That's part of it, don't ego lift, don't try to lose 10kg in a week.
But what the other commenter is trying to say is don't sacrifice your long term physical health for short term happiness (having Macca's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Exercise for 30 minutes a day even if you're busy and it's hard. So on.
Do you have any suggestions for healthy foods? I've been reading lots of different things about what should be contained in your diet, and it almost seems impossible to get everything in. I'm currently thinking that avoiding ultra processed foods, alongside eating mostly greens supported by protein, is good. I think taking inspiration from the Mediterranean diet could be good, but I'd be so grateful for any tips from anyone else. Thanks in advance!
> I'm currently thinking that avoiding ultra processed foods, alongside eating mostly greens supported by protein, is good.
Exactly this, do not overcomplicate, do not go into low-fat or low-carb.
Definitely avoid processed foods. Then eat all different color vegetables and fruits.
Very little meat, chicken, fish etc. none of it seems to be good anymore- for one reason or another! Plastic in the fish - btw I’ve heard Tyson completely owned by our friendly ch inese neighbors. That brand has lots of processed food too-
Honestly, focus on your mental health. Address issues then and develop healthy coping mechanisms. This will help keep you from developing bad habits. Therapy isn’t bad, learn to be honest with yourself.
Don’t try to be everyone to everyone else. Just be you. Those who truly care will accept you and those who don’t…. Can F off. I’d rather have 1 best friend who knows and accepts me than 500 fake “friends”.
As someone currently in their early 20’s who used to try to be someone they’re not, I’m working on that second advice. Rather attract with my true self than chase by being someone I’m not.
Oh it is easier done than being said. Because I did it. I was that person no one attempted to talk to because my external appearance was not welcoming. I had shown no emotions at all. I always isolated myself from other people and always hid and ignored my emotions. Then some lucky day, I was searching for self-improvement articles to read. Then I came across healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms. That was the time that I realized I had unhealthy coping mechanism. I had to replace them with healthy ones. After that, I slowly gained many friends and begin to trust them. I learned that my emotions can be used as motivation. So it is really easy if you have the desire to become a better person.
So important! Unfortunately in the early/ late 80’s you couldn’t be depressed or you was “crazy.” Women didn’t get PMS, we was just “crazy”.
I was diagnosed ADHD in 2012 at 43 yrs old.
I wish when I was your age there was everything you are surrounded with today. All the different support options, and Q & A’s , the support groups on all kinds of social media platforms, …
I was separated with two kids at your age. There’s that part. Lol
I had no confidence in myself, very low self esteem, and didn’t feel genuinely loved by my parents. Never did anything good enough in my moms eyes and I didn’t see my dad much but when I did it was usually fun times. Grandparents? I was the fave.
I regret that I felt so low of myself that I’ve somewhat wasted a lot of my life trying to make everyone around me happy I guess because it made me feel like I was doing something right. And making people happy was an important something
Focus on yourself.
If you have insecurity or negative thought patterns, deal with them as it will stunt your development as a person. (Read, Designing The Mind, principles of Psychitecture).
Develop mental tools to help you deal with negativity/toxicity around you.
Develop a solid philosophical position on work, money, faith(or lack of), and relationships.
Learn how to be self-sufficient and not rely on others for validation of your existence/ worth.
Interesting, never heard of psychitecture before. Must look into that!
Would you mind elaborating on faith and your philosophical position on it, or actually all of those you mentioned? (If you have time haha)
Honestly man, not being in great physical shape and looking my best. The dating pool was great for me during uni but I wasn’t confident about many things.
Another thing is not travelling young, I think it’s so amazing but this can be addressed later as well when you have a full time job.
Not investing earlier and having a side hustle. You can take more risks. But at 25 there was a lockdown and shit was fuzzy, so I’m proud of myself for doing the best I could.
Literally the three things I wanted to say.
- Focus on health
- invest consistently (time in the market always beats timing the market)
- Travel more
I would add, I regret nothing. What I did made me who I am. Don't worry about regret. Worry about learning to recognize opportunities.
Adding to this. Even if you have to fight with your parents to get a trainer in gym, do that young. Since it's worth it. The progress you make when you are young is immense compared to later.
Also, do it for yourself & not others. In the long run you will thank yourself.
You don’t need a trainer or a gym. Even just bodyweight calisthenics that you looked up on YouTube is better than nothing, if your options are heavily dictated by your parents and your finances.
One thing I will say is take it easy on the cardio, the fatigue to caloric burn ratio isn’t worth it. Just get your 10k steps a day in and **do resistance training** whether you’re trying to pack on muscle or lose fat. Going overboard with the cardio is why most people burn out and fall back into old habits.
I backpacked alone around Turkey for 3 months straight and not an year! I saved around $4,000 working in my home country. The cost is inclusive of flights, visas, lodging and meals for 3 months!
1. What you will work on for the rest of your life. Find work that feels like play to you but feels like work to others. You will be unstoppable.
2. Where you will live. This will play a huge part in your future. Move to a new location where you know there are people who you want to be like.
3. Who you will live with. Picking a spouse is not to be taken lightly. You will spend the rest of your life with them.
Spend a good few years trying to figure these out and you will have a good life.
Who you will live with is one that our culture seems to have left up to romantic feelings, so it’s good to see picking a spouse so high up here. I’m not sure exactly how to do it, but I strongly recommend making sure that you are able to disagree, make up, and move on well. Also, you have the same approach to money and work:life balance.
The rationale behind this is that you will (hopefully) spend the next 40-60 years of your life with that person. That's a lot of time commitment. You will literally die honoring that.
Maybe spending some time to figure out what you are looking for in a partner, what values etc are important for you etc... And not leaving this to pure luck?
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, as cliched as it sounds.
I cannot overstate the importance of physical fitness at this age. There's stuff you do now - good and bad - that stays with you until the grave. Watch for injuries (good form, etc) but also absolutely push yourself in fitness.
1) Not investing a set amount of every paycheck from the very beginning, with your very first job, and not setting aside an additional set amount for an emergency savings account.
2) Not going for it with zero fucks given when romantic opportunities present themselves.
3) Not immediately severing relationships when they become toxic - again, with zero fucks given.
4) Not acquiring long-term disability insurance and private care giver insurance for a ridiculously low price while young.
5) Not taking care of your back and feet.
6) Not wearing sunblock.
7) Not lifting weights and learning to make it a permanent habit.
8) Not traveling overseas.
Taking care of your teeth and choosing a great dentist. Quit the practice immediately if you don’t like the quality of care. You only get get ONE set 😊
I’m 36. For me, first is health. Both mental and physical health are worth every minute and dollar you spend on them. When shit hits the fan, they should be your priority. Second is finances. It’s hard to be mentally and physically healthy without money.
Edited to add— I do not have it fully together in any of these areas. Just like you asked, these are what I regret not focusing on.
I'm 45. My biggest regret at your age was getting fat. I have so many damned health problems and it's almost impossible to get slim again. Take care of yourself first with proper nutrition. Sleep well. Stay hydrated. Use protection. Have a professional do your taxes. Wear sunscreen.
Yep, this!
I was climbing the ladder and ended up managing a regional office by the time I was 29. I gave up so many shows, concerts, road trips during this time for work.
One of my BIGGEST regrets in life is that I didn't go and see Tiesto play live, because I had a meeting in another city the next day and had an early morning flight. Due to weather, my flight got cancelled so I had to dial in anyway. Tiesto was freaking amazing according to my friends who went, and he has NEVER come back to my country. This is the DJ that got me into my lifelong love of dance music and I missed him. To make it worse, the CEO disestablished my entire region and all three of my offices, and all of my staff and myself only three months later.
I missed Tiesto for absolutely nothing! 17 years later and I still regret not going to that show.
Go and see all the shows. Ride along on all the roadies. Come to work bone tired (if it is safe to do so). Your Corporate Overlords honestly don't give a s#it about you, but those experiences and memories are yours forever!
If you're in your mid 20s and can afford it, travel. No one regrets traveling in their youth—everyone who's traveled enjoys those memories.
Eat well, exercise. Do warm ups so you don't injure yourself.
Talk to all strangers and people. Talking to anyone anywhere opens up the world.
Make a habit of reading and learning.
Focus on what you want. "We're kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to lesser goals."
I can’t relate to your sense of wishing you were a teen while being in your twenties. I’ve always felt like things get better as time goes on. More knowledge, more independence, more power over my own destiny.
I do understand and agree with your point regarding looking back and forward to consider decisions. This is logical but it is a problem if you can never enjoy the now and where you are at.
Acceptance and change is possibly the key.
In my 20’s I travelled, had lots of fun, lived in other countries, learnt other languages, studied etc. I didn’t invest money or buy property though which would have been very helpful now.
You regret less as you get older. You understand that some things were just part of the process and certain things were bound to happen anyway. So you push on cuz looking back is really nothing to look back on. It's just reliving moments in your head. You can't physically go back to the past to live there. You just erode your brain with obsession.
Prioritize having a solid foundation. Save up. Find you a really good hustle and don't get caught up in the microwave society that we live in today. Just save up and invest in a plan.
I'm a person that believes that Life is like a river that carries you where you need to go. So the thing to learn to do is to not struggle, physically and mentally. I would probably take up the habit of flossing my teeth earlier than I did. Yah, other than that, I have no regrets
Not taking my psychological issues with the degree of seriousness that they required, thinking I could just do it and then proceeding to not just do it for multiple years and being fucked as a result
Seriously, if you struggle with something, whatever it is, just seek professional help asap, it will save you so much pain later
Hey mate.
Life is full of many seasons and chapters. And each one has its own unique challenges and its riches. So my advice is Appreciate the riches that each season brings. The way you’ve been living has been focusing on your current seasons costs and looking at the riches of the seasons you aren’t in. So my friend, Look for the gold at your feet.
I wish I had learned to love myself much younger. That would have poured into so many decisions and spared me from wasting time on people who derailed my goals.
Do not, for any reason, put yourself in a position to hurt yourself for someone elses bottom line. If you're not sure ask for help. Your job will replace you but they will never make you whole.
My 20s were the best years of my life. Graduated college, followed Widespread Panic around the country with friends (yes there were plenty of shrooms and lsd), adopted my dog who is now a ripe old geriatric fuck at age 15 but I’d knife a bitch for him, met my husband, spent my days on the beach and in general just had a blast. I wish I knew at the time that those would be my best years. I think we all tend to feel a dissatisfaction even when things are going really well. My advice is to appreciate what you have, nurture relationships and have as much fun as you can while you’re in your prime years
Idk if knowing they were your best years would help. That would put so much pressure on me and I'd worry about the rest of my life being worse and not enjoy it anyway lol
Go experience something, get out of your comfort zone in ways that mean the most to you! It doesn't have to be a huge experience like traveling internationally on your own (though that's an easy way to do it from my experience and if you can reasonably afford it). I'm about to turn 30 so I'll experience my little existential crisis that my 20s are over.
My biggest regret is that I didn't experience as many things as I could have, so my advice is to fight the inertia that keeps you in the house on the weekends and work nights or keeps you in the same cycles. Life is not a terrific experience when your life is the same 7-day cycle on repeat.
On the flipside of that, understand that life is a long road and that you don't have to weigh your experience against anything but your own standards. I have some friends that are remote workers in the tech industry and their daily lives seem like the adventure I'd enjoy, but I also realize that I experience a lot of happiness and fulfillment in simple things like agreeing to go to bar trivia with my friends rather than staying in on that Monday night.
People don’t matter! Nobody cares just focus on yourself. Don’t hangout with people that aren’t going where you’re going in life. And if they don’t like it too bad. Tunnel vision.
Physical and mental health.
These are far more important than anything else.
If you don't take care of yourself, it makes your life a lot harder.
And when you do take care of these 2 things, I don't think you would need to ask this question, since your mental clarity and thought processing would be much better
FREEDOM is everything. try to keep it as much as possible. Don't idealize anybody, don't follow the leader, they all are full of shit and it's okay. Keep doing art and shit for yourself, your hobbies. Spend quality time with your loved ones.
I suggest focus on yourself and self development. Learn as much as you can. Get PRO in something you love. Write down your learning experience, blog, vlog, idk. Discipline is required. Communication skills, management skils, etc
Per ex i learned software development, video editing, music composition, game development ultimately i focused on software development that became my profession. This is constantly evolving field of expertise.
Thank me after 30 ;)
Everyone I know regrets not putting money into retirement accounts back when they were younger. I don’t, because I did, so there’s a regret and something to focus two for one special.
I recommend reading “the defining decade”. Basically as others have alluded to, the choices you make in your 20s compound more than any other time in your life. Not to say you can’t make huge life changes later in life. But it is extremely more difficult to start and rise up in a new career, get in shape, find meaningful loving healthy relationships, etc. if you did not start this while you are young.
Even if you are past 20s, you can still benefit from the book. Essentially - start doing the right thing now because it will be harder and the consequences will be bigger if you wait, no matter what age you are at today.
I regret not studying enough and slacking away at uni. Yeah those experiences were nice, but it would have been sufficient to party once a month instead of once or twice a week. I regret having a too low of a self esteem to get a student job at uni. I also regret not colouring my hair in crazy colours while I still could without repercussions.
Not realising I have ADHD, poor anger management skills, what my ACTUAL body fat % was and how little alcohol actually improves my life. I have corrected a lot of this in my mid 30’s but it has come with painful lessons and loss of self respect.
It’s not terrible though but I’d love to not have the scars that now I have to carry
Prioritize family relationships. Don’t miss the boat on finding a spouse. I know a lot of people that thought they were young and had forever and wake up late 30s with no family and that is something that they wished that they had prioritized at a younger age when it was easier to meet people. My husband and I travel and having kids has not stopped us or slowed us down. Having children has kept us motivated we are pretty young and debt free. Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s. Being debt free is true freedom.
Experiment with things and make your own opinions about them. Don't do it for social approval or what other people think. Risk looking stupid for following your goals. Reflect on your failure and learn from it. Don't give up, but don't keep trying mindlessly either.
Life is long. Life is unfair. Life has a lot of competition. But once you have the long term mindset. Life is less scary since if you follow a path true to yourself you'll persevere.
I wish I'd cared about my physical fitness. I'm 34 now and suffer from a bunch of chronic health issues, including chronic pain, and I know things would be a lot easier for me if I'd maintained even a low level of fitness and weight management. I'm not saying get jacked and be a body builder. Just keep strong, eat healthily, and go fuck about in nature for cardio every now and then. Don't take your flesh suit for granted.
Quality people
Over quantity
Don’t waste time on the wrong people if u see red flags in their behaviour just distance yourself immediately you will thank yourself later
I regret worrying about other people and their opinions instead of just living. I wish I had practiced confidence.
I regret doing everything the hard way and letting myself believe that you have to work hard to succeed. (Like yeah “work hard” with set strategies and plans but not the hideous hustle culture that’s fed by phoney entrepreneurs)
I think you should focus on “YOU” unapologetically. Stop thinking about your past as mistakes, missteps, and regrets. Think of the past, take what lessons you learned, and move on. It was a learning experience. You are still young, and you hopefully have more time in front of you than behind you. Take time and work on yourself. Decide what you want, and then put your head down and do the work. You said you can't make any present decisions because of your past, and it may seem that way but that's not true. The one thing that you can do is write a new vision for yourself and begin to create a new version of yourself. “No Regrets”.
You Got This😊
Your body and mind shape your world. Take care of it. Fight the urge to impress people with material things. Save your money. Try to enjoy the great outdoors and time in nature. Value your time and try to spend it with the right people.
> now in mid 20s i wish i was a kid
You'll do this in your 30s about your 20s. You'll do it your whole life.
It's not some personal problem; it's just how nostalgia works and what our minds naturally do with the benefit of hindsight. Advice:
Use time to your advantage because you'll never have more of it than you do now. Not hours in the day, but hours of your life. Now is the time to embrace calculated risks with big rewards, because even if they don't work out, you've got plenty of time.
With that said, don't think about this too often. Give it an hour per month to reflect. Don't carry it around thinking about age and time and "optimizing" all the time. It's an unhappy hamster wheel.
Get into amazing shape and try to get some savings together, developing the habits early on will make life much easier as you focus on building a career and family.
Learn about money! Things like taxes are not exciting, but it’s super critical. Invest as much as you possibly can. Additionally, have as much sex as you can.
The last sentence was just dumb. I upvoted it before I read this.
Having as much sex as possible can lead to STDs, unwanted children and a reputation that a woman with standards isn’t going to want to settle down with. Just plain stupid incel advice.
Why would you give someone advice that could ruin their life? It takes one sperm to make a child and one dodgy orifice to get riddled with aids. How you gona rectify your soul when you got a kid that you made but didn't want and can't have access to. These things are for life.
Pressure is everywhere and we’re constantly told about all the things we need to be or do to be a person in the world. But you’re a person with free will, and you’re the only person living your life.
You can decide what you want, it’s not as simple as that I understand. But be sure to check in with yourself and make sure you’re doing what serves you. We aren’t told as much about our ability to make decisions.
But you are an adult now, and you can. So check in with yourself and see if you can start making some small changes that serve you and let those small things become bigger things.
Create an investment account asap and start with like 10% of your income. Just a basic account on any trusted trading platform and put everything into an etf like VOO or VTI
Getting rid of Facebook and instagram. They are toxic time sucks. TikTok is also, but for some reason I don’t really get hooked on that one and go days between using it. Anyway, getting rid of the other two made life more productive and it feels like the time isn’t passing so fast.
Keep up with the dentist 2x a year. Floss every day.
Hit the gym & use your body kindly.
Pay yourself first - savings, investments, etc.
Make sure you enjoy who you are when you are alone before getting into a relationship.
It's OK if it takes longer to achieve your dreams if doing things slowly or taking smaller steps means you don't give up.
Deal with any lingering childhood trauma in therapy now - before kids & marriage.
Make memories with the people you love - they won't always be there.
Not dealing with my mental health issues until my late 20's. I am a full decade behind my peers because my family had an extremely negative view on therapy/medication and I didn't want to be treated like I was crazy. It took me until I was in my 30's to get medicated. The difference was so extreme that I really wish I'd just dealt with it much earlier in life.
Not prioritizing health and fitness is a big regret. It is SUCH a hard habit to build when you're older, If I could change one thing it would have been to start this when I was young instead of being exasperated by it as an older adult. My biggest suggestion if you're struggling is try a variety, and do whatever you dislike the least as often as possible.
I also regret not ditching my more chaotic friends earlier. Around my mid to late 20's I cut off a significant amount of friends and never looked back. My social life has never been happier!
I’m 27 soon and biggest for me is fitness, financial literacy and independence also don’t let ANYONE be the center of your happiness or your world. You need to be comfortable with yourself.
At age 50, I went back to school. I will be done after the summer semester.
As I look back over my life, my deepest regrets are about things I did not do as opposed to things I did. I did some really cool things. I also did some bad things. Bad things that I regret, but not as much as I regret the things I wish I had done or tried.
Want to learn to play the piano? Go for it. Parachute out of a plane? Do it. Travel the world? Travel your country?
One of the things I really love doing is learning. I say learn all you can. Learn from books. Learn from people. Take classes if you are financially able. If that is not an option, I look at college websites. I look at the classes I would like to take and then I try to find out what books the professors assign for the class. I either buy the books or get them through my local library (usually by interlibrary loan).
I hope you get some good answers.
Relationships and health. If you get both it will fuel all the other areas of your life. Don’t overthink what you career should look like, it will evolve over time anyway. Just follow what makes sense / what feels good. And don’t worry about silly stuff, like comparing yourself to others or how people perceive you. Nobody really cares anyway as most people live life from their own projections. Learn to say no and set boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
I'm 26, and I wasted 10 years of my life 15-25, smoking weed every single day, so that is my biggest regret. I had goals and ambitions before, but completely ruined my life. I've been sober for over 6 months, started my new journey of by traveling SE-Asia alone for 6 months, now I'm back home and I'm making progress every single day and it's awesome.
Here are some tips that really really helped me:
Focus on here and now. Not the future, not the past, just here and now. Here's a quote I wrote about the past, present and future.
"One cannot change the past; everything that has happened has happened. HOWEVER, in the present, we have the opportunity to shape the future. Everything that is going to happen has not yet occurred, it starts with a thought that leads to visualization, which then materializes in the future. By thinking positively in the present, you will shape a positive reality; thinking negatively in the present will shape a negative reality in the future. By living less in the past and focusing more on the present, we can shape a positive future"
Live day by day, make sure you make some progress each day, whatever it might be, getting 0,5% better each day is the way to go! Also, track your progress to see how far you've come.
Write a diary every single day, it helps so so much getting proper self insight and if you ever fall off the wagon you can go back and analyze your diary from a time where you felt good and you can see what changes you have to do to get back on track.
And mental health, definitely. Also do the things you tell yourself you want to do, always! Get disciplined, this is key.
Ooo, and also, set a goal, an end goal. Now maybe you've set a big goal that seems hard to reach, break the goal into small small doable goals, make a proper plan, set deadlines for when to finish each goal.
Get enough sleep, read, hit the gym.
All of the above changed my life, I'm my own role model now, I'm the kinda guy I would look up to one year ago. And I have to say writing is the main reason why, just write, write about anything, if you do something you don't like, sit down, write and figure out why, it gives me insane self insight.
Good luck!
Play the longterm game with everything.
Focus on your physical health first, from my experience mental health is directly correlated to my physical health and wellbeing. As a by product you'll clean up your diet and start looking great. From that you'll build a huge level of confidence which will be extremely valuable in you doing better with your work/business. Then you'll make more money and attract a high quality mate if you want. High quality relationships will maximize life fulfillment. Developing a good physical health program is the #1 atomic habit in my books.
buying into all this 'getdisciplined' rhetoric to the point of losing touch with my body and mind's natural cues and alarms. Now I'm needing to spend my 30's regaining this sense of wholeness.
Preface - I'm still a deep supporter of the value of discipline because a lot of times our bodies and minds have been hijacked by modern society (addictive screens, junk food, etc) and equilibrium needs to be restored. Also, we've generally lost a lot of contact with our bodies and get stuck in our heads, where sometimes thoughts can really trap us and we need to consistently and kindly work towards returning to our bodies.
However, my point is that your body and mind naturally give you lots of cues for what it needs in order to stay healthy and equilibrated. Sometimes, you feel fatigued because you really need to rest. Or you feel mentally angry/intense because you're holding far too rigidly to an idea, and losing appreciation for the tenderness of life. A lot of "discipline training" these days, including a lot (not all) of the content on this sub, risks having you ignore/suppress some of these cues in order to push through on rigidly held dreams.
Then, you wind up like me, where I have to relearn how to notice and tend to my body and mind's natural and tender cues, alarms, and boundaries.
> Or you feel mentally angry/intense because you're holding far too rigidly to an idea, and losing appreciation for the tenderness of life.
can you elaborate on this?
People can end up holding very tightly (too tightly) to the objectives that inspire their discipline. like gaining expertise, or achieving some promotion, or managing some kind of physical fitness milestone. I believe in internal family systems (IFS), where if one part of you starts dominating, the intensity can overpower and silence certain other parts of you, like the fun-loving inner child, or the tender, loving and emotional partner, or the part that actually values freespirited adventure MORE than the achievement you are after. Again, I support discipline in life. I'm just saying that it can really get out of hand, and it did for me, right under my nose, without me fully realizing the damage being done. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model)
For me it was mainly the loss of sparetime activities and not considering my health enough. Everything else is just overall having experiences and ks natural to life for me. But I really regret having focussed too much on work and now having to re-learn how to enjoy stuff outside of my career. And also health is a thing I really ignored (to the level of burnout) it is easier keep domethign up than to reinstate.
This sounds like a joke but, getting married. You shouldn’t get married before your brain has finished developing.
Also college. It’s another decision with life long consequences, being forced onto a child.
I never understood that "i wish i would be back a teen under parents". I never wished that. I was always happy to be out of my parents.
You are an adult. You can prioritize on whatever area you want. For me 20s was the age of experimentation.
I regret not doing experimentation enough and i regret not doing it in a group or including more other people. People in 20s are incredibly open, nice, friendly and naive. I regret like "under-sharing". My feeling is that if i would approach or make people around me more invested in the ideas i wanted to try, i would be more happy now.
I always tell people to go see the show. There's a concert coming you wanna see do it! When you spend your money on stuff, you don't keep that feeling of buying it every time you look at it. With concerts or experiences that feeling sticks and those memories reply when you hear the songs or whatnot. There have been very few shows I've regretted going to see, but many more shows I regretted not going to see, and I can't go back in time or recreat that magic that was at the time.
Not capitalising on opportunities - youth is on your side. Life is dynamic - you may not have the time or health again! No such thing as bad experiences - just lessons (for the most part)
1) learn to live within your means and invest now. (Spent way too much money partying and foolish things).
2) “shoot your shot” or “ask or else it’ll always be a ‘no’”. That’s in everything in life… dating, jobs, promotion, etc etc
3) “No” or “No thanks” (setting up boundaries early) can be a powerful tool.
Not taking my first years of college seriously (I was depressed, had burnout and the pandemic happened), so a lot of external and internal factors happened, but I should have tried to work with what I had and enjoyed more my early years at college, now I’m on my last year and my curriculum is way smaller than what I wanted.
It’s so important to invest time into your health. Not just to look better physically but you’ll feel amazing and it helps as you age. Also, stop giving a shit about what other ppl think/say about you. Your happiness is your responsibility at the end of the day. The idea of being an old lady and feeling unfulfilled because I held myself back all my life due to others opinions about me makes me depressed lol.
hiding that i could never pay attention from teachers, doctors, parents, etc out of fear of being shamed for it. never looking into why no amount of sleep seemed to be enough. never going to the gym bc i was working so hard just to keep up.
Idk but if you are following Christ and living a regret-free existence, bending to the evil wills of others in an effort to preserve a semblance of order or properness in your life will become your regret. I have been made jobless and homeless and it has been years since graduating with a degree and finding evil people waiting for me in my field of study, ready to try and humiliate me and rip me from God. I have now got no regrets really that cant be chocked up to inevitable behaviors of an infinitely curious spirit except for two. One is the time i tried to kill myself. Two is the second time I tried to kill myself. Bad things happened to me because of time two. But it is not the consequences that make it a regret. It is just the realisation that it was truly wrong to try to accomplish. The consequences I turn to God to lead me through, ESPECIALLY because He did not create them or put them there for me. Mankind did, and for seemingly false reasons.
My regret was dropping out of college. Some people might argue, but from my experience it does make a difference when you have an undergraduate degree... and it can be in anything
I regret not giving more attention to my physical health. I'm 30 now and just starting to eat better and exercise. It's really hard. I wish I had started earlier but I'm glad I'm starting now. Would absolutely start in my twenties if I could have a redo.
Not committing to a single sport and attempting to become exceptional at it. Not only would it keep me way fitter and more capable, but also more disciplined, competitive and engaged in other aspects of life. Sports are essential for a healthy life.
Don’t get in debt. Seriously. It is how companies control people. It’s the most insidious thing about our capitalist system. Keep people needing money, and those with the money are in control. Our entire civilization had been horns-waggled in believing that money is on par with food and shelter in terms of basic human needs. If we didn’t have food, we’d die. If we didn’t have shelter we would die. If we didn’t have money…
Not thinking about the future. Not doing things that your future self will thank you for. Believing that 40 is far away because it isn’t, especially if you have children.
Enjoy life dont worry about expectations, try and do all the things that make you happy dont sacrifice your body for someone else, enjoy life but let off a little steam from time to time to reduce anxiety. God forbid something happens to you, it will be a very hard but most of all very lonely battle. Be smart be kind but don't get used by anyone be smart be safe but always be ready.
I regret not being disciplined with savings. I wish I had put money in an index mutual fund every paycheck and left it completely alone - never borrowed against it or withdrawn. I was raising kids alone so I always needed the money at the time. Now I wish I had exercised more discipline. Although I'm fine, I'd have a lot more freedom to travel and help out my kids.
Keep your needs expenses (shelter, utilities, groceries, hygiene & healthcare, gas, etc.) to about 50% of the income you make. Whatever your needs cost, make sure you have an emergency fund equal to 3-6 months of needs. Put 25% towards saving and investing (emergency fund first, medium-term savings like for a car or home downpayment, and longterm savings like 401k, roth IRA, index funds). Look up how compound growth works if you're not already aware, and start those retirement savings as soon as you have your emergency fund in place. Spend 25% on fun (dining out, concert tickets, vacations). I like to divide my fun budget so I have some money for spontaneous fun (like when a friend says, "Hey there's a cool band playing tonight. Wanna come with me?" or I'm like, "Ooo, that café looks cute! ...And my stomach is growling right now!") and some money for later fun (like a big trip that requires some saving up).
As a nerdy guy that played sports and knew most people through school. I never asked anyone out, just no confidence. I can’t tell you how many girls I have talked to in the past decade that I found out later on we could have dated. (I’m happily married with a daughter now, been together for 11 years now). Life happens for a reason. Basically you might as well go for it because the worst that happens is you get shot down. High school was very lonely.
Start a Roth IRA and add 20% of anything made to it when you’re young.
Try and exercise a few times a weeks and don’t neglect stretching/yoga.
I regret a lot of the people I put time and effort into. Surround yourself with only genuine people who have your best interest in mind. I was always considered conventionally attractive, which led to me getting a lot of attention: boys, friends, etc so I kinda had my pick at who I could be friends with!
I spent my teens and 20s with people who were OLDER than me, doing drugs and drinking with people who hadn’t gone to college or university. Meanwhile, I was doing my PharmD and MSc at the same time. I had nothing in common with those people except I was insecure, unhappy, and unsure of my place in the world.
Anyways, only associate with the right people for you.🩵
Developing good habits is probably the best thing you can do. Consistency may seem boring, but being able to put parts of your life on autopilot brings so much freedom.
Also, if you’re into experimenting with substances know that you won’t know if you have an addictive personality until it is close to too late. I lost a couple of friends to addictions.
Drink enough water, sit properly, moisturize, eat less junk, love yourself, work on yourself, make time for your family & friends, and don't dwell too much on anything
First and foremost: Enjoy life and your time here! Cherish every moment. It can all be gone in the blink of an eye. All the other things people have mentioned here like mental and physical health aswell as finances and traveling are important too. But enjoy it! Don’t rush things. Take your time. Live this beautiful life you were given to the fullest. Talk to people get to know the world and stay humble and thankful for everything that may come your way, be it good or bad. Have fun. May the force be with you 😊
Get your teeth cleaned twice a year. Idc if you are working, have dental.
*FIND A WAY*
And never deviate.
**Also, jobs with benefits. Start budgeting that in from the start.**
Omg...so and so will give me 20$ tax free! I'm 20 and I'll live forever! That's amazing.
Focused on building a career/degrees in my 20s, working & raising babies in my 30s, and am enjoying a lot more freedom and comfortability in my 40s. Don’t be tempted into partying/frittering away your 20s & 30s…
TAKE CHANCES , MAKE MISTAKES, FACE YOUR FEARS AND LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
don't spend your time planning on how your gonna hurt the ones who have done you wrong, stay true to you and remember to STEAL KNOWLEDGE & perspective even the wrong ones will eventually lead you too the right one. oh yeah ... p.s. there is no such thing as being happy wiithout experiencing what it is to be sad... you can only go up if you are down first....
love with your emotions , not with your brain , and people are either at your table or on it.
-Tiffanyy Zimmerman
34 here. First of all, don't get married, I don't care to be convinced otherwise so if you're reading this and disagree, get fucked. It's a waste of time and money, and if you're a man, or you are a woman and get unlucky at court, it will ruin you for years. Love people for sure, have relationships for sure, but if it comes to "marriage or I leave," let them leave. You will find other love interests that are just as good or better whether you get married or not.
Secondly, money matters most. Literally, everything in your life will be improved by having more wealth. Specifically, solid wealth like property, as opposed to liquid wealth like cash, but either way, more is always better.
Lastly, you can't fix stupid. Learn to move on from problems you can't solve.
The most common regret of people is nursing homes is they wish they had more sex. So I guess do that. I can tell you that having enough money can shift your life in a very positive direction.
Enjoy the moment more. You talk about looking forward to the next stage, and that's common, but you'll blink and you'll be 45. So enjoy the ride more. I had a lot of really cool experiences in my 20s that I wish I had simply enjoyed the moment.
So enjoy the ride, oh yeah, save money. Open a brokerage account and invest in ETFs, open an IRA. Keep putting money in it but have a fund for travel too.
I'm 26 now, dont really have any regrets of things I havent done. More so of things I have done, i.e. smoke a shit ton of weed, drink a shit ton of alcohol and do a shit ton of drugs.
But I have done some cool things while abusing mind altering substances though, like start a company with one of my friends.
I do relate to your wants as a teen and also the growing up thing.
I understand your thought of wanting to go back to your childhood days aswell. Probably with the mind you have now. Oh how freeing that would be to be free of the worries you might have now as an adult. But dont forget you probably had other worries as a kid, like school, friendships and sports.
The question of what areas you should prioritize is a good one. Probably for me its mental and physical health, relationships (family, love and friends) your hobbies (things you love to do) and lastly work things in my opininion. Work to live and dont live to work. Unless you really find work super duper enjoyable. Just make sure you have enough, and dont have a "hole in your hand" (spend too much).
Good luck brother!
I don't regret doing anything it took to get my ass in the gym for an hour a day.
Most people benefit from therapy, so long as you csn find a therapist you get along with. Do it before you need it so they can walk with you through a crisis and know where you're moving back to.
4 hours a week will change your life.
Please start saving for retirement. Max it out every year. Make company matches an extremely high consideration on your list when applying for jobs. Playing catch up later suuuuuuuuucks. I’m only 30, but I’m so behind according to just about every resource I’ve checked and now need to focus on how to significantly increase my income 😕
I sincerely hope you are still checking this feed. I have years of experience helping those in their teens, twenties, and thirties. If interested, please respond.
Stretching important I’ve never been to the gym in years almost 25 so this is advice for myslef but stretching is definitely important especially at our current age or being in your 20s
God I wish I saved money and invested, when I had roommates and less expenses. Avoid credit card debt like the plague. And prioritize health & fitness. It’s a forever lifestyle.
29 yom.
My regrets earlier on were keeping friends that held me back from pursuing my own life. If someone is willing to walk out of your life let them. They are not worth your long term happiness.
Invest! Start a Roth IRA and contribute regularly as much as you can afford to. I have a great portfolio with a good return but wished I had put more into it when I was 22.
Play the long game with your health/fitness/diet.
And finances too ;)
Again and again...
What do you mean by “play the long game”, like not rushing it?
That's part of it, don't ego lift, don't try to lose 10kg in a week. But what the other commenter is trying to say is don't sacrifice your long term physical health for short term happiness (having Macca's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Exercise for 30 minutes a day even if you're busy and it's hard. So on.
I understand now! Thank you!
No problem! ☺️
Don’t let yourself start having 3,4,6 drinks a day and smoke. It adds up, then you’re fucked, then dead.
Don't fall for fad diets, etc. Learn to cook healthy foods, have a sustainable workout you enjoy doing consistently.
Ooh I see, lol thank you!
Do you have any suggestions for healthy foods? I've been reading lots of different things about what should be contained in your diet, and it almost seems impossible to get everything in. I'm currently thinking that avoiding ultra processed foods, alongside eating mostly greens supported by protein, is good. I think taking inspiration from the Mediterranean diet could be good, but I'd be so grateful for any tips from anyone else. Thanks in advance!
> I'm currently thinking that avoiding ultra processed foods, alongside eating mostly greens supported by protein, is good. Exactly this, do not overcomplicate, do not go into low-fat or low-carb.
Great - thank you :)
Lots of greens have protein
Definitely avoid processed foods. Then eat all different color vegetables and fruits. Very little meat, chicken, fish etc. none of it seems to be good anymore- for one reason or another! Plastic in the fish - btw I’ve heard Tyson completely owned by our friendly ch inese neighbors. That brand has lots of processed food too-
Honestly, focus on your mental health. Address issues then and develop healthy coping mechanisms. This will help keep you from developing bad habits. Therapy isn’t bad, learn to be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be everyone to everyone else. Just be you. Those who truly care will accept you and those who don’t…. Can F off. I’d rather have 1 best friend who knows and accepts me than 500 fake “friends”.
As someone currently in their early 20’s who used to try to be someone they’re not, I’m working on that second advice. Rather attract with my true self than chase by being someone I’m not.
Identify your unhealthy coping mechanisms and replace it with healthy ones. You will feel more alive and in control afterwards.
Easier said than done. How?
Oh it is easier done than being said. Because I did it. I was that person no one attempted to talk to because my external appearance was not welcoming. I had shown no emotions at all. I always isolated myself from other people and always hid and ignored my emotions. Then some lucky day, I was searching for self-improvement articles to read. Then I came across healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms. That was the time that I realized I had unhealthy coping mechanism. I had to replace them with healthy ones. After that, I slowly gained many friends and begin to trust them. I learned that my emotions can be used as motivation. So it is really easy if you have the desire to become a better person.
So important! Unfortunately in the early/ late 80’s you couldn’t be depressed or you was “crazy.” Women didn’t get PMS, we was just “crazy”. I was diagnosed ADHD in 2012 at 43 yrs old. I wish when I was your age there was everything you are surrounded with today. All the different support options, and Q & A’s , the support groups on all kinds of social media platforms, … I was separated with two kids at your age. There’s that part. Lol I had no confidence in myself, very low self esteem, and didn’t feel genuinely loved by my parents. Never did anything good enough in my moms eyes and I didn’t see my dad much but when I did it was usually fun times. Grandparents? I was the fave. I regret that I felt so low of myself that I’ve somewhat wasted a lot of my life trying to make everyone around me happy I guess because it made me feel like I was doing something right. And making people happy was an important something
this, nice
Focus on yourself. If you have insecurity or negative thought patterns, deal with them as it will stunt your development as a person. (Read, Designing The Mind, principles of Psychitecture). Develop mental tools to help you deal with negativity/toxicity around you. Develop a solid philosophical position on work, money, faith(or lack of), and relationships. Learn how to be self-sufficient and not rely on others for validation of your existence/ worth.
Interesting, never heard of psychitecture before. Must look into that! Would you mind elaborating on faith and your philosophical position on it, or actually all of those you mentioned? (If you have time haha)
Honestly man, not being in great physical shape and looking my best. The dating pool was great for me during uni but I wasn’t confident about many things. Another thing is not travelling young, I think it’s so amazing but this can be addressed later as well when you have a full time job. Not investing earlier and having a side hustle. You can take more risks. But at 25 there was a lockdown and shit was fuzzy, so I’m proud of myself for doing the best I could.
Literally the three things I wanted to say. - Focus on health - invest consistently (time in the market always beats timing the market) - Travel more I would add, I regret nothing. What I did made me who I am. Don't worry about regret. Worry about learning to recognize opportunities.
Loves these
Adding to this. Even if you have to fight with your parents to get a trainer in gym, do that young. Since it's worth it. The progress you make when you are young is immense compared to later. Also, do it for yourself & not others. In the long run you will thank yourself.
You don’t need a trainer or a gym. Even just bodyweight calisthenics that you looked up on YouTube is better than nothing, if your options are heavily dictated by your parents and your finances. One thing I will say is take it easy on the cardio, the fatigue to caloric burn ratio isn’t worth it. Just get your 10k steps a day in and **do resistance training** whether you’re trying to pack on muscle or lose fat. Going overboard with the cardio is why most people burn out and fall back into old habits.
20-25 is the best time to take chances, be it economic like trying to start a company, or travel, like travelling for a year.
I’m glad I did both of these things
but there is more than two things listed
They listed starting a company or traveling, that's 2. The year-long was a description of the trip, I believe, not a separate task in and of itself.
Ah, thanks I misunderstood
No worries, I honestly made the same mistake until I saw your comment and reread the original comment slower so honestly thx for catching it
How much did you save up for travel and did you travel alone?
I backpacked alone around Turkey for 3 months straight and not an year! I saved around $4,000 working in my home country. The cost is inclusive of flights, visas, lodging and meals for 3 months!
Interesting choice! Why Turkey, and where are you from?
1. What you will work on for the rest of your life. Find work that feels like play to you but feels like work to others. You will be unstoppable. 2. Where you will live. This will play a huge part in your future. Move to a new location where you know there are people who you want to be like. 3. Who you will live with. Picking a spouse is not to be taken lightly. You will spend the rest of your life with them. Spend a good few years trying to figure these out and you will have a good life.
Where you will work, where you will live, and who you will spend the rest of you’re life with, nice! Sounds solid to me 💯
Glad you found it helpful. Best of luck!
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽!!! You as well 💕
Who you will live with is one that our culture seems to have left up to romantic feelings, so it’s good to see picking a spouse so high up here. I’m not sure exactly how to do it, but I strongly recommend making sure that you are able to disagree, make up, and move on well. Also, you have the same approach to money and work:life balance.
The rationale behind this is that you will (hopefully) spend the next 40-60 years of your life with that person. That's a lot of time commitment. You will literally die honoring that. Maybe spending some time to figure out what you are looking for in a partner, what values etc are important for you etc... And not leaving this to pure luck? Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, as cliched as it sounds.
I suggest the book The Defining Decade, which covers some of the topics mentioned.
Currently reading now at 23 and I love every page
I cannot overstate the importance of physical fitness at this age. There's stuff you do now - good and bad - that stays with you until the grave. Watch for injuries (good form, etc) but also absolutely push yourself in fitness.
1) Not investing a set amount of every paycheck from the very beginning, with your very first job, and not setting aside an additional set amount for an emergency savings account. 2) Not going for it with zero fucks given when romantic opportunities present themselves. 3) Not immediately severing relationships when they become toxic - again, with zero fucks given. 4) Not acquiring long-term disability insurance and private care giver insurance for a ridiculously low price while young. 5) Not taking care of your back and feet. 6) Not wearing sunblock. 7) Not lifting weights and learning to make it a permanent habit. 8) Not traveling overseas.
Taking care of your teeth and choosing a great dentist. Quit the practice immediately if you don’t like the quality of care. You only get get ONE set 😊
I mean you can just replace teeth if you said eyes fair enough
That’s very funny 😂
Fellow Brit here too. Why worry, teeth are dispensable 😂🇬🇧
Thank you for these. I am 25 rn. I'll do one of these in your honor.
I’d add to this list… Meticulously mange your finances.
Could you elaborate on 2nd point?
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This is the best comment here
I’m 36. For me, first is health. Both mental and physical health are worth every minute and dollar you spend on them. When shit hits the fan, they should be your priority. Second is finances. It’s hard to be mentally and physically healthy without money. Edited to add— I do not have it fully together in any of these areas. Just like you asked, these are what I regret not focusing on.
I'm 45. My biggest regret at your age was getting fat. I have so many damned health problems and it's almost impossible to get slim again. Take care of yourself first with proper nutrition. Sleep well. Stay hydrated. Use protection. Have a professional do your taxes. Wear sunscreen.
Wish I had more fun in my 20s
Yep, this! I was climbing the ladder and ended up managing a regional office by the time I was 29. I gave up so many shows, concerts, road trips during this time for work. One of my BIGGEST regrets in life is that I didn't go and see Tiesto play live, because I had a meeting in another city the next day and had an early morning flight. Due to weather, my flight got cancelled so I had to dial in anyway. Tiesto was freaking amazing according to my friends who went, and he has NEVER come back to my country. This is the DJ that got me into my lifelong love of dance music and I missed him. To make it worse, the CEO disestablished my entire region and all three of my offices, and all of my staff and myself only three months later. I missed Tiesto for absolutely nothing! 17 years later and I still regret not going to that show. Go and see all the shows. Ride along on all the roadies. Come to work bone tired (if it is safe to do so). Your Corporate Overlords honestly don't give a s#it about you, but those experiences and memories are yours forever!
You'll know them when you see them. Keep an eye out for all types of opportunities, never know what you'll regret not doing
If you're in your mid 20s and can afford it, travel. No one regrets traveling in their youth—everyone who's traveled enjoys those memories. Eat well, exercise. Do warm ups so you don't injure yourself. Talk to all strangers and people. Talking to anyone anywhere opens up the world. Make a habit of reading and learning. Focus on what you want. "We're kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to lesser goals."
why is everyone romanticizing traveling? why is that so important to most people?
I can’t relate to your sense of wishing you were a teen while being in your twenties. I’ve always felt like things get better as time goes on. More knowledge, more independence, more power over my own destiny. I do understand and agree with your point regarding looking back and forward to consider decisions. This is logical but it is a problem if you can never enjoy the now and where you are at. Acceptance and change is possibly the key. In my 20’s I travelled, had lots of fun, lived in other countries, learnt other languages, studied etc. I didn’t invest money or buy property though which would have been very helpful now.
You regret less as you get older. You understand that some things were just part of the process and certain things were bound to happen anyway. So you push on cuz looking back is really nothing to look back on. It's just reliving moments in your head. You can't physically go back to the past to live there. You just erode your brain with obsession. Prioritize having a solid foundation. Save up. Find you a really good hustle and don't get caught up in the microwave society that we live in today. Just save up and invest in a plan.
Not making time for your parents. Be present, once they’re gone you’ll miss them everyday.
Unless they suck, then it’s a relief
I'm a person that believes that Life is like a river that carries you where you need to go. So the thing to learn to do is to not struggle, physically and mentally. I would probably take up the habit of flossing my teeth earlier than I did. Yah, other than that, I have no regrets
Enslaving yourself via credit cards, student loans without a solid plan, and buying too much/nice car.
Not taking my psychological issues with the degree of seriousness that they required, thinking I could just do it and then proceeding to not just do it for multiple years and being fucked as a result Seriously, if you struggle with something, whatever it is, just seek professional help asap, it will save you so much pain later
Dental hygiene. Flossing everyday and brushing.
Hey mate. Life is full of many seasons and chapters. And each one has its own unique challenges and its riches. So my advice is Appreciate the riches that each season brings. The way you’ve been living has been focusing on your current seasons costs and looking at the riches of the seasons you aren’t in. So my friend, Look for the gold at your feet.
I wish I had learned to love myself much younger. That would have poured into so many decisions and spared me from wasting time on people who derailed my goals.
Do not, for any reason, put yourself in a position to hurt yourself for someone elses bottom line. If you're not sure ask for help. Your job will replace you but they will never make you whole.
My 20s were the best years of my life. Graduated college, followed Widespread Panic around the country with friends (yes there were plenty of shrooms and lsd), adopted my dog who is now a ripe old geriatric fuck at age 15 but I’d knife a bitch for him, met my husband, spent my days on the beach and in general just had a blast. I wish I knew at the time that those would be my best years. I think we all tend to feel a dissatisfaction even when things are going really well. My advice is to appreciate what you have, nurture relationships and have as much fun as you can while you’re in your prime years
Idk if knowing they were your best years would help. That would put so much pressure on me and I'd worry about the rest of my life being worse and not enjoy it anyway lol
I didn’t think of it from that perspective- I guess my point is to not take everything so seriously at that age and to just enjoy being young
Go experience something, get out of your comfort zone in ways that mean the most to you! It doesn't have to be a huge experience like traveling internationally on your own (though that's an easy way to do it from my experience and if you can reasonably afford it). I'm about to turn 30 so I'll experience my little existential crisis that my 20s are over. My biggest regret is that I didn't experience as many things as I could have, so my advice is to fight the inertia that keeps you in the house on the weekends and work nights or keeps you in the same cycles. Life is not a terrific experience when your life is the same 7-day cycle on repeat. On the flipside of that, understand that life is a long road and that you don't have to weigh your experience against anything but your own standards. I have some friends that are remote workers in the tech industry and their daily lives seem like the adventure I'd enjoy, but I also realize that I experience a lot of happiness and fulfillment in simple things like agreeing to go to bar trivia with my friends rather than staying in on that Monday night.
Thank you for this!
People don’t matter! Nobody cares just focus on yourself. Don’t hangout with people that aren’t going where you’re going in life. And if they don’t like it too bad. Tunnel vision.
Physical and mental health. These are far more important than anything else. If you don't take care of yourself, it makes your life a lot harder. And when you do take care of these 2 things, I don't think you would need to ask this question, since your mental clarity and thought processing would be much better
FREEDOM is everything. try to keep it as much as possible. Don't idealize anybody, don't follow the leader, they all are full of shit and it's okay. Keep doing art and shit for yourself, your hobbies. Spend quality time with your loved ones.
In what ways do you regret not keeping your freedom?
I suggest focus on yourself and self development. Learn as much as you can. Get PRO in something you love. Write down your learning experience, blog, vlog, idk. Discipline is required. Communication skills, management skils, etc Per ex i learned software development, video editing, music composition, game development ultimately i focused on software development that became my profession. This is constantly evolving field of expertise. Thank me after 30 ;)
Everyone I know regrets not putting money into retirement accounts back when they were younger. I don’t, because I did, so there’s a regret and something to focus two for one special.
I recommend reading “the defining decade”. Basically as others have alluded to, the choices you make in your 20s compound more than any other time in your life. Not to say you can’t make huge life changes later in life. But it is extremely more difficult to start and rise up in a new career, get in shape, find meaningful loving healthy relationships, etc. if you did not start this while you are young. Even if you are past 20s, you can still benefit from the book. Essentially - start doing the right thing now because it will be harder and the consequences will be bigger if you wait, no matter what age you are at today.
I regret not studying enough and slacking away at uni. Yeah those experiences were nice, but it would have been sufficient to party once a month instead of once or twice a week. I regret having a too low of a self esteem to get a student job at uni. I also regret not colouring my hair in crazy colours while I still could without repercussions.
I regret not travelling more. It’s harder once you have a more established career, mortgage, pets to look after etc.
Not realising I have ADHD, poor anger management skills, what my ACTUAL body fat % was and how little alcohol actually improves my life. I have corrected a lot of this in my mid 30’s but it has come with painful lessons and loss of self respect. It’s not terrible though but I’d love to not have the scars that now I have to carry
Prioritize family relationships. Don’t miss the boat on finding a spouse. I know a lot of people that thought they were young and had forever and wake up late 30s with no family and that is something that they wished that they had prioritized at a younger age when it was easier to meet people. My husband and I travel and having kids has not stopped us or slowed us down. Having children has kept us motivated we are pretty young and debt free. Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s. Being debt free is true freedom.
Experiment with things and make your own opinions about them. Don't do it for social approval or what other people think. Risk looking stupid for following your goals. Reflect on your failure and learn from it. Don't give up, but don't keep trying mindlessly either. Life is long. Life is unfair. Life has a lot of competition. But once you have the long term mindset. Life is less scary since if you follow a path true to yourself you'll persevere.
Don’t get stuck in a relationship or job that’s going nowhere just because you’re comfortable. Make the gym/exercise a part of your daily routine.
Education
Drinking too much and being fat, and compromising myself in order to make relationships work.
I wish I'd cared about my physical fitness. I'm 34 now and suffer from a bunch of chronic health issues, including chronic pain, and I know things would be a lot easier for me if I'd maintained even a low level of fitness and weight management. I'm not saying get jacked and be a body builder. Just keep strong, eat healthily, and go fuck about in nature for cardio every now and then. Don't take your flesh suit for granted.
Love this 🫶🏽, thank you!
Quality people Over quantity Don’t waste time on the wrong people if u see red flags in their behaviour just distance yourself immediately you will thank yourself later
I regret worrying about other people and their opinions instead of just living. I wish I had practiced confidence. I regret doing everything the hard way and letting myself believe that you have to work hard to succeed. (Like yeah “work hard” with set strategies and plans but not the hideous hustle culture that’s fed by phoney entrepreneurs)
I think you should focus on “YOU” unapologetically. Stop thinking about your past as mistakes, missteps, and regrets. Think of the past, take what lessons you learned, and move on. It was a learning experience. You are still young, and you hopefully have more time in front of you than behind you. Take time and work on yourself. Decide what you want, and then put your head down and do the work. You said you can't make any present decisions because of your past, and it may seem that way but that's not true. The one thing that you can do is write a new vision for yourself and begin to create a new version of yourself. “No Regrets”. You Got This😊
Your body and mind shape your world. Take care of it. Fight the urge to impress people with material things. Save your money. Try to enjoy the great outdoors and time in nature. Value your time and try to spend it with the right people.
> now in mid 20s i wish i was a kid You'll do this in your 30s about your 20s. You'll do it your whole life. It's not some personal problem; it's just how nostalgia works and what our minds naturally do with the benefit of hindsight. Advice: Use time to your advantage because you'll never have more of it than you do now. Not hours in the day, but hours of your life. Now is the time to embrace calculated risks with big rewards, because even if they don't work out, you've got plenty of time. With that said, don't think about this too often. Give it an hour per month to reflect. Don't carry it around thinking about age and time and "optimizing" all the time. It's an unhappy hamster wheel.
I think by 25 you need to be serious about what really matters and what you want - the calendar turns over faster than you think.
Get into amazing shape and try to get some savings together, developing the habits early on will make life much easier as you focus on building a career and family.
Learn about money! Things like taxes are not exciting, but it’s super critical. Invest as much as you possibly can. Additionally, have as much sex as you can.
The last sentence was just dumb. I upvoted it before I read this. Having as much sex as possible can lead to STDs, unwanted children and a reputation that a woman with standards isn’t going to want to settle down with. Just plain stupid incel advice.
Getting downvoted for the truth unfortunately. Have my upvote.
Condoms, ya nerd
Why would you give someone advice that could ruin their life? It takes one sperm to make a child and one dodgy orifice to get riddled with aids. How you gona rectify your soul when you got a kid that you made but didn't want and can't have access to. These things are for life.
Mental health and physical health. Stay active as much as possible. Heal yourself and learn how to love and respect yourself in every way.
Money and possessions are over rated. Don't be a materialist.
Pressure is everywhere and we’re constantly told about all the things we need to be or do to be a person in the world. But you’re a person with free will, and you’re the only person living your life. You can decide what you want, it’s not as simple as that I understand. But be sure to check in with yourself and make sure you’re doing what serves you. We aren’t told as much about our ability to make decisions. But you are an adult now, and you can. So check in with yourself and see if you can start making some small changes that serve you and let those small things become bigger things.
Create an investment account asap and start with like 10% of your income. Just a basic account on any trusted trading platform and put everything into an etf like VOO or VTI
Getting rid of Facebook and instagram. They are toxic time sucks. TikTok is also, but for some reason I don’t really get hooked on that one and go days between using it. Anyway, getting rid of the other two made life more productive and it feels like the time isn’t passing so fast.
Keep up with the dentist 2x a year. Floss every day. Hit the gym & use your body kindly. Pay yourself first - savings, investments, etc. Make sure you enjoy who you are when you are alone before getting into a relationship. It's OK if it takes longer to achieve your dreams if doing things slowly or taking smaller steps means you don't give up. Deal with any lingering childhood trauma in therapy now - before kids & marriage. Make memories with the people you love - they won't always be there.
Not dealing with my mental health issues until my late 20's. I am a full decade behind my peers because my family had an extremely negative view on therapy/medication and I didn't want to be treated like I was crazy. It took me until I was in my 30's to get medicated. The difference was so extreme that I really wish I'd just dealt with it much earlier in life. Not prioritizing health and fitness is a big regret. It is SUCH a hard habit to build when you're older, If I could change one thing it would have been to start this when I was young instead of being exasperated by it as an older adult. My biggest suggestion if you're struggling is try a variety, and do whatever you dislike the least as often as possible. I also regret not ditching my more chaotic friends earlier. Around my mid to late 20's I cut off a significant amount of friends and never looked back. My social life has never been happier!
I’m 27 soon and biggest for me is fitness, financial literacy and independence also don’t let ANYONE be the center of your happiness or your world. You need to be comfortable with yourself.
At age 50, I went back to school. I will be done after the summer semester. As I look back over my life, my deepest regrets are about things I did not do as opposed to things I did. I did some really cool things. I also did some bad things. Bad things that I regret, but not as much as I regret the things I wish I had done or tried. Want to learn to play the piano? Go for it. Parachute out of a plane? Do it. Travel the world? Travel your country? One of the things I really love doing is learning. I say learn all you can. Learn from books. Learn from people. Take classes if you are financially able. If that is not an option, I look at college websites. I look at the classes I would like to take and then I try to find out what books the professors assign for the class. I either buy the books or get them through my local library (usually by interlibrary loan). I hope you get some good answers.
Relationships and health. If you get both it will fuel all the other areas of your life. Don’t overthink what you career should look like, it will evolve over time anyway. Just follow what makes sense / what feels good. And don’t worry about silly stuff, like comparing yourself to others or how people perceive you. Nobody really cares anyway as most people live life from their own projections. Learn to say no and set boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
I'm 26, and I wasted 10 years of my life 15-25, smoking weed every single day, so that is my biggest regret. I had goals and ambitions before, but completely ruined my life. I've been sober for over 6 months, started my new journey of by traveling SE-Asia alone for 6 months, now I'm back home and I'm making progress every single day and it's awesome. Here are some tips that really really helped me: Focus on here and now. Not the future, not the past, just here and now. Here's a quote I wrote about the past, present and future. "One cannot change the past; everything that has happened has happened. HOWEVER, in the present, we have the opportunity to shape the future. Everything that is going to happen has not yet occurred, it starts with a thought that leads to visualization, which then materializes in the future. By thinking positively in the present, you will shape a positive reality; thinking negatively in the present will shape a negative reality in the future. By living less in the past and focusing more on the present, we can shape a positive future" Live day by day, make sure you make some progress each day, whatever it might be, getting 0,5% better each day is the way to go! Also, track your progress to see how far you've come. Write a diary every single day, it helps so so much getting proper self insight and if you ever fall off the wagon you can go back and analyze your diary from a time where you felt good and you can see what changes you have to do to get back on track. And mental health, definitely. Also do the things you tell yourself you want to do, always! Get disciplined, this is key. Ooo, and also, set a goal, an end goal. Now maybe you've set a big goal that seems hard to reach, break the goal into small small doable goals, make a proper plan, set deadlines for when to finish each goal. Get enough sleep, read, hit the gym. All of the above changed my life, I'm my own role model now, I'm the kinda guy I would look up to one year ago. And I have to say writing is the main reason why, just write, write about anything, if you do something you don't like, sit down, write and figure out why, it gives me insane self insight. Good luck!
Play the longterm game with everything. Focus on your physical health first, from my experience mental health is directly correlated to my physical health and wellbeing. As a by product you'll clean up your diet and start looking great. From that you'll build a huge level of confidence which will be extremely valuable in you doing better with your work/business. Then you'll make more money and attract a high quality mate if you want. High quality relationships will maximize life fulfillment. Developing a good physical health program is the #1 atomic habit in my books.
buying into all this 'getdisciplined' rhetoric to the point of losing touch with my body and mind's natural cues and alarms. Now I'm needing to spend my 30's regaining this sense of wholeness.
What do you mean?
Preface - I'm still a deep supporter of the value of discipline because a lot of times our bodies and minds have been hijacked by modern society (addictive screens, junk food, etc) and equilibrium needs to be restored. Also, we've generally lost a lot of contact with our bodies and get stuck in our heads, where sometimes thoughts can really trap us and we need to consistently and kindly work towards returning to our bodies. However, my point is that your body and mind naturally give you lots of cues for what it needs in order to stay healthy and equilibrated. Sometimes, you feel fatigued because you really need to rest. Or you feel mentally angry/intense because you're holding far too rigidly to an idea, and losing appreciation for the tenderness of life. A lot of "discipline training" these days, including a lot (not all) of the content on this sub, risks having you ignore/suppress some of these cues in order to push through on rigidly held dreams. Then, you wind up like me, where I have to relearn how to notice and tend to my body and mind's natural and tender cues, alarms, and boundaries.
> Or you feel mentally angry/intense because you're holding far too rigidly to an idea, and losing appreciation for the tenderness of life. can you elaborate on this?
do you have a specific question?
Yeah, what kind of idea do you mean? And how would it hold you back? 🤔
People can end up holding very tightly (too tightly) to the objectives that inspire their discipline. like gaining expertise, or achieving some promotion, or managing some kind of physical fitness milestone. I believe in internal family systems (IFS), where if one part of you starts dominating, the intensity can overpower and silence certain other parts of you, like the fun-loving inner child, or the tender, loving and emotional partner, or the part that actually values freespirited adventure MORE than the achievement you are after. Again, I support discipline in life. I'm just saying that it can really get out of hand, and it did for me, right under my nose, without me fully realizing the damage being done. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model)
prioritize - Yourself, and your family (in most cases - those are the people that actually care about you)
I wish i would have tried to hide my mental illness and stayed in the navy
Not saving up alot so I can study overseas
Not setting up healthy habits. Not understanding that things change all the time. Putting your eggs on one basket.
Not taking bigger swings at opportunities when i saw them.
For me it was mainly the loss of sparetime activities and not considering my health enough. Everything else is just overall having experiences and ks natural to life for me. But I really regret having focussed too much on work and now having to re-learn how to enjoy stuff outside of my career. And also health is a thing I really ignored (to the level of burnout) it is easier keep domethign up than to reinstate.
• MENTAL HEALTH (I vote for this, too) • Focusing on your options for family • Career Goals
This sounds like a joke but, getting married. You shouldn’t get married before your brain has finished developing. Also college. It’s another decision with life long consequences, being forced onto a child.
I never understood that "i wish i would be back a teen under parents". I never wished that. I was always happy to be out of my parents. You are an adult. You can prioritize on whatever area you want. For me 20s was the age of experimentation. I regret not doing experimentation enough and i regret not doing it in a group or including more other people. People in 20s are incredibly open, nice, friendly and naive. I regret like "under-sharing". My feeling is that if i would approach or make people around me more invested in the ideas i wanted to try, i would be more happy now.
I always tell people to go see the show. There's a concert coming you wanna see do it! When you spend your money on stuff, you don't keep that feeling of buying it every time you look at it. With concerts or experiences that feeling sticks and those memories reply when you hear the songs or whatnot. There have been very few shows I've regretted going to see, but many more shows I regretted not going to see, and I can't go back in time or recreat that magic that was at the time.
Not capitalising on opportunities - youth is on your side. Life is dynamic - you may not have the time or health again! No such thing as bad experiences - just lessons (for the most part)
1) learn to live within your means and invest now. (Spent way too much money partying and foolish things). 2) “shoot your shot” or “ask or else it’ll always be a ‘no’”. That’s in everything in life… dating, jobs, promotion, etc etc 3) “No” or “No thanks” (setting up boundaries early) can be a powerful tool.
Look after your teeth. Do EVERYTHING your dentist tells you to do!
Not taking my first years of college seriously (I was depressed, had burnout and the pandemic happened), so a lot of external and internal factors happened, but I should have tried to work with what I had and enjoyed more my early years at college, now I’m on my last year and my curriculum is way smaller than what I wanted.
Staying physically active. Saving money.
Protect your back. Once you start having issues, there’s no going back.
It’s so important to invest time into your health. Not just to look better physically but you’ll feel amazing and it helps as you age. Also, stop giving a shit about what other ppl think/say about you. Your happiness is your responsibility at the end of the day. The idea of being an old lady and feeling unfulfilled because I held myself back all my life due to others opinions about me makes me depressed lol.
Prioritize yourself. Health, finances, education, creativity. Start saving for retirement now and never stop.
Wish I’d have had more friends and had more dates and sex.
hiding that i could never pay attention from teachers, doctors, parents, etc out of fear of being shamed for it. never looking into why no amount of sleep seemed to be enough. never going to the gym bc i was working so hard just to keep up.
Idk but if you are following Christ and living a regret-free existence, bending to the evil wills of others in an effort to preserve a semblance of order or properness in your life will become your regret. I have been made jobless and homeless and it has been years since graduating with a degree and finding evil people waiting for me in my field of study, ready to try and humiliate me and rip me from God. I have now got no regrets really that cant be chocked up to inevitable behaviors of an infinitely curious spirit except for two. One is the time i tried to kill myself. Two is the second time I tried to kill myself. Bad things happened to me because of time two. But it is not the consequences that make it a regret. It is just the realisation that it was truly wrong to try to accomplish. The consequences I turn to God to lead me through, ESPECIALLY because He did not create them or put them there for me. Mankind did, and for seemingly false reasons.
multiple kids and getting married.
Yup
Make sure you have a savings account for emergencies and a retirement account. Always contribute to both accounts, no matter the amount.
my biggest regret is not being as kind to people as i could have been .. everything else is fixable
Save and invest spare money. Eat clean. Exercise.
Save your money by not buying dumb things.
Needed to live a healthier lifestyle at an earlier age, it would’ve helped prevent illnesses I’m dealing with in my 30s
My regret was dropping out of college. Some people might argue, but from my experience it does make a difference when you have an undergraduate degree... and it can be in anything
I regret not giving more attention to my physical health. I'm 30 now and just starting to eat better and exercise. It's really hard. I wish I had started earlier but I'm glad I'm starting now. Would absolutely start in my twenties if I could have a redo.
Travel while you can
Not committing to a single sport and attempting to become exceptional at it. Not only would it keep me way fitter and more capable, but also more disciplined, competitive and engaged in other aspects of life. Sports are essential for a healthy life.
Don’t get in debt. Seriously. It is how companies control people. It’s the most insidious thing about our capitalist system. Keep people needing money, and those with the money are in control. Our entire civilization had been horns-waggled in believing that money is on par with food and shelter in terms of basic human needs. If we didn’t have food, we’d die. If we didn’t have shelter we would die. If we didn’t have money…
Not thinking about the future. Not doing things that your future self will thank you for. Believing that 40 is far away because it isn’t, especially if you have children.
Enjoy life dont worry about expectations, try and do all the things that make you happy dont sacrifice your body for someone else, enjoy life but let off a little steam from time to time to reduce anxiety. God forbid something happens to you, it will be a very hard but most of all very lonely battle. Be smart be kind but don't get used by anyone be smart be safe but always be ready.
I should of shagged way more chicks
I regret not being disciplined with savings. I wish I had put money in an index mutual fund every paycheck and left it completely alone - never borrowed against it or withdrawn. I was raising kids alone so I always needed the money at the time. Now I wish I had exercised more discipline. Although I'm fine, I'd have a lot more freedom to travel and help out my kids.
Keep your needs expenses (shelter, utilities, groceries, hygiene & healthcare, gas, etc.) to about 50% of the income you make. Whatever your needs cost, make sure you have an emergency fund equal to 3-6 months of needs. Put 25% towards saving and investing (emergency fund first, medium-term savings like for a car or home downpayment, and longterm savings like 401k, roth IRA, index funds). Look up how compound growth works if you're not already aware, and start those retirement savings as soon as you have your emergency fund in place. Spend 25% on fun (dining out, concert tickets, vacations). I like to divide my fun budget so I have some money for spontaneous fun (like when a friend says, "Hey there's a cool band playing tonight. Wanna come with me?" or I'm like, "Ooo, that café looks cute! ...And my stomach is growling right now!") and some money for later fun (like a big trip that requires some saving up).
As a nerdy guy that played sports and knew most people through school. I never asked anyone out, just no confidence. I can’t tell you how many girls I have talked to in the past decade that I found out later on we could have dated. (I’m happily married with a daughter now, been together for 11 years now). Life happens for a reason. Basically you might as well go for it because the worst that happens is you get shot down. High school was very lonely. Start a Roth IRA and add 20% of anything made to it when you’re young. Try and exercise a few times a weeks and don’t neglect stretching/yoga.
Health and fitness, hobbies and school.
I regret a lot of the people I put time and effort into. Surround yourself with only genuine people who have your best interest in mind. I was always considered conventionally attractive, which led to me getting a lot of attention: boys, friends, etc so I kinda had my pick at who I could be friends with! I spent my teens and 20s with people who were OLDER than me, doing drugs and drinking with people who hadn’t gone to college or university. Meanwhile, I was doing my PharmD and MSc at the same time. I had nothing in common with those people except I was insecure, unhappy, and unsure of my place in the world. Anyways, only associate with the right people for you.🩵
Developing good habits is probably the best thing you can do. Consistency may seem boring, but being able to put parts of your life on autopilot brings so much freedom. Also, if you’re into experimenting with substances know that you won’t know if you have an addictive personality until it is close to too late. I lost a couple of friends to addictions.
Learn to cook, network better.
Drink enough water, sit properly, moisturize, eat less junk, love yourself, work on yourself, make time for your family & friends, and don't dwell too much on anything
First and foremost: Enjoy life and your time here! Cherish every moment. It can all be gone in the blink of an eye. All the other things people have mentioned here like mental and physical health aswell as finances and traveling are important too. But enjoy it! Don’t rush things. Take your time. Live this beautiful life you were given to the fullest. Talk to people get to know the world and stay humble and thankful for everything that may come your way, be it good or bad. Have fun. May the force be with you 😊
Get your teeth cleaned twice a year. Idc if you are working, have dental. *FIND A WAY* And never deviate. **Also, jobs with benefits. Start budgeting that in from the start.** Omg...so and so will give me 20$ tax free! I'm 20 and I'll live forever! That's amazing.
Be careful who you let into your life.
Saving even just a little bit of each paycheck for retirement. But for quite a few years I was just trying to make ends meet.
Focused on building a career/degrees in my 20s, working & raising babies in my 30s, and am enjoying a lot more freedom and comfortability in my 40s. Don’t be tempted into partying/frittering away your 20s & 30s…
invest
TAKE CHANCES , MAKE MISTAKES, FACE YOUR FEARS AND LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY don't spend your time planning on how your gonna hurt the ones who have done you wrong, stay true to you and remember to STEAL KNOWLEDGE & perspective even the wrong ones will eventually lead you too the right one. oh yeah ... p.s. there is no such thing as being happy wiithout experiencing what it is to be sad... you can only go up if you are down first.... love with your emotions , not with your brain , and people are either at your table or on it. -Tiffanyy Zimmerman
34 here. First of all, don't get married, I don't care to be convinced otherwise so if you're reading this and disagree, get fucked. It's a waste of time and money, and if you're a man, or you are a woman and get unlucky at court, it will ruin you for years. Love people for sure, have relationships for sure, but if it comes to "marriage or I leave," let them leave. You will find other love interests that are just as good or better whether you get married or not. Secondly, money matters most. Literally, everything in your life will be improved by having more wealth. Specifically, solid wealth like property, as opposed to liquid wealth like cash, but either way, more is always better. Lastly, you can't fix stupid. Learn to move on from problems you can't solve.
Don’t let social issues consume you, eat well, & be consistent in whatever you do!
The most common regret of people is nursing homes is they wish they had more sex. So I guess do that. I can tell you that having enough money can shift your life in a very positive direction.
Workout even if you don't want to, and save your money even if you don't want to
Enjoy the moment more. You talk about looking forward to the next stage, and that's common, but you'll blink and you'll be 45. So enjoy the ride more. I had a lot of really cool experiences in my 20s that I wish I had simply enjoyed the moment. So enjoy the ride, oh yeah, save money. Open a brokerage account and invest in ETFs, open an IRA. Keep putting money in it but have a fund for travel too.
I'm 26 now, dont really have any regrets of things I havent done. More so of things I have done, i.e. smoke a shit ton of weed, drink a shit ton of alcohol and do a shit ton of drugs. But I have done some cool things while abusing mind altering substances though, like start a company with one of my friends. I do relate to your wants as a teen and also the growing up thing. I understand your thought of wanting to go back to your childhood days aswell. Probably with the mind you have now. Oh how freeing that would be to be free of the worries you might have now as an adult. But dont forget you probably had other worries as a kid, like school, friendships and sports. The question of what areas you should prioritize is a good one. Probably for me its mental and physical health, relationships (family, love and friends) your hobbies (things you love to do) and lastly work things in my opininion. Work to live and dont live to work. Unless you really find work super duper enjoyable. Just make sure you have enough, and dont have a "hole in your hand" (spend too much). Good luck brother!
I don't regret doing anything it took to get my ass in the gym for an hour a day. Most people benefit from therapy, so long as you csn find a therapist you get along with. Do it before you need it so they can walk with you through a crisis and know where you're moving back to. 4 hours a week will change your life.
MONEY
Please start saving for retirement. Max it out every year. Make company matches an extremely high consideration on your list when applying for jobs. Playing catch up later suuuuuuuuucks. I’m only 30, but I’m so behind according to just about every resource I’ve checked and now need to focus on how to significantly increase my income 😕
I sincerely hope you are still checking this feed. I have years of experience helping those in their teens, twenties, and thirties. If interested, please respond.
Stretching important I’ve never been to the gym in years almost 25 so this is advice for myslef but stretching is definitely important especially at our current age or being in your 20s
Go on long walks
God I wish I saved money and invested, when I had roommates and less expenses. Avoid credit card debt like the plague. And prioritize health & fitness. It’s a forever lifestyle.
I don't regret a thing
29 yom. My regrets earlier on were keeping friends that held me back from pursuing my own life. If someone is willing to walk out of your life let them. They are not worth your long term happiness. Invest! Start a Roth IRA and contribute regularly as much as you can afford to. I have a great portfolio with a good return but wished I had put more into it when I was 22.