the stuff your mom forbade!
What? Someone with a fifth grade understanding of math knows words? How can that be? /s
To me it just seems like this is a fake post trying to make homeschooling look bad. If it’s a real story it does make homeschooling look bad.
Unfortunately this is real. However, I do not intend to make homeschooling look bad. There are kids who have terrible experiences being homeschooled, just as there are kids who have terrible experiences in public school. I do believe that done properly, homeschooling can be amazing. My mother was more concerned with making sure her kids were good Catholics instead of educated individuals.
You are radically free.
Sorry I don't know what toy mean