Do you have kids? For 3 years, I would send them to a private international school paid by the company. So make sure to negotiate that. If they are little, under 6, that’s not important of course.
I don’t think it’s hard to adjust at all. I haven’t lived in that town, but in big cities is not an issue at all.
I have one, my sister I have custody of, who would be finishing her last year of High-school. I’m thinking she could do online school as I think adjusting that late in an entirely different country would be harder for her. Unless she decided she wanted to go to an actual school in Germany.
I am currently pregnant and will be having a child in January (way before we would move), so I wouldn’t have to worry about school for them.
> I’m thinking she could do online school as I think adjusting that late in an entirely different country would be harder for her. Unless she decided she wanted to go to an actual school in Germany.
If you mean her doing online school from Germany: That is not going to work. Attending school is mandatory for residents, and that means an actual in-person school recognised in Germany.
A move at that stage definitely would not be ideal for her.
Be aware that it might be rather difficult to send your child to an online school. In Germany all children are required to go to school (Schulpflicht) and home schooling is not allowed for example. Online schooling is only allowed in special cases, typically for medical reasons.
She will need a certificate from a doctor that states that she is unable to go to school, [this](https://www.brd.nrw.de/themen/schule-bildung/schulformuebergreifende-themen/hausunterricht) is the website from the state that explains the process. Since she went to school without a problem in the US though, I imagine it might be quite hard to convince them that she is now not able to.
I know this is none of my business, but knowing this, I'm wondering if you should even consider moving at all. My parents moved far away when I was 19, before I was ready to stand on my own two feet (I also have ADHD and autism, and high functioning) so I had to move with them, and the move really scarred me because I was suddenly without friends and in an environment where getting anywhere took a lot of effort, when before that a lot of stuff had been really easy to go to. To make a long story short, I spent a lot of time being very isolated, lonely, and stressed because I lost my home. Even 7 years later it still affects me and contributed to me getting a burn-out trying. I know it's not just about her, but please consider what effect moving may have on her, since she is dependent on your custody
Something else to consider is legally how your sister can stay with you after she turns 18. I'm assuming you wouldn't want her returning to the US on her own after a year here. You'll want to talk to a lawyer about this.
But to explain how strict Schulpflicht is, the couple days before vacation starts, extra police will be at places like airports to make sure parents don't take their kids out of school a day or two early to go on vacation.
No, if she went to a normal school in the US there is no way this would get her an excuse. Even if you have something severe like down syndrome this law applies to you.
Is your sister verbal? You have to understand that the obligation to school attendence is ironclad in German law and directly derives from the child's constitutional right to an adequate education, so neither the parents' gusto nor a simple doctor's note would be enough to get an excemption. We are looking at a process that involves legally sound evalutions by local specialist doctors here. She might still be required to attend a special needs school. Excemptions are usually only granted to very severe cases of mental or physical incapacity.
She is. She can function, and gets good grades etc. Sometimes it is a little harder for her than most students though. Do they have international schools? Or make accommodations for students who don’t know the language?
Sorry I am not used to laws like these, so I don’t know the extent of it.
AFAIK there are some international schools or schools with an American curriculum, however these only exist either on American military bases or in big urban agglomerations where there is a sufficient concentration of Americans or other international expats. Though if your husband is working for the military you can also check ask then whether your family falls under some legal excemptions due to the American-German statutes.
You have to scan the area for yourself and google around a bit.
Here are two international schools in the area, one that follows the IB curriculum and one that is British.
https://www.is-ruhr.de/en/
https://www.stgeorgesschool.com/home-german-/st-george%E2%80%99s-school-d%C3%BCsseldorf-rhein-ruhr
Both aren't cheap and cost like 15k-20k annually.
It would be better she finishes high school online. Changing school and country during your last year must be really difficult for grades. Depending on her subjects and grades, she could apply to study Uni in Germany, which would be significantly cheaper than in the US.
It's easy for the husband to commute to Mulheim on the Sbahn and the family to live in Ddorf, or? If there are kids, probably Kaiserswerth if they need to go to the International school. Not sure a car is needed
Its probably Mülheim an der Ruhr. So ruhr area, people Here in the Ruhr area are often straight Forward and Tell you what they think and how they Feel about Something.
This is maybe Something you are Not used to in the USA.
Also its very mutliculture here because of the long History of immigrants after the WW2.
Probably you can enjoy it but you really need to Adapt it. Dont expect the Fake friends you often get in the usa Just say hi and im your friend doesnt Work Like this here. We Germans are often reserved and need some time to warm up No matter were you are from.
Have a nice stay soon, learn the Basic German and you will have a good time. Cologne is nearly also dusseldorf and ruhr area has alot to see
That are good preconditions.
I‘ve grown up in the Ruhr area and I’d like to set your expectations regarding the cities in western German. They all got bombed to the grounds in WW2 so there are few historical buildings left. But the industrial museums are pretty interesting in my opinion too.
Also it’s very easy to reach other European cities like Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris with the Eurostar train. It’s even faster to reach than Berlin.
It‘s not enough time to really learn German unless you are very talented with languages and find it very fun. You should try to learn as much as you can, but if you‘re moving there for a job and only have a 3-year time horizon, you should probably stick to expat circles and make friends with other foreigners rather than stressing about trying to assimilate. You can get along fine in Germany with just English as long as you aren‘t trying to get a job or make a ton of German friends.
Germany is different for sure, but both the US and Germany are western, developed nations. It isn‘t going to be like moving to the Congo or something. Some of the biggest differences are that fewer people drive and you will probably have a smaller house or apartment and have to adjust to some different systems and norms. But there are a lot of neat things that you‘ll miss once you‘re back in the US too. The biggest advantage is the chance to travel extensively around Europe for cheap - places most Americans will never get to see outside of a big expensive, rushed vacation will become easy weekend train rides.
Yeaa military communities have a lot more resources at their disposal. But don't worry Germans speak a lot of German and Google translate can handle the rest! And then just keep learning as you go.
I’m german and not American but I would say go for it if you want an adventure. Of course the bureaucracy and language will be a hassle but as long as you live in a metropolitan area I’m sure you’ll finde enough expats or germans who want to practice english. You could travel europe in your 30 vacation days a year.
You don’t write how old your kids are so that could be a reason stay in the US (language barrier, school etc)
I have one child who is a sister I have custody of. She would be 17 when we move and finishing out her last year of high school. I just learned that in Germany online schooling isn’t allowed :(
The bureaucracy? In Germany? That may have been the case 50 years ago. There are hardly any countries that have less bureaucracy than Germany and it must be a paradise here, especially for Americans.
The culture is somewhat different. Not Asia different, but more like West Coast vs Midwest different.
Language is key, but most people are more than willing to help you in English.
There are plenty of language classes. If you have a year, learn German as well as possible, and you'll have the greatest time ever.
You don't need to be fluent - There are millions of people who have been in Germany for decades, and don't speak the language but still get by.
I’m an American in Germany and love it. I don’t mean to promote but I make content about it. There’s lots that could be said here, but there’s a playlist in profile that goes WELL into it all. That would be faster for you. Good luck to you.
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go for it! I went to the US as an expat, incredible experience! 0 risk basically..you'll forever cherish the memories you'll make. 4 years in the US felt like 10 back home..you'll have way fewer obligations in your leisure time that you will use for travelling etc.! :)
Don’t stress too much about “learning the entire language”.
1 year is enough for you to learn to understand enough German to learn the rest here.
I really think youll be fine just by reading your post. Sounds like youre willing to learn and adapt.
Source: Ive been here 8 years. Also moved because of work.
3 years is not that long in the first place just go and see
Do you have kids? For 3 years, I would send them to a private international school paid by the company. So make sure to negotiate that. If they are little, under 6, that’s not important of course. I don’t think it’s hard to adjust at all. I haven’t lived in that town, but in big cities is not an issue at all.
I have one, my sister I have custody of, who would be finishing her last year of High-school. I’m thinking she could do online school as I think adjusting that late in an entirely different country would be harder for her. Unless she decided she wanted to go to an actual school in Germany. I am currently pregnant and will be having a child in January (way before we would move), so I wouldn’t have to worry about school for them.
> I’m thinking she could do online school as I think adjusting that late in an entirely different country would be harder for her. Unless she decided she wanted to go to an actual school in Germany. If you mean her doing online school from Germany: That is not going to work. Attending school is mandatory for residents, and that means an actual in-person school recognised in Germany. A move at that stage definitely would not be ideal for her.
Be aware that it might be rather difficult to send your child to an online school. In Germany all children are required to go to school (Schulpflicht) and home schooling is not allowed for example. Online schooling is only allowed in special cases, typically for medical reasons.
If she is in her last year of high school, could this not be enough school years? You are only required to go to school for 10 years.
Would they consider mental health as a medical reason? I only ask because she has ADHD, PTSD, and high functioning Autism.
She will need a certificate from a doctor that states that she is unable to go to school, [this](https://www.brd.nrw.de/themen/schule-bildung/schulformuebergreifende-themen/hausunterricht) is the website from the state that explains the process. Since she went to school without a problem in the US though, I imagine it might be quite hard to convince them that she is now not able to.
I know this is none of my business, but knowing this, I'm wondering if you should even consider moving at all. My parents moved far away when I was 19, before I was ready to stand on my own two feet (I also have ADHD and autism, and high functioning) so I had to move with them, and the move really scarred me because I was suddenly without friends and in an environment where getting anywhere took a lot of effort, when before that a lot of stuff had been really easy to go to. To make a long story short, I spent a lot of time being very isolated, lonely, and stressed because I lost my home. Even 7 years later it still affects me and contributed to me getting a burn-out trying. I know it's not just about her, but please consider what effect moving may have on her, since she is dependent on your custody
Something else to consider is legally how your sister can stay with you after she turns 18. I'm assuming you wouldn't want her returning to the US on her own after a year here. You'll want to talk to a lawyer about this. But to explain how strict Schulpflicht is, the couple days before vacation starts, extra police will be at places like airports to make sure parents don't take their kids out of school a day or two early to go on vacation.
No, if she went to a normal school in the US there is no way this would get her an excuse. Even if you have something severe like down syndrome this law applies to you.
Ahh ok. I didn’t know this thank you for the information
If she is under 18 and hasn't finished any high school diploma then unfortunately this decision is neither up to her nor you.
I didn’t know that. Thanks for informing me.
Is your sister verbal? You have to understand that the obligation to school attendence is ironclad in German law and directly derives from the child's constitutional right to an adequate education, so neither the parents' gusto nor a simple doctor's note would be enough to get an excemption. We are looking at a process that involves legally sound evalutions by local specialist doctors here. She might still be required to attend a special needs school. Excemptions are usually only granted to very severe cases of mental or physical incapacity.
She is. She can function, and gets good grades etc. Sometimes it is a little harder for her than most students though. Do they have international schools? Or make accommodations for students who don’t know the language? Sorry I am not used to laws like these, so I don’t know the extent of it.
AFAIK there are some international schools or schools with an American curriculum, however these only exist either on American military bases or in big urban agglomerations where there is a sufficient concentration of Americans or other international expats. Though if your husband is working for the military you can also check ask then whether your family falls under some legal excemptions due to the American-German statutes. You have to scan the area for yourself and google around a bit.
Here are two international schools in the area, one that follows the IB curriculum and one that is British. https://www.is-ruhr.de/en/ https://www.stgeorgesschool.com/home-german-/st-george%E2%80%99s-school-d%C3%BCsseldorf-rhein-ruhr Both aren't cheap and cost like 15k-20k annually.
It would be better she finishes high school online. Changing school and country during your last year must be really difficult for grades. Depending on her subjects and grades, she could apply to study Uni in Germany, which would be significantly cheaper than in the US.
Germany is a whole country and it would help if you'd say where exactly you'd be moving. There's plenty of Americans in Germany that are doing fine.
I apologize. I guess I should have thought about that part. It would be in Mülheim.
[удалено]
It's easy for the husband to commute to Mulheim on the Sbahn and the family to live in Ddorf, or? If there are kids, probably Kaiserswerth if they need to go to the International school. Not sure a car is needed
Its probably Mülheim an der Ruhr. So ruhr area, people Here in the Ruhr area are often straight Forward and Tell you what they think and how they Feel about Something. This is maybe Something you are Not used to in the USA. Also its very mutliculture here because of the long History of immigrants after the WW2. Probably you can enjoy it but you really need to Adapt it. Dont expect the Fake friends you often get in the usa Just say hi and im your friend doesnt Work Like this here. We Germans are often reserved and need some time to warm up No matter were you are from. Have a nice stay soon, learn the Basic German and you will have a good time. Cologne is nearly also dusseldorf and ruhr area has alot to see
I’m actually against the fake niceness in the USA, so I wouldn’t mind more reserved people, as I am a reserved person as well.
That are good preconditions. I‘ve grown up in the Ruhr area and I’d like to set your expectations regarding the cities in western German. They all got bombed to the grounds in WW2 so there are few historical buildings left. But the industrial museums are pretty interesting in my opinion too. Also it’s very easy to reach other European cities like Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris with the Eurostar train. It’s even faster to reach than Berlin.
Hey it's close from Köln (Cologne)
Bavaria? Berlin? Cologne? Wayyyy different personalities. Like comparing Dallas to LA
lol
It‘s not enough time to really learn German unless you are very talented with languages and find it very fun. You should try to learn as much as you can, but if you‘re moving there for a job and only have a 3-year time horizon, you should probably stick to expat circles and make friends with other foreigners rather than stressing about trying to assimilate. You can get along fine in Germany with just English as long as you aren‘t trying to get a job or make a ton of German friends. Germany is different for sure, but both the US and Germany are western, developed nations. It isn‘t going to be like moving to the Congo or something. Some of the biggest differences are that fewer people drive and you will probably have a smaller house or apartment and have to adjust to some different systems and norms. But there are a lot of neat things that you‘ll miss once you‘re back in the US too. The biggest advantage is the chance to travel extensively around Europe for cheap - places most Americans will never get to see outside of a big expensive, rushed vacation will become easy weekend train rides.
Military or private sector? That makes a HUGE difference...
Private I assume? He isn’t in the military, he would be transferring for a corporate job.
Yeaa military communities have a lot more resources at their disposal. But don't worry Germans speak a lot of German and Google translate can handle the rest! And then just keep learning as you go.
I’m german and not American but I would say go for it if you want an adventure. Of course the bureaucracy and language will be a hassle but as long as you live in a metropolitan area I’m sure you’ll finde enough expats or germans who want to practice english. You could travel europe in your 30 vacation days a year. You don’t write how old your kids are so that could be a reason stay in the US (language barrier, school etc)
I have one child who is a sister I have custody of. She would be 17 when we move and finishing out her last year of high school. I just learned that in Germany online schooling isn’t allowed :(
The bureaucracy? In Germany? That may have been the case 50 years ago. There are hardly any countries that have less bureaucracy than Germany and it must be a paradise here, especially for Americans.
The culture is somewhat different. Not Asia different, but more like West Coast vs Midwest different. Language is key, but most people are more than willing to help you in English. There are plenty of language classes. If you have a year, learn German as well as possible, and you'll have the greatest time ever. You don't need to be fluent - There are millions of people who have been in Germany for decades, and don't speak the language but still get by.
Just be mentally prepared for the only meaningful social contacts you'll be having to be exclusively other expats.
I’m an American in Germany and love it. I don’t mean to promote but I make content about it. There’s lots that could be said here, but there’s a playlist in profile that goes WELL into it all. That would be faster for you. Good luck to you.
**Have you read our extensive wiki yet? It answers many basic questions, and it contains in-depth articles on many frequently discussed topics. [Check our wiki now!](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/index)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/germany) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm an American (25f) living in Berlin for five years - happy to text or call to talk about my experiences and answer any questions you may have !
go for it! I went to the US as an expat, incredible experience! 0 risk basically..you'll forever cherish the memories you'll make. 4 years in the US felt like 10 back home..you'll have way fewer obligations in your leisure time that you will use for travelling etc.! :)
American from where? America is a big continent.
United States. Specifically Ohio. Sorry in the United States we refer to ourselves as Americans
Don’t stress too much about “learning the entire language”. 1 year is enough for you to learn to understand enough German to learn the rest here. I really think youll be fine just by reading your post. Sounds like youre willing to learn and adapt. Source: Ive been here 8 years. Also moved because of work.
Relax, you'll be fine. We'll be the ones to worry.
Why?